Reviews For Betrayal
Title: Chapter 1

WOW that authors note has completely ruined any positive feelings that I tried to have about you.

I thought ok she is new lets give this one more go and finally read about this story that she is supposed to be planning between the "main female lead" and the male lead but nope another stand alone.

You are new but attack the very people that are members and fans of this site people are taking the time to read this and you respond with such a disrespectful and misinformed generalizations but are writing stories about white women, not one dark black woman in sight but your so sad over their lack of representation but your lady of choice is as light as possible.....white. SMH

I may have to agree with another reviewer that said that you are a troll trying to cause drama because that was completely unnecessary as was this story in general if I am to be honest.

I'm done.

Reviewer: HermioneMalfoy08 Signed half-star [Report This]
Date: July 15 2014 05:38 am

Title: Chapter 1

This author is a troll. The note was very off putting and very combative. Why post two stories back to back with no WOC on this type of site? To cause problems and then act like the readers have the problem. If these are drabbles you put them together not separate them in a half ass attempt to get some attention from women who have ONE site that is supposed to be about there representation. GTFOOH!! These stories break the rules and most importantly are causing friction amongst the readers. There are other places to take this "expression".

Reviewer: WTF is this. Anonymous half-star [Report This]
Date: July 15 2014 05:22 am

Title: Chapter 1

Fool me once shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

I thought I would give you another try, I see now though that was in error.

Reviewer: Kaye2008 Signed half-star [Report This]
Date: July 14 2014 01:02 am

Title: Chapter 1

i just read both stories and i feel for indigo. I have one issue and i dont want to be rude about and i believe you were being unfair attack in the first story. However i think you were a little offended by the backlash you got and decided to lash back out just to piss more people off and you were sucessful. but that not my issue because people like to say one thing and do another. its just a human issue. my problem is that the end chapter not was just another snub at your haters and was not needed. if they did not like your story thats their problem and as a writer and a beginner writer at that you should not have to stoop to their level. it is YOUR story so YOU choose what happens and just keep it moving. forget the readers because if they were truly offended they would not have wasted time reading and then commenting. but side note i love the banner for this story. good luck with your writing and just so you know your story and the contrversey it has caused hasgiven me inspiraration for my next series. thanks and have a blessed day

Reviewer: Jadedbylifesavedbygrace Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 13 2014 08:44 pm

Title: Chapter 1

Nope. Scarlett is forever white as you painted her. She is perfect for the part in my head. I thought I was the only one disappointed in the fact that even among black women darker women were so often not represented but like you I tended to suck it up because a black woman is a black woman. I'll admit when I was reading the first story I frowned when I realised his lady love was white, mostly because I was confused as to whether it was an only interracial works site or if it could be whatever.

Still I'm glad I read it because the story is interesting and has depth. I wish I could write and have emotions come across clearly like you. This snippet was amazing. In the end I was horrified at how she hurt him and hoping he could hurt her similarly, which made me frown at myself. 

Anyway, I'm looking forward to your next installment.

Reviewer: Bajerie Signed [Report This]
Date: July 13 2014 04:08 am

Title: Chapter 1

Where exactly are the reviews you speak about? Those of people upset because your character is white? I'm assuming they aren't here because there is no such review on this story. Personally I'm not bothered by a white female main character but if anyone really did complain about it I'm not surprised and you have to see where they're coming from. There is a place for everything and this site is dedicated to women of color, who are awfully under-represented in mainstream literature. It just seems ill-fitting for you to write yet another story that feature a white woman (as if there weren't enough....) and publish it here.



Author's Response:

Yet another story? It's the same characters from the last story. I've already stated that I understand where the review are coming from. I'm sure that if you read the reviews for both stories that you read the replies as I've responded to all. 

Thank you and have a good day. 

