Reviews For Trust - Revision
Title: Coincidence

Hey, I like this. It seems different and intriguing. So far all good with the characters and setting of the story.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]
Date: August 03 2016 07:03 am

Title: Coincidence

I turely like your story. I have not read the original. However, this version is a little too overlong with too many unnecessary chapters, many of which could be condensed and still give the background information you are aming for.

We are up to 24 chapters with about five plots with no incling where any of them are going. The odssessive cop has been completely forgotten and its too much about bitchy, conniving women. Let's get back to the suspense and at least solve one plot bunny.

As I said at the beginning I love this story. I just want it to get better and to move a little better. You have everything set up but need closer on some points. It just seems the story is dragging.

Please take what I said with love. I reread what I just wrote and it does sound overly critical but its not meant to be. I am the not a writer and am not very good at being discrete with words. Be assured I love you and your story.

Reviewer: Marilyn Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 10 2016 11:13 am

Title: Coincidence

A snake that just....wrong mr.man

Reviewer: LetMeDream Signed [Report This]
Date: February 26 2015 12:36 pm

Title: Coincidence

Okay, so I read this on here before it was good then and now...it does feel a little different but sounds pretty much the same. Good luck with the re write.

Reviewer: lilsunseeker Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 10 2014 02:31 am

Title: Coincidence

I like it. Just the right touch of mystery to keep me going to the next chapter. One thing niggling at me. If she's strapped for cash and working in a seedy dive, why did she turn down the cash her friend was offering to cover for her? Maybe they could've split it, or did Rhonda need it more? That stuck out. Other than that, good stuff. Your writing has a very cinematic feel... Very descriptive. Good stuff.

Reviewer: bookbutterfly Signed [Report This]
Date: September 30 2014 10:16 pm

Title: Coincidence

I really like this story. And I live the fact that she rides a bike that is my favorite color!

Reviewer: Dreamingofalifetime Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 07:16 pm

Title: Coincidence

I dont remember this one.  So far I like what you have done.  Continue.  I am remembering your other story spiral.  LOved it.  So I know this will be great as well.

Reviewer: Cherry Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 04:23 am

Title: Coincidence

Interesting start! More please.

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 02:19 am

Title: Coincidence

Vaguely remember this story, I like the beginnig.

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 01:51 am

Title: Coincidence

I don't blame Sally I am terrified of snakes as well.  I wouldn't do anither facor for Rhonda ever again in life,  shw could have called Storm and told him that another maid was covering for her. Who was the slut puppy that Storm's sister was referring to?  Who is Paul? Is Sally married to Paul or is hw hwr brother maybe best friend?  More please! !

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 01:36 am

Title: Coincidence

CF, so glad to see you back. You might want to consider making this a members only story. Just a thought.

Looking forward to future updates, Chica.

Reviewer: BellaChica Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: September 22 2014 12:19 am



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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.