Lily stared into the mirror as she removed one circular pearl earring and then the next, as if in a daze. She observed her appearance, hair swept up in a chignon, with tendrils that seduced her neck as they moved by an invisible wind. Her eyes held a myriad of emotions, hurt, betrayal, love, anger, and longing, a bone deep longing that lodged itself in her spine, and buried itself even deeper within her soul. She knew it was irrational to feel this way, but she did, she felt it utterly. She shouldn’t feel it, she had friends, family, and a husband who loved her, and who she…loved. And yet one night, one man, one person could make her feel emotions that she hadn’t felt in years. Maybe she’d felt them, maybe they had always been there, but…for some reason beyond all sanity, it was here, now, tonight.

She took a deep breath, and watched as her chest rose and fell. Her body was like an avatar, and she was just some entity controlling it. She took a breath, the oxygen came in, she knew that, but she couldn’t feel it, she could only see it. She could only see the things around her, and could only feel the emotions clogging her soul, but that was it. It was as if nothing existed outside of her emotions. Everything else, her image, the glass, vanity, the four poster bed behind her laden with a deep teal duvet in a mahogany bed frame or the large picture to her left… her wedding picture, it didn’t exist.

***

“But it doesn’t exist.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t exist?” she asked snuggled deep inside his lettermen jacket.

“Life out there, beyond this planet,” he said, arms held tight around her.

She looked up from her nook on his shoulder, “You’re not an expert.”

“Lily, it’s impossible.”

“It’s not impossible, I mean if we’re here, well, then there could be life out there.” She turned away to look at the stars that lay before them like twinkling diamonds. The sky was so clear out here in the clearing. No buildings, no smog, and very few cars. It was their place, and had been for as long as she could remember. “Billy, anything is possible.”

He looked down at her, his blue eyes growing darker, as he ran one hand through her hair. “No, not anything,” he said in a voice that made her heart flip.

“Like what?”

“Like, no one,” he bent close, letting his warm breath caress her forehead. “No one will love you like I do.”

His lips brushed against her forehead, causing her eyes to close at the closeness, and she sighed, “Promise?”

“This…yes, I may not always do the right thing, and I will never promise inconsequential things. I’m human, and I will make mistakes. But I do know this, that no one will ever love you as much as I do."

“How do you know?”

His eyes darkened to the color of the sky, showing so much intense emotion, that it nearly frightened her. “It’s impossible, no matter what happens between us, where we go, or what we do, I will never love another like I love you, and no man,” he swallowed, and she could see the flash of anger in his eyes, when he continued in a voice that closely resembled a growl. “No man, will ever love you the way that I do, or as much as I do.”

He kissed her then, hard, his lips giving testament to the words he’d just spoken. He took all of her in that kiss. Her heart, which was already his, nearly jumped out her chest, and her soul shattered, then reformed, splitting into two halves, before leaving her body and entwining itself into his. And through his mouth, his sweet succulent mouth, she fed from him, taking his love, his words, and a part of his soul that replaced the missing piece of hers. The kiss ended naturally, leaving them both short of breath, and feverish.

“It’s…impossible.”***

Impossible, Lily remembered her mother’s words that nothing was impossible, not if you worked hard at it, but this, love, it shouldn’t be work. A man should not have to overcome the shadows of another so hard, just to do something better, or be stronger at gaining someone’s affections and holding them in place. It should not be this way. And yet, wasn’t it this way? Before tonight, she would have said no, and aloud, if anyone asked her she still would. But inside, where she held her deepest, most shameless secrets and desires, she would say yes. Yes, it was possible.

I admitted it, but no more, not tonight, she thought lifting her hands to unpin her unruly curls which escaped their bondage piece by piece, until they lay in a wild mass around her shoulders. She looked as if she’d been bedded and bedded well. I love it when you look like this. Your hair, wild and free, imitating the soul of the woman that bares it, she blinked, the thought bringing her fully to the present. She could feel her limbs, and smell the bottles of perfume littering her vanity. She stood and walked to her dresser, removing a simple white shirt, her husband's shirt. She took off the dress, the magenta silk sliding against her skin as smooth as a lover's touch. She threw the dress across the bed, put on the shirt, pulled back the covers, slid in, and buried herself beneath them as if they were protection against the outside world.

***

Billy tossed back the warm glass of scotch, the contents burning his throat as it went down, doing nothing to heighten his senses, which where dull like they'd never been before. He stood, staring down at the blinking city lights of Genoa City, from one of the three large arch windows of his newly acquired penthouse. He felt blind, as if he couldn’t see anything. He was void of any and all emotions; it was as if they’d gone on vacation. He could only feel, the physical, the glass in his hand, his feet on the chilly wooden floor, and his heart, which was beating at a rate that he’d experienced only a few times before in his life. And each beat, each staccato, each time it raced, had been because of her. The first time he saw her. The first time he’d spoken to her. The first time he’d asked her out. The first time he’d kissed her. The first time he’d made love to her. And beyond all those moments, faster than every other time, was the first time he’d told her that he loved her, and knew it to be true. But this feeling, the feeling of his heart pounding mercilessly against his ribcage, like a wild animal trying to escape its cage, happened one other time…only one other time. The day he left her, the moment he’d said goodbye and walked away.

He turned from the view, resting his head against the cool glass and shut his eyes. What did it matter? Opened or closed, he couldn’t see. He was blind, blind to everything, and everyone, but her. He’d known he would see her tonight. But she hadn’t known. She hadn’t been prepared to see him. She’d handled herself the best she could, well after the incident, given the circumstances, but it was telling, there in her brandy colored eyes, the surprise, the sadness, the anger, and the hurt. The hurt that he’d put there. He should have warned her, or even told his sister Traci, or his niece, who was her best friend, to tell her, but he hadn’t. He’d wanted to see her reaction to him. He didn’t want her to have a chance to compose herself. He wanted to see it, her thoughts, and emotions, raw on display for him. He was a sadist, because he’d perversely enjoyed seeing it. It gave him joy, that although seven years had come and gone, she still felt something for him. He didn’t deserve her emotions, not even her hate.

Billy sighed, as he walked away from the window, through the dark apartment, and up the stairs, where he entered his bedroom that was illuminated by a single lamp on the bedside table. He sat on the edge of the bed, and striped down to his boxers. He pulled up the comforter, lay back on the navy sheets, and stared up at the white vaulted ceiling.

***

“Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?” Nick whispered in his wife’s ear.

Lily smiled, “Maybe one or two hundred times.”

“Well I hope to reach three hundred, before the night's over.”

“At this rate you’ll reach it in thirty minutes or so.”

“Oh please, could you two please give it a rest?” said Kate, who was standing to Lily’s left.

“You’re just jealous,” Lily joked.

“Of you two?” she said staring at her business partner/best-friend, and her “white knight in shining armor” complex having husband. “I’d stand a better chance of being jealous of two pieces of igneous rock. They at least know what it’s like to be near something hot.”

Lily laughed, and Nick scowled, which only caused Kate to roll her eyes. “I think,” Lily said sliding her arms around her husband’s waist, “that we are more like certain spices, subtle to the taste, with just enough kick, to give you the perfect flavor.”

“Well, I just think…”

“Sweetie,” Kevin said sliding his arms around his fiancé’s waist. “I don’t believe they want to hear it.”

Kate leaned back into his embrace, “I suppose not,” she sighed.

“Besides, this is our engagement party. We should be mingling and acting like a happy couple.”

She turned in his arms, “We are a happy couple,” she said kissing him.

“Hmm, where is that famous sarcasm now?” Lily asked batting her eyelashes at Kate, who pulled away from Kevin and scowled at her.

“Well this is my engagement party. I should be the center of attention, not you."

“Of course, we know how you love being the center of attention,” Nick drawled.

“As it should be,” she quipped.

“Okay children, does mommy need to call a time out?” Lily asked.

“No,” they mumbled unison, as Lily and Kevin grinned at each other.

“Ah Chloe, Kevin, I wanted give you my personal congratulations on your engagement before I depart for the evening.”

“Leaving so soon dad?” Nick asked his father, the imposing Victor Newman.

“Yes son, a very important business matter came up that I need to attend to, and unfortunately…” he turned to his daughter-in-law, whom he adored.

Lily groaned, because she knew what would come next. “You have to take my husband with you?”

“Forgive me?” he asked smiling down at her. She was such a tiny thing next to him, he was always careful when he hugged her, for fear that he might crush her. At times he wanted to hold her to him and never let her go. He loved her as if she were his own child.

“Of course, dad,” she said.

“Did I hear my name?” Neil Winters said from behind his eldest child, who groaned at the sound of his voice.

“You, too?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Wow, so you are all abandoning my party?” Kate said and then looked back at her fiancé, who was studiously avoiding her gaze. “No…no! You are not taking him.” She turned around into his arms, “Babe?”

“I’m…”

“No…”

“Sweets...”

“Kevin Fisher if you…”

She was cut off by Kevin, who kissed her, until she felt breathless. She was about to reply until she spotted someone out of the corner of her eye, which gave her pause. No, she thought, it couldn’t be. Not here. Not…Him. She heard them, all apologizing to her, saying how sorry they were, but how this matter needed to be dealt with. She could hear it all, as if it were coming from down a long tunnel. She was so aware, that she even replied to each of them without much thought. But she couldn’t give them her full attention, because most of it was fixed on the gentleman, whose dirty blonde hair peaked out from behind one of the columns in the ballroom of the Genesis Hotel, that had been decorated to look like an ancient Greek temple for the occasion. Anyone could have dirty blonde hair. It didn’t necessarily have to belong to him. And if it was, what was he doing here, at her engagement party? If she knew he was here– and as if on queue, Kate heard her name.

“Lily, I’m so,” she placed a finger on his lips to silence him.

“It’s okay, I understand” she leaned in and kissed him.

“God, I don’t deserve you, but I have you, and I will hold onto you with both hands.”

“It’s just this one time,” she said, but they both knew it was a lie. He’d been working a lot lately. It hadn’t been like this when they’d first married. Nick always worked, being VP of acquisitions and development required that he work longer hours, but it hadn’t really been a problem. Of course he was the Senior VP now, which required more work, and meant that he either wasn’t taking her to social events, or was leaving early, because something came up.

“I’ll make it up to you, promise.”

She smiled and nodded, accepting the kiss he offered as a peace offering.

“Well, you guys better run off now,” Kate said moving towards the exit, which was opposite the dirty blonde hair, bringing Kevin along with her, and praying everyone else would follow. Kate Valentine had good instincts, and they were screaming for her to get the men out of the room first, and Lily second.

“What’s going on?” Kevin asked near her ear.

“Nothing,” she said.

“You’re letting me go, and you didn’t even put up a good fight.”

“Well…”

“Oh good, you’re leaving,” Amber said in rush.

“What? Why is it good that we’re leaving?” Nick asked.

“What, Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that, I didn’t…“ she trailed off lamely.

“We don’t want the other men leaving en masse,” Jana said, “You know one leaves, and the rest will follow.”

Everyone was quiet for a second, before Nick said, “She has a point.”

The other men agreed with his assessment, and departed, but not before apologizing for staying barely an hour. Nick on the other hand, dragged his wife off to the coat room, to say goodbye. He didn’t say it aloud, but the other men knew that he’d need a few minutes first.

“How did you do it?” Jana asked Kate.

“I didn’t, fate did.”

“Well, good timing on fate's half, ” Jana said.

“Yes,” Amber agreed nodding her head, “I can’t believe he’s here.”

Kate groaned, “So my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me?”

“Unfortunately…no,” she replied.

“Well, what in hell are we going to do?” Kate demanded.

“I don’t know, Colleen’s been keeping him busy, but I don’t know how much longer she’ll be able to.” Jana said.

“Yeah, he looked pretty determined.”

“That son of a bitch,” Kate growled, “Damn him to the pits of hell, he knew…he freaking knew she would be here.”

Jana frowned, “Of all the bloody nerves, I can’t believe he has the audacity to show up here, like this, out of the blue."

Kate rolled her eyes at Jana’s misplaced indignation, “Of course he would. He is Billy Abbott, after all.”

Jana had it right, but still, this was Billy Abbott, and as the silence engulfed the group, they all had the same thoughts. Gorgeous, arrogant, sexy, devilishly witty, Billy Abbott, the love of their friend’s life, and the man who broke her heart, was back in town.

“We have to get her out of here,” Amber said.

“Maybe you can pretend a headache,” suggested Jana. “You know, the stress of Kevin leaving, depressed you terribly and you began to feel pain in your head."

Kate looked at Jana as if she’d lost her mind, which wasn’t far from the truth. Jana was the out there one of their group. She was always having some psychic or mental thing that they all had to listen to, while eating tofu and doing yoga. Kate was surprised that she hadn’t suggested that she tell Lily that her spirit was attached to Kevin’s, and was splitting into small pieces, which resulted in her “headache.”

“Okay,” Jana replied seeing Kate’s look, “Maybe not. Well, you think of something.”

“Too late,” Amber said from the corner of her mouth, as she watched Lily approach, with a quizzical expression on her face. Amber knew that expression, and Lily didn’t waste a second, before she started grilling them.

“Spill it,” she said, arms folded beneath her breast.

“Spill what?” Kate asked, the only one other than Colleen, who could deflect Lily from her purpose. It was probably because, although they were all friends, Colleen, then Kate were her closest friends. They knew her better than anyone, well…just about anyone.

Lily fought the urge to tap her toe they way her mother used to, when she awaited her only child to come clean about whatever misdeed she’d done. “You guys better run off now,” Lily said in a dead on imitation of Kate's voice. “You didn’t even put up a fight. One minute you’re all, this is my party, and I need to be the center of attention.”

“I didn’t quite say it like that, it was more of a…”

Lily waved a hand, “It doesn’t matter. You get the point. So,” she said looking from one to the other. They were all here, well all except for Colleen, which didn’t make Lily, whose stomach was beginning to tighten a bit, relax at all. “Where is CC?”

“She’s,” Amber started.

“Over there,” Jana replied, “with her mum.”

“Traci.”

Lily looked over towards the rear of the hall, and saw Traci and Colleen, who was talking animatedly with her mother. Colleen looked a bit distressed, and Lily wondered if she should go over and see what was wrong. She took step in that direction.

“Where are you going?” Jana asked, bringing Lily up short.

“CC looks troubled.”

“Oh, she’s fine. But, um,” Amber said.

Lily wanted to smile, poor Amber, she could lie with the best of them, but when it came to Lily, she always seemed to find herself tongue tied. The arms that once rested beneath her breast, were moved to her hip, “Okay, what’s going on?”

Amber, Jana, and Kate exchanged glances. It was by silent communication that they decided Kate should be the one to tell Lily. “Lily there is something that we have to tell you.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Lily said, her words belying the feeling of bees swarming her senses.

“Well, you see, there really is no way to tell say this.”

This is bad…this had to be very bad. Kate was never flustered. She had the composure of a queen who’d spent years in the marines, or fighting battles across the ancient world. Kate could hold her composure while being robbed at gunpoint, and was always quick to act in an emergency, so the fact that she was flustered, gave Lily serious pause.

“Okay…just tell me.”

“Well,” Kate began.

“Hello, Lily,” said a strong male voice from behind her, which heated her senses to boiling, before dousing her body with ice water.

She stopped. Lily just stopped. One by one, all of her senses shut down, until there was nothing left. Just a body and the being inside, everything else had left her. She wasn’t sure how, and she knew that when she looked back on it later, she still wouldn’t know how she’d faced him. Slowly, as if a thousand tiny old rusted wires were moving her limbs, she turned around, looked up, and met the eyes of a man she’d loved more than she’d thought humanly possible, blinked, and then promptly fainted.

Billy spotted her the moment he’d entered the room, and how could he not, when she stood out like a Stargazer Lily in room full of garden variety daisies. In a sea of black, white and pastels, the magenta Grecian style gown she wore, was like a beacon for the eyes. Lily’s dress was bold and daring. Her hair swept up, exposing her graceful neck that just begged to be kissed. In the midst of the columns, lights, and vines that decorated the hall, Lily looked like a goddess who’d come down form Mt. Olympus to grace earth with her beauty. It was there, in the way she held herself; back straight, shoulders up, head held high, with a blinding smile on her lips. She had to know that she was the most beautiful woman in the room. And if she didn’t, her husband did.

Husband. He didn’t like it. In fact, he would go so far as to say that he hated it. Stopping a waiter with a tray of champagne, Billy tossed back one glass, and then held the waiter up, so that he could down two more, before telling the man to bring him back a real drink. He needed something strong for this. Nick, why did she marry Nick? Why did she marry him, of all the men in the world? Why did she have to marry Victor’s spawn? He still couldn’t believe that she married him, especially knowing their history. To say that he and Nick didn’t get along would be an understatement. They didn’t like each other, and although Nick was two years older, he and Billy had been in competition since the day he was born. It would have been a surprise if they hadn’t been. Nick was a Newman, and he was an Abbott. The two families did not get along, and that was the way it should be. It made sense. Abbott’s and Newman’s could coexist, but trying to do more was just asking for trouble. Which was why he couldn’t understand how Lily could marry Nick, when she knew better than anyone else, just how deep their rivalry went.

“Sir, will this do?” The waiter asked offering Billy a glass of scotch.

Billy nodded, removed the glass, thanked the waiter and turned back to view his prey, as he sipped his drink. He watched Nick smile down at her, and she returned the smile. Nick’s arm resting possessively around her waist, made Billy want nothing more than to break it. The thought made him smile. Nick wouldn’t be happy that he was back in town, and Billy couldn’t have cared less. He was going to enjoy it, seeing Nicks face, when he made his appearance.

“Uncle Billy! What…Why…Where…Oh God.”

Billy was slightly amused at his niece, who looked like a fish that tried to blink and fail.

“It’s good see your too CC.”

She glowered at him, “What are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

“No, you don’t, you live across the Atlantic, in London.”

“I’m here on business.”

“Fine,” she ground out, “But why are you here, at Kate and Kevin’s engagement party?” He shrugged, which Colleen found to both maddening, and typical of him. “You were not invited.”

“Oh, but I was. You see, I arrived in town yesterday, and stopped by the mansion to see Jack. I saw this invitation for the Abbott family on the coffee table, and since it didn’t specify a particular Abbott family member, well, I concluded that it was for the entire family and…I just couldn’t pass it up. I wouldn’t want to hurt Kate’s feelings.”

Colleen watched as her uncle's eyes drifted to his right. She followed his line of sight to see where he’d stopped, and groaned. Lily, of course this was about Lily. Ten years later, and everything was still about Lily. Too bad that it hadn’t been about her the day he ran off to “find himself”.

“Billy you need to leave,” she said grabbing his hand and pulling him behind a column. She had to get him out of here, and now. If Lily saw him, if Nick, Neil, or even Devon saw him, all hell would break loose.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said, letting her pull him along. “Why are we behind this column?” he frowned at the enormous thing blocking his view of Lily. “If you wanted me the leave, there is a door behind me.”

He’d come in the back entrance in order to avoid being announced. He wanted to announce himself to her, and not give her the opportunity to leave before he did. He couldn’t wait to see her up close, up…very close. He wanted to trace the strap of her dress from her left shoulder, across her collarbone, where it ended above her right breast. He wanted to dip his finger beneath the material, tugging the offending strap, and watching as the chiffon overlay rumpled, as it moved down her body, and ended in a puddle on the floor.

“Uncle Billy, are you listening to me?” Colleen said in annoyance, as she watched Billy bore holes into the column she’d drug him behind.

“Not especially.”

She folded her arms under her breast, causing the pale blue material to bunch up at her cleavage. “You need to leave…now.”

“Why? I’m not doing anything. I’m just standing behind this column, talking to my favorite niece,” he grinned.

“Uncle Billy, please don’t make a scene.”

Colleen was exasperated. She’d been talking to herself for three minutes, while her uncle seduced a column with his gaze. If the heat in his eyes was any indication of the reason he was here, in a ballroom, at an event that he’d more than likely avoid if a certain person weren’t here, then she knew that they were in trouble. And Lily, oh goodness, Lily was in big trouble.

“CC relax, I’m not going to embarrass anyone.”

“And why don’t I believe you?”

“Have a little faith,” He said motioning to JT, who came over and distracted his wife Colleen, so that he could make his escape.
***

“Lily.”

Billy watched Colleen looking down on Lily who must have finally awoken. He wanted to rush over to see how she was feeling, but held his peace in the back of the room, content… for now to let CC and Kate tend to her.

Lily blinked several times before fully opening her eyes, to see Kate, and Colleen staring down at her with matching expressions of concern on their face.

“Thank goodness,” Colleen said, “You gave us a bit of a scare.”

“A bit, do you have any idea what would have happened if you’d hit your head on floor?” Kate asked. “You could have died, or gone into a coma.”

Lily watched as Kate continued to lecture her on all the things that could have happened by her fainting. This was so unlike Kate, who acted as if she’d done it on purpose, which was beyond ridiculous. But why had she fainted? She didn’t even remember. Well, only vaguely. She was talking to the girls, all except CC, who’d been across the room talking to Traci. They were hiding something from her. She frowned. Yes, they’d been hiding something, and were about to tell her, when she’d heard… No, she couldn’t have. It couldn’t have.

“Is she okay?” Amber asked from the door of the sitting room.

Lily blinked again, trying to process her thoughts, as well as what was going on around her. She heard Amber, but she couldn’t see her. “Where’s Jana?” she asked.

“Making sure the party runs smoothly, and stopping Nikki from calling 911.”

“Nikki was going to call 911?” she coughed, her voice sounded harsh. How long had she been out?

“You know how she is about you,” CC said.

“I had to steal her phone, or she would have called Nick, who would have come in on his white steed, which is the last thing we need,” Kate said.

She was right. Her husband would’ve returned and insisted that he take her to the hospital. He would have taken her, with hopes that the doctor would tell them that she was expecting. It was a good thing that he wasn’t returning. She didn’t want to get his hopes up, which would have happened, and she’d have to see that look in eyes. That disappointing look he got, whenever her period came. She didn’t know why he was always so disappointed, when he knew that she took her pill everyday.

“Good…that’s good.” It was good, at least now. She would figure something out later, after she discovered exactly what had happened to cause her to faint.

“That’s what I told Colleen, who frowned, when I told her that I threw Nikki’s phone in the toilet.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Colleen said, shaking her head at Kate, who always had to go that one extra mile. It was to her credit that Restless Style had turned around after her dad and Lily’s mom, who co-founded the magazine, passed away in plane crash.

“I needed a guarantee.”

“Well it’s not like she couldn’t have used someone else’s phone.”

Lily watched somewhat amused by their bickering. She should get up, she needed to get up, but it just didn’t happen. She couldn’t seem to bring her body to move. She sighed, which caused the girls to stop and stare down at her.

“Do you need anything?” Colleen asked a frown creasing her brows.

“Yes, perhaps I could send for a bottle of Pellegrino?"

“That would be good. How…how long have I been out of it?”

Colleen and Kate exchanged glances and then said in unison, “Twenty minutes.”

“Twenty minutes!” Lily bolted up right in her seat, causing CC and Kate to back away. “Who does that?” Lily exclaimed, “Who faints for twenty minutes, and why don’t I have a headache?”

“Your head never touched the ground,” Amber volunteered from the door and received a withering glare from Kate, and exasperated one from Colleen. “Sorry.”

Lily was still confused. She didn’t understand why Kate looked as if she could slap Amber, while Colleen looked as if she wanted to pray for her. “Why did I faint? It wasn’t hot, and what does Amber mean by, my head never touched the ground?” Lily stared at her business partners and friends, who looked at each other, as if hoping one of them would throw the other a life line. “Did you catch me?”

“Not…Exactly,” said Colleen, who was looking at a spot over Lily’s shoulder.

“Well of course you didn’t, you were talking to your mom. Unless you have some Marvel super hero powers I don’t know about,” Lily laughed, and then froze when she heard, what she was sure was a distinctly male laughter.

“Oh great, she’s up,” Jana said coming to stand next to Amber in the door. “God, I was so worried that you hadn’t woken up yet. I was sure that I would have heard a bit more noise, when you saw that…”

“Jana,” Amber, Colleen and Kate screeched in unison.

“What?” Jana asked confused. Lily had to know that Billy was here. How could she not know, when the man was standing behind her, in the same spot he’d been in since, he’d carried her in here almost thirty minutes ago?

“Jana, perhaps I should explain,” Billy said from his corner of the room.

Lily froze, no… it couldn’t be, and yet that voice, answered every question that ran through her head. She listened as he continued to talk as if he were explaining the facts to a child.

“You see, Kate, and my darling niece, have yet to tell Lily that I am in the room. It’s been quite amusing to watch them flounder like fish on dry land,” He chuckled, and began to move slowly around the couch each step bringing him closer to object of his affection. “Lily on the other hand doesn’t, well, didn’t, seem to remember why she fainted, or why her head never touched the ground. Which I could have answered, but I was afraid that one of the little people, would jump over the couch and tackle me to the floor. I have an aversion to physically harming females…well, unless they ask me to.” He winked at Jana, whose mouth formed a tiny “O.”

Colleen rolled her eyes, “Really, Uncle Billy? Really?”

Billy grinned at his niece, and ignored Kate's complaint, when he slightly bumped her out of the way, in order to kneel down in front of Lily. His eyes ate her up. She was even more beautiful up close. The picture in the New Times society pages he’d seen in London, that brought him to this moment, couldn’t capture the exotic beauty that was Lily Winters. Her eyes were wide, the light in the room capturing the golden flakes that sparkled within them. Her rich golden skin, which was the softest he’d ever felt, was a tad pale, but that only gave her a hint on an ethereal glow. Billy was never a sap, but when it came to the woman before him, he could recite sonnets with the best of them.

“How are you?” he asked, his fingers itching to touch her again. It took all of his strength not to reach out and run his finger along the curve of her jaw.

Lily stared, not sure what he was asking her. She wasn’t even sure if he was real. She wanted to touch him, but she was afraid that he was real, and even more so that he wasn’t.

“Why,” she cleared her throat, “Why are you here?”

Throughout the seven years that they’d been apart, Billy had on occasion imagined what it would be like when he first saw Lily. But never in all of his imaginings, were those the first words she’d said to him. In his far fetched daydreams, he’d actually imagined her falling in to his arms, just not quite the way she had tonight, his very appearance causing her enough distress that she was unconscious for twenty minutes.

“I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

She scrunched up her face, “No…not here, why…?"

“I couldn’t let you fall,” he said deflecting her words. He wasn’t ready for her to push him away yet. The time would come soon enough.

“You…caught me?”

“Yes,” he said remembering how her eyes glazed over, right before her knees gave away and his arms instinctively reached out to grab her.

He’d picked her up in his arms, ignoring Kate’s protest that he should put her down. Yeah, like he would have left her to lay on the white marble floor. So he carried her out of the room, away from the gawking crowd that was beginning to form, and to a side room, where the waiter from earlier pointed him to. It felt so natural, holding her in his arms. It was as if the past seven years had never happened, as if he hadn’t been a selfish cad, who destroyed their relationship for his own selfish reasons. He sighed, it was best that he avoid that train of thought.

“You would have had nasty fall, if I hadn’t been there to catch you.”

“She wouldn’t have fallen, if you hadn’t been here,” Kate said from behind him.

Lily listened, but she couldn’t really process anything. She saw Billy’s lips move, and even heard the words he’d spoken, but none of it made sense. She stared at his lips, and watched them move. She remembered that they were soft, and incredibly moist, even in the driest weather. His thick lashes that matched his hair, were slightly lowered as he looked at her with eyes the color of the Pacific. His eyes were the only beautiful things about him. Billy was purely male, all hard lines, and refined bone structure. He was so unlike her husbands, whose features were male, but depending on his hair cut, could appear slightly effeminate. There was nothing feminine about Billy Abbott, who was one hundred and ten percent male. And he was here, in front of her, talking about saving her. Saving her from what? A fall on the floor? It might have been better, if she’d fallen. Perhaps the pain would have taken away from her, the sudden ache that started to spread from her mind down to her heart. She swallowed. Why was he here?

“Is she alright?” She heard someone ask. Jana, Amber, she wasn’t sure, which was ridiculous because neither sounded alike.

Colleen sat down next her on the couch, and said, “I think she’s in shock.” She took her hand and asked, “Lily are you alright?”

“Of course not, so stopping asking her that,” Kate said, who physically pushed Billy out the way so that she could sit on Lily’s other side. “If she was alright, she would be talking and not sitting here like a deer in the headlights.”

“I’m not deaf,” Lily said feeling disgruntled.

Why was he here? Why? Why now? Why ever? Why? The pain was coming, she could feel growing and spreading like a virus through her veins. She needed to get out of here and fast, because behind the pain, lay a thousand emotions, and ninety percent of them should be invalid when it came to Billy Abbott.

“I need to go home,” she said, turning away from Billy’s gaze.

She couldn’t handle the way he was looking at her. He didn’t have the right. No…he didn’t have the right to have that look in his eyes, the utter tenderness, that slipped into the bottom of her core, stirring the myriad of emotions that threatened to overtake her. She was going to cry soon, if she didn’t leave. She would embarrass herself and cry. She couldn’t do that, not here, not know, not ever again.

“I need to leave,” she reaffirmed and stood.

“Lily…Talk to me,” Billy said, watching as each emotion ran across her face, before she shut them down one by one.

“Billy, back off,” Kate said.

“Uncle Billy, please?”

“Lily,” Billy said ignoring them both, “Say something.” He wanted her to talk to him, to say anything other than ask him, why he was there. He’d be happy if she’d even say his name, actually acknowledge his presence.

“Move,” she said avoiding his gaze.

Billy stared down at her. He was upsetting her, he knew by the set of her chin and the sound of her voice. He was upsetting her and yet, he wasn’t ready for her to leave.

“Lily,” he started, but halted, when her hand made contact with his face with such force, that it snapped his head to the side.

Billy was shocked, and by the look on her face so was she, and the other occupants of the room who gave a collective gasp of surprise by her act of violence. Billy couldn’t believe that she’d slapped him. Lily, his Lily was an extremely nonviolent person. She hadn’t even slapped him, while he stood there breaking her heart.

“Billy,” she said, and if a single word could cause a man’s heart to bleed, the way she said his name nearly broke him in two.

He’d wanted to hear it, had been waiting for her to say it, to recognize him, but not like this, without a single drop of emotion. He did as she asked, and moved out of her path. She side-stepped him, making sure she never came into contact with him, putting enough space between them, so that not even her gown would accidentally touch him. He wanted to grab her, stop her, but he didn’t. There would be time enough for that. Tonight was just their reintroduction, and as he watched her disappear through the door, he knew that it could have gone better. He only hoped that it didn’t get any worse. Although, as he sat down on the couch in the very spot she’d vacated, just to feel the warmth from her body that still lingered on the seat, he knew that it would. He breathed her in. Her smell was there, soft and sweet, like a natural aphrodisiac. He didn’t know how he’d stayed away, and he knew that he couldn’t stay forever, but when he left, she was coming with him.
***

Yes, Billy thought, his eyes drifting close, as sleep finally came to claim him. Things were indeed going to get a hell of a lot worse. And god help Genoa City, because he was going to tear it apart, brick by brick, if he had to, because came hell or high water, husband or no, he was going after Lily with the ruthlessness of the titan he was, and taking down anyone who got in his way.

Billy smiled, leaning back in his chair. He tossed a silver ballpoint pen onto his desk, and observed his elder brother, who father time had been very kind to. "I'm not sure where you get your gossip Jack, but you're a bit off the mark."

"So you didn't pick her up, and carry her out of the room, and I quote, ‘like a handsome blonde knight in shining armor.'"

"Well...that part is true." He chuckled. "By the way, you really need to stop getting your gossip from Esther."

"What makes you think it was Esther?"

"Oh, I don't know, the handsome blonde knight part, might have tipped me off, or the fact that I know you had breakfast with my Mother."

"Guilty, but I can't believe Lily fainted." Jack shook his head. He knew his baby brother well enough to know that he'd enjoyed whatever scene had taken place Friday night. He just hoped enjoying was the only thing he intended to do during his stay in Genoa City. "I hope...you know what you're doing."

"Relax Jack," Billy smiled, remembering how right she felt in his arms, "I got this."

"Fine, just don't let this get in the way of our project," Jack said all jokes aside.

Billy picked up a small silver metal ball from his desk, and rolled it between his fingers. He'd purchased it years ago, after talking with a colleague, who said it helped him to think. He'd tried it, and discovered that it helped him decide his next choice of actions, or sometimes just helped him calm down when his temper would have gotten the best of him. "Jack, let us not forget that I brought the project to you, so I highly doubt that I will be screwing it up."

Jack watched the small ball roll from one finger to the next, before Billy palmed it. "There is a lot at stake."

"It's one company, Jack," Billy said standing up and making his way around the desk, where he sat on it, in front of his brother. "Symphonic Smells, is really an inconsequential company in the scheme of things." He continued when Jack through him a look, "However, it will be a good addition to Jabot."

"A good edition," Jack said at his brother's blasé attitude, "Organic fragrances and beauty products are all the rage. Acquiring this company would be a major boon for Jabot."

"And Newman," Billy said finishing his brother's thought. "You can say it Jack, we both know that the Mustache wants this company," and would probably bargain his son, or at least his son's wife for it, Billy added silently.

Jack didn't like the dangerous gleam in his brother's eyes. "You better not be using the company as way to get your ex-girlfriend back."

"Jack, Jack, Jack," Billy sighed, turning his impenetrable blue eyes on his brother, "Don't tell me what I better not do. You maybe the CEO of the domestic part of Jabot, but I am the king of the international market. The same market that has kept Jabot in the black and free of poachers the likes of Newman Enterprises, who would have swept in and stolen what our father worked so hard for. You know... like the last time, when you...were in charge."

"You've done-"

"I'm not finished," Billy said interrupting his brother. "I know it's been a while Jack, but I am not the same twenty-two year old who left here seven years ago, wet behind the ears and easily led. I am almost thirty years old, and although you are old enough to be my father, you are not."

Jack was quite certain that the look in his brother's eye was one that he'd never seen before. He'd never witnessed this side of Billy. He'd heard that his brother was ruthless in his dealings, but this, seeing it, was like meeting the man before him, for the first time. The old Billy would have smiled, or gotten angry and initiated an argument. This Billy, was quiet, he never once raised his voice, not even the slightest decimal. And yet each word held steel. Jack could say that in the almost thirty years he'd known his brother, he'd never been more proud of him. Jack steepled his fingers, "I understand. Just as long as you understand that if you attempt to use the company for your own personal quest, you and I will find out who's the top dog at Jabot."

"Some day," Billy said, and smiled although it never reached it eyes, "But not today."

The brothers stared at each other for an indeterminable time, both taking in the other, measuring what they knew about them, their strengths, and their weaknesses. But they knew, that no matter what happened between them, if any outsider stepped in the middle, they would be quick to have the other's back.

"Where are with the new fragrance?" Jack asked breaking their silent standoff. He was older, so it didn't make him feel any weaker for doing so.

"Everything is ready to go." Billy replied. "I spoke with Daniel, who assured me that the marketing for the new fragrance is ready to roll. We just need to buy up some ad space in the top women's magazines.

"And you're still sure about the name?"

"The name... is gold," Billy said resting his hand on the edge of the desk, "Besides, it's a bit late in the game, for a name change."

"Tiger Lily," Jack said shaking his head. "Don't you think it's a bit...well, obvious?"

"Jack, you called me four months ago, because your team couldn't come up with a proper name. And after smelling the fragrance, it was the first name to pop into my head." Billy could remember the first time he'd taken a whiff of the soft floral scent. It was as if they'd taken the bottle and slid it against her skin, capturing her essence to perfection. He didn't believe in signs, but after smelling the scent, and then seeing the picture of her a few weeks later, he knew in some cosmic way, that he was sure Jana could describe for him in detail, Lily was calling to him, and Billy intended to answer. "It fits, and that's all that matters."

Billy was right. The name oddly fit the smell of the fragrance. It hadn't even occurred to Jack at the time, that Billy was naming the fragrance the same pet name he'd given his ex-girlfriend, one Lily Amanda Winters. Jack remembered his brother calling her his Lily, or his Tiger Lily. No matter what the name, Billy always called her his. Shit, Jack thought to himself, Nick was going to shit a brick. Jack stood, preparing to make his exit. "Promise me something."

"Tell me, and I might oblige you," Billy said walking with his bother towards the door. He grabbed his navy blue jacket of the hook, and slid it on as he walked with Jack down the hallway towards the bank of elevators, silently awaiting his brother's request.

"Promise me that you will take her feelings into account, before you bulldoze your way back into her life."

"Whatever I do," Billy pressed the down button, "I'm doing it with her feelings in mind." The elevator doors opened.

Jack stood back to let Billy enter. "And why don't I believe you?" he asked, watching his brother walk into the elevator.

Billy turned, pressed the button for the garage and stared at his brother, "And why don't I care?" he asked as the doors closed in Jack's face.

***
Lily Winters wasn't having the best day. It wasn't as if anything major had happened. No one had been rude to her. The magazine hadn't suffered any surprise losses. Everything was the same as it was everyday. Well almost everything. She sighed, and swiveled around to look out the window in her office. Everything wasn't really the same. He was back in town, and everyone knew it. She'd come in to work this morning, to find her entire staff, well at least those that were present at 8:00am, congregating in one corner of the office whispering about her. She didn't have super hearing powers, but she'd known that they where discussing her, by the simple fact that they'd stopped, and scampered away at her entrance, like naughty children being caught by their mother. Although, it could have very well been that they should have all been working, and not standing around chit chatting, but she'd known. She'd felt their eyes following her around the room, down the hall and into her office, with mixture of curiosity, smugness, and sympathy. Her assistant, Georgie hadn't even been able to look her in the eyes.

Why had she fainted? It wasn't as if he'd come back from the dead. He'd been alive all these years, living it up in London, and she'd known it. Her reaction to him hadn't made any sense. Billy Abbott was just...He was just... "Ugh," she said frustrated beyond all reason. The man had broken up with her to go off and "be free." His words, not hers, and here she was acting as if he were some deity, who was so magnificent that he left her speechless, and unable to form a coherent thought. Why was he back? She'd been asking herself that very question, since the moment she'd woken up on that couch, and all through the weekend. The weekend that she'd spent trying her hardest, to convince her husband, who hadn't even so much as mentioned the incident, that she was fine. She'd been grateful to Nick for not asking her about her silly fainting spell. He'd kissed her forehead, when she'd awakened the next morning and asked if she was okay. She assured him that she was, and they left the matter at that. It was the truth, because there was nothing to say, she fine. She was, she really was, now if only she could convince her heart of that, because every time she thought of him, her heart squeezed, and her mind shut down.

"Lily," Georgie called from the door, addressing her boss by her first name, since Lily hated Georgie calling her by her married one. She said it made her feel old, which was ridiculous being that Lily was only twenty four. It may have had more to do with the fact that Georgie was two years younger.

Lily started, at the sound of Georgie's voice. It was so unlike Georgie, to stick her head in her in office door, when she could have just paged her. "Yes, George what is it?" Once she'd turned around.

"Sorry, I wasn't sure if you were still in here," at Lily's look of confusion she said, "I rang, but you didn't answer.

Lily flushed, "I'm sorry, I was...I'm sorry. Was there something that I could do for you?"

"Mr. Newman called. I dialed your extension several times, and even I told him that I would check your office, but he said that he had to run into a meeting, and would call you when he got out."

"Fine, thank you Georgie," Lily said, feeling her stomach churn. He was checking up on her, making sure that she didn't...she thought and then berated herself for thinking such a thing. It wasn't as if Nick didn't call her everyday, when she as at work. He always called her, just to tell her that he loved her. Nick was thoughtful that way, and she loved him for it. Yes, she loved him...Nick, she loved her husband. "Was that all?"

Georgie bit her lip, not really sure how to say this next part to her boss, who'd been half way out it all day. "Um, no, ma'am," Lily blinked at the ma'am, Georgie only called her ma'am, when she as nervous. What on earth did Georgie have to be nervous about? Lily thought, although she didn't have long to find out, when George said, "There is a Billy Abbott to see you."

Of course, Lily thought, of course there was, and why not, her day wasn't going all that great to begin with, might as well add a little carbon dioxide to her already poisoned atmosphere. "Does he have an appointment?"

"No,"

"Well then...He needs to make an appointment."

"I told him that."

"And he..."

"He said," Georgie started with a blush, her pale pink cheeks turning crimson, "That you two," she cleared her throat, "Were old friends, and that you wouldn't mind the intrusion."

How typical, Lily thought.

"And that he wanted to... get...reacquainted," Georgie said avoiding her boss' eyes, "With you."

Lily wasn't sure why George was so flustered by that, but on second thought knowing Billy, those words probably held a thousand and one innuendos that would make a farm girl like Georgie blush. Hell, Lily even felt her own skin beginning to get warm at the thought of how his eyes probably looked as he conveyed the message. "Please inform Mr. Abbott, that I have a busy afternoon, and will be unable meet with him today. If he would like to meet me at a future date, then he needs to go about the proper channels."

"Why?" said a lazy voice from her door, "You don't look busy." His eyes swept over her, starting at her loose curly hair, and moving to the top of the blue wrap dress that revealed a small hint of her cleavage, to her folded arms resting on her desk and ending at the six carat diamond on her left hand. Well at least they were wearing the same colors, he thought, as he strolled into her office, dismissing her assistant with wave of his hand, and taking a seat on the small beige couch perpendicular to her desk.

Lily looked at Billy, who looked perfectly relaxed, as if he didn't have a care in the world. She turned to Georgie, "That will be all." Georgie paused at the door, as if she was unsure if Lily really meant it. "Georgie..."

"What should I tell Mr. Newman...if he calls back?"

"Nothing" Lily replied sitting up straighter in her desk. She could handle him. Billy...Billy was her past, and no one to get bent out of shape over. "If, my husband calls, please...put him through."

"Yes ma'am." She said, exiting the room. She didn't think that it was possible to choke on testosterone, but she'd felt it coming off Mr. Abbott in waves, when Lily said the words "my husband." Georgie was certain, that whatever was in their past, was about to be brought into their present.

***

"Colleen," Kate said startling CC, who'd been looking at some of the layouts for their up coming issue.

"My god Kate," Colleen said, putting one hand over her heart. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"What's the point? You still would have jumped. You were so busy with those layouts that you didn't even hear him."

"It's called work, and what are you talking about?" Colleen asked confused. "Who didn't I hear?"

"Your jerk of an uncle, that's who."

"Billy, my Uncle Billy is here?" Colleen pushed back her chair so hard, that she nearly fell over.

"Uh, yeah...How many jerk uncles do you have?"
Colleen rolled her eyes, as she walked around her desk to meet Kate, who was standing in the center of her office. "What is he doing here?"

"Yeah, I really spend my time keeping track of Billy Abbott."

"It was a rhetorical question," Colleen ground out.

"I know."

Colleen didn't have time for this. She loved Kate, she really did. Colleen and Lily had met Kate fifteen years ago, when she'd come home for the Christmas holiday. They hadn't hit it off right away, thanks in part to Kate's particular brand of humor, but slowly, over time, they'd built a up a strong friendship. One that was so strong, that after two years of letters, and short visits, Kate had rebelled one summer break, by refusing to return to her Connecticut Boarding school. Her mother, Esther, had relented thanks in part to the three girls protesting, by locking themselves in the Carlton attic, refusing to come out until their demand was met. Colleen's father, Brand Carlton, could have called the locksmith, but didn't bother, because Kate, in all her wisdom, had boarded up the door from the inside, which would have made it pointless. They'd all been grounded, but it hadn't mattered, because in the fall, Kate joined her two best friends at Walnut Groove Academy.

"Fine, where is he?"

"Colleen seriously," Kate said, "Where do you think he is?"

"Oh no," Colleen groaned. She'd known, but she had to ask. There was a small part of her that hoped he'd be waiting outside, wanting to take her to lunch. Stupid, she knew it was stupid, but it was better than the alternative.

"Oh yes."

"We need to intercept him. Is he already there?" Colleen wanted to head him off at the pass.

"Yep," Kate said, and then sat down in one of the two matching Georgie O'Keefe inspired wing chairs.

"Why...Why are you sitting down?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"You came into my office, startled the wits out off me to tell me that my uncle is here, more than likely trying to seduce our best-friend..."
"I didn't say anything about him trying to seduce her."

Colleen ignored her, "And you just sit down, as if we don't have a care in the world."

"What do you want me to do? I went by her office, and he was already inside." Kate said making herself more comfortable. "Do you think I just stood there, and waited?" She didn't wait for a response. "No, I ran out my office, as soon a Rafe told me that he was in the building, but I was too late. And may I just add, that it is not easy running in five inch stilettos."

"I'm sorry for your plight," Colleen commented sarcastically. "You could have at least gone in there."

"And say what?" Kate asked, crossing her legs. "Hey asshole, get out...and leave my friend alone."

"It wouldn't have hurt." Colleen sighed and sat in the chair next to Kate.

"It would have embarrassed her." Kate knew that Lily wouldn't have appreciated being treated like a child who couldn't handle her own problems. She'd gotten enough of that from all of the men in her life. She didn't know what it was about Lily that made just about every man who came into contact with her, want to protect her.

"You're right," Colleen said looking over at Kate, whose head was tilted up towards the ceiling.

Kate sighed, she'd usually take this as an opportunity to say that of course she was, she was always right, but she just didn't feel the urge. "She can handle him."

"Yeah,"

"She'll be alright."

"Yeah," Colleen sighed, easing down in the chair, copying Kate's position "So, what do we do?"

"Wait...We wait," Kate said, sliding her legs down, so that they were stretched out in front of her.

"She'll be fine," Colleen said, following her lead.

"Yeah," Kate said, but neither was truly convinced, as they sat in silence, listening as the clock tick the seconds away of Lily's past, moving her into an uncertain future.

