A very good start and funny too! I did not notice any grammatical errors, I probably wasn't looking close enough. But I did think that the story started off funny. Keep it up!
Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed
[Report This]Date: 01/09/11 03:36 am
Cute start
Author's Response: Thank you, JuJu for reading.
[Report This]Date: 05/05/10 06:41 am
Okay Renee I am reading it again. I love it! Love the butt beating by both mommas.
Author's Response: LOL, awww thank you bayou! I'm glad you enjoyed it enough for a second go. Funny thing, I keep re-reading it too. I'm in love with my own story. This is my favorite of all the stories I've written. How weird is that? :-/
[Report This]Date: 05/05/10 03:34 am
I opened this with the intention to quickly just 'take a peak' and read it tomorrow evening when I have more time to read...but what can I say...I'm hooked...this is so good...love Kendal and Keoni's 'voices' already...now I can hardly read fast enough...I think I'm already in love...reading on...and thanks for sharing Renee...
Author's Response: Thank you for allowing me to share this with you :)
[Report This]Date: 05/05/10 03:32 am
Love this start.
Reviewer: baha_malo Signed [Report This]Date: 05/05/10 03:13 am
That Kendal is something else..I love her already!
Ok but I screamed out loud at this part." He's got a mop of sandy hair that needs a haircut and chicken legs that jut out from khaki shorts. I'm sure he'll grow into them one of these days. But for now, he is so ugly and annoying and mean. I can barely keep myself from pushing him down ....this sounds just like something a pre teen little tomboy girl would say..lol..Ok theire mothers could be me and my neighbors sad..but true lol!!
You captured their thoughts and emotions perfectly..
You can tell they are talking about themselves growing up so I know it will all work out but I am anxious to see how they arrive at their final destination of love!!
This is so much fun already weetie...great job!!
Reviewer: neneburge Signed [Report This]Date: 05/05/10 02:25 am
This is a cute story. Thanks
Reviewer: Divsionred Signed [Report This]Date: 05/05/10 01:48 am
A lovely story, very sensitive and beautifully written. I couldn't help the tears.Loved every word of it! Thank you!
Reviewer: KKMonroe Signed [Report This]Date: 04/05/10 11:20 pm