Very strange posting this as a stand alone. If I wanted to read about white women only, I could go to fanfiction.net. You say that she is not the main heroine but this story is complete so by definition she is. There are stories where the male lead has been in love with other women besides the main female lead but that is tied into an already laid out story and is a backstory not a stand alone.
This is like a slap in the face because the Chamber is a safe haven for anyone who wants to, to read about characters who are WOC. There are millions of other places to do this without trying to ruin the purpose of this site. Anyone can claim to be black so it's not so much as a safe haven for "WOC authors" (anyone can claim to be so but no one can really know) but a safe haven for fiction about WOC characters.
Story wise I do not understand what you are trying to set up because it seemed to lack focus and cohesion. I was left feeling nothing about either character.Reviewer: HermioneMalfoy08 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 15 2014 05:30 am
Thank you for responding to my comment; however, I'm unsure as to why you are being so defensive about this. Sharing your writing will garner criticism; that's just a simple fact. I stand by my statement about goading WOC on this website. You have a right to defend your work but being open and receptive to other people's opinions helps you grow as a writer. These are not unsubstantiated claims that everyone is making. Someone in the reviews mentioned how this story would have been more palatable if you had started in the present and then worked in the flashbacks.
To clarify, I was referring to the ethnically ambigous model you came up with for the people who were so "bothered" by Scarlett (duh). As I previously stated, we get enough of that in the media. I love reading stories on this website because it celebrates women that don't get a fair shake in media portrayal and it feels like you are bursting the bubble, especially in your responses to reviews.
Maybe another website would be better suited for you. If not, at least try to understand where the majority of readers and reviewers are coming from instead of disregarding their concern. You are a very talented writer. I enjoy your prose and dialogue. Have a wonderful day and best of luck with your writing in the future!
I was defensive because your review was as ambiguous as my model. We all know Scarlett is white, but she isn't my main concern. Indigo is. He'll be the guy we are following. She isn't the main character what so ever and I would never disrespect the site but not eventually having a black female lead at some point. Your review read like an underhanded attack from an anonymous person that's why I responded as such. It was also decidedly vague and leaned more towards comment that criticism. If I misinterpreted it I apologize.
However, I don't know what you mean by bursting the bubble in my reviews...but I have made it clear what my ideas of mainstream media is to me in my responses. I understand that we don't get fair shots at all, as black women and women of color we get more fouls than anything and I love our ability to rise from that. I'll never say otherwise.
I also won't act like there's not issues in house by not talking about it. Questioning things and challenging them are the ways the most progress has been made in this world and I'm not trying to let Jim Crow win.
I don't believe I need to visit another site. The female lead is black. She is accepted here by the Chambers guidelines. I full heartedly understand where everyone is coming from. I truly do and these points each review has made will be an amazing help later on in my writing career whether it's on this site or elsewhere.
Thank you very much for clearing things up. I really appreciate it. I will keep the things you've said in mind.
PS the flashbacks were a great idea, but as I am not a fan of that I'm just going to place the story on chronological order. Idk if that makes sense, but hopefully it will.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 04:45 pm
I like the start of it. So keep going at it. I read some of the comments. Yes, the Chamber is a place where the stories are (supposed to be) written with women of color as leads. But if this story is not at first but as Indigo's story progresses and he ends up with a sister then, that's cool. Hell, if he doesn't then (oh well!) he just doesn't.
Just keep writing.
Its your story.
There are a few stories on here that the lead women aren't black. Don't ask what they were, because I don't remember the names and I don't think they are on the Chamber anymore. In mainstream America we know that women of color are held in lower standards, so this is a place where she (women of color) can be in spotlight where she belongs. Yes, white men get with white women all the time and also any other race they want.
I like your story. Keep doing you.
Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked the story and saw more than just the white lady as a "lead" (she isn't). I don't know if the readers think I'm disrespectful for having a white character or if it's the absence of a black woman in the prologue, but I plan to continue writing and there will be plenty Of black women in the story. We do belong here and mainstream America is pretty much useless, but Jo is the mainstream America for Indigo and he needs to learn that sooner ones what you're taught isn't what you need.
Thank you again!!!Reviewer: Elizablu Signed [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 05:33 am
Not really feeling this one but nice effort I guess. It almost feels like you're tying to goad Chamber readers with your ethnically ambiguous cast in these one shots. We get enough beige in mainstream media. Good luck.
Lol I call out Indigo as Jewish, I made it clear that I decided for Joanna to be white and I mentioned that she is not the lead female. I don't know if I need to spoil the rest of the tale simply because someone who choses to remain anonymous doesn't know that a black woman is coming up. You didn't even review the make up of the story, just the surface value of inconsequential facts. This is not my problem though.
All in all thank you for your commentReviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 04:48 am
You are correct under the rules of chamber "Chamber is an archive site for fan fiction and original stories featuring women of color". There are many other places that do not so it is nice to have at least one place that is supposed too.
I can not comment on the story because I did not read it because of the cast.
Reading it is entirely up to you. Judging it based on the cast is also your choice. I'm not going to pretend like Scarlett Jo isn't white. I'm not going to apologize for it. I know that this is a safe haven for women of color, but I'm also aware that sometimes white men do fall in love with white women. We've seen it in movies and in books and everywhere. It's societal. It's what they're supposed to do. It's not right, but it happens.
I'm can't fault you for not reading and I can't get upset because you judge based on characters. I personally don't read stories featuring fair skinned black women because they're the standard and it's annoying that there are so many like that on here. Full of the same type of man and the same kind of black woman. It's so difficult to come across an original piece.
With that being said, the ultimate goal of Indigo's story is not about Joanna, it's about him and since most stories on here feature white men, I assume that this isn't a problem. So if Joanna is your hangup, that's totally understanable; but this isn't about her.
Thank you for your review.Reviewer: Chocolate1Lover Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 07 2014 09:14 am
I don't really understand what I just read. I wasn't going to because of the cast pics. Well good luck.
I can't relate there, I don't know what you're trying to say either. Is there something specific that needed clarifying or was it mainly the cast that confused you?Reviewer: Kaye2008 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 07 2014 09:09 am
Am I mistaken, or is this a website for stories with Women Of Color as the leads?
You might have been mistaken, especially with leaving such an anonymous message. I was under the assumption that this was a place for women of color to express themselves and considering that I am very black indeed......Just saying.
Currently the the only real lead is Indigo who is very white. Understandably I assume his whiteness doesn't bother you at all. I also am under the impression that you've assumed Joanna is white though I haven't given her a definitive race. Yet, if I put a very pale "black" girl up and gave her ringlets of curls and eyes like the sky you'd just think I was including all shades of black.
now that we've both incorporated our own assumptions., mistakes, and ignorances I'm happy to say that Joanna is not my female lead. Thank you for reading and have a good day.Reviewer: Guest Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 06 2014 08:14 pm
So good! More girl! I can it wait! I reallyove the voice you've given Indigo, intelligent witty and kind. We see he is a diamond to be discovered! Keep it coming.
I love Indigo! He's my inner cynicism. I have to admit that this is my least favorite stage in his life. Even I wish he was more self assured, but I hope it's coming!
Thank you you for taking your time to review!Reviewer: Aleta Signed [Report This]
Date: July 06 2014 04:38 pm