My Husband. Those two words were enough to cause Billy's blood to simmer. He hated the way she said it, so matter of fact, and with purpose. She could have easily said, Nick, but she wanted to remind him that she was married. Billy didn't know why she bothered, when he really didn't care. Nicholas Newman was a tiny bee, who'd been buzzing around His flower for way too long. And just like a bee, Nick only had one sting, one chance, to do some damage, before he was put out of commission. Billy sighed, perhaps little Victor would surprise him. He highly doubted it, but he hoped, oh yes, he hoped.  His victory would be that much sweeter, if Nick put up a good fight. However, Billy was more than certain that the woman before him would pose a much greater challenge. She was not happy to see him, and that he did care about. He frowned.  He would have to be very careful in the way he dealt with her. She was his true weakness, and he would have to be just as ruthless with her, as he was with everyone else, or she would sense it, and go in for the kill. Lily Amanda Winters just didn't realize the power she had over him.

"So, are going to say something, or are going to continue to ignore me?" she asked slightly perturbed.

Billy looked up at Lily, who was standing next to her desk, hands on her hip. He hadn't even realized that she'd gotten up.

"Well,"

"Well what?" he asked, and at her glower added, "Come, sit down," he patted the seat next to him.

"No, thank you." As if she'd sit next to him. Ha, he'd like that. So that he could...not going to happen. She was going to stay over here, where it was safe. Sit next to him indeed, when it was taking a considerable effort on her part, to even stand in the same room.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to have another...accident," he said, smiling at the memory of her in his arms. "I'm fast, but not that fast. I wouldn't want you to hit your pretty head on the edge of that desk."

"I..." she started, crossing her arms over her chest, "I am fine, and I assure you Mr. Abbott, that I do not now, or ever intend on fainting."

"Again," he added, glancing from her face, to admire the handsome amount of cleavage now showing because of her new position.

Lily took a deep breath.  Breath in, breath out, she thought.  Oh God, was she feeling lighted headed? Maybe she should sit. No, no, she was fine. She was. She really was fine. She wanted to scream.  Why was she letting him get to her? He hadn't really said anything, and yet here she was second guessing herself, because he said so. He said that she might faint, but she wouldn't.  It was just a little warm in here, that was all. She was fine.  She really was.

Billy saw the tiny frown that marred her brow. She always did that, when she was trying to organize her thoughts. She did it a lot when she was studying, or had a problem that she couldn't solve. She would be so focused on whatever was going on in her head that she'd forget that he was even in the room.  He used to take one finger, and run it across her brow in an attempt to smooth it out, which would usually cause her to blink and then blush. Her eyes abashed, he would kiss her forehead and ask her to tell him about it. Today he didn't need to ask her what was on her mind, when he was more than likely the answer. But that didn't mean that his fingers didn't itch to trace their past, and follow it with his lips.

"Thank you for your concern, but I am fine," she said slightly leaning on the desk. "Now please state your purpose."

"Wow, why so hostile?" he said holding up his hands in mock surrender. As if he would, this early in the game.

"I am," she paused, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "I...am not hostile," she said calmly.  

"Really...State your purpose?" He said in a high pitched voice.

"I do not sound like that," she said tightening her folded arms, which pushed her breasts up even higher.

"I was joking," he said trying to hold eye contact, but finding it extremely difficult. Calm down, this is only the beginning, he told himself. His blood was pumping faster and faster as he watched her breasts rise and fall with every breath she took. She was playing peek-a-boo with him, and didn't even know it. Keep you eyes on the prize Abbott, throwing her on that desk and making love to her is not part of the plan. Well at least not at this early stage.

"Well you're not funny."

"That's not what you used to say."

"I used to say a lot of things, that I don't say anymore," she remarked feeling a bit calmer. She could do this, she could handle Billy Abbott.

"Yeah?" he asked straitening up, and slightly adjusting his pants, so as not to apprise her of the bulge growing there. He felt nineteen again, barely experienced, and madly in love and in lust with a tiny caramel vixen, who didn't even know the power she had over the male species. Lily, only his Lily had the power to make him hard by simply looking at from under her lashes. Only his Lily, at the tender age of fifteen, had the power to make him stop, without so much as a protest, even as his balls turned blue, just by looking at him with doubt filled eyes. "What's changed?"

"A lot," she said simply, not wanting to discuss her life with him.

"Wow...that just blew me away," he said sarcastically.  "Well young lady," he said in a terrible imitation of a German accent, "What have you learned from your mistake?"

Lily rolled her eyes, he was so...Billy.

"I learned," he said in a high pitched female voice. "Yes," he said switching back to the other voice, "What, what did you learn?" He returned to the female voice, "I learned a lot."

"You're not..." she was lying, and they both knew it. It took all of her power not to giggle.

"Funny, I know" He said, staring at the left side of her bottom lip, which rested between her teeth. She was going to fight him every step of the way. "So tell me."

"What,"

"Come on TL," he said using the initials of her pet name, "You might have changed, but you still know me well enough to know that your answer isn't going to satisfy," he said uttering the last word softly, "me."

He needs to leave, thought Lily, as she removed her hands from under breast to rest of the edge of the desk.  "I don't really care if that answer satisfies you or not." And she didn't, she only wanted him to leave. She sighed, "Billy..." finally ready to ask the question she'd been asking herself for the past three days. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting you, what does it look like?" he said, with an easy grin on his handsome face.

"I don't have all day, either tell me what you want, or get out," she stated firmly, surprising herself. "This is my place of business, and if you didn't come here to discuss a business matter, then please leave." She was tired. Tired of feeling flustered, tired of feeling as if she were standing in twelve feet of water, without a drop of air to sustain her. She was tired of the ache that began again, moving it's way through her body, making her nervous, jittery, and...nostalgic. She wasn't sure how she felt, but she was tired of feeling, and that was the only thing Billy Abbott did. He made her feel a thousand emotions, which where so old, that they were practically foreign to her, in regards to him. She eased up from the desk, "Look, I don't have time to play with you."

"Play?" Billy questioned. "You-don't-have...time-to," he said each word carefully, as if measuring them for their validity. "Play-with me." He stood up, "Is that what you've been doing?" He began to walk towards her, slowly, and methodically. Each step was measured before the next one was taken.  He wanted her to be able to count the number of steps it would take, before he was standing in her personal space.  

Lily swallowed, and held her ground. Although it wasn't like she could go any where, with the desk touching her thighs. She wasn't sure if she could move even if she wanted to. He moved with grace for a man his size. Billy wasn't a small man or a large one either. He had a medium build, with broad shoulders and back, and stood at six feet even. His eyes held hers, teasing, probing, daring. She tightened her arms over her chest again, this time hoping they would warn him off. This was her ‘I'm not in the mood' stance. Nick knew to back up when she stood with her arms folded tight under breasts, so it stood that Billy would know too...Right?

"Let me assure you, that I didn't come here to play," he said stopping a few steps in front her. Four, he thought, it would only take four steps for them to be toe to toe.   

"Then...why did you come here?" she said tightening her arms reflexively.

He looked from her face and then boldly down at her cleavage, "You know," he took another step, "you really shouldn't do that, unless you want me to take you up on the offer you're so carelessly presenting." He said in a low voice that ran up and down her skin like tiny pine needles, soft on the sides, and prickly at the point.  

"I am not offering you anything."

He smiled. His eyes went to her cleavage, which caused her to look down and gasp. She removed her hands as if she'd been burnt. No wonder he'd said that, her breasts were nearly escaping her top, which was a trial, because she didn't have large breasts.

He gave a dramatic sigh, "I guess the offer's off the table."

She gritted her teeth. This man, this...Person, he was, "There was never an offer on the table."

"Really?  It didn't look that way to me," he said lazily staring at her breasts.

Lily was angry, she was really angry. Who in the hell did he think he was? He comes back into her life, after seven years, and ogles her goodies, as if he has the right. As if...as if it were his God given right. "The only person, who would be made any type of an offer, is Nicholas Newman, you know...my husband." She smiled. Loving that she'd wiped that stupid grin off his face. She could do this, she could handle him....She could, she really could.

Billy sighed again, shaking his head sadly. His sweet, delectable, love, didn't have a clue as to what was about to happen. She could scream that she was married to him a thousand times, and it would still have the same effect on him. One, pissing him off, and two making him hell bent on destroying said marriage. Billy was a bastard, he knew it. Hell, he was sure that there were many other expletives that could be used to describe him. After all, what kind of man sought to purposefully destroy someone's marriage? A man who was crazy in love, lonely without it, and empty because he'd so carelessly discarded it.  He didn't have anything to lose, only someone to gain. He didn't have her, so he couldn't loose her, and he was determined not to ever again.

"What?" she asked breaking into his thoughts, "Billy...why, are you shaking your head?"  

He loved the way she said his name, whether angry, loving, or in the throws of passion, his names always sounded like music on her lips.

"Billy?"

"Lily," he mocked taking another step forward.

"Why are you here?"

"I came to see you," he answered honestly. Seeing her up close that night, holding her in his arms, even if she wasn't aware of it, had haunted him all weekend. He'd wanted to do something foolish, like go to her house, park outside, and wait to get a single glimpse of her again. Since that fateful day, when he saw her picture in that magazine, her image had been branded on his brain. She was everywhere and in everything. Lily was never too far from his thoughts, even when he didn't acknowledge the tear stained face, which had been haunting, since the day he'd broken her heart, and killed his in the process.   

"Why?" She said automatically crossing her arms over her chest.

Billy smiled, he couldn't help. His Lily was determined to have him blow his plans to hell, by picking her up, and ravaging her on top of her desk, everyone be damned. "You know, I just wanted to catch up."  He said taking another step closer. One step, just one step, and he would be in her personal space, and she his.

"Catch up?" she asked, shifting uncomfortably at his close proximity.

"I just want to talk to you."

"What...what would we have to talk about?"

"I don't know anything, everything. For god's sake Lily, it's been seven years."

"I know exactly how many years it's been," she said finding her backbone, which had vacated her, from the moment she'd seen him, but no more. No more. How dare he come into her office, and disrupt her life, as if they were old friends? "I haven't heard from you in seven years Billy, seven years, not a hello, how are, are you still alive, and now...after all this time, you want to catch up." She was angry. She felt it spreading throughout her entire body, like molten lava. It was so acute, that she was certain if provoked, even the slightest, she might actually hit him again.

Billy was silent. He'd rarely seen Lily angry. She'd gotten angry, but not this angry, not where he could feel it coming off of her in waves, building like a tidal wave ready to crash. "Lily..."

"No," she said. "No, you don't get to talk. You are going to stand there, and listen to what I have to say, and when I am finished, you are going to leave my office, and never darken my door step again."

He sighed, he could tell her that it wasn't going to happen, but he held piece.  She'd find out soon enough.

She took a deep breath, needing to calm herself. She could feel the blood pumping through her veins, her heartbeat increasing. "You showed up at an event, when you knew you weren't invited, just so that you could cause a scene. You wanted to see my first reaction to your reappearance in my life, without me having the slightest knowledge of your presence in Genoa City. Unprepared, you wanted me vulnerable, and unprepared," she said. "I know you Billy.  I know you very well, and although the man before me isn't as warm as the boy I used to know, I still know you, or at least things about you." Her anger grew more and more with each word. The need to say this to him was so strong that it nearly buckled her knees. "But you see, it turns out that I really didn't know you at, did I?"

"Lily,"

"Did...I?" she said, her voice rising slightly. Her emotions where taking over, and she let them. It felt good, so...very good.  "After three years, three years of loving you, two years of giving myself completely to you and a year...a year of fighting to be with you." Her hands clinched into fists at her side. "It turns out, that in all that time...all those years, I never knew you...really, really knew you. "

"You do..."

"Shut up," She said taking a step forward. "If I knew you, then I would have known that you were going to get tired of me...tired of us."

"Lily, it wasn't like that."

"Oh, really?" she said sarcastically.  "So it wasn't you who said, that I need more. I need to get out of Genoa City, and be...free. I can't do this anymore. I feel as if I need to explore something else." She tapped a finger under her chin, "I think that's it. Although, I may have inverted a word here or there, I don't know it's been...seven years.

"Lily?" Billy said, feeling his own anger grow, as she recited part of the last conversation he'd had with her.

"Maybe...maybe I just don't remember anything," she said, hands now resting on her hips. "So tell me Billy, did I leave anything out?" He didn't answer, "What's this?  I thought you wanted to talk. I mean, we have soooo much to catch up on. It has been seven" she stopped and breathed out the last word, "years."  She stared into his eyes, eyes that she could always read, but now, she wished she couldn't. There was so much...regret in them, that it caused her physical pain. They were too close.  They were much too close. She made to step back, but he brought her up short, when one of his hands wrapped around the top of her left arm.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he began.

"It doesn't matter," she said tiredly, trying to step out of his grip. She couldn't take him touching her, not like this, not with the regret in his eyes. She would have preferred the arrogant man who'd walked through her door. The man that looked like her first love, but seemed so far removed from the easy going, hot tempered, cocky, bad boy she used to love. But this man, this man in front her, well...he was Her Billy. He was the Billy who'd looked down at her in an open field, and told her he loved her. He was the Billy who didn't pressure her into having sex, and always stopped, whenever they tried, and knew that she wasn't ready, even when she protested that she was. Billy...Her Billy, who she had loved more than life itself. Stupid teenage love, stupid blind love, stupid all consuming love. She'd been stupid, so stupid to give him not only her heart, but her soul, and all that she was, and all that she would ever be.

She turned away, she could feel the tears gathering, and she didn't want to cry. She swallowed hard, pushing back the tears with everything that she had, and then turned back to face him. "I'm not going to do this with you."

He reached out finger and a caught the single tear that escaped from her eye. "You have to."

She watched mesmerized as he took her tear, and pressed it against his lips. "I don't want to," she said in a small voice.

"I know," he said staring into her bottomless brown eyes. "And we won't," he couldn't press her any further today. There would be other times, but not today. Today was just a testing of the waters, and those waters were dark, and deep. Her pain at his betrayal, and the emotions stirred awake by his presence, had only just resurfaced. It was too fresh, much too fresh for her to talk with him now, even if only as a "friend." Yes, he would be ruthless with her, but not today, he loved her too much to continue today. "I'm sorry my presence upset you."

"Billy..."

"But I am not going anywhere. I'm back in Genoa City, and I am going to stay as long as it takes." He said, stepping aside and departing without looking back. It was the second time that he'd walked away from her, both times, using all of his strength not to look back.

Lily replayed his last words in her head, as she stumbled to her desk as if she were drunk, and slid down into her chair. She felt drained, emotionally, physically, and mentally drained.  "What?" she thought, leaning back in her chair, her feet stretched out in front her, head tilted back, with her eyes closed. "As long as what takes?"  She took a deep breath, hoping that her instincts were wrong, because what they were screaming would not do. It simply would not do.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Past~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lily wait up," Kate called, practically running after Lily, who was walking speedily down the hall towards the gymnasium.

"I can't, we're going to be late for practice."

"She acts like that's the end of the world," Kate said to a Colleen, who followed in silence, smiling at Kate's disgruntled expression.

"Not for you, you've already made the team."

"And I can assure you, that it's not that big of a deal."

Lily didn't respond, just sped up, until she practically ran through the gym doors. She had to make the team. Walnut Groove had one of the best dance squads in the state, and she was determined to make the squad. Lily knew that it wasn't going to be easy. She was a freshman, and Mrs. Parker rarely picked freshman for the team. She usually preferred for students to at least be a sophomore, before they tried out. Colleen and Kate made the squad a month ago, during the first round of tryouts, which were only for sophomores and juniors. Today was the last day of the second round.

"Of course you would say that, when you didn't want to join anyway."

"But I did," Kate said, following Lily into the girl's locker room, where they proceeded to change clothes.

"Yeah," Colleen replied, "but only grudgingly, and only because you were out voted."

"That's because I have better things to do, than join a dance team." Kate said, sliding on her top, "It's just...I don't know, so cliché.'

"Not really," Lily said sliding on her tennis shoes, "Cheerleading would have been more cliché.

Kate groaned, "Yes, which is why I choose this, because you two," she said pointing at them, "wanted to have the full high school experience, and insisted that we do something active together, and since I am not playing a sport, well...this was it."

"And you will never let us forget it," Colleen said, leading the way out of the room.

"Not on your life," Kate ground out, as the girls headed to the dance room.

Lily laughed, and smiled happily, relaxing with each step, because she was going to make it.

"Lily," Colleen called, after they were almost to the room, "Where's your bracelet?"

Lily looked down at her arm, and groaned. "Oh no!"

The platinum charm bracelet that matched the ones Colleen and Kate were now looking at on their respective arms, was missing. She never took it off...They never took them off. Her mother had given them the bracelets two years ago for Christmas, and their families always bought them matching charms for their birthdays. They had six charms total.

"No, this can't be happening."

"Lily, relax, it's going to be alright," CC said stopping Lily, who was looking around the floor frantically for her bracelet.

"Yeah, calm down," Kate said, putting one hand on Lily's shoulder to stop her from moving. "Look, you probably just left in the locker room. We'll go back and look for it there."

"Yeah, Kate's right, it probably slipped off when you were changing.

"Ok, but I'll go alone," Lily replied. She had to find that bracelet, she just had to.

"What?" Kate asked.

"No, Lily we'll go with you."

Lily sighed, "Look, there's no use in you guys being late too."

"Lily..."

"No, you guys might get kicked off the team. I don't want to be the reason that you lose your places on the squad too."

"Like I care,"

"Kate, you are not helping,"

"What? I'm just being honest."

"Well, don't."

"Fine," Kate conceded. Her arms held akimbo. Like she wanted to be on this squad in the first place, she sighed, but Lily did. "Look, we'll just tell Mrs. Parker what happened.

"Yes, you and Colleen can tell her where I am, and maybe she won't be too angry."

"Lily," Colleen attempted to argue, but stopped. She knew it was useless to argue with Lily, who she could tell was three seconds from panicking. "Fine, we'll go."

"But if you aren't in there in ten minutes, we are coming to help you."

"Ok," Lily said smiling at her BFF's.

Reluctantly and with their feet dragging Kate and Colleen continued down the hall, while Lily sprinted off in the opposite direction.

***

Billy was beyond ready to fly the coop that was Walnut Grove Academy. It wasn't the prison that his European Boarding school had been, but it wasn't much better. Three years, his mother had only given him three years at a regular high school. And if he hadn't started acting out, just to get her attention his ninth grade year, he'd still be there. He'd been alone, lonely, and secluded away from everyone and everything, all because his mother couldn't be bothered. His father had wanted him to stay with them, but she had convinced him that he would get a better education at the prestigious Larkin Park Academy in Scotland.

"Abbott, are you coming to practice or not?" asked Jeffrey Todd Hellstrom.

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing?" Billy snapped at the arrogant prick standing next to him.

"Like you're about to crawl into a little ball, and cry for your mommy."

"Fuck you, Hellstrom."

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Nah, but I tongued yours down pretty good."

"You mother..."

"Exactly," Billy grinned and then ducked, when JT took a swing at him.

"Cool it, you two," Raul said stepping in between an angry JT and Billy, who was grinning at him. Why did Billy have to always push, it was as if he wanted JT to smash his face in. Although Raul was sure that Billy could handle his own. He was the state wrestling champion in his weight class. "We need to get to practice."

"I was heading to practice," Billy said walking away, ignoring the many expletives that JT called after him. Billy couldn't stand JT. He didn't even know why he put up with the pretty boy, who was more trouble than Billy was. It was probably because Billy didn't like most of the people in the school. They were too stuck up and phony for his tastes. He wasn't a social butterfly by nature, although he played the part so well, that he even convinced himself.

 He didn't know why he'd joined the basketball team. It wasn't as if he could really play. He did okay as a center, and he could shoot a good three pointer, but those were the extent of his basketball skill. And yet sports, basketball, football, and wrestling, which was his favorite of the three, had kept him sane, in a world of insanity, a world that would be coming to a close in a few short months.

He looked down at his watch. He had plenty of time to change and get to practice. He sighed, "Why the hell was everyone so uptight?" He thought, as he drew closer to the gym. He was almost to the door, but stopped, when he spotted something out of the corner of his eye. Picking it up, Billy examined the tiny charm bracelet that must belong to a child, it was so small. There were six charms attached, a butterfly, a flower, a shoe, a bear, a purse, and a unicorn. Billy stared at the charms closely; they looked so familiar to him. "Butterflies," his niece Colleen loved butterflies. Come to the think of it, he was sure that she had a bracelet like this one. And yet, he wasn't so sure that it was hers. He studied the bracelet. The charms all seemed familiar, all except the flower. He was certain that CC had a rose, and this flower, with its pointed petals was definitely not a rose.

He ran his fingers over the delicate charm. There was so much detail in the platinum and tourmaline flower. It reminded him of a flower he'd seen in his Grandmother Katherine's garden. He wasn't a botanist, so he wasn't even going to try to and think of the name.  It really didn't matter, because he was sure that some girl was freaking out right now, and it was more than likely his niece.

"Crap," he said to the empty hall, turning towards the direction of dance room. He began a brisk walk to where he knew Colleen should be. He was sure Mrs. Parker wouldn't appreciate him interrupting her practice, but he found that he really didn't care. CC probably wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway. And if it wasn't hers, then he'd put it in his locker, and turn it into the office in the morning. And if it was CC's, well his little niece would owe him, and he was going to collect. He smiled, now what did CC have that he wanted?" he thought as he turned a corner.

Oomph

Billy's felt the air rush from his lungs at the impact, but it wasn't enough to stop his quick reflexes, which stopped the other person for falling to the ground.

"Ouch," she said, her head hitting his chest. Lily groaned, she felt as if she'd just made a wrong turn into a brick wall, and would have bounced off said wall, and onto the floor, if not for the large hand wrapped securely around her upper arm. It had to be a boy, because no girl could have a grip this tight. "Thank you," She needed to step back, she was feeling a bit...weird.

There's wasn't much of a body pressed to him, Billy thought, but it was definitely feminine. He could feel her small breasts pressed against his chest, and smell the vanilla scent coming off the curly ponytail atop her head. He breathed her in, god she smelt...delicious. He wondered if she looked as good, and smiled for certain when he heard her speak. Lily, he thought, of course it was Lily. He would know that voice anywhere, the soft feminine voice that always ran over his skin, and heightened his senses with each word she spoke. "You're welcome."

"Billy," She said looking up, to meet his smiling blue eyes.

"The one and only," he said grinning down at her, while trying to stop the now frantic beating of his heart, that picked up the minute he glanced into her amber eyes. Billy didn't know why he was so attracted to this skinny little elfin creature, but he was, and had been from the moment he'd met her at the beginning of the school year. CC used to always talk about her best-friend, but Billy hadn't really paid much attention. He'd seen her before, at one picnic or another, but they'd never officially met, and she'd been, a kid to him. She was still a kid, a skinny kid, with a pointy nose, a stubborn chin, and large cat like eyes. Not the color, the almond shape that tilted up just the tiniest bit in the corners.

"Oh," she said stepping back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"Run me over?"

"I didn't...Are you hurt?"

He laughed. She was too adorable He couldn't remember the last time anyone had shown concern for him, the way she was now. She'd almost bounced off of him, and here she was asking if he was alright. "I'm fine, how about you?" He hoped that he hadn't hurt her, which was why he still had his hand around her arm. Yeah, that's the reason, his consciences chimed in.

"I'm fine," She said looking up under her lashes at him. Why was he still holding her arm, and was it her imagination or did the temperature in the hall rise by ten or twenty degrees? She moved, tugged her arm, needing to step away from him. He must have gotten the message because he let go, which allowed her to take a much needed step back. "Um, well, I should be going."

"Why are you rushing off so quickly," he asked already knowing the answer. A lily, the charm was a lily, his Lily. His breath caught, what did he mean by, His Lily? She wasn't his anything. She was his niece's little friend. Colleen's beautiful, gorgeous, charming, and o' so adorable little friend, who he'd been avoiding all year. 

"I...I lost..." she pouted and then frowned. She couldn't believe that she'd been so careless. What if she didn't find it, what if someone stole it? What if...Stop she had to stop this, her mother always said only negative things came from negative thoughts.
"I misplaced my bracelet."

Billy put his hand under his chin, pretending to think. "It wouldn't happen to be a charm bracelet, you know, like the one CC has."

"Yes, they're twins."

"Uh?"

"Colleen, Kate and I have matching bracelets."

"Oh, so it's silver with six charms?"

"Yes," Lily said, somewhat distracted, nibbling on her bottom lip. She really needed to find that bracelet. She had to, she just had to.

"It didn't happen to have a pink flower on it?" He asked, and smiled when she looked up at him. "Sort of like this one?" he asked dangling the bracelet in front of her.

She gasped and then gave him a smile so blinding that Billy was sure that he saw double. Her smile was like looking into the sun for the first time, and knowing that it could blind you if you stared too long, but finding it impossible to turn away.

"Where...How..." she started, "No it doesn't matter," She finished and reached for the bracelet that Billy held out of reach. Lily stared from the bracelet to Billy, who was still smiling down at her. She didn't like the smile, it made her stomach feel funny, and she was sure that nothing good could come from that smile.

"What are you going to give me for it?"

"What...What do you mean?"

"Exactly what you think I mean."

"But...It's mine, it's my bracelet."

"True, but you lost it," he said loving the way she flushed at his words.

"I didn't loose it, I just...misplaced it," she said biting her lip again.

"Yeah, and that's why you almost ran me over?" he asked and wagged one finger at her when she tried to protest. "Don't lie. You're not really good at it.

"I..." Lily was speechless, what did he mean she wasn't any good at it. He didn't know her, how could assume that she wasn't good at lying? She wasn't, but he couldn't just go around making assumptions, about her ability to fib. "I..."

"Calm down tiger, it was a compliment." He said. "You should be happy to be such a bad liar, it means that you don't do it often, and that is a gift that very few have.

"A gift?"

"Yes, honesty, it's," he paused, lowering the bracelet to where she could reach it, "A gift that very few people are capable of."

Lily was mesmerized by the honesty she saw in his eyes. She reached one hand out to grab the bracelet, but fell forward, when he quickly snatched it out of her reach with one hand, while catching her against him with the other. "Billy" She said stepping back and glowering at him, "Will you please give me my bracelet?"

 "Sure, if you give me something for it," he said teasing her, by slightly shaking the bracelet enough so that the charm clinked against each other.

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. "Like what?"

"You don't have to pout, it's not that bad," he said, wanting to bend down and kiss the pout away.

On instinct, she took another step back. His eyes...They were...They were looking at her in away that she'd never had another person look at her before. "Like...What?" she asked. She'd been ignoring the butterflies in her stomach that were now flapping their wings harder, to get her attention.

"Go out with me," Billy said before he could stop himself. Standing here, in front of her, was making him realize that his decision to stay away from her was about to be shot to hell, and he couldn't care less.

"Go out-with you?" She asked, sure that Billy Abbott, cute, gorgeous and incredibly arrogant, Billy Abbott, who was the object of affection, of over half the females at Walnut Groove, was asking her out. Her...Lily Winters, who was only a freshman?

"Yes, agree to go out with me on a date, and I'll return your bracelet to you."

"I can't...I'm..." she flushed embarrassed.

"What..." he asked his voice slightly hardening, "You have a boyfriend?" He hadn't heard that she was seeing someone, but perhaps he went to another school. Well if she was, he'd have to find out who he was and...

"Oh, no," she flushed even deeper, "I...I'm not allowed to date yet."

Billy breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, but you want to go out me."

She paused. Did she want to go out with him? She sort of, ok well she did have bit of a crush on him, but then who wouldn't. "It doesn't matter, because I can't. Now will you please give me my bracelet?" She reached for it. He meet her half way letting her take hold on around one end, but not letting go of the other.

"That wasn't an answer. Do you want to go out with me?"He pressed, feeling more than nervous about the answer. God, he was never this nervous around girls, but she did something to him that defied all reason.

"Billy?" She tugged on the bracelet.

"You don't want to snap it do you," at her slight shake he added, "Do you?"

"Yes," she said, "But I can't, my parents won't let me date until I'm fifteen."

"See that wasn't so hard," he said releasing his end of the bracelet.

"That's it." She said staring at the bracelet.

"Not even close," he said taking two steps forward, invading her personal space. "Friday."

Lily swallowed. He was to close, "What about Friday? 

"I'll take you out on Friday."

"But, I told you..."

"Shhh," He said placing a finger to her lips, "do you want to go?"

"Yes," She asked her mouth moving against his finger."

"Then we'll go." He removed his finger, bent and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "You better get to practice."

Lily blinked as if coming out of a dream. "Oh my goodness, I forgot." She groaned, "I'm not going to make the team."

"You will."

"How do you?"

"I just do?"

"But I'm, late."

"It doesn't matter," at her skeptical look he added, "trust me."

"Okay," she said, turning in the opposite direction, "Thank for finding my bracelet."

"My pleasure," he said, staring at her legs that went on for days, for someone her height.

"And" she turned to face him, "For catching me" She turned and sprinted back down the hall, her heart beating faster and faster the further away she went.

And I'll always catch you. Billy thought. He wasn't sure where the thought came from, but as he stood in the hall and watched until he could no longer see her, he knew that it was true. In those few minutes that he'd spent with her, Billy realized that he wanted Lily Winters, and that be wanted her for keeps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Present~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It fits, Lily thought, holding the bracelet under one of the lamp lights in the living room. She smiled turning it here and there, it fit... it hadn't always fit. Her mother had brought them all I little big, because she wanted them to always be able to wear them. Lily constantly had to make sure that it was fastened to the closest setting, or it would fall off. That day, that fateful day she met Billy, she'd been in such a rush that she hadn't been paying attention, and had paid for it. It's a funny thing, how one small mistake had changed her life. If she hadn't been in a rush, she and Billy may have never had a relationship. He might have continued to ignore his attraction to her, and she would've eventually met another guy, and gotten over the small crush she'd had on him. But fate, if that's what you wanted to call it, had other ideas. 

"What's that?" Nick asked, as he sat next to his wife, who was curled up under a blanket on the sofa in the living room.

"A charm bracelet," She replied.

"May I see it?"

"Of course," She said taking it off and handing it to him.

Lily watched him examine the charms, running his fingers over each one and smiling.

"Did you just purchase this?"

"No, I...My mother bought it for me, a long time a go. It's actually one of three." At his raised eyebrow, she continued. "Colleen and Kate both have the same bracelet, only with different flowers, and..." She trailed off, watching him run his finger over the flower.

"Is the bee supposed to be attached like this?" he asked flicking the silver bumble bee that was hooked onto her flower instead of the bracelet.

Lily's breath hitched, when he flicked the bee, her bee, the extra charm. They each had nine charms, but Lily, she had ten. Billy had bought her a bee to hang on to her flower. It was a bee for Billy, to hang next to His Lily, or at least that's what he'd told her.  She'd told him he would have to purchase them all a charm. That it was a rule. He'd said that this was different, because the bee wasn't hanging from the bracelet, but from the Lily. "Yes, it's supposed to be there."

"Why don't you wear it anymore," he asked returning it to her.

"I out grew it," she said palming it.

"Looks like it still fit to me," he said, reaching out to play with a strand of her hair.

She smiled, "It does, but I'm just not that in to charms anymore."

"Oh really?" Nick asked seeing the wicked gleam in her eyes. "Tell me, Mrs. Newman," He said taking her hand, and bringing her onto his lap, "What exactly are you into.

"Oh, I don't know," she feigned innocently, sliding her arms around his neck. "Tall, dark, handsome men, with green eyes, stubby chins," she said sliding her chin against his trimmed beard. 

"Is that all?" he said breathing in the vanilla scent of her hair. She smelt so good, she felt so good. Nick wasn't sure how he'd gotten so lucky to have her in his life. It hadn't been easy to convince her to give him a chance, but when she had, he'd pulled out all the stops. He'd wooed her with everything he had. He'd been attracted to her for a while, but she'd been too young back then, and seeing someone else; that same someone, who was now back in their lives. "I love you," he said, bringing her face to his, holding it tenderly in his hand. She smiled, her eyes shining with love. He sighed, taking comfort from the love that he saw in them. He didn't know why he needed comfort. She was his wife, his, and she loved him, and that was all that mattered.

"I love you too," She said, and she did.

Nick kissed her, his lips were warm and smooth, as they moved against her mouth. He pressed her closer to him, one hand on her back, the other on her bottom, kneading, messaging, and bringing her closer to him. Nick wanted...no, needed her to feel his love in every touch, and every caress, so that she would know, so that she would not...forget.

Lily gasped, as she felt Nick stand up with her in his arms. "Nick," She squealed.

"I think we need to take this to a more comfortable setting, don't you?" He said not giving her a second to speak. Nick kissed her deeply and headed for the stairs.

 Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, returning his kisses with the same fervor as he was hers, while the charm bracelet slipped from her fingers to land on the floor.

Lily entered Gina's, with a spring in her step, and stopped at the maître d' stand.  She was happy, relaxed and looking forward to having dinner with her husband.  A couple of weeks had passed since the last time they'd gone out to dinner, if you didn't count Kate's engagement party. She'd been surprised when he told her that he'd made reservations for the night, because they hadn't done anything spontaneous in quite some time. Nick's schedule had been hectic as of late, because of the new venture he'd been working on. They'd had dinner at his office more times than she cared to remember. She understood how important the venture was for Newman, so rather than eat alone, she brought dinner to him, and sometimes they would make love afterward. It was nice, but there was just something wonderful about dressing up to enjoy a romantic dinner out on the town.

Lily was amazed at how happy she was by the simple act of having dinner with her husband. She felt beautiful in a simple black empire waist dress that stopped well above her knees, which was paired with silver sandals and accessories. She also felt extremely sexy in her black sheer lace La Perla lingerie. Tonight was going to be great. She hadn't seen Billy in over a week, and that, beyond anything else, added to her happiness. She frowned, had it really been over a week?

"Miss?" the snobby maître d' asked for the third time.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lily Newman," she said assuming he'd asked for her name.

"Newman," he said. His posture straightening as he looked from the woman next to him, to the reservation book. Of course, this was Nicholas Newman's wife, how could he have forgotten, such a beauty as she? "Signora, please follow me."

"Thank you," she said, and followed the maître d' through the busy restaurant.

Gina's was an upscale Italian eatery, with a band, a dance floor, and an ambiance that transported you back to the twenties. The musicians played soft jazz, which filtered through the restaurant, relaxing and intimate. It was still early so no one was dancing, but after eight, the floor would be littered with couples. She couldn't wait to dance with Nick. The feel of his arms around her, as he whispered sweet words of love in her hear, would be close to heaven. She smiled, Gina's was a great restaurant to start off what could be a delicious evening, and she planned on having one with her husband.

***

Billy was bored, he was really bored. And how could he not be, when he'd had to endure the company of his mother, his brother, and his brother's wife. He could have dealt with the latter, but the former, was the worst of the bunch. Jill Abbott, wasn't mother of the year, and never would be to him; although his brother Cane probably thought differently. He was her favorite after all, and why not?  Cane was the saint in the family, a lawyer who spent most of his time, along with his wife Mackenzie, trying to save the environment or whales or some other crap Billy could give two shits about. Billy didn't mind his half brother. Cane was Jill's youngest son from Phillip Chancellor, who was stolen as a toddler. He'd spent fifteen years of his life in Australia, before he found out about his real family on the woman who'd raised him, death bed. Cane wasn't a bad guy, just annoyingly smug, and at times a bit of a tool, but he was mostly harmless...mostly.

"Cane, works with the..."

Billy felt his eyes about to glaze over, at the sounds of his mother's voice, which had been the case for the past hour and a half.  He nodded, pretending to listen, but the soft music at Gina's, combined with the topic of conversations that revolved around Cane, Mac, and their three children, was lulling him to sleep.

Hell, what time is it? He thought and looked down at his Cartier Roadster.

"Are we holding you up?" Jill asked snappishly.

"No, but don't you have to be somewhere at eight?" he asked already knowing the answer. They'd chosen to have an early ‘family' dinner around his mother's schedule. She had a ‘meeting' with some man or another. As if he believed that. Jill Abbott, was about to sink her claws into some other unsuspecting fool, and he wished her all the best with it.

"What time is it?"

"7:45," he lied. It was only 7:30, but he wanted her gone, and the sooner the better.

"Oh, well, I should be going then," she said standing up.

"Weird," Mac said, "I only have 7:31."

"Really? Strange Mac, you might want to check on that," Billy said with false concern.

Cane looked down at his watch and then over to his brother, who was looking at his wife, as if he would strangle her, if she pressed the issue.

"Well one of you is right, but no matter, I know how you like to be on time," he said quickly cutting Mac off. Cane made it a point to never purposefully lie to his wife, and he wasn't going to start tonight. He patted her leg, and gave an indiscernible look towards Billy.

Mac followed his gaze, and flushed at the look of annoyance in Billy's eyes.  "Cane's right, you wouldn't want to be late for your meeting."

"Yes, no use in taking a chance, that one of us is wrong. Besides, what's fifteen minutes, here or there?" Billy said, and stood.

"You're right of course," Jill said, throwing Billy by the comment. He was positive that in his twenty-eight years on the earth, that this was the first time, she'd ever uttered those words to him. "I'm off. I will talk to you later."

"I'll walk you out," Cane said, holding out her chair.

"Thank you darling, but you enjoy your time with your brother." She patted his cheek, bussed Billy's and then Mac's before departing.

***

Billy sat down, relaxed now that his mother was gone. The rest of the evening would be a breeze and a short one at that. Mac didn't like being away from her children to long. And he if wasn't mistaken, because he hadn't really been listening, his mother mentioned something about Mac having to make two dozen cupcakes for their eldest daughter Stephanie to take to school tomorrow. Mac could easily buy a few dozen cupcakes, but she would make them, because Steph wanted her to. He was sure his auburn haired seven year old niece was wide awake, waiting on her mother to get home. She'd already text Mac and Cane each once tonight.

"Billy I can't believe you lied to your mother," Mac said sounding like...well, a mother.

"Of course you can. We did date for like a minute."

"And I still can't believe that," she said shaking her head, while Cane looked on amused.

"Relax Mac. We were what, fourteen, having our first summer fling." Billy said, before taking a sip of the Pinot Noir he'd had with his dinner. "Admit it, we had fun."

She frowned, which caused him to smile. Mackenzie Browning, now Ashby, was too serious for her own good. She'd relaxed a lot since giving birth to her daughters. Billy still couldn't believe that Mac and Cane had three children and a fourth on the way after only eight years of marriage.

"Yeah, it was so much fun, when we got caught swimming in our underwear in our Grandmother's lake."

Billy pretended to shudder, "Good thing we didn't do more than kiss." He said, watching Mac pale.

It had been later that same year, around Christmas that they'd found out that Jill was Katherine's long lost daughter. It was a shock to the senses. And it explained why he'd never felt more than a weird, friendship for Mac, who he'd found extremely attractive back then. Which still didn't really explain things, since about seven years later they'd discovered that his mother wasn't really Katherine's long lost daughter.  But after having lived as family for so long, they continued to do so. However she and Cane were a completely different story.

"Ugh," Mac said. "Don't remind me." Don't, really Billy, just don't.

Mac didn't want to think about that time. She and Billy had been puppy love, but she and Cane...had been serious. They had tried to fight their attraction, but...they couldn't seem to help themselves. They hadn't had sex, and had only shared a few kisses. Such sweet kisses, that had made her heart soar, her knees weak, and her soul ache. It had been unbearable, the pain...the pain of being in love with someone, who you thought you shouldn't love, the way you loved them, was...unbearable.

"It was just a peck Mac, we didn't even use tongues." He laughed, when she groaned.

"Billy, do you mind not torturing my pregnant wife," Cane said, leaning over to kiss said wife.

"Now, I think I'm going to be sick," Billy said in mock jest.

 Cane ignored him, "Are you feeling alright?" He asked, observing her slightly pale pallor.

She smiled reassuringly, "I'm fine.  I just, have to go the ladies room."

"Okay," he stood, and held out her chair for her. She eased out of the chair, her perfectly round bump showed against the flowing lavender dress she was wearing. "I'll go with you."

"I'm fine, really" she said, kissing his cheek, before she departed.

Cane stood, watching her leave until she was completely out of sight, before returning to his seat.

Billy watched as Cane looked off in the direction, Mac had just gone. "She's fine," he commented.

"I know," Cane sighed, "We're having a boy, after three girls, we're finally having a boy." His eyes were shiny.

"You're not going to cry on me are you?" 

Cane scowled in answer.

"So what do you do, plan one every two to three years?" Billy asked semi-serious.

He wanted know, perhaps Lily and he would plan theirs. He wanted to have as many kids with her as she would allow him. It was her body after all, but he knew that she wanted children. He was surprised that she and Nick didn't have any. He was happy about it, but extremely surprised.

"Stephanie's seven, Ginger's five, Haley's three, and Mac's due in what, two, three months tops?" 

"Three," Cane said thinking about it. Billy did have a point, but truthfully, they'd never planned it. Mac had never been on birth control. 

"Is this the last one?" Billy didn't care, but he knew that Cane loved his kids, and a happy Cane, was easier to manipulate.

"I think so, but who knows. Four seems like a good round number." Cane replied, "But I'm sure that you're not interested in hearing about my children."

"I'm always interested in hearing about my nieces," Billy replied. He took a sip of wine, and watched as his brother nodded in acknowledgement of his last comment. "Family is important! And no matter what happens, family should always be...ones first concern." He paused, to let his words marinate in Cane's mind, before he continued. "Don't you think so?" 

Cane was silent. He didn't need to answer the question. His brother already knew what he would say. Family meant everything to him. He'd missed out on a family for most of his life, and he would do anything for his family. "What do you want?"

"Nothing...much," Billy answered.

"What's- not much?"

Billy was about so speak, when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. His senses were pricked, the atmosphere around him changed, dissolving, breaking away like cracked ice. Cane spoke, but he wasn't listening. His hearing, his body, and his senses were all attuned to the entrance of the restaurant. He couldn't see the front, but he knew...he just knew she was here. He could smell her, her scent called to him, like a lioness seeking its mate. The primal male beast that lived inside of him, awakened from its sleeping slumber, searching, waiting, wanting to pounce as soon as he saw her.  His eyes focused at a spot over Cane's shoulder. She would either turn into their section or go to the next one, and regardless of where she went, he would see her...he always saw her.

It took Cane a few minutes to realize that Billy wasn't listening to him. He was certain Billy hadn't listened to a single word of his diatribe about not getting caught up in one of his schemes. Not that Billy ever asked him to, but the remark about family, set his teeth on edge. Cane probably knew his baby brother better than anyone else. He turned his head, following Billy's line of vision towards the open area to their section. There wasn't anything over his shoulder. A few people coming and going, nothing out of the ordinary.  Cane faced Billy, whose attention was still focused somewhere over his shoulder. Billy's blue eyes were hooded, and intense, watching the walkway with an intensity that disturbed him. Cane turned back towards the entrance. It was the same, nothing new, nothing...he paused mid thought, when he saw an extremely beautiful woman walk past, a woman who looked fairly familiar to him, a woman, who he would know anywhere, a woman, who was married to his best-friend. Cane's head snapped back around to face Billy. He watched the way his eyes followed Lily, and then settled back on him, as if nothing had occurred.

"I suppose it would be futile for me to ask what you want." Cane remarked bluntly.

"I told you that it was nothing."

"Lily is nothing?"

"Lily," he breathed. "She could never be a nothing, and I would never refer to her as such."

"Then enlighten me, because I have a feeling that whatever favor you're about to ask me, will have something to do with Lily...Newman."

Billy sighed. They really didn't get it, not His Tiger Lily, his brother, or his niece. They didn't seem to realize, that they could shout her marital status until they turned blue, and it wouldn't change a thing. Billy wasn't about to get into- what was sure to be another pointless conversation, with his brother.

"Ethan," he said using his brother's birth name, his real name, a name that never failed to put a frown on his face. He knew that Cane didn't particularly like being called Ethan, because it brought to surface, how much he'd lost. Billy also knew that the name provided Cane with a sense of belonging.  Ethan was the son of Phillip Chancellor, not just some poor teacher, who could barely get by.

"I'm here on business," he said, steadily looking his brother in the face. "I'm here on Jabot business."

Cane felt uncomfortable staring directly into Billy's midnight gaze. Business, Billy wanted him to know that he was here on business. "I understand Jabot is trying to acquire Symphonic Smells."

"Exactly."

"Exactly," Cane asked unsure of Billy's reply.

"Business, I am here on business." He repeated." Someday...real soon, your BFF is going to ask you, ‘Why I'm here.'  And you will tell him that I'm here on business." Billy said tossing his napkin on to the table, his gaze never wavered from Cane's.

"You want me to lie to Nick for you?" Cane asked choosing his words deliberately.

"I never asked you to Lie. I told you why I was here, nothing more, nothing less."

"Bullshit, you and I both..."

Billy slowly clapped his hands, "I didn't know you had that kind of language in you." He looked around, "Of course when Mac's away," he let sentence fall off, it hung in the air between them, so much was said, without uttering a single word.

Cane swallowed, there were things...things he'd...done-dishonest things...things that would cause his wife to look at him, differently. Cane was a lawyer, and once in a while, he was required to do things that left a bad taste in his mouth. But he did them, because it was his job, working for Michael Baldwin required one to go the extra mile.  "I will not help you destroy a marriage." 

"Again, I never asked for you to help me destroy anything." Billy replied, feeling like a cat about to corner a canary, or maybe a snake with a mouse, he thought tapping a finger lightly against his wine glass. Snake seemed a little harsh, a canary, definitely a canary. After all, Cane was family.

"Billy, you may be Genoa City on business, but I highly doubt that it's the only reason you're here," Said Cane. "I was there, remember. I was there, when Raul broke the news to you about her marriage. I saw you. I saw the pain, the hurt, and the anger in your eyes. So don't tell me that you are only here on business."

