Chapter One

Six O’clock on a Friday afternoon found me sitting on a park bench alone, drawing my name repeatedly into the light colored sand. The wind had calmed from its constant blowing throughout the day and my hair was finally able to calm at ease, resting on my back. With my knees curled up to my chest, I rested my chin on the concave of my joined knees and dropped the stick I held. Brushing my hands together to rid my palms of the slight dust that accumulated on them, I pressed my back against the tree and stared up at the sky. A selected few of isolated crows flew overhead, vanishing into the vastness of the clear blue sky. Just like Florida to not have any clouds floating above.

The frivolous banter from a group of boisterous teenage girls could be heard in the distance, along with the dribbling of a basketball and the ‘swoosh’ from it going into the net. The pitter-patter of feet running up and down the nearby court nearly drowned out the sounds of the cars traveling up and down the streets.

From the distance, I could hear the faint sounds of a stereo system bumping the latest Lil’ Wayne hit. The steady increasing of the bass indicated that the car was advancing the park instead of retreating from it. Holding my head up for the first time in almost thirty minutes, I drew one hand up to my neck to ease the ache it endured from its stiff position.

Jarring me from my sereneness, the basketball that I heard in the distance stopped suddenly, right before it came slamming down on top of my skull. The force of it knocked my head back against the tree trunk. Holding my head, I grabbed the ball just as tears instantly formed behind my eyelids due to the forceful jerk to my head. The sounds of belligerent teenage boys laughing could be heard throughout the park, grasping the attention of many onlookers. My face grew hot from embarrassment as more people began to laugh at my despair.

The sound of a single pair of footsteps neared me as I continued to stare at the ground, not daring to look up. As the footsteps came closer, the laughter of the person increased.

“Damn Amanda, that shit rocked your dome.” A familiar voice stated. It was Tashawn Houston, the most popular boy at Stratford High School. Everyone loved him, everyone except me that is. “You need to move your ass out the way.” He growled, snatching the ball away from me forcefully. Without sparing me another glance, he turned his shoulder towards me and stalked off. Suddenly, hot tears burned like gasoline as it trickled quickly down my face. I drew my arms up promptly to wipe my eyes before anyone could see.

Too Late.

“Oh shit, she’s over there crying.” One of his friends said laughing and pointing at me. The others turned around quickly just in time to see my hand come down from my face.

“Stop crying like a lil’ bitch!” One of them yelled at me.

“She is a bitch, let her cry.” The other remarked cruelly. I tightened my fist and pressed my lips together. If there was one thing I hated in this world, it was when someone called me a bitch. I completely snapped whenever I heard that word directed towards me. Standing to my feet, I marched angrily over to the idiot that said it—Oryan Grandberry—Tashawn’s P.A.L, personal ass licker is what I liked to call him secretly.

“Get your ass off my court.” Tashawn growled at me. I said nothing as I made my way over to Oryan who just stood there staring at me.

“What the fuck you want, Bitch?” He said again. I clenched my teeth and tightened my fist once again. Cocking back, I thrust my fist forward, causing it to careen into his eye socket. His head tilted back and his hands immediately flew up to his eyeball as he groaned out in agony.

“Oh shit!” Demario Thornton exclaimed as I glared at him. I hated him as well as the other two. He was nearly twenty-three years old hanging out with a group of sixteen year olds. He made me sick with his immaturity.

“Don’t ever call me a bitch.” I told him through gritted teeth. Pushing through Tashawn and Demario, I stormed off the basketball court, only to come into contact with Oryan’s sister, Arielle.

“Bitch, tell me you didn’t hit my brother just now!” She shouted breathing down on me. Losing the courage I had earlier, I remained mute. I knew Oryan wouldn’t hit me because I knew he didn’t hit girls so I used that to my advantage. Arielle on the other hand would probably tear me to pieces. I backed away from her and tried to go around her. It didn’t work.

“Oh, so now you‘re scared?” She asked, advancing towards me once again. You would think that because she was a senior at our school—along with me—she’d have more sense than what she actually had…not! Oryan was probably smarter than she was, and he was a second year freshman.

“Get out of my face; I don’t want to fight you.” I told her, slightly pushing her away from me; she was close enough to see what I ate two hours ago. Just as she was about to say something, her eyes focused on something to our left and a smile instantly appeared on her face, expunging the scowl, she held no less than a nanosecond before.

“Look at my babies!” She shrieked only loud enough for her and me to hear. Turning to face whom she was referring to, my heart nearly skipped a beat as my face instantly flushed with a deep red color. “Hey Trey! Hey Jarell!” She waved exuberantly at the black on black 2008 Impala, aka the car I heard moments ago cruising down the street; in which Jarell was sitting behind the driver’s seat whilst Tremaine graced the passenger’s side. In response to her more than enthusiastic greeting, Trey waved at her with a wide smile while Jarell simply hefted his chin towards her.

Pushing past me to get over to them, I nearly toppled over from the force at which she did it. Once regaining my balance, I slowly glanced over at where she was headed. My heart began to pick up its rapid pace as I stared at them. His mocha skin and the other’s cocoa butter complexion was enough to make any girl swoon over them. I didn’t know which one I liked more, Jarell or Trey. There was Trey and his loud, outgoing “party all the time” personality, and then there was Jarell…who I didn’t know much about but could describe him—physically—to the T.

He was quieter than Trey but rumor has it that he could get crazy if he wanted to; something in which I have not been able to witness. He was the older brother of Tashawn…punk ass Tashawn and from what I saw, he kept a close eye on him, making sure he goes to school and doesn’t get into much trouble. One of the few facts I knew about Jarell was that he attended the local community college, Trident Tech. As to what he was studying, I didn’t know. Another thing I knew about him was that he graduated from Stratford last year.

Trey on the other hand, was cool. He graduated from Stratford as well, but that was over two years ago, a year before Jarell. As for college, he didn’t know the meaning of it. He hated school so much, once he graduated, I heard he vowed to never step foot inside another classroom. He was the go-getter, the one that didn’t waste his time on petty textbooks and boring lectures from uptight teachers. I wasn’t sure of what he did for a living but talk around town says that lately, he’s been dipping into illegal affairs, not that it was any of my business.

As far as I knew, Trey had a younger sister named Tatiana who was also a senior at my school. She was quiet just like me, but unlike me, she actually had a set of friends she hung out with in school. I barely saw her outside of the halls of Stratford but when I did, she was either with Trey or alone. I barely blamed her for keeping to herself though; a ton of girls at that school used her to get next to Trey. She was cool peoples; in fact, we used to be good friends a while ago.

“Amanda, get your stink ass off my hoody.” I heard Tashawn say ignorantly. Looking around the bleachers, I saw his black hoody inches away from me.

“Why don‘t you buzz off, I am nowhere near it.” I spoke quietly. Not only did I barely say anything, I had the softest voice you can imagine. My soft voice gave people the idea that they could run over me however they wanted but unlike most shy girls, I knew how to stand up for myself…sometimes.

“What the hell you say to me? I’m not Oryan; I’ll knock the shit out of you.” He barked, getting in my face. Standing up, I moved to side step him only to have him get further in my way.

“Leave me alone. No one was bothering you.” I said, placing my hand on his chest to push him back when he got too close. I began to walk off, only to have him follow me and turn me around forcefully. I pushed him again to keep the distance between us reasonable.

“Get the fuck off me lil’ girl.” He yelled irately.

“Lil’ girl? Boy please, I am older than you.” I replied with a scoff. I looked him up and down to prove that he wasn’t anything but a little boy to me.

“Sure as hell don’t act like it.” He said, pushing me backwards against a small Sycamore tree. I stretched my arms out to block him from me, only to have him grab them and pull me towards him forcefully. “You know what, it didn‘t have to be this way. Since you wanted to act like you was too good for a nigga, I’ll show you that you aren’t shit.” He spat at me.

The beef between Tashawn and me was, earlier last year, he wanted to get with me but I would always turn him down. He finally got fed up with me refusing him so he decided that he’d pick on me for the rest of my high school career. I wonder what he’ll do when I graduate up out that bitch this coming June, which is three months from now.

“Shawn, come the fuck on and quit playing around with these little ass girls.” Jarell barked at him in a less than friendly tone. Releasing me, he walked off over to his brother without looking back at me. My heart writhed at Jarell’s words; it was nice to know that I was nothing but a little girl to him.

Chapter Two

“Cheyrenne, I have your breakfast waiting on you downstairs.” My mom announced calling me by my middle name, while peaking her head inside my room door. Lifting my heavy head off my plush pillow, I groaned groggily while shielding my eyes from the bright light.

“Okay,” I said before dropping my head back down onto the pillow. She closed my room door and went about her business, leaving me to get ready.

Once downstairs, I was greeted with buttermilk French toast and sausages. Smiling wide, I sat at the island and drenched my plate with syrup. I ate silently as my mom read her newspaper and glanced at the clock periodically, sipping on her glass of orange juice.

“Amanda, do you have anyone you want to invite to your graduation…besides family members?” My mom asked, bringing me to raise my brow in inquiry.

“The only other people I know are graduating with me.” I told her with a small, humorless laugh. She always wanted me to go out to make friends but I never did. The only friends I ever had moved away, drifted apart from me, or turned their backs on me when I wouldn’t follow them up to do stupid things. I’d rather be alone than be with a crowd of no good wanna-bees.

“Baby, are you sure?” She asked with a questioning glance.

“Ma, I think I would know if I had friends or not.” I told her as she sighed heavily.

“There’re some nice kids about your age at the church, why don’t you invite some of them?” She pushed.

“Mom, I’m okay with not having friends.” I stressed. I hated whenever she did this. I knew she meant no harm but it got pretty annoying most of the time.

“I know but, I don’t want you to grow up in a shell and become an antisocial cat woman.” She joked lightly.

“First off, I hate and am allergic to cats and second, I’ve already converted into a shell.”

