Reviews For The Big Kahuna
Title: Fat Chance

I'm loving the new post and even better are your own notes at the end (which I love even more, LOL). Please post again soon I can't wait, oh and I have one more to add to the list again. It's Beyonce and Jay-Z's business. I am SICK of the continuous media obession with those two. Can they find something else more important to talk about, really? SMH, I am sooo over it already. LMAO!

Great Job, please keep going. I can't to see how the first meeting goes :D



Author's Response:

LOL I'm considering working on Chapter 3 tonight, but I know it won't be up. I'm so tired! I'm also tired of the Bey and Jay news. Even though I am a faithful member of the Beyhive, I hate celebrity media obsession. Like, I know they're famous and talented...but this war between Israel and Palestine though....

I think as a generation we need to get our priorities right, I don't care about Kim K and Adrienne Bailon...tell me something that will uplift and better me. Otherwise, let's not talk about it!

Reviewer: sweetlooking218 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 05 2014 07:17 am

Title: Fat Chance

I love avocados , there are the best! Maybe the ones that you are eating arn't ripe enough.



Author's Response:

You're probably right, I had to google how they look ripe. It was sad. I'm a really picky eater though and I think that plays a large role in it. I've learned that if I put it in tuna fish salad I don't mind it as much. 

Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 05 2014 07:04 am

Title: Gym Rat

I love it just don't make her a cliché fat girl sad sack with horrible baggage like all other IR stories



Author's Response:

"cliché fat girl sad sack with horrible baggage" those are some pretty powerful descriptions. Although those types of stories do get redundant, there is one that fits this description on this site that I really like. It's called Ungaurded and it's amazingly written. The author does it in a way that relates to your deepest insecurities while also frustrating the heck out of you to the point of having to read the story like 7 times before praying she updates soon. 

 

Thank you for your review!

Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 04 2014 09:20 pm

Title: Cast

I know it's the first chapter and all,but I have to say that I'm already in love with this story! I love the approach you took on it. Please keep them coming! 



Author's Response:

Thank you lwxie I'm glad you've fallen in love with this tale! I love it so much as well it's literally the first story I've written that doesn't stress me out. I'll try to be consistent with the quality of work thanks!!!!!

Reviewer: lwxie Signed [Report This]
Date: August 01 2014 05:06 pm

Title: Cast

Love the story and the length of the chapters. Keep the chapters coming. 



Author's Response:

Thank you karmal!!!!

Reviewer: karmal Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 01 2014 01:30 pm

Title: Cast

Great story!  Really impressed w/the emotional lives and backstory you blended into the narrative so seemlessly.



Author's Response:

Whenever I'm reading, I always find myself more invested in stories like Beast that weave the past and present with such fluidity that you're left wondering if you were in the story! So I try to embody that approach even if the genre is totally different. Thank you for noticing willieriley it means a lot to me that it came across to a reader!

Reviewer: willieriley Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 01 2014 04:25 am

Title: Gym Rat

Some body got it bad. I wonder if he ever going to make a move? 



Author's Response:

He has it so bad my friend! I love the crush-ness of it all. He's gonna make a move and be his own worse enemy. Our boy has a long way to go. 

Reviewer: wwefanforlife Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 01 2014 02:59 am

Title: Cast

Yes that man super hot.



Author's Response:

Ain't he though? *fans self* 

Reviewer: wwefanforlife Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 01 2014 01:38 am

Title: Gym Rat

1st: Length, I like the length of the chapter, but if you do add more words...make them meaningful and not just filler. Also, no more than 500 additional words.

2nd: I like the story concept, physically fit man, plus size woman. I see all kinds if drama in the future of that relationship. (strangers, family, friends) etc.

3rd: Just let the story unfold, don't rush...no matter what! You control the pace and not us readers...Don't let us rush you, because we will!

4th: Ryan Gosseling? I guess he is ok....but George Clooney is my type of man!

5th: I still think Jill Scott would be a good leading lady!



Author's Response:

1: I can do that!

2: The drama and romance are the best parts of this couple! I can't wait to see how they respond:)

3: As I was planning the rest of the story over the weekend, I kept this in mind and it inspired me to change up the direction of the story just a bit and I'm excited for it. Thank you KittyOh48!

4: George Clooney is so classy, he's ideal!

5: Jill Scott would probably fit any role, but I wanted to use someone who wasn't well known. Jill is beautiful though, talk about somebody who I admire! She is unreal. 

Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: August 01 2014 01:03 am

Title: Gym Rat

I swear to God, I'm tracking this story just so i can read the authour's notes! AHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHA You're hilarious! 
This chapter was great and the chapter length is perfect for me! Love where it's going! 



Author's Response:

Thank you chatty504! I'm glad you think I'm so funny *ego boost*. I feel that the length could be longer then I think of that skimming and I just can't bring myself to make them over 3,000 words!!! 

 

 

Reviewer: chatty504 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 02:05 pm

Title: Gym Rat

Me likey! More please.

