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Title: When we were young adults

Please add main character death or character death however they allow you to select.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/12/16 01:14 am

Title: When we were in love

Didn't see that ending coming, no offense, but I won't read anything else you write, very depressing. You could have at least given a better time frame the prom to the 2 years pass his death. So nothing but her memories or how he died, uhm... oh well. Maybe I'm spoiled by the HEA writers. Sorry.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]
Date: 25/12/16 01:10 am

Title: When we were in love

I did not see that coming. You killed me with that ending. It felt like somebody punched me in the stomach :'''(. Beautiful story though.

Reviewer: A_Girl_Called_T Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 26/11/13 06:06 pm

Title: When we were in love

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!! SO SAD THAT THEY NEVER REALLY HAD A CHANCE TO MAKE A LIFE AS ADULTS TOGETHER, AND IF THEY DID YOU DID NOT GIVE US (YOUR READERS) ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THAT PART OF THEIR LIVES.  WITH THAT BEING SAID, YOUR STILL WAS HEART WARMING, TOUCHINGLY BEAUTIFUL!  THAT IS WHAT A SHORT STORY IS SUPPOSED TO DO!


10 STARS

Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01/09/11 04:02 am

Title: When we were young adults

CUTE!

Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/09/11 03:46 am

Title: When we were young

A very good start and funny too! I did not notice any grammatical errors, I probably wasn't looking close enough.  But I did think that the story started off funny. Keep it up!

Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01/09/11 03:36 am

Title: When we were in love

Oh god, this is so beautiful. And the ending! That was like a knife being twisted in my stomach!! When I read that I felt really overwhelmingly sad as well as my self righteousness rising, its not fair! Its not fair! Why?

This was a beautiful story and I loved the imagery. But it's made me feel so sad. Which is a testament to your writing itself.

Reviewer: dissociative_identity Signed [Report This]
Date: 30/06/11 10:34 pm

Title: When we were in love

So sad but such a good story!

Reviewer: mizgardenia Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/05/11 04:35 am

Title: When we were in love

That was sad, why did Keoni have to die?  That was so good.

Reviewer: pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 07/03/11 07:30 pm

Title: When we were in love

Awwwwwwwwwww so so sad... I definitely was not expecting that ending at all. This was a really good story albeit a tad sad at the end but a really good story nonetheless. You have a lot of talent. 

Reviewer: mizgardenia Signed [Report This]
Date: 02/02/11 06:50 am

Title: When we were in love

damn. that was a punch to the gut. well done!

Reviewer: intellectual titmouse Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/12/10 12:13 am

Title: When we were in love

I found this story today. I don't know how I missed it because I love your writing. This made me cry. I did not see this ending coming. Can we have what happen to them after the prom?

Reviewer: Gloria Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 08/08/10 03:53 pm

Title: When we were in love

::Sigh:: That was so beautiful and sad, now I'm all teary-eyed, darnit!

Reviewer: Libri Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/05/10 07:50 am

Title: When we were in love

You already know how I feel about this story...I was beautiful.

But you killed him?  How could you...

I await Kendal's return to love...which better happen sooner rather than later *narrows good eye*

 

Reviewer: SebineDareau Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/05/10 01:59 am

Title: When we were in love

So sweet and moving with a surprise twist at the end. They had an enchanting love story .Very powerful story. LOVE IT !

Reviewer: Stacie Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/05/10 05:18 pm

Title: When we were in love

OMG, this was too beautiful... and sad.

These are the kinds of couples I like to imagine being together way, way into their golden years. Together so long, in love so deeply that they function as one. When one dies, the other soon follows. I feel no sadness or regret about them.

While I couldn't tell exactly how long Kendal and Keoni had been together, her reminising about him and his not being with her long enough could easily be said by someone 70 years old as by someone of 20 or 30.

The difference is that I do cry for lovers who you know have longevity potential, but fate interrupts and changes everything.

My first reaction was that they were still young. I felt Kendal's love and loss.

Great job telling their story... leading us through the transitions in their relationship and that touching moment of realization then loss and regret. 



Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Blue. I was almost in tears typing this up. I love happy endings as much as the next girl but I felt like Keoni and Kendal were brought together to teach each other something. I just realized that this isn't the end for Kendal...I had an epiphany a few days ago about this story and I have a continuation in the works for her. They should have had longevity, but like I said, their relationship was meant to teach her something. I leave most everything up to you to decide. I wanted it to read like it could be a a young couple anywhere at any time. I'm so glad you enjoyed it :) 

Reviewer: Bluegardenia Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/05/10 02:53 am

Title: When we were in love

I was so happy reading those first chapters and at the end of third, I was like wtf - he died???! NOOOOO, that's too sad!! What kind of ending is that? It's too much for my "they lived happily ever after -heart" LOL Any way, it was a wonderful story and well written! But sad though...*starts to tear up again*

Author's Response: I guess I should be paying for people medical bills, seems I've caused a lot of heartattacks lately! I stuggled with the ending. He was either going to be in a hospital, near death, or already dead. The story just spoke to me in that way. I'm glad you enjoyed the ride :)

Reviewer: aprilfool Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 12:55 pm

Title: When we were in love

That was really beautiful!

Author's Response: Thank you JuJu :)

Reviewer: Jujubee50 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 07:28 am

Title: When we were young adults

Good update

Reviewer: Jujubee50 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 07:01 am

Title: When we were young

Cute start

Author's Response: Thank you, JuJu for reading.

Reviewer: Jujubee50 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 06:41 am

Title: When we were in love

Beautiful!

Author's Response: Thank you very much, Moni!

Reviewer: Moni Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 05:04 am

Title: When we were in love

Very nice. Cute story.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it, baha.

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 04:33 am

Title: When we were in love

Great story.  Now, I know it's a one shot, but I am wanting more...was it two years after prom that he died or how long????????



Author's Response: That's the ambiguity of it all, my dear. I leave it up to you to decide that. It's the same reason why I never gave dates or actual places. I want the reader to feel like this is anywhere, because, really it is. I like to think they had some time after prom to cultivate their love before he dies. But, again, I'm leaving that up to you to decide. Thanks for reading qualidee!

Reviewer: qualidee3 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 04:21 am

Title: When we were in love

I'm in tears now, Renee...that was quite beautiful...and so, so SAD...I was so not expecting the ending of this story...but it proves so much the sheer power of love even from the great beyond...you succeeded at least with this reader to tug at my heartstrings...and for that...I will be eternally grateful for this remarkable story of love found...then tragically lost...brava, girl...this was beyond terrific!!!!

Author's Response: To tell you the truth attheritz, I wasn't sure how I wanted to end it until today. I also wanted to do something different then strictly romance, so I started writing action fics. But I always wanted to do something that wasn't a complete happy ending. This to me, is sad, but its real. People lose love but that doesn't mean they stop loving. My heartstrings were tugged too, if it makes you feel any better, haha! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, thank you so much!

Reviewer: attheritz Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 04:06 am

Title: When we were in love

What!! That was a gut punch. I didnt expect Keoni being dead!! Awwww.

Author's Response: Oh, flickchick, I'm sorry it was a shock to the system! I wanted to evoke some kind of emotion. I hope you enjoyed it, though! :)

Reviewer: flikchick Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/05/10 03:45 am

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