“This sudden shyness is starting to bug me. You never used to be this way, want to tell me what‘s up?” She asked. “Is this about your dad and me?” She added after I failed to respond.

“No.” I said, answering both of her questions. A year ago, she and my dad walked away from a twenty-year marriage simply because they outgrew each other. They were still good friends, but any fool could sense the tension between them whenever they got within close proximities of one another.

“Well, you know I‘m willing to listen whenever you have a problem, okay sweetie?” I nodded just as I finished up my plate and downed my orange juice as well. I tossed my dirty dishes into the left side of our double sink and kissed her on the cheek before grabbing my house keys and backpack.

The fifteen-minute trek from my home to school seemed like less than five minutes since I was so used to walking. I loved the scenery and spent that time to enjoy nature and spend some time with myself. I had a car but choose not to drive it if I could walk where I needed to go. Only when a place was out of walking distance did I drive; gas prices were way too high to drive just a few minutes to nowhere. Some of the twisted kids around here would back out of their driveway to the mailbox if they wanted to, which made no sense to me.

Finally making it to school, I made my way inside and headed straight to my locker to get my needed materials for first period. After clasping my Environmental Science book, I closed the locker and headed straight to that class.

“Welcome to class Ms. Amanda Cheyrenne Taylor; I just love your name.” My teacher Mrs. Marriott greeted me. She was always happy to see me simply because I was the only nerd that actually paid attention to her boring self. I only paid attention because I enjoyed Science…that was about it. She was a little on the weird side if you asked me.

“Hey Mrs. Marriott.” I greeted, setting my book and binder on my assigned desk near the front. She commenced to talk me to death until the rest of the students filed in just before the tardy bell. Being that I didn’t speak to anyone, I was early to all of my classes.

The day went on, boring as usual. In second period, which was Trigonometry, we did nothing. Then in third period, English 4, we did yet again, nothing. Wrapping up the day with American Government, I did, once again nothing. I enjoyed my first and last class, the two in between, I could do without. I wasn’t big on Math or English but I did what was needed in order to get the hell out of here.

“Hey Amanda.” A voice almost as quiet as mine greeted. I pivoted my neck to face Tatiana, Trey’s sister. She rarely spoke to me anymore and when she did, it was a simple ‘hi, how are ya’ and ‘bye’.

“Hi.” I greeted with a complimentary wave.

“I was wondering if you had all of your Trig notes.” She said. We didn’t have that class together but she had it first while I had it second, we would sometimes see one another whenever we were switching classes.

“Um, yeah.” I responded. “Which section do you need?” I asked her.

“Just three point three.” She replied. Fishing through my backpack, I pulled out the binder for that particular class to find the section she wanted right on top.

“Here you go.” I stated, handing it over to her.

“Thanks, is your number still the same?” She asked as I nodded.

“(305)-851-2276” I recited just in case she had the wrong one.

“Okay, I’ll call you when I’m done with them.” Without any other words, she walked off to the parking lot as I made my way down the sidewalk and away from the school.

A while ago, Tatiana and I used to be good friends but somehow, we drifted apart. I wouldn’t say best friends but close enough to the point where we had each other’s backs. Once she started hanging with some girls I didn’t particularly care for, we grew apart and now it’s just a ‘hi and bye’ friendship. Every now and then, we’d talk but it wasn’t often that we did.

“Amanda, a friend is on the phone for you.” My mom said cheerily holding the phone in both of her hands. “I see you took my advice.” She winked, actually thinking that she did something special. I flashed a fake smile before taking the phone from her.

“Hello?” I answered timidly.

“Hey Amanda, it‘s me…Tati. I don‘t mean to bother you but do you think that you can come over here and help me with some of this stuff because I am not getting any of this and Trey is no good.” She said with an added scoff on the last part. “I really don‘t mean to bug you. It‘s okay if you say no.” She added.

“It‘s no problem I guess.” I said feeling awkward. It was kind of weird how in one day we could go from being distant friends to study partners. I guess there was no harm in it.

“Do you remember where I live?” She asked. “I would come and get you but my car is shot.” She explained with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, I remember.” I told her as I began to get ready while still on the phone. I pray to God that Trey neither Jarell was there. If so, I’d be a nervous wreck the whole time and probably would make an ass out of myself. That was the last thing I needed right now.

“Forgive my manners, would you like something to drink?” Tatiana asked after we had settled onto her couch. Since I got here, we have yet to talk about anything involving Trig, let alone school.

“What do you have?” I quizzically asked.

“Lemonade, Tea, Water, Milk, and Orange Kool-Aid.”

“I‘ll have some Kool-Aid.” I said as she laughed.

“Still the same I see.” She smiled softly before retreating out of the room. When she left, I took that opportunity to kick off my shoes and lay back on her couch. Slowly but surely, I was beginning to warm up, unwinding from my stiffness. When she came back, she had two glasses in her hand.

“In case you haven‘t noticed, I didn‘t exactly call you over to study.” She said as I laughed infinitesimally.

“I figured.” I responded.

“Really, though…the truth is I missed hanging out with you. Seriously, I feel so bad about us drifting apart and nearly becoming strangers. I remember all the fun we used to have talking about random things.” She reminisced. Not knowing what to say, I simply nodded. “I know this might seem awkward for you, but you know I was never a normal person.” She said with a small laugh. I joined in with her, recalling all the laugh attacks we would randomly slip into. Most of the time, we’d begin laughing at something small and then end up laughing harder at inside jokes we held between each other. I was just as weird as she was.

“I miss those laughing spells we‘d go into randomly.” I voiced what I was thinking while laughing.

“Hey! Remember that one time that Trey rolled down the stairs, running from a spider?” She asked before laughing hysterically. I joined in with her and began laughing my ass off. I remembered everything about that day.

“His pants slid off.” I said in between laughs remembering how his drawstring b-ball shorts slid down, exposing his raw booty. Tatiana began laughing harder and before we knew it, we were at it again. It was like we never separated.

Our bonding was suddenly interrupted at the sound of the doorknob turning. My heart literally leaped out of my chest and ran down the street as my mind began to race. It could only be one person walking through that door.

“What the hell are you in here laughing about Tati?” I heard Trey’s voice ask. Walking inside, he gave me a wary look before glancing back at her.

“Nothing.” She said, sticking her tongue out.

“Who dat?” He asked as I felt my heart sink a little. For some reason, I was hurt because he didn’t remember me. All the times I would come over a long time ago, I thought I’d at least leave some impression on him.

“Amanda.” She stated in a matter-of-fact tone as if he should be ashamed that he didn‘t recognize me.

“Mandy? Little Mandy?” He asked in a shocked tone. “Damn, time has been good to you. I thought you two stopped hanging out.” He directed his statement to me before walking over to my side of the couch, hugging me as if I was his friend.

“Ugh, Trey! Stop trying to cop a feel from her. I hate when you do that.” She scoffed, making him laugh.

“I‘m not doing anything. Unlike most of your other hood ratted friends, I liked Mandy. She never got in the way and never tried to ride my nuts every waking second of the day.” He explained before letting go of me. His scent remained on my shirt…the shirt I silently vowed never to wash again after this day.

“Whatever, get away from her, she doesn‘t like you.” She scoffed. If only she knew, I actually did. The things I would do to her brother; if she found out, it would jeopardize our friendship…if you want to call it that. I didn’t really know where we stood.

“Where the hell is that nigga?” Trey asked, looking out the front door, which was wide open. He walked over to the door and stood in the frame. “Jay, get your ass in here!” He yelled. At the mentioning of his name, my racing heart, due to Trey’s presence came to a screeching halt. Everything seemed to slow down as soon as his face appeared within the doorframe. The large lump in my throat that formed whenever Trey hugged me fell into my stomach, leaving my whole mouth dry. Stopping short, with his feet balanced on the threshold, he gave me an inquisitive glance before shifting his gaze to Tatiana.

“Sup?” He asked nodding his chin towards her. She nodded in response as he walked in the house fully. Without even acknowledging me, he walked into the kitchen. Feeling foolish for getting worked up over him for nothing; my face began to turn that dreaded velvet red color due to embarrassment. Never had he said one word to me, yet here I was about to die from him being within a five feet radius of me.

“What‘s the matter Amanda?” Tatiana asked me. Snapping out of my trance I turned to say something to her, only to stop when I saw Tashawn enter the house.

“Rell, mama said to bring my black ass home” He yelled throughout their house, ignorantly.

“Shut the fuck up with that yelling boy.” Jarell spat at him, emerging from the kitchen. Once again, my heart began to race when he came into view. “Tell her we‘ll be home later, and stay your ass outside.” He added. Bringing the phone Tashawn held in his hand into view, he pressed it against his ear.

“Ma, we‘ll be there later.” Tashawn said hanging up no sooner than the words left his mouth. Placing his phone back into his pocket, he turned to face Tatiana. “What‘s going on baby?” He asked, squeezing in between the two of us, focusing solely on her. This time my heart was racing out of fear and not anticipation. I prayed silently that he would simply ignore me and not embarrass me in front of everyone.

My prayers fell on deaf ears.

“What the hell are you doing with that loser behind me?” He asked, insulting me without even bothering to look at me.

“Leave her alone.” She defended, pushing his arms from her shoulders.

“For what? I can do whatever the hell I want. With that being said, when are you going to let me do you?” He asked her as she scoffed.

“As if you’d ever get a taste of this.” She scoffed with a roll of her eyes. Standing up, she motioned for me to follow her. “Let‘s go in my room, away from these idiots.”

Once in the safety of her room, I was able to breathe again. I managed not to open my mouth and make even a bigger ass of myself. Tashawn had already done enough to belittle me in front of both Jarell and Trey.

“I swear I want to punch his face in sometimes.” Tatiana vented. “He‘s the complete opposite of Jarell. Jarell is so sweet while Tashawn is just a damn bowl of two day old gross.” She commented.