Author's Response:

baha_malo, I love your stories--like love them. I went to check your page and I didn't see any more stories, but I know I've read them. You can't forget a name like yours its too pretty. You are amazing. Thank you for gracing my reviews. I'm humbled. 

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 05:25 am

Title: Gym Rat

Love the casting and the story.keep going.



Author's Response:

Thanks Acdromance! 

Reviewer: Acdromance Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 04:01 am

Title: Gym Rat

Good reading!! I really enjoyed it and the way this chapter flowed was stupendous. 



Author's Response:

Thank you Lady Siren! I'm glad it had a good flow, I struggle with tying together a story while making it enjoyable and I'm happy it paid off;)

Reviewer: Lady Siren Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 03:23 am

Title: Gym Rat

Lol. I love end statements.   I enjoyed the beginning please update soon



Author's Response:

I updated! Thank you Breadreaway I'm glad you enjoy it!

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 03:23 am

Title: Gym Rat

OMG! why I joined the gym TODAY! Oh u really have a fan now! The length of the story is good. Camille is sooooooooo me but wat I saw in the gym today...trust...There were no Jason Momoa. ...Overall loved it m can't wait 2 see wats next. 



Author's Response:

Congrats on you!! Joining a gym is stressful especially since everyone there looks so sure of their workout and I'm always the weirdo trying to figure out how to stop the treadmill! I'm glad you're being proactive especially when spotting women who go to the gym for potential mates!!!!

 

Reviewer: AD Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 02:52 am

Title: Cast

Honey you had me at the lead man, Jason Momoa... I'm reading it!



Author's Response:

Haha thanks AD! It took me a minute to decide who I wanted and it was by the grace of God that I thought him. Best decision I've made all summer. 

Reviewer: AD Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 02:39 am

Title: Cast

Sexy ass man! I think Jill Scott would be perfect opposite him. That big girl can REPRESENT!!!!



Author's Response:

I think Jill Scott would have been a perfect choice, but I love the lady I picked and I'm already so invested in her! Jill is fantastic though, she might have to make an appearance just out of respect!

Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 02:10 am

Title: Cast

Lmao!! Kermit sips!! Love it, keep writing!



Author's Response:

Haha I'm so done with these Kermit memes! It's priceless!

Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 01:21 am

Title: Gym Rat

Lol, loved the start. I think its great that you didn't make her perfect. Or dark skin with gray eyes, that always kills me. Why must so many writers feel that dark eyes and a brown complexion is not attractive. That they have to make the woman have gray, hazel or green eyes. :-(

Author's Response:

No! I don't want her perfect either! I hate reading that in stories or I'll see that in chapter one the woman is "mocha" with "hazel orbs" then in chapter seven she's suddenly "caramel" and I'm like...whoa there! What happened!!

It's not that I hate reading about women who are dark with light eyes or light skinned with light eyes, however it gets old fast. Most black women have dark eyes (at least) and there are a lot of dark ones too...I prefer to read about them (because it's how I look). I like to see all kinds of black women be portrayed as confident and beautiful! 

 

Thank you lilsunseeker for your review and I'm glad we're on similar character wave lengths!

Reviewer: lilsunseeker Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 12:58 am

Title: Gym Rat

Girl, you got me! I can't wait to see how this story develops and you need to pass along those instagram names..Hahaha! Great start. 



Author's Response:

Thank you brown_mocha! I've spent the whole week mentally catalouging the development of this story and lemme just say I'm excited too! I've been wanting to read a story like this for a while now!


I'll be sure to post those names in chapter 3 after I do some digging!

Reviewer: brown_mocha Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 12:31 am

Title: Gym Rat

I totally understand how difficult it is for plus sized women. But sometimes its also very hard to feel sorry or rather understand where they are coming from if they too constantly keep degrading and insulting skinny women as if its there fault that society thinks that skinny is the way to be. People get made fun of for being thin but if you make fun of a fat chick then your a bad person. I as a very petite woman myself sometimes does get offended reading all the name calling of skinny woman. For some reason they are called stupid, anorexic, chicken legs, just to name a few. Hell I have been bullied and called a lots of names just because I'm thin. So the only thing that bothers me is the double standard. Plus sized or thick woman can make fun of a thin woman all she wants, saying how bigger is better and how thin women need to eat more, but when it comes to a thin woman making fun or even talking about thick women, all hell breaks loose.

 

Some thick/plus sized woman are so caught up and think that the world is against them just because they are heavy weight. They get  angry and has nasty attitude towards other skinny woman or the ones they consider to be "perfect. Also, the angry ones miss the boat on the fact that guys like them in all sizes and especially seem to like ladies with back and front, so why are they complaining???? 

I honestly don't think that society thinks that just because you are plus sized you don't deserve a hot guy with a hot body or what ever. Like seriously, who cares. Everything has to do with accepting yourself, your self esteem and live your life for you instead of worrying what other people thinks of you and your weight. Its about being healthy and happy. 

I'm thin, I like my size, and I feel that all women should like and embrace their size.



