Finally was able to do some reading and decided to read your newest story, this one! First of all, child what are you going through to make you write a story like this? Not that you have to tell me, but I did read your author's note which is why I asked.
This story is so dark, it made me cringe and have a bad taste in my mouth. So you know that if you can get me to do all of that you got some great writing skills. And even though I didn't like what this poor girl was going through and feeling like she was another Precious (the movie) I loved the way you told the story.
This chapter was hard to get through, but I'm going to wait for the next one because I hope something or someone good comes into this girl's life! I want, no need more chapters so I can see if this girl's life get at least slightly better.
Reviewer: katherinemadison Signed [Report This]
Date: January 25 2014 03:14 am
Oh my gosh. My eyes got wide than a mug reading this! I just... wow. I really want to slap her "dad". That bastard... fronting mother****** he is. He has enough sense to act right when others are watching but can't actually live the right way? That's some bull.
Good start, Treale.
Date: January 19 2014 02:02 am
Carmen never stood a chance. Death is too good for those two that birthed her.
Do continue.
Reviewer: BellaChica Anonymous [Report This]Date: January 12 2014 11:29 pm
I like the premise of your story I just think it need a little tightening/editing so that it flows easier, and makes it easie to read!
Reviewer: bry1124 Signed [Report This]Date: January 12 2014 09:01 pm
its good. keep going.
Reviewer: DaSoulVicious Signed [Report This]Date: January 12 2014 07:00 pm
I am hooked. Very good beginning
Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed [Report This]Date: January 12 2014 04:25 pm
Wow is all I can say.
Reviewer: lajack1 Signed [Report This]Date: January 12 2014 02:56 pm
An interesting beginning, although the story is dark I do like it. I feel sorry for Carmen cause her childhood was horrible but she willing moved from one abuser to another. So I don't know how to feel about her. You have laid the groundwork for an epic story. I hope you continue.
Reviewer: shellyme Signed [Report This]Date: January 12 2014 12:39 pm
Interesting start, I think you should continue.
Reviewer: AP Anonymous [Report This]Date: January 12 2014 12:36 pm