“Jarell is sweet?” I asked incredulously. “He seems mean as hell.” I added, thinking of how he completely ignored me a few moments ago.

“Only to people he don‘t know. He doesn‘t really talk to strangers.” She said laughing a little. “Unless he has to.” She added. I nodded silently, taking in everything she was saying. Leaning in, she whispered as if someone might actually hear her through her walls. “I used to have the biggest crush on him but he’s so unresponsive. I don’t like mutes…they’re so boring. I still think he’s sexy though.” She giggled. Shaking my head at her, I drew my legs under me and wrapped my arms around my waist. It was an unusual cold night. It felt like December when it was actually the middle of March.

“Damn, it‘s almost nine already.” I noted. “We never even got to study.” I added with faux disappointment in my voice. She smiled before saying something.

“Didn’t you walk here?” She asked. I nodded my answer as she lifted a brow. “Girl, you‘re going to freeze your ass off.” She said glancing at the small t-shirt and shorts I wore. Earlier that day, it was hot as hell, now it was freezing.

“I know, yay me.” I said nonchalantly as she laughed.

“I can steal one of Trey‘s hoodys for you.” She suggested. Before I could open my mouth to protest, she was up and on her feet, halfway through the door. Leaving me in a daze for a few minutes, she returned with an oversized red and black hoody with graffiti letters encrusted all over it. On the back, it had his face on it and his name under it in graffiti letters as well. Of all hoodys for her to grab.

“How are you going to take his stuff just to give to other people?” I asked her.

“He never wears it and besides, he knows you so it‘s okay.” She said, tossing it in my lap. When she began lacing up her sneakers, I took that as a hint to get up and begin getting ready to leave as well. “I‘ll just walk with you and take it back with me.” She added.

Nodding, I followed her downstairs into the living room. By now, Trey and Jarell was laid back on the couch, both with one foot rested on the coffee table. Arielle was posted in Trey’s lap, snuggled close to him and whispering into his ear as he chuckled lowly. The sight brought forth a bitter taste in my mouth and my tongue went dry. On the other hand, Jarell was smoking a Philly, which magnified his sex appeal to greater heights.

It was hard work having one crush, let alone two. Especially when those two hang around each other almost around the clock; talk about an emotional sleigh ride.

When she saw me coming down the stairs with Tatiana, she scoffed and rolled her eyes at me. Standing up between Trey’s legs, she pulled down her shorter than short skirt and pranced her way over to us.

“Tati, what the hell are you doing with…that?”

“Arielle, leave her alone. She‘s my friend.”

“I thought I was your friend.” She stated ignorantly.

“You only want to be friends with me in order to get next to Trey.”

“T, that‘s not True!” She exclaimed. Tatiana rolled her eyes and shook her head. Focusing her attention back to me, Arielle turned on her heel and faced me.

“What are you doing wearing his hoody?” She asked once we turned to walk out of the door. My first instinct was to deny that it was his hoody but his damn face was on it, therefore I couldn’t.

“I gave it to her, got a problem?” Tatiana jumped in to my defense.

“Actually, I do. I‘m the one that got it made for him and I don’t want her wearing it.” Emphasis on the word, ‘her’.

“It‘s mine, and I said she can wear it so chill.” Trey spoke up. His words released a handful of butterflies into my stomach. His statement sent Arielle into hush mode, leaving me with a cocksure grin. Finally looking at Trey, he quickly flashed me a smile; for a moment, I thought I imagined it.

“Whatever.” She mumbled before grabbing her coat, which was next to Trey and shrugged it onto her shoulders, flipping her long lustrous hair from under it. “I‘m coming with you two.” She said, inviting herself along with us.

“Arielle, stay your ass here.” Trey intervened, yanking her back onto his lap. A part of me was happy that he stopped her from putting a damper on the rest of my night, but the other half wanted her to come, just so I know that she wasn’t here all over Trey.

“Oh wait, I forgot my phone, I‘ll be back.” Tati said before jetting back up the stairs. Left standing in front of a couch full of people, I slowly walked over to the door so that I’d be out of their line of view. I tried my hardest not to look at Trey and Arielle but it was quite hard; especially with her trying to grasp my attention every five seconds by sucking on various parts of him loudly and glancing in my direction.

My eyes shifted a little to the right, and landed on Jarell who hasn’t said anything since we came from upstairs. My heart nearly packed its bags and walked out on me when I caught him staring straight at me. Swallowing the large lump that magically appeared in my throat, I quickly looked away and exhaled loudly. I hadn’t even realized that I had stop breathing. My mind raced at dangerous speeds as I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes only to find him still watching with a blank expression on his face. Hopefully, he was daydreaming in my direction and not looking at me. To test my hypothesis, I debated on whether I should move or not. If he was indeed watching me, his eyes would move whenever I did. Slowly, I stepped to the right.

They moved.

If you could take a picture of my insides, you’d see butterflies in my stomach, worms in my chest, and my mind would be running on a treadmill at top speed. It wasn’t until I snapped out of my trance did I realize that I was staring at him as well. I was having a staring contest with him, without my consent. I quickly turned completely around, facing the wall like a jackass. I heard his deep bass filled voice release a low grumble, which sounded a lot like a chuckle if I wasn’t mistaken.

“Okay, we can leave now.” I heard Tatiana say as I exhaled deeply once again not knowing that I was holding my breath. She opened the door and waited for me to walk through it. I turned around and waited for her to lock it before stepping out. Before she closed the door, my eyes locked with Jarell’s once again.

“So what do you plan on doing after graduation?” She asked as we walked slowly down the sidewalk a few blocks from her house. Her neighborhood wasn’t the friendliest and luckily for us, everyone that tried something with us would recognize her as Trey’s little sister and go on about their night. We’ve been stopped five times by lurking criminals in the last twenty minutes.

“I was thinking about enrolling in Trident.” I told her.

“No, no. I meant like right after? Are you going to any after parties?” She asked, restating what she meant.

“Oh…no.” I said shaking my head. I wasn’t the party type simply because I hated crowds. I wondered daily how I managed to make it through Stratford, the school that had over three thousand students under one roof.

“Seriously, you should come with me to the one Trey’s friend is throwing at the Kush Lounge. Some of his little homies are graduating also so he wanted to throw one for all of us.” She explained.

“I don‘t think I should, my family is supposed to be coming down here and they might want to do something for me.” I told her, thanking God I had a great excuse.

“Don‘t worry about that, it‘s supposed to start at nine and who knows when it’ll end.” She said, tossing my excuse right out the window. My smile slumped at the corners as I tried to think of another liable excuse.

“Um…”

“Oh come on!” She pleaded.

“I‘ll check with my mom first.” I told her, just as we came into view of my house. “I can walk the rest of the way, in case you wanted to start heading back home.” I told her as my walking slowed to a stop.

“Um, is it okay if I hail your mom?” She asked hesitantly. I nodded my answer as we continued on our trek.

“Oh my goodness sweetheart, I haven‘t seen you in a long time.” My mom said once I reminded her who Tatiana was. She pulled her close and gave her a bear hug.

“How are you?” Tati asked; her voice muffled from being held so tightly.

“I‘m great, and you?” My mom responded, pulling back from her.

“I‘m fine.” She answered before making herself comfortable on the sofa.

“It‘s been ages since Amanda brought any of her friends over.” My mom rambled. She began talking poor Tati to death, while I just sat and listened. She ended up feeding both of us some leftovers from the night before. She even sent two extra carry plates for her to take home.

“Give these to your brother and his little friend Jared that you told me about.” My mom said giving her the plates as I grinned at her mistake and shook my head.

“Jarell.” Tatiana corrected with a smile before descending the stairs to our porch with a wave.

“Oh yeah, that‘s right. Remember to tell Trey that just because he done grew up on me doesn‘t mean he can‘t come by sometime to visit.” She called out behind her once she started her way down the street. “And call me when you get in!” She added before closing the door and locking it. She turned to me and gave me a cocksure smile.

“What?” I asked her.

“Nothing.” She said with the same smile. Shaking my head at her, I headed to my room to get ready for bed.

Chapter Three

“I didn‘t know Trey knew my mom.” I told Tatiana during lunch the next day. She furrowed her eyebrows and nodded vehemently.

“She knew my mom.” She explained. Last night was the first time I’ve ever heard my mom talk about Trey as if she knew him. Hell, I didn’t think she knew anyone in the area.

“Oh yeah, I‘m sorry to hear about her.” I told her, expressing my condolences. During the time when we weren’t hanging around each other, their mom passed due to Pulmonary Hypertension. I never got a chance to express my grievances to her.

“It‘s okay. I learn to deal with it better each day.” She rationalized with a sincere look about her face. “I have my good days and bad.” She stated, her tone indicating that she didn’t want to broach the subject any further, so I left it alone.

“My mom said that I could go, as long as there‘s no alcohol.” I told her, swiftly switching topics. The look of bewilderment told me that she had no idea about what I was talking about.

“What are you-” Stopping in mid sentence, she suddenly caught on to what I said. “Oh, the graduation party. Okay.” She said, laughing at her inability to catch on quickly.

“Yeah, I asked her this morning while we were eating breakfast.”

“By the way, Trey and Jarell loved that plate she sent. You‘re mom has blessed hands.” She told me, patting her belly. “That food was off the chain. I couldn‘t even get them niggas to share with me.”

“But you already ate at my place.”

“Yeah but it was so good, I couldn’t resist.” She said with a smile. The bell rang interrupting our conversation and signaling us back to class. We parted ways and finished off the rest of our humdrum day.


“Hey Tati, what are you doing here?” I asked her, stepping to the side to let her in my house. She came in and turned to face me just as I wiped the sleep from my eyes.