Billy could feel his skin begin to sizzle, the deep penetrating anger and betrayal he'd felt the day he'd discovered that she married, began to simmer at the bottom on his stomach.  The ache, the agonizing ache he'd felt at hearing those words, that Lily Winters, His Lily Winters, was now and forever would be Lily Newman. Billy closed his eyes. This was not the time or the place to bring up those thoughts. He needed to put them back in their box, the small black box that sat in the center of his mind, holding all things he needed to hide, so that they would not be emotional burdens. The aching loss of the two people he'd loved most in the world, lay in that box, the loss of his father, and  the love of his life, who owned part of his soul. He couldn't bring his father back from the dead, but he could return the soul that he'd freely given to her, a few weeks before he'd said goodbye, and known that without her, he would never be the same man. Lily Winters had a piece of his soul. The largest part of it was intertwined with hers. What was left of his soul carried her voice, a voice that attempted to make him be good a man. He rarely listened to her voice, A. it hurt, and B. he just wasn't a good man, not without her, and even with her, his motives at times could be questionable.

"And what if I am here to destroy Lily's marriage?" Billy continued, as Cane sat in silence. "Come on Ethan, I'm dying to here, what you'd do to stop me if...I were to...claim Lily?"

"Billy," Cane began

"Tell me," Billy said an edge creeping into his voice. "Tell me...brother," He said, watching Cane over his steepled fingers, "Is water thicker than blood?"

If it were possible to bring a man down with one blow, Billy's last words dropped Cane to the floor, one more, well aimed phrase, and he would be on his back, belly up, offering Billy the kill. Cane's palms began to sweat. He could feel a small bead run down the nape of his neck, while his mouth cried out for him to lick it only to quench the sudden dryness there.

"Is that a yes," Billy said with a nonchalance that he didn't feel. He needed Cane's word, because he knew that once he gave it, he would never break it. He didn't want to bring any undo stress to his family members, but if they got in his way... ca sera, sera.

Cane took in a deep breath before grounding out, "No," He looked behind him to see if Mac was coming, before turning back and added, "Is there no limit you want go to for her?"

None, thought Billy, who realized a long time ago, that where His Lily was concerned, the limits were infinite.

***

Billy watched her work, head bent diligently over a stack of papers, pen moving methodically from one place to the next, checking, and writing as she went down the page , before moving on to the next. He'd been standing in the doorway for sometime, trying to decide the best way to handle this delicate situation. He'd gone over a few scenarios, each one was worse than the last. He sighed, there was only one way to handle this and that was to be, direct. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Mr. Abbott," Mrs. Park said, when she looked up and saw him at her door. "How may I help you?"

Billy gave her an easy smile as he walked into the classroom towards her desk. "Me, well I'm fine, it's just, that," he trailed off.

"Yes?" she asked, one pale blonde lash rose in expectation.

 Pasha Parker or Pip as her friends called her, was the ideal standard all American beauty, blonde haired, and blue eyed, and much like myself, thought Billy, who didn't reply. She was twenty-eight, from Minnesota, and working at the best paying school in the state, that was about as hard to get into as Forte Knox.

"How did you get this Job?" he asked pulling out a chair and taking a seat.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." She said standing up, "If you don't have anything in particular to discuss with me, then I suggest you leave." 

"It couldn't have been easy," he said ignoring her. "You must have gone to Yale or Harvard to get this position?"

"Mr. Abbott."

"No, you look more like a Golden Gopher," he chuckled, "Damn that's a terrible name for a mascot."

Pasha crossed her arms over her chest and watched the insolent spoiled brat, who was no more than eighteen, laugh at her alma mater. "Mr. Abbott, I am not one of your fellow classmates, so I will not stand here in my own classroom and..."

"You were a dancer, right?"

"What?"

"You were a Dancer, at the University of Minnesota?"

"I,"

"I bet you were good, not good enough to be a professional dancer, but it must be nice sharing your knowledge with other girls." At her look of confusion Billy knew that playtime was over. He should've just been direct...damn. "Shaping the youth of the America, helping them to perfect their turns, and leaps, or whatever technical term your use, for jumping and twirling." 

Mrs. Parker moved around the desk to stand in front of him. "I don't know what type of game you are playing, but I suggest you play it somewhere else.

"Randolph Parker right," he asked.

"What?"

"Your husband, that's how you got the job here?" He asked, continuing before she replied. "And that nice house you live in. I mean it's not as if you need to work, but I guess it can't easy being married to an old codger can it?" He stood, and leaned against her desk. "He's like what, seventy or eighty?"

"Sixty," she snapped.

Wow, he mouthed, stretching his eyes, as if this was a shock to him. "That's," he moved his fingers as if he was counting and then said, "Well, that's a, huge- age- gap. It must be hard, having to sleep with someone so much older than you."

"That's it, get..."

"I'm not happy with your roster for the dance team," he said changing the subject.

Pasha blinked, what was, he talking about. "What do you mean, by your not happy with my roster? It's not that I care, but how could you possibly know what it says, when it hasn't been posted."

"Lily Winters is not on your final roster." He said ignoring her question.

"How did you?"

"That really needs to change," he said meeting her gaze. 

"Ex..." Pasha began, determined to hold his gaze. His eyes were cold, flat, and hard. She'd met many men in her life, and few could pull of the chilly gaze he'd directed at her. She wanted to look away. It took all of her will power not to. He was just a boy...just a boy. "Excuse me?"

Hesitation, poor Pasha, she really shouldn't have hesitated, before he'd thrown his cards on the table.  Billy sighed. "I really hate repeating myself.  Lily isn't on your roster. And that just...won't do."

She snorted, "Is the about Lily Winters?" She asked and then laughed, "You somehow got your hands on my roster, and now you here to convince me to put your girlfriend on the squad."

His girlfriend, if only she were his girlfriend. But she would be...soon. "I didn't come here to convince you of anything." He said his voice dropping the temperature in the room. "You are going to do put her on the squad, because she is a great dancer, and she deserves to be there."

She laughed, "I hope you aren't trying to intimidate me, you'll have to...

"I can only imagine the perks that come with working at Walnut Grove. Good benefits, free lunch" he said, ticking each one off on his fingers," good pay, fucking Principal Richards after school."

Pasha swallowed, no, he...he couldn't.

"Not the reasons you like working here?  I really thought that last one was a special benefit just for you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," She said stepping back, when he moved to go around her.

"Pasha, you graduated with a 3.72 GPA from college. You and I both know that you are not stupid...but then again, Mamie always said that "common sense isn't common."

Pasha was stunned, how did he know what grade point average she'd gotten in college? How did he even know what school she'd attended and how did he...She let the thought trail off.

"Lily Winters is going to look very cute in her uniform," he said stopping at the edge of her desk, where he pulled out a small white envelope and laid it on the top. "Don't you think so?" He threw over his shoulder, as he walked towards the exit.

Pasha felt her palms go sweaty, and her stomach cramped as she stared at the envelope. She should wait until he leaves, she should wait...But. She reached for the envelopes tearing it open, she gasped.

"Does Mr. Parker know you're that flexible?" Billy asked before exiting the room.

***

It was the first time Billy had ever used extortion to get what he wanted, but now, it was child's play. Not that it mattered, because he was smart enough not to get his hands dirty. He looked over Cane's shoulder and watched as Mac made her way back to the table, "Is there any limit you wouldn't go to for Mac."

"None," Cane said without second thought. Shit, he thought, I'm fucked. He knew the place where Billy was, he'd been there when he'd fallen in love with Mac.    

"Exactly" Billy said.

Cane sighed, and turned to see his wife, smiling happily as she walked towards them. His heart still skipped a beat, when she smiled like that. Mac was his everything, and Billy knew it. He'd risked being disowned, to be with a girl who he'd thought was his cousin. It still bothered him the way he'd rejoiced, when the news had come out that his mum wasn't really Katherine's daughter. He'd comforted his mother to her face, but had smiled in glee, with a heart filled with unbridled happiness at the thought that he could really and truly be with Mac. Yep he was fucked...well and truly fucked.   

"I'm sorry I took so long," she said to Cane, before turning to Billy. "You're not leaving already?"

Billy, who'd stood at her approach, bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "We'll catch up later. I have a business to attend to."

"Business, Billy I swear all you do is work."

"Hon, Billy's here on business."

"Yeah, lighten up Mac, I'm here on business.

"Yeah, just business," Cane reaffirmed, he and Billy exchanged looks of understanding. "We need to leave any way, so that you can make those cupcakes with Steph.

"Oh, what time is it?" when Billy told her, she departed as if being chased out, but not before getting a promise from him that he would come to dinner Sunday to visit with his nieces.

***

One more thing down, a few more details to take care of, but I can do that later, thought Billy. At the moment, he only had one person on his mind. He walked towards the section he knew she was sitting in. It would be rude to leave without saying hello to...his thought trailed off, when he saw a gentleman waiting for him at the bar. He glanced down at his watch. It was only a little after eight. He had time. Changing directions, he casually strode over to the bar, and took a seat next to the man, before ordering a glass of scotch.

 The two men sat in silent at the bar, until the bartender returned with his drink. 

"Billy." The man said staring down into the clear liquid in the small tumbler that sat in front of him.

"What do you have for me?"

Adam Wilson was a man who believed that actions spoke louder than words. He was a man who understood how important it was to choose your words wisely. One always wanted to choose their words wisely when dealing with the man to his right. Adam had worked with Billy a few times within the past five years.  Truthfully, he couldn't say that he worked with Billy. Working with Billy implied an equal share of power, and Adam didn't have the kind of power that Billy did. True, Adam's father was Victor Newman, but as Shakespeare put it, "What's in a name?" He wasn't Adam Newman, he was Adam Wilson, and a day never went by that he didn't remember that. He could have easily had it changed. His father would have loved him to. But why should he change his name in order to assuage the bastard's guilt of abandoning him and his mother?

"Well?" Billy asked feeling somewhat impatient.

"Relax, "Adam said, hearing the rare impatience in Billy's voice. Billy rarely showed emotion, at least not the genuine kind. "Nick's running late."

Billy sipped his drink. Taking out his small silver ball, he rolled it through the fingers of his right hand. Stay calm. Remember, you don't let anyone see you lose your patience. It will give them the upper hand, and you are always holding the aces. "Nick is not my concern."

"But my sister in law is?" Adam asked quietly, thinking of the lovely Mrs. Newman, who looked quite stunning in her black and silver. He'd seen her walk in, and how could he not?  When just about every man watched her walk by, with her hips swaying, eyes shining, and her small pert breasts showing a tempting amount of cleavage. Her hair was long, and flowing down her back in subtle waves that made a man's hand inch to run his fingers through them. But the thing that stood out above all else, was the playful smile painted on her lips that made a man envious of the one she about to bestow it upon. 

"Adam, my time is valuable. You and I both know that you cannot afford to waste it." Billy said, turning to face Adam. "Tell me."

Adam downed the rest of his drink, before turning to face him. "Nick is meeting with the head of Symphonic Smells on Monday to present the package that Newman would be willing to offer their employees. As you know, the CEO wants to make sure that the workers are taken care of."

Billy nodded in acknowledgement, but didn't respond.

"Newman is going to let go of more people, than what they are presenting in the package. Victor doesn't care what the CEO wants for the employees. Once Newman has control, the package, and most of the promises, will go out the window."

"And the owner won't have any say, because the ex-CEO will have their money, and be sipping piña coladas in Buenos Aires."

"Exactly, which doesn't make sense, when the CEO isn't putting any of this in the contract. They're doing it all based on faith. Not a smart business move."

"Nope, not at all," Billy replied, still rolling the ball. "Is there anything else?"

"The CEO wants copies of Newman's environmental records for past ten years, which will take a little bit of cleaning."

"And a few favors," Billy concluded.

"Quite a few," Adam said, "Which has been keeping everyone at Newman pretty busy these days. That last blow sent Nick scrambling for all the help he could get in order to come up with a new ten year projection for the new company."

"Ahh, the blow that happened almost two weeks ago."

 "Yes, odd that, I wonder what she didn't like about the first projections?"

"Yes, it was odd, although her timing was...impeccable."

Adam smiled, "She's always impeccable."

"And will not be easily replaced," Billy added, "But I'm more than confident that you are up to the task."

"Oh, I think I am." Adam said, and ordered another drink from the bartender.

Rolling the ball one last time, Billy returned it to the inner pocket of his gray suit jacket. He turned on his stool and stood up, "I don't think Nick has enough work to do to tonight." He said before he departing, "See what you can do about that."

Adam watched Billy's departure through the panoramic mirrors behind the bar. He walked a few steps before making a left, to the section where the dance floor and band were located. He made another left to where his delicate, deliciously sweet, sister in law was seated. Adam couldn't blame Billy for his obsession with Lily Winters, men like them needed women like her to balance out the darkness. 

***

"Almost," Nick said, staring down at the new proposal. He wasn't sure she would go for it, it needed...something. He just couldn't put his finger on it. He looked at the steel wire clock hanging on his office wall, and smiled. Lily had given him that clock after his promotion, when he moved into the spacious corner office. He always looked at the clock, because it reminded him of her.

"Shit," he sighed, he was already late, and from the looks of things, he wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. What had made him think that maybe, just maybe, he could take his wife out for dinner and dancing? He thought that they were too young for such things, but Lils loved to dance. He supposed she'd gotten it honestly from her mother, who, once upon time, had been a soloist for the Genoa City Ballet Company.

He looked down at the thick document, and then back up to the clock. He could finish it. She wouldn't kill him for being thirty minutes or so late?

He sent her a text: I'm running a little late, be there by 8:15. I love you. <3

He sat back, and waited for her reply which came almost immediately.

Lily: Ok, see you then, I love you too.  <3

Nick sighed, feeling truly blessed to have such a sweet, and accommodating  wife.

***

Lily absently ran a finger around the rim of her wine glass, as she stared down at the white linen table cloth. She'd been sipping on the same glass for over thirty minutes. Five minutes, she thought. Nick would be there in five minutes, and she believed him. She knew by the tone of his voice that he'd been excited about taking her out, so she was certain that he'd be there. He was late- really late- but, he would be there. He said he would. They needed this. She needed it. She wished things weren't so hectic. It was June, the weather was nice, a prime time to take a small vacation. She needed to get away. She had to get away.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

 Lily closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. Why, why was he here?

"A nickel?" he asked.

She kept her eyes closed, because she knew that if she looked up, he would be there, staring down at her, with that famous grin on his face. That grin, a grin that never failed to either drive her nuts, or make her heart do flips.

"I've always considered myself to be a handsome man. Actually many women tell me I'm quite handsome." He said, and pulled out the chair opposite her.

Lily's eyes flew open, when she felt his feet brush hers under the table. How had she not heard him pull the chair out? "What are you doing?"

"Sitting, what does it look like?" Billy asked, smiling at Lily, who scowled at him.

"You...you can't sit there. I'm waiting on someone."

"I'll move when he comes."

"I didn't say it was a man."

Billy eyes went from her face down to her cleavage. "Unless you've switched teams, or decided to toe the line, then I'm sure that you're not dressed like that to meet CC or Kate. It was an easy assumption, one that I'm more than positive is correct."

She was about to reply, when the waiter came to the table, and asked if she wanted another glass of wine, to which she declined.

"Good evening Sir, my name his Mark, and I will be your waiter this evening. May I get you something to drink?"

"No,"  "Yes," they said in unison.

The waiter looked from one to the other confused. "Ah, should I come back?"

"No need," Billy said placing his left hand over her right one- which lay palm down on the table- to stall her reply. "I'll have a scotch, and the lady will have the antipasto."

"I'm not hungry," she said sullenly, and then blushed when her stomach chose that moment to protest.

"I rest my case." He said by way of dismissal.

The waiter turned preparing to leave, when Lily stopped him.

"One moment," she said picking up her glass, and tossing back her Chardonnay. "I'll have another," she handed him the glass.

"You could have just told him you wanted another glass, without downing that one as if you were at a keger." Billy said as soon as Mark left.

"I didn't do any such thing," She said blushing furiously.

He smirked in reply, which caused her to scowl at him.

"What do you want?"

"You," He said lazily.

 Lily swallowed at the heat in his eyes. His eyes held a thousand and one promises, and none of them were good. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" his eyes burned a path from her left shoulder, across her collarbone, down to her cleavage, and back up the other side.

"Like...Like you want to..." She stopped, NO!  She wasn't even going to go there. Not now, no today, not tomorrow, not never.

"What was that?" he asked innocently. "Like I want to what?"

Seduce me, bed me, screw me, toss me up on this table and...and... She crossed her ankles. "It doesn't matter." She said as calmly as she could muster, while things lower in her body began to awaken.

"Come on Tiger. I remember you being a lot braver than this. Please, don't disappoint an old friend with this new cowardly behavior."

"One, don't call me Tiger, two-"

"And why not?" he asked interrupting her next statement, which he was sure to involve the words "I'm not a coward," followed by a very pretty pout. His Lily was a pouter. And he always, always made it a habit to kiss away every single one of them. She had already pouted once tonight, and one pout without a kiss was all that he could bare before doing something reckless.  

"Because, it's... inappropriate," she answered lamely.

He loved it when she blushed. Her cheeks bloomed like red roses in a field of wheat. How could anyone be so exotically beautiful, and captivating, without an ounce of vanity, and a liter of innocence? "Inappropriate, don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

"No," she said demurely, and then smiled when the waiter came over and placed their drinks and her antipasto on the table, before departing.  Lily stared down at the plate filled with prosciutto, salami, black and green olives, artichoke hearts, red peppers, provolone and mozzarella cheeses, and bruschetta.  "I can't eat all of this."

"I know, which is why Mark, left two plates."

 Lily looked at the plate, then to him, back to plate, and then back to him. This happened a few more times, before she said. "That plate is not for you. It's for..."

"I bet I can guess the next words out of your mouth," at her silence he continued. "Would they happen to be, my husband?"

It was a dismissal, and Lily knew it. The way he'd said the word "Husband," as if it were no more than an after thought, as if her husband didn't matter. As if Nick was nothing to be concerned about. And if Nick was nothing to be concerned about, then neither was her marriage.

"Here," he speared a black olive with his fork, and offered it to her. 

She sat back eyes wide, mouth dry, "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to quiet the tiger...Tiger."

"What," she began, but was interrupted by the loud growl that came from her stomach.

"Eat," he said in a voice that usually broke no argument from his employees, but unfortunately for him, she wasn't an employee.

"Billy Abbott, please refrain from telling what to do. You are not my father and you most certainly are not- oomph."

 None of that¸ thought Billy shoving a piece of bruschetta topped with provolone and prosciutto into her mouth. He really...really, didn't want her to finish that sentence.  And besides, she needed to eat. She could argue with him later. He was sure they were going to be doing plenty of it, before they left for London.

"That," she began, taste buds tingling, her senses in overdrive, and her mouth watering for more of the delicious food. She wanted more, but first they had to get a few things straight. "Was very ru...oomph" Black olives, I love black olives, she thought, chewing on the delicious morsel. It was so good. She finished and was about speak, but he placed a green one in her mouth. The contrast between the two olives had her sighing in pleasure, so much pleasure that she let Billy feed her a piece of mozzarella. She hadn't realized how hungry she was, until the plate was set in front of her. She'd chosen to ignore the outcry from her stomach. She hadn't eaten since her lunch meeting at the GCAC, where she'd had a small salad six hours ago. Well no more, her stomach was happy, not nervous, or antsy, or hungry, it was just...happy. She frowned, after swallowing another piece of bruschetta, this time topped with mozzarella, provolone, black olives, and salami.

"Drink this," he said holding her glass of wine to her lips.

She did, another burst of pleasure enveloping her senses. The slightly sweet taste of the chardonnay drenched her taste buds, and mellowed her senses.

"Better?" he asked watching the small satisfied smile play around her lips.

She sighed, "Much."

"Good," he said standing.

Lily started, "What...are...are you leaving now?" She asked tentatively.

"Nope."

"Restroom?" she asked scooting back in her chair, watching him walk closer to her.

"Nope," he said, and reached down to pull out  her chair.

"What," She said, in a futile attempt to keep her chair still, as it slid back. "What are you doing?" She said in rush.

"Dancing," he said pulling her up by the hand.

"I am not dancing with you,"

"Why, are you afraid?"

She rolled her eyes, as if she would walk right into that one. "No, I'm not."

"Good, then let's go," he moved, but felt her dig her heels in. "We can either dance here- near the table- in this dark, and intimate corner or we can go out on the floor, with everyone else. But either way Tiger, you and I are going to dance."

***

Nick was completely absorbed in the report, making changes here and there. But it still wasn't ready. He wasn't sure if it would ever be ready. He sighed, laying his head against the back of his seat. Newman needed this acquisition. They needed something fresh and new to attract buyers in their international market, where Jabot was basically, and to put it bluntly, kicking Newman's asses. The domestic sales numbers were great, but to be honest, they weren't as strong as they could be. His father was the problem. He was willing to gamble when it came to buying something new, but it was usually only just to strip it, and sale off the stocks. It was a ruthless business. And yet, thanks to his domineering attitude, it had taken his father forever to finally start listening to him in regards to where the company needed to go. Newman needed a younger buyer, because the old ones were dying, or not spending as much. It was a cold way to think, but in business, you had to learn to get a little ice in your veins.

He wiped a hand across his eyes. He was tired, and extremely hungry. Hungry. He jolted up in his chair and looked at the clock. 8:40 "FUCK!" He yelled, eyes focusing on the clock, which taunted him, as the second hand continued to make its routine jaunt around the other numbers.  He was over thirty minutes late, wait, make that an hour, since he was originally suppose to meet her at 7:30! He looked down at the document on his desk that still needed to be ironed out, and sighed. He really needed to finish this, but...he also needed to have dinner with his wife. This was important, but Lily was more so, and besides, it wasn't as if they were presenting the proposal tomorrow. He would take it home, and go over it later tonight...well, maybe tomorrow. The only thing he was going over tonight was his wife.

Nick stood up, stretching his arms above his head; he yawned, shook it off and packed up his briefcase, preparing to leave, when his door opened.

"Good, I caught you before you left."

Nick picked up his briefcase, "Look Adam, I don't have time to talk."

"Well you better make some," Adam said taking a seat in one of the two black leather armchairs in front of Nick's desk.

Nick looked at Adam, who looked relaxed and at home, as if he had all the time in the world. Nick chanced a glance at the clock, which smiled evilly at him. "I'm sure whatever the issue is, it can wait until morning."

"If you say so, but..."

"But..."

"But, nothing, I'm sure it can wait until morning." Adam rose and made to depart.

"Adam," Nick said, halting him in his tracks. "What is it, and don't say it's nothing. I know you well enough to know that it must be something."

Adam looked at him confused. "I...I thought you had somewhere to be?" he thought he sounded quite convincing. God, this was just too easy.

 "I do," He dropped the briefcase, and closed his yes, resting his palms on his desk. What was he doing? He should just let Adam tell him tomorrow. "Does this have anything to do with Symphonic Smells?"

"Why the hell else would I be here?" on a night when you're suppose to be dining with your wife.  "I sure as hell didn't come to shoot the breeze with my big brother," he said in a voice, which plainly said that that would be the last thing he'd ever want to do. He and Nicholas were related, they were brothers, but that was where it began and ended.

"Well?" Nick asked impatiently.

Adam smirked at his impatience, reclaiming his chair, he motioned that Nick should have a seat in his. "This is going to take a while."

"And this can't wait?" Nick was exasperated to say the least. "Lily is waiting for me at Gina's."

"Well then, you should leave. You wouldn't want to keep my sister in law waiting too long."  Adam tapped his fingers against the arm rest, as he watched Nick struggle with what to do. He needed a little nudge in the right direction. "Have you gone over the report?"

"Yeah, I was just adding some changes here and there, but I can do them tomorrow."

"I think it would be best if we went over it together."

"Why?" Nick asked suspiciously.

"I got a call from our insider. One of the other companies vying to buy Symphonic Smells, Belle de Jour, already turned in their projection plan, and the CEO was not pleased. I think we need to make sure that we don't have anything remotely like ‘that' in our report. Especially since this isn't the first one she's seen."   

What Adam said was common sense, and as much as Nick would have rather waited until tomorrow, he needed to at least hear what Adam to say, before he left. He moved back to his chair, lowering himself in with care. "Alright, tell me."

"Well," Adam said, and began his story. You owe me, Billy, thought Adam, who had every intention of collecting.

***

How had this happened? Lily wasn't sure. She wasn't sure of anything, not the people around her, the floor beneath her, or the ceiling above her. And she most definitely wasn't sure how she'd let Billy maneuver her onto the dance floor. This was wrong, it was all wrong. She wasn't supposed to be dancing with him. She was supposed to be dancing with her husband-her husband, who wasn't there. Where was he?

"You're going to get wrinkles if you keep frowning," Billy said, stopping in the darkest corner at the edge of the room. He turned her to him, bringing her closer with one hand, while resting the other firmly on her waist.

Her breath caught when she felt his hand touch her waist. "We...we can't dance, there isn't any music," she attempted to detach her self, but he held her firm.

"Just wait..."

It was only a second, before she recognized the song, and began to hum.

The very thought you...and I forget to do... the little ordinary things... that everyone ought to do.

It was an instrumental version, but she knew the song. The Very Thought of You, by the timeless Natalie Cole.

I'm living in...a kind of daydream.  I'm happy as... a king. And foolish...though it may seem... to me... that's everything.

 She knew the song well, her mother used to love the song. It wasn't originally by Natalie Cole. There were many different versions, two in particular by Billie Holiday and Etta James, that she also loved, but theirs were mid tempo.  Whereas this one was a slower version, Natalie's soft voice making it as if it were an original, and not just another version.

She didn't protest when Billy moved them in time to the music. She relaxed in his arms, and felt the music, letting him lead her where he wanted to. 

The mere idea of you...the longing here for you- You'll never know, how slow, the moments go ‘til I'm near... to you.

Billy hadn't held her like this since Cane and Mac's wedding. They'd danced to this very song at the reception. It was a song that would always be special to him. He'd never been into the standards, but one day- months after he'd left- he was on an elevator in Hong Kong, when he heard the song wafting softy through the vents. He'd gone home later that night, and purchased the song on iTunes. Most days he avoided it, but sometimes he would turn it on, and close his eyes, remembering the feel of her, the smell of her, and the essence that was hers and hers alone. It would haunt him for days, sometimes weeks, but it was always worth it in the moment. Like now, this indulgence would haunt him every day. But he would have no regrets, not a single regret.

I see your face... in every flower-Your eyes- in stars above. It's just the though of you... the very thought of you... my love.

"I feel old," he said, needing to say something, as the song's melody engulfed them taking over, and the words that he knew were there, dropped out of the song, wrapping them tightly in a cocoon of magic that separated them from the other dancers. 

"Old?" she question, looking up at him.

"Yes, old. We have to be the youngest people out here dancing."

She looked around, and sure enough, he was correct. The youngest person she could see looked to be maybe, just maybe, in their early forties, late thirties. "True, but ..." it's nice. She finished in her mind.

"But what?"

"But, you asked me to dance. Well you didn't ask, you said that we were going to dance, and now you want to complain."

"I only asked because I know how much you like to dance, and..."

"And?"

He looked down, his golden brown lashes slightly covering his eyes. "And I wanted..." he pulled her closer, "to feel you in my arms again."

Lily looked into his neck. What could she say to that? There were many things she should say. But nothing seemed to come, not a single thought of indignation, or the conviction that she shouldn't let him say things like that to her. His words had called home to her, the longing that she'd once felt during those lonely nights after he'd left. The nights when she'd wanted nothing more than to feel his arms around her; her back to his chest, his breath on her neck, one hand messaging her side, while the other ran through her hair. "Do you remember the reception?"

He smiled into her hair, "Yes. And how could I forget, when you looked stunning in your bridesmaid dress?"

"I was surprised that she asked me. It's not as if she and I were friends then."

"Cane knew that if he wanted me to be one of his groomsmen, then you would have to be a bridesmaid. I wasn't going to walk down the isle with some sad looking creature."

She laughed. "I hope you didn't tell him that." She looked up at his silence, and laughed. "You did."

"Of course I did.  Have you seen some of Mac's friends?" he said causing her to giggle. Billy felt such hope when she laughed. This was the first time since their reunion that he'd made her laugh. She wasn't frowning, or teetering on the verge of tears. He knew they needed to talk. There was so much to discuss, but it could wait....it could wait a little longer. He just needed to keep her off balance.

"They're all pretty."

"Pretty ugly."

"Billy," she gasped, her eyes echoed her laughter. "You are...unbelievable." She shook her head, which caused her hair to ripple from the top, down her shoulders to her back.  

He didn't reply, just pulled her closer. So close that her breasts were mere inches from his chest, and her dress touched the edge of his jacket. She didn't seem to notice. She'd closed her eyes and started humming the last few bars of the song.

The mere- idea of you... the longing- here for you... you'll never know- how slow- the moments go, till I'm near... to you.

He could feel the music move through her, as her lovely voice lulled him into a sense of peace. When was the last time he'd felt this at peace? When was the last time he'd felt at home? When was the last time, he truly felt...anything? With her, with His Lily, he felt everything, and for the first time, in seven years, he truly felt at home.

I see your face... in every flower-Your eyes- in stars above. It's just the though of you... the very thought of you... my love.

 The strains of the music slowed as the last note brought them to a stand still.

"Well, that was..." She trailed off as a slow-mid tempo version of "They can't take that away from me" began. "I..."

They way you wear your hat.

"One more?" he asked staring into her eyes.

The way you sip your tea.

 He watched as she bit her lip, "Just one more."

The memory of all that. No, No, they can't that away from me.

"I..." She began.

The way your smile just gleams.

"Hello Sweetheart."

The way you sing of key, the way you haunt my dreams.

Lily jumped at the sound of the male voice, and attempted to escape from Billy's arms. "Victor...hi," she said flushing. Don't blush, don't blush. You weren't doing anything wrong.

No, No, they can't take that away from me.

"Nick was held up at the office. He told me he called your cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail," he said ignoring Billy's presence.

We may never... Never meet again- on the bumpy road to love.

 "Oh, it's at the table. I..." she fell off. She felt so guilty, her husband had called and she wasn't available to answer his call, because she was in the arms of her ex-boyfriend. "He...he sent a text earlier saying that he was going to be a little late." She said, once again attempting to step out of Billy's grasp, but he held her firm.

"Something came up, so he had to work a little later, but he didn't want you to miss dinner because of him.

But I'll always, always, keep the memory of. 

 "Oh its okay, I understand," she said, and no one believed her. "I know this is important for Newman." She attempted a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Billy hated seeing her hurt, but it was what it was. He wanted to hold her to him, he wanted the feeling to return, but it wasn't going to...at least not tonight. Reluctantly, he slowly removed one hand from her waist, but held onto her right hand.

The way you hold your knife, the way we danced to till three.

 "I'm sorry sweetheart," Victor said. "Nikki and I are having dinner, you should come join us." He spoke to Lily, but his eyes were on Billy, who raised one eyebrow.

"That...that sounds good, but I already ate an entire plate of antipasto. I think I'll just go home and get some rest for tomorrow."

"Are you sure? You know how much Nikki loves your company." He smiled down at her.

"The way you changed my life.

Lily blushed, she wasn't in the mood to talk to Nikki, but she knew that it couldn't be avoided. She just needed to get out of there. The situation was awkward, especially, with Billy just standing there mute, holding her hand.  "Yes, but I will chat with mom for a bit."  Removing her hand from Billy's, she started away, but turned back, "thank you for keeping me company."

Hey No, they can't take that away from me.

"Anything for you," he said and watched as Victor led her away from him. Nicely played Victor, but you won't be able to protect your baby boy. Billy thought, walking to the table he tossed down a Benjamin, and left the restaurant.

No...you- can' t- take- that- away... from me.

****

"Hello," Nick said picking up the phone as he walked into the darkened house. A light was on in the hallway as was usual. It was well almost eleven. And he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with his wife, who he owed big time.  She was very understanding, so unlike the other women he dated, before he'd met her. Especially one, but he'd leave her in the past.

"Nicholas," said the distinctive voice of Victor Newman.

"Dad, what is it?" Nick yawned. "I just got in the house.

 "Everything went well?"

"Yes, couldn't you have asked me this in the morning?" He climbed the steps, until he was at the top, and walked down the short hall that was illuminated by a small night light. He was barely listening to his father, as he turned into his room. The room was cast in darkness, except for the night light she kept on in the bathroom, so that he could move around the room if he came in late, without disturbing her, or hurting himself in the process. He stopped at the bed, looking down on her sleeping form. The flat sheet rested at her waist, the duvet had been casually tossed on his side of the bed. "Is that all?" he asked, going into their large walk in closet.

"No, I think you should take your wife away for a while."

Nick paused in the process of unbuttoning his shirt. "What's going on? You and I both know that Newman can't afford for me take off, when we're so close to finalizing this deal." He slid off his shirt. "Did Lily say something?" he asked. When Victor didn't reply, he took the opportunity to strip off his pants. He laid them on the table for the maid to send to the cleaners in the morning.

"No, but she didn't need to."

Nick sighed, leaning against a dresser. "We'll go away for a nice long vacation once everything is settled," he said padding back to his room, where he sat on his side of the bed, staring down at Lily.

"And you'll take a short one now."

"Dad."

"Nicholas, that wasn't a request. I am telling you to take your wife on a vacation."

"This is so unlike you." She was wearing one of his shirts again, he noted, before moving the comforter to the bench at the foot of the bed.

"Adam can handle your work while you're away."

"So that's it," Nick said growing angry, but keeping his voice down. "You can't just demand that I take a vacation without giving me a reason." Victor was silent on the other end. So silent that Nick looked at his phone to make sure he hadn't hung up. But the words that came, the ones that he'd finally uttered, were not what he'd been expecting. Two words were all it took, two words uttered in a flat emotionless tone, were enough sharpen his awareness.

"Billy Abbott," Victor said, and hung up.

"Billy," Nicholas said, staring down at His wife, who looked as peaceful as an angel. He leaned over, kissed her hair. Sitting up he picked up his cell, and pressed seven. "Mitchell," he said, when he his sleepy assistant picked up the phone. "I need to take my wife on a trip, somewhere romantic, make the arrangement, we leave tomorrow." He hung up the phone, slid down into the bed, and pulled Lily into his arms.

“What the fuck are you doing in my office” Kate said, upon entering her office after to lunch, where she found Billy lounging in her cream and brown Haute House Papillion chair.  She walked around the desk, and sat down in her white tufted armchair. “I asked you a question,” she said, after a few seconds of silence.

He smiled, “still so impatient.”

“Look, Billy, I don’t have time to deal with you, either tell me what you want, or get the fuck out of my office?”

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth,” he tsked.

“Yes,” she said, crossing on leg over the other, arms folded across her the top of her desk.

Billy waited in silence. He wondered if she’d changed much, from the impatient, impetuous, imp he used to know. Kate was tiny, but she had the power of a freight train, with an act now, ask later mentality. Had she changed? He hadn’t spoken to her in about four years. Their meeting had been more her idea than his. She looked relaxed, her posture was straight, her shoulders and arms were relaxed. She looked like a patient teacher, waiting for her pupil to tell her what he needed. Her features were almost serene. She’s improved, thought Billy, even after he’d looked down at her feet, which were on display because of her glass desk. Her left heel was tapping the air, as if she were trying to be careful not to make a sound. Billy smiled, Katie was growing up. Should he given now, or give her the-he deliberately adjusted the left sleeve of his jacket, to look down at his watch, knowing that it would drive her crazy- two minutes and…seventeen seconds it would take, before she’d scream. He sighed, another day Abbott, another day.

“I need you to get something for me.”

Kate stilled her leg. She sat up straighter before replying. “That doesn’t sound like a question.”

“It wasn’t.”

She laughed without humor, “Wow Billy, you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Not in some areas.” He said in a false contemplative tone. “Like when I want something done. I want it done, and I want it done with all due expedience.” His blue eyes bore into her brown ones, “That hasn’t changed.”

There was something else he wanted to say, it was there hanging in the air between them, like an invisible noose, ready to drop over her head and around her neck.

“You can’t come into my office on a Friday, when I am busy finishing up for the week,  so that I might, just might, have some time to spend with my fiancé and order, not ask, me to do something for you. And then,” she placed a hand on her chest, “expect me to do it for you.”

“Yes…I can, and…I think I just did. Now would is good time, Chloe,” he said, using the pseudo name she’d used in New York.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not, that’s what they use to call you.”

Kate closed her eyes as a thousand images ran through her mind, men, different races, features, heights weight, all different, and yet the same. They had all been rich, extremely rich, and she’d almost been no better than a…  She opened her eyes, “Get out.”

“Does Kevin call you Chloe? I know CC and Lily don’t.”

Kate paused, her foot, her breathing, everything just paused. Her blood felt as if it where about to freeze, and her palms began to sweat. “What,” she started, cleared her throat and tried again. “What do you want?”

“Kate, I like you.” Billy said ignoring her question. He had her, but he wanted her calm. “You’re a good friend.” He didn’t want to make an enemy out of Lily’s best friend. If there was anyone, who’d actually help him accomplish his goal, it was the woman in front of him. After all, she had helped them sneak around behind Lily’s parent’s back the first year they were together.  It hadn’t been his intention to play his hand this early, but in this case, a little push went a long way. Kate liked things straight up no chaser, which was how he was going to give it to her. This was just a little prepping, like coating your margarita glass with sugar.  

Of course, she thought, her blood pumping through her veins, bringing her senses into full alert. “This is about Lily.”

“Yes, but let’s pretend that I’m here on business.”

She arched an eyebrow.

“Jabot is about to launch a new fragrance.”

“I don’t deal with sales.”

“Of course not, and I’m not in marketing, but that’s beside the point. As I said, let’s pretend that I’m here on business.”

She nodded.

“If this were business meeting, I would tell you what I want, and you would try to persuade me that you could give me the result that I require.” He said, holding her gaze.

She stared into that bottomless blue gaze unflinchingly. Billy may know some…information about her, and that was her fault more than anything else. But he needed her help, so the playing field may not be even, but she could keep the bases from being loaded against her. “What is it?”

“Her diary,” He said watching the look of surprise wash over her face, before it vanished.

“You have got to be kidding me?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” he said, eyes slightly narrowed.

No, no, snakes don’t look like their kidding, She thought. “Billy you’re asking me to give you my best friend’s diary. To…to give you the book that contains her most intimate thoughts, with details of her private life with Nick. I can’t, it would be an act of betrayal that… she wouldn’t forgive.” Kate said glancing down at the charm bracelet she’d put on that morning. She hadn’t worn it in years, but she’d felt the need to that morning. She wondered what they would say, when they saw it on her. 

“Lily would forgive you, because that’s who she is. But it doesn’t matter, because she will never find out.”

Kate licked her suddenly dry lips, “I think she would notice if her diary went missing.”

Billy smiled, “Why would she notice if an old diary is missing.” He continued at her blank expression. “I don’t want her journal, and by the way that’s what she calls the new one.” He said, letting her know that he’d done his research. “I want the pink diary, with the gold heart shaped lock.”

Kate was shocked, that he’d remembered, but she shouldn’t have been. Billy use to notice everything about Lily. Their relationship had not been received well by many, partly because of jealousy and partly because of the instant undeniable bond that had forged between them, after only one date. There was just something about the way that Bill used to look at Lily that made almost every girl wish to be in her shoes.  

Billy watched her face carefully. “You’re surprised that I remember.”

“Not really. I remember Billy, it’s been seven years, but I remember.” She said, and then picked up a pen for something to do with her hands. “How exactly do you expect me to get this diary?” Was she really thinking about doing this?  “This would still be considered an invasion of privacy, and a betrayal of our friendship. I’ve never betrayed Lily, and I won’t start today, and I can’t even believe you would think that I would.”

“Chloe, Chloe, Chloe,” he said softly, and watched her flinch in reaction. “You play the tough girl, but you and I both know that you’re a romantic at heart. And we both know that you don’t like Nick. And that you believe that I’m a better choice,” he held up a hand, when she made to speak. “I know, I know, let’s not rehash the past.”

“How the hell can we not rehash the past, when you left my friend a mess?” She asked voice rising. “I came from Paris to comfort her, after you broke her heart, all for your own selfish, week ass reasons.”

“Paris huh,” he asked. “Who took you to Paris?”

Kate blanched, “I…”

“Shouldn’t you have been in New York? You know, tucked away in some little restaurant in the village serving coffee to make extra money, and not globe trotting? You were only what, a sophomore at NYU?”

She was quiet, once again the images floated through her head, escaping that place she’d put them in, after everything was said and done.

“First class or private jet,” he asked. “I prefer private. You can do so many….

“Ok,” she said, tossing the pen onto the desk.

  “Kate, I’m not an evil man,” he said with smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “And, I’ve always liked you. You help to balance Lily. She needs someone like you…someone who knows how to help her take a walk on the wild side.”

“You want me to convince her to an affair?”

“Kate, you of all people should know how limited affairs are.” He said rising to his full height. “The only thing I want from you…well at this moment… is her diary.

“And how am I supposed to get it?” She asked bitterly.

“You’re a resourceful woman.” He said turning to leave. “I’m sure you’ll think of something… and fast.”

Kate followed his progress as he walked towards the door. He walked with a surety of one who knows- without a doubt- that he will get what he wants. He was utterly complete in the knowledge that she would do his bidding, and do it will all hast. “Nick is such a non factor for you.” She said when he was at the door.

Billy paused, and turned, giving her a smile that when up to his eyes, but didn’t make them really friendly. “Aww Kate, I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Billy found it refreshing to speak with at least one person, who knew how truly insignificant Nick was. But then this was Kate. She was a romantic, but that didn’t hinder her from going after what she wanted, as if everything else was insignificant, beyond her own desires. “And because I like you. You have until,” He brought his arm up to look at his watch, “seven,” her eyes bulged, “fine eight. Is that better” he asked not really caring. “Don’t say I never did anything for you.” He moved to leave.

“You want me to,” she began, but he cut her off.

“Resourceful, Kate,” he said exiting the office, “Resourceful.”

Kate leaned back in her chair, tapping her fingers on the glass, she smiled. Yes, Billy had something own her, that could do serious damage if revealed, but she was certain that he wouldn’t. Well not a hundred percent, but she knew that Billy wouldn’t want Lily to discover that he’d black mailed her. He would more than likely keep the information to himself.  Billy usually did what Lily wanted, especially if it wouldn’t make her look at him differently. However that was the old Billy, the man in front of her was a completely different animal, who could still reveal what he knew. 

And yet the smile remained, because although she pretended ignorance, she knew exactly where the diary was. It was going to be her first betrayal, but if she let her heart lead her, and not her mind, then she knew she was doing the right thing. Lily still loved Billy, and despite what he’d done, and how much he’d hurt her. Kate believed that Billy would never repeat that mistake. He wouldn’t be doing all of this, unless he was playing for keeps. And she had no doubt that Billy had returned with the sole purpose of destroying Lily’s marriage. A marriage to a man, who wasn’t worthy of the love Lily had bestowed upon him. Billy was going to destroy Nick. Kate only hoped that Lily didn’t get caught in the crossfire. She closed her eyes, and tried to block the image of her friend’s smiling face on the day of her wedding.  But she couldn’t drown out the phantom words that swept through her mind.  We’re going to be happy Kate, so stop worrying, Nick loves me, and I…I love him. Kate, be happy for me.  Kate pulled herself out of the memory and sighed. “What kind of friend am I?”

***

Lily’s heels clacked against the hardwood floors, as she made her way from the conference room, heading to her office. She didn’t look at anyone. She didn’t turn her heard to acknowledge the faces that watched her pass, or the whispers that followed in their wake. She was in the zone…the pissed off zone, which was not a place she was used to being. She was a happy person. She was a good person, and a very nice person, but at this moment, she didn’t feel like being nice.  Perhaps she was overreacting, but it didn’t feel that way. She felt that she was righteous in her anger. She had every right to be upset. And why shouldn’t she, when he’d done, something so…so… so very Billy.

She made a sharp left, almost colliding with the kid from the mailroom, who she ignored as he yelled out an apology, for being in her way. It was rude, she knew it was rude, but she couldn’t speak. She didn’t want to speak, because if she did. She might scream. How could he?

“Lily,” Colleen and Kate called simultaneously from their positions on the couch in their large private lounge area.

She threw up one hand in a ‘not now’ gesture and continued towards her office, which was on the opposite end of the lounge. 

“I think she knows,” Colleen said watching Lily’s retreating form.

“I’m sure she knows,” said Kate.

“Should we tell her he’s in her office?”

“We tried.”

“That wasn’t trying.”

“Colleen, what do you want me to do, tackle her to the ground?”

“She’s going to wish we had.”

Kate stood and stretched, “I have to make a run.”

“You’re leaving!”

“Colleen she can handle him.”

“I know she can, but…”

Kate flopped back down, “Fine, you don’t have to pull my arm.”

Colleen looked at her, but didn’t say anything.

***

There, Lily thought upon seeing her office door. She was almost home free. “Ha,” she could go to her office and scream as loud as she wanted to, and the only people, who could hear her, would be Colleen and Kate- and their assistants, but only if she was still screaming, when they return from the meeting, that Colleen and Kate never attended.  It would be slightly embarrassing, but she might as well get used to being embarrassed, because her life was about to become one huge embarrassment.

She stopped a few steps from her door. Maybe she was being a tad over dramatic? It wasn’t as if everyone would know.

She stared down at the hardwood floor, lost in thought. Her day hadn’t begun promising, but it had gotten better with each passing minute. She’d woken up to breakfast in bed, which had been nice. Nick had stood her up again. He’d tried to apologize. But somewhere, inside, she’d had about as much as she could take. 

***

“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of Nicks mouth, when he’d placed a tray with two scrambled eggs, a croissant, a small bowl a fresh fruit and a glass orange juice in front of her.

Lily looked down and picked up a single long stemmed white rose that lay across the top. Lifting it, she inhaled the sweet aroma of the flower. Closing her eyes, her mind conjured up a pair of deep smiling blue eyes, which belonged to someone presenting her with a Stargazer lily. Her eyes flew open, and she subconsciously set down the rose.

