Thank you for updating!! Storm now knows which Sally is, but there is another name used in an earlier chapter. I think the name was Lily, how many names does Sally have? Why would the DEA involved with a no-drug related murder case of a Caribbean investment broken?Reviewer: Pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 13 2017 05:50 am
Please don't stay away so long. Update soon.Reviewer: connie Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 23 2017 08:29 am
i liked that ending, very cool and domineering.Reviewer: Swirly_girl Anonymous [Report This]
Date: August 04 2016 09:06 am
When I pick a story to read on Valentchamber, word count is like last on my list. I look at the summary (is it interesting, unique or ru of the mill tale, does the plot or situation make sense, or is it a run away train of this and that).
Forgive my clichés... But, in a nut shell I prefer quality over quantity. There are some short stories on here that are great reads and long-ass stories that make me skip paragraphs or even worse, quit the tale midway.
just write your stuff, heck people still follow the story, so obviously it's good, ya got me hooked...lolReviewer: Swirly_girl Anonymous [Report This]
Date: August 04 2016 08:23 am
I understand you want to keep us in the dark for twists and turns. I don't have a problem with that. I like a good mystery.
Your writing is good, but the or your tone/mood is not smooth, I mean your phrases, comments, and reactions sometimes sound forced. And for readers, you could put thoughts in italics or in apostrophes or single quotes like some writers.Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]
Date: August 04 2016 02:55 am
Storm makes me sick. If it were any other man I would say yes he has a very good point. Some man spedning the night with his girlfriend that he does not know. But, as Storm said he slept with several women when Sally was pissed at him. Now he looses his shit because Mitch spends the night? Sally is right he probably cannot spend the night with a woman without having sex with her and automatically assumes Sally could not do the same.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: April 26 2016 05:26 pm
Sally makes my teeth itch!! I am tired of wishy wash tail, why get into a relationship wtih Storm if she doesn't plan on staying in it. I understand that she has had a hard life but Storm didn't do any of those bad things to her.Reviewer: pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]
Date: April 26 2016 02:47 am
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVEReviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: April 25 2016 05:24 pm
Waiting on an update!!!!Reviewer: Casey Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 12 2016 11:05 pm
I turely like your story. I have not read the original. However, this version is a little too overlong with too many unnecessary chapters, many of which could be condensed and still give the background information you are aming for.
We are up to 24 chapters with about five plots with no incling where any of them are going. The odssessive cop has been completely forgotten and its too much about bitchy, conniving women. Let's get back to the suspense and at least solve one plot bunny.
As I said at the beginning I love this story. I just want it to get better and to move a little better. You have everything set up but need closer on some points. It just seems the story is dragging.
Please take what I said with love. I reread what I just wrote and it does sound overly critical but its not meant to be. I am the not a writer and am not very good at being discrete with words. Be assured I love you and your story.Reviewer: Marilyn Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 10 2016 11:13 am
Sally is a piece of work.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 23 2016 03:30 pm
What time jumps? I don't recall reading any time jumps, hell I don't remember there being any flashbacks. This is your story so tell it how you want!!Reviewer: Pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 23 2016 02:22 pm
Sally works my last nerve, Storm has never treated her like a possession although he is possessive. i don't recall him even raising his voice at her in anger. Sally does frustrate him, she is always finding excuses to push him away. Sally, for somone so smart you are dumb as hell!! To beleive Jessica who was jealous over what you know to he true of Storm is stupid!! Sally doesn't deserve Storm's love she is an emotionally scarred child in a grown woman's body. Team Storm!! Can't stand Sally!!Reviewer: Pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]
Date: January 23 2016 02:15 pm