Author's Response:

I truly believe that jelousy and animosity on behalf of the plus sized women is the root of their disdain and I totally agree that it is wrong. I've seen it countless times in my family when they would pick at a skinny cousin or something not realizing that just like bigger people have slower metabolism, thin people have really fast metabolism. I would love it if the emphasis was put on healthy, but that might be asking too much. 

One thing to remember and I tried to convey it through Camille's thoughts, that even as she was picking at the women, she made it clear that there is an obvious difference between thin and sick. Anorexia is a disease and acting out is one way I've personally seen it rear it's ugly head. It wasn't meant to offend, but I didn't want to shy away from the difference. 

It is hard being heavy in a sense that if they are thick in all the "right places" it leaves room for fetishization. Men would love to have sex with them and see if the hype is real, but in public they're looked down upon. Also, as in my case, I have very large boobs, but hardly any butt and it's an inadequate feeling. Not having a large butt makes me feel like a failure of a black woman and I get made fun of plenty for it. 

I have to disagree about the society-thing however, it is shown in media and propoganda that being attractive, thin, and fit is the way to find true happiness, a loving mate, and a good life. If you watch TV the characters are usually thin. In movies the women are small and the men have six packs. If there is an overweight person as a main character, it is either a comedy or a drama in which weight it the focus or a journey for the character to lose weight. Comedians make fun of fat peole, there are so many weightloss pills and concoctions that are honestly ridiculous--but you're right in the aspect of acceptance.

If overweight people (and even thin people) could learn to accept and love their bodies it would shut down billion dollar industries and change the entire world. It is not as easy as it sounds, but it is something to work for. I refuse to have my children or any child grow up thinking that their body is bad becasue it's different. We are all beautiful whether the world can accept it or not. 

 

Thank you for such an provoking and detailed review. You raised so many good points that I have to file away for future refernce in this tale. I'm so glad you took your time to leave this message and it has inspired to continue this journey!!

Reviewer: Melissa Anonymous [Report This]
Date: July 31 2014 12:26 am

Title: Gym Rat

I like it.  Just saw the crossfit 2014 competitions over the past wknd and these girls are strong and the men are hot.  Which one is married to a black girl?  Wonder if he was in the competition.  Was actually thinking about getting into that myself next year maybe.  The length felt good.  It wasn't too much.  I like the fact you are also including how we can stereotype others who are in "shape" according to society.  You choose for you what you want and there is guaranteed someone out there who will bite.  Confidence is the key but it is also the hardest to obtain.  Good job.



Author's Response:

I've never watched the competition, but I think I've seen pictures. I know that the man who is married to a black woman (i think his instagram name is motivation88 or something) has a youtube channel with his wife and thats how I found them! You should totally compete and let us all know your progress it's such an amazing journey that takes a great amount of dedication and physical/mental determination. I think it's awesome! Go for it:)

 

I've always felt that in the stories I read we kind of place fit people on a pedestal and they're sort of kept there while heavier individuals have to climb mountains to sort of deserve them, I didn't want that for Ryan and Camille, but they still have their own personal biases to get over in the end. 

 

Thank you lajack1. I don't know how you fit such a wonderful review in such a condensed space, but it literally made me feel like poking my chest and wagging my tail in pride!

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 30 2014 11:51 pm

Title: Gym Rat

I love the story. I hope he decides to tell her soon instead of admiring her from afar. She is too funny. Keep going but the pic of the cast I. A little confused. She is thick not plus sized not that it matters.



Author's Response:

Thank you Acdromance for your review. I hope Ryan puts himself out of his misery soon too. I mentioned in the end notes that it was really hard finding overweight black women, but I do think she's plus sized--at least by my size standards. Thick to me are women like Bria Myles or Amber Rose who have these super flat stomachs, but butts and boobs that are out of this world. I tried to find a woman who was soft in the middle, but you can surely imagine that she's bigger! 

Reviewer: Acdromance Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: July 30 2014 11:47 pm

Title: Gym Rat

LOL!!! I love the list by the way and I would like to add to the list of not being able to lose 10 lbs., no matter how many low fat and walks I take each day. 

I really like this story and I can't wait to see what happends. Please post soon. Great Job :D



Author's Response:

Yes sweetlooking218! I've been trying to lose 10 lbs since I was 10! It's nearly impossible to get started on a weightloss journey even if it's not a real major change. I admire these women out here who do it everyday!!! Thank you for the review and I'm ecstatic that you like it! 

Reviewer: sweetlooking218 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 30 2014 10:20 pm

Title: Gym Rat

Yeah so umm... this is really becoming my favorite story. As a plus sized woman I absolutely agree with you. I think that you're gonna be my best friend in my head.



Author's Response:

Awwww!!! I'm plus sized as well and I've been dying to read a story where the woman can delight in her weight, but still house some natural insecurities--but they were so few and far in between that I just had to go on and make one! I'm glad I'm not alone in this!

 

I'm grateful that you're counting me amongst your favs Khamalani and I love your name! May I use it for the city that Ryan is from? 

Reviewer: Khamalani Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 30 2014 10:04 pm



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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.