“You’re angry,” Nick said sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yes,”

He sighed dramatically. “Lily it…

She held up her hand, affectively cutting him off. “I know it was business. It’s always business.” She didn’t know why, but her throat felt tight. She felt as if she wanted to cry, which was ridiculous, because she was use to this. She was use to Nick putting business before their marriage.

“Lils,” he said touching her hand, imploring her to look at him, because her eyes were staring down at her plate. He wasn’t sure what to say. He tried again, “Lily, it’s almost done, and...”

“And then you’ll have time for me,” she said looking up.

“Lily it’s not like that,”

“No Nick, then what is it like?” She said trying to remove her hand from his firm grip. Lily wasn’t sure why she was reacting this way. She should just say that it was ok, that she understood, but the words wouldn’t come. “Because from what I can see, that’s exactly what it’s like. You only make time for me when you’re not tied up with some acquisition or business deal.” She heard her next sentence playing through her mind, and she forced the words back, but knew that she couldn’t hold them.”

“Lily I love you. You are my life.”

“No Nick, Newman is your life, and I’m just your support system.” She swallowed hard in an attempt to fight back the tears she could feel gathering in here eyes. No…Lily stop, she needed to stop. O God, what was wrong with her.  She closed her eyes, and was met with a heat filled blue gaze, that awakened things deep in her body that had been a sleep for years.  She felt the strength and power of strong arms around her waist, holding her as if she were the most precious thing in the world, and it was enough to bring the first tear. “Nick,” she said. Her throat felt scratchy. “I need something...we need something.”

Nick’s heart ached at the expression on her face. She looked lost, as if she didn’t know what to say to him, and he didn’t want to hear, what she might say. Removing the tray, he gathered her in his arms, apologizing over and over again, as he she laid against him.

They sat in silence, neither saying anything. Lily just concentrated on the feel of his arms around her and the scent that was only Nick. She breathed him in, needing to banish all other thoughts, of other smells. Her senses needed to be reminded of home. This, here in these arms, was home.

 “I was thinking,” Nick began, “that we could get away for a while.”

Lily looked up.

“Just you and I, I’ve already spoken with my father about it, and made a few arrangements.”

“You…You want us to take a trip?” She said not able to keep the skepticism out her voice. It had been over six months since they’d gone on vacation.

“Yeah,” he lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. “I know this is last minute, but I think we could use a vacation. It’s been a while, since we’ve spent any real time together. I want to spend everyday, all day with you and only you.”

Lily bit her lip. “I.”

“The magazine will be fine without you.” He said halting any protest she might raise.

“But, what about this deal, you told me how important it was for Newman.”

“Someone else can take care of it,” he twisted a lock of her hair around his finger, bringing her face close to his so that there lips almost touched. “I’m going to enjoy making love to my wife, all day,” he kissed her, “all night,” kiss, “from sun up” kiss, “to sun down,” he kissed her long and deep, before pulling away. “Will you come away with me?”

Her heart leapt, and she knew she’d have a lot to take care of, but she needed this. They needed this. “Yes,” she said, and slid her arms around his neck. “I can’t wait.”

Nick hugged her tight against him, laughing as she squealed in surprise, when he pushed her down on the bed, his chest never left hers.  

 ***

They’d made love twice, once slow and sweet in bed, and then fast and frenzied in the shower. They’d both ended up late to work. She was excited, and giddy about going away with him. And yet it, it didn’t dispel the images from last night, which began to bleed into her past, mixing with thoughts of days gone by.

 The way she was feeling, the scene with Nick, and her inability to concentrate were all because of last night. She should have made him leave, but no. She’d danced with him, and that dance, being so close to him, was why she was completely thrown off her guard today. Last night, and most of today, she couldn’t seem stop herself from thinking about him…about…them. 

***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ten Years Ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Tiger,” Billy said, approaching Lily, who standing at her locker.  

Lily turned at the sound of his voice, and jumped into his arms. “I made it Billy, I made it.” She said cheesing up at him, standing on her tip toes.

“Made what?” he asked holding her close.

“The Dance team,” she said smiling from ear to ear.

“Well congratulations.”

“I…I didn’t think I would make it after I was late to practice.” She said arms still around his neck. “She was not happy with me, and even made a snide comment about her dancers always being on time, or something to that effect.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe it. You were right.”

“I think I should be offended,” he said.

Her face clouded over, “O, I… I didn’t mean it that way.” She moved to step back, when she realized that she was in his arms. She, Lily Amanda Winters, was in the hallway wrapped in Billy Abbott’s arms. She froze, this could look really bad. She removed her arms from around his neck and made to step back, when his arms tightened around her, causing her to fall forward. Catching her self with her palms against his chest she looked up confused.

“I was only kidding,” he said with that famous grin on his face, holding her tight. “I did tell you to trust me.”

She nodded, feeling as if the cat had gotten her tongue.

“I told you, you would make, and you did.”

She nodded, “Yes, you did.” She attempted to step back, but he held her still. “Billy?”

“You stood me up,” he said capturing her gaze with his suddenly serious blue eyes.

Lily wanted to blink, she wanted to turn away, but it was as if his eyes were magnetic and she was a magnet that couldn’t pull away. “I told you…”

“I know what you said, but you told me that you wanted to go out with me.”

He’s so serious, thought Lily mesmerized by the blue fire in his eyes. “I did…I meant… I do.” She bit her lip, and looked down breaking his gaze.

“Lily,” he said softly raising her chin, to capture her eyes again. “Why did you stand me up?”

She thought back to the message Billy had someone deliver to her in class that Friday. It had told her where to meet him, but she’d been too nervous when the time came to actually go through with it. She’d have had to sneak out of the house and lie to her parents. She’d been so nervous about the whole thing, and every time she attempted to tell them the lie she’d come up with- that she was going to hang out with CC and Kate, who they didn’t know both had dates- she ended getting tongue tied,  and then returning to her room. She may have been able to get past her father, but there was no way she would have gotten past her mother. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to…”

“Lie,” he said, finally letting his eyes show a bit of humor. “I don’t think you would have made it, if you’d had to lie. So let me take care of it.

“What?”

“We’re going on a date.” He said, tucking a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.

“When,” she asked slightly dazed. His index finger was still resting lightly against her ear. It felt…nice-really nice.

“Soon,” he said mysteriously.

“But how will I know the date?”

He sighed, “You, my little Tiger, are a terrible liar, so let’s just say that you’ll know, when you need to know. “

She frowned and was about to reply when someone spoke from behind Billy.

“I hope you’re not going to be late to practice…again,” said a stern feminine voice.

Lily jumped at the sound of Mrs. Parker’s voice, “Umm, no ma’am.” She said trying to step away from Billy, whose arms tightened around her.

“She’ll be there on time,” he said looking down at Lily, while slowly releasing her. “I’ll arrange everything.”

“Ok,” she said, and then looked around him to Mrs. Parker, who was frowning at Billy’s back. She moved to go, but was forced to stop, when his left arm snaked out across her stomach, his hand cupping her side.  He leaned down to ear and whispered, “Tell me if she upsets you.” Lily blinked confused by the comment, but nodded, and moved off, when he dropped his hand.

She hurried off down the hall, but paused when she heard Billy, who was standing close to Mrs. Parker, call after her, “Don’t forget TL.” Lily wanted to ask what TL meant, but didn’t since he was speaking with Mrs. Parker, who didn’t seem at all happy with him. “Tiger,” she said aloud, as she made her way down the silent hall. She found that her stomach sort of squeezed, whenever he called her that. But she wasn’t a tiger. She was more of a…well, a lily. She stopped dead in her tracks. “Tiger…Lily,” she said testing the words. “TL must be for Tiger Lily.” He…he’d given her a nickname? He didn’t really know her and yet…he’d already given her a nickname. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she knew she wasn’t angry. She just didn’t know what to call the warm feeling that suddenly rushed upon her. Tiger Lily, she thought, I’m his Tiger Lily.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ten Minutes Ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tiger “

“What,” Lily said startled out of her daydream. “Did you just say tiger,” She looked down the glossy black rectangular conference table, past the confused faces of her employees, and stopped at a young guy, with blonde hair and green eyes. She couldn’t remember his name, but she new he was senior executive, who wasn’t much older than her.

“Yes Mrs. Newman.” He replied, looking at her as if she’d grown a second head.

Shit, thought Lily. She’d been daydreaming at an office meeting. What they hell kind of CEO was she? People had had doubts that someone so young could take charge of the operations side of the magazine, but she’d proven them wrong. She was sure they’d be rolling in their seats if they could see her right now. “What about it…” She paused trying to remember his name.

“Dylan,” he said, filing in for her.

Dylan? Was he the guy Georgie was dating? “Well Dylan,” she said coolly.

“We just started a new account with Jabot for their new fragrance.”

Jabot has a new fragrance? Billy did mention that he wanted to discuss some advertising with me, but... “What does Jabot’s new fragrance have to do with tigers?” She asked. They were really going to think that she was daft. She sighed. I should have been paying attention.

“The fragrance…The fragrance is called Tiger Lily.”

“What,” she shrieked. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears. She…She couldn’t have heard him right? There was no way- no way that he’d just said that Jabot’s new fragrance was called- she had to have misunderstood him. Yes, that was it, he didn’t say…

“Lily,” Georgie asked her boss, who sitting on her left.

Lily blinked, they must have said something, but she didn’t here them. She could only hear the beating of her heart, like an echo down a long tunnel.  She needed to pull it together, and find out if she’d heard what she was sure she hadn’t heard. That didn’t make any sense,” she thought, but didn’t really care. “When was the deal finalized for this…new fragrance?”

“Well it’s been in the works for a while,” said a female from the marketing department, “Although the deal wasn’t finalized until Monday.”

 Shouldn’t she have known this? She did recall Colleen mentioning something or another about her uncle Jack mentioning to her that they wanted to purchase some ad space, but that was about it. She didn’t deal with all the small nuances, but…She should have known--shouldn’t she? “Ok.   I suppose we’ll be featuring it in the August issue?” Several people at the table exchanged glances, and for the umpteenth time in less than ten minutes, Lily wished that she had been paying better attention to the meeting instead of thinking about… “What? Did I miss something?”

“Umm…”Dylan began, but sighed in relief when Roxanne, the SR. Vice President of Marketing answered for him.

“Lily, Mr. Romolatti was hoping that we could put it in the July issue. I said yes.  We had room for an extra ad, with Kate’s last minute decision to do a small layout featuring a sneak peak at Amber’s fall collections.”

“And you discussed this with Colleen and Kate?” She asked still curious about the name. She couldn’t have heard him right. She just couldn’t have! But how was she supposed to confirm it, without asking again. And that was the last thing she would do.

“I haven’t had the chance, but I figured the ad could be placed before or after the new line. Although I think after would be better, but I’ll leave that up to Colleen and Kate.” Said Roxanne, who tapped her pen lightly against the portfolio in front her. “But I suppose it doesn’t matter, seeing as they have the same theme. 

Ok, here it was, but she couldn’t ask about the theme, because she should have been paying attention. Hell, she should’ve known without paying attention, after all Amber was a close friend. What kind of friend doesn’t remember a friend’s newest Collection, especially when said friend babbles on and on about every new collection?  Lily was certain that Amber had told her about it. She thought hard, it…It was something with animals.  Yes something with…Cats- big cats. She remembered admiring a black and white stripped suede swing coat in Amber’s studio. Amber had told her that her inspiration for the fall collection had come to her after she’d taken her son to the San Diego Zoo last summer.  She’d fallen in love with the large white-“tigers.” Lily asked.

“Yes,” Roxanne replied. “The Tiger Lily ad would be a nice touch. It would look as if the fall season were about all things tiger, both fierce and delicate.”

O my god…O my god. Her mind chanted as she tried to keep her features composed. She needed to get out there. She needed to…To kill Billy Abbot. How could he, how could he do something so…so… She couldn’t even think of a word, she so angry.  Why would he do this? Tiger Lily was…It was personal. “Roxanne that sounds good,” she replied, without knowledge of what she was replying to. She looked up at the conference room clock, they still needed to discuss the sales projections for next month’s issue, but she didn’t have to be here for that. Georgie would stay and take notes. “I have an appointment.” She said, looking at Georgie, before she could say anything, when they both knew that she was lying. “George will stay and take notes. I trust her, so if there is anything that needs to be voted on, she has my proxy.” She picked up her Filo-fax organizer, and departed the room without a backwards glance.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Present~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lily massaged her temples with her left middle finger and thumb. She felt like such an idiot. She couldn’t imagine what her employee’s thought her. Anyone else would have played it straight, pretended nothing was wrong, but no. Not her. She had to react, which only gave them cause to gossip. It wouldn’t take a genius to put two and two together.  Why did he do it? What was he trying to prove? And it could have only have been him, because Jack wouldn’t have done something so…daring. Anyone who’d known them when they were together would have known that he called her Tiger, Tiger Lily, or TL. Anyone would know, Colleen, Kate, her father, her brother, and…and…her husband. “Shit,” she said, walking in to her office, “That mother fu...”

“Do you ladies welcome all of your guests with such language or am I just special?”

Lily started, taken a back by the intruder. No it can’t be,” She thought. Her gaze moved around her office-that was illuminated by sunlight- until they found him, standing next to one of the windows staring out the vertical blinds. If she didn’t know any better, she would swear that he planned this. “What the hell are you doing in my office?”

“So it must be just for me,” he said, “Should I be honored?”

“What are you doing my office?” She didn’t have time for this, not his snide remarks or his blasé attitude. She didn’t have time for him. Not after his latest stunt. No…she needed to put some distance between her and him, or she was likely to kill him.

“I had some business to attend to in the area,” he said letting the blinds fall back into place, before turning around. “So I swung by to chat with CC. We really haven’t had a chance to catch up.

“Colleen is in the lounge, I just passed her on my way here. I’m sure you saw her, and even if you didn’t, her office is on the other side. So why aren’t you with her?”

“I was. We had a nice informative chat.

***

“Billy, why are you here?” CC said standing in front of her the desk.

“I wanted to see you?” Billy replied grinning down at his niece, who was frowning at him.

“About what?”

“Nothing in particular, I just wanted to catch up with my favorite niece.”

“Hmm, hmm”

“And what was that for?

“You and I both know that you are not here to play catch up?”

“Then why am I here?

“O, I don’t know, could it have any thing to do with breaking up my best-friend’s marriage? And if that’s the reason you’re here, you might as well walk out that door, because I will not help you destroy Lily’s marriage.”

Billy sighed, “Well, I guess we don’t have anything to talk about do we?”

“You…you’re not even going to deny.” She said moving away from the desk.

“And why would I, when we’d both know that I was lying.”

Colleen groaned, “Billy, please don’t do this. She’s…she’s happy, and satisfied with her life. You left her, not the other way around, and now you’ve decided that you want her back, but Billy… Lily loves Nick” She moved closer to Billy. “She really loves him.”

“I’m not saying she doesn’t.” He said stepping away from her and heading towards the door. He would never hurt Colleen, but she was pissing him off. They were family, and she was taking Nick’s side… just as he thought she would. This was another test, and CC had failed, but then he knew she would. CC was happily married, and happily married women don’t –well they shouldn’t- scheme to break up their friends “happy” marriage. 

“So you’ll back off, and let them be. Let her be happy.” She asked following him towards the door.

“Why don’t they have kids yet?” He asked.

“I,” she started, and then stopped and stare at the back of his head.

“That’s right, you don’t know, but I do. And I think that if you think about it for a little while, you’ll know too.” He’d left, without a backwards glance, stopping next to test Kate, who he was certain, would pass. 

***

“That doesn’t explain why you are here, in my office?” Lily said, snapping him out of his musings.

“It would have been rude of me, not to stop in, and say hello.” He said brushing off her question.

She crossed her arms over her chest, “But it wasn’t rude of you to come into my office uninvited?”

“Yeah, that was a little rude.”

“A little,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “Billy you’d be extremely angry if you found me in your office alone, without you, or your assistant’s permission to be there.”

“Not if you were dresses like this,” his eyes moved over the black suite that was molded to her body to perfection, down to the crisscrossed patterned sheer stocking that covered her long legs, and ending at her black paten-leather platform pumps, with ankle straps. She looked liked vixen from the golden era of Hollywood in her all black, with her tousled hair, smoky eyes, and glossy lips, which were forming the most sensuous pout.  He was certain that she didn’t mean for it to be sensual…but it was.

She didn’t respond.  She didn’t think she was capable, as her stomach tightened more and more as he took in each one of her features. 

 “But you’re right. I wouldn’t have been happy if it were anyone else.” 

“Why I on the other hand would have preferred to find almost anyone else in my office…besides you.”

“Wow, what did I do to get on your bad side?

“What did you do?” She asked and laughed without humor. “O I don’t know…maybe naming Jabot’s new fragrance after my old pet name?

“I take you don’t approve.”

“And why the hell would I approve?” she said walking towards him. “Why would I approve of you naming a fragrance after something that was so personal between the two of us? Why would I approve of you naming a fragrance after something that anyone could trace back to our past relationship? Do you even know how this looks?” She finished stopping near her desk. Her amber eyes had turned a brilliant gold that shined with righteous indignation.

“The smell reminded me of you.” He said strolling lazily towards her.

Lily watched infuriated, as he approached her with a satisfied smile on his lips. He seemed to be taking pleasure in this, when there was nothing pleasurable about the situation. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, you were my first thought, when I took a whiff of the perfume, my… only thought,” He said stopping, close enough so that if he reached out, only the tips of his finger would brush her suite. “It was as if every memory I’ve ever had of you flowed to the front of my brain. I could see you so clearly. Smiling, laughing, shinning with that inner joy that is infectious, and makes everyone want to feel as you do…be as you are. Wild as nature intended you to be, as soft and delicate as the wind that captured your essence, swirling it around like a cyclone, sucking up every other fragrance in an open field until there is nothing but stillness, and you.”

Lily was transfixed by his words. And yet it wasn’t just the words, it was the whimsical look in his eyes. She could tell that he was thinking, remembering the exact moment he’d smelled the scent. She could tell he was being honest. It was there in his expression, they way he looked at her. The look was one that she knew well, and had never thought to see again. She turned away, “That…That doesn’t excuse anything. You could have named it wild rose or…or something else.

“To boring, not…exotic enough, and not you,” he said.

She turned back, “Not me? Billy, you shouldn’t be thinking about me. I…I’m a married woman, a happily married woman.” She said taking an involuntary step forward. “Billy I should be the last think you think about.”

“But you’re not. It doesn’t matter what I do, or who I do, you are never the last thing on my mind.” He reached out trailing the back of his hand across her cheek. She stepped back, and he let her, dropping his hand to his side. “You’ve always been here,” he pointed to his head, “and…” He pause, no it was too soon to tell her that she was the woman in his heart, the only woman who would ever be there. He had given her his heart, and in her hands is where it lay and would always stay.

She didn’t know what say, which seemed to be a daily occurrence as of late. It was as if she were living her life through mirrors. She could see what was happening, the image was mimicking her gestures, but she didn’t have a voice, it was as if something else was controlling her, taking away her ability to say the things that were buried deep within her heart.  Or maybe she’d always been here, sleeping, behind the mirror, and was finally waking up to listen to the stranger she’d created to protect her, from the man who standing in front of her. “I don’t want to be the person you think about. I have a husband who loves me, who really loves me, and who I love in return.

  She watched as the emotion in his eyes shut down as easily as if hitting a switch.

“What you did, what you’re doing it’s wrong. I don’t know what you hope to accomplish, but I am not going to leave my husband for you. It’s not going to happen. I love Nick…

“Yeah, and he loves you,” Billy spat. “He loves you so much that he stood you up last night for work?” He began angrily. He wasn’t going to listen this. He would not stand by, while she waxed on about Nicholas Newman.  “I’m going to go out on a wild guess and say that wasn’t the first time.” He smirked. “I’m betting the minute the mustache says jump, little Victor says how hi.

“You don’t-”

“Why should he meet his wife, when she’s all dolled up waiting for him, with her heart on her sleeve, when he can just send his father in his stead?”

“Shut up.”

“O wait, did I strike nerve.”

Lily reached back and moved to slap him, but Billy caught her and yanked her toward him. She fell forward into his arms, his free hand wrapped around her waist.  She struggled against him. “You might want to stop that.” He said, as her body moved against his.

She stopped seeing the heat in his eyes. “Then let me go?”

He smiled, “Nope.”

“Billy, let me go or I will scream and have you tossed out on your arrogant ass.”

Billy slid the hand around her waist down to cup her rear. He knew that he shouldn’t, but he’d been fighting a loosing battle, since from the moment he first saw her at the party. He needed to kiss her, to feel her lips against his, to see if she tasted as good as he remembered. “Lily,” he said, in deep voice filled with longing.

She shivered at the sound, her dormant need for him had awakened like a hungry bear after seven long years of hibernation. She felt warm and yet cold. The longing was like an ice cave, where her secret hopes and dream of a reunion slept.  Hopes and dreams she’d tried to bury, when she met Nicholas, but she couldn’t bury them. She had only been able to freeze them in time, placing huge boulders filled with pain and heartache to cover the cave and keep them at bay. The boulders were still in place, but the cave was melting on the inside moving towards the outside, and seeping through the cracks that his reappearance had begin to make in her defenses. She needed to hold on to her defense. She need... “Billy,” she gasped in slightly hoarse voice, “don’t,” she began in vain.

His tongue slid along her bottom lip, taunting, teasing her senses, sending a delicious shiver down her spine. His mouth moved from her lips, trailing kisses over her cheek, to ear, where he took the soft lobe between his teeth, and added just enough pressure to cause her to press her body closer. She moaned at the feel of his body pressed tight against hers. Her nipples grew tight in response. His chest was hard against hers, as his hands moved over her rear, bringing her closer to the hardness that rested snug between her thighs. He added more pressure, causing her to out the moan she'd been desperately holding in.

They shouldn't be doing this, it wasn't right, anyone could see them. "We..." She gasped, when she felt him grind his harness in tiny circles against her core. "Oh," She said as his tongue slid along the edge of the ear that lay between his full lips. They needed to stop, "We shouldn't be doing this here."

"Why not," he replied in a lust filled voice.

"Any...Anyone could see us."

He moved one hand up and down the smooth contours of her back. He released her ear, causing her to whimper, and brought his forehead to rest against her. "I suppose, that is a problem." One hand moved over her shoulder, and ran down her side, causing her to shiver again. "Cold?" he asked smiling into her eyes.

"N-No," she said staring up into his warm green eyes, as the wind blew against her wet skin. The heat of his body combined with the cool breeze coming off the ocean, and the cold waves gliding over her feet, all served to heighten her already delicate senses.

"Too bad, I was hopping to warm you up." He bent down to kiss her soft pink lips, but ended up kissing her cheek, when she turned her head. He moved his mouth down to the inside of her neck, and inhaled her scent. She smelt of salt, vanilla, and...Lily.

"We're supposed to go sight seeing," she said, trying to keep them on track, but he wasn't listening to her. "Nick," she said attempting to wiggle free.

He groaned, "Keep doing that, and I will never let you go."

"Then let's go, we were supposed to be on our way back to the house, not putting on a show for everyone to see."

He sighed, she was right, but it was damned hard to do with her pressed against him wearing nothing more than two strips of cloth. "Alright, you win," at her smile he added, "Just as long as we share the shower."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she stepped back, when his arms loosened.

"Well then, lead the way Mrs. Newman...Lead the way."

***

Lily lightly ran a finger over the pink Hibiscus tucked in her hair. Nick had given it to her while she was getting dressed for their outing.  She loved the feel of the silky flower. The soft pink blossom stood out against her dark tresses, and added a dash of color that complimented her floor length white maxi dress. She'd smiled, remembering the way her heart filled with love, when he'd come up behind her, and slid the flower into her hair. She couldn't remember the last time he'd done something so simple. Lily loved the simple things. It was so easy to go to the store and pick out an expensive piece of jewelry, but picking a flower, cooking a meal or having a hot bath waiting for your partner after a long day of work, were simple ways to show you cared. 

Nick was always buying her some bauble or doing something grand, so she treasured the small tokens of love, because they never came easy for him. She supposed it had something to do with being a Newman. Why would he think of the little things, when his father was rich as Croesus, and he'd grown up with everything handed to him on a silver platter?  And yet that had never stopped...

She frowned, "Billy," she breathed.  Don't! No... No she wasn't going to go there. She shook her head to dislodge the unwanted thoughts from Friday. She couldn't think about Friday, she'd placed it in her cave, where it needed to stay. What happened that day was just...she just couldn't think about it. It had been a lovely two days and she didn't want to spoil them with thoughts of...Him.  She wouldn't let him ruin their time together. He was back in Genoa City, while she was here in the Bahamas with her husband. She and Nick had left Genoa City Friday evening by private plane, arriving in the Bahamas later that night. They'd been so tired when they arrived that they crashed as soon as they saw their bed.

Their first day was spent in bed, making love, talking, and just enjoying each others company. Today had been the first time they'd actually ventured off the large property of the hotel they were staying in. Actually they hadn't gone more than a mile from their private beach front villa the on the hotel's extensive property. There was so much to take advantage of and yet, they'd only gone to the beach.

Lily looked around the brightly colored walls of the Lucaya Market, as she sat at a table in Count Basie square, waiting for the night entertainment to begin.  She enjoyed the sound of the soft steel drum, and hum of the different accented voices from several nearby tables, Bahamian, French, British, American, and possibly Australian or New Zealand. She wasn't sure, but she enjoyed the blend, the voices reminded her that she wasn't in Genoa City. She was far away from home on an exotic island with her husband.

"Here," Nick said, and placed a freshly hollowed coconut filled with a blue margarita in front of her.

"Thanks," she said before taking a sip of the cold beverage. "This is good," it was a perfect blend of sweetness, with a hint of tang.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it," he said pulling out a chair and sitting in the seat across from her. "You're not exactly easy to please when it comes to alcohol." He knew that she didn't like to drink a lot, which was in part due to her finicky taste buds, but mostly because her father was a recovering alcoholic.

"You say that as if I'm the pickiest person in the world."

"I plead the fifth." He smiled and then jumped, when she kicked him under the table. "What's that for?" 

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Don't what me," he asked, loving the playful smile that graced her perfect lips. "I know you remember." God he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to do more than kiss her. He wanted to throw her on this table and make love to her, until she screamed his name like she did this morning. Deeper, that's it...Oh yes...Right...There. Nick, it feels...So good.  He needed to get it together.

"Oh, do you now?" She said, and then took a sip of her drink.

"Oh yes." Unable to resist her moist lips, which were lightly wet from her drink, he leaned across the small table and captured her mouth with his. He moved his tongue over her lips, tasting the delicious sweetness of her, combined with the margarita. He wanted to deepen the kiss, to let his tongue slid between her lips, and get tangled with hers, while tasting more of her sweetness, but he reluctantly pulled back. 

"Maybe we should skip the show," she said voice smoldering with heat.

"I thought you were looking forward to this," he said teasingly, and laughed when she scowled at him, before returning to her drink. "See, you are not as innocent as you try to pretend." His heat filled gaze watched her throat work as she sipped the liquid, "You are not a helpless kitten," his mind drifted back to this morning, waking up to the feel of her mouth on him. "You're something wilder, more feral, like a cheetah, no...a tiger."

She choked, and spat her drink out on to the table. She coughed trying to find air that wouldn't come. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest, she was sure that it was going to burst out at any moment. She could hear its frantic beat drumming in her ears, along with Nick's concerned voice. She flinched, when she felt his hand pat her back, and then relaxed into his touch, taking the napkins he offered her. She wiped her mouth, cleaned the small amount of liquid from the table, and then silently returned them for him to discard. She tried to slow her breathing, but it was as if she was back in that pool, standing in twelve feet of water, the deep blue water, that wasn't-- water. Because no water could make her feel like this, only eyes, rich blue passion filled eyes that reminded her of twilight. Right as the sun and the moon met, and the sky turned that deep majestic blue that left you in awe of its beauty.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked hovering above her.

She looked up into his concerned eyes, concerned green eyes. Wrong color, her mind said. "No," she said aloud and then shook her head, "I meant yes- I'm fine." What was wrong with her? Everything had been going well and she'd freaked out all because he'd said...NO! Her mind screamed. She wouldn't say it, she couldn't say it. If she did, she'd remember, and she couldn't remember. She wouldn't remember. "I think it went down the wrong pipe."  She lied, avoiding his eyes. You're a terrible liar.

"Are you sure?" Nick asked concern heavy in her voice.

No. "Yes." She attempted a smile. Why had he said that? Didn't he know? How could he not know? He had to know...right. Maybe he was testing her. She thought subconsciously nibbling on her bottom lip.

"Do you want to go back to the room?"

She stared into his eyes, and saw nothing but concern for her well being staring back at her. She chided her self for her suspicious comment. What was happening to her? "I'm fine," she touched his cheek, leaned in, and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Let's stay and enjoy the show."

"Are you sure?" he asked again, watching the way her cheeks flushed, and wondered what caused that bloom. She was probably just embarrassed, because a few people had actually stopped to stare at them. Idiots acted as if they had never seen anyone choke before.

"I love you," she said in reply, which seemed to ease the tension from his shoulders.

"I love you too," he said and kissed.

She smiled, while attempting to seal up the crevices that had been recently made in her emotional boulders. She would not let him ruin this. She'd made a mistake, one mistake and nothing else would come of it.

***

Billy wasn't happy, angry would be a better description, but Billy rarely got angry anymore.  And yet as he sat on the sofa in Cane and Mac's living room, with a lukewarm cup of coffee in one hand, and as he stared down at his Blackberry in the other, he realized that perhaps, just perhaps, he was slightly angry.  The text message in front of him wasn't something that he wanted to hear. It was an easy fix, a well placed phone call and all would be right with the world.  But he couldn't ease the phantom flame heating his body, and not in a good way. Maybe he was being irrational? It wasn't as if things weren't going according to plan.

Kate had come through and produced the diary, without having to beg him for more time. She had sent it over with a note that said ‘fuck off.' He remembered smiling fondly at the note. If Kate hadn't already had a job working with Lily, he'd have offered her one working for him, but not for Jabot. Jabot wasn't Billy's only gig, although to everyone else, it was all he had, (but that's a story for another day).

Billy hadn't been surprised that she'd gotten the diary ahead of schedule.  He approached her knowing that she probably knew exactly where it was. She'd put on a good act, a very convincing act, but he'd known that she probably had a few cards up her sleeve.  Kate was good, but he was better, so he let her put on her little act. It had been quite amusing.

He could say that Friday had been one of the best days of his life, and yet today, a mere two days later he was angry, and ...Jealous. He glanced down at the text again, his hands tightened on the phone as he read the words for the fifth time in ten minutes.

He took her out of the country. I believe they are in the Bahamas. A.

He didn't need to ask who he was. He was a coward, and she...she was Billy's everything. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe, but he found it an extremely difficult task. Why had he done it? Why had he let his baser instinct rule him? If he hadn't, he would have been able to read the message and laugh at Nick's attempt to keep her out of his reach. The fool didn't realize that the Grim Reaper couldn't keep him away from Lily. Only the Lord above could, and he prayed that day was a long way off, which was saying something, because he was not a praying man. A praying man should never seek out to steal another mans wife, but for Lily, for her well being, he'd pray all day, everyday.  He wasn't worthy of prayers, but she was, his Lily was good and special. Her husband on the other hand was an undeserving moron, who put everything in front of her. Billy had known before he left, that learning the business would have to take top priority and he never wanted her to feel second best, although that's probably how she'd ended up feeling.

He sipped the coffee and frowned. What the hell was in this stuff? Knowing Mac, it was probably some healthy organic sweetener made from recycled cow shit. Ugh, he didn't know how Cane did it, but then love made a man accepting of things that he'd never normally consider. He sat the coffee down on the hand carved brown wooden coaster that sat on top of the sturdy blonde coffee table.  He looked around the cheery den with its bright blue and white wicker furniture, blonde accent tables, small green plants, large fire place and nautical knick knacks.  The room was warm, it looked as if it belonged on a yacht or a house in Cape Cod, and not the Genoa City suburbs. He was sure that his eldest niece Stephanie-Katherine had a hand in they way the room looked. Mac had sent him pictures of the girls' first trip to the beach this past April, with a note detailing the trip. She said that Steph had demanded they move to the beach upon their return. Of course they hadn't, but that hadn't stopped Cane from redecorating- without Mac's consent- the entire den to suite is eldest princess. Cane was such a pushover when it came to the women in his life. Billy shook his head. He would never be that way.  Yeah right, who am I kidding? Lily had could ask him for anything- well, almost anything- and he would give it to her. He groaned. He should have given her what she'd asked him for on Friday, but of course he hadn't. So now here he was, at his brother's house, after a decent dinner, where he'd been entertained by his nieces, and feeling a rising anger that wouldn't let go. This was not the place, and most definitely not the time to feel angry and slightly, ever so slightly...jealousy.  Why the fuck had he kissed her?

***

"Billy," she gasped in a slightly hoarse voice, "don't," she began in vain as his mouth came down upon hers. Her lips were as soft as the petals of a lily, and as full as two perfect down pillows. They felt exactly as he'd remembered. She tasted exactly has he remembered. He released the hand he was holding, the one that tried to slap him, and wrapped his around her waist to bring her even closer. He felt her fist hit his chest once, but then lay there and unfurl so that her palm rested over his heart. He wanted more. He wanted to fully taste her. His tongue moved over her lips begging for entry, which she gave without question. He slid his tongue into her warm mouth, and teased hers to life. She moved it against his at first tentatively as if she were relearning him, which he supposed he was. He didn't feel cautious. He dove in, exploring, remembering, seeking, and searching for the warmth that he'd lived without for seven years. There within her, was the sweet nectar that he always found between her lips, which eased his soul and set his body a flame. He pressed her closer with one hand, deepening the kiss, while his other grabbed a handful of her hair, to tilt her head back so that he could go deeper. He wanted to taste all of her. He wanted to be inside of her. A small part him knew that it was to soon to be completely inside of her, but this, this would have to do for now.

She moaned, and slid her arms around his neck, pressing her body closer to his. Her small, yet full breasts, even clothed, sent a sensation to his groin that almost buckled his knees. She moved her tongue against his as if she were as starved for him as he was for her. His grip on her tightened, as the hand on her butt began to knead and massage- and then as if it had a mind of its own- eased her skirt up, enough so that could touch her stocking clad thighs. His hands traveled slowly upwards until he could feel the edge of her garters, where he traced the lines with the tip of his fingers up to the curve of her ass. He eased a leg between her thighs, causing her skirt to hike up to her waist, so that his thigh could grind against her core.

He made a deep guttural noise, when his hand capture her ass again, and slid its way down her underwear. He wanted to feel her skin against his again.  He knew he had to stop, but he couldn't. His other hand vacated her hair, as his mouth continued to drink from hers, and made its way over her breast, to the top button on her jacket that he popped, too impatient to feel more of her. He'd told himself to stop, he really needed to stop, but she wasn't stopping him. Her fingers gripped his hair, as she continued to grind against him. After the last button was undone, he reached inside and pulled the shirt from the waist band of her skirt, before starting on its buttons.  He didn't know then, and he still couldn't figure out now, but the hand on her ass, moved down between her cheeks, and lightly touched the wetness pooling there, which caused her to jerk back.  She tried to get away, but couldn't, due to his hand.

"Let me...go," she said between ragged breaths.

He wanted to say no, but he'd done as she'd asked, easing his hand slowly from the confines of her panties- which caused her to shutter- releasing his hold on her.

She stumbled back, turning away from him to straighten her clothes. "I...I told you...not to."

"That's what you said, but not what you did."

"I," she began, still struggling for breath. "I..."

"You...what?" he asked sarcastically.

"I'm married," she said when she'd finally turned around.

Married, fuck her marriage, he thought and advanced on her, causing her to back into the desk, which made him disgruntled.  "Are you afraid of me?" he asked, stopping well shy of touching distance.

"No."

"Really?" he said taking a step further and watched in pleasure as she tried to move further back, but couldn't.

"Billy we are not going to do this," she said, crossing her arms in a defensive gesture. "That will not happen again."

"That's what you say, but your body," he said the words closing his eyes, "said something completely different."

"It was just...seeing you again. Billy you were my first, it's natural for my body to have," she struggled for a word and failed to come up with one."

"Urges?" He supplied.

"No...no, not for you, for Nick," she said.

 Billy was on her so fast that she didn't have to get a word out. "So are you telling me as you stood there in my arms that you were thinking about Nick?" He asked feeling anger that he rarely felt. At her silence he kissed her again, but he was not gentle. It was a hard kiss that punished the senses and caused her to moan his name, until he pulled back, and stepped away,  leaving her gasping for air by the desk.

"That's what I thought," he said and turned for the door. "I won't initiate it. You will come to me next time," he said before he exited the office. Neither one had to say what ‘it' was, when they both already knew.

***

He shouldn't have kissed her, and he most definitely shouldn't have lost his temper. But when she'd said that she thought he was Nick, that buffoon she'd married, he'd seen red. It had taken him getting the diary to calm down, and to remember that she still had her defenses up. His little display of anger was not going to help his cause, but he didn't have all day for her to wake up to what was what. He was a man obsessed, and he knew it. He needed to use some of the well honed patience he'd acquired in doing business to deal with her. It just wasn't happening, and with this new discovery, his patience was now wire thin. "Fuck."

"Ooh, Uncle Billy you said a bad word," said a soft voice.

Billy's head snapped up from where he'd been glaring at his phone to see his eldest niece standing in front of him. "And how do you know it's a bad word?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "I'm seven." She answered off handedly, as if that solved everything.

Billy felt his anger slightly ease in the face of his niece, who looked at him as if he were daft. Stephanie, Steph, or Stephie  (she preferred the latter) was a pretty child. She was a little plump, with a pale round face, large aquamarine doe eyes, and auburn hair streaked with gold, that no one could figure out where she'd gotten it from. The family used to joke that she was the insurance man's child, but everyone knew that she'd been a honeymoon baby. "And what does your age have to do with anything?" 

She tapped one pink silk clad slipper- that matched her pink floral Mandarin inspired two piece pajama set- against a beach print throw rug. "I'm not a baby."

"I can see, but that still doesn't explain anything."

She gave a dramatic sigh, "Fine. I overheard daddy say it once, and mommy said that it was a bad word and that he shouldn't say it in the house."

"So you were eavesdropping?"

"No, I was walking by and I overheard their conversation," she said, and then walked forward and perched on the coffee table in front of him. "Daddy was mad about something with work, when he said it. Why are you mad?"

"I'm not mad," he said and then laughed when she arched a brow at him. "Are you sure you're not mine?" He said and at her confused look he said, "I'm not mad. Mad would mean that I was crazy, and I can a sure you that I am very sane."

She looked perplexed for moment but then said, "Well then, why were you angry?" She smiled as if to say ha.

Billy shook his head, how did Mac and Cane handle this one. It was no wonder Cane had redone the entire den just to please her. "I am not angry. Anger is a useless emotion."

"How so?" she asked.

"Well, it doesn't accomplish anything. The only thing being angry does is make you act out and do things that will more than likely come back to bite you in the..."

"Ass," she filled in and then giggled.

"Hey, were did you learn that word?"

"Television."

Mac really needed to monitor what she was watching. "Your mother let you watch television with cursing in it?"

She rolled her eyes again, "Of course not. Summer is our babysitter on the weekends."

Of course, thought Billy, he should mention it to Jack, but he would tell Phyllis, who would probably ground their fourteen year old daughter. 

As if she could read his mind she said, "You're not going to tattle."

"Are you asking me not to tell your mother?"

"No, because I already know you won't.

He knew he shouldn't laugh, but he did, he couldn't help it. She was a precocious little imp. He didn't know where she'd gotten her attitude from. "What makes you so sure?"

"Because, you're cool."

It was his turn to arch a brow, "You think I'm cool?" He asked not believing her for a second. He wasn't so old as to not know that she was trying to butter him up into not giving away her secret.

"Well yes. You and I understand things.

"We do?"

"Yes, we do," she said looking directly at him. "We know how to compromise."

"You're offering me a compromise?" What was Mac going to do with this girl? She wasn't like either of her parents. She reminded Billy of himself, but then again, he remembered that Jill Abbott was her grandmother.

"You don't tattle on Summer, and I won't tell mommy you said a bad word."

Whatever residual feeling of anger Billy felt had vanished completely in the face of his seven year old niece's attempt at extortion. "I think I can handle your mother," he said trying to hide the smile on his lips, but unable to hide the one in his eyes.

She looked over her shoulder, at the sound of footsteps in the hall and leaned forward. "She will lecture you about the dangers of influencing impressionable young minds. I've heard the speech, and I'm just trying to save you." She said and shook her head sadly, in an attempt to look innocent.

Billy mock shuddered, "You are very gracious."

She sat back and sighed, still shaking her head, "I try to be. But sometimes, it's just...so hard."

"Steph, why are you sitting on the coffee table, when there are so many other places for you to sit?" Mac asked entering the room, with a curly brown haired, hazel eyed Haley on her hip.

"Sorry mommy," she got up and moved to sit next to Billy.

Mac eyed them suspiciously, "What were the two of you talking about?"

"Compromises mommy," Stephanie answered.

"Compromises?" asked Cane entering the room, with a blonde haired, brown eyed Ginger in his arms.

"Yes, mommy taught me about compromising, when I wanted to play dance, and Gin wanted to play cheerleading. Remember Mommy?"

"Yes, I remember."

Billy shook his head as Stephie told the tale of how she'd learned to compromise. Billy nodded, pretending this was the first time he'd heard this story, while trying his damnedest not to laugh. He picked up his phone, once the conversation turned to who would read the girls a bed time story, in which three year old Haley volunteered him, and sent a text, while the girls argued over the book.

He needs a reason to come home.

It was about a minute, before he received a reply, that came right on time as Stephanie and Ginger finally decided on the book.

Done

"Uncle Billy, you can't read and text at the same time," said Ginger, who climbed up on the couch to sit next to him.

"Yeah," mimicked Stephanie, who handed him the book, and climbed up on the other side.

"I'm done," he turned the phone off and sat it on the table. Billy couldn't believe that this was how he was spending his night, but he should get used to it. Someday...he thought and looked at the title of the book, Beauty and the Beast. He smiled, Someday, in the very near future. 

Billy settled himself into the most comfortable armchair in his condo. A half eaten sandwich lay on the side table next to him, along with a half finished bottle of coke. The apartment was dark for 10:00am on a Monday morning, but this was due to all the blinds being closed. He should have gone into work today, and perhaps he would later. But for some unknown reason, he’d chosen this moment to open her diary. He lifted the small pink book to his nose, inhaling the scent of warm sweet vanilla. It smelled like her hair. He’d found a pressed vanilla leaf between the cover and the first page, when he’d first opened the book. It was so very Lily.

The book wasn’t large or small. The diary was 4x6, with a hardcover, and less than 2inches thick. It was a pretty ordinary looking book. The only thing that stood out on it was the gold heart shaped lock and the word two that was stitched in white on the spine.

Billy had been surprised that the diary wasn’t bigger. Although it was exactly as he remembered it. She’d written in it during the three years they were together, and unless she didn’t write in it everyday, then he was definitely missing something. He’d been thinking about the two on the spine and wondered if this was the second volume of a set that all looked the same accept for the numbers on the spine. The more he thought about it- after reading the first page- the more convinced he was that that was exactly the case, which meant that his little elf, Kate, would have to provide the rest.

He smiled, as he opened the book and prepared to read.

***

“I’ll be right back,” Nick called from the living room of the villa. He looked down at his phone, and cursed. He’d told Adam, when he called Saturday, that he wasn’t to be disturbed. So why the hell was he calling him now? “What do you want?”

“Well that’s a nice greeting.”

“Fuck off Adam, I told you to only call me if there was something that needed my immediate attention.”

Nick heard Adam sigh on the other end, which caused him to grip the phone tighter. He didn’t particularly like his ‘little’ brother, and he knew the feeling was mutual. Adam seemed to go out of his way to irritate him. It was as if he blamed Nick for their father abandoning his mother. “Adam spit it out and cut the fucking dramatics.”

“Does you’re wife know you have such a filthy mouth?” Adam laughed, “I doubt it. I bet there are a host of things she doesn’t know about you.”

“Adam for the last time neither my wife, nor my marriage, is your concern.”

“True, but I like my dear sister in-law,” Adam said sadly. “But you’re right, your marriage isn’t any of my concern.”  But Billy is another matter. “Symphonic Smells’ CEO wants a face to face.”

“Now?  I’ve been trying to have a face to face with her since we started our bid to buy the company and so far we’ve only dealt with middle men. ”

“Well, Mrs. Collins has changed her mind, but she won’t tell us what she’s changed her mind about, until after she sees the new projections.”

“Nick, are you ready?” His wife called from the other room.

“I need a minute,” shit, he needed more than a minute. “When?” he directed at Adam.

“Tomorrow,” Adam replied without an ounce of emotion, “At nine.”

When did you find out about the meeting,” he calmly asked. 

Adam was a bit surprised at Nick’s calm response. He was so sure that he’d have cursed or showed a little more emotion. “About an hour ago-”

“And you just decided to call me.”

“I debated telling you at all, but then I thought- Nick will want to know.” Adam needed to dig a little…just a little.

“Who the hell gave you the authority to debate telling me something that could be detrimental to my account?”

“You did say not to disturb you. And I was only trying to decide if this was worth it.”

“If it was worth it?” Nick was outraged. Adam acted as if he’d just told him that he’d misfiled a folder, and nothing more. “Mrs. Collins is visiting Newman and you are telling me that you had to debate whether or not to tell me?”

“Look Nick, you told me what you wanted, and I just followed your orders. But look, it doesn’t matter, because I am more than capable of handling the presentation.”

“The hell you are,” Nick said seething. “If you think that I’m going to let you take credit for my work, then you have another thing coming.