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out at the park?” She asked turning the last part of her statement into a question. “Trey, Jarell and Tashawn and I were headed over there and I wanted to include you.” She offered. At the mention of their names, I had three reasons why I didn’t want to go. One: I liked Trey. Two: I liked Jarell as well, and Three: I hated Tashawn with a damn passion and didn’t want to be near him.

“I can‘t I have to do the dishes and vacuum and stuff.” I lied. I had already vacuumed earlier and we had a dishwasher.

“Aw man, well maybe you can stop by later on, like when you‘re done.” She suggested. Surprisingly, she didn’t press the issue and for that, I was glad. I don’t think my heart could take being close to Jarell and Trey for longer than a few minutes.

“I‘ll try.” I told her, not intending to actually come.

“See you later.” She said before opening the door and leaving. It was then that I saw Jarell and Trey sitting in Jarell’s Impala. Tashawn sat in the backseat behind Jarell burning a hole in me. Sticking his head out the window, Trey waved at me.

“Hey Mandy!” He called out boisterously. I smiled widely and waved back. He popped back in the door and turned to Jarell and nodded his head in my direction with a cocksure smirk. Jarell turned and looked at me with a smirk on his face as well before shaking his head and looking forward just as Tatiana got back into the car. My heart fluttered at their actions, wondering what Trey could have said to bring about that smirk on Jarell’s face. Closing the door, I leaned against it and exhaled deeply, placing my hand over my rapidly beating heart. I looked down and gasped sharply. It was then that I realized what they were looking at:

I only had on my sheer nightgown.

My cheeks burned like hell at the thoughts they may have had about me. Then again, who’s to say they were actually thinking about me. They could have been laughing at how stupid I looked in it. Either way, they still saw a part of me that I preferred to keep private.

“Oh my Bob!” I shrieked out loud after wallowing in my thoughts for a long time. Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed a Kiwi Strawberry flavored Vitamin Water and downed it just as quick as I opened it.

An hour later found me standing outside the gate of the park, looking for Tati. After receiving about two calls from Tatiana, I decided that it would be in my best interest to go to the park after all. She left pitiful voice messages about how bored she was so feeling sorry for her, I decided to go.

I felt relieved when I spotted her near the courts sitting in the bleachers but my relieved state didn’t last long when I saw who was surrounding her. Around her sat Jarell, Trey with Arielle right up under him and Tashawn.

“Great.” I mumbled under my breath before making my way over to them slowly. I took my time as I walked because I was in no way eager to be near the two people that hated me most and the two that I cherished dearly.

“You made it!” Tati squealed, once I was within earshot range. She stood up and met me halfway, hugging me tightly as her way of greeting me.

“Yeah, I heard your pitiful message.”

“At least you cared enough to stop by. Didn‘t I sound so lonely?” She asked in the same voice she used on the voicemail. I laughed at her and nodded.

“Lonely? More like pitiful.” I said with a grin as she punched me playfully in the arm.

“Oh hush.” She said walking back over to the bleachers. I quickly reached out to stop her before she got over there and flashed a pleading look.

“Um, do we have to go over there?” I asked in a softer than normal voice. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked back at the two pair of eyeballs that was grilling us and the two pairs that were ignoring us as usual.

“Why, what’s wrong?” She asked. “It‘s Tashawn and Arielle, isn‘t it? Look don‘t worry about it. I already told them that you were coming and to lay off on the jokes and stuff.” I felt a heavy burden lift from my shoulders a fraction of an inch.

“Okay.” I spoke just above a whisper.

“If you‘re still not comfortable, we can sit on the other side away from them.” She offered, just as I saw Tashawn get up and go over to his little group of friends that just arrived on the scene. I exhaled and shook my head at her offer. Now that he was no longer over there, I was a little more willing to go. I still had Arielle to face but she was so enthused with Trey’s presence, I doubt she would cause too much trouble. I still had to worry about sitting near two of the finest men in the world…at least my world.

“We can go.” I told her before walking over to them. When we got closer to them, Trey lifted his head away from Arielle and smiled in our direction. If I knew how to draw, I’d draw him just like that. Too bad, I couldn’t even draw a straight line with a ruler.

“Wassup Mandy?” He asked stretching his arms wide. My heart picked up speed at his gesture for me to actually hug him. Not wanting to look stupid, I walked into them and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he gave me a slight squeeze. Oh my God, he’s touching me! I thought cheerfully.

“Hey, tell Nadine that she can cook for us any time she wants. That food she sent us last night had me feigning for more.” He said once he released me. His words made me smile brightly.

A barely audible, “Okay.” was all I managed to say before sitting next to Tatiana.

“Can you cook like that too? If so, I‘ll have to start paying you to come by the crib more often.” He said with a playful grin. I chuckled at him before taking a seat next to Tatiana. If only he knew that I’d do what he wanted…free of charge.

“I can cook.” I finally stated, answering his question. Growing up, my mom kept me at her side whenever she was cooking so that I could learn. At the time I hated it but over the years I grew to appreciate it.

“Hot damn. I may have to marry you now.” He joked. Although he was only kidding, I couldn’t help but blush openly at his words. The thought of having Trey to myself was enough to get me worked up over nothing.

“I can cook too baby.” Arielle interjected, souring my thoughts with her annoying voice. Trey simply stared at her before turning back to me, not even acknowledging her comment.

“So, like I was saying.” He said rudely before Jarell let out a breathless chuckle. Remembering that I was sitting right behind him, my body went frigid when I realized how close I was to him. His head was nearly in my lap. If he were to tilt his head back, it would land right on my knee. The thought of him touching me made me forget all about Trey briefly.

“What did you make on that Trigonometry test?” Tatiana asked, jolting me from my thoughts.

“A ninety six, what about you?” I asked just as her eyes went buck.

“You made a damn ninety six on that shit! I failed that bitch with a sixty seven.” She frowned and crossed her arms. “I am so jealous. I bet you went in your room and studied all night after I left last night, didn’t you?”

“Actually, I crashed out.” I told her as she nudged me with her elbow.

“I always knew you were smart.” She said with a proud smile. “Too bad it‘s not contagious. Now I have to stay after school next Friday to make that shit up.”

“Speaking of Friday, you going with us to Dwayne‘s party Mandy?” Trey asked, jumping into the conversation. I hadn’t even realized that they were listening in.

“Why she got to come?” Arielle asked with a stink attitude. I rolled my eyes at her and looked at Trey with confusion written all over my face.

“Party? What party? And who’s Dwayne?” I asked, ignoring her.

“A house party and Dwayne is my homeboy.” He answered sarcastically with a smile. I rolled my eyes playfully at him and shrugged my shoulders.

“I didn‘t know about it.”

“Sorry, I didn‘t think you‘d want to come so I didn‘t bother to ask.” Tatiana explained. She was right, I didn’t want to go and I was glad she didn’t ask because I’d be force to make up a lie about why I couldn’t go.

“I don‘t really do parties.” I told Trey with an apologetic look.

“Oh come on, it‘ll be fun.” He encouraged. I chuckled at him, realizing that both he and Tatiana never took the first answer as the final answer.

“Okay.” I said, just to get him off my case. When the time came around to actually go, I’ll just mysteriously catch a flesh eating disease that will hinder me from going.

“Man, that‘s bullshit. How is all of us going to fit in Jarell‘s car? Tashawn said he was going to come too.” Arielle croaked out.

“Tashawn’s riding with De.” Jarell spoke up. It was the first thing he said all day and his bass filled voice sent chills down my spine. He shifted a little causing his head to graze my kneecap just a little. Although he didn’t seem to feel it, that slight contact was enough to electrify my entire body. My knee tingled infinitely as if it had came to life and developed a mind of its own. If I could, I’d collect his DNA from my skin and frame it to cherish for an eternity.

“Girl, what the hell are you staring at so hard?” Tatiana asked, jarring me from my thoughts. I looked up only to find her, Trey and Arielle staring back at me.

“Looks like she was burning a whole in Jay.” Arielle said with a sinister smirk.

“I wasn’t.” I replied, hating the way my voice trembled from fear. I was indeed burning a whole into the back of his head as my mind drifted off.

“Aw, you crushing on my boy?” Trey asked. At his comment, Jarell lifted his head back and gazed up at me before focusing his attention to Trey. The act required his head to rest on my knee once again sending my heart and mind into a chaotic euphoria.

“No!” I answered suddenly, hating how tensed I seemed. “I wasn‘t looking at him.” My cheek flushed when Jarell gave me an inquisitive glance.

“Sure…” Trey said incredulously.

“I swear, I wasn‘t.” I denied, knowing they were far from believing me. Luckily for me, they dropped the conversation and moved onto another. However, my heart was still racing from what happened and I wanted to crawl under a rock.

“Come on.” Tatiana said grabbing my arm and pulling me up before I had a chance to even protest. After nearly tripping over both Trey and Jarell, I made my way down the bleachers and followed after her. She pulled me close to her side and leaned in as if someone may be around listening to us.

“Do you like Jarell?” She asked catching me completely off guard. As far as I was concerned, that conversation had long ended.

“No!” I shrieked, denying it to the fullest. I didn’t want a soul to know about my crushes. People tend to run their mouths and the last thing I wanted was for one of them to find out about it.

“Yes you do. It‘s okay to tell me, I won‘t tell anyone.” She told me, trying to ensure my trust in her. Going against my better judgment, I nodded.

“Only a little. Nothing serious.” I said, cringing at what she might say.

“Aw, join the club. Plenty of girls like him, I did too but he‘s too damn quiet for me.” She explained with a frown. “If you want, I can see if he‘s interested.”

“No! I don’t want to date him!” I said. I didn’t know the first thing about being in a relationship on the count of, I’ve never been in one before. I didn’t know what to expect when it came to relationships and I’d rather not find out. From what I’ve heard, they were horrible.

“I didn‘t say I was going to hook you two up. I just said I‘d see if he was interested in you.” She explained. Still, I shook my head vehemently. I didn’t want her asking him any questions pertaining to me. I didn’t even want him to think I liked him, let alone find out later that his assumptions were right.

