Ok I was just getting comfy than BAM!!! Here’s another challenge for you finish it ;-)
Reviewer: JJ Anonymous [Report This]Date: 20/10/10 02:03 am
Wow!!! That was short, but how so sweet. That sista was a cold one. lol. Would've loved to read his reaction to her unexpected announcement. tee-hee.
Great job!
Reviewer: Suprina Frazier Signed
[Report This]Date: 21/08/10 06:47 pm
D*mn homie! I like though!
Author's Response: Cold, right? I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading :)
[Report This]Date: 12/07/10 05:22 am
Ouch!
Author's Response: Indeed! Thanks for reading :)
Date: 10/07/10 06:24 pm
Great one-shot. LMAO!
Author's Response:
[Report This]Date: 08/07/10 06:16 pm
COLD!!! Wow. She's eeevil and he's not too nice either. This read like haiku in a way :) I am left wondering who they are and how they came to this pass. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you, MZ! Hmm, I never was one to write good poetry so that in itself is a wonderful compliment :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Date: 08/07/10 03:59 pm
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT . What a Bitch . Loved it .!!!!
Author's Response:
Date: 06/07/10 04:16 pm
Gasp Oh Okay.... I wasn't expecting that ending, but yeah do it.!!!
Author's Response: LOL! I'm glad it surprised you and I hope you enjoyed it :) Reviewer: Acorn Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/07/10 04:07 am
Interesting but too short. What was the back story???
Author's Response: Yeah, it killed me it being this short. Believe me. I tried to give little clues as to what transpired between them. Things like, when he says, "You brought this upon yourself", or the fact that his kids aren't even really his. Couple of subtle clues, and other not so subtle ones were thrown in there as a glimpse of a back story. I'll work on it. Thanks for reading baha :)
[Report This]Date: 06/07/10 02:27 am
Hot damn...that was good. I would have liked to see the mans' face when she stated that last line.
Great Job!!!
Author's Response: Thank you Moni! I think you can imagine his reaction. More than 10 years being married to a woman who's kept this from you? How would you react? LOL! Reviewer: Moni Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 06/07/10 01:51 am
Since its a one shot! I wont beg for more, I will say it packed a punch.
Author's Response: LOL! I appreciate that Cali :) I knew folks would be asking for more, and believe me, I wanna write more for it but I have to leave it alone. It was an exercise and an experiment to see if I could convey in entire world in less than 100 words...I'm glad you think I succeeded!
[Report This]Date: 06/07/10 01:44 am
Well done, very well done.
Author's Response: Thank you, Oni :) I'll have to SA update out this month....promise!
[Report This]Date: 06/07/10 12:45 am
Ok now that was just too funny.
Author's Response: LOL! I love the different reactions I've gotten. Some people laugh out loud (which I wasn't expecting) and others are shocked. I'm glad you enjoyed it, letitia!
Date: 05/07/10 10:32 pm
O_O DAMN!
Author's Response: LOL! That's about the reaction I was looking for :D Hope you enjoyed it Leo!
Date: 05/07/10 09:13 pm
This is amazing, Renee. 89 words! You've captured a whole universe in 89 words. Beautifully written.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I was just trying to convey the deterioration of a marriage but a whole universe?? Wow! I really appreciate that, Rand :) Reviewer: randp37 Anonymous
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 09:12 pm
OOPS! LOL...I loved it! She definitely got the last word in!!
Author's Response: LOL! Indeed she did. Thank you for reading Redbird!
Date: 05/07/10 08:40 pm
Great oneshot, Renee...you were able to convey so much story in just a few scant words of dialogue than a lot of writers can do in pages and pages of text...this story reminds me of so much the cautionary tale of 'The War of the Roses'...the vitriol...the utter breakdown of the marriage vows...the resentment from both sides...when you're at the place where even the sound of the other's breathing has become a nuisance...and the delivery of the last line...how cold...and possibly soul-destroying....
