Wow. Erica Sanderson, please be a good person. Please be his sister or niece. This family can't take much more. I can't take much more. Lol.
Oh I love Ella, so much. I loved them all very much in this installment.
I know you might not be religious, Miradream nor your readers, but that quote from Mary Frye ... well it's biblical in nature. "Do not stand at my grave and weep." is from the Bible. When the Angels came to see the women at Jesus' tomb. I didn't know if you knew that.
The following were so beautiful. So beautiful, words fail me in how to describe them back to you. I'll just repost them here:
"In one phone call, my life changed forever. Mama's life changed. I think in that moment, I changed. I realized or rather I remembered I was all Mama had in the world. At one time, I'd grown in her body and been nurtured by her. Even if I had disappointed her-and I had-I was still her child, her only child. I separated myself into halves. I was determined to be the child helping her mother through the grieving process and not the child who'd just lost her father. That would come later.
I did so instantaneously-recovered from the shock of Mama's words and became the steel magnolia Daddy would have wanted me to be for her. Daddy was gone. Okay. I asked Jamie to stay with Ella. Everything muscle in his body wanted to hold me. His face told me so. He wanted to keep me afloat because he thought I would drown in grief. But I'd made a deal with myself. Get through the first few hours and things would start to feel normal again. I understood I wasn't behaving as a person who'd just lost their father might behave. I'd never done this before; I'd never lost a parent. There weren't rules. I only wanted not to fall apart. I had to hold it together for Mama and Ella."
If I could I probably repost the entire chapter here. All of it was so good. You were really able to take me there. Right there.
"Lynn heard Cassie's sudden gulps of air, felt her body arching in abject revulsion. She'd seen him lying there. Gone. Lifeless and cold. Lynn cupped Cassie's face between her hands, forcing her to look into her eyes and not at Hayden, behind her.
Lynn answered the questions in Cassie's eyes. "It was an aneurysm, his brain," she stumbled over the words her own brain had become familiar with, "and there wasn't anything they could do for him."
Cassie steadied her body, controlling her physical reaction to what her mother had said. She couldn't fall apart no matter how much it hurt to see her father lying there. She had more strength than that; she inherited that part of herself from him.
She willed tears to stay in their place, behind her eyes where she hid grief and fear. "Mama, it's going to be okay," she said, as reassurance for them both. She covered Lynn's hands and matched eyes with her. "How are you? Do you need anything...""
There was a visceral reaction in me when I read the above. It was like I'd been transported into their grief. But only a tiny tiny bit. It was enough, however. I'd never experienced the loss of someone close to me, not that close to me at least. I couldn't imagine how or what that would do to me. But when I read this, I got a taste.
"Memories flooded Lynn's mind. Of the days with Hayden in New York where they'd grown up together, dreaming of ways out of their circumstances. Basketball was his ticket; medicine was hers. She and Hayden hadn't started dating until she was away at Sarah Lawrence. He waited for her, having proposed to her that first year, he didn't worry about losing her. And she allowed him room to figure out his life. She trusted that her place with him was secure. Cassie hadn't been planned. Lynn wasn't even sure she'd wanted children. She wanted time to think about it; of course, it was when she found out she was pregnant."
More... I wanted more of this. I saw so clear in my minds eye a young Angela Bassett and a young Jeffery Wright growing up and falling in love in Harlem.
"Ella remembered something. "He was in my sleep." They looked at her in confusion. "When I sleeped, he talked to me."
Cassie couldn't stop the tears that leaked down her cheek. "What did he say?"
"Go Mimi's," Ella smiled. He had even kissed her and hugged her before he left. "I can see him in my sleep," she questioned hopefully. "Is heaven my sleep?""
Btw, what is "mimi's"? I figure that means to go to sleep, but how did you come up with that? Is it a spanish language derivative or another language? She also calls Lynn Mimi too. Is there a connection, I'm missing?
Author's Response: SarahRain22, I heart you...and also to answer, Mimi is spanish slang for sleep. Abuelitas use it with their babies :) and also Mimi is another form of Grandma, don't know which language it is derived from but we use it in my family. And yes, religion plays a pertinent role in my life. Thank you for pointing it out though. Reviewer: SarahRain22 Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/20/09 03:54 pm
Thanks for the update! I wasn't expecting it so soon..what a nice surprise.
Very nice how the family told Ella about her grandpa..
Author's Response: You're so very welcome! It was on my mind so I had to get it down or it would be lost. Ella's so grown up, it was almost as if she did the telling :) Reviewer: brinagal Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/20/09 03:31 pm
Oh! I was really surprised to see a new installment was up...Thank you =) I'm curious to know where Mia and Morgan are...hope they will show up too - in the meantime, take care and thank you!