“Don‘t…please.” I begged of her.

“Okay, I won‘t.” She said, the vibe she gave off told me that she wasn’t going to give up this easy. “But I want to so bad. You need a man.” She stated bluntly.

“I do not!”

“Yes you do. I bet you‘re still a virgin.” She teased.

“Actually, I‘m not.” I said as her eyes widened. Without warning, she released a ear-splitting scream, causing everyone nearby to look over at us. My heart did a somersault and kicked me in the lungs when I saw Trey and Jarell staring over at us. My breaths were now rapid, racing my sporadic heartbeat.

“Shut the hell up!!” She exclaimed. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me viciously.

“Okay.” I said with a smirk.

“Details! Who was it? When and where the hell was I?” Warming up to her, I smiled wanting to tell all about my sexual escapade. Since it happened, I haven’t told anyone about it.

“It happened when we weren‘t really talking. Remember Chris?” I asked as her eyes nearly fell out of her head.

“Sexy Chris with the green eyes?” She asked as I nodded. Chris was a guy that I used to hang with. Other than Tati, he was the only other friend I really had outside of my family.

“It happened before he moved back to Virginia.” I told her as my mind began to think back on that day. “It was hot that day and all I had on was a black sports bra and some yellow terry cloth shorts. He only had on jeans and had his shirt draped on his shoulders.”

“Damn, you remembered what the hell you two had on?” She asked, I laughed and nodded my answer before expressing it verbally.

“Yeah, you said you wanted details didn‘t you?” I asked, using her words against her.

“Continue.” She urged.

“Anyway, we went in the house and started goofing around, wrestling and whatnot. He pinned me to the ground and tickled me and stuff. I don’t know how but the tickling turned into him kissing me and the next thing I know, we were in my mom’s bed.” I told her as my cheeks burned.

“Ah! You fucked in your mom‘s room???” She shrieked. My face reddened even more when she yelled the last part out loud. I silently prayed that the earth would open up beneath me and swallow me whole. I looked around and exhaled deeply when I saw that no one was looking.

“What the hell? Tell the whole world why don‘t you!” I hissed. She threw me an apologetic look and leaned in close to me.

“Was he good? Was that the only time you two did anything? How big was he?” She asked as I laughed hysterically.

“He was alright, the pain was too much for me to actually enjoy it and yes, that was the only time.” I told her.

“You didn‘t answer that last question.”

“He wasn‘t huge but he wasn‘t small, just average.” I told her. She shook her head in amusement and gaped at me.

“I am so mad I‘m just finding out about this. The virgin Mandy lost her innocence.”

“Shut up you hooker-whore.” I laughed. “Oh! How come you didn’t warn me that I barely had any clothes on when I answered the damn door?” I snapped as she started laughing.

“I thought you knew!” She claimed.

“Hell nah, I was so embarrassed.” Even now, my cheeks burned, remembering how embarrassed I felt about the whole ordeal.

“Calm down, I don‘t even think anyone noticed or saw anything.” She lied horribly. Tatiana was so straight forward, the poor kid must’ve forgotten how to lie.

“You‘re lying!” I shouted, it was now my turn to be stared at by nosey onlookers. Staring blankly back at them, they turned away, leaving Amanda and I in our own world.

“Okay, well maybe Trey noticed…a little.” She laughed.

“Oh my goodness, I‘m going to die at a young age.” I stated with my face hidden in my hands. I normally took a nap after school and so therefore, I was asleep when she came by leaving me no time to change into something more decent.

Shaking her head at my comment she went on to another subject. Once it started to get dark, the younger crowd began to head on home and the older people started to drift in. At night, this park wasn’t the best place to be caught slipping at. It most definitely wasn’t the friendliest. Knowing this, Trey used Jarell’s car to take Arielle, Tatiana and myself home; for that, I was grateful since it saved me a walk.

Chapter Five

Today marked two months since Trey and I got together. Things were pretty good; he seemed to be more serious now. It was nice to know that he could actually be serious and wasn’t a complete goof all the time. One thing I did notice about him was that he was very protective over me. I didn’t mind mostly, but sometimes he was absurd.

“Oh my goodness, you are so beautiful baby. Trey is going to be so proud to have you on his arm tonight.” My mother cooed while my father simply rolled his eyes. Tonight was prom night and Tati, Torrance, Trey and I were all going together. Trey gave me enough money to buy our tickets earlier this week and my mom made my dress for me. It was a beautiful but simple red gown that matched perfectly with Trey’s black and red tuxedo. It seemed that I could never get enough of those colors.

“I still don‘t trust that boy as far as I can throw him.” My dad grunted. I frowned at him lightly but that frown was short lived once I heard a familiar car pull up in the driveway.

“It‘s Trey!” I exclaimed. My mom squealed and picked up the camera again while my dad just sat there with a look of discomfort. I laughed at the look on his face while he stared at my giddy and vivacious mother. My mom opened the door to reveal Trey, who was just about to ring the doorbell.

“Tremaine! You are so handsome! I swear, if you were on age with me-”

“Nadine!”

“Mom!” My dad and I shouted simultaneously. She giggled as Trey shook his head at her devilish ways. You would think after nearly two months of dating, I’d get used to his presence by now but I haven’t. Whenever I’m around him, my heart still banged against my sternum. I couldn’t explain why but at least now, I had a reason for it. His kisses are to die, kill, cheat, and steal for.

“Mr. Taylor.” Trey addressed my dad. I shot my dad a stern look, which he ignored and hefted his chin towards Trey to acknowledge his greeting. I told both Trey and my dad to behave themselves around each other for my happiness sake. It was my night and I didn’t want any drama going down between them or anyone else around me.

When I first introduced Trey to my dad, he was all but pleased. He didn’t want me dating a ‘thug’ as he called him. At least my dad had the decency not to make a scene because he was notorious for doing that.

“Hey baby!” I cooed before wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. I placed a respectable kiss on his cheek so the ‘parental father’ wouldn’t get bent out of shape. My mom cooed and my dad grunted; he just couldn’t handle me growing up.

“Hey baby girl.” He whispered in my ear. I nearly shivered physically from the chill that traveled down my spine at his simple words. I loved it whenever he used nicknames. “You look beautiful.” He told me once he pulled away from our hug.

“Thanks baby. You‘re pretty fly yourself.” I said while plucking the brim of the hat he wore cocked to the side. We placed our corsages onto each other and my mom snapped tons of pictures before allowing us to leave.

“Son, you see that dress she has on; make sure it stays on…all night, in fact, I want her to sleep in it too.” My dad said as my mom laughed and stepped in between the two.

“David, leave him alone. Trey knows the rules: No alcohol, no drugs, and no sexual eruptions.” My mom said laughing. My dad glared at her while she simply ignored him, handing Trey my overnight bag and shooing us out the door. I was spending the night with Trey but I told my mom and dad I was staying over, only to be with Tati. My dad didn’t know of Trey’s and Tati’s relationship, therefore he agreed to the arrangement. My mom on the other hand thought that Tati would be home when all actuality, she would be staying at Torrance’s house.

Yeah, we had this whole thing set up perfectly.

“Come here and give me a real kiss.” Trey said once we were outside and in his car. I smiled at him leaned across the seat, meeting him half way. We kissed for at least thirty seconds before pulling apart. Plopping back down in my seat, I struggled to regain my vision. His kisses always left me discombobulated.

The night came and went like a gentle breeze blowing over the seashore into the ocean. During the first half of Prom, Trey and I made out at the table and ignored the rest of the world; however, after they announced the Prom King and Queen, we started to dance and have fun. Once Trey and Torrance got tired, Tati and I just went out and had our own fun. Arielle was grilling us the entire time but I barely paid her any attention on the count of, I was having too much fun to care about her.

It was now after twelve and Trey and I had already changed out of our formal attire and into our everyday casual wear. The curls from my hairstyle was still trying to hang in there so therefore, my hair didn’t look too horrible. Trey’s braids were as fresh as they had been whenever he came to my house and as usual, he looked good.

“You feel like going to that after party?” He asked with a weary look on his face. He looked as if he wanted to go home.

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever you want to do.” I told him, leaving the decision up to him since he was driving. I didn’t want to keep him out later than he wanted to be but if he really wanted to go then I was down; just as long as I was with him.


To my surprise, we ended up at the party that Tati told us about earlier. He must not have been as tired as I thought. Pulling into the club parking lot, we parked next to a familiar Black Impala. Normally, whenever I saw that car my heart rate increased dramatically but it only skipped one beat this time. Slowly but surely, my feelings for Jarell began to subside, thanks to Trey. However, I still thought Jarell was sexy as all get up.

“I’ll only be a few minutes, okay?” He stated as I nodded innocently. We both exited the car only to have him shake his head and walk over to my side. “Stay here baby.” He said with a disapproving frown. I contorted my features from that of happiness to one that read complete discomfort.

“Um, okay.” I spoke just above a whisper and nodded a little, looking down at the ground. He placed his index finger and thumb under my chin and hefted it up, kissing my forehead and then my lips.

“I promise I won‘t take long.” He said before opening the door and helping me back into his car. I pulled my feet in as he closed the door and walked off toward the club, locking me inside of the car with his keypad. I reclined in my seat and waited patiently for his anticipated return.

Five minutes turned into ten and ten slowly ticked onto twenty; before I knew it, I had fallen asleep after being in that car for an hour and counting. Opening the car door, I stepped out and marched straight for the club doors. Pissed couldn’t describe what I was feeling right now. Just as I got close to the double doors, a big, tall, dark skinned dude blocked my path.

“Where you going lil mama?” He asked me. I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue to keep in some harsh words. This was certainly the last thing I needed.

“I need to see my boyfriend.” I said trying to ease my way past him.

He wasn’t having that.