Reviewer: Anon Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 10:15 pm

Title: Chapter 1

Sorry but that author's note was totally uncalled for. I honestly think you just intentionally wrote a bunch of stuff that would ensure you reviews, and I'm consciously indulging you...It's definitely not true that most stories here feature lighter-skinned heroines, it's actually quite the opposite. But let's assume that was true...you need to respect the author's choice because ultimately that's their story and if that choice bothers you then nobody is gonna make you read the story against your will...It is obvious you are one of those people who are stuck on this light/dark skin issue but, let me break it to you, not every black person is. As long as the story is good I really don't care what the heroine looks like. I'm more interested in the hero. Anyway, I understand you have an issue with the fact that lighter-skinned women are viewed as more beautiful. I get it. Colorism is real. It isn't just a black issue but also Asian and Latin. But it's only real because people like you make it so. You can't change other people's mindsets on beauty. Especially that of non-colored people. It is subjective and everyone is entitled to like what they like. Who are you to judge? (Unless they're downright racists of course, in which case feel free to judge....). Point is as long as you know that not all lighter-skinned women are automatically more beautiful than darker women, what's the problem? P.S. Non one was bothered by Scarlett...although it is weird that you would choose to share a story about a white woman on a site specifically dedicated to women of color.



Author's Response:

I read your review and I don't think you understood anything I've said. I made the note in response to reviews I've received not to receive reviews (I've only gotten 12, including yours, I don't think that's a number that screams give me attention). Anyway, you spoke if judgment and how wrong I am yet it seems like your comments were covered in them, so I'm not going to indulge. 

 

I respect all work but I recognize a trend and a subsequent problem, I never said that colorism wasn't global, we all know it is. If you're more concerned with the hero and not what shade the female lead is, why didn't you comment or review about Indigo when this is his story not the woman's? I'm not sharing a story about her, I'm sharing Indigos life. 

Reviewer: Giselle Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 05:19 pm

Title: Chapter 1

I did say I wouldnt read it just that I hadnt yet. It said it was a pt 2 so i needed to find part one first but i had to comment before I could do that. Now if you could see my tracked stories or my favorites you will find a slew of stories of deeper toned women. But then again it all depends on what is considered light and dark right? I also never said you held any hatred toward women of color ,but if there isnt some type of feeling there why dedicate a whole rant on it? any who I liked the story and I will read the rest if you decide to write it up. i have no problem with white black pink green or any color women as i said i just change them up if i feel emphases is placed on color. sooo heres a list:( from my tracked stories)

Sunlight By Elizablu

Broken Glass By Diamon

Mask by Idiotendeinial

Sunshine by Dannimitch

Me Carter You Jane by Anti Venom

The Maroon By Asis Schiegoh

Chance Encounter By Brenda1257

Vipers Bite By Knigh Phall

Blood and Wine by Shyangel

 Stero by Voices

 His Best Kept Secret by Katherine madison

 Teach me how to be loved by Hazelbazel92

I know a bunch but these are all i can think about right now. Again if u can see that on my page look and you will see. I like good stories no matter what color she is .. her just being a woman of color is enough for me .

( sorry for leaving a bunch of great stories off the list these just stuck out in my mind  There is one I cant remember , its about a girl that is taken in a raid by some soilder who over take the kingdom where she is living, she is raised by her grandmother  who dies, and is taken to live at his home , the servants wont let her in when she arrives and a bunch of stuff does anyone remember the name of that and who it was by I cant find it!)

 



Author's Response:

I've read all of those amazing stories. The last one you're talking about is Minerva Vsts's story called A Warriors Promise. It's my favorite story along with her Over The Hedge stories. Unfortunately she's taken them both down. 

 

I'm glad you liked the story thank you for taking the time to read it!  I would compile a list for you, but I'm on my phone. However if you like the idea of placing your features on a character read anything by Joelle Jax, she is an amazing writer who puts no major emphasis on skin and it's wonderful! 

Reviewer: RedMoon Signed [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 01:36 pm

Title: Chapter 1

Girl, you sure know how to cause controversy. From my understanding, your story will eventually feature an African-American female. But, this is a prequel before she is introduced so we understand where indigo ( cool name) is coming from relationship wise. I think it would not have been as controversial if you started in the present with her being introduced and then did a flashback. But, like I said it's your story so you do you and what feels right. Okay. I'm done.