“But…”

“But nothing, get everything ready, and I will see you in the office in the tomorrow.”

“Whatever you say…Brother,” he said before hanging up.

Nick tossed the phone onto the bed, and placed his head in his hand. “Shit,” he ground out to the empty room. Lily wasn’t going to be happy with him, and he didn’t want to her to be angry, but she would have to get over it. This deal was too important to Newman, she just-she needed to understand that. She needed to realize what the addition of Symphonic Smells could do for his career. If he sealed this deal, his father would finally come to the realization that he was ready to take over the reigns at Newman.  He just needed to make her see that.  She would have to understand, he would have to make her understand.

“Nick,” She called again.

Nick took a deep breath, “I’m coming.” He left the small living room, and entered their bedroom, where he stopped at the door and watch as Lily fussed with a large floppy straw hat. She moved it this way and that, turning it left and right, trying to see if she could get it right. He smiled. She was stunning, in another long maxi dress, this one was coral with a halter top that left the top half her back completely exposed. He wanted to run his tongue over every exposed inch of her skin, as he had last night. “It looks good either way.”

She looked at him through the mirror. “You think?” she turned around with a huge smile on her face. “I don’t want to look like a complete dork.”

“You could never look like a dork.”

“Now why is it that I don’t believe you?” she laughed. “Here I was asking if you were ready, when I’m the one who’s going to make us miss our plane.  But I just thought I should wear something with straw to the Straw Market.”

“You look great,” he said avoiding her comment.

“I have been hearing amazing things about the Straw Market. Colleen once told me that it’s a great place to bargain, and you know how I love to put my negotiating skills to the test.”

She said something else, but Nick wasn’t listening. He caught a few phrases, which were all about the shopping.  “Lily we need to talk.” He said, and watched as the smile slipped from her face to be replaced by worry. “We need to return to Genoa City.”

“What is it?” she said rushing over. “Is something wrong? Did something happen to…”

“No,” he said, when she was at arms length. He took her hand and led her to the bed where he pulled her down to sit next to him. “No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I,” he began, thinking that this was going to be harder than he’d previously thought. Standing there watching her joy, and then her worry, had caused his heart to squeeze. She was so loving and caring, and here he was about to shit on all that for business. But it was what it was, he needed to do this. She would understand. She would have to understand. “There’s a situation-”

“No,” She said, abruptly standing up, “tell me anything Nick.” She said looking down at him with pleading eyes, “tell me that we’re returning home for any reason, other than business.”

***

April, 5

Ok, I am getting a little nervous. I’m supposed to meet Billy tonight, but there is no way that I can. My mother will kill me if she discovers the truth. But what should I do? I want to go out with Billy. Every girl wants go out with Billy, but I can’t lie to my parents. Billy is probably going to be mad at me. :(

~~~

Billy glanced up at the clock, only ten minutes had passed since he’d begun to read. She was funny- this wasn’t a surprise to him- he’d always known this- but, she had the cutest way of describing things. He was sure she’d turn beet red if she ever discovered he’d read her diary. His eyes ran over the words, which could only have been written by a feminine hand. He traced a finger over the letters that told of how much she’d regretted skipping their date, and yet knowing that it would’ve been impossible for her to leave the house. In that moment, Billy hated himself. He’d done a lot of things in his life, but he hated that she was so conflicted. Sad that, him feeling this way, when he was putting her in the exact same position as he had ten years ago.

~~~

April, 8 

OMG! Billy still wants to go out with me. He cornered me the hall and asked why I stood him up, and I told him, and he still wants to go out with me. I can’t believe it!!! He said that we would go out, but he didn’t tell me where. I don’t understand, but it doesn’t matter, because He wants to go out with me! And not only that, he gave me a nick name. I’d been wondering why he called me TL, and it turns out that TL is for Tiger Lily. I’m his Tiger Lily. I can’t…I can’t believe it. Billy likes me, I think he really likes me. Ok, that’s my mom, I have to eat dinner.

Billy smiled at the enthusiasm he heard in her voice. He could picture her smiling down at the pages as her hand moved over the words, writing out all of her emotions. Her entries were so different. Sometimes, she would describe the exact event, while others where just an expression of how she felt, and nothing more than a line or two describing the events. It was peculiar, but interesting.

April, 12

I’m at Colleen’s, and I just can’t believe what happened. It’s was like something out of a movie.

Yesterday, Colleen said that we should have an impromptu sleepover, and I agreed, because what else am I doing over the weekend. She and Kate have boyfriends, so it made sense that they would spend the day with them. I asked my mom if I could go, and she was all ‘of course,’ but I need to be home by Sunday for church. There wasn’t anything shocking about this, since my mom is pretty cool, when it comes to letting me sleep over at Colleen’s or Kate’s. Everything up to that point seemed fine, until I came over and discovered that Colleen’s father, Brad Carlton, was out of town! OMG! I was about to freak. If my mother discovered that I spent the night with Colleen un-chaperoned, I would never…and I mean EVER, be able to stay over again.

I told them as much, but Kate was all chill, it’s only for one night, and that Mrs. Carlton would return in the morning, and they would be fine. This, as you know is so very Kate Valentine.

I told her that it didn’t matter. Did she not know who my mother was? Did she not realize that one night un-chaperoned could have me grounded until I graduated…COLLEGE!!! Diary, this was serious, and Colleen was all, you should stay, and your mom’s not going to find out, and I was like HA! You guys do not have Drucilla Winters for a mother, I do, and I will just be going.

I was so close, so very close to leaving, but then, I heard…Billy.  And I couldn’t believe it. He didn’t say anything witty, or charming, he said five words- just five words that made my heart skip a beat and changed everything….EVERYTHING!

~~~

    “You owe me a date,” Billy said aloud, closing his eyes, thinking back to that day, when he’d been listening to her freak out about staying without a chaperone. His Lily was such a good girl, and god he loved her for it.

~~~

 I turned, and there he was, standing in the entrance of the living room, in khaki pants, and a blue button down, that made his eyes pop. He was staring at me with such intensity, that my stomach felt queasy, and I was sure that a thousand butterflies were now fluttering around in there.  I couldn’t speak, oh no, I think I might have even stuttered a bit, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was just so, intense. He looked at me, not through, me but at me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Everyone was quiet, Colleen, and even Kate, the last was close to a miracle. Finally, and almost as if he planned it…which is ridiculous! He said- that this was the time of our date! And I just… really…I mean seriously…could NOT believe it. So one minute I was standing in the Carlton living room, with my mouth open, and then next Kate was pushing me through Colleen’s bedroom, door, while Colleen kept asking about US. US=me and Billy. Me and Billy! Okay, but I’m getting ahead of my self.

***

“Lily,” Nick said, and reached for her arm, but came up with air.

 Lily moved towards the sliding glass door. The sound of the ocean was the only thing to permeate the stiff silence in the room. She watched as the oceans hit the shore, while couples strolled hand in hand down the beach. She looked up at the clear blue sky, and saw a pelican swooping down. She followed his decent towards the ocean, where it skimmed the surface, and just as quickly darted back up to the sky. Its mouth filled with water, and probably a fish or two. She sighed. It was free, so very free, and she wished that she could do that. Swoop down, and take what she wanted, and fly away without consequences, but there were always consequences. No one was immune from them, not her or her husband.

“Lily, say something.” Nick implored, slowly walking up behind her. He watched as her shoulder tensed at his voice, and silently swore.

***

What?  I asked, when Colleen demanded that I say something, I told her that there wasn’t anything to tell. And of course, she didn’t believe me, so I had to tell them everything…well almost. I didn’t tell them about how Billy had held me in his arms, not once, but TWICE!  Well three times, if you counted the first time, after he let me go, and then when I tried to get the bracelet and…never mind, because later…okay getting ahead on myself again. So after all that, Colleen and Kate, were all OMG, and I was all, I know OMG and we sort of screamed, because this was the first time I’d been asked out. Colleen said that she shouldn’t have this reaction, because it was her uncle, but that she was happy that someone had finally noticed me. I wasn’t particularly happy about that last part, it was just…so Kate, who even glowered at Colleen after she’d said it. They’d had a tiff, but then I’d broken it up and told them that I understood what Colleen was trying to say. Which of course was a lie, I mean, Colleen is my best-friend how could she say something like that??? It was as if she believed that I wasn’t cute enough for a guy to ask out. Oh btw, I should have mentioned that she’d seemed really surprised that her uncle had asked me out. I didn’t tell her, but it sort of hurt my feelings. I know it’s stupid, but it did.

~~~

Billy frowned, his hand tightened on the diary as he reread the crossed out passage. Colleen better be damn happy, that he hadn’t known that she’d hurt Lily’s feelings. But to be fair, CC hadn’t known either, and he knew enough to know that she’d been speaking without thinking. CC would never intentionally hurt Lily. And he could somewhat understand her surprise. It hadn’t been as if he and Lily actually ‘known’ each other. He’d been a senior about to graduate, while Lily had only been a freshman. CC hadn’t been the only person shocked by their relationship, but she’d never given them anything but support, so it was odd reading about her reaction to them.

~~~

Anyhow, Colleen and Kate helped me pick out an outfit. I didn’t wear anything special, just a pair of jeans and a long sleeve white cotton pullover- under a Polo shirt. I’d wanted to wear something cute, but the weather still isn’t great for April, but it’s getting warmer everyday. Kate said I looked casual and cute, and since Billy wasn’t dressed up, then why should I? Billy didn’t seem to mind. He actually said that I looked cute. He said it several times tonight! He told me at the door and then later, when he took me to the field.

~~~

She looked adorable. Billy could still see her clearly standing at the foot of the stairs, in fitted blue jeans, a purple Polo shirt, and black ballet flats. Her wild curls pulled back into a ponytail, while a thin purple headband kept any fly-a- ways down.  She’d looked as if she’d just escaped from the set of a Tommy Girl photo shoot. Once again he’d found himself entranced, by the little elfin creature, but when she smiled, that tentative smile, he’d been hypnotized and would have followed her to the end of the world. “What was it about you Lily Winters that made me feel as if I’d finally found a true home?” He shook the thought from his head, and glanced at the clock.

***

 “What do you want me to say,” Lily said turning to face him before he could touch her.

“I don’t know?”

She stared at him. He looked upset, and she supposed he was. But under that, she could see that he was anxious and just a tad…impatient. He wanted to get back to Genoa City in a hurry, but he couldn’t because he had to deal with her. She could make it easy for him, and she would. She was just so tired, so very tired of fighting a loosing battle. “What time does the plan leave?

Nick was surprised that she asked. He was expecting a fight. He was expecting her to tell him that he’d lied to her, and that the company was more important to him than her. In the few minutes he’d had to prepare, several different scenarios went through his head. But this wasn’t one of them. “Lily,” He took a step forward, but she walked around him and went to the closet.

She opened the door, and pulled out her suitcases. “What time does the flight leave?” She threw over her shoulder as she began pulling clothes off hangers. She felt empty, so very empty. It was as if he’d torn out her soul, and left it to dry out in the wind without anything to anchor it down. Marriage needed and anchor and she didn’t have one. They didn’t have one, and she honestly didn’t know what to do about it.

Nick sighed, “One, the plane is supposed to leave at one.”

She paused for a second, and looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table, “Well, we don’t have much time, do we?” She returned to her task and worked like a mindless drone, grab, fold, insert, grab, fold, insert, grab, fold, insert. She shut down her mind, her emotions and her heart. It was a trick she’d learned first after Billy had abandoned her, and then after her mother died. In both cases people constantly asked her how she was feeling, and if she needed anything. She’d learned a long time ago that she could get through anything, without anyone’s help. Without realizing it, she’d put up walls, some of the same walls she’d helped Billy to remove from his life. Hell of job she did with that one.

Nick watched her- he didn’t know what to say. He had never seen her life this before. It was as if she’d checked out on him, as if…no, he wasn’t going to even think about that. “I’m sorry.” He said for something to say.

“Of course you are,” she zipped up the first suitcase, and moved to the next one, “Of course you are.” She said, putting her shoes in. She hadn’t packed many pairs, so this took less time than the clothes. She moved from the closest and went into the bathroom, and began to pack her cosmetics and toiletries.

He’d been standing in the same spot just watching her. He knew she was angry. He just wished that she would show some type of emotion, “Fuck.”  He walked to the closest and began packing his own bag.

***

Billy drives really, REALLY fast! And why shouldn’t he, when has a really fast car. He drives jet- black…hmm…Ferrari…no…It’s… an umm…Mustang…whatever, it’s a really fast car. 

~~~

“A Mustang?” Billy said feeling incredulous. He was in love with a girl, who hadn’t been able to tell the difference between, a Mustang and Porsche Turbo? He would have laughed if it weren’t so insane. How can you compare the two? Let it go Abbott. He really wanted to ask her about this, but he couldn’t because she’d know he knew. Maybe he’d just ask her if she could remember what kind of car he drove. He chuckled. His Lily was such a girl. He remembered how she’d clutched the seat belt as he speed down the empty road heading to the field. She’d looked a bit green by the time they’d arrived and he’d promised himself that he would drive slower on the way back.

~~~

I thought I was going to be sick, by the time we made it to the clearing. And I still don’t know how I ate half of my cheeseburger, when the world was spinning, and my already queasy stomach, was near about to boil over. I felt as if I would vomit at any moment, but somehow- God I am very thankful to you-I didn’t. Billy pulled out a blanket and we had picnic underneath the stars. Billy is unlike any guy I’ve ever met. Not like I know a lot of guys, but Billy is different. He’s not who I thought he would be.

~~~

“And how did you think I would be,” Billy said, some what tentative about discovering the answer. It was really silly. They dated, and then fell in love. And yet, he felt nervous about her first, well third impression of him. But this one- before the others- was the one that really counted. He remembered thinking that she was the best thing since Nextel. Yeah, it was corny, but hey, he loved his phone. That beep, beep sound it made, alerting everyone nearby, so that they could listen in on your conversation, and yet you thought it was cool, when in fact it was very rude. But it was the thing, and he’d always had to have whatever the new it toy was.  He always wanted what was new, the MP3 player, the iPod, the touch, the pad, and he’d owned every must have phone, from the Razor to the Blackberry, to the iPhone.  He loved to upgrade, but when it came to women, unlike many men, he knew that no matter how many years would come and go, that Lily would only get better with age. She was like an aged bottle of Brandy, something to be kept, and savored slowly over time.

~~~

He’s not who I thought he would be. I suppose I thought that he would be… I don’t know, maybe arrogant? That’s the only thing I’d ever really heard about him. Oh yeah, and that he was a trouble maker, who had been kicked out of boarding school, which was why he was now attending Walnut Grove. I wanted to ask, but I was too afraid and I want him to like me. Even with everything that I’d heard, I really wanted Billy to like me. But I didn’t to have worry. Billy was kind and very sweet and….just AMAZING!!! He knew that I hadn’t been feeling well after the car ride, so he told-not asked- me to lie down. Yeah, he’s a little bossy, but he was right. He told me to look at the stars, while he pointed out different constellations. He just talked to me, while I lay on my back relaxed in the empty space. I feel sort of guilty, because I know his food got cold, but he didn’t seem to care. Once I was finally feeling better, and we ate the burgers he’d picked up for us at a burger stand on the outskirts of town.  We talked about school and our teachers and dance, which he seemed really interested in. He wanted to know how Mrs. Parker was treating me, but I said no different that she treated anyone else. He seemed to accept the answer, as if… I don’t know. It was a little weird, but I guess he just wanted to make sure that she wasn’t giving me a hard time. But why would he, unless he likes me, likes me, likes me. I mean I like him, like him, like him, so maybe he likes me, likes, likes me, like I like… OMG!  I think Billy Abbott really likes me! He didn’t kiss me, or even make a move on me, but he was just….AMAZING!!! And he’s so cute, and nice, and sweet, and so… different. I can’t believe people can be so mean and say the things about him that they say! Billy is a good person, and I like him…I like him a lot…I like him A WHOLE LOT!!!   

~~~

 Billy placed the book on the table, a smile pasted on his face, yes, he’d like her too. He’d liked her a lot.

***

“Mr. Newman, we’ll be landing in Genoa City in approximately ten minutes.” The flight attendant, Suzanne said.

 “Thank you” He replied with a nod.

Nick glanced across the isle to his wife, who was stretched out across two seats, with her back to him. She hadn’t said much, but her silence spoke volumes. God, why was she being like this? And why wouldn’t she let him explain? He wanted to tell her that they would return, that they would come back, but he knew that she wouldn’t listen.  He had already attempted to engage her in conversation on several different occasions, but he might as well have been talking to a conch shell for the response she gave. He didn’t know what to do. A part of him wanted to shake her, while the other part thought that maybe this was her way of coping with the situation. Maybe she was trying to get over it, and didn’t want to cause a fuss? He was probably reaching with those last two, but then again, maybe not. Lily wasn’t a drama queen. She was level headed, intelligent and although sometimes she could be extremely emotional, she wasn’t argumentative. He closed his eyes, and breathed deeply. She would get over this…she had to.

Lily stared down at her nails, she needed a manicure. She loved getting manicures. She loved the way her nails felt, after they were cleaned and polished. She liked the way they looked against her gray steering wheel, especially if she’d gotten color. She rarely used color on her nails, because it never lasted. Oh it was nice the first few days, but after that, the polish would begin to chip. It was sort of like her marriage. It had been nice the first year, maybe even the second year. As far as she could remember it might have only been the first two years, and not even the entire two years. They both worked, and with her getting the magazine where it needed to be, she’d spent a lot of time at the office, but so had he. The difference was that she’d always made time for him. Her marriage was the most important thing in her life. Her family was everything to her, and Nick was a big part of her family. And yet, she wasn’t a big part of his. Newman Enterprises was his family’s business, and it came first, it had always come first. It had just taken her longer to see that. But she’d love him. She loved her husband. Not the way she loved before, but, she loved him…she loved him a lot. But did she love him enough?  

"Houston, we have a problem."

"What now," Kate asked, smiling apologetically at Kevin, who was sitting across the table from her at the Genoa City Athletic Club. "Does this have anything to do with the Kiss and Tell section, because I am not moving it, and why should? When it goes nicely before the Tiger Lily ad?"

"No, but speaking of tiger lilies-"

"What did he do?"

"Which he," asked Colleen?

"Your ass of an uncle, that's who."

"Billy didn't do anything...this time."

"Ooh, so it's was the white knight in toolish armor?" Kate said, and ignored Kevin, who raised an eyebrow.

"Kate," Colleen groaned. "Must you?"

She gave Kevin her profile, before answering. "If he's done something to upset Lily, then yes, I must."

Colleen wouldn't admit it, because Lily might be able to hear her, but at the moment, she felt exactly the same as Kate. "You, have a point."

"This must be bad. And how can it be bad," She turned to glare at Kevin, "When they are suppose to be in paradise?" She moved the phone from her mouth and hissed, "Why didn't you tell me they were back?"

"One, it wasn't my place, and two, you didn't ask." He hissed in reply.

"What do you mean it wasn't your place?"

"What happens in Nick and Lily's marriage is between the two of them. And for the record Kate, I am not a got damn messenger boy."

"Telling me Lily returned to town has nothing to do with their marriage. I don't care about Nick, but I do care that my best-friend is back in town..."

"Earlier than you expected," Kevin finished.

"Hello," an aggravated Colleen called out, "would you two please argue, when I am not on the phone?"

"Sorry, so I take it she's with you?"

"Yep, and she's not alone."

"Really, who else is with her?"

"Not who, what," Colleen replied.

Kate turned as far as she could in the chair, covering the phone with her hand she said in low voice, "is it the can?"

"Yep."

"How many?"

"One,"

She sighed in relief, well that was good, but still. "Are you still at the office?" Kate asked, trying to wave the waiter down for the check. "I can't believe she went in like that. Does she at least look presentable?"

"Yes, she's wearing jeans and a t-shirt. And before you pitch a fit, she didn't come in to work. She looks very celebrity casual."

"Ok, well that's good. I think we need to close shop for today." It was unheard of, closing the office early on a Tuesday, when it wasn't a holiday, but they needed some alone time to sort out the mess that was obviously becoming their friends life. They could go to one of their places, or she could even have Colleen bring Lily to the GCAC. She relayed the last to Colleen.

"I don't think she'll want to go to the GCAC.  I could take her to my place, but I doubt she'll want to go there either."

"Ok, ok, I'll return to the office soon," she hung up, and looked at Kevin. "Don't be mad."

He sighed, "I'm not, besides we were finished with lunch, and I also need to get back to the office."

"I know, but I feel sort of guilty. I don't want you to think that I'm putting Lily before you."

Kevin leaned across the table and kissed her. "I love this side of you."

"What side?" She asked loving the way his breath fanned her face as he spoke.

"Your unsure side- you're always so sure of everything, so it's nice to know that I can bring that out of you."

"So do I," She said softly, and then kissed him again. "But don't tell anyone or else..."

Kevin laughed and rose, when she did, "Your secret's safe with me."

Laughing, she walked around the table, and kissed him again, before she departed.

Kevin watched her walk away with a surety that most people would never have. Kate knew who she was, where she was going, and how to get there. He knew that it had taken her a long time to get to this place. The fact that a confirmed Bachelorette was willing to be his wife, and perhaps someday the mother of his children, showed just how far she'd come. But beyond all that, her love for her mother and her two best friends, showed who she really was. Kate seemed tough, and she was, but she was so much more. It was hard to name it, she was simply Kate.

***

Twenty minutes later Kate entered the office, with a brown paper bag in one hand. The other held a dark red alligator clutch that matched her pumps, which complimented the charcoal high-waist skirt, matching bolero Jacket and the cream blouse she wore underneath it. After walking past the receptionist, who she told to follow her, she made her way in the central area, where most of the employees were gathered. Good, Colleen had sent out an email. She didn't waste a second, but got right to the point.

She paused, in the middle of the office. "You are all excused for the day," she said and then continued on her way, but stopped at the sound of murmurs. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. It's," she shook her sleeve once to glance at her Burberry watch, "It's a half past one, I expect for you all to be gone by twenty till." She continued on her way without so much, as a backwards glance.

The entire office was in a complete state of shock. No one moved or even dared to breathe. Of the three women who ran the magazine, Kate Valentine was the one most feared. Lily was kind. She only wanted you to do the best job that you could. Colleen expected you to give you best plus a little, but other than that, she and Lily were basically the same. If you made a mistake, you learned from it, and didn't make it again, because mistakes happened, and you were human. But Kate...Kate wanted perfection and she wouldn't settle for anything less. I you made a mistake, you may as well pack up your desk, because by the time she was finished with you, you would want to find another job. Kate liked things done, and she wanted them done her way. Restless Style was great company to work for, the pay was good and the benefits were great. But there where times when the pressure got the best of the most dedicated employee, and would have them contemplating a new career, especially after having a one on one with an ‘un-satisfied' Kate Valentine.

Roxanne glanced around at the startled faces. The new issue was in the last stage, before it was sent off for the final print. Most departments were usually burning the midnight oil, especially since this issue was behind schedule. Roxanne saw when Lily entered the office over thirty minutes ago.  Lily was her boss, but more important, she was her friend, and her friend didn't seem like her normal self. They weren't best friends, or even close friends.  Roxanne glanced down at her stainless steel Bulova watch, and spoke into the confused murmurs that had returned the moment Kate was out of sight. "You just wasted five minutes. I wouldn't waste a second more." Turning on her brown leather Mui, Mui wedges, Roxanne left for her office, in the same direction Kate had gone. 

 ***

She could hear them. They probably thought you couldn't, but she could. Their voices carried from where they stood by the office door, over to the couch that she currently occupied.

"Why the hell are they back?" She could clearly hear the irritation in Kate's voice.

"Business," this was from Colleen, who sounded slightly exasperated.

"Of course, I should have known."

Someone sighed, was it Colleen or Kate?" It sounded more like...Colleen. Did she know how Colleen sounded when she sighed? And why the hell was she dissecting this? Lily! Get a grip.

"I don't know what Nick is thinking. I know this deal is important, but so is his marriage," Colleen said.

HA! I was right, it was Colleen.

 "This is not the time for him to be slacking off in his marriage."

"I didn't know there was a time, when one was free to slack off in their marriage. Please don't ever mention this to Kevin."

"Kate be serious, you know exactly what I mean. Nick needs to be on his ‘A' game, because..."

Lily could no longer clearly hear what they were saying. She must of have moved on the couch, alerting them to fact that she might be eavesdropping. It didn't take a genius to finish Colleen's sentence, or to come up with something very close to her next words. But it did take a genius to decide not to finish that sentence, especially when the next few words out of her mouth, more than likely dealt with Colleen's Uncle.

Lily didn't want to think about him. She'd spent two days making love to her husband as frequently as possible in order to dispel the images of the kiss they had shared in her office. But it didn't matter. No matter how good it was, or how much she called out her husband's name. She knew within the marrow of her bones that Billy's promise- the kiss had very much been a promise- would have been better than anything she'd experienced in the last five years. It wasn't the sex that would make it better. It would be the awakening of her soul. She loved her husband, and she'd married him prepared to spend the rest of her life with him. But even as she stood in the church, and said her vows, Lily knew that her soul would never truly be engaged in their relationship.

This is wrong. I shouldn't be thinking about this. I should be... Her thoughts trailed off as she shook the can in her hand. She sat up a little on the couch, tilted her head back, and squeezed a large dollop of Ready Whip in to her mouth.

"No," Kate said, and walked over to the couch, where she placed the brown paper bag on the black oblong shaped coffee table and then held out her hand.

"What," Lily asked from her lounging position on the couch.

"Give me-the can."

Lily held the can to her chest, "no, it's mine."

Kate placed her hands on her hips, and glared down at her stubborn friend, who was now sitting up on the couch pouting at her like a six year old. Lily only went for the Ready Whip, when she was upset about something, and trying to get over it. Some people did drugs, while some drunk liquor, but not Lily. She had to eat whipped cream out a can. "Lily, whipped cream will not make your problems go away.

"I know that Kate. It just tastes really good," she said and to demonstrate, she ate a little more. "Hmm, hmm good-"

 Kate cringed at the sound.  She needed to breakout her secret weapon. "Fine, but you're whipped cream won't go with what I have."

Lily's ears perked up. "What do you have?"

"Yes, Kate, what do you have," Colleen asked, as she sat next to Lily on the couch.

"I'll show you...if you give me the can."

"I'll give you the can...if I think what you have is good."

"Deal," said Kate, who retrieved a bottle of Cristal, a tray of crackers, brie cheese, two large bento boxes, and a French silk cheesecake. "Pick your poison," Kate said, and plucked the loose can from Lily's fingers.

"One bottle," Colleen asked knowing it was going to be a long day.

Kate smiled, reached in the bag and pulled out a second bottle of Cris, "Of course not, this is one of the few alcoholic beverages that Lily will drink."

"Gee thanks," Lily said, plucking a cracker off the tray, and spreading some brie on top. "Where are the glasses?

Yep, thought Colleen, it was going to be a long one.

***

Two hours later, Colleen, Kate, and Lily were stretched out on the plush furniture in their private lounge, watching, You've Got Mail, on mounted 27in HD-TV. The small lounge was dark plush deep burgundy furniture with black accents from the tables, the dinning set, the cabinets, and the sink in the small kitchen to all of the appliances. Other than the everyday office use, lunch and coffee breaks, the lounge was mostly used for late night brainstorming sessions, and moments like these. The large sofa, love seat, and over stuffed chairs were comfortable enough to sleep in.

"I remember the first time he told me he loved me," Lily said. They hadn't talked, just moved from Colleen's office into the lounge, where Lily sat on the couch, ate, and listened to them talk about the next issue, until Colleen turned on the television.

Colleen reached for the remote to pause the movie.  She didn't speak, and shockingly neither did Kate. She looked over at Kate, who sitting on the love seat across from Colleen, who was perched in the plush arm chair. Kate shrugged, and lay back on the sofa. Colleen followed suit. What could they say?  It wasn't as if they didn't know who she was talking about. The wistful tone of her voice gave it away. Billy was a dangerous subject...but at least she was talking.  

 "He wasn't nervous. I was surprised by that, but he was just so...very sure of himself. Which you know is just so...very Billy.

***

Billy reclined in his office chair and stared at the pink book in his hand. Damn Kate was good. He'd phoned her last night, and she'd had it delivered this morning, with a note to return the other one first. If this were the fifties Billy would have said that she had moxie, but it wasn't, so instead he said, she had balls- brace balls. She wasn't in a position to demand anything from him, but he knew she wanted to cover her own ass. He could have refused, and there wasn't anything she could have done about it. Lily's diary had been as addicting as an old Steven King novel. The diary had been building, and with each page he grew more excited, because he knew what would come next.

Lily wrote about everything. Their relationship, her growing feelings for him, and her parents demand that she not see him. He hadn't like reading that. Lily had cared for him, but it had cost her a lot during their first year. And yet, when it would have been easier to stop, she hadn't. And there wasn't a single line or word that indicated that's she'd wanted to. She was so much stronger than she gave her self credit for. His Lily, was a fighter, and every bit as much her mother's daughter, as she was her father's. She was a combination of them, and her love...the way she loved was all her, it was all just... so Lily.

Billy ran his hand across the word THREE stitched on the spine. It hadn't been hard for her to fill the first book, but he'd been surprised that his younger self had yet to tell her that he loved her. When in fact he loved her from the moment she crashed into chest. He always remembered it being sooner. But they'd been dating for nearly four months by the end of the first book, and a few weeks over that in the second book.

"Five months, had I really waited that long?" He looked around the shadowed office, the blinds at his back were his only source of light, and it had been that way all day. He didn't know why he'd come into work, when he hadn't done much of anything. And why should he, when his plans were coming along so smoothly?

He smiled, today had been a plus...for him. He picked up the diary, a small smile still on his face, and traced her letters, something he did every time he retrieved it, before reading it.

***

"What the fuck do you mean she's not coming?" Nick asked nostril flaring, as he stared across his desk at Adam, who was lounging in a chair as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"Her assistant, Maxie Jones- I think that's her name- called and said that she couldn't make."

"First, the assistant said that Mrs. Collins had to cancel the morning meeting, but she would be here by four. And now you are telling me that she's not going to come at all." Nick's voice rose with each word. "Did she even give you a fucking reason why?"

"She said that her boss forgot that she had a previous engagement, and that she would reschedule the meeting at a later date."

"Bullshit," he spat through gritted teeth. He was beyond angry. He'd disappointed his wife for the umpteenth time in order to rush back for a meeting that wasn't going to take place. Lily had been so distant last night...until he decided to call her own her night out with Billy.

***

Is this about us or Billy?" He asked, as she prepared to leave their bedroom to sleep in a guest room.

Lily turned to face him. He could see the shock on her face, and knew that he should back down, but he didn't. He had only just discovered that Billy had taken his place Thursday night, when he'd had to work late.

"This isn't about Billy" She said tiredly, folding her arms around her pillow.

She looked so vulnerable and innocent, in a lilac tank top with matching boy shorts, and not like the sex kitten, who loved to wear lace- barely there- lingerie. She was utterly enticing either way, she-devil or angel, his wife was a goddess.

"So you haven't forgotten how to speak." She didn't reply, "of course. I suppose I should say Billy, since his name is the only thing you will respond to.

She shook her head and turned to leave.

"Did you enjoy dinner," he asked, exiting their walking closet. "I heard you two got real cozy." Nick watched at her face turned three shades of red, before she narrowed her eyes on him.

"You want a fight, and I'm not going to give you the satisfaction. The problems in our marriage have nothing to do with Billy."

Nick approached her, "Are you so sure about that? I mean maybe my recent disappointments will give you what you want." He needed to stop, but it was as if he were possessed. "Nothing, so we're back to the silent treatment?

"What Nick, what do you want me to say?" She threw up her hands, causing the pillow to fall to the floor. "What would make you feel better?

 "Let's try the truth."

"That's rich...coming from you."

He disregarded her statement. "Why did you faint, when you first saw him?"

She blinked, "I hadn't seen Billy in seven years, so excuse me if I was a little shocked to see him suddenly appear as conjured by magic."

"Alright, I'll accept that.

"I didn't know my answers needed your approval".

 "Why did you have dinner with him?"

"He was there."

Nick stalked forward invading her personal space, which caused her to have to look up to see his face. "So that makes it ok. What am I...his fucking replacement?"

"No", she screamed.

"Then why did you have dinner with him?"

Nick watched as her chest rose and fell, while she tried to get a handle on her anger. He hopped she did, perhaps one of them wouldn't say something that they'd soon regret. He was sure that the person would be him.

"I was sitting alone waiting for you, and Billy sat down, I asked him to leave, and he wouldn't."

"So you what just gave in, and decided to let him feed you."

"I...I didn't...yes, I let him feed. Are you happy? I was hungry, but I didn't want to have dinner with him. He ordered an anti pasta platter, but I refused, and he just started feeding me and I ate the food. There was nothing romantic about, it was just me being stubborn and him not letting me starve, since I'd only eaten a small salad at lunch. Because I though that I would be having a big dinner with my husband."

Nick's jaw tensed. He and Billy were going to have words, and very soon.  "Wow," he said through gritted teeth, "Billy is just...so caring. I guess you danced with him as some sort of reward? I mean, he was basically you're hero."

  "Nick."

"Billy is really the same opportunist he was years ago." He watched her eyes drift away from him.

"You don't know anything about who he was years ago," she said in a voice barely above a whisper, and then shook her head.

She must have thought she'd said it in her head, Nick mused. "I know enough. I know that he took advantage of sweet young girl, and then walked away when something better came along."

Lily flinched as if he'd slapped her.

Nick was angry. He was angry at Billy and he was angry, because he did put his job before his wife, but she didn't realize that he was doing this for them, that it was only temporary. But most all in this moment he was angry, because she was standing in their home, in the room they made love, defending her ex-lover. "I know that he didn't come back, after he promised the young girl that he would."

"Are you done," she asked, looking him in the eyes. "Or do you want to continue, either way, I don't care what you do.

"Lily," he reached for her, but she spun on her heels and left the room and her pillow on the floor."

 ***

"Possibly," Adam shrugged.

I should have followed her, he thought. He eyed his brother. "You told me that she would be here."

Adam nodded once, "I did, but I only told you what her assistant told me."

"Adam, I rushed back for this meeting. I could be on an exotic island right now, making love to my wife, but instead I'm here, because of you." I stomped a bigger whole in my marriage last night, because of you.  Nick wanted to scream.

Adam stood, "look I didn't tell you to return to Genoa City. You decided that on your own, so don't try to blame this shit on me. I only told you, what I was told. I also told you that I could handle it. You are the one, who decided that Symphonic Smells was more important than spending time your wife." Adam finished and headed for the door.

"You don't know shit about my marriage, Lily means everything to me," Nick replied, standing with his hand pressed against the desk.

Adam turned at the door, "I do know that you're here, and that speaks volumes." He replied, and left without a backwards glance. My work was done here. Thought Adam, who began whistling as made his way to elevator.

***

August, 10

It happened! I...I can't believe it finally happened!! I'd been waiting in him to say the words...to tell me that...I don't know. I guess apart of me just wondered if this was real. If he actually felt the way I feel. If maybe, just maybe I wasn't a summer distraction for him. He's starting a GCU in a couple of weeks. Genoa City University is one of the best private Universities in the country. It's almost on the level of an Ivy League school. Billy would be there, why would he even want to date a high school girl, especially one who'd only just turned fifteen?

***

"Billy was so different. I never really understood why he was interested in me. It wasn't as if he couldn't have had, just about any girl he wanted." She smiled, when she heard a snort, which she was sure had come from Kate. "He could have, but he wanted me, his adolescent girlfriend."

"You were only three years younger than him," Colleen said.

"Three years and four months," Lily supplied. "It doesn't seem like a lot, but Billy was actually a lot older than me. And yet, he loved me, fifteen year old, skinny, odd looking, virginal me." She closed her eyes and whispered, "Why did you love me?"

