It's a Cheshire cat not "chest sire"...Your formatting is confusing when switching between different characters pov...I like that they spent the evening getting to know each other and relaxing...hoping to read more...
The characters I think needed that time to establish a base for the plot to come. Funny situation about the Cheshire Cat Word spell corrected it that way. I didn't catch it until it posted and by then it was way past my bedtime lol. I will revise the chapter. Thank you for reading and responding.Reviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]
Date: June 10 2016 05:50 am
Don't you love how Do I Wanna Know perfectly flows into R U Mine? Damn that's a great song to be inspired by to write a story. I've been wanting to write a story based off Cold Winter by Kings of Leon for the longest time... and you know what? I think I will. Thanks for the idea!
As for the story... I like it. Just want to point out that it flips back and forth between 3rd person and 1st person narration. Not sure if it's intentional or not, but I had to reread it twice to follow along. Other than that... good start. (~_*)Reviewer: CaliKid44 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 10 2016 03:36 am