Author's Response:

I didn't mean to cause controversy so no pat on the back for me lol. Thank you though for your understanding and you are right. At first I was going to do a flashback, but I made them drabbles instead. I will probably go back and add dates to them just to keep the in order (which I had never considered until unread your review). 

 

Thank you so much for reviewing! 

Reviewer: shadow Signed [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 12:42 pm

Title: Chapter 1

Thanks for responding to my comment.  Since you've taken the chance to make some things clear, I felt it only fair I do the same.  First, my issue wasn't with your choice of cast.  It could be all white for the entire story. I wouldn't feel at all offended.  It's your story and your perogative.  My issue was with you making it a point to make her white to see if it would be "a problem" (your words not mine) which says to me that you did it to get a reaction.  And when you got it, you took that opportunity climb on top of a soap box and point at the problems while using the solution to stir up controversy.  An easy fix that would have been just as impactful and better received was to respond to the people who questioned your choice of cast by saying you were aware of the rules and planned to abide by them and ensure that darker skinned black women were celebrated and given the shine they deserve but you feel has been denied.  You could have also thrown in your stance about what you feel is the over-representation of light skinned women in black ficition.  Others have and received support in their views. 

I don't read alot of stories on this site, but the ones I have and definitely the IR books I read are overwhelmingly about brown or dark skinned women.  I'm not, but have no problem reading about them or any woman I can relate to, whether it's because of race or a similiar occupation or belief system, etc, etc. 

I don't out and out disagree with your viewpoint.  I find fault with your approach.  Just like you have the right to share your feelings in this safe haven, I and other readers have a right to the feelings your words inspire in us. 



Author's Response:

I can understand where you're coming from, but I don't think I would have liked to do it that way. I am a naturally curious person and since I've been on or viewing this site before i became a member I've been considering this. It's also a very crucial part of Indigos story and as a writer to have that attacked bothered me. I don't think there's anything wrong with people being upset by her lack of melanin, but I was entirely cod conscious that with a few twists on words I could have made her acceptable by certain standards and it peeved me. i won't get in to that because that's my personal feelings (hence the vagueness). 

 

Despite te seemingly popular belief, I could care less about illiciting arguments or garnering reviews, but as I also stated I wanted voluntary answers and opinions about this issue and I'm extremely happy I got them. However, I feel terrible that I sacrificed a bit of integrity whereIndigo is concerned. Yet this is my first story here I'm just gonna keep learning. 

Reviewer: MiMI Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 12:37 pm

Title: Chapter 1

I haven't even read your story yet, just the authors notes and this is why. Since i have been on this site i have heard the same thing but what i read is totally different there seem to be a lot of stories on here where the lead is either deeper toned or heavy. I am neither. I am lighter toned and athletically built but does it stop me from reading no. I read them and I embody the characters . sometimes I do imagine myself instead of the character they have designed because i feel that I can connect better that way , but that is not often. I mean where are the lighter skin stories ??? Does it matter ? No ! this site is to up lift women of color to depict them in a positive light that we don't usually see.It may be the stories that you pick that give you that impression as well as the ones i choose but i would not change a thing about this site. This site is for us , by us and should be uplifted by us. If we cant do that.. then we are as they say and self hatred is truly ingrained deeply.



Author's Response:

My eyes are closing as I type this so I hate to make it brief but I'm sleepy and if I sleep on negative reviews I get miffed (unfortunately). I'm sorry that you haven't read the chapter yet, but that is totally you choice and I respect it. However, if you go to the top tens list, I'm sure you'll find enough of what you're looking for. If not I will happily compile a list of stories with lighter skinned women and email it to you, especially if you can pinpoint me in the direction of darker skinned stories, as I am in dire need of inspiration. 