***

"You were special. You are still special," Billy spoke to the fifteen year old girl in the book. Lily had been soothing balm to his troubled soul. She may have been younger in age, but her soul was older, much older than his. She was mature in ways that most people never saw. They saw this skinny cute elfin girl, who always smiled, and had the most adorable, and infectious personality. Guys liked her, and girls...well some liked her and the others were just jealous bitches, who wanted them to breakup. They thought they were better, but they didn't get it. Most people didn't understand what he saw in her, but it didn't matter to him. He hadn't cared. To him, Lily was...his comfort. She was his center, his balance, his life.

~~~

 I suppose it doesn't really matter, because well...HE LOVES ME!!!! OMG! Billy Abbot Loves ME! He loves Lily Winters! Billy Abbott <3 Lily Winters. I can't believe it. I just...I can't believe!!! But he told me, and I... I trust him. I trust Billy with my heart, because I told him, I loved him too. And I do, I love him so much, that sometimes it scares me. But tonight I wasn't scared. I felt...Loved. It happened at our place, that's where he confessed his feelings. He took me to the field and- Crap that's my mom. :^(

***

"Why am I thinking about this," Lily whined sitting up on the couch. "I should be thinking about my husband, the man who I promised to love, honor, and cherish through good times and bad." Frustrated, that was how she felt when she thought about her marriage.  She was so frustrated. Frustrated with Nick and all of his empty promises, and she was tired of playing second fiddle. She didn't even want to remember last night's argument. She had never witnessed that side of Nick, and she didn't like it. She didn't like it at all.

 It was easier-talking about Billy-as long as it was in the past tense- was easier. Billy in the present was...a subject best left undisturbed. It was like a phantom that popped into her head, when she least expected it, at the most inopportune times. "I just don't know how we got here?" She reached for the bottle of Cristal, pouring half a glass she sipped the smooth crisp champagne, letting the alcohol go to her head. She wanted to be slightly inebriated, only slightly, because thinking clearly was not working.

"You love Nick," volunteered Colleen.

"I know, but"

"You love Billy."

"What, no Kate, I...I don't love Billy. I was just thinking about the past." At Kate's skeptical look she added, "Really, I don't love Billy." Liar, "Not the way I use to," she added, only to appease her conscience.

"You may not love him the way you use to, but it's obvious that you still love him."

"Really Kate," Colleen said glaring at her across the coffee table.

"What Colleen, it's true, you know it, I know it, Billy knows, and Nick would know it if he weren't so caught up with work. Or maybe he's just too blind to see it."

"Lily loves Nick."

"Guys I'm right here. I don't need you to talk about me as if I'm not here."

"Are you really here?" Kate asked sarcastically.

"What's that suppose to me?"

"Lily I love you, you know I do, but you haven't been your self for a while."

"Billy's reappearance has thrown me off my game."

"Lily this didn't just start with Billy."

"Kate, don't" Colleen pleaded.    

 Lily watched the silent communication pass between her best-friends, which tweaked her anger. "Have you two been talking about me behind my back?"

"No, Lily it's not like that." Colleen sighed. "We've just been worried about you."

"Why, if this isn't about Billy, then why have you been worried, and why haven't you said anything before?"

"We did say something...or at least we tried. It's not easy to tell your friend that she's loosing herself.

"Colleen I'm not-"

"Yes you are," Kate said, moving from the love seat to sit next to Lily, Colleen joined her on the other side effectively trapping Lily in the middle. "For the past-I don't know- six or seven months you've been... unhappy."

Lily tried to get up, but Colleen held her still. "I...I haven't.

"You act as if your marriage to Nick is perfect, and I'm sure that it has its moments, but for the most part it's as if you've become some stepford wife."

"My marriage has its problems, but I love Nick."

"But he doesn't make you happy," Kate continued. "Not truly happy, not as happy as you once were."

With Billy, her mind added. "I was a kid then, a stupid kid, who believed in true loves, and soul mates and things that don't really exist." She closed her eyes, and in her mind she was a young couple, a boy with dirty blonde hair was staring down at a younger version of herself. His hand gently cupped her face, and his eyes held hers, conveying the deepest most abiding love. She smiled at him, with a serene smile, a knowing smile, a smile that held so much wisdom for one so young, as if she knew what great love was, and saw it in the boy.  Lily opened her eyes, "I was young. We were young. We never love that way twice, it's...puppy love. " She said almost choking on the words. He heart burned and her mind rejected the word puppy love, they were not puppy love, they were true. Her mind screamed, but she wouldn't listen. She couldn't listen.  

Lily reached up and caught a tear. She hadn't realized she was crying. "I love Nick," her voice broke, "I really do."

"We know," Colleen said. "Sweetie we know that you love Nick, and as much as it pains me to say it. Kate is right."

"Wow, thanks Colleen," Kate mumbled.

"Lily we just want you to be happy. And for a while now it's as if you've been trying to convince you're self that you've been happy. You're trying so hard to make something fit, that just isn't working, and sadly I have helped you perpetuate this stage play," said Colleen. "And I'm...I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made excuses for Nick every time he disappointed you. I know that marriage isn't always easy, but rather than suggesting you talk to him and go see a councilor. I just told you to accommodate him."

"CC," Lily said. She rarely called Colleen, CC, but she knew how much she loved the nickname Billy had given to her. "It's not your fault." Lily said handing Colleen the box of tissues, Kate had retrieved from sofa table. "I let this happen. I became accepting and Nick just...got used to it. It's not his fault. I set this tone in our marriage."

"Lily that's crap," Kate said furiously. She wasn't going to sit here and listen to her two best-friends-her only real friends- continue to take up for Nick. She believed that Nick loved Lily, but he didn't really appreciate her. He appreciated her forgiveness, but he didn't appreciate her. The person she really was, and not the one she'd turned her self into for him. "You may have given some, but that didn't give him leeway to take and take, until there was barely anymore of you to give.  A marriage is supposed to be balanced, with a little bit of give and take from each party. You are always giving, and he is always taking. "

Lily interrupted, "Kate its not-"

"What does he give you?"

"He gave me hope. He made me believe in love again."

"I didn't say gave. Nick provided those things before you married him, but since then, what has he given?"

"Love," she said simply. "Nick gives me love?"

"And?"

"And what?"

"Exactly," Kate said, "Exactly." Retrieving the remote control of the table, she pressed mute. Tom Hank's laughter penetrated the contemplative silence that had taken over the room.

Colleen and Kate stayed on the couch with Lily, who laid her head on Colleen's shoulder, while Kate sliced the French Silk cheesecake.

***

"Everything is going exactly as planned," She said.

"Where are you," asked the man on the other end.

 "I'm about go into a meeting." She said, and smiled, when he laughed.

"I hop it's a good meeting."

"O Billy," she purred, "It will be a meeting for the ages."  She replied, her heels clicking softly on the hardwood floor as she walked down the empty hall.

"Well then, let won't keep you."

"You could...if you wanted me." She said seductively."

He laughed, "Yeah, but you're to...spicy for me."

"Now that's a lie and we both know it. I think worldly would be a better description. Don't you "

"Worldly," he said testing the word, "I like worldly."

"Good, I'm glad that we could come to an agreement."

"Don't we always?"

"When it counts," she said, and then sighed, "I'm at my destination. I better go."

"Have fun."

"Always," She clicked the phone off and continued through the silent office.  It was after seven and most of the employees had gone home for the day. She probably shouldn't have been let in the building, but the security guard had been too enthralled by her double D's that he hadn't argued, when she said she wanted to surprise an old friend. It was the truth, although they weren't exactly friends.

"Um Miss," said a young blonde man sitting in the desk at front of the door of her destination. "I don't believe Mr. Newman is expecting you."

She gave the man on of her dazzling smiles and walked past, "O, but he is. He's been expecting me all day." She walked into the office, and closed the door, in the drooling assistants face.

Nick looked up, when his door closed, "What are you doing in my..." The words died on his tongue the moment she turned around.

"Hi honey, I'm home."

She sat on the bed with a thump. Lily could feel a massive headache coming on. She couldn't believe the things Nick had said to her. He'd been so...cruel and hurtful. She had never seen this side of him. Lily knew that he was ruthless in his business dealings, but he had never been that way with her.

She lay back on the bed resting her head on the mound of pillows that were propped against the headboard. Sleep, she just wanted to sleep. Sleep would erase everything, and her mind could be blissfully blank. She was about close her eyes, when she heard the door open.

"Baby," Nick called from door. "Lily?"

Reaching over Lily turned on the night stand lamp. "Nick I'm tired. I have a headache and I am not about to argue with you again." She couldn't handle anymore, not tonight. He was pushing her and pushing her, and if he kept it up, she was likely to say something that she would regret.

"We need to talk."

"Nick please can't it wait."

"No it can't," he said in a voice that broke no argument.

Lily sighed. "What, Nick, what is so important that it can't wait until morning?"

"I don't know maybe our marriage."

She laughed, "O my god, do you really think that the problems in our marriage are going to be solved by you berating me." She sat up, "Go ahead. Please continue to throw my past in my face. Do whatever you need to do, to make you feel better. And for the record it won't help our marriage." 

Nick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What do you want from me? What can I say that will make you stop looking at me as if I'm the most untrustworthy man on earth?" He asked, moving toward the bed.

"I need some time. "

"Haven't I already given you plenty of time?"

"And what the hell is that suppose mean?" She said getting angry. Her head was pounding, but she ignored the pain. He wanted to do this...fine they would, and when it was over, one of them would be truly sorry.

"When are we going have kids," he asked, sounding as if he were asking when they were going to buy a new toaster.

Lily closed her eyes. She should have known. Their marriage was mostly a happy one, aside from Nick always putting her last, him expecting her to drop everything for him, and the constant issue of when she going to have their kids. Nick had brought up starting a family only six months after they'd married. She had yet to graduate from college, but that hadn't seemed to matter to him. She'd told him that she wanted to graduate first, and then maybe they would work on it sometimes after that. She'd wanted to be a young mother. Her mother had been a young mother, and she wanted to follow in her foot steps.  She'd imagined herself having her first child by twenty-four, just enough time to have started a career, or continue on with her masters.  Lily had never mentioned her dream to Nick, because he hadn't been the man she'd imagined having children with.

A few months after their talk, her mother, Druscilla Winters, was killed in the plane crash, along with her business partner, Colleen's father, Brad Carlton. Lily had been devastated. She and her mother were extremely close, even after Dru had tried for almost a year to keep her and Billy apart.  Lily never ever wondered if her mother loved her. Druscilla had been amazing when Billy left. She had never once said "I told you so." She'd held Lily and let her cry on her shoulder, gave her space, when she needed it, and brought her cans of whipped cream to consume-even if she had found it repulsive. She did it, because it made Lily feel better. It didn't actually make her feel better, but it had made her smile. Drucilla had been tough as nails, extremely intelligent, and had her own special brand of wisdom that usually hit home.

Loosing her mother was another turning point in Lily's life. She'd gone from having no career to running a magazine. It had not been easy to wrestle control from the previous Editor and her staff, but she had. Lily, Colleen, and Kate had banded together and saved the once struggling Magazine. Lily had not had time to have a child. She'd barely had time to graduate, how had he expected her to have baby? But he had, and he still did, and she...and she would, but...not now.

"Lily," Nick called, snapping her out of her musings. "What, you still don't know?"

"I told you that I had..."

"Don't, don't you dare use the magazine as an excuse. That magazine could run itself. You act as if you're having my child means that you have to stop working."

  "Doesn't it? Isn't what having the Newman heir would mean?" She continued at his silence. "Me being a stay at home mom, having lunch with the ladies at the country club, having your meals on the table when you get home, at only god knows when, while wearing a pair high heels and a cocktail dress."

"I have never asked that of you, and I never would," he said. "You act is if being a stay at home mother is the worst thing in the world. My mother" he hit his chest, "was stay at home mom."

"See," she said, standing up. "That's exactly it. You say that you won't ask that of me, but you love to bring up how Nikki stayed at home. She may have stayed at home, but she didn't raise you. She sent you and Victoria off to boarding school, until you were each in high school."

"My sister and I attended the most exclusive boarding school in America. We received the best educations, and I would expect for my children to have the best education."

"But I will not," she said voice rising, "I will not send my children to a private school. Not every child wants to be sent away."

"Because he didn't," it was a statement. "Everything goes back to him." He spat. "I love you," walking forward, he stopped, took her face between his hands, and looked her in the eyes. "I love you. I Nicholas Newman, love's you, Lily Winter, and I am not going to let you leave me over some childhood fancy."

 "I am not-

 "We are going to have kids. The magazine will be fine, Kate and Colleen will handle everything, and you can hire someone as a temporary replacement."

"Nick," she started. He heart was pounding as she stared him in the eyes. She'd never seen him like this, he was so tense. He seemed...desperate.

"Our children will be raised in a way that we decide, and no one else's experience - Billy's or Kate's- will effect our decision." Nick leaned in and kissed Lily hard on her unresponsive lips. He kissed her forehead, and then spoke against it, "I love you. I don't want to loose you."

Lily could feel the tears sliding down her face, "I love you too," she said voice quavering. "But,"

"Go to sleep," Nick said cutting her off. "We can talk about it later." With that he turned, and left the room.

Lily crawled across the bed, and settled in the full down pillows. Her marriage was falling apart, and she didn't know what to do about it.  She lay in the dark silent room listening to the sound of her breathing, while staring at the champagne canopy over the bed. She shut her mind down. She didn't want to think about anything. She willed sleep to come. Her headache was easing, but her stomach was tied in knots, and her heart felt as if it was being squeezed by giant hands.  Lily felt as if she'd been lying there forever, but only fifteen minutes had passed since Nick's departure, before she finally begin to feel the pull of the sandman, taking her to the other side. And just before she made her journey to the Land of Nod, the phantom thought from earlier drifted across her subconscious. But is it enough?

***

"Mrs. Newman, we're here." Lily looked up at the driver who held the door open for her.

Making her way out of the car she said "Thank you," before pausing at the curb to stare up at the tall sky rise. It was a tall sleek gray building that rose over twenty feet in the air. It was smaller than many of the other building in the area, but sexier than the rest. The gray building consisted of cement and glass that looked black in the dark, but was clear, with a light tint. The glass touched just about every surface of the exterior. She knew the view must be breathtaking.

Lily had once dreamed of living downtown, staying in one of the huge high rise condominiums that were scattered throughout downtown Genoa City. All the major corporations were in the downtown area, so real estate developers built condo's in the area to accommodate executives. The downtown area was for the successful, rich, hip, and young. There were restaurants, and of course there was the Neman Fine Arts center, as well as the newly renovated Newman Coliseum. Newman, she thought. It was impossible to escape the last name...her last name.

She sighed, "Marcus," she looked over at the driver, who was waiting patiently for instructions. "You may retire for the evening."

Like any well trained employee Marcus didn't argue. He wanted to, Ms. Valentine had told him to make sure Lily got home, and as far as Marcus knew this wasn't Mrs. Newman's home. He was employed by WCV Publications, so he'd driven the beautiful Mrs. Neman home on several occasions. He wasn't her normal driver. She had a car, so more often than not she drove herself, unless it was really late. It wasn't that late, only a half past eight, but he was under the impression that his bosses had indulged a bit tonight.

"Marcus, did you hear me?"

Marcus looked at the fresh faced woman, who looked like a young ingénue, in blue jeans and a t-shirt and not the wife of Nicholas Newman, who was a member of one of Genoa City's most prominent families. "Yes, Madam," he said, "I will stay until you enter."

"Thank you," she said, before reaching in to the car to retrieve her purse and a bottle. "Goodnight Marcus."

"Goodnight Mrs. Newman," he said, watching her enter the building. As he walked around the vehicle, he couldn't help but wonder what brought her here.

***

Billy frowned, when he heard the knock on his door. Odd that the security desk hadn't informed him that he had a guest. Perhaps it was for someone else? He wasn't expecting any visitors tonight. He hand only gotten out the shower fifteen minutes ago, and was currently wearing a pair of blue and white stripped pajama bottoms, and a white ribbed tank.

He padded down the hall from the breakfast bar- where he'd been enjoying a gyro, while reading over some paper for work- to the front door. He opened the door without bothering to look through the tiny peep-hole.  He was about to ask if the person they was lost, but the words died before he ever had a chance to form them. 

"May I come in," she asked.

Billy stared down at the petite female at his door, taking in every one of her features.  His body reacted as his gaze lingered over her small pert breast, before returning to her gorgeous amber eyes. "What are you doing here?" He asked stepping back.

Lily walked past him, with the bottle raised in her right hand. "I thought we could have a drink. You know old friends all that." She pushed the bottle into his chest, releasing it for him to take hold off.

Billy had learned to school his features, but he was truly and utterly shocked. Lily, His Lily wanted to have drink?  He knew what it was without having to read the label. Cristal, he shook his head, she always did love the expensive stuff. He closed the door and watched as she looked around his home.

"It's nice," she said, after beat, "now where are the glasses?" She didn't wait for his answer, but went in search of the kitchen.

***

"Hi honey, I'm home."

Nick stared in shock. He was surprised that his mouth didn't fall open. It couldn't be...she couldn't he here standing in his office looking lovelier than the last time he'd seen her almost five years ago. Her blonde hair hung in seductive waves past her shoulders, and her eyes, her ever changing stunning eyes looked cornflower blue in the yellow sheath-dress she wore.

"Well," she did a slow turn, "like what you see?"

Nick's eyes of their own accord traveled down her body, taking in every curve, from her large round breast to the hips that were made for a man's hands to grip, while drove himself as deep as he could inside her. His mouth went dry as flashes of his past, their past in bed, surged into his brain. His body grew heated at the images.

She walked forward. Slowly, like a tigress stalking her prey, and that's exactly what he was. "Nicholas," she purred, "I didn't think you'd be happy to see me, but from the looks of it," she cast her eyes at his crotch, "It seems that you are...very-happy-to see me." She laughed, when Nick frowned, before he returned to his seat.

"What are you doing here, Sharon?" Fuck, thought Nick, as he discretely tried to adjust his pants.

"Business," Sharon said knowingly looking down at the desk.

Nick felt his face grow hot. Shit was he about to blush? He was a grown man. He was...a married man. Nick closed his eyes, and brought his wife into the forefront of his mind. She was wearing a white dress, with a pink flower in her hair. She smiled at him, and the love he saw in her eyes, made him feel like a better man. "We have nothing to discuss," he replied with more confidence that he felt.

"O but we do Nick, we do." She glided towards the desk, retrieving a white business card, from a sterling silver Tiffany case, as she came. She tossed the card onto the desk, before taking a seat.

Nick picked up the card, scanned it, and then cursed. It couldn't be. She couldn't be. "No," he said aloud.

She smiled brilliantly, "Yes."

Nick's heart was racing as he looked down at the card, before slamming it on the desk. "Mrs. Collins I presume.

She smiled, "In the flesh, but it's Miss." She said, and then winked.

***

"This is a nice apartment," Lily said, watching Billy fill her glass with champagne.  "It fits you," she looked around the space, and took in the charcoals, blues, and browns that made up the living room.

"Thank you," he said, sitting on the couch next to her. She hadn't said much since her arrival five minutes ago, other than to remark on the décor. "I didn't decorate it."

"Oh,"

"Jemma, she's my assistant in London, flew in and supervised everything.

"She knows you very well," Lily said trying to keep the stiffness out of her voice. Billy was rarely impressed by people, but he'd said Jemma's name with enough inflection, which made if clear that he was fond of her. "She's good at her job."

"The best," he said, and smiled. "I am not an easy man to please."

"Ah, so nothing has changed" she quipped.

"Many things have changed, but in not in that regard."

"I see you still don't like champagne." She nodded at his tumbler. He'd brought out a decanter filled with a clear liquid that she assumed was vodka.

"It has its place. I just prefer a real drink," he said, saluting her with his glass, before taking a sip. "

"I can assure that Cristal is a very real drink." She relaxed back on the sofa. Her body was slightly angled towards his, with one jean clad leg casually tucked beneath her.

"Only to light a weight like you," He quipped.

"Rappers like Cristal," she said in defense. "They talk about it in some of their songs."

 "They like the label, the cost, that it's expensive. Trust me. They'd take a bottle of Veda Black Ice if they wanted something with a real kick. You should try it." He held out the tumbler to her.

She stared from him to the drink and then back again. She'd never tried vodka straight up, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

"You know you want to." He teased.

"Said the snake to Eve," She said and took tumbler from his hand. She stared down into the clear liquid for a second, before taking a sip. "Ugg," she squealed. "That's...disgusting, how the hell do you drink that?"

"Easy," he replied, before plucking the glass from her loose grip and tossing back the contents.

She shuttered. "That's just...nasty, really nasty.

"It's an acquired tasted."

"One that I will never acquire," she said making a face.

Billy poured another glass, and watched her out of the corner of his eyes. What exactly was she doing here, and how long he was going to have to wait, until she told him? There was no way she'd come over to shoot the breeze, but then again, he could tell that she's was slightly tipsy. Lily walking around with alcohol was highly amusing, even if he did find it somewhat disturbing. This was not apart of his plan. Yes, he'd told her she would come to him, but they were a little a head of schedule.

"Do you remember when we use to visit Jabot? We'd come downtown, walk around, and look at all the buildings."

"Yeah I remember. You told me that you wanted to live here someday."

"I did. I wanted to live in a penthouse apartment like this one. I wanted to be high up above in the clouds." She laughed. "I knew that I wouldn't be living in the clouds, but I would be close to them. Closer than where I was when I lived at home. Miles Estate," said Lily in reference to the six bedrooms, four bathrooms mansion she grew up in "was massive in size, but only a two story."

"True, but I remember you saying that a condo wouldn't be the best place for kids, because it wouldn't have a backyard."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "You...you remember that?"

"Yep," he said, before taking another sip of his drink. "There are few things about you that I don't remember."

She looked down at her glass, which she'd been steadily sipping from to find is empty. Reaching for the bottle she poured another glass, and then took a long sip, before she replied. "I believe that. You used to always know what I needed, even when I didn't know I needed it." She shook her head, "that didn't make sense."

"It did. To me, it makes sense to me."

"Do you still know?" She asked staring him in the eyes. "Don't...don't answer that," she said with a laugh. "It's too serious."

"And you're not in the mood to be serious."

Lily laid one elbow on the couch and propped her chin on her hand. "Not especially. I'm a little tired of being serious. I sometimes feel that that's all I do. That being ‘serious' is all my life is now."

"It's called being an adult, or at least that's what I've been told."

"Let me guess, Jack?"

"Miss Winters you are correct."

"What do I win?" She asked, with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

"What do you want?"

Lily knew that answering this question could be dangerous, it could lead to consequences that she wasn't ready for. But she didn't want to play it safe. She was tired of playing it safe. She had gotten... No. Lily dropped the thought from her mind before it could fully form. "To be the girl I use to be." It was the truth, a sad truth.  She wanted to be the girl she was before everything changed, before he left, before her life became so...staid.

"And here I thought you didn't want to be serious."

"It's inevitable with us." She smiled sadly. "I'm not her. I wish was, but I'm not her." She took another sip, "I grew up, but we all do. I'm not Billy. I know you came her thinking that the girl you use to know still exists, but she doesn't. And I need you to know that."

"Lily, I know that. But you are still the girl I loved, you've only grown up. And you've hidden a piece of her away, but she's still there. She's still apart of you."

"Is he apart of you?" She asked, watching as he readjusted his position on the couch to match hers. "Is the boy I fell in love with still in there."

Billy looked down at pretty pink toes that peeked out from under her leg. What could he say? The answer should be easy, but at times he wasn't even sure if he was the same kid he'd been in college. Should he tell her the truth or lie? Should he confide in her, tell her that the boy is apart of her, and only she could return him to himself? What should he say? Billy was so confident in every aspect of his life, but no matter how much he tried, it took every ounce of his strength to be the same man with her.

"You don't know...do you" she asked, after watching the slight shifts in expressions on his face. A stranger wouldn't have noticed it. Only someone who knew Billy as well as Lily did would have seen the slight shifting of indecision on his face, even as he'd tried to hide it. It was there, in the small bend of his lips, and the twitching of his brows.

"No, I do know." He said. "But I don't think you want to here the answer."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"No. Well, yes." He said. "Fuck," he ran a hand through his hair.

"That's what I thought. But I'm not her and you're not him, so why are you here?" This was it. She'd asked him this question so many times before, but to no avail. O, he'd danced around the answer, but he hadn't been direct, and she wanted to know. It wouldn't change anything, but she needed to know.

"You're right. I don't know if he's still there, but I know that he must be. Because how could I still feel this way I feel about you?" How could I still love you? Billy thought.

 Lily bit the side of her lip, "I've seen him. Once, I've seen him only once since you've returned, so I guess." She sighed deeply before continuing. "I guess he's still there."

"Thank you."                                               

"No... thank you." She said. "I should probably go home now?"

"If that's what you want."

She looked at him. Her eyes took in his damp disheveled hair, penetrating stare, strong jaw, and the white t-shirt that was molded to his body. She shook her head. "No. I don't want to go home."

"What do you want?" Billy asked. His voice held a promise of gratification.

"I want you to answer the question."

"Is that all?"

"No, but it will do for now."

He didn't want to do it, but it was time. He needed to lay his cards on the table, and she needed to do the same. "I want you."

"That's it," she said slightly confused. "You...you want me?"

"Yes," he replied simply.

"For what," Lily asked, her mind raced in different directions, while her heart beat rapidly in her chest. "You've been trying to seduce me since you waltz back into town."

"This is not about sex." She looked at him skeptically." Yes, I want to make love to you. I want to make love to you until we both pass out. But I don't want it only once?"

"Billy, are you asking me to have an affair with you?"

"No." He sighed. "Let's talk about something else."

"No Billy, let's talk about this."

"We will, when you're ready. I will tell you everything, but only when you really want to hear it."

"I want to hear it now."

Billy shook his head sadly, "No my love... you're not ready."

My love, he shouldn't have called her that, and she should have corrected him, but she didn't. The words felt so perfect, so right. Maybe she was still that girl. "We're not same people. Billy we've changed.

"I know we have."

"Then how can you say you...want me? You don't really know this Lily." She said pointing at herself. "And I don't really know this," she placed her hand against his chest, somewhat surprised that she was close enough to touch him, "Billy.

Billy trapped her hand against his chest, "so tell me. I want to know everything about you, everything that I don't already know, and everything that's changed. Who are you now?"

Lily turned away, but didn't remove her hand. "I don't know." Reaching up she captured a single tear that slid down her cheek. "I really should go." She didn't move, "but I don't want to go."

"Then stay," he said knowing that he should send her home, but not able to say the words. He would regret this. He knew he would regret this, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to spend the night with her, even if it set him back. He wanted to spend the night with her, even if all he did was hold her.

"Ok," she said, and Billy lightly tugged her forward, bringing her closer, he stretched out his legs on the couch, and she climbed in his lap, her back to his chest. "But only for a little while."

Billy slid one arm around her waist, and gave a contented sigh. They use to sit like this in the field, under the stars, for hours.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You," he answered.

  "What about me?"

"Lily, you know who are you? You are one of the strongest women I know."

"I don't feel strong."

"Some of the strongest people don't always feel strong. They believe that because they put others before them, that it makes them weak. It takes a strong person to be the passenger, especially when you want to drive, and you know that you're the better driver."

"But shouldn't the passenger say when enough is enough?"

"Yes. But just because they don't say it, doesn't mean that they're weak. It means that at some point, they forgot that they knew how to drive."

"I'm a good driver," Lily said, and then swallowed back the tears she felt, "I'm a damn good driver."

"I know baby, I know." He said, and then kissed her hair. "Although not in a car," he said to interrupt the tension he could feel beginning to course through her body.

She elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch."

"I'm a good driver," she said.

Billy smiled he could tell she was pouting, but he didn't respond. He only enjoyed the moment. He it couldn't last, so he would treasure ever second.

"Thank you," she said, staring ahead at the charcoal gray wall, with black and white framed photos, one in particular that of a younger Billy and his father. "He must still be in there, because somehow, he always knew what I needed to hear."

"Ditto," he said, following her line of vision.  

***
"This has to be a joke," Nick said, staring at the card on his desk.

"I assure you that it's not." Sharon replied coolly. She was going to enjoy her time in Genoa City. She was only passing through. It was going to be short, but memorable.

"How could you be the CEO of Symphonic Smells? The CEO also owns the company, there is no way you had enough capital or the credit start up the company."

She smiled. "O how time fly's. It's so easy to forget, isn't Nick." She waited a beat for his reply, but none was forth coming. "I invested the money your father paid me. You know the money that he paid me to go away?"

"My father couldn't have given you that much."

 "O but I a sure you the great Victor Newman spared no expense getting the ‘trash'" she made quotations, "out of his son's life. Especially when he was marrying the sweet, innocent, pure as freshly fallen snow Lily Winters."

Nick stood. "You and I weren't a together, when Lily and I started dating."

"Officially, Nick, we weren't officially together, but there were plenty of times, when we where together. It's not as if Lily doesn't know...some of it."

Nick's could feel his heart speed up at her words.  Sharon had been his drug of choice. She was sexy, sultry, and maddeningly beautiful. She'd been on a scholarship to Genoa City University, and he'd fallen hard the moment he'd laid eyes on her. She challenged him, and made want to cut the ties that bound him to the Newman name. She'd been his free place to go, but she'd also been trouble. She'd wanted the Newman wealth without his parent's constant judgment. Neither had approved of their relationship, which had made Sharon want to flaunt it in front of them even more. Sharon had been a rebellious vixen, who had taunted him, until he gave in to her every whim, and tried things that he'd only imagined. He'd smoked cigarettes, tried pot, extacy, and coke, participated in several ménage trios, and drank copious amounts of alcohol. His life had been spinning, and he'd enjoyed every bit of it. They would argue all the time, break up, and she'd have a new guy before the end of their first week. It drove him insane, how easily she replaced him. He'd always go back to her, and she'd laugh, taunt him again, until he'd want to hit her. They would argue and then fuck all night, until both were too tired to breathe.  Insanity is what she was, that's what they were, until they graduated, and stepped out into the real world. It all changed, well not all of it, they still argued and fucked, but they had left the rest behind in college.

"Hello," Sharon said snapping him out of his reverie.

"Why are you here?"

"I came for out meeting."

"Cut the shit Sharon, I know you. So tell me why you're really here?" Nick's eyes were hard, not a flash of longing in them. He needed her gone and now. She was bringing back memories that he'd long tried to bury.

Sharon sighed. Shaking her head, she tapped her clutch against her thigh. "Look, I don't have time for this. You wanted a meeting with the CEO of Symphonic Smells." She stood up. "I'm the CEO, and Nick, there really' isn't much for us to discuss." She made her way towards the door. It would be pointless for her to stay any longer. Nick was shocked by her presence, and wouldn't believe anything she said. They had things to discuss, important things, but he needed to pull himself together first.

"You walk in my office, tell me you're the head of a multi-million dollar company, and expect me to take you at face value?"

She paused, one hand on the door handle. "No, Nicholas. You would be a fool to take me at face value, and although you try your damndest to act the fool, we both know that you aren't. So I expect you to do your research and call me when you're ready to talk about business" she opened the door, "and other things.

"If, and that's a big if, you are the CEO, business is the only thing we have to discuss." Nick stood in front of the desk, his arms folded across his chest, in a faux lounging position. One would need to be relaxed to pull of a true lounging position, and he was anything but that. His body was tight from a mix of nerves and lust, pure agile lust. He hadn't been able to take his eyes of her ass as she walked away. If an ass could be gorgeous, hers was. It was round, firm, and enticing, just like every other part of her.

"O Nick," Sharon tsked, "Now you're really showing your foolishness, and here I thought I'd seen it all earlier. But you and I both know that we have something very personal" she emphasized the last word, "to discuss." She stepped out of the office and turned, "Have your assistant phone mine, after you've...smartened up a bit." She made to leave, "and don't take to long. You really can't afford to keep me waiting." She turned on her heels and left.

Like a lost puppy, Nick went to the door and watched until she waved at him over her shoulder in tootles jester. He slammed the door. How the fuck had she known he'd been watching? And what the hell was he going to do about it? Shit, his marriage was already rocky, and now Sharon's reappearance   would tilt the boat. "Fuck," he yelled, anger, irritation, and resentment getting the best of him.

You and I both know that we have something very personal to discuss. Her words replayed themselves in his head. Sealing a fate that would not be denied, no matter how hard he'd tried.

"What is it?" inquired a harried Cane upon entering Nick's office. Nick had phoned him more than thirty minutes ago. He hadn't told Cane anything on the phone.

***

"Nick," Cane said answering his cell.

"Yeah, it's me."

"What's up?" Cane looked at the clock on the wall in the den. 9:30 Why in the hell was Nick calling so late? He didn't sound like his usual self. Cane hoped this wasn't about his brother. Nick hadn't asked him about Billy, and Cane was extremely glad of that, but if something had happened with Lily...Shit, he didn't need this. He had to prepare for a case against a major conglomerate that was threatening to destroy a small village in South America. This was what he wanted to spend his time doing, not playing a pawn in some soapy drama that was a weak imitation of a Shakespearean tragedy. He really hoped that it was weak, because someone usually died in a strong tragedy. 

"I need you to meet me at my office."

Cane wanted to argue, but Nick's somber tone stopped him. Nick was his best mate. They'd been mates since Cane had arrived in Genoa City, sixteen, scared, and extremely lonely. "Alright, I will be there in a bit."

 ***

Cane took in Nick's slightly disheveled appearance. The sleeves of his button down blue shirt were rolled up, with the top two buttons undone, and his hair looked as if he'd been constantly running his fingers through it.  His jacket and tie were tossed carelessly next to him on the black leather sofa.

"What is it?" Cane took a seat in a chair across from Nick.

"Drink," Nick offered, holding out a decanter of Brandy.

"Sure," Cane said holding out the glass that was sitting in front of his chair. It seems that Nick has already arranged things. Once a small measure was poured into the glass, Cane returned it to its previous position on the table. "Why did you need me to stop by? It's not like you to call me so late, especially when you know how early I turn in."

"I need to talk you."

"About what, did something happen to Lily?"

"Lily," Nick sighed, "My wife, no, at least not yet, although I'm not really sure. I haven't spoken to her since last night, which was not one of the best nights of my marriage."

"If this is not about Lily, then what's it about?"

"Not what, but who, who is this about." Nick stared past Cane to the chair that sat in front of his desk. He could still see her sitting there. The yellow dress perfectly complimented her complexion, and the fit was so exquisite that it almost seemed indecent. In the hours since she departed, his body and mind had gone from one extreme to the next. He couldn't keep his thoughts straight or the overwhelming constant surge of lust down. He wanted her so badly. He kept seeing her spread out on his desk, the yellow dress above her thighs, as he drove himself into her. The vision was so acute that he'd had to relieve himself.  "Fuck," he said, angrily.

Cane was somewhat taken a back by his outburst. Was this about Billy? But if it wasn't about Lily then it couldn't be about Billy. The two were synonymous with each other, where Nick would be concerned. Even if this was a Newman versus Jabot type scenario, Lily and Billy's past relationship would be put on the table. Maybe not in the past, before Billy's return, but today, there was no way of speaking of one, without drawing in the other, even if it was unintentional. "Ok then, who is this about?"

"Sharon," replied Nick in a flat voice, his eyes bored into Cane's.

Fuck, in deed.

***

Lily felt content. She snuggled deeper into the chest at her back. She couldn't recall the last time she'd felt like this. It felt...perfect, absolutely perfect. She inhaled the masculine scent, committing it to memory. It was so familiar, this feeling was so familiar. She could lie like this all night. But some part of her mind, the part that was still alert, said that it was impossible. Was she dreaming? She moved slightly, and felt his arms tighten around her. Strong arms, she thought. She loved the feel of them. She loved the feel of him. She'd always loved the feel of him, and knew she always would. That alert part of her knew that she shouldn't feel this way. She needed to wake up, but she didn't want to. She wanted to stay like this forever.

***

"Nothing?" asked Nick.

"I...I'm not quite sure what to say. Give me a minute to digest the information." Cane said trying to form his thoughts. No wonder Nick had asked him to come over.

"You can take all the time you need, unfortunately I don't have that luxury."

***

She turned her head to the side, and felt soft lips brush against her forehead.

"Are you awake?" He asked against her forehead.

"No," she said, and could feel him chuckle in response. "Okay, so maybe I am."

"You should probably go home," Billy said. He didn't want to say it, but it was pointless not to. She would probably say it soon, and he really didn't want to hear those words from her again tonight. He wasn't sure if he was being selfish, selfless, or just plain old stupid.

"I know," she said. "Is that what you want?

Billy nearly groaned. Damn she was being unfair.

"Billy?" she asked sitting up, and turning to face him. "Do you want me to go home?"

Billy was lost as he stared into her beautiful brown eyes. He wanted to say Hell no, but that would probably ruin the mood. He wanted her to stay. He wanted a lot of things, for her to stay with him tonight, to tell him that she loved him, and would divorce Nick and return with him to London. But most of all, more than anything else, he wanted her to tell him that she forgave him for breaking her heart. But he didn't say any of that. She'd come to him, this was her moment, her journey, and her decision. "Do you want to go home?"

"At the moment, No," she said and laughed, but there was not a trace of humor in it. "I don't want to go home. I don't know where home is, but this feels like home." She said leaning in, her arms on either side of his head.

Billy swallowed. He was a man, who usually had a plan, who was always in control, but at the moment, with her staring at him as if he was the key to life, he felt like an untried youth.  Her hair hung in thick, straight, lustrous locks down her back, and over her shoulders. Earlier, he'd run his fingers through the mass, and messaged her scalp to help ease the slight tension he'd felt in her body. And now that hair called to him again, he preferred her natural curls, but he loved her hair regardless of the state. Lily had beautiful hair. At the moment he was playing with the ends that rested against her back. "Does it?"

Her eyes dropped a little, "You know it does."

"Yeah," he said, voice slightly hoarse. Once again, his eyes went past her to the photos on the wall, where they stopped at a particular picture.  A close shot of a bumblebee sitting on a flower, sitting on a lily. "What do you want?"

She looked down at his lips, and then up to his eyes, and without second guessing herself, she uttered on word, "You."

 "Are you sure?" he asked holding her eyes.

"Yes," she said.

Billy could see the heat in her eyes, the finality in accepting the decision she'd made. The confidence behind her words, where supported when she leaned forward and whispered. "I want you," a hair's breath away from his lips. Her sweet breath filled his nostrils, mixing with the scent of her vanilla hair, causing a potent aphrodisiac that almost wiped every single rational thought from his mind. "Are you sure?"

She looked at him for half a beat.  "Yes," she said, before placing her lips against his.

He felt her lips, pressing lightly against his own, entreating his to follow her down a path that they would not be able to take back. His lips pressed lightly against hers, letting her take the lead, and pull them further down the rabbit hole. He should stop her. He should push her away tell her to go home, because he saw it, there in her eyes for a millisecond was the tiniest flash doubt. In the past, in their past, he stopped whenever he saw doubt in her eyes. He always stopped, no matter how much her protests belied what he saw in her eyes.

 She pressed her body against his, which deepened the kiss, but only for a moment, before she eased her lips slightly away, and then ran her tongue over his bottom lip. She made to move away, but he captured her silky tongue with his, his arms sliding up her back, and his mind ignoring everything before this exact moment. 

***

  Nick was right, he didn't have the luxury of time when it came to Sharon, thought Cane. There were many reasons why Nick didn't have the luxury of time, when it came to Sharon, the least being Nick's strong physical attraction to her. If a person could be crack, then Sharon was Nick's crack. As Nick's best friend, Cane had been witness to the constant rollercoaster that had been Sharon and Nick. "I take it she's returned to Genoa city."

"To the bank," replied Nick.

"Have you seen her?"

Nick looked at Cane as if he were daft, "How the fuck else would I know that she was back?"

Cane wasn't one to be goaded into a fight, which was probably what Nick's comment was meant to do. He could roll with the best of them, but he always found anger to be a truly useless emotion. This was one belief that he and Billy shared. Cane had always lived his life by the rule, while Billy had learned through practice as he'd gotten older.  "The question has merit. Your father has more informants than the GCPD, one of them could have told you. And it is not out of the realm of possibility that an acquaintance could have seen her, and relayed the information to you."

Nick scowled at Cane's logic. "Don't look so smug."

"I can assure you that I'm not."

"Good, that's the last thing I need. You looking smug would only remind me of your brother, and I don't have time to think about him right now."

You better make time, thought Cane. He had a feeling that his little brother had something to do with Sharon's return. The timing was just too perfect to be a coincidence. Cane wasn't about to be made partner at the most prestigious law firm in Genoa City for nothing. "Alright, so Sharon's returned. Now what are you going to do about it?"

"What am I going to do about it?" Nick said tossing back his second glass of Brandy since Cane entered his office. "Why the hell do you think I called you?"

"I don't know, because I'm your best mate and you needed someone to talk to?"

Nick scoffed, "What are we girls? I didn't ask you to come over to braid my hair."

"Good," Cane commented dryly, "because I didn't bring my hair brush." He looked at his watch. His wife was going to kill him. If Cane's family wasn't in Genoa City, he'd seriously think about relocating. The constant drama and endless bickering amongst the natives was truly tiresome. "When did you see her?"

"A few hours ago," replied Nick. "She strolled into my office." Glided, she glided into his office. "She said that I was expecting her, which I thought to be a complete and total crock, until she showed me her business card."

"Wait, what does her business card have to do with anything?"Cane asked slightly confused.

This is was what Nick had been trying to wrap his mind around for hours. How was it possible that he didn't know that Sharon was the CEO at Symphonic Smells? His department always did a thorough check of every prospective business venture that Newman considered acquiring or purchasing shares in, from the business, to the employees, to the owners. Newman had invested time, and a considerable amount of money to get in the race to purchase the organic beauty supply company. He'd read the information Michael had gathered about the elusive Mrs. Collins, and obviously it wasn't enough.  How could this have happened? Michael knew Sharon. He'd helped arrange...things. Michael would have never knowingly let Newman waste money on any venture that she was tied to.

Cane watched whatever events lead to this moment play across Nick's face. His features went from contemplative to angry in a blink. There was obviously more to Nick's anger than just Sharon's return. Cane remembered what Nick had said earlier, about her expecting him. That had been weird, but it wasn't unlike Sharon to play mind games. She was particularly good at playing them with Nick.  "Why did she say you were expecting her?"

"I was...and I wasn't," at Cane questioning expressions, Nick said, "I returned to Genoa City, because I was supposed to have a meeting with the CEO of Symphonic Smells, unfortunately she canceled, or at least that's what her assistant Miss Jones relayed to Adam."

Cane didn't need him to finish, the situation had become crystal clear. "She changed her mind."

"I don't think she changed her mind. I think she only wanted to catch me off guard- and alone."

"And she did," Cane said finishing. This story just kept getting interesting, and they hadn't even dealt with the personal shit.

"And she enjoyed every-single- minute of it."

"I bet she did," Cane mumbled.

"And why shouldn't she enjoy it?" Nick said abruptly standing up. "I have no doubt whatsoever that she has been playing me this entire time. All those fucking changes she required of Newman, were just a game to her. I highly doubt that she has any intention of selling us the company." Nick paced the floor seething with anger and...lust. He wanted to kill her, to wrap his hands around that pretty neck, while driving himself deep into her, as he tightened his grip with each thrust, until he came simultaneously with the sound of her last breath. "Fuck," he yelled, which startled Cane. He was having morbid thoughts about fucking a woman to death. "You have to get rid of her."

Cane stood, "What the hell do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, but she has to leave Genoa City now." He stopped in front of Cane, his breath ragged. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Nick you need to calm down. She's been in town less than a day and she's already fucking with your head. You dumped her the last time, not the other way around." Nick was on edge, Cane wouldn't be surprised if he started to shake. Cane loved Mac, but the idea of her ever having the type of hold on him that Sharon had on Nick, scared him to his core.

Nick tried to calm down. Cane was right. He needed to be calm, when dealing with Sharon, but it was just so hard. He'd walked before. He'd told her it was over and moved on, for the first time he moved onto someone, who was selfless and caring. Someone who didn't play games or leave him feeling lost. He'd moved onto to someone, who supported him, who was always there for him.

"You need to think of Lily," Cane said as if reading his mind. "You broke up with Sharon, in order to pursue Lily." Nick needed to focus, because if he fell apart over Sharon, his marriage to Lily was going to end. Although his marriage to Lily would more than likely end, if certain truths where revealed. Cane knew all the secrets, and he was as sure as he knew it would snow in February, that each one would be revealed, before Sharon left town. "You need to think, because Sharon being the CEO is the least of your problems.

Nick returned to the sofa and sat. There was a lot more at stake than a business venture. Fuck, he'd screwed up. He'd put business first, because Sharon had wanted him to. Somehow she'd known. She'd known that he would put Newman before his wife. It was an obvious answer, one that he didn't want to explore. The simple fact was that she knew him. It had been five years, and Sharon still knew him, better than anyone else. "Lily will not happy, when she learns Sharon's was back."

"Yeah well, I'm sure she'll know how you feel about Billy being back."

Nick laughed, "No, you and I both know that the situation is completely different."

Very different, thought Cane, although this did give him the opportunity to fulfill his word to Billy, even if Nick hadn't asked. "True, but Billy is Lily's ex-boyfriend, who has also returned to town for business purposes."

"Yeah right, which was why he was having dinner and dancing with my wife?" Nick asked. His eyes bored into Cane's. "Come on Cane, he's your brother. You and I both know that no matter what story Billy's bandying about, that he has designs on my wife."

He hated this. He really hated this. "Billy does what he wants to do. Rather he's here on business or," Cane paused to think of a way to frame his next word.

"If he's here to steal my wife," Nick said filling in the blank. "You can say it Cane, I'm sure it's crossed your mind."

"Maybe once or twice, but Billy will not force Lily to do something that she doesn't want to do."  His brother had changed over the years. The man he saw now was barely recognizable. But Cane knew one thing with all certainty, and that was that no matter how much Billy pushed or what techniques he used, William Foster Abbott would never force Lily to do something she didn't want to. 

"And that's the problem," Nick stared down into his drink. "Billy wouldn't have to try hard at all. I've let her down enough that all he'd have to do was show up, and she'll probably fall right into his arms."

You did that, Cane wanted to say, but he didn't. "Look you don't know that. Lily loves you, and no matter what issues you have in your marriage, I seriously doubt that she'll let Billy seduce her."

"Maybe she should," Nick said out of nowhere.

"You don't mean that," Cane asked somewhat aghast.

"I do... and don't. The idea of him touching her makes me want to throw something, and at the same time, well if she cheated, then it would..." He let the sentence fall off.

"No Nick, it wouldn't," Cane replied to Nick unfinished statement. "Not even by a long shot."

Nick downed the contents of the glass. The amber liquid burned his chest, and his heart tightened. "I don't want to lose her."

"Then you need to tell her the truth." Cane said beyond exasperated. He felt like he was talking to one of his children.

Nick looked up at Cane, and in voice devoid of emotion asked, "Which truth?"

Cane picked up the untouched glass of Brandy, and downed it in one swallow. Cane had a sneaking suspicion that he didn't know all of Nick's secrets, and he really didn't want to discover them tonight. "You can start with telling her of Sharon's return, and everything else will fall into place."

 "I highly doubt that."

"Then doubt it," Cane said standing. "But no matter what, you have to tell Lily about Sharon. You need to tell her everything about Sharon."

Nick stood, "You make it sound easy."

"It won't be, but it's your shit Nick. You made the mess, now it's time to clean it up.

"The truth isn't going to help my marriage," Nick said following Cane, who started towards the door.

"And the lies are?" Cane shook his head, his love for Mac wasn't the only reason he'd agreed to lie for Billy. Cane owed a debt to Lily, even if she didn't know it, he did.

"She doesn't need to know everything." Nick said, stopping Cane with a hand on his sleeve.

"Nick wake up! Do you really think that Sharon isn't going to tell Lily about the two of you?"

"Lily hates Sharon, so I highly doubt that she will believe her."

"I know you've been drinking, but you and I both know that Sharon has proof, an infallible truth that comes in the form of DNA."

Nick closed his eyes to fight the overwhelming surge of memories. Memories that he'd buried deep with his psyche, that even now with Sharon's return had yet to come to the surface, but standing in front of Cane, hearing those three letters. "Noah," Nick croaked, "I forgot about Noah." Everything came rushing back.

Cane never understood how Nick could have turned his back on his son, even if he'd never met him. He placed a hand on Nick's sleeve, but didn't say anything before leaving. Yes, he owed Lily a debt. It was unfortunate that paying it would cost his best friend his marriage, but Cane always repaid his debts.   

It felt like they'd kissed for hours, when it was only mere seconds. Her tongue danced with his in a rhythm that was slow, sensual, and familiar. It was the only thing familiar.  Billy's hand moved over Lily's back, and down her spine to end at the curve of her butt. He massaged and kneaded, pulling her closer to him, while his mouth continued to explore her sweet depths.

Lily felt hot, her body was on fire, and her nipples were hard nubs straining against the lace material of her bra. She needed to feel him. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, to feel his hardness against her softness. She moved closer, and began rubbing her breasts against his chest. She smiled, when she heard him groan at the sensation. The friction was wonderful, but it wasn't enough. She wanted more.

Lily nipped Billy's lip, before pulling away. She stared down into his lust filled blue eyes and felt...powerful.  It was wonderful, this feeling of power, that almost felt foreign to her outside of the office. She supposed it was because she hadn't felt it outside of the corporate arena in years. Nick looked at her with lust in his eyes, but somehow even if she initiated sex, he was always in control. It was as if he kept a part of himself from her.  While Billy...Billy fully opened himself up to her. He could take control, and yet from the moment she'd entered His domain, he had left everything up to her. Oh, he was by no means submissive, but she felt his total surrender to her, just as she had to him. They were equals in this, no matter what happened this night. She and Billy were both responsible.

"I like the way you look at me," She said taking one of his hand and placing it on her breast. She moaned, when he pinched the extended nub.

"Do you?" he asked leaning forward he licked a nipple through her white cotton shirt.

"Yes," she breathed arching into to him. His tongue slid back and forth over the bud, making it harder and harder, while his hands made their way under shirt. His hands were warm against her skin. The soft tips of his fingers slid up and down her spine causing a tingling sensation that grew in the pit of her stomach. "Hmm," she moaned, as she reached behind her to remove his hands from her back.

Billy looked up from her breast confused. Had she changed her mind? The sultry look in her eyes said no, that she was just as hot as he was. And he was very hot. He was happy that he wasn't wearing restricting material like jeans, which could have been painful. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this aroused. As if she could read his mind, Lily ran her palm over the tent of his pants, before finding his circumference and easing her hand down his length.

Billy closed his eyes as she stroked him up and down. She held him tight within her palms, fist clenched, squeezing slightly as she drove him insane. "Lily," he breathed, "I...Oh God." His eyes flew open, when he felt something wet on his shaft. He'd been so dazed that he hadn't felt her move. She was staring at him in a way that he'd never witnessed before. There was a sensual confidence in her eyes, one that hadn't been there only minutes ago. She's seemed sure, and her skills were testament to that, but this look...the way she looked at him...was new.

"Vodka," she said. "I wonder if you can make it taste better."

Billy was about to reply, but stopped, when she stood up, and in one fluid movement removed her shirt, and dropped it on the floor. Billy's eyes ate up every exposed inch of her. "Stunning, you are absolutely stunning," he said in awe of her delectable physic.

She smiled, "You're not so bad yourself." Without warning, and with the same fluid movement, her jeans were off and discarded on the floor. She didn't give him a chance to examine her, but grabbed the decanter of vodka, and walked out of the room without a backward glance.

Billy sat stunned for about a millisecond, before he jumped off the couch, grabbed the bottle of Cristal and followed Lily, to where, he didn't know and simply didn't care.  

***

Billy yawned, and reached over to touch Lily, but found the spot vacant. He frowned, where was she? How had she gotten up without him feeling her move? The last thing he remembered before finally falling into a deep restful sleep, after their third time making love, was kissing her forehead as she lay against his chest.   "Lily," he said, shifting from his stomach on to his back, where he froze at the sight that greeted him.

Lily was standing at the foot of his bed bent over. Billy licked his lips at her delectable caramel rear. He sat up, with a smile on his face. She didn't have much of an ass, but what she did have was spectacular. A man could get used to waking up to a view like this. Billy was about to call her back to bed, until he noticed that she was sliding on her jeans. He frowned. It had never crossed his mind that she would be getting dressed. She hadn't even woken him up. Could Lily have been attempting to sneak out? He wanted to shake the thought away, but he'd called her and she hadn't responded. "Lily," he said again, his voice much harder than he intended it to be.

Lily heard his call, she'd heard both, but she continued her task, loathe to turn around, because they needed to talk, and she wanted to be fully clothed for their discussion. What she was about to do, went against everything she felt, but it had to be done. She needed her life back in order, and Billy being around wasn't going to help that.  

"I know you heard me," Billy said slightly annoyed. Was she trying to pretend that last night hadn't happened?

"I did," she said nonchalantly. She reached for her shirt, slid it over her head and turned around.

Gorgeous, she was absolutely gorgeous. Her hair was wild and looked as if someone had been pulling on it all night. Billy smirked, he had. Her lips were swollen, her face glowed, and her eyelids were slightly hooded. She looked like a woman who'd been truly and thoroughly loved. "If you heard me, then why didn't you turn around?"

"Billy," she purred walking to the bed with a swing in her hips. "I wanted to finish my task first." She sat down next to him on the bed, leaning in she placed a lingering kiss on his lips. "I have to go home." She said against his lips.

"No, you don't," he growled, pulling her into his arms he ravaged her willing mouth. She tasted of mint toothpaste and mouthwash. Someone had been out of bed for a while, she even smelt fresh.  "You've been busy."

"I just took care of the bare necessities. I can't return home to Nick with your scent on me." She said casually. She didn't feel casual. She was an adulterous. She'd broken her vows and she didn't regret a single moment of it. At the moment her marriage was like a rock in the middle of a lake, and she'd just tossed an anchor on top of it.   

Billy sat back. "I thought you said you didn't know where home was? Did something happen in the...Oh I don't know, twenty or so minutes you've been awake?" He asked sarcastically. They'd had the best sex he'd ever experienced in his entire life. His body was still thrumming, and the room still held the essence of their love making. He didn't understand how she could be so nonchalant about the entire thing.

She sighed, which irked him.

"Nick is probably worried about me. I always call if I'm not going to come home." Actually, she'd never spent a night away from home, without informing Nick first. No matter how tired she'd been after a long night at the office, she always went home.

"You weren't thinking about Nick last night."

"Actually, I was," she said.

Before she could even blink, Billy grabbed her forearm in a tight grip. "Are you telling me that you were thinking about Nick while..."  He trailed off, too angry to get the words out.

Lily had never seen Billy this angry. Not even after she'd lied in her office, when she told him she'd been thinking about Nick when she kissed him. Billy hadn't been as angry as he was now. His eyes were a color of the sea after a savage storm, pulsating with a rage more dangerous than a tidal wave.  She knew he would never hurt her, and he hadn't grabbed her hard enough to where it caused her pain. If anything she knew that she'd hurt him.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said gently. She didn't want to hurt him, but they were not the same people they were in high school. She'd moved on with her life...or at least she'd tried to and she needed to for him to do the same.   

He let her go. "Then what exactly did you mean?" he bit off. He needed to calm down. He wasn't a violent man, but the idea that she would make love to him, while thinking about Nick, tapped into a side of him that he hadn't known existed. Deep down he knew that she still belonged to him, as much as he belonged to her. But it wasn't easy to remember, when everything was so new.

"Earlier, at the office," she said by way of explanation. "From the moment I told the driver to bring me here. You were the only person I thought about. Billy last night was...amazing and wonderful. It was one of the best nights of my life." She said, and stood.  

"It was one of the best nights of your life, but you want to return to the bleak misery of your ‘home'" he said making quotations with his fingers. "We connected on a level that went beyond anything that either of us has ever experienced. I felt you last night. I felt you come alive underneath me. I felt your soul stir, as you once again you gave yourself completely over to me."

"And I did," she said. "I gave myself to you completely, but it doesn't change anything."

"Oh really," he said.

"No, Billy, it doesn't change anything. Last night was a one time thing. It will not happen again." She said staring down at him. He looked yummy. His dirty blonde locks were sticking up all over his head and he had a light five o'clock shadow that made him look slightly dangerous. She licked her lips.   

Billy nearly groaned as he watched her tongue slide over her full bottom lip. He needed to get her back in his bed, yesterday. "Really?" he asked, and stood.

Lily looked down at the covers that lay discarded on the bed, and then to Billy, who was standing before her naked as the day he was born. Her eyes trailed down the smooth contours of his chest. Billy didn't have a six pack hard body, but he was still solid muscle. He had firm hard muscular thighs and what lay beneath them was thing of beauty. He wasn't exceptionally large or small, slightly above average would be her best guess, but Billy's love making skills were beyond measure. If a man could get a PHD in sex, Billy would graduate summa cum laude.

"I think it was more than a one time thing. Lily we had sex several times last night, in almost every position you can do without using the Karma Sutra as a guide," he said, stalking forward.

 She wasn't going to move, yes, her body was tingling, but she wouldn't let him know it. She wouldn't let him know how badly she wanted to crawl back into bed and make love to him until she forgot her name. To let him hold her, and tell her that everything was going to be okay. That she could run away from her problems, from her husband, and no one would think she was a coward. "Billy," she said folding her arms under her breasts, "I meant the entirety of last night, not each separate event."

He stopped in front her, "So what was the point? You just wanted a pick me up? Did you and Mini Victor have a fight?"

"Yes, but that had nothing to do with you. I don't know why I came over here last night, but I assure you, that having sex with you was the furthest thing from my mind." She replied holding his eyes, which was damn hard, because they wanted to stray lower.

"Tiger you've never been a good liar. You came over to my house, at night, with a bottle of expensive champagne, and sex never once entered that pretty little delusional head of yours?"

"I," Lily started to speak, but stopped. It was the truth, maybe somewhere in her subconscious she'd wanted to have sex with Billy. It wasn't as if he hadn't initiated the entire thing with his reappearance in town, so it wasn't her fault that her body and mind were not of one accord. "Fine, I wanted to have sex with you and I did, end of story."

Billy wasn't sure what to make of Lily at this moment. She seemed so blasé about the entire situation, when there wasn't anything blasé about it. He should probably put on some clothes, because he was beginning to feel slightly silly having an argument in the nude with a woman who was fully clothed.

As if she could read his mind, she turned to the bench at the end his bed, picked up his boxers and tossed them to him.

Billy caught the underwear, and tossed them on the bed. "I'm good, but if you're feeling uncomfortable, you might want to remove a few items of clothing."

"I'm fine, it's not as you have something I haven't seen before." She watched his hands ball into fist. Point for her.

"Since we're both fine, let's get back to the matter at hand."

"Billy there is no matter at hand. We had sex, it was great, hell it was amazing, but that is all it was."

Billy had been waiting for last night for seven years, and there was no way in hell that he would let her pretend that it didn't meant anything. "Cut the shit TL, when you and I both know what this is about."

"Really, please I'm all ears."

"You're afraid. Being with me scares you. You have your nice mundane life with your idiot husband, who kisses your ass...well when he has time to." He smiled, when he saw her tense. He shouldn't have enjoyed that, but he did. She was hurting him in ways that he never thought possible. "You would rather stay here in your comfortable little bubble than take a chance on us again."

"Oh my god, you are amazing! I mean you really figured me out." She shook her head. "News flash Billy, and please pay attention, because I don't want you to miss anything. My life, and the decisions that I've made, have not been because of you. If I choose to stay with Nick it will be because I want to, and if I leave Nick it will be because I," she pointed at her chest, "chose to. You will have no bearing on the decisions I make, when it comes to my marriage." Lily didn't realize what a brilliant actress she was until that moment.

Billy slowly clapped his hands, "That was a pretty good speech, and I'm sure you think that's true, but we both know...well maybe deep down you know, that your marriage to Nick had everything to do with me."

"Argh," Lily said. She wanted to scream. Why couldn't he just let this go, let her go? "You know what Billy, you can believe whatever the hell you want to believe, but it doesn't change a thing. Last night wasn't the beginning of something."

"Then what was it?"

"It was the end...of us." Lily said, not taking her eyes from his. "I want you to leave."

"Excuse me?" Billy asked trying to recover from the blow her words had dealt him. He felt like she'd physically hit him in the gut with a sledgehammer.

"I want you to leave Genoa City."

Billy was certain that he'd misunderstood her. She couldn't be..."You want me to leave Genoa City-my home, the place where my family is?"

"Billy, you didn't have any intention of staying in Genoa City, so please don't play the martyr. It doesn't suit you."

"Wow, the tiger's claws are out, and they are very sharp. My back still stings from their assault last night."

Lily ignored the comment, "Leave Genoa City."

"That sounded like a command. And I am very sure that you would never command me to do anything. But regardless if you did, I'm not going anywhere. My leaving would make it too easy for you. How does the old adage go," he paused to think, "Oh yeah, out of sight, out of mind?"

"Why is it so important for you to stay now? You didn't seem to care seven years ago, when I was ready and willing to follow you to the ends of the earth. You had to go out and find yourself. And yet, you believe that you can just waltz back into my life as if nothing happened?" She said, and felt little satisfaction, when saw his jaw twitch.

"And here I thought that my actions had nothing to do with you life. If what you say is true, then why do you want me to leave?"

I don't want you to leave. I need you to leave, thought Lily. "You once told me that you would do anything that I asked. Do you remember that? You seem to remember everything else."

Billy didn't respond. Of course he remembered it, and he'd known that one day, he would regret it.

"I am asking you to leave Genoa City," Lily said, "you are either a man of your word, or you're not. My Billy was a man of his word. If any part of him still lives inside of you, then you will prove it to me," she walked forward invading his personal space. Looking up, she stood on her tip toes and placed a light kiss against his frozen lips, before stepping back, "and do what I want you to do." She said and turned to leave.

"If I leave, and that's a big if, because hell, I'm not Your Billy. Remember TL," he said, watching the confusion pass over her face at his words. "That night in the field, when I told you that no one could love you more than I did." He saw the moment she remembered, and felt a twinge of gratification by the sadness he saw pass through her eyes. "I gave the man that I was to you that night, and every day that I spent away from you, it was as if more and more of him left me to find the piece that lives in you."

Lily could feel her heartbeat speeding up. She felt hot, as if she was standing in a furnace, and the smoke was making her eyes water. She opened her eyes wide, to keep the tears at bay. She wouldn't cry, she couldn't cry, if he saw... No she had to leave, because she couldn't hold them back, every memory they'd ever shared in the field began flooding her mind. This was so unfair. Why had he left, and why, after she'd moved on, had he decided to return? Her mother would have told her that life was unfair. And it was, so very fucking unfair. "I have to go," she said quickly and reached for the door.

"You asked me," Billy said taking a few steps forward. "If I leave, remember that this time, you asked me."

Blinking three times, and swallowing hard, Lily turned back to look at him one last time, before leaving his room. She stopped in the living room, picked up her purse, slid on her flip flops, and left his apartment as a duet of tears slid simultaneously from her eyes.

***

Billy wasn't in the best of moods, and he sure as hell wasn't in the mood to deal with his brother, who sitting across the conference room table from him, demanding to know what was going on with Symphonic Smells. This might have been a good time to tell Jack the truth about his involvement with the company, but he just didn't feel like it.

"Did you know that Sharon was the CEO?" asked Jack.

"Yes," Billy said tiredly. He should have stayed home. He'd never tried it, but he wondered if gorging on an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's would have been as gratifying as women made it out to be.

"You knew, and you didn't tell me." Jack said, a vein bulging in his forehead.

"Jack," Billy said between clenched teeth, "I told you that I had everything under control and I meant it." His eyes bore into Jack's across the small conference room table. "You either trust in my ability to get this shit done or you don't. Either way, at the moment I really don't give a fuck." With that Billy stood, and left the room without a backward glance.

***

The Jabot employees kept a careful distance from Billy as he walked back to his office. The gossip had already spread that the usually charming young Master Abbott was in a foul mood today. It was evident to the security guy Charles at the front desk, who'd passed the news on the minute Mr. Abbot passed the security check point on his way into the office that morning. The news spread from the receptionist, to the mail boy, who'd delivered the mail and the news to just about every low level employee at Jabot, who then delivered it to their superiors, who made it a point to avoid Mr. Abbott at any cost. However, less than fifteen minutes ago it seemed as if the older Mr. Abbott didn't have the same qualms as the rest of the office. It might have been because neither Abbott was in a particularly good mood, and from the looks of things, nothing had changed.  It did not come as a surprise to any of the assistants to see the younger Mr. Abbott leaving the office not long after he'd entered.

"Mr. Abbott," Davie the assistant called as Billy approached his desk. "You have a..."

"Not now," Billy said in dismissal, as he continued past Davie into his office. He wasn't in the mood to hear what his assistant had to say. God he missed Jemma. He couldn't wait to return to his office in London. Unfortunately he wouldn't be returning anytime soon. What the hell was he going to do about Lily? His tiger thought she had the upper hand, but she would soon find out how wrong she was. He wanted to be there, when her world came crashing down around her- only to give her someone to lean on, but it wasn't going to happen if he did as she wanted, and left. He sighed, as he walked into his office.

"I hear you're not having a good day," asked a voice from one of the wing chairs in Billy's office. "Good, I'm not having one either.

Billy's head jerked up. The lines around his mouth that were once tight loosened into his famous lazy smile. "My day is no better or worse than any other." His voice sounded light, but inside he was anything but. "But I am sorry that your day sucks or should I say your life."

"To say my life sucks would be taking it to the extreme," the voice said rising form the chair and turning to face Billy. "I do have an extremely beautiful wife, who loves and adores me."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you had a wife," Billy said. "Who are you married to again?" He asked feigning ignorance.

"Oh come one Billy, I think you know who my wife is."

Billy placed a finger against his chin and pretended to think. "Hmm, does she have blonde hair and blue eyes?"

Nick clenched his fists, that son of bitch. "You know damn well who my wife is." Nick spat taking a step toward Billy, who was standing next to his desk.  

"Oh, are we done with the pretenses already? Come one little Victor, you can do better than this. I can keep this up for hours," Billy said, still smiling. It was taking everything in him to keep his cool, when he wanted to rage at Nick for the way he'd treated Lily. Billy knew it wasn't his place, but that didn't mean he didn't want to knock Nick on his ass. Besides, after last night, he knew that once Nick found out about him and Lily, he'd get the opportunity to do just that. The thought oddly put a bigger smile on his face.

Nick didn't like the way Billy was smiling at him. It was as if he knew something that he didn't. Nick didn't want to think about what that could be at this moment. This meeting between him and Billy was long overdue, and Sharon's reappearance in his life made it extremely necessary. "Billy I know that you like to play the clown, but I haven't been to the circus in years, so let's get straight to the point."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Billy gave an exaggerated sigh. He chose to ignore Nick's jab. It had about as much of an impact as a fly attacking a watermelon.

"I don't know why you returned to town, but whatever the reason, you need to leave my wife out of it."

"And who is your wife again?" Billy held up his hand when Nick made to speak. "Hey, now you never answered the question."

Nick could feel his temper rising. Everything was always a fucking joke to Billy. He was not going to play around with him, especially not when it came to Lily. "Do you have designs on my wife? And let's not pretend that you don't know who she is, but if it will speed this conversation along well then..."

"Is she short, but with long caramel legs that seem to go on for days?" He asked thoughtfully. "Do her eyes change from dark to light depending on her mood, and does her soft curly hair smell like the purest vanilla on the planet?" Billy looked at Nick, whose eyes looked like emeralds. Nick was mad. He was real mad.

"Stay the fuck away from Lily," Nick said through gritted teeth. He wanted to kick Billy's ass, but this wasn't the time or the place. He couldn't believe how Billy had described her. He sounded like a man who knew his wife intimately. Nick had known that Lily wasn't a virgin when they'd married, but he liked to pretend that he was her first, and that Billy didn't count. She had been a child when she and Billy had dated. What did a young teenage girl really know about love?

"Lily," Billy said her name with reverence. "Is she your wife? I didn't think she was married. I can't imagine any man not being available to his wife, whenever she needs him," Billy said, the smile gone from his face. "Every time I saw her, she was either alone, or with CC and Kate."

"Are you trying to steal my wife?"

"It takes more than a certificate from a courthouse to be a husband." Billy said taking a step towards Nick. "But to answer you question. No, I'm not here to steal your wife." He took another step forward. "Lily is not a piece of meat to be stolen. She makes her own decisions. If she leaves you, it will be because she realized that you weren't worthy of her."

"And you think you are, you, the boy who abandoned her?"

"I will never be worthy of her, and yes I was a boy then, a very easily manipulated boy, wasn't I Nick?"

"Very," said Nick with more confidence that he felt. The room was hot. Nick wanted to pull off his tie, and undo the top button on his shirt, but he couldn't. He was so sure that Billy would have never put two and two together, but looking in to his dark blue eyes. Nick knew that he had.

"A twenty-one year old, fresh out of college- a year earlier than he planned- had his entire life a head of him. He hadn't seen very much of the world outside of Genoa City and the walls of his boarding school. He listened to an older man, well not much older, who'd gone away, and experienced the world and all of its delights. He'd had made it all seem like something that men were supposed to do. Especially when you're rich, and the entire world lay panting at your feet. Why settle down in a serious relationship, when you're young, and have yet to taste the exotic part of life." Billy said. "Did I miss something?" he asked Nick, who stared at him in shock. "You're surprised that I remembered. Oh yeah, I remember everything, especially the moment when I realized that my sabbatical was means to an end."

"You chose to leave." Nick said. Billy wasn't going to blame his departure on him. He had enough issues to worry about in his marriage, Billy leaving town was not going to be another.

"And I take full responsibility for it, which is why I haven't told her." Billy said. "I'm sure she would love to know, just how you manipulated yourself into her life, while you pretended that you were such an understanding guy, when the entire time, you were still fucking your ex-girlfriend." There it was, all of it, now it was time to let the cards fall where they may.

Nick's chest tightened. How could Billy know about Sharon? Could he be behind her reappearance in Genoa City? Jabot was in competition for the company a long with Newman. Billy would have to be more involved in Symphonic Smells than either he or anyone else knew, including Jack. No, that didn't make any sense. And yet he knew, deep within his gut that Billy knew Sharon had returned to town. The timing was just too perfect for it to be a coincidence. "You son of a bitch," Nick said taking a step forward. He and Billy were standing two steps away from each other.

"No, I think that would be your son. Sharon is a bitch, but I wouldn't change a thing about her."

"How did you...?" Nick couldn't get the words out. He could feel his world closing in on him with each word Billy spoke.

"Know about Noah? Well, I had my assistant do a thorough research on the company. From your reaction, it's obvious that she did a better job than whoever did Newman's research." It was lie, one that wouldn't hold long, but now wasn't the time. He may have laid the cards on the table, but he'd yet to call out his hand. Billy was going to flush his ass, but he would let Nick pull the handle first.

"What happens between Sharon and I is between the two of us."

"See now that's were you're wrong," Billy said in a low even voice. "It became my business the moment you dragged Lily into the middle of it." He should have said something years ago, but he hadn't, and he hoped that she forgave him for it.

"The issues in my marriage are between me," Nick said pointing at his chest, "and my wife."

Nick's word reminded Billy of the words Lily had spoken to him this morning. As much as it pained Billy to admit it, he knew that they both were right. Fuck, he knew what he was going to have to do. "You're right, it is. I just can't imagine what Lily is going to say, when Sharon tells her." He wouldn't be the bearer of bad news, but Sharon would, if Billy didn't stop her. Sharon would do whatever she wanted to do. Billy trusted her to do her part, and to handle the situation, however she saw fit, after all it was her son, and her revenge.

"Sharon will do whatever I tell her."

Billy laughed. It was a real laugh, god Nick was a tool. "Oh Nick, that's the funniest shit I've heard in years. Sharon will do whatever you tell her?" Billy shook his head and walked around his desk, where he sat in his chair. "Yeah, I suppose you also believe that a three hundred pound man squeezes his ass down a chimney to deliver toys made by elves." Billy chuckled.

Nick slapped his hands down hard on Billy's desk, and leaned forward. "I am not a fucking joke."

"No Nick, just your life, or what's soon to be left of it, after Hurricane Sharon is through with you." Billy said, leaning forward in his chair. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have to make arrangements to leave town."

Nick stood up surprised, "You're...you're leaving town."

"Yes," for a while, Billy added silently. He'd been putting off visiting his other business ventures in order to stay in Lily's orbit. This was the perfect time for him to go away. Lily wanted him to leave and he was going to oblige her. "So get the fuck out my office."

 Nick glared at Billy for a second before turning to leave.

"And as for your earlier question," Billy said, causing Nick stop and turn around. "You wanted to know if I was here to steal your wife." The room was still, the circulating air paused in anticipation for Billy's next words, but he waited a full minute before continuing. "Nick, I can't steal someone, who was never yours to begin with." With that Billy retrieved his silver balls from his pocked with one had, and picked up the phone's receive other.

Nick stood  there for a few seconds. If Billy had looked up, he would have seen the hard look in Nick eyes, before he turned and stormed out of the office.

The minute Billy realized Nick was gone, he sat back and closed his eyes, as the phone rang.

"Billy," said Jemma.

"I need you to make travel arrangements," Billy said, his eyes were still closed, as he thought about his conversation with Lily. He really didn't want to do this, but since she wanted him gone, well then...deuces.

Lily asked him to go. She'd told Billy to leave, and he had. He left, just as she'd asked him to. She should be happy, right? She was happy. Billy had been gone almost a month from her life and...what? She and Nick were still on shaky ground. They hadn't made love since their trip to the Bahamas, and how could they, when he worked late nights, and she slept in their guest bedroom. Not only had she slept in their guest bedroom, she'd gone so far as to move her clothes into the other room. How could she sleep with Nick after sleeping with Billy?

Lily sighed and pressed her forehead against the warm glass of the window in her office. The temperature of the glass was a light reflection of the heat wave that had settled over Genoa City with no signs of letting up. It was only June and the heat was almost unbearable. Lily felt that the sudden heat was a metaphor for her life. As if things were about to get hotter, but how could they? Lily already felt as if her life was simmering in a pot of water just waiting to boil over.  She was going to tell Nick about her and Billy. She had to! She would be twenty-five in three days; it was past time for her to start acting like an adult. Besides, she and Nick would never be able to move on until she came clean, but that was better said than done, since her heart ached in a way that it hadn't in seven years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seven Years Ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Billy," Lily said as ran forward to launch herself in his arms. "Can you believe it? I'm finally finished." She smiled up into his blue eyes.

"Yeah, you are," he said. His arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Ouch, you're going to squeeze the life out of me."

"Sorry," he said as he sat her back on the ground.

"I was only joking. Why are you being so serious?" Lily looked up at Billy quizzically, there was something off about him, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.  Maybe he was relieved that she was finally out of school and almost legal. She knew it couldn't have been easy being twenty-one, while dating a girl in high school, who had yet to turn eighteen. He had never said anything about it, but she knew that it must bother him. She'd brought it up only once, since he'd turned twenty-one this past March. They were only a little over three years apart in age, but twenty-one seemed so far from seventeen. She was thankful t that her parents had gotten over their age difference two years ago, even if that didn't stop her Mother from giving Billy the occasional side eye.  

"I'm not.  I'm just...taking it all in." Billy said trying to smile down at her, but finding it difficult. They needed to talk. He needed to tell her of his decision to leave town, but how could he, when she staring at him with such love in her eyes. God he loved her. He loved her so much, but he needed to move on. He had to spread his wings, to see what else was out there, before he settled down with one person, even if she was the most important person in his life.

"It's hard to believe isn't it? I am officially out of high school, I‘ll be starting college in the fall, and I will be eighteen in three very short weeks. It's as if everything is falling in line for us." Lily said and grabbed his hand.

"I love you," Billy said giving her hand a light squeeze as he led her to the car.

Lily's family had already given her hugs and congratulatory kisses, while Billy had stood to the side and waited for her to be free. They'd arranged it before hand, so that she could spend time with Billy afterwards and he would drive her to the huge celebration dinner they were having in her honor at Gina's.

"Are you ready to party?" Billy asked trying to put on good face.

"Yes, I think tonight is the start of something new." Lily said before sliding into the Porsche.

***

Lily was happy that the dinner party would be coming to a close soon. She wanted to spend time with Billy, but that had been hard since just about everyone had insisted on talking to her. They wanted to know her plans for the future, as if they hadn't asked her this a hundred times before. She was going to school for business and perhaps accounting, which most people found boring, but she liked numbers and it was great field to enter.  It was very important that she chose a good field, and although she wouldn't major in accounting, it never hurt to take a few extra classes, perhaps even minor it.

"Now why are you sitting here all alone?"

Lily looked up and smiled at her visitor. "Hi Nick. Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome. Is this seat taken?" He asked, and sat down after she shook her head no.

She'd glanced around for Billy, but she didn't see him. Weird, where was he?

"Are you excited about starting a new chapter in your life?"

Lily smiled brilliantly at him. "Yes, I will finally get to move out of the house. Tracy has arranged it so that Colleen and I will be roommates."

"That's great. I didn't have a roommate when I was in college."

"Oh," she asked with a frown. "Well, why not?"

"I didn't want one. I'm a pretty private person." He said staring into her lovely innocent brown eyes. Nick had only recently realized how beautiful Lily was. It was the oddest thing, one day after having a terrible fight with Sharon. He'd gone to Newman with the intention of throwing himself into work, when he'd run into Lily, who was visiting Neil at the office. He'd been angry and extremely frustrated, until she looked up at him with those big beautiful brown eyes. He was captivated by their kind and gentleness. She'd smiled, and asked how he was. He'd told her that he was okay, and at the moment, he was. It was as if her smile and her eyes made it okay. She made everything okay. He had never really looked at Lily before, because well, she was a kid. Or at least that's what he'd thought until he got a good look at her, and saw that she was very much a young woman, a beautiful and sexy young woman.

Originally he'd been ashamed of himself. He'd even written of their encounter, but days had passed and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. He hadn't planned on doing anything about his slight infatuation, until he saw her with Billy. He didn't know why, but he began to hate Billy. Billy, who was such an arrogant ass, was smiling like a happy fool. His arm was around her waist and Nick had the urge to break every bone in it. He didn't like Billy touching her. His dislike of Billy had pushed him to find different ways to see her, without making it obvious he had thing for her. During those first few weeks, Nick had come to the realization that he didn't like men touching her. He wanted her. He wanted Lily all to himself. He no longer wanted the drama that Sharon brought into his life. He liked fucking her, but that was all. He was sick of the games, sick of being manipulated.  He wanted...he wanted something more, with someone who wouldn't play games, someone who would give herself completely, and he knew, without a shadow of doubt that that someone was Lily Winters.  

"Nick," Lily said snapping him out of his musings.

"Sorry, I was thinking about business. What did you say?"

"I said that you must have had somewhere better to be than at my graduation party."

"And why is that? Why would I want to be anywhere else? Lily our families have been connected for years. My parents aren't here just because Neil is an employee at Newman. He's my father's friend and right hand man. And...you and I are friends?"

Lily blinked, this was news to her. She knew Nick, but she had never really thought of him as a friend.

As if reading her thought Nick added, "Perhaps that was bit much. What I meant is that I hope that we can be friends." He held his breath in anticipation of her answer.

She bit her lip, looking over his shoulder, she still didn't see Billy.

"I think he stepped outside." Nick said. He was annoyed that she was looking for Billy, but he didn't let it show.

Lily jumped, "Oh," she flushed, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he said and reached to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ears that had fallen forward, when she'd started.  Her skin was as soft as he'd imagined. God he shouldn't want her, she wasn't legal...yet.  Three weeks, he only had to wait three weeks, before he could move in. Well maybe a little longer all things considered. She would soon need a good friend and he would be there for her. "So?" he asked again.

"So what," she asked. "I'm sorry I wasn't..." She trailed off and Nick watched as a huge smile spread across her face. He didn't have to ask why she was smiling, he already knew.

"I take it you see Billy."

"Yes," she said still smiling at his approach.

"Well then I better take off."

"You don't have to," she asked looking slightly embarrassed.

"No, it's fine. I have somewhere else to be." He stood up and she followed. "Congratulations," Nick said before turning away.

Lily watched as he left, and then turned back to face Billy. She hoped that she hadn't been rude that wasn't her intention. She just wanted to spend the rest of the night with Billy. Kate liked to joke that she had stars in her eyes when it came to Billy that blinded her to everyone and everything but him. She also said the same about Billy, when it came to her, so Lily didn't feel too bad about it. Lily and Billy fit, it was just the way it was and everyone knew it. Lily loved him and he loved her. It hadn't always been easy, but once her parents realized that being young didn't mean that a person didn't know their own heart. Who says that you have to be a certain age to really know what love is? You not may be quite ready for marriage, but that doesn't mean that you aren't ready for love.  

"What did he want?" asked Billy upon his approach. He felt slightly anxious for her answer. Nick wouldn't have told her? But what could he have told her, it wasn't as if he knew anything?

"He just wanted to congratulate me."

"Oh, well are you ready to leave?"

"Yes, I am past ready to leave."

"Okay then," Billy said and waited near the door, while she gathered her belongings and said goodbye. He'd been avoiding her all night. There was no way that he could have stood next to her the entire evening all the while knowing that he was going to break her heart. Billy didn't want to hurt Lily, but there wasn't much he could do.  He had to do this for himself. He had to do this for them. He never wanted to regret not seeing the world, and he would if he stayed here and settled into a life of domestic bliss with her.

***

"This is my house," Lily said as they drove up the long driveway. "I thought we would go somewhere else. I knew we weren't going to the field, but I..." she said coyly, "I thought we would go somewhere to be alone." Lily and Billy had only been sexually active for about a bout a year. She'd waited until she was certain that she was ready, and he'd never once pushed her to take it to another level.

"I know," was all he said, as he maneuvered the car off to the side of the house where one of three gazebos on the property was located. "Let's go sit on the swing." He got out the car, walked around to the side and helped her out.

Lily followed him in silence. She didn't like this. She didn't know why, but she didn't want to go with him to the gazebo. "I'm tired. I think I should go inside and get some sleep."

Billy stopped, on a flat stone and pulled her into his arms. He sighed, when he felt her arms around him. He placed a kiss on her forehead, and made to move away, but stopped when she spoke, with her arms still locked around his waist.

"What's wrong?" She looked up at him with worried eyes. "Did my graduation bring up memories of your father?"

Billy felt a fresh stab of pain at the mention of his father. The wound was still somewhat fresh. His father, John Abbott, had died less than a year ago. "No," He answered in a slightly roughened voice.

"Okay," she said loosening her grip and stepping back. "Then what is it? You've seemed off today."

"Let's go to the gazebo," he said reaching for her hand.

"Why can't you tell me here?"  She said letting him lead her to the first step, but she didn't go any further.

"I don't know," he said running a hand through his hair.

Lily didn't say a word. She didn't know what to say. Billy looked lost and yet as much as she wanted to help him, some part of her felt that she would be the one who needed the help.

"I don't know how to say this." Billy ran a finger down her cheek.

Lily shivered at the feel his soft skin against hers. The night was warm, but she began to feel cold as Billy stared down at her with a look of complete and utter sadness. "Billy what's wrong?" she moved to stand on the first step next to him, but he moved down to take her place, so that she was now staring down at him.

"I'm leaving Genoa City."

"Wha- what do you mean? Are you going on a trip?" She asked, hope coloring her voice. This was silly. Billy was probably nervous about telling her that he couldn't spend all of the summer with her. That's was all.

"Yes, I'm going on a trip."

"Oh," she sighed in relief. See she was being silly.  Billy was only going on a trip. "Where are you going?"

"Greece," he said somewhat hesitantly. He really wasn't sure exactly where he was going. Europe was his first destination and from there, he would take it once continent at a time.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," he said and waited for her reaction.

"Tomorrow, Billy you're leaving tomorrow to go to Greece and you're only just now telling me this?" Her usually almond shaped eyes were now round, and filled with shock. "Well, when are you coming back?"

"I don't know," he mumbled.

Lily was sure that he hadn't said what she thought he'd said. Her heart was heavy and her palms felt damp. "Did...did you-no," she shook her vigorously.

"Lily," Billy said placing his hands on her shoulder to stop her. "TL, I'm sorry.

Lily blinked several times, and looked up at the white ceiling of the gazebo. This wasn't happening. "Why are you sorry?" she croaked, attempting to blink away the tears.

"That I'm only just now telling you this."

"But what exactly are you telling me," she said finally looking at him.

Billy was sure someone was anchoring his heart down at the moment, because the pain in her eyes was pulling his heart down with her. "I need to go away for a while. I need," he swallowed trying to find the right words. "I need to go out into the world and experience life. There is so much that I have never seen and I want to experience it all while I'm still young."

"I...I can go with you," she said. "I'm almost eighteen, you could hold off a few weeks and I can go with you."

"No love, you can't."

"Why," she asked in small voice. "You don't love me anymore?"

"No, that's not it. I still love you. My loving you has nothing to do with it. I just." Billy stopped and ran frustrated hand through his hair. "Lily I love you, please never doubt that, but we've been together for three years. There is so much that neither of us has experience. Things that I want to experience and someday there will be thing that you want to experience too.

"No Billy," she said shaking her head. "No! I want you. You are the only one I want. I'm never going to look back and think that I missed out on something, because you will be with me. "

"Lily you don't know that. You're seventeen! Maybe in three years, when you're twenty-one, you will want to have known what it was like to be with someone else."

"You said that this was about experience. Yes, someday I want to visit different countries and learn about other cultures from more than a book, but I don't want to be with anyone else, and that will never change." Lily felt as if the ground was moving and everything around her was about to shift and reform. She didn't want things to reform. She wanted them to stay the same. "Billy I thought that you felt the same way, but you want to be with other girls."

"Lily it's not that. I just don't want to worry about doing something that would hurt you, by trying to walk a fine line. I'm a young man. There will be temptations everywhere and I don't ever want to cheat on you. You don't deserve that."

She wanted to argue with him. She wanted to tell that he didn't have to go alone, but he had already made up his mind. "How long have you known that you were going to break up with me?"

He looked away, "I've been thinking about it for a while now, but I only finalized my plans three weeks ago.

She swallowed. "That long, and you're just now telling me."

He turned back, "I'm selfish." He reached out and captured her face between his hands. "I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.  I wanted to cherish every last moment with you. I know that I'm hurting you. Baby this is the last thing that I wanted to do. I love you so much." He said and did what he hadn't planned, he kissed her, hard.

Lily held on to Billy as if he were a life line. Her lips moved against his in a feverish battle of wills. She used her tongue, her body and her mind to will him to stay and to will him not to forget her when he was gone. She pressed herself against him, and moaned when she felt his body rub against hers. Billy growled low in his throat as his tongue moved against hers. One hand cupped her face, while the other ran through her long curly locks. The tantalizing scent of freesia and other floral scents were over powered by the sweet vanilla scent of her hair. Billy knew that no matter where he went the smell of vanilla would always remind him of her, his home. Lily was his home. Billy knew that after his father's death that she was the only true home left for him. They say home is where the heart is. Well, he would be leaving his heart with her, because there was nowhere else he'd want it to be.

Slowly and regretfully he pulled away, subsequently ending their heated kiss.

The sound of their ragged breathing blended with the sounds of the night. They stared at each other for a long moment, each committing the other to memory, her eyes, his smile, her lips, his eyes, her hair, his laugh, her strength, his character.

"I will come back," he said in a hoarse voice. He knew that would return, if for no other reason than to take her away with him.

"You promise." She sniffed.  

"Yes."

"When?"

Billy thought for a second before speaking. An image of her and Nick popped into his head, but she shook it away.  No, she was too young for Nick, but not for Daniel or many other guys. She would be at college and some else would see just how wonderful she was and... He couldn't finish the thought. The very idea made him queasy, and yet he knew he couldn't ask her to wait for him. "Two years, at the very least.

"She gasped, "Two...two years? Are you asking me to wait for you?"

"No," he said, unconvincingly. Fuck he was selfish. "I can't ask you that," As much as I want to. "I promise you that I will return.  And...and I will write to you."

Lily knew that she should feel slightly better. Billy said that he loved her, and that he would return home, but she knew that things would never be the same after this night. They wouldn't be a couple. "But you're still breaking up with me," She whispered, just so that there was no confusion between them.

"Yes," he said, sliding the hand that had been cupping her cheek down her face, before stepping away. "Yes," he said in hoarse voice. He blinked several times to staunch the tears gathering behind his eyes. He sniffed. "But that," he cleared his throat, as a single tear slid from eyes, "that doesn't mean that I don't love you." He stared at her, the light blue dress she wore swayed lightly in the wind, as she stood silently on the first step of the gazebo, one hand on the banister the other clutched in a fist at her side, as tears poured without restraint from her eyes.

Billy stared until he began to feel numb, and then turned away, got into this car and never looked back.