“People in hell need Jesus, so what’s your point?” He asked rudely, taking his job too seriously. “Let’s see some I.D.” He said with his hands outstretched. Being that I left my purse in the car and since it was way the hell across the parking lot, I frowned deeply.

“Sorry, I left them back in the car. Can I just run in and get him so we can leave, he‘s been in there for an hour already and I’m just tired and want to go home.” I explained, slowly losing patience. I didn’t know whether I was more upset at Trey stranding me or this bouncer getting on my last damn nerve.

“How do I know you ain‘t trying to sneak in there?”

“Look, will you just let me in that shit hole for a few seconds?!” I snapped. The look on his face informed me that I wasn’t getting in anytime soon. “God! I’m going to kill Trey!” I screamed, stamping my foot. The bouncer stared at me with both brows raised high over his forehead.

“You Trey‘s girl?” He asked. I snapped out of my thoughts and stared up at him.

“Yes.” I nodded. It was then that he stepped to the side and opened the entrance doors for me. “Um thanks.”

“No problem, you should have said something earlier.” He told me. I didn’t know this man from 21 Jump Street yet here he was speaking to me like I was his long time friend. Not wanting to stall any longer, I walked into the club, instantly greeted with the smell of weed and must. I skimmed the room for about a minute before I saw Trey standing up in a corner facing a group of guys. His back was turned against so he couldn’t see me approaching him. One of the guys he was speaking to shift their gaze towards me, causing Trey to turn around.

“Trey, what the hell is taking you so damn long?” I asked frustrated.

“Damn it, I told you to stay in the car.” He snapped at me. My forehead creased and the wrinkle over my nose became more prominent.

“What the hell! You leave me in that hot ass car with no keys or anything for a fucking hour and expect me to be okay with it?” He must have been out of his rabid ass mind.

“Whatever man.” He said turning his back on me, pissing me off to even greater heights. I grabbed his shoulder and pulled on it, causing him to stagger backwards. “What the fuck yo!” He yelled, yanking away from my grip.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked. A confused look held my face hostage as I tried to figure out what could be the matter with him. It was evident that he was under the influence of something. Breaking the stare, he reached down and picked up a clear bag filled with what I surmised as cocaine. My mouth hung open as a scowl etched its way on my face. “You told me you didn‘t do that shit, Trey.” I said, referring to the altercation we had last month when I asked him if he was dealing. The fucker looked me dead in the eye and told me no. I hated to be lied to; it wasn’t like I was going to judge him for it.

“Ama-” He started.

“Just save it.” I said before storming out of the building. I went to his car, grabbed all my shit, and began walking out of the parking lot. As I made it out onto the main highway, on the sidewalk, I heard Trey calling after me. Ignoring him, I sped up my pace in hopes to get out of his view so that he wouldn’t come after me.

“Baby!” I heard him say; his voice was closer this time but I didn’t use that as an excuse to slow down, only to keep walking faster. I felt his hand enclose my wrists and immediately, I jerked away from his hold.

“Leave me the hell alone Trey!” I screamed at him. Not taking heed to my words, he attempted to grab me again. This time, I swung at him and smacked him square in the face. His jaw muscles bunched together and his grip on me tightened. In that instant, his entire apologetic demeanor turned sour.

“Amanda, you hit me again and I swear I‘ll lay your ass out in the middle of the street.” His words made my body go numb and my movements stilled.

“You wouldn‘t dare.” I challenged him, hating the way my voice trembled of fear.

“Don‘t fuck with it.” He growled. For the first time since I’ve known Trey, I became terrified of him. I began to pull my wrists away from him only to have his grip on me tighten furthermore. The pain from his massive hands around my small wrists seared throughout my entire arm, causing me to wince in agony.

“Get the hell off me.” I demanded, trying to stand my grounds. I was slowly shrinking beneath his hard glare.

“Get your ass back in that parking lot.” He asserted firmly. Once he let me go, I began running in the opposite direction, away from the parking lot. Just as I was about to cross the street, he grabbed the back of my book bag and violently pushed me against the fence that barricaded the club parking lot from the highway.

“Trey, you‘re hurting me, stop it.” I pleaded. He held me in place with his own body and shouted in my ear, nearly deafening me in the process.

“Don‘t you fucking run from me!”

“Why are you acting like this Trey? What has gotten into you?” Tati warned me about his temperamental ways but I have never known it to be this bad. He shook his head and began pulling me towards the club. I pulled back with all of my weight but to no avail. Trey was nearly two times my size in height and weight.

Once we got to the car, I punched him again to let go of me and he grabbed me, shoving me into the side of his car forcefully. The force caused me to scream out loud and the tears slowly seeped pass my eyelids.

“Trey, what the fuck are you doing nigga?” Trey was violently yanked from in front of me and turned around to face an angry looking Jarell. “The fuck is your problem?” He and Trey had a stare off which resulted in Trey directing his glare towards me before shifting his eyes to the ground. Jarell then turned to me and spoke the first sentence directed to me, other than the occasional ‘hey’ I got whenever I was with Trey.

“Are you okay Amanda?” He asked with a sympathetic look. I shot Trey an evil glare before shaking my head no. If this was what being in a relationship was all about, then I was better off alone. I picked up my book bag and placed it back onto my shoulders, readjusting the strap. I gathered my other things quietly and glared at Trey one last time.

“Don‘t you ever, in your life say another word to me. Lose my number and forget what the hell I look like. Don’t call me no more and don’t text me no more.” I told him before storming off. I wasn’t a stranger of city transportation and I wasn’t about let it go to waste tonight. Trey would go down in my long list of memories as the first and last attempt of a relationship. As of tonight, I was through.

Chapter Seven

Ever since Trey and I got back together, we’ve been more distant towards one another. The day we got back together was the first time we had sex. I must admit, he was everything but disappointing. He was certainly better than Chris; a hell of a lot better. I tried not to think about it because I found myself craving his touch more with each thought.

I haven’t really had time to do anything but get ready for my graduation. Since I procrastinated for so long, I had to put in overtime. I had to send out invitations and make sure all of my senior dues were paid. Then there was graduation practice, scholarship and college applications to fill out and on top of all that, our English Teacher went bonkers with our final research paper. For the whole month, I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Today was the one day I had to myself. It was five o’clock Saturday morning and I was in bed eating a huge bowl of cereal. It was too early to go anywhere so I was just chilling, watching Disney Channel. During Commercial, my cell phone rang and without looking, I answered it.

“Hey baby.” He greeted, bringing a smile upon my lips.

“Hey Trey.” I answered, happy that I wasn’t asleep unless I would be pissed off at him for waking me up. I loved to sleep and hated whenever someone woke me up.

“You still at your dad‘s house?” He asked with anticipation hidden in his voice.

“Yeah, why?” I asked with a finite smile playing about my face.

“Damn man, I miss you.” He grunted, making me hot. Biting down on my bottom lip, I looked out my window to see my dad’s Bentley parked in his driveway. He should be leaving in a few and since he lived way on the other side of town, by the time Trey got over here, my dad would be gone.

“You think you can be over here in an hour?” I asked him. I could almost hear the smile form on his face as he spoke.

“Shit no doubt.” As he said the words, I could hear his keys jingle in the background. I chuckled at his enthusiasm to see me and grinned harder as if I possibly could stretch my mouth any wider than it already was.

“If his car isn’t gone by the time you get here call me.” I told him before we hung up with each other. The smile on my face was permanent and watching TV became a hard task for me. I got out of the bed and dumped my things into the sink, leaving them for the housekeeper my dad hired a while back.

My dad was a Cardiovascular Surgeon and my mom was a housewife the whole time they were married. She had hobbies that she got paid for under the table like baking and cooking. She was also a seamstress and made some of the most beautiful clothing you could think of. Now that they were divorced, she lived off her talents and the alimony checks she received once a month.

My dad rarely had time to do anything but whenever he did, he made sure we had a blast doing whatever he planned for us. He was a great guy, once you got past his tough, judgmental exterior.

A knock on my door jarred my thoughts and made me jump slightly. Stretching, I stood up and walked over to the door to reveal by dad standing before me clad in his famous sea green colored scrubs.

“Hey princess.” He greeted, kissing me on my forehead; his rough beard scratched my skin gently. I smiled and hugged him briefly, allowing him access into my room.

“Hey, you leaving?” I asked, knowing the answer already. He gave me a look before taking a seat on my bed and I followed suit, resting my head on his shoulder.

“No, I just like to lounge around in my scrubs on a Saturday morning.” He responded sarcastically. I chuckled at him and shook my head. He was the most sarcastic person I knew besides Trey and myself. Most of the time his sarcasm was funny but other times, it was irritating as hell, especially when I wanted to be serious.

“You know what I meant.” I said as he laughed. He kissed my forehead and gave me a sideways hug, nearly crushing me, not that I minded.

“Be good. No boys and no boys.” He said as I laughed at him. “Go ahead and laugh, just as long as you listen to what I say.”

“Whatever.” I said as he ruffled my hair.

“I got cameras all in this room so don‘t try no double oh seven shit either.” He joked. He had cameras in and out of the house but none was in my room because he didn’t want to see a part of me he hasn’t seen since I was a baby.

“Sure you do.” I said laughing. He patted my shoulder and walked out of the room after bidding me farewell. No sooner than after he left, I heard my phone ringing. Without answering, I looked outside to see Trey’s car parked across the street. Ignoring the ringing phone, I opened both windows and ran down two flights of stairs and down the foyer to the front door. Immediately, I jumped up on Trey without warning and greeted him with a kiss.

“Damn girl.” He laughed. He carried me all the way up to my room where we both curled up together in my small bed. Since I rarely stayed the night at my dad’s house I still had the same twin size bed from middle school. At my mom’s house, I had a king size waiting for my return.