However, as a reader I've never really imagined myself in place of a character of given her my personal skin predilections because I like to believe that the author had someone in mind and it's them I want to see. I want to peek into their world. However, I don't believe in keeping quiet about an issue that myself and others have seen. That doesn't make me hateful towards any black woman; it makes me cognizant. There is an obvious standard of beauty that I won't fail to point out, but I'm not saying they aren't beautiful. Yes, light skinned or fair skinned black women are considered more gorgeous than dark skinned women. It's the more that I'm concerned about not the beautiful. It is unanimous that we all think black women are gorgeous but the fact that it seems like half of us are better than the other half, it has to end and we need to talk about it because if we don't talk about within our safe havens how can we defend it when the time calls? 

 

Perhaps you don't agree and that's totally fine, it's not a big deal in having support in numbers for me, but in having an understanding. I understand you and I can only hope that you understand me. 

 

Thank you for your comments! Sorry I could go more in depth, I'm practically falling asleep as I type b

Reviewer: RedMoon Signed [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 12:02 pm

Title: Chapter 1

I have read your comments and have chosen not to read your story, I am I guess a woman of colour, however I am not African American or Native American. I like coming to this site because women of colour get to have their story, in the movies the heroine in the big blockbuster movies all look like scarlett and there are many stories that I have read here where the heroine is dark in colour, no signs of being bi-racial. I personally am tired of having to watch over and over again tiny white women with blond hair blue eyes, green eyes get the hero. there are a world full of dark coloured women who are amazing and on here you get to see them become the focus of the story. So no I will not be reading your story.



Author's Response:

Not reading, as I've stated is your choice. However, I believe you missed the entire point of my authors note. This story is t about the white lead female at all. She does not get the hero. Indigo is not a hero and she is not the damsel. She is the prologue not the epilogue. I never said there wasn't stories featuring dark women, I said that lighter skinned women have been the norm and I won't refute that. 

 

Thank you you for the review:) 

Reviewer: dounome Anonymous starstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 11:05 am

Title: Chapter 1

Sigh...I'm going to tell you what my mother always told me.  If you don't like the rules someone sets for their household then stay your ass at home.  Call it rude if you want.  But it's no more rude than provoking a community to prove a point you don't seem to be too clear on yourself (in one paragraph you're disappointed that some authors only feature light skinned women, then in the next you're not calling them out because that would be ridiculous, but wait, yes you are because darker women are not adequately represented, but then again your story has not one darker skinned woman or any woman of color).  So what is your point?

I was willing to give you the benerit of the doubt and do some self-reflection until I read your "I originally had every intention of making Joanna Latinx but I wanted to see if her being white would truly be a problem" line.  I'm all for starting and participating in healthy debates.  But coming onto a website that's supposed to be a safe haven for women of color and antagonize readers by posting a story with an all white cast (and no mention of color being added later) is counterproductive and distrespectful.  I don't know how you expected alienating both darked skinned and lighted skinned women by excluding them on a site dedicated to them would create anything but what it did.  Animosity.

I'm not going to discourage you from writing and posting your story.  But I'm not going to cheer you on and shake a finger at the people it rubs the wrong way either.  I would suggest you get clear on your stance and approach with caution.  Colorism is a very sensitive and serious issue in many ethnic communities, and it deserves more repect and care than you've shown it here.



Author's Response:

My point is very clear, it would be hypocritical if I was writing this story from Joanna's point of view, but as I mentioned in the note this isn't about her. She is truly a minor character, which seems hard to grasp. It's as if indigo should not have found love if she wasn't of color, but that's not how it happens and since this is his story I don't see a problem with her being white. She is not the main focus here. Indifo is and since this site highlights interracial romance, I don't see why that's an issuer. You have no idea if there's a woman if color or not in his future because this is the prologue. However, I felt it adequate to assume there is simply because I am aware of the Chamber rules. 

 

Now, ow, to address this colorism debacle. One, it is a disappointment that there isn't adequate representation if all shades of black anywhere. I'm not going to pretend like I hate light skinned women just to solidify a point with you. I'm not calling them out because it's their artistic vision and it would be ridiculous to shame a story I didn't write. However, my disappointment stems from a readers prospective. If I have to read "caramel" one more time I might have to stop eating the candy. It's not that they don't exist, it's just that other shades of women happen to populate the earth and I'd like to read about gem a little more. 