~~~~~Present~~~~~~~~~

Lily wasn't sure how she'd made it through the first few weeks. He eighteenth birthday hadn't been the exciting event that she had anticipated it would be. Her mother had planned a huge party, but had cancelled it at her request. Instead of celebrating in Genoa City, Lily and her mother had gone to South Beach, where they had met up with her aunt Olivia. Colleen and Kate had flown in from New York. Kate was staying there on her summer break, while Colleen had gone to visit Tracy. They'd all tried to cheer her up, but to no avail.

Lily couldn't honestly remember, when she'd finally come out of her funk. It had been a slow progress, but after he'd failed to write her a single letter, she'd decided that enough was enough. He'd obviously lied to her and had moved on with his life, so she would do the same.

"I never asked him why he hadn't written." Lily said aloud the empty office. "And now it's too late." It was always too late. She shook herself. Why was she feeling like this? He'd left this time, because she told him to. This was what she wanted, or at least what she thought she did. She wasn't sure anymore. She wasn't sure about her feelings for Billy; everything felt so confusing. She knew she loved him, but was it real love? Did she even know the man she was in love with? Did she know either of the men she loved? She knew she still loved Nick, but she could honestly say she wasn't in love with him. And she wasn't sure if Billy's return was the reason, or if she'd always felt that way. And Billy, did she love Billy or was she confusing him with her fist love, who wasn't the man who'd returned the Genoa City? Or was he?

Lily had a hundred questions. Almost four weeks had passed, and she still didn't have answers to all of them. The only thing she knew for certain, was that she and Nick had to talk, the sooner the better. Having made her decision Lily grabbed her purse and headed for the door. She would call Nick, and tell him that they needed to talk...tonight.

***

Lily stopped by Crimson Lights on the way home to grab a cup of coffee. She had just gotten her change from the cashier, when a female voice spoke to her.

"Lily, look at you, all grown up."

Lily turned to see a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes smiling at her. She knew the face, but she couldn't quite remember the name.

"Oh, come on, it's only been five years."

Lily searched her brain and finally came up with a name. She frowned.

"Ah see, you do remember me."

"Sharon," Lily said coolly. It was odd, she didn't feel the anger that she used to feel whenever Sharon's name was mentioned. Could Billy have something to do with that?  She still couldn't stand her, but after her own indiscretion, how could she hold her nose up in the air? Nick had had an affair with Sharon doing the earlier part of their courtship. Lily had discovered the truth, when she'd gone to New York to surprise Nick, but she had been the one who was surprised. At the time, Lily had sort of understood, it wasn't as if she and Nick had been intimate. They'd only been dating for three months. Lily had broken it off, before returning to Genoa City. She hadn't felt heartbroken, just an acute case of embarrassment and a simmering anger. Nick had followed her back, and told her everything, they'd made up.

"I didn't know that you were back in Genoa City."

"Yes, I'm here on business. Your husband didn't tell you?" Sharon asked, enjoying the look of surprise that tidbit garnered. This was too easy. Sharon really didn't understand what a man like Billy wanted with someone as mousy as Lily.

"I trust my husband," Lily said wanting to choke on the words. Was Sharon the reason he'd been M.I.A.? Was Nick having an affair? Lily was worried about telling him about her and Billy, when it was possible that Nick had his own indiscretion to hide.

"I didn't say that you didn't, but," she gave a dramatic sigh, and grabbed her coffee of the counter. "After the unfortunate misunderstanding that happened last time, I was sure that Nick would have told you the minute he saw me." She took a sip of her coffee, "But I guess not."

"Sharon, Nick told me that you like to play games, and while I'm sure that you're good at them." Lily stepped forward, "I am better." Lily stepped around Sharon, leaving the blonde smiling after heer. Lily really wasn't violent, but she wanted to turn around slap the bitch.  

Yes, thought Lily, she and Nick needed to talk, and they needed to talk, yesterday.

***

Sharon watched as Lily made her way out the door, while pressing two on her speed dial.

"Yes,"

"Someone is in a bad mood." Sharon purred.  "Are you missing your little tiger, because I think she misses you."

"Spill it," said Billy.

"I just saw her at Crimson Lights, and your little tiger has claws. I was very impressed."

"You should never under estimate TL. She's not the CEO of a magazine empire just because her mother left her the company."

"Really? I was certain that that was the exact reason."  Sharon said sounding somewhat bitter. Her mother wouldn't have anything to leave her when she died, that Sharon hadn't paid for. Noah would not have that problem. Her son was a Newman and it was past time that everyone knew, especially his step mommy.

"Don't do anything rash," Billy warned. He could taste Sharon's bitterness in the air like a gas seeping through his phone.

"Now what could I do that would be rash?" She asked innocently. Oh I don't know, push Nick into a corner. She smiled, yeah something like that.

"Sharon, don't fuck this up. I left town, because she asked me to. Lily was right. She and Nick's marriage will end on its own. You came to town, and you're doing your part just by being there. Don't see Nick alone, at least not for a couple of weeks.

"And what if I don't want to wait a few weeks? I haven't seen Nick in almost a month." She said getting angry. Who the hell did Billy Abbott think he was? It wasn't as if she needed his money. He'd purchased her share of Symphonic Smells, and now she had a nice comfortable nest egg that she could live of off for the rest of her life, but what she didn't have was the respectability that came along with the Newman name. She knew she would never marry Nick. He was weak and beneath her, but her son would carry the Newman name. Noah deserved everything that came along with that honor, and Sharon was going to make damn sure he got it. "I have to go," she said abruptly.

Billy sighed, he knew it was pointless to say anything else, but he would try. He was so sure, after she asked him to leave that he wanted Lily to go through the reveal alone, but now that they'd been apart, he wasn't so sure anymore. He'd done a lot of thinking and he needed to talk to her. Yes, she'd been a bitch the last time he'd seen her, but that didn't mean he wanted her to get hurt, especially not from something that was partially his fault. He would leave tomorrow, but he had a very important meeting scheduled. Hell, he had several meetings within the coming weeks. He wouldn't be able to get away for at least two to three weeks. He was in the process taking Symphonic Smells global. At the moment there were five stores in the United States; New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, South Beach and Atlanta each boasted a store.

Billy had been in negotiations to open stores in London, Edinburgh, and Paris. The deal had been up in the air until he'd told Jack the truth about his involvement with Symphonic Smells. To say his brother hadn't been pleased was an understatement. Jack felt betrayed, but it hadn't lasted long after Billy laid out his idea to make Jabot the exclusive distributor. Jack was a business man first. He realized that there was still a large amount of money to be made by distributing the product. Jack was here in London, so even if he'd wanted, Billy knew he couldn't leave, or Jack was sure to never forgive him.   

"I'll be back in a few weeks."

"I know, and I will see you then."

"Sharon," Billy said a warning in his voice.

"Kisses," she said, before ending the call. She walked through the small café, ignoring the looks from the men who ogled her goodies as she passed them. She didn't have time to play coy or even stop to flirt. She pushed the patio doors open with one hand, while sliding on her Prada shades with the other. "Newman Enterprises," she said to her driver- who held opened the car door for her- before sliding in and relaxing against the leather seat. "Don't worry Billy. You can pick up whatever is left of your little tiger, after I'm done with Nick, who is going to wreck his world... and hers. "

"Nick we need to talk." Those words had been on Nicks mind since the moment he'd gotten off the phone with Lily. It had been a month since their last conversation, or should he say argument, and he missed his wife. He missed her more than he ever thought possible. He'd known he loved her, but it hadn't dawned on him just how much, until he realized that he could really lose her. He didn't want to lose his wife. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he'd taken her for granted. He'd been played, and played well. Billy had known that he would put business before Lily, so he'd used that as a way to deepen the chasm that had already sprung up between them.

Nick ran a hand through his hair. Billy had known about Sharon and Noah and yet he hadn't told Lily. He wanted her to find out, but he hadn't told her. Nick should have told her, he should have told her everything before they were married, but was a coward. So now here he was, here in a hospital room, looking down at his wife, who lay still with her back to him. How had it gotten to this point?

"Please talk to me," Nick said to her back. It wasn't the first time he'd said the words, but they fell on deaf ears. He knew she was awake, because she'd been talking to Neil before he entered the room.  

Silence.

He sighed, "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Without warning she turned around to face him, tears filling her eyes, "No, you're sorry you got caught.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~About Twenty-four hours ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Lily knew she should have told Nick she was coming to Newman, but she'd been too distracted to call. Her conversation with Sharon kept replaying itself in her mind. She felt like she was missing something, but she didn't know what. Was Nick having an affair with Sharon? The crafty look in her eyes and her smug tone where enough to raise a red flag. Lily just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something going on between Sharon and her husband, but the worst part, was that she wasn't sure how much she cared. And did she even have the right to care after she'd slept with Billy?

Shaking the thought from her head, she stepped off the elevator when the door opened, and walked toward Nick's office.

***

"I thought you left town."

"Now why would I do that when we have so much to discuss?" Sharon said, as she walked toward Nick's desk. "You and I have some unfinished business."

Nick stared at her. His green eyes took in the tight pale blue sheath she wore that molded to her womanly curves in a way that made his manhood twitch. "We don't have shit to discuss."

"Our son isn't shit."  

Nick stood at her words, "So now you want to get down to it."

"I should have gotten to it the moment I came to town, but I wanted to see if you would come clean with the little lady, but you haven't. You didn't even tell her I was here," she said, standing in front of his desk, a clutch in one hand, the other on her hip.

"How do you," he paused taken aback by her previous statement. He didn't want her to know she'd caught him off guard.

"How do I know you haven't told her I was in town?" she asked. "Well, I saw her in Crimson Lights, and I must say she's grown up to be a lovely young woman. You must be so proud. It's too bad you're no more than a cheap corner store knockoff, with crooked seams that will always remind her you are not the real thing."

"Shut the fuck up. You don't know shit about my marriage," he said, seeing red at her words.

"I know enough," she replied with a toss of her hair.

 He moved around the desk and invaded her personal space. "I don't know what you think you know, but..."

Staring up at him she scoffed, "Are you really trying to intimidate me with your height?" She stepped closer, "Because I can assure, I've gone up against bigger men than you, and they all ended up kissing my ass." She watched amused as he fidgeted at her close proximity. "Literally."

"You're such a whore."

She tsked, "Now is that the way to speak to the mother of your son."

Nick started to speak, but stopped. He wasn't going to beat around the bush, and pretend he didn't know what this was about. Sharon only wanted one thing, the thing she always wanted. "My father gave you enough money when you told him about...your situation. It's not my fault you didn't spend it wisely."

Nick watched as her face turned two shades red.

"You son of a bitch," she said. "My problem? Nick, really? So I guess I fucked myself." 

"How much do you want?" he said, ignoring her outburst. He didn't have time to deal with her dramatics. 

"You gonna go get daddy to pull out his check book, in order to make our," she accented the word, "problem go away."

Nick cracked his neck, his hands where clenched into fists at his side. He'd never hit a woman, and he probably never would, but that didn't mean he wouldn't choke the shit out of her.

"Well guess what? I don't want your money. I have my own.  You see I spent daddy's money quite wisely. And it also doesn't hurt that I just made a killing from selling my cosmetics company sooo...you can take your daddy's checkbook and shove it up your ass."

"What do you want?" he ground out.

"What I can't buy for Noah, a name." She said and stepped closer. "I want my son to take his rightful place in the Newman fold."

Nick stared at her. She thought to shock him, but he'd always known this day would come. The day that he would have to tell Lily the truth, because he'd known after Sharon left town, she wouldn't be satisfied with just the money. Fuck!  He'd hoped he and Lily would have already started a family, before she returned. That they would be in a good place, but no, they were farther apart than they'd ever been. Nick had been so certain that when this day arrived, he would tell his wife, and they would agree that Sharon was unstable, and decide to raise Noah together. Shit!   

Sharon stared at him. She could see the wheels turning in his head, but there was nowhere to go, and they both knew it. "Think fast Nicholas, and think hard, but no matter what you think of, soon, and I mean within twenty four hours, the entire world is going to know that you have son."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm promising you," she started to leave, but came up short when Nick reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Don't push me Sharon," he growled in a low voice, "You really don't want to push me."

"Let go," she said, trying to pull out of the iron grip he had on her arm.

Nick tightened his hold. "You want to fuck with me Sharon?" he asked, pulling her closer. He smirked when she stumbled forward and her body crashed into his. He took his free hand and wound it in her hair.

"Let go of me," she said, her breath coming faster.

 "Why? I know how you like rough," he said, and used her hair to tilt her head back so she could look him the eye. "You want me to claim Noah? Fine, I will. But know this," he said, his face close to hers.