Great job and you were up to the challenge...come to think of it...this is the first time I believe that my review was longer than the piece that I was critiquing...loved it!!!
Author's Response: Thank you, attheritz! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the writing, that means a lot coming form you. I was really worried that people wouldn't get it but I let my mom read it first and I got the desired reaction. I tired to give subtle hints as to the deterioration of their relationship with his line about bringing this upon herself and the fact that he didn't recognize her anymore after over 10 years of marriage. I tried to stay away from using obvious words like "divorce" or "marriage" or "unfaithful". I wanted the subtly of it all to speak louder. I'm SO happy it came across. It was really hard in less than 100 words. I dunno how I did it when I can't even keep my responses to reviews under 100 words, LOL! Thank you again girl! Reviewer: attheritz Signed
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 08:29 pm
Damn, that was cold. Her final shot was mean but funny as hell. I'm intrigued as to what the hell happened. And if true, not one of the KIDS (?!?!?!) was his. Damn, just ruthless, ain't she? There's got to be some redeeming value in this woman. And who's to say that he's not just as ruthless. DAMNNNNN.
Author's Response: I know right?! In my head, she was the cold-hearted one who kept an an earth-shattering secret for over a decade. I have an entire back story for this couple but I had to choose which scene to convey to the reader. I choose the very end of this relationship because I don't think it much matters how it happened (though I tried to give little hints such as his line about bringing this upon herself). The point is, she did him DIRTY. I guess her redeeming quality is that she finally told him the truth? LOL! Thank you so much, Bella :)
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 08:27 pm
Now I want to know what hapeen to bring them to this point, good job.
Author's Response:
I wanna write it for you Sammy! Maybe I'll start a whole series with these two, give them names and write 89 word scenes telling their story....hmmm...
Thank you for reading!
Reviewer: Sammy1on1 Signed [Report This]Date: 05/07/10 08:17 pm
I must say that Less is more. I read the author note first and then slide my cursor down and I saw what you meant by it is hard to write under 100 words.
Good One Shot. LOL
Author's Response: Girl, yes! It is sooooo hard! You'd think that because it's so extremely short that it wouldn't be that difficult to get a point across but then you have to think about who these two people are, and what has brought them to the point they are. Now that I've done it, I think it'll be a little easier because I have so many great critiques to work from :) Glad you enjoyed! Reviewer: Cherry Signed
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 07:26 pm
LOL, that was really good for a one shot. Thanks
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, Division :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 07:11 pm
Oh snap! Reading this makes wonder what happened between the husband and wife to make them so cold towards each other. Was the wife lying about the kids to hurt the husband? Is there still love somewhere between the two of them? Was there ever love there to begin with? I believe the truest goal of any great story is to leave the reader both satisfied and asking for more, and you have definately done both. And in only 89 words?!?! Amazing!
Author's Response: In my head, I had to come up with an elaborate back story for them because just writing a short little scene like that just about killed me. I wanted to tell everyone what had happened between them but because my exercise was to write a story in less than a 100 words...yeah, he truly killed me. But I tried to give some subtle hints as to what their back story is and I leave it up to the reader as well. Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Date: 05/07/10 07:03 pm
OK that made me laugh out loud!! Way too funny!! Loved it NaNa!!
Author's Response: LOL! It made my mom laugh out loud too. Maybe this is more of a comedy...than a drama. *shrugs* Glad you enjoyed it Ne!
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 06:03 pm
This was good.. The ex-wife was quite cold and straight to the point.
Author's Response: Thank you, ReneeK! The women is pretty ruthless and straight to the point. She pulls no punches.
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 05:41 pm
oooooooohhhhhhhh yeah!!!! you've posted it! I love the title. I feel like slapping this woman! great job !!
Author's Response: I did indeed post it Kaye :) You encouraged me enough that I let my mom read it, and once I got the response I was looking for from her, I decided it was ready for the masses. Thanks tons!
[Report This]Date: 05/07/10 05:17 pm