 

I mentioned that there would a member off color and that this was Joanna's last major appearance.

the point of a safe haven is that you can express what you feel.. Now as a black woman I didn't know that only pertained to my feelings about black women. If you would like for me to pretend that white women don't exist in a white mans love spectrum, I can't do that just like I won't pretend that black men don't exist to black women in a positive light. 

You don't have to do either, it's is not my jntention to offend but when dealing with a sensitive subject what do you expect, but my story is my home and as you mentioned before I'll be staying my ass there. Indigo and his tale has gotten me through very tough times and I can't abandon him just because his first love was white. That's not fair to the amazing woman he's going to meet in the future. 

 

Thank you for your time. 

Reviewer: MiMI Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 10:30 am

Title: Chapter 1

SleepEasy. Girl just do your thang. If that's what the story is then that's what the story is. This is a site where you can share and have people read your stuff. So either they'll chose to read or not but you shared. Anyway, can I just say. Black woman in comics do exist. They are usually protrayed as strong, intelligent, kick ass type of women: everyone knows Storm, Michonne from the Walkind Dead, Saga: Gwen and Alana, Y The Last man: Agent 355, DC's Amanda Waller, Cecilia Reyes, Deadpool Agent Preston. Although the representation might not be big they still exist.



Author's Response:

Thank you for your kind words! I was downtrodden at first because I didn't expect much backlash (and I haven't gotten much, but what has been said was heartfelt and I appreciate that). We all have things we refuse to read about (like I get all ruffled about rape) but I never let my personal emotions get in the way of constructive criticism. It's all a learning experience. 

 

There are black women in comics and they are wonderfully made, but much too few for my liking. Women of color in general are hard to come by. I admit they are there, sorry if I made ispt seem contrary! 

Reviewer: shadow Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 06:40 am

Title: Chapter 1

Ok, so I haven't read the story yet. I checked your comments and I saw your very long Authors Note....

First off, let me say...I love me some Scarlett- she's my Bitch! 

And yes even on this site, there is an increasing number of female leads (light skinned, light eyes, "good hair" and blasee-blasee). In my cast pics, my women run the gamut between fair skinned and dark. I get your frustration on that subject. I do. I was like that, so I started writing my stories and the lead women became How I envisioned them to be. So in other words- do you.

Now, I'm going to lurk back in the shadows and read this bitty and give you a proper review.  



Author's Response:

You are one of the main reasons I joined this site because I truly adore all of your stories. Every single intricate tale that you weave. It's so rare that a reader is able to come across a writer so talented and I am grateful. 

fangirl moment over

I love Scarlett Jo as well. We all liked Black Widow in the Avengers! That's why inchose her. 

 

There red has been a surplus if leads who look just like this and it's frustrating because when you point it out, it's considered slander when you're really just trying to represent and take up for a minority. 

 

However in regards to the story, I hate that I find myself consistently trying to defend poor Indifo who no one seems to care about even though this is his story, but thus is the story of his life lol 

Reviewer: Elizablu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 05:49 am

Title: Chapter 1

I see what you're trying to do, playing devil's advocate (the chapter end notes were the nail in the coffin for me -__- lol) and in all your radicalism, I understand where you're coming from.

These one shots may or may not lead up to one featuring Indigo & a WOC, but NONE of the characters are POC..... isn't it a bit counterproductive to have a story featuring solely white people instead of writing a story feauturing the hero/ines you long to see?

 



Author's Response:

Thank you for your understanding. You pose a very good question. Another person commented  on counter productivity, but all I can say is that Scarlett/Joanna is the not the main character of this story. There are people of color and this was just introductory. I wouldn't be as crass as to come to a site for women of color then not write about them. Trust me Jo is no heroine. 

thank you for the review! 

Reviewer: bhvana Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 05:40 am

Title: Chapter 1

Okay. So, I do see where readers are coming from because this site is supposed to ‘celebrate women of colour.' BUT as you've stated, your female character IS white but she ISN'T the main character. I see absolutely nothing wrong with your cast and I can honestly say that I enjoyed both of your one-shots as they both served their purpose as a peek inside Indigo's life and the experiences that shaped him into the person he is going to become.

