Reviews For Dangerous Descent
Title: Chapter 9

Amazing writing!!!!!

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 01 2015 01:02 am

Title: Chapter 9

Interesting update! She needs to get it together and ease up on the cocaine snotting! Hope that after all she does they obtain whatever evidence they need. That is too much sacrifice for the job. Hope she gets some kind of compensation from all that she has endured. She's in a messed up situation.

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 01 2015 12:31 am

Title: Cast Pics

I do like the premise of this book and though the subject matter is tough (which is quite brave) it' has excellent potential. I just hope this potential doesn't get lost in events that could threaten to make the story hard to believe. Nina is not yet an addict...will the mission end or will she be pulled before she becomes mired in addiction. I can see the mission ending before Nina succumbs completely to coke, but will she hide her pain with drugs after the mission ends? Maybe she can complete the mission successfully as an addict (she's not one yet, I don't think)...here's the potential I see in a really good writer that can have an addict successfully complete such a demanding and sensitive mission. I'm along for the ride to see if it happens. And maybe the real story is bringing her back from the Dangerous Descent?

Reviewer: jahchannah Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 30 2015 11:44 pm

Title: Chapter 9

Now this chapter made more sense...Maxim's acknowledged Nina getting too high on cocaine as a detriment to the mission...to be honest, I don't see how an agent high on cocaine is even trusted even without being an addict because just being high a person would tend to let their guard down...it's the reason many such drugs are controlled substances to be administered by licensed professionals...cocaine was once used as a powerful anesthetic, so it's potential to compromise the thinking of any person under it's control is high...so an agent using cocaine is clearly not at his or her best...If Nina or any agent for that matter gets hooked, how can the mission not be compromised as an addict will tend to do whatever is needed to score the next fix...since the mission is key it makes sense that an agent would either be pulled or sacrificed before the mission is compromised...otherwise the story becomes hard to believe

Reviewer: jahchannah Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 30 2015 03:22 pm

Title: Chapter 8

How can these agents do their job when they're wasted?  Makes no sense to me at all...I definitely want to see how they get out of this.

Reviewer: jahchannah Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 19 2015 03:03 pm

Title: Chapter 8

I wish the chapters were longer, but your writing is amazing!

Reviewer: Wideyedreamer Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 19 2015 06:36 am

Title: Chapter 8

Brillant writing!!!!

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 19 2015 06:08 am

Title: Chapter 7

Nina does not seem like a very strong agent mentally. The first day she is using cocaine??? It doesn't make sense. How is she going to get info on Yuri if he sells her to some? She knows Yuri is a ruthless killer and into human trafficking yet she antagonizes him at every turn? It makes no sense. She is not acting like the single young woman with no family ties that she is supposed to be. She is acting like an undercover agent who knows that the agency can come to her rescue if things get really bad. Yuri is so used to having control on his empire. I would have like to see Nina take control and totally own him!

Reviewer: SweetCoCo76 Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 06 2015 03:19 pm

Title: Chapter 7

Interesting update! She is definitely going down the path of self destruction with the cocaine use. I fear how she will cope when she's done with this undercover role.

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 05 2015 11:31 pm

Title: Chapter 7

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bad story at all, but I'm having a hard time processing somethings.

For example, the overuse of rape and lack suspense building up to it. I understand this a darkfic and rape is definitely in the warning, but this is over excessive until the point I - as a reader - already can predict what's coming next and am already numb to it. It lost its shock value after the first time, seeing we now know that whenever Nina's in Yuri's presence, it's gonna' happen to her.

And there also the lack of buildup and suspense. The suspense is nearly nonexistent, and it doesn't do this story any favors. There's too much reassurance for what's going to come next. For example, We always know that Maxim is goong to see her and comfort her. We always know that he'll be there quickly at some point in the chapter to keep her as safe as she can be without blowing the cover. How about we get rid of that safe guard? Leave her truly alone without knowing if he'll he be there for a couple of a weeks; it's harder to break someone when you have someone around.

The same can be said for a lot of things in this story - there's just an overall lack of buildup, and it REALLY hurts this story since it has so much potential to be awesome.

I also have a problem with the characters - they're 2 dimensional. We know little to nothing about their personalities at all, and it's hard to really feel for them if we haven't emotionally invested in them. So far, the characterization can be summed up as: the Sad Spy, the Helpful Spy and the Bad Guy. There's a lot of oppritunities to give them actual character development, too.

Nina: keep her out of Yuri's presence long enough to interact emotionally with the other girl's in human trafficking. Let her have emotional moments with them, let them share their stories and try to comfort each other. The way Nina responds to this would be great for us to understand a facet of her personality.

Yuri: I think his character is the flattest out of all of them, and it's a shame. We need to see him be an actual boss of a human trafficking business instead almost doing nothing else and spending his time raping Nina. We barely see him doing actual business or taking out his enemies. We don't see a him being a sick fuck by giving people twisted ultimatums for money advancements, or whatever a guy in his position should do. Because right now, he's just a rapist - and while that's vile, that puts him at the same tier as some dickhead frat boy at a party.

Maxim: We constantly see Nina getting broken, but Maxim almost seems completely fine. Give him a moment of vulnerability where he almost breaks his cover because he sees something so terrible he has a moral quandary. Have him doubt the agency more, or share a heart to heart with Nina about how he feels about doing all the shit he did for the mission.

Like I said before, this can make for a fantastic story, but their are some roadblocks.

  - eru

Reviewer: erubescet Signed [Report This]
Date: June 05 2015 01:36 pm

Title: Chapter 7

She's going to become an addict. Of what use is she then to the agency? They're going to trust her once she becomes an addict who then is only loyal to the highest bidder? I want to see if/how Nina gets out of this. I wonder that  she would have mad hatred for the agency once she was done.  Intensely good story.

Reviewer: jahchannah Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 04 2015 04:50 am

Title: Chapter 6

Wow! She endured all that for her job!! There better be some major compensation as no job is worth being violated! Hope she survives this job without be coming a drug addict!!

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 11:47 pm

Title: Chapter 6

Great update.

Reviewer: jomoli Signed [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 08:29 pm

Title: Chapter 6

You are rocking this story. I hope Nina will be okay.

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 06:51 pm

Title: Chapter 5

WOW!!!

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 06:49 pm

Title: Chapter 4

Outstanding!!!!!

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 06:48 pm

Title: Chapter 3

My mouth dropped open. This story is damn good.

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 06:47 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Excellent beginning.

Reviewer: Bain Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 06:46 pm

Title: Chapter 6

Wow! Brutal for the emotion evoked. But I'm betting Nina's going to get hooked on drugs to block her pain. I hope not. I'm glad Maxim's there for her.  Excellent work.

Reviewer: jahchannah Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: May 30 2015 02:40 pm

Title: Cast Pics

Wow, this story is so raw, and interesting. I love it!

Reviewer: Wideyedreamer Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 26 2015 03:27 am

Title: Chapter 5

I wish your post were longer, because the story is so good!

Reviewer: SweetCoCo76 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 25 2015 12:44 pm

Title: Chapter 4

Wow! Yuri is evil and needs to be taken down and given a bit of his own medicine!! I hope Katrina can survive this situation. She may have bitten off more than she can chew!!

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 23 2015 05:08 am

Title: Chapter 4

good update

Reviewer: jomoli Signed [Report This]
Date: May 22 2015 04:23 pm

Title: Chapter 4

Wow, I'm ready for Yuri to die a horrible, painful death. 

Reviewer: AP Signed [Report This]
Date: May 22 2015 02:39 pm

Title: Chapter 3

Great update! Hope she can handle what comes next!

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 14 2015 03:45 am



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