Wow; both Jeremy and Thomas are losers, I don't care how attractive they are. I'm glad she heard everything and walked out on Thomas.
Author's Response:
I'm glad to you. I don't know how I'd feel if I heard all that.
Reviewer: SBrown Signed
[Report This]Date: May 15 2013 04:44 am
Yes, he does deserve it. Hopefully Ali has the strength to stay away from him. She needs to cut him off completely. Great start!
Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]Date: May 15 2013 04:21 am
Amazing,more!
Reviewer: silentwriter Signed [Report This]
Date: May 15 2013 03:55 am
I like it , I like it , I love it !!!! At first I was like "what the hell" but as soon as Ali came in and stood her ground , I was like "Yaaaaassssss" lmfaooo. More, more, more keep it coming. But on a side note whatever happened to the other story called To Those Who Wait, I REALLY LOVED that story. Please bring it back.. And it was just starting to get juicy !!! Ima go read it again right now, lol.
Author's Response:
Lol i'm glad you weren't confused for long. I wanted Thomas' confusion to be believable though without giving too much away in the start.
I took Those Who Wait down for some tweaking, then my hard drive crashed and now I fear it's gone. I'm so sorry and I'll try to rewrite it, but I loved the original so much.
Reviewer: Jkelly14 Signed [Report This]Date: May 15 2013 03:36 am
Please don't stop writing, this was great! I can't wait for an update!
Reviewer: Teiga Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 11:25 pm
oooh, welcome back!! so frickin happy to see an update from you! currently not liking Tom very much - that guy has some SERIOUS graveling ahead of him...! look forward to read and thanks for Masks!
Reviewer: Cassius_Noir Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 05:34 pm
There is no need to feel insecure about your writing, this is off to a great start.
Reviewer: Karmal Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 04:31 pm
Thomas has some issues, wonder how he is going to explain what was over heard!? Great start, cant wait to read more. Nice cast
Reviewer: Cali2mt406 Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 04:25 pm
He's an a@@hole. I loved the beginning!
Reviewer: bayoumomma Anonymous [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 03:40 pm
Nice!
Reviewer: bayoumomma Anonymous [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 03:35 pm
Wow I am new here. Such a great start.
Reviewer: Trulyme35 Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 03:27 pm
............ Oooooh he done did it!!!!!
Reviewer: Keyajackson Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 03:19 pm
I logged in just to leave a comment and say that I can't wait to read the next chapter. I had so many emotions in that one chapter alone. Confusion, anger, sadness... Can't wait to see what happens next.
Reviewer: theonlinestalker Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 02:56 pm
NOOOOOOOOOO! WHY DID YOU STOP THERE? Ali, my poor baby! Damn you, Tom! DAMMMN YOU! Sadly though I completely understand where Tom is coming from, but that didn't mean that he shouldn't get his ass whooped. Ali is a good one, but I would have tore that ass up then sashayed to those elevator door and peaced out. Yes, at his job. You damn right.
From author to author, I am going through that "insecure" phase right now. It really gets you down, but you are a natural writer, woman. You know how to spin a tale and capture a reader's attention. Make their heart clutch in pain and tears bubble in their eyes. Not everyone can do that. Not everyone is meant to do that. But you can.
Remember that and I am glad that you are back! And you better update soon.
Reviewer: Missus James Signed
[Report This]Date: May 14 2013 01:43 pm
Wow you are a really great writer! I'm not just saying that. You created that tension and struggle within Thomas just like I'm struggling to understand and like him. He obviously loves her but is full of issues. Great job on the first chapter, VERY interesting angle. I know all about doubting yourself with your writing... its a curse I think. :( But what I've learned is that we gotta write for yourself, for the love of it and people will love it too. But you definitely have the skills. That part when Ali ran away and you said the elevators opened as if sensing her pain... awesome. Just one request... PLEASE continue the story.. Im waaay to invested now. Lol Keep up the good work.
Reviewer: partial2passion Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 11:56 am
Wow. He has lots of issues. I'm glaad Ali overheard everything. Now, let's see what he does about it. I can't believe he thought they could carry on after suggesting abortion as a solution.I'm not sure who I want to knock out more, him or Jeremiah.
This is going to be really good.
Reviewer: BellaChica Anonymous
[Report This]Date: May 14 2013 11:20 am
Intense. Amazing.
Great writing. I hope you will write more. I don't know what to say - fascinating characters - even the shallow ones, intriguing plot setup... I hope he suffers in order to learn that he is wrong. But please don't drag it out too long.
Will she consider an abortion? A baby on a high school counsellor's paycheck can't be much fun... If she does consider it, then I'd say that would give him a deadline to get his act together... Or will she sue him for support?
Reviewer: Bkbutterfly Anonymous [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 10:56 am
LOVE LOVE LLLLLLOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEEE the first chapter CANT WAIT FOR MORE!!!!!!!!! But wow Thomas and Jeremiah are really shallow LOL. I feel so sorry for Ali she was humiliated and no one should ever have to feel like they’re not good enough for someone because of their race or weight etc.
ps. you have no reason to be in insecure(first chapter was written very well) please don’t I REPEAT DON’T give up and don’t doubt yourself because something you can be your own worst enemy, you had me hooked(and I’m sure others) at “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing"
Reviewer: bintjihaad Signed [Report This]Date: May 14 2013 10:27 am