“What did you do yesterday?” I asked, making conversation while tracing the tat he had along his bicep. The tattoo was a picture or a demented looking jester, holding a deck of cards in a hand that was a replica of a skeletons’. It was cool but weird at the same time. Down on his wrist he had his mother’s initials going along a thorn bush.

“Shit.” He replied lazily. Whenever he responded with curt answers, I knew that meant that he was out in the streets again. Not pressing the issue, I changed the subject quickly.

“Did this hurt?” I asked him, running my fingers delicately across the lines that made up the hat of the jester. He looked down at it briefly and shrugged.

“A little.” He told me.

“I want a Tattoo.” I told him. Ever since I was a kid, I was fascinated with body art. It was so erotic and sexy, which was why I enjoyed looking at Trey for hours at a time.

“Nah.” He said with a vehement shake of his head.

“Why not?” I frowned.

“I don‘t want you to tarnish that pretty body of yours.” He said with a smirk. I smiled at his answer and muzzled him in his neck. Giggly softly, I bit down into his neck. He jumped slightly and chuckled under his breath.

There was something about Trey that made me want to place my mouth on him all the time. As if I was a vampire, I began sucking the life out of his neck. Drawing back, I revealed a sizable, red hickey. Leaving marks on him was my way of telling the world that he was taken, even in my absence.

Straddling him, I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him softly on the lips. I savored the taste of his bottom lip as I nibbled gently on it. His big hands found its way to my hips and nestled in the groove of my waist before giving it a small squeeze. His hands then moved to my thigh where he began to stroke the outer perimeters of it slowly. His gentle caresses released a moan from deep within me and I purred into his mouth, breaking the kiss. I held his head as he traveled down to my neck; the feel of his lips against the sensitivity of my neck caused my hips to buck against him and my back arched, closing what little gap between us. The longer he sucked on my neck, the more riled up I became.

Somewhere in the heat of passion, he managed to undress me completely. Hovering over me, he ran his tongue down the length of my body. Holding my legs apart with his hands and gripping my thighs, he gave a slow sensual lick up my clit. My moan was so loud; it was well on its way to evolving into a scream. I writhed under his firm grip and arched my neck and back; clutching the back of his head, I pushed him closer to my love-hole. He bit softly onto my clit and ran his tongue across it. Closing my eyes and biting into my bottom lip, I moaned his name. Slowly his tongue entered my hole and I nearly jumped out of my skin. His tongue retreated, making me groan in dissatisfaction.

“Don‘t stop!” I yelled at him breathlessly. I pushed my hips toward his face in order to encourage him to keep going. He chuckled at my desperate state and buried his face in my gut. I screamed at his suddenness and nearly broke my back from arching it so forcefully. My stomach quivered and receded as an involuntary moan found its way from within my voice box.

“Don‘t hold back baby.” He commanded, mumbling against my flesh. He raised one leg slightly higher than the other; delving deeper inside causing me to reach my breaking point. My hips shook violently as I squirted all over his face.

Taking time to catch my breath, I drew my legs up to my chest and lied comfortably on my side. Trey hovered over my listless body and turned me over so that I was lying flat on my stomach. He knelt down behind me and pulled my hips up close to his midsection. He then reached under me, rubbing his index and middle fingers across my lips. I clutched the sheets tightly between my chests and closed my eyes, fighting the moan that threatened to escape my other lips.

His masculine nails dug deep into my ass cheeks and with one hard thrust, he entered me from behind. His girth filled me to capacity and his head nearly broke my cervix. I nearly choked on life as a blood-curdling scream ruptured my vocal cords. I bit down on my lip until I could taste that familiar salty taste. Without sparing me any mercy, he slid in and out of me vigorously, pulling my hair and spanking me every chance he got. As I neared my peak, my voice began to give out from screaming so loud.

“Trey…oh my God…Trey!” I screamed hoarsely, not able to say what I was trying to get out. He grunted into my ear and delved deeper, using only his hips to guide himself in and out of me with ease.

“Let that shit flow bay.” He instructed. A tear escaped my tightly shut eyelids and the veins in my neck became more prominent just before my floodgates opened and I came everywhere. Seconds after, I felt him swell inside of me before warming the lower section of my belly. I regained my breath one huff at a time before drifting off to sleep.




“Baby…Mandy, wake up.” I heard Trey say while he shook my body into oblivions. I grimaced and buried my face further into the pillow.

“Trey, I’m tired, leave me alone.” I groaned, swatting his hand away from my shoulder.

“Girl, your dad is outside.” His statement caused my eyes to pop open and the sleep that claimed me mere seconds ago was now gone without a trace. I got out of bed and looked out the window. Just like he said, my dad was walking up the driveway.

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was three in the afternoon. “Trey, why didn‘t you wake me up earlier?” I asked him.

“I just woke up when I heard him pull up.” He told me. I frowned and thought of a way to sneak him out without being caught by my dad or one of the cameras.

“Follow me.” I told him, going into my closet.

“Baby, I’m not about to do no R. Kelly shit.” He said as I shook my head. I closed the closet door and shoved my stuff to the side, revealing a door.

“Go through there and down the steps until you see two doors. Go through the left door and that will lead you outside, wait by the door until I call you.” I told him as he smirked.

“Sneaky ass.” He said as I laughed. He pulled me to him and kissed me, slipping his tongue into my mouth. As we deepened the kiss, I heard my room door open and my dad walk in.

“Amanda?”

“Shit, go.” I said breaking the kiss and pushing him through the door. He turned to give me one more peck on the lips and ran off. I closed the door and pushed my clothes and other junk back over it before walking out of the closet.

“Hey daddy!” I greeted with a big smile. I wasn’t smiling because of his presence; I was smiling because I was glad my ass didn’t get caught. I was especially grateful that I opened the windows or else he would have smelled the evidence of my wrong doings.

“What were you doing in there?” He asked with a skeptical look, skimming the room with his eyes for any discrepancies.

“I was rummaging through some of my old stuff.” I told him. He nodded and thankfully, dropped the subject. Had he decided to grill me, I would have caved under pressure.

“Oh, okay. You want to go get something to eat?” He asked. Being that the only thing I ate all day was Honey Nut Cheerios, I was famished.

“Sure!” I said with a huge grin.

“Well, let me go take a shower and get dressed, I should be ready in about an hour and a half.” He informed me. I nodded and waited for him to walk out before making a mad dash for my phone.

“Did he notice?” Trey asked as soon as he answered the phone, not giving me a chance to speak. I shook my head as if he could see me before speaking.

“Nope.” I said with a smirk as he laughed. “He‘s in the shower,” I told him. “and I‘m about to take one too.” I hinted.

“Girl, if I keep fucking with you, you‘re going to get my ass shot up.” He joked lightly.

“Come on baby, my dad takes the longest showers.” I whined.

“Aman—” I interrupted him before he could protest.

“Please.” I half begged, half moaned into the phone. He finally gave in and I hung up happily. The door at the bottom of my secret escape route didn’t open from the outside, so I had to let him in. I opened the door, just as he tossed his cigarette, or whatever it was that he was smoking. He came up to me and kissed me in the mouth. I grimaced and pulled back from him scornfully.

“Ew, Trey! Yucky!” I said, referring to the smoke on his breath. He smiled at me and apologized.

“My bad baby,” He said before we walked back up the stairs to begin round two of what we started earlier this morning.

Chapter Eight



As I sat in the auditorium, I fidgeted in my seat, waiting for the moment that they began calling out the names of the graduates. A few rows ahead of me sat Tatiana; every now and then, she’d turn around sneakily and give me a bright smile before snapping her head back around to pretend she’s paying attention.

I skimmed as much of the crowd as I could to see if I could spot my family. They were supposed to be seated so that they’d be the first thing I saw once I exited the stage. True to their word, they were right on the sidelines next to the stage, grinning and waving at me. My mom was standing up the entire time with a video camera clad in her hands.

“Damn, he’s sexy.” I heard the girl next to me mumble. Following her eyes, I spotted Trey, with a sexy smirk, staring in our direction. When he saw that I was staring at him, he winked at me and blew me a kiss. I smiled widely and returned it.

“I think he’s flirting with me.” The girl stated giddily. I rolled my eyes at her ignorance and laughed.

“That’s my baby.” I said with a toothy grin, putting an end to her hopeless fantasies. She turned to look at me and shot me a stink look before sucking her teeth. I simply ignored her and continued with my perpetrating of actually paying attention to the service.


“There‘s my favorite baby!” My mom shouted once I walked out of the building with my diploma in hand. Immediately, cameras began flashing, nearly blinding me. I took pictures with everyone in my family before I saw any signs of Trey or Tati.

“Oh no, tell me that boy isn’t about to come over here.” My dad groaned.

“Be quiet! Pookie, go get Trey so that you two can take a picture together.” My mom ordered. I didn’t have to walk far, being as though Trey was merely inches away from us. I grabbed his hand and yanked him over to me with a violent jerk. I kissed his cheek and about a dozen photos were taken at that moment alone. We did a couple of poses before Tati joined in. She and Trey took some pictures alone and then the three of us took one.

In the midst of taking billions of photos, I looked a little to the left and my heart jumped at the sight of Jarell walking towards us with balloons in his hands. For a brief, imaginative moment, I actually thought that he was here for me, but then I remembered that he knew Tati and not me.

“Congratulations.” He spoke, giving Tati two of the four balloons. She smiled and hugged him, placing a small kiss on his forehead. Once he let her go, he turned to me and passed the remaining two balloons to me. Shocked, I stood there for a moment before accepting them.

“Aw, thanks.” I smiled wider than ever. “You didn’t have to.” I added, holding the strings tightly so that they wouldn’t slip away.

“You’re welcome.” He said with a small smile. I grinned cheekily and turned to Trey with a frown now on my face.

“How come you ain‘t get me nothing?” I asked him, with an added punch on his shoulder. An amused frown graced his features as he held his arm playfully and stared down at me. A slow smirk then appeared on his face as he leaned in close to my ear.