Author's Response: Mia and Morgan, Seneca and Erica will all be around soon. Explanations are coming. Reviewer: Cassius_Noir Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/20/09 02:41 pm
Hey Miradream! I'm one of the newbies. And I'm so glad to have found you and these stories.
I was so excited when I got the email that Redemption had been updated again! I actually stopped what I was doing and rushed over to read the update. I was thinking, "WoW! This girl updates fast!!!" Then I read your author's note and I wanted to cry. Lol. I'm okay though, are you???
Let me first just tell you, that your writing is such a breath of fresh air. You write with more emotion than any one I've read in a long long time. It's organic and raw and heady. You are a powerhouse!
And Redemption and it's predecessor are both so beautifully written. One can't help but be sucked in. I love how I don't know who or what to root for. I actually like it being sort of a mystery as to who or what's really good for the hero and heroine until the very end. Mira you really outdid yourself with this one. Please hurry back. My heart is caught up in my throat.
But I understand the need for your hiatus (temporary, I sincerely hope). Things like this happen all the time in the online fanfic world. We as readers don't always know how to temper our criticism and be sensitive with this precious gift you, writers graciously bestow on us: these little pieces of your hearts and souls, blood, sweat and tears sometimes too. (Sometimes it takes all of that for me to just write a paper for school let alone something as personal like this.)
As readers we can sometimes view these snippets of who you all are as insensitively and callously as we view programs on TV, movies and novels. In those mediums, it's okay for us to be insensitive and scream at the TV or come online and bash the writers and TPTB. Because with them we figure they'll never know, for one. And that they should be able to take the harsh criticism because they get paid the big bucks to do so.
Such is not the case with you "fanfic" (for lack of a better term) writers. This particular medium is very personal, and very immediate! As you already know. And most readers are aware of that and are able to temper their criticisms. However the reality is is this is the Internet (duh duh DUHHHHHH), a sometimes very scary place where people because of the anonymity of being online can level the most cruel words at people without a second thought. Things they wouldn't even say to someone's face should they meet them in person.
I say all this to say, I'm sorry criticism has been harsh in the past. I didn't read all the reviews, but I know the nature of the beast, and I can assume it was a bit much for you. Please just keep doing you. And letting YOUR story be told the way YOU see fit. All us readers are just along for the ride. You control all the buttons on this rollercoaster. And so far the ride has been oh SO enjoyable. I hope you come back soon. Take care. Rest up! I'll be here waiting for you. =)Reviewer: SarahRain22 Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/20/09 02:15 pm
Ok I don't say this often but take your time updting and get well!!..LOL ..tomorrow I will be jonsing and begging for updt!!
That being said, you are incredibly talented sweetie. You have handled some very delicate themes in this story expertly and beautifully...your story is one of my favorites because rings so true of the realities of who people are flawed and all. Be true to yourself first sweetie and write the story that is in your heart!!
Have a fantastic holiday and get well fast!!Reviewer: neneburge Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/20/09 01:25 pm
I am shocked that you are getting hate reviews. I enjoy reading your strories and find nothing bad when you say on to the next chapter. I think readers should start separating fact from fiction. No normal Human would be blase about the death of another. There is a big difference between constructive critism and being nasty.
I do appreciate you offering your stories to me for free and I am always happy that there are people like yourself who are willing to share your characters with people like myself who are unable to write but enjoy reading.
thank you keep up the good work
Author's Response: Thank you for your opinion on the matter. And for you, myself, and others I'll continue doing what I love best. I allowed myself to get caught up in confusion that I possibly stoked by being sensitive and reading intentions that possibly never existed. It's all good either way. I appreciate your encouragement. Reviewer: kamille Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/20/09 07:20 am
Thank you for another great update! I love this story and the characters with all their human flaws!
Take as much time as you need for yourself I will definitely await your return to this wonderful work of story telling!
Author's Response: I love you and your love for my characters and story. I also love flaws and all because I am flawed! I heard a sermon today that reminded me not to waste time when I could be doing what I was purposed to do. So, I'm on to the next one :). Happy Holidays to you and yours, as well! Reviewer: read a lot Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/20/09 06:11 am
Yikes! Please keep writing. Please don't leave me hanging -- but more importantly please keep writing your story your way. That's how great art is created.
And if it's okay, if I can share a little bit of advice, please take every review with a grain of salt. Try not to take any of it too much to heart, or dwell on any of it, good, bad, or indifferent.