He could feel her tremble beneath his touch and knew she was angry, scared, and turned on. Sharon was a twisted bitch and he used to enjoy her, but not anymore. She thought he was the same naïve eighteen-year-old she first met, but she was sadly mistaken.

"The moment I claim Noah as my son, is the moment you lose him as yours."

"What?" she asked staring into the green twin flames of his eyes.

"If Noah is going to take my name, then he can't have a whore like you for a mother."

"You," Sharon said between gritted teeth, "You will not take my son."

"Oh," he gave her hair a yank and smiled when her eyes grew wide and her body jerked against his. Her large breast rubbed against the white oxford shirt he wore. He started to get hard. "But I thought he was my son.  Isn't that why you're here? You want me to claim Noah, and I'm willing to, but on my terms."

"I will not," she started, but froze when the hand that was on her arm moved to press lightly against the column of her neck.

"Who are you Sharon? Do you really think any judge will give you custody over me?"

Sharon felt hot. Her body was burning, and it didn't hurt that she could feel his hardness pressed against her belly. She wasn't surprised that he was turned on. Nick had always enjoyed a little S&M, because she'd taught him to enjoy it. She'd witnessed Nick's dark side, the side she knew he hid from Lily, but this...this was something else. He wasn't just turned on, he was angry. And Sharon knew from experience, S&M and anger were a volatile cocktail, because it could go too far and someone could really get hurt.

"Nick," she licked her lips, "Let. Me. Go."

"Now why would I do that?"He asked. "You came into my office. I didn't invite you. You laid down your cards and I chose to pick them up, and now you want me to let you go? Why Sharon, why should I," he bent forward and ran his tongue over her ear, "Let you go?" He smiled as he felt the ripple of pleasure go through her.

"I don't want this," she was slightly breathless.

"You do, Sharon you really do."

"No, I don't," she said.

"Then why the fuck did you come here?"

"I want Noah to be recognized as a Newman. I want," She said and blinked. Her breath started to come faster and she could feel tears gathering behind her eyes. "I want you to claim our son, I want you to give him," she blinked once as an errant tear slid from her right eye. "I want you to give him what I never had." A father, she finished in her head.

Nick was about to speak, when he heard someone gasp. His eyes flew to the door where Lily stood with on hand over her mouth. "Li...Lily," Nick said extracting himself from Sharon. "Lily I..." He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what she'd heard. He watched as she stood in the door looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"How," she began.

"Lily, it's not..." Nick took a step towards her. "It's not what you think," he said as he continued to walk forward, leaving Sharon blinking back tears. Nick didn't care about Sharon or her false tears. He only cared about the woman in front of him. The woman he'd realized too late, he loved more than anything in the world, even Newman.

"Stop," she said.

"Lily," he said, still moving.

"I said stop," her voice cracked.

He stopped. "How much did you hear?"

"Oh Nick," she said, raising a hand to her chest. She couldn't have just heard what she heard. She walked up to the office and heard angry voices. Nick was one of the voices, but she wasn't sure who the other one belonged to until she peaked in the door to see them standing close. Her heart began beating wildly when she saw Sharon, and she was sure that her earlier assumption was right. She was about to leave when she heard the words my son, which froze her to the spot. She watched Nick yank Sharon forward and touch her in a way he'd never displayed with her. She'd watched as long as she could, before turning away, but she ended up speaking instead. Lily felt as if someone had knocked the breath from her body. She couldn't breathe. She had to get out of there.

"Oh God Nick how could you?"

"Lily..."

"A son," she said, the word barely above a whisper. "You have a son, a son who you denied." This can't be happening. "Nick, how...how could you deny your own child?" This was the worst part. She could deal with his cheating, she had no room to talk, but how could she be married to a man who would turns his back on his only child? Lily felt like she was staring at a stranger.

"Baby let me explain," he pleaded.

"You can't explain this," she said. "You can't explain to me how you could turn your back on your own child." Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to get her breathing under control. She looked past Nick to Sharon, who was still standing near his desk. "How old is he?"

"Lily..."

"How old is he?"

"Five," Sharon answered without pause.
"Oh my," Lily blinked several times, her chest felt like it was about to cave in on itself. "Oh my God," she said, shaking her head as tears streamed down her face. "No...No, Nick no, tell me this isn't true."

Nick could feel his world tilt as the life that he'd built with Lily began to crumble into dust. "I," he began, but stopped. He couldn't lie to her. Staring into her eyes, he said the only thing he could, "I'm sorry."  He made to move forward, but she turned and ran.

Lily felt like she was going to be sick as ran down the executive hallway of Newman Enterprises. She could hear Nick calling after her, but she didn't stop until she got to the elevators. She pressed the down button over and over again in hopes that the elevator would move faster.  Her heart was pounding in her chest, while tears streamed from her eyes.

"Lily," Nick called. She could hear his shoes on the hardwood floor. "Lily please, let me explain."

Lily looked over her shoulder at him; he was bearing down on her. She couldn't...she couldn't' talk to him. She looked up at the panel above elevator doors; the lift was still eight floors away. She turned to the left and spotting the staircase, she moved toward it.

"Lily," Nick said, finally at the bank of elevators. "Please."

"Nick leave me alone," she said, and opened the door to the stairway.

"No," he said following behind her, "Dammit let me explain." He grabbed her arm and tried to yank her to him, but she pulled away.

"No, Nick, I'm done, we are done."

"No the fuck we're not, "He yelled and grabbed her arm again.

"Nick let go," she pulled, but he held her tight.

"We are not done." His voice reverberated around the stairwell. "You are mine, you are my wife. I am not going to let you run off to him."

"Let me go," she said, trying to yank her arm out of grip. She reached for the arm rail with her free hand for leverage.

Nick tightened his hold on her arm, and tried to pull her in, but couldn't because of the grip she had on the arm rail. "This is not over," he said, pulling her in, and just as suddenly he let her go with enough force that she lost her footing and fell down the stairway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Present~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lily," Nick said, "Please let me explain."

She stared at him, but didn't reply. She wasn't sure if she knew what to say. She was so confused. It had been almost twenty-four hours since her fall. She'd been in an out of consciousness all night. She hurt. Her head hurt, her body hurt, and her heart hurt. She felt sore inside and out. She wanted to take something strong to make it go away, but her doctor wouldn't give her anything stronger than the meds she was on.

She wanted it all to go away. She wanted to go back to the day she agreed to marry Nick, and tell him the truth. The truth that she felt the moment he'd asked her. That she wasn't ready to get married, and she wasn't over Billy. Sadly, if she'd only told him- instead of burying her emotions down into the cavern of her mind so that she couldn't feel them- none of this would have happened, and Nick wouldn't have abandoned his son. At least she hoped he wouldn't have.

"Lily, please say something."

"What is his name?" she asked. She'd heard them say a male name, but she couldn't remember what it was. She wanted to know the little boy's name, so it would be real for her. It wouldn't truly be real until he had a name.

"Lily..."

"What is your son's name?"

Nick didn't want to tell her, she needed to let him explain, but he could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn't going to be moved from this course no matter how much he wanted it.

"His name is Noah."

"Have you ever seen him?" she asked, wanting to know. She needed to know. Oh God she hurt.

"Only once," he said, and Lily watched as his eyes took on a faraway look. "Sharon sent me a picture of him after he was born, but that was it."

"Did you ever want to see him?"

Lily waited for his answer. She could tell he was trying to figure out what she wanted to hear.

"Yes, and no. In the beginning I wanted to see him. I wanted to be a part of his life, but I knew, or at least I thought," he ran a hand through his hair, "I thought I would lose you if-"

"No," she said firmly. "Don't you dare you use me as an excuse."

"What else do you want me to say?" he asked, and went on when she didn't respond. "I loved you, and I didn't want to lose you. You were, you are one of the best things to ever happen to me." He reached for her hand, which lay palm down on the bed, but she moved it out of his reach. "Sweetheart, I am so sorry that I've hurt you, and I'm so sorry that," he trailed off.

His chest constricted as he looked from the large purple bruise on the right side of her forehead, to the ones that marred her arms. There were others he couldn't see, because of the white sheet that covered her. But those bruises were nothing compared to the gash she had at the nape of her neck, that required five stitches to close.

Lily watched Nick scan her face and arms. She could see the anguish, and self loathing in his eyes as he looked at her. She knew he blamed himself for her fall, and no matter how angry and disappointed she was, she didn't want him to blame himself for something that was no more than an accident.

"Nick don't," she said. "This wasn't your fault."

He shook his head sadly, "It was my fault, if I hadn't grabbed you, if I hadn't let you go so hastily, or if I'd had quicker reflexes-"

"Nick, this was an accident, there are plenty of things that you can blame yourself for, but this isn't one of them."

This, this was why he loved her. He'd broken her heart, and her trust in him, yet she lay in a hospital bed trying to make him feel better, when only her forgiveness would do that. He needed her. It had taken him too long to realize the depths of his love for her. The fear of losing her caused him make some stupid decisions, and now he had to live with the consequences. He couldn't lose her, not now, especially not after they'd finally accomplished what he'd always wanted.

"How are you feeling?"

She knew what he was asking, and she didn't want to talk about it. She couldn't talk about it. Lily blinked. She could feel the unwanted tears coming.

"I'm in pain. My body aches, my head hurts, and my heart feels as if it's been ripped out of my chest. You already know how I feel," she said angrily. "So why are you asking me this?"

Nick didn't know what to say, but they had to talk about it. They had to discuss the situation. He felt as if the room was holding its breath waiting for this moment, or maybe it was just him. It was their second chance, and he wasn't going to let her pretend that they didn't have one.

"Lily, I know you're hurting," he let out a harsh breath. "Hell, I know that I'm one of the main reasons you're feeling this way, but we need to talk about it."

"There isn't anything to about," she said and turned away from him.

"How can you say that," he put a hand on her shoulder to turn her back to him.

"Nick please. I don't want to discuss this, and neither do you." She wasn't ready. She needed time to come to grips with everything, and she knew if he continued to push her, he would soon live to regret it.

"Dammit Lily," Nick said frustrated. "I know I hurt you, and I know that you're angry with me, but we cannot just sweep this under the rug." He reached out and touched her shoulder again, "I know this is a surprise, but we need to talk about the baby."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~London: 12 hours after the incident~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jemma," Billy called to his assistant as he walked out of the door of his London office. "I need you to call Matthew and tell him to have the jet ready to leave for Genoa City as soon as possible.

"Yes sir," Jemma said as she watched her boss's retreating form. She could tell that something was wrong. She'd worked closely with Billy for five years, so she knew his moods better than most and she knew that something was wrong.  She'd heard him on the phone only minutes ago and now he was ready leave for Genoa City? Jemma wanted to know what had happened to change is mood, but she would never ask. She knew his moods, she'd seen all of them, and she could tell by the set of his shoulders that something was very wrong. But strangely, she couldn't tell exactly what he was feeling, because she'd never seen him this way before.  Jemma wasn't sure if he was angry, scared or maybe even both. She only hoped everything would be okay.

***

Billy couldn't breathe. His chest felt tight and he was sure that if someone said the wrong thing to him, he might hit them. He was angry, frustrated, and sacred, three emotions that were practically foreign to him. He knew the emotions. He'd experienced them all at one time or another and each time had involved one particular person.  Lily.

He clinched his fist as his chest tightened once more. This couldn't be happening. This really couldn't be happening. Reaching up, he began to unfasten his tie it felt like the damn thing was going to choke him.

"Mr. Abbott I was wondering if..."

"Not now," he said dismissing some lower level executive, who he was sure wanted to kiss his ass with hopes of getting noticed. He was usually amused by brown nosers, but he didn't have time for them today. He only had time for one thing and that was Lily. Lily, the woman he loved. Lily, the woman he left.  Billy clinched his fist so tight that he could feel his nails sinking into his skin. He didn't care. He needed to feel something else, something other than anger, frustration and fear, so pain would do. Pain would calm him, because he needed to be calm when he went to home, or he was going to kill someone. He thought back to his phone call, Billy it was an accident, he didn't... I didn't...it...it was just an accident. 

"Billy," someone called, but he didn't slow his stride as he rounded the corner to the elevator. Sharon's words where playing like a broken record in his head. He didn't...I didn't...accident

"Billy, I know you heard me."

"Yeah, I did," He said pressing the down button.

"Then why didn't you answer?" Jack asked. "And where the hell do you think you're going? We have meeting with the representative from Harrods in twenty minutes."

"It doesn't matter," Billy said staring up at numbers above the lift. He could feel his brother's eyes burning into his head, but he could care less.

"It doesn't matter? What fuck do you meant by it doesn't matter."

Ding

Billy moved to step into the lift, but Jack grabbed him by the arm. "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you."

"Jack," Billy said in a quiet voice, "You can either come with me or stay here, but if you don't take your hand off of me this very second, me not caring about the representatives from Harrods will be the least of your problem."

Jack eyed his brother for the first time. Billy looked like a trip wire just waiting to cause havoc. Jack had never known his brother to be a violent man. Billy had always used his brains to get what he wanted. The old Billy used to get angry and fly off the handle, but he'd never been violent. The man he'd gotten reacquainted with over the past few months never got angry and if he did, he never showed it. But the man in front of him looked calm, but not the relaxed type of calm. The calm you feel in the air before a hurricane hits; the waiting calm. Jack took his hand away and followed Billy into the lift.

"What's wrong?"

"Lily," he said without pretense and that one word showed Jack something else. Another emotion he couldn't reconcile with his brother, fear.

***

Billy sat back in the cabin of his Gulfstream jet and tried to relax, but he couldn't. Every nerve in his body was wound tight and getting tighter by the minute. He needed to see her now. But this fucking plan wasn't moving fast enough. It had taken two hours for his staff to get the plane ready to take off. He didn't have two hours. He didn't have two minutes. He had to get to her now!

He was a fucking idiot. How could he have left her there? How? Why had he left her to deal with this shit? The shit he caused? "Fuck," he growled and swiped a hand through his hair. He couldn't deal this. He couldn't handle not being there for her, when she needed him most. And yet everything in him screamed that she wouldn't have gotten hurt if he hadn't come back into her life.

"Billy," Jacks said from his seat across the isle. "You need to calm down, we are almost there." 

"I know," Billy practically barked at his brother. He appreciated Jack coming with him. He'd been stunned when his brother said that he would reschedule the meeting Harrods and return home with him. Billy knew he must look really bad for his brother to agree to do that.

"I know you're scared..."

"I'm not sca-

"Yes you are." Jack interrupted. "The woman you love is in the hospital, and although Kate told you that her injuries were minor and that she's doing well, you still need to see for yourself." Jack was grateful that he'd been able to talk Billy into calling Kate for an update on Lily's, while they waited on the plane to get ready. Jack had originally told him to call Colleen, but for some reason, unknown to him, Billy hadn't wanted to talk to her. Jack silently wondered if Billy weren't angry with their niece for not calling him with the news or an update on Lily. At that moment Jack hadn't cared, because Billy had needed to talk to someone after Sharon had given him the news that Lily wasn't badly hurt.  

"How the fuck is she doing well if she's in the hospital? A hospital she wouldn't be in," Billy took a deep breath and said the words he'd yet to say aloud, "If it weren't for me."

Jack was surprised by Billy's words. He'd known that Billy was angry, but he hadn't realized the person he was angry with was himself.   "It's not your fault."

"Really Jack? Because I feel like everything that has happened is my fault?" He didn't give Jack a chance to reply before he continued. He needed to say it all now, because he might never get the courage to say it again. No, he would say it again, but only to her and he would hope that she would forgive him.

"I should have stayed away. She was happy, well maybe not happy, but she was content. But I missed her, and I loved. I...I love her. God, I love her so much and I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed her and didn't care if she was married." He said grounding out the last work. "I didn't care that she...loved him." His hands were clenched into tight fist. "No, nothing mattered, at least not what she wanted. I had to have her, like some obsessed love sick egomaniac."

Jack listened. It was all he could do, because he didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to calm the beast that was raging inside his brother. The only thing he could do was comfort him and keep him out of jail, because if Billy saw Nick, Jack was sure that he would probably kill him. "Billy there was no way you could have known that this would happen."

"Jack I was cocky. Cockiness is a bad trait to ever use in business, and I used it in my personal life. I was so sure that Nick was this daddy's boy, so I underestimated him and now, the woman I love his paying for it."

"Billy, you were not the one who decided to argue with her in a stairwell." Jack said. "That was Nick. Her falling down those stairs is on Nick, not you."

"No Jack, see that's where you're wrong." Billy's said. His eyes were the blue of the Pacific Ocean at twilight. "Nick and I are both to blame for her fall, because I brought Sharon in to this."

"Sharon was business."

"Sharon was personal, but I used her desire to get out of the business, as well as her need to cement Noah as a Newman, as a way to get Lily back. Lily would have never fallen down those stairs, if she hadn't over heard Nick and Sharon in his office." How had he been so stupid, when he knew Sharon liked to play games? "I should have told her the moment I found out, but I didn't."

"Why?"

"I thought she was happy." Billy had learned from CC what a great marriage Lily and Nick had. He knew from small tidbits here and there that Nicholas Newman was admired for his beautiful and loving wife. "I hated Nick the moment I found out. I wanted to run and tell her, but then her mother died, so I waited and then dad died..." He trailed off still finding it hard to discuss his father's death. "I threw myself into the business and rarely ever looked back." Until the day I saw her picture in a magazine, the once vibrant fire that lay behind her eyes barely flickered.   

Billy slumped forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "What if she had died?"

"Billy, don't do this." Jack said.

"Don't do what Jack, tell the truth?

"It's not the truth, because she didn't die. 

"But she could have. Jack she could have easily broken her neck on that fall and you know it." Billy said looking down at his knees. His heart nearly stopped at the thought. "She could have died. My TL, My Tiger, My Lily, could have died. And Jack," Billy shook his head and swallowed. "Jack, I finally realize that I could live without her as long as I know she's alive." A single tear rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it way with the back of hand. "But if she'd died," he continued in a low voice. "I would have destroyed Newman Enterprises and everything and everyone associated with them. There wouldn't be a brick left in Genoa City, with the name Newman on it. And if anyone got in my way," Billy lifted his head to look his brother in the eyes. "I would have burned Genoa City to the ground, until all there were only ashes left.  

"We need to talk about the baby." Nick said. He was slightly frustrated. "We have to talk about the baby."

Nick watched as she turned on her side away from him. "Lily let's discuss this."

"Nick, don't," Lily said, as she stared at the dull white wall in her hospital room. She waited for him to push her, because she knew he would, Nick didn't know when to back off. He didn't know when to give her space, not like Billy. She knew it wasn't fair of her to compare them, but how could she not, when she was constantly reminded about those differences?

"Lily this baby is-"

Baby, there was that word again. Lily felt as if her heart was going to explode whenever someone mentioned it. How could this have happened? She had been shocked and confused when the doctor told her she was pregnant. Shocked, because she hadn't expected it, and confused, because she was taking birth control pills. She knew it wasn't a hundred percent effective, but she took her pill every day. She'd been on the pill since she was fifteen, way before she and Billy ever became intimate. She'd rarely missed a day in the last ten years and if she had, it was usually for medical reasons. But she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had been taking her pill every day for last two years. So how had this happened, and why did it have to happen now? Now when her life was in free fall and the only place she could land was the ground. Billy will catch you. Her conscience whispered, but she didn't believe it. Why would he now?

Nick stared at his wife's stiff back and sighed. "Lily, I fucked up. I know I did, but the baby isn't going to go away."

"Nick, please." She didn't want to do this. She wasn't ready to do this. Everything was so fresh. She needed time to process the last twenty four hours. 

"Sweetheart, this baby is a blessing." Reaching over, he touched her arm, and tugged her towards him. She let him turn her over, but she didn't look at him. Her eyes were focused on the sheet that was catching the silent tears that slid down her cheeks. "Lily."

"No," she said.

"Lily."

"No."

"Lily."

"No!" She sat up in the bed, "No, Nick. No. Why, is it so hard for you to listen to me?" She said in frustration. "Why don't you ever listen to me?" 

"Lily we can't just pretend that you aren't pregnant, and I know that this is fresh on your mind." Nick moved from his chair and sat next to her on the bed. "But Sweetheart, don't you see?" He ran a hand down her cheek. "This baby is our shot at a second chance."

She shook her head back and forth, shaking off his hand in the process.

"Yes, baby," Nick took her hand in his.

"No," she said and gently pulled her hand from his. "This is not our second chance."

"I know that you're angry, but-" He began, but she cut him off with the words that would change him forever.

"It might not be yours." She said looking him the eyes. 

She watched as disbelief, sorrow, pain, anger and finally resentment passed through his eyes. She didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything to say. She could tell him she was sorry, but it would be empty, because she wasn't. To be sorry, she would have to regret sleeping with Billy, and she didn't.

"Billy."

He said the name so low that Lily was sure it had taken everything in him to utter the word. "Yes," she said trying to hold his gaze. His eyes were the darkest she'd ever seen them, the intensity in them slightly frightening her.

"You fucked him."

Lily started as if he'd yelled at her, but the statement was made in the same low tone. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She couldn't speak, not when he was looking at her with such anger in his eyes.

"How many times?" asked Nick

Lily bit her lip and swallowed. Her throat felt dry and her palms were clammy. "Once," she said, making her voice sound as normal as possible. She didn't feel the need to tell him exactly how many times they'd had sex in that one night.

Once, the word registered deep inside Nick's mind, in the place where civility still ruled, but he didn't let it affect him. Something had awakened in him, or perhaps it had always been awake and waiting for the right moment to take over. Waiting for the right moment to show the world that he wasn't the man everyone assumed he was. No, he was something darker, and from the look on his wife's face, she knew it, too.His wife, Nick could hear the sound of his heartbeat at those words. She had betrayed him by sleeping with a man he hated more than anyone else in the world. His beautiful, perfect wife had been sullied by his enemy and yet, as he sat here staring into her lovely brandy eyes, he knew that he still loved her.

"When?" he asked after the silence stretched.

"It doesn't matter," Lily said not wanting to get into the details. "Nick, I'm tired."

"When?" he said again, this time more firmly.

Lily closed her eyes, and said in a voice barely above a whisper, "The day we came back from the Bahamas."

Nick couldn't speak. He felt as if she'd just twisted the knife in his heart. The anger he'd previously felt magnified at her admission. Of course it had happened then. He'd practically handed her to Billy the moment he chose his business, no, Sharon, over her. Nick felt like a tool, well, for Billy he had been a tool. He'd used him to get to his wife. Nick had known what Billy wanted, and he had played right into his hands. Now his wife was pregnant, and the baby might be another man's. A baby he'd wanted since the day they married. 

"Nick," Lily said. She wasn't sure what was happening. She'd expected Nick to react when she told him, but she hadn't expected this. She'd expected...she wasn't quite sure what, but it wasn't this, this cold anger that pulsed around him like static electricity.

Her soft, worried voice pulled him back to her. He could feel himself going deeper into the darkness, but she'd pulled him back, for now. He looked from her eyes, and then down to her mouth, where he noticed she was biting her bottom lip, a sure sign that she was thinking. He didn't know what to say to her. He knew that he needed to say something, but he wasn't certain what that was, so he asked the questioned he'd wanted to ask her earlier. 

"Would you have told me that you'd slept with him, if I...if you weren't pregnant?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation, "that's one of the reasons why I came to your office."

He nodded as if it made perfect sense. "What was the other reason?" He asked the question, but he didn't want to know the answer. He had a feeling what she would say. He'd been running from this answer for a month.

Lily took in a deep breath, held it, and then slowly let it out. There was no easy way to say this, she'd always known that it would be hard to say, but now, knowing that she was with child, made it ten times worse. But there was nothing for it. She hadn't changed her mind, not even now, because how could she, when everything she had known was a lie? 

"I was going to tell you that I thought we should separate," she swallowed, "but now…" she trailed off.

"Now," he said forcing her to hold his direct gaze.

"Now, I want a divorce."

"You want to leave me for him."

"This isn't about Billy," she said.

"Well, as far as I can see it is."

"No, Nick it's not," at his look of disbelief she went on. "There were problems in our marriage before Billy came into town. I tried to talk to you about it, but you wouldn't listen. You were too busy with work and Symphonic Smells." Lily turned towards the door, unable to say this part to his face. "I was happy. I tried to tell myself that I was, but the truth," she turned back to him. "The truth is that I haven't been happy in our marriage for a while."

Nick could feel his heart stop at her words. He'd always thought that she was happy. He'd never known that she was unhappy in their marriage...that he made her unhappy. "Why didn't you tell me? I wasn't always working on Symphonic Smells, so why?"

"Why?" She sighed. "Nick, because there was always a Symphonic Smells, but it went by a different name or had something to do with Newman. You rarely made time for me."

"Lily,"

She held up her hand, "It was different when we first got married, and I...I just wanted to be a good wife, so I put your career first, and I told myself the first time you left me in New York during Fashion week to take care of a deal, that was more important than standing around and watching me network. I put the message in my head, and somewhere along the line I convinced myself that it was true. I convinced myself that your career was more important than mine, and as your wife, I needed to be there for you."

Nick wanted to say that he was sorry, but he knew it wouldn't be enough. He was angry, angry with her for not speaking up, and angry with himself for not asking her how she felt.

As if she could read his mind she said, "It's not all on you. I should have said something, before it got to this point, but I didn't, so here we are."

Nick stared her for a long moment and asked the only thing he could, "Do you still love me?" 

She looked away for a beat, before turning back, "Yes, I do."

The darkness receded even further at her words.

"But," She took a deep breath and blinked, "It's not enough."

"Lily how can you say that," he asked feeling the surge of blackness begin to take over his soul. "How," He said the words slowly, "Can you say that?"

"Because Nick, it takes more than love to make a marriage work."

"Ours can work."

"No it can't."

"Why not? Because you're in love with Billy?"

Time stopped and Lily could swear she heard the second hand make its slow journey around the clock on her wall.

"Say it," he demanded.

"Nick."

"Say it."

Lily turned to away.

"No, you look me in my face and and answer the question. You want to lay all of the cards on the table, well, go ahead."

Lily turned back to face her husband. His eyes where almost black with anger, his jaw was tight and his hands were clenched into fists. Lily would never admit it to him or anyone else, but at that moment she was very afraid of her husband. She moved her hand towards the remote on the side of her bed that would alert the nurse's station. She didn't think he would hurt her, but she honestly wasn't one hundred percent sure. Her mind drifted back to the way he'd handled Sharon. She felt the small box in her hands, before she answered.

Nick watched the fear in her eyes and then glanced down to her hand that was resting on the remote. She was afraid of him, and that more than anything else calmed him. He wasn't absolutely calm, but he never wanted Lily to be afraid of him.

As if sensing his change of mood she said, "Yes."

Nick closed his eyes to keep the rage that shot through him at her words at bay. He needed to be calm or he would do something terrible, not to her, never to her. But it didn't mean that he wouldn't pick up a chair and throw it against a wall. "So part of our issue is about Billy," Nick said. "But then again, Billy has always been a part of our marriage and your heart." 

Her heart felt heavy, because she knew his words to be true. "Fine, yes Billy is a part of it, but so are Sharon...and Noah."

And just like that, the mention of his son pushed back the anger that coursed through his limbs, leaving him empty and alone in the dark.

Billy walked with confidence down the hospital corridor. It was a confidence he didn't feel. He'd been all fired up to see her, but the closer he got to Genoa City the more apprehensive he became. It wasn't that he no longer wanted to see her. Even after CC had finally called to confirm what Kate had already told him, that Lily was doing well, it didn't stop him from needing to see for himself. He had to know if she was okay. He wanted to know if they were okay.

***

Lily was tired. She felt tired and weary down to her very soul. Her marriage was over, and she was having a baby without a single clue as to who the father was.  She refused to even think about who she wanted to be the father. The only thing she wanted was to rest. No, that wasn't true, she wished, she wished with every part of her that she could go back to the beginning, back to the day she gave Nick a second chance after she'd caught him with Sharon. She hadn't been in love then, but she was lonely, lonely without Billy, lonely within herself. That loneliness had eaten away at her soul, causing her to make some very stupid decisions. Yes, she'd love Nick, but she shouldn't have married him.  She should have done what Billy had. She should have gone away to find herself, left Genoa City and her loneliness behind.

***

He wasn't sure what he would do if she told him the truth. If she told him he was the reason she'd fallen down those stairs, that his selfish disregard for anyone's feelings except his own had almost killed her. Billy knew what Jack said. He knew what both Kate and CC said. But she could have died. She could have been killed, and it would have been his fault.

He stopped, suddenly feeling unable to go on.

"Billy," Jack said in concern when he noticed his brother stop. His hands where at his side and he looked as if someone had dropped a weight onto his soul. Jack hated this. As much as he didn't understand the man his brother had become, he didn't want to see him like this.

"Give me a second, Jack," he replied, running a hand through his blonde locks. He already knew what Jack was going to say, and on some level he knew it to be true. He needed to pull it together before he saw her. He didn't want to invite her to his pity party. Fuck everyone else.

Taking a deep breath, Billy continued down the hall toward the bank of elevators, packing his doubt into the black box with each step he took.

***

She could see him. He was standing there on the bottom step of the gazebo; smiling up at her, she felt her mouth lift at the corners in return. She loved his smile, his real smile. The one that showed you who he really was deep down inside, not the mask he wore for the world. It was her smile, the one he especially reserved for her.

"I want you to come away with me."

"What?"

"Come away with me," he said, and then pressed a kiss to her hand.

She could feel her heart beating a mad rhythm against her chest as if it were trying to escape. "Where?"

"Does it matter?" he asked, moving his hand to her hips. "Nothing matters as long as we're together." He pulled her closer, and as if she could read his mind, she leaned down into his eyes and fell into his kiss.

The kiss was soft, but filled with a passion that surpassed anything she'd ever felt before. His lips moved firmly against her. His tongue dipped into her mouth and began to dance with hers. Giving, receiving, taking, leaving, it was all there, in a kiss that made her head spin.

"Come with me," he said again, his blue eyes drinking her in.

"Yes," she breathed, before he devoured her mouth again.

***

"Billy," she sighed.

Colleen froze in her conversation with Kate. "Did she just my uncle's name?"

"Sounded like it to me," Kate said, relaxing back in her chair.

"And that's all you have to say?"

"What else am I suppose to say? It's not like we didn't know she slept with him."

CC rolled her eyes and then looked around the room as if she thought someone would jump out and yell surprise. She leaned into Kate and whispered, "Do you think it's his?"

As much as she wished did, Kate didn't have to ask what ‘it' was, but she really wished she did. "I hope so."

"How can you say that? After all, Nick is her husband."

"Hey, you asked, I'm just telling you the truth. Besides, it would be easier for her if Billy was the father."

Colleen couldn't deny it, there was even a small part of her that hoped ‘it' was Billy's, but she couldn't say it aloud. Although that didn't stop her from wanting it to be so. However, she was married, and a married woman should never support, let alone be accepting of an adulterous relationship.

"It would be easier," Kate said again, "Much easier." 

***

The elevator ride to the eighth floor of the hospital seemed to take an eternity. As each floor passed, Billy's decision to tuck his guilt away into the black box grew stronger the higher he ascended. He no longer blamed himself for her accident. Yes, he could have done things differently and he would forever wish he had, but her accident was not his fault. No, her accident lay at the feet of one person, Nicholas Newman.  

Ding

"It's up ahead," Jack said, after they'd taken a few steps.

Looking up, Billy spotted the room number Kate had told him over the phone. "805," he said, feeling his pulse quicken. He made to move towards the room.

"Billy."

Turning at the sounds of his name, Billy saw Neil approaching from the waiting area, with Olivia close behind. No one else was there. He'd been certain he would see a Newman, at least Nick, if not Victor. He'd mentally prepared himself to deal with them, but he now dismissed them from his thoughts.

"Victor had an emergency meeting at Newman." At Jack's raised eyebrows, Neil added. "It seems that," he trailed off, turning from Jack to Billy he continued, "It seems Nick has an illegitimate child."

"Wait a minute, Nick has a child?"

"Yes," Neil replied, never taking his eyes off Billy. "He has a son with his ex-girlfriend Sharon Collins, who just so happens, or shall we say happened, to be the CEO of Symphonic Smells."

Jack faced his brother, "You knew?"

"Of course he knew," Neil clenched his fists. "What I want to know is how long have you known?"

Billy stared at the father of the woman he loved. He'd never really cared for Neil. He was Victor's right hand man, which meant he was always an enemy of Jabot, always a danger to his father's company. But he was a good man in spite of the fact he kept his nose firmly up Victor's ass. "I didn't learn about Noah until a few years after they were married."

"And if you had?"

Billy could feel his body ready to lash out at the sound of his voice. Breathe, just breathe, he thought before answering. "I would have never...ever let her marry, you."

"Nick, Billy," Olivia said when she saw Nick approaching. "This is a hospital. We have patients here, and this is not the place for you to resolve your issues, so please try not to cause a scene. The patients don't need it, and neither does Lily."

"It's a little late for that," Billy said motioning to their captive audience. He knew the gossips of GC were all atwitter at the news of Lily's accident, and now the news that Nick had an illegitimate child. Billy owed Adam for leaking that little tidbit, because he knew for certain it wasn't Sharon. Sharon was bold, but she'd been scared shitless when she'd spoken to him on the phone. She was too afraid of retribution to do anything more. So there only left one person, Adam.

"Be that as it may, the two of you don't have to make it worse." Olivia folded her arms under her breast and glared at both men, who were staring each other down. 

Billy didn't respond. As much as he wanted to put Nick through a wall this was not the time or the place.

Jack looked at his brother's tight jaw and said, "I think we should give them a moment."

Olivia looked at Jack as if he'd lost his mind. "Are you crazy?"

"They aren't going to do anything, are you?"

Silence. 

"They are not going to do anything," Neil repeated. "My daughter is in the hospital and the blame lies at both of your feet, so you are not going to do anything to cause her to hurt more than you already have." Neil faced Nick, "especially you."

Nick stared at his father in law. A man who'd always treated him like son, now looked at him, as if he were something he scraped from the bottom of his shoe. He hated this, hated the way her family and friends now looked at him like he was scum. He'd lost their respect and trust. He'd lost it because of the man standing directly in front of him.

Nick nodded.

"Billy," Jack said.

He nodded, "I'm not going to upset Lily." At least not today.

Jack, Neil, and Olivia parted without another word. Although Olivia hesitated, but left when Neil placed a firm hand on her arm. The two men stared each other down, when finally Nick spoke.

"I will repay you for this," he said in a voice low and steady.

"I look forward to it."

"You really don't know what you've done do you?"

"No Nick, the moment you put your hands on her, you didn't know what you'd done."

Nick started to take a step forward but stopped himself. "I didn't touch her."

"She still fell down those stairs," Billy ground out. "She could have died."

"I don't need you to tell me what might have happened to her. But you, you need to understand one thing."

Billy didn't reply, only raised one dirty blonde eyebrow.

"She is still my wife," Nick said, taking a step forward, "and the baby she's carrying might be mine."

Baby? Billy thought. Lily was pregnant. He didn't have a chance to process this new information as Nick continued.

"I will fight for her with everything I have,and if the baby's not mine, it doesn't matter," he leaned in, "because I will never let you have her." Nick stepped back, "Never," he repeated. Turning away, he walked off down the hall, leaving Billy alone with his thoughts.

***

She was sleeping when he entered her room. CC and Kate left without a word. The look on his face must have spoken volumes. Walking over to her bed, he moved his fingers gently against her soft skin. She had the softest skin he'd ever felt. It was smoother than the finest Chinese silk. Her angelic face was marred with an ugly purple bruise, and yet, it couldn't detract from her beauty. His fingertips skimmed the shell of her ear and moved to the soft baby fine hair at the nape of her neck. He swallowed, trying to ignore the feel of the puckered skin there. This was new. He knew her body, and this small thin line at the back of her neck hadn't been there the last time they were together.

She shifted against his palm and sighed, "Billy."

Billy's heart lurched at the sound of her voice. "Lily," he said. Leaning down, he kissed her temple and whispered in her ear. "I love you."

***

Lily felt his breath warm against her ear and blinked. She looked up into the pacific blue of his eyes and felt as if she were drowning.

"I'm sorry," Billy said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She stared up at him. He looked...tired, and very young, younger than she'd ever seen him. "It's okay. I've slept too much already."

"You need to rest."

"I'm fine." She watched as his eyes travelled from her face to her stomach. "Who told you?"

"Nick," he answered, and there wasn't anything friendly in his voice.

"Oh God, Billy," she exclaimed, and begin to get up.

Billy sat on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder, "Nothing happened." The small lie burned within chest. "We didn't fight or even argue."

Letting out a deep breath, she let him plump up the pillows behind her head, before straightening the sheets over her. He touched her so gently; the slight brush of his fingers tingled as they grazed her skin. "I don't break that easily."

"I know," he said in a voice slightly choked with emotion. He moved a chair closer to the bed and took her hand in his. "I'm sorry."

"Billy don't," she said. "Please just don't, this was not your fault."

"Lily it was my fault. Maybe not all of it, but I did get the ball rolling. So I need you to let me do this...please."

Nodding, she watched as he ran his free hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I missed you so much, so very much, and I just...I don't know, something in my heart told me that you needed me, just as much as I needed you. I saw you in Times Magazine and you looked so...sad and empty."

Lily looked down, unable to hold his eyes. She was embarrassed that he could see what no one else could. Embarrassed that she'd been married to a man who slept with her every night, yet couldn't tell how she felt. She knew Nick loved her, but she'd always known that he didn't truly know her. So why had she married him?

"It was like you were calling to me," he said, lightly messaging the area between her thumb and forefinger. "It was stupid, really, but that didn't stop me from jumping to conclusions and using..." he trailed off. He had to do this, to tell her everything. How do you tell the woman you loved above all others, that you'd intentionally set out to destroy her marriage?

"I set Nick up."

"What do you mean?" she asked, raising the bed higher in order to sit up. "Billy," she said when his eyes left hers to stare above head.

"I wanted you, so I did whatever I could to destroy your marriage."

Lily's heart tightened. She licked her suddenly dry lips, "How?"

"Did Nick ever tell you about Symphonic Smells?"

Heavy, that's the only thing Lily could think of. The air felt heavy, as if the once intangible substance had suddenly become tangible. Her heart felt heavy, heavy in the sense that it felt as if it was about to be yanked down into the pit of her stomach. She didn't understand why she felt this way; it wasn't as if she didn't know Billy wanted her back. He'd never come out and said, "I'm going to destroy your marriage," but he hadn't hidden his intentions either.

"Yes," she said slowly pulling the word from her brain.

"I own it."

"You own it?" 

"Yes, I own Symphonic Smells. I bought into the company three years ago when I heard the owner wanted to expand." Billy felt like each word was being yanked from him. As hard as it was to watch the emotions flitter through her eyes, he owed her direct eye contact. "Sharon and I were partners." 

He and Sharon were partners. Sharon, Nick's ex- lover the woman her husband had a child with. Billy was partners with her. She voiced her next thought aloud. "How could you not tell me?" she accused, removing her hand from his. 

"I didn't know about Noah when you married Nick," he replied, feeling the absence of her skin against his. "I didn't find out about him until two years ago, and at that time, I thought you were happy and I didn't want to ruin it for you."

"But it's okay now?" she asked. "You see a picture of me in a magazine, and then all of sudden it's okay for you to destroy my life?" Her voice rose with each word, "It's always on your time, Billy."

"Lily."

"No," she said, and her voice cracked. "Why is it always on your time and never mine?"

"Lily."

"You never wrote," she continued, tears coloring her voice. "I waited everyday for an email that never came. I waited very week for Colleen to tell me you were coming home. I wanted you so much, but..." she swiped the back of her hand across her check to clear the tears. "You didn't want or have time to for me."

"Lil," Billy said, moving to the bed he sat down next to her and took her face in his hands. "Lily, I tried. You have no idea how many times I tried to write to you. How many emails I started to write, but could never form the words right, or how many times I picked up the phone to call you, but didn't."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because, I'd left you," he said.

For first time since she'd known him, Lily saw a single tear fall from his eyes, but that was it, only one single tear.

"The few weeks away were great," he said, ignoring the wetness on his cheek. Needing to distract from it, he slid an errant hair behind her ear. "I had an amazing time exploring Spain and then traveling south to Morocco. The architecture, the history, and the people were like nothing I'd ever experienced before. I met people from all over the world, many out exploring the world for the first time like me. And then one day, I was standing under an awning in a market in Marrakesh, the sun rays peaking into the shadows, while people bargained with the merchants, and I thought, Lily would love this. She loves to bargain at swap meets. And in that moment, I didn't understand why you weren't with me, or why I'd left you."

Billy stroked a hand against her cheek, before removing both from her face. "I didn't know why," he said. "I guess I could've blamed Nick."

"Nick?" Lily questioned, feeling as if she'd missed something.

"Let's just say Nick made exploring the world sound very appealing to a young man who was tired of hearing that he needed to be more responsible." Billy shook his head at what a fool he'd been. "It wasn't until I heard you were engaged that it all clicked for me. He wanted you, and I made it so very easy for him to have you."

Lily was floored, Nick couldn't have...He wouldn't have...He was with... The jell-o she'd eaten earlier threatened to come back up. Nick had manipulated her, but then so had Billy.

"I should have written you the moment I realized what a mistake I made. I should have returned to Genoa City, got down on bended knee, and asked you to come away with me."

"But you didn't."

"No, I didn't. My mind was constantly debating itself. One minute I believed the time apart would do us good, and the next, I'd sit at a computer trying to figure out what to say, or I would call the airline ready to book a ticket home. I went back and forth over this again and again, and then..." he stopped, unable to go on.

"Your father died." she finished for him, seeing the pain on his face. She knew that pain, even after four years, her mother's death still sat heavily on her soul.

"Yeah," he replied, determined to keep those emotions in their box. "He died, and I convinced Jack to let me take over the London office. I threw myself into work, and gave up on my travels. I wanted to be the responsible son. The son my father had always wanted me to be."

The room grew quiet at his words. Lily couldn't explain it, but she found a small bit of peace, to finally learn why he'd never reached out to her. "I cried for you," she said, suddenly. "At the funeral, when you didn't show up, I cried, for you."

"I did show up."

"What?"

"I showed up at the grave site, but I stayed far away. I was so angry that he was gone, that I knew I would probably cause a scene. So I stayed in the background, and left before everyone began to depart." Answering her unspoken question he added, "I didn't you see." He reached back up to stroke her face, "Although I wish I had."

"I wish you had too," she said, and removed his hand from her face. "Maybe then I wouldn't feel so betrayed."

"Lily."

"I know what you're saying, and I'm happy you told me, but you hurt me. You knew Nick had a child, and you didn't tell me."

"It wasn't my place."

"Maybe it wasn't, but it wasn't your place to try and destroy my marriage either, but that didn't stop you, so once again we're back to square one, you getting what you want, on your time."

"Lily, I love you and I know I made mistakes, but..."

"Billy, I can't do this with you. Not now, not after we..." she stopped, and placed her hand on her stomach. "I just can't."

"What about the baby?" he asked, his hand joining hers over her stomach. "He or She might be mine."

"And he or she might be Nick's. What if the baby is Nick's?"

"I don't care," he said, because he didn't care. He wanted her for keeps and he would take care of her and the child, no matter who the father was.

"You say that now."

"Lily," he said firmly. "I. Don't. Care. Do you have any idea how close I came to losing you? How crazed I felt when I heard about your accident?" Billy brought his face close to hers. Her usual smell of vanilla was barely noticeable, but he still picked up a slight trace of it. "I know I hurt you, and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope, God I hope, that someday you will forgive me."

"I do forgive you, but I can't be with you," she said, wiping a tear from her face. "I might have committed adultery, but I am still married. And even though my marriage is over, I'm not ready to start something new. Because that is what this would be, what we would be."

"I know you."

"You knew me, and I knew you, but neither of us really knows who the other is now. We can't live off the love we had as teens, if anything, we need to discover a new love, a stronger love."

Billy felt his heart lift at her words. She would give him another chance. She didn't say it, but the implication was enough for him. I will never let you have her. The words came unbidden into his head. Billy thought of the way Nick had looked at him. He'd never seen him that way. Yes, he'd underestimated Nick before, but he wouldn't again. There was no way he'd leave Lily alone in Genoa City, and he had to return to London. "Come away with me."

"What?"

"I know that I fucked up, and I know you need to work some things out, but I want you to let me take care of you."

"Billy..." Lily said, exasperated. She was tired of people trying to take care of her. "I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself."

"I know that, but I..." God, how could he tell her that he didn't feel comfortable leaving her in Genoa City with Nick? He knew she wouldn't understand, and the rational part of him believed that Nick wouldn't physically hurt her. But he'd never seen that look in Nick's eyes, or heard the assurance in his voice. No, Lily couldn't stay here, even if he could stay here with her.  Billy knew that Nick would only stress her out. "Do you love me?"

"Billy, I just said that we needed to..."

"Do you love me?" his whispered against her lips.

"Yes," she sighed as his lips brushed gently against hers. She knew she shouldn't let him kiss her. She was registered in a hospital as Mrs. Newman, kissing man who wasn't her husband, and pregnant without the slightest knowledge of who the baby's father was. But she let him kiss her, even after all she'd said, she let him, and it was perfect, and sweet and so gentle that it left her wanting more.

"Then let me take care of you."

"Billy..."

"You said you wanted us to learn each other again, to get to know each other better." He raised her hands to his lips and kissed each in turn, never taking his eyes from her. "I want our love to be stronger."

Her eyes left his to travel down to his lips, then over to his cheeks and up to his forehead before returning to his eyes. She was so tired, and it was would be so easy, but...

"I'm not asking you to be me with now," he said reading the indecision in her eyes, "but I want...no, I need for you to let me take care of you." Taking one hand from her face, he placed it against her flat stomach, "Both of you." Billy moved in to kiss her, "Will you let me?"

He waited for what felt like an eternity, and then finally she leaned in and kissed him.

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Fin.