 I definitely find it crazy how so many readers attacked you because of your female character! I mean, you didn't read the stories because you couldn't relate to the female character? Because she wasn't black? I don't know, maybe it's just me, but if you can't relate to a character and reject her because she's white, how could you relate to EVERY single black female character in the stories on here? Because they're black and that's all the matters? Because white females can't go through similar experiences and situations as a black female? Because it's really not worth your time unless the white male lead is falling in love with a black female lead, and you really don't care about his past relationships and how they may have shaped him into the person he will become with that said black female lead? I really just don't get it, but I think that's more because of my own experiences and how I was raised.

I grew up reading solely teen fiction--even at twenty-three, it's still my go to genre because romance doesn't really do anything for me personally--which mainly consisted of books written by white authours with an all white cast. Never once did I ever feel out of place or unable to relate to the characters simply because they were white. The characters being white had absolutely nothing to do with my ability to connect to those characters or to the story, nor did it limit by ability to identify myself with those ‘white' characters. I was and still am a plot driven reader. If you have a good plot, chances are I'll enjoy the read.

     It's sad that on this site, some black females will only ever ‘deal with' a white female character if she's creating drama and making the black female lead look like an angel plucked off of a cloud in heaven by God himself. I can't tell you how many stories I've stopped reading because of that reason. It's equally sad that these same readers would reject a white female that isn't even the main character, but have no qualms with stories featuring black female leads with ‘white' physical traits.

Okay. Rant over. Again, I enjoyed both of your one shots, SleepEasy, and I only hope that you will continue to tell YOUR stories the way that YOU see fit.



Author's Response:

I agree with you 100% on everything you've said. It was an amazing review and I thank you for it! I'm happy you understand that Jo isn't the main character and you've given time to Indigo to actually pay attention to him as he is so easily forgotten. I did not think a white female in the cast would be a big deal and I think it's more of an absence of the black lead that is causing such disruption but that is for me to decide. I was truly curious to see how a crowd would react to Jo as a nice white girl giving this nerdy white guy a chance at first love, but honestly what was important was that she's who Indigo fell in love with, who he was taught to love. 

Thank you for your review and being so incredible!!! 

Reviewer: Twelve20One Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 05:08 am

Title: Chapter 1

So I see you haven't had many reviews so far, so I thought I would share my thoughts.  The story in and of itself is good.  The dialogue and descriptions made me feel that I was there.  As far as the debate of the character and her look, I don't know what to say.  Yes at first it was off putting as an initial knee jerk, gut reaction and I am honestly also tired of the same look for the black female leads and would love diversity.  Being an older woman, when I grew up all of the romance books featured white women and their Princes etc.  That is mostly what I read.  Really until Eric Jerome Dickey took off did having Black Female leads become mainstream even though I didn't like the books so much.  I love this site for having black female leads.  I don't know if that is wrong to have that expectation or not but what I did take from your first 2 chapters is that this is Indigo's learning curve about women, what he wants in a relationship etc and this is a clear insight into the woman who will shape his future relationships with women regardless of their color.  Most of us had that one relationship that helped define what we did or don't want and this is his.  Again the writing was good and enjoyed the story.   You are not hurting us and maybe this will have us asking ourselves to look in the mirror and reflect on what we see and do.   Continue writing the story as you see fit and I will read any additional chapters.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you are the first review, it will probably be the review that grounds me as we continue. You are a absolutely right about everything. Eric Jerome Dickey was actually the first writer that introduced me to women of color in fiction as a little girl I would sneak and read his books even though I was too little to.

youve gotten Indigo all figured out. I too was upset at seeing Joanna at first, but as I wrote I began to understand that she is as much of a part if his learning in love as the woman that will be his future. 

 

Thank you so much, I'm eternally grateful for your kind words of support, they brought tears to my eyes and made me so happy,.

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 12 2014 03:58 am



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