Your fans will be waiting eagerly for your return.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 11:51 pm
Yike's, I didn't see that coming. I wonder if Lynn sensed this and sent the others away so that she could have him all to herself in the end?? Have a private good bye. I can only imagine what this will mean to everyone.
I love, love, love this story!!!!!
Author's Response: And I love love love you! Sincerely, your words mean the world to me! Lynn and Hayden were a potent team, one wonders if one can sense the end of the other. She may have and wanted closure alone. He was her other half and his death is consequential for his family. Everything happens for a reason. Reviewer: Bluegardenia Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 10:51 pm
Mama you take care of yourself...
You KNOW I will be here waiting for you to come back... Mira, please don't let the words of one or a some deter you from your gift... I have been working and going to school (BOTH) full time... And I have a 2 yo son... So trust me I can almost feel your sense of accomplishment (I have until Dec 17 - my last final... WOO HOO!!! *smile*)
I, for one, am so beyond frickin appreciative for the GIFTS (because they are that - GIFTS) that you and others share with us for FREE!!! Like someone mentioned before... Those of us who have been following you from jump street know YOU!
Take a break, rest, rejuvenate your spirit but know I will put on my detective hat and come looking for you chica...
I will be patiently (unpatiently - LOL!) waiting your return...
Spanish Fly!Reviewer: spanishfly69 Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 10:28 pm
I'm so sorry her dad didn't make it. I was so hoping they would have at least had a chance to talk again. Hopefully this will bring all of them together as a family once again united. Thanks for an awesome update!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. Losing someone during a rift has to one of the tougher ways to lose a relationship. My belief stems from a quote by Rainer Marie Rilke: People are not the last conversation you had with them; they're who they've been throughout the entire relationship. I don't know if Hayden could have said anything for his death to be okay with Cassie. The hope for true reconcillation expected after all they've been through. Losing Hayden may be just what they need to cross that path
Date: 11/19/09 10:24 pm
Was that a 100 watt lightbulb finally going on in Jamison's stubborn head???
Yes, Cassie needs him. Left to herself, her guilt and regret can eat her alive.
Hopefully, this will have a good outcome for Cassie's father? Is it asking too much to want an amicable reunion between her and her parents????Reviewer: Bluegardenia Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 10:05 pm
Merci. Gracias. For the great updates.
Cassie is always trying to unring the Cassie-Jamison bell. Yes, you slept with him... again. Yes, he is still married.
Covering her ears from the peals of the bells does not erase the noise, only muffles it.
Cassie's attempts to stay in bed, in her room, away from Jamison and the world in order to avoid, evade what was happening to two plus years of very hard work.
Jamison has got to get a damn clue and get some help. He has to EARN the family he says he wants. Regardless of what has happened, Ella, his break up, even Morgan, he cannot seduce, guilt trip or demand what he wants.
Uh-huh... Daddy's ill.
On to he next chapter!!!Reviewer: Bluegardenia Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 09:58 pm
As always a good update. Cass seems to have her eyes open to her and Jamie's issues. Hate she didn't get to talk to her dad before he was gone, but at least she was able to see him.Reviewer: qualidee3 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 09:04 pm
Okay, see now I know I take these darn stories to much to heart. Here I am all choked up about "Daddy' being in the hospital and then the phone call about him being "gone." I get to the author comments and your like oh well, had to off him and on with the story and I start laughing! Well, at least I know it's good fiction I'm reading.
On to the next one...
Author's Response: Lol, I promise it wasn't intended in a condescending way, his death. I agonized over ending his part in the story but it dictated itself, and I follow it and not the other way around. I truly take every piece of fiction I put forth to heart. Keep reading :) I'll operate with a touch more tact. Thanks Reviewer: Dee Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 08:45 pm
I am new here and I was reading the first segment of this story and now I am caught up and I am reading this and all of a sudden we have a death in the family and you write "I'm sorry about Hayden...I did like him a lot but you know how that goes. Anywho. On to the next one...."
What happen to compassion...this was not a very good one, sad but not good, It was evident that you were sick and not on your best....please redo this chapter and if you don't then that is okay I am only commenting on what I am reading and this is far off from what you have posted...well I take that back it seems as if the adults were more like children then actual adults. They were made to be more confusing as they grew older.
This is just my opinion.Reviewer: reader Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 07:22 pm
I knew Hayden was going to die and I think Lynn knew it too..I think she wanted to spend her last hours with him alone..just them too. I think when Ella told him she loved him and Cassie kinda of reconciled herself with her family again..I realized ..this is it.
I am kinda sad but I had no connection with Hayden so it is not as devasting as if it would have been Lyn.
I so want Jamie and Cass to be alright. When they are good , they are really good. They are extremes and need to find that happy center for themselves as well as their child.
I think this has been an eye opener for everyone, even Jimmy. Life lessons are sometimes more easily accepted at times of death. It makes people face their own mortality and put things in perspective!1
You handle these subjects with such sensitivity and so beautifully. You capture the real emotions so honestly. I remember being so clingy and needy when my mother passed..my husband helped me through a time that I could not have faced w/o him.
Beautifully written sweetie..great job! Now make our kids ok..get them off the emotionally relationship rollercoaster..lol!Reviewer: neneburge Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 07:16 pm
Loved the update. Sad to see Hayden go but hey, life goes on. There goes Jamie again crowding in Cassie in her shower. Does this man not understand alone time???? It appears suffocating at times. He is like a sponge sucking up all the life in the room. He reminds me of someone who would theaten to committ suicide if they can't get what they want, WEAK!!!! Hmmm, can't wait to see where this story goes from here.Reviewer: baha_malo Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 06:54 pm
I am lost for words actually and that is a rear thing. I see a lot of changes coming because of Hayden's death. More than anything I hope Cassie doesnt come undone, but I fear she would...
Get well soon MiraDream and listen to your mama :)Reviewer: Introspection Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 06:17 pm
OMG!!! I am sad to hear about Hayden yes alot of things will definitely shift for all the characters involved.
Like the old folk say though when one life leaves us another comes in....(Cass being pregnant) but I could be wrong.
Cass I suspect is going to take this very hard cause she is going to feel that she wasted 2yrs being upset with her family and the last words spoken were not pleasant ones.
I hope Jamie knows what he is doing and is very sincere on being there for Cassie and fighting for his family with his whole heart and not selfish intent...cause Cass feels that there is something missing and something wrong.
This was a very heart wrenching update especially with Hayden's passing there @ the end. Cass learning so much about her mom's childhood. I wonder where this is going to put Lynn now because they had a very special and tight bond I hope she doesn't leave this world after her husband due to a broken heart they say when a couple is that close it tends to happen but then Lynn is a very strong and stonic person no fault of her own I am sure that wall was not ever present around her husband.
Mira you have done a wonderful job with this story and the previous one concerning these characters.
I hope you get to feeling better and mama power is always stronger and more powerful then any other :D
Thank you for thinking about us and sharing your stories.Reviewer: Thundakat Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 06:06 pm
Also another great update Mira. Please take care of yourself and stay well.
This was a teary update and I know the heat will be on between Jamie and Cass.
Eventhough Jamie knows what he wants I still feel that he needs to show Cass that she is the only one.
Actions speak louder than words and he needs to get his life in order starting with a divorce and showing his family that he can treat cass the way she should be treated.Reviewer: Cherry Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 06:00 pm
Awww you better listen to your mother and take care of yourself. Hope you are feeling better. Thank you for the awesome update it was wonderful. So glad Cassie and her mother talked, with Hayden being gone I hope that brings them closer together. Loved what Cassie said about Jamie. Its seems as she knows she is destin to love him always and that she has to learn to except the flaws of there relationship! Hopefully Jamie will add some new changes with in himself along with the flaws so that they can be together without so much pain. Jaime does need to close the chapter with Tav. So love this story and hopefully with flaws and all there is a happy ever after for Jamie and Cassie.Reviewer: PAW Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 05:25 pm
I have pretty much praised this story and the last because of the quality story telling, but....
I hope this story picks up, because no offense, but I did not feel those last two chapters. IMHO, they felt entirely to plot driven. I know as a writer that it's your creatice outlook that must be adhered to, but this situation didn't feel like a seemless transition, it felt forced. I didn't feel the emotional connection come of the pages like I have in earlier chapters involving these characters. IDK, maybe its just me, but I will continue to read this story to see where the muse takes you, because I'd like to know how the story ends.Reviewer: Cholyn Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 05:17 pm
Hayden died before Cassie and he could reconcil. That was so sad, it made me remember when my daddy died, except I was at the hospital when he passed. My heart will never be the same. Thank you for sharing your talent with us the readers.Reviewer: pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 05:15 pm
Sad that Hayden passed away before he and Cassie could mend their relationship..Maybe this will be the catalyst for all to 'mend' relationships in this family..and they are all (Ella, Cass, Jamie, his parents, her parents) are a family..no matter who else they add as appendages (Mason, Octavia)...the hospital scenes said all that and more..and regardless of the outcome of J/C's relationship they (J/C), need to heal..still before they can move on with each other or other people..Just that simple..
Wonder how her father's death will affect her and eveyone else?
Good work Mira..and your mother's right..Rest child! Thanks for the update!Reviewer: brinagal Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/19/09 04:32 pm