“I got something better for you later on.” His words made me blush as I bit down on my bottom lip. My smile faltered whenever my eyes encountered the menacing orbs of my father. I quickly turned away and looked back at Trey, who was oblivious to my dad staring us down like hawks.

Once the hype quelled, instead of leaving with Trey, I left with my family and Tati, who was invited to eat at my house. Trey and Jarell were invited also but they had to go somewhere. I promised both of them that I’d save them a plate, which I will, if any food was left by the time my greedy family was finished.

The whole time Tati and I were at my house, we couldn’t stop thinking and talking about what was to go down tonight. I already had plans to spend the night with them so I was free to do whatever.

“Girl, Mandy, we got to find you something cute to wear.” She said swimming in my closet. I laughed at how antsy she was but I couldn’t blame her. We were in for a long night and everything had to be perfect, if not, then we at least had to be. Once she emerged from my closet, I saw that she had one of the hoochiest outfits known to man in her hand. “Perfect!”

“I haven‘t worn that since the ice ages, and even then, I wore stuff with it to cover my nakedness.” I told her with a small roll of the eyes.

“Girl, you‘ll have Trey whooping plenty of asses in this.” She said laughing.

“Hell nah, Trey wouldn‘t let me leave the bathroom with that on.” I laughed with her.

“Fuck him, you are grown and you can do whatever the hell you want to.”

“I am not about to wear that dress, you can see right through it. Besides, it was made to sleep in anyways.” After losing my virginity, I became wild for a period; that explained some of the revealing things I still had in the depths of my closet. I didn’t have sex with anyone but Chris, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be a tease. That lasted for a while until something happened that calmed my ass down dramatically.

“Let me drive your car since you don‘t like to drive it.” She suggested once I was packed up and ready to leave this land of boredom. I nodded with an added shrug to my shoulders.

“I bet the engine has cobwebs and stuff by now.” I joked. When I started high school, my dad bought me a 2006 Lexus coupe that wasn’t even released yet until two years later. I loved the car but never drove it due to off the chart gas prices. I had no job and even though I could easily leach of my dad, I chose not to. I wasn’t that type of person, although at times, I’ve been tempted.

Arriving at her house, Tati was greeted with about a dozen cars parked on her yard. Frowning, I turned to her for answers, only to get a puzzled look from her too. She actually had to park across the street because of the lack of space in the yard.

“I thought you said it was supposed to be at a club.” I stated as she shrugged.

“I thought so too.” She said. “People are probably just meeting here before they head over to the Kush Lounge.” She said as we grabbed our things and headed for her house. Entering, we were greeted with the smell of weed and alcohol. Tati looked as if she was used to it all, I on the other hand became slightly nervous.

I haven’t been in this type of environment for so long that I’ve almost become uptight about it. I wanted to leave before I lost the self-control I’ve worked so hard to regain over the years. The smell of weed was so tantalizing that I could almost taste it as much as I could smell it. I could feel the alcohol burning my chest right now and I could taste it on my tongue.

“Wassup baby?” I heard Trey slur from behind me. I turned around quickly to see him standing there with chink eyes, leaned back with his arms folded. If there was a word other than sexy to describe him I would use it. However, there wasn’t any.

“Hey Trey.” I said, walking into his arms as he unfolded them in a gesture to hug me. I inhaled the mixture of weed and alcohol that was imbedded in his clothes, enjoying every minute of his presence. I was beginning to think he wasn‘t here.

“What took yall so long to get here?” He asked, breathing into my neck. His hot breath against my neck made me moist in areas that were normally dry. I almost hated the affect he had on me, yet I loved it at the same time. He made me weak, which was good, but bad whenever he wanted something out of me.

“I had to find something to wear.” I told him, my voice was muffled by his shoulder since it was pressed near my mouth. Inhaling deeply, he let go of the majority of my body, still hanging on to my hips.

“Damn girl.” He mumbled, taking in a full body view of me.

“What?” I asked; he shook his head and began backing away from me. When I stood still, he beckoned me with his fingers.

“Follow me.” The way his voice increased in bass and the way that wanton smirk played about his lips, I knew what was to be next and I couldn’t say that I minded; couldn’t say I minded at all.




The average summer day consisted of me hanging out with either Tati or Trey at their house. Most of the time Tati was out with her boyfriend Torrance leaving me alone with Trey. However, Trey would sometime leave early in the morning and come in late at night. Since he blew up on me the last time I mentioned something about him selling drugs, I decided not to even bother questioning where he was. I had other things to worry about besides his location.

Unlike the rumors I’ve heard, Jarell wasn’t anything people depicted of him. Many thought that he was right along with Trey in the drug trade but from eavesdropping on their convos, I learned that he wanted no part in what Trey did which was smart. Why they were friends was beyond me. They were totally different, almost like oil and water but somehow, they blended well.

Another thing I noticed was that Jarell spent a lot of his time at Trey’s house as well. While he normally remained downstairs, I hogged either Tati or Trey’s room; most of the time, I was in Trey’s. We have still yet to speak more than three words to one another. At least now it wasn’t as awkward for me to be around him as it was before hand.

As of right now, I sat on Trey’s bed with a bowl of cereal while watching Disney Channel. During commercials, I couldn’t help but to stare at the picture of the female that was placed neatly on Trey’s dresser. It bugged the hell out of me not knowing who she was. I know she wasn’t just a random girl he knew but I couldn’t get him to tell me what importance she held in his life.

I’ve been trying to get Trey to open up to me but he barely says anything to me…on an intellectual level. I didn’t mind at first but lately, I’ve been wondering why the hell I was even hanging around. What I knew about Trey came from me observing him and what Tati has told me. It was like I was in a relationship with a brick wall; he was just there. I loved being with him and I enjoyed his company…whenever he was around.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t be that nagging girlfriend that always wanted attention or the one that would never shut up but lately, it seems like I may have to turn into that to get some type of response out of Trey. He was the perfect person to hang and joke with but he lacked personality when it came to serious subjects.

He didn’t even talk about his mom for goodness sake.

Last week I tried to tell him that maybe we would be better off as friends. He was definitely not hearing any of what I had to say. He confused the hell out of me with everything. He wanted me here, yet he made no efforts at keeping me here. It wasn’t like I wanted a fully detailed biography of his entire life span, I just wanted to know different things about the person that orbited throughout my life.

Come to think of it, I don’t even know his favorites. I barely knew him.

Red was his favorite color and he loved the hell out of fried chicken. His temper reared its ugly head every once and a while but other than that, he was one of the sweetest people I knew. As much as I adored Trey, I don’t know how much more I could take of him. Was it normal to feel this way? Should I give him a chance or would I be wasting my time if I stuck with him?

“Bay, you sleep?” Trey asked, disrupting my serene trance. I had my eyes closed the whole time while I thought about various things that went on in my life. Trey obviously being the primary target of most of my thoughts.

“No.” I answered. My words gave him permission to slide in behind me and wrap his arms around me, digging his chin into the curve of my neck and shoulder. I remained stiff for a few seconds before I finally exhaled, making myself more comfortable in his hold.

There was something different about him that I sensed the moment he opened his mouth. This sudden change in the atmosphere alerted me. Turning in his arms to face him, I took a good look at him. Being that I had my back turned to the door when he came in, I missed the scar right under his eye and near the corner of his mouth.

Although the scars were small, they weren’t unnoticed. I scanned his entire physique to make sure nothing else was out of place. Just as I was about to look away, I noticed a jagged tear on the side of his shirt. Peering into the hole, I took note of a huge, purple bruise that looked pretty damn bad for him to be laying here as if nothing happened.

“Trey…what happened?” I asked him. My forehead was now creased with slight wrinkles caused by my frown. His eyes opened slightly, to peer up at me and just as suspected, they closed again as he shook his head.

“Don‘t worry about it.” Those were the words I hated the most coming from him. I hated whenever he just dropped the subject, leaving me clueless about everything that was happening. Trey was so tight lipped, he could be dying of Cancer and I wouldn’t know until the damn Autopsy.

“Trey, this is ridiculous. What good am I to you if you don‘t tell me anything? What am I here for, my health? Why won‘t you talk to me?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Shit I don‘t know; whatever the hell you want to tell me. Whatever the hell you‘re going through, I want to be there for you so you won‘t feel like you‘re in it by yourself.” The room fell silent while my words hung in the air. He closed his eyes again as if he were contemplating on whether to open up and tell me, or revert into the shell he’d grown accustomed. If it were the latter, I’d seriously lose my mind.

“I got into a fight.” He said. A ‘Class A Retard’ could figure that much out but hey, it was a start. When he didn’t continue, I decided to help him along.

“With who?” My voice came out softer than I intended.

“Some nigga.” He responded. I opened my mouth to encourage him to go on but he did so on his own. “He wouldn‘t pay me so I had to take it from him. He wanted to be dumb and fight back so…” His voice trailed off and a heavy feeling developed in my lower abdomen. Swallowing hard, I debated whether to leave the subject alone.

“You didn‘t do anything stupid though, right?” His eyes opened again and gazed at me with an emotionless expression.

“No.” He said as I let out a sigh of relief. The way his jaw clenched told me that he was fighting the urge to say more. I caught onto it and decided not to provoke him, all it would do is lead into an argument, an argument I wasn’t up for today.

“Does it hurt? Do you need me to get anything for you?” I asked him. All I got was a lousy shake of the head and a low, inaudible mumble that I couldn’t make out. He went to turn on his side but I stopped him. “Trey, are you sure you’re okay? Your lip doesn‘t look too good.” I pressed. A warning glare was all I needed to shut me up. If he wanted to sit in pain, then I would go right on and let him. His reaction towards me only gave me another reason why I wanted out. Maybe I was being irrational but hey, he was the one that wouldn’t let me near him emotionally.

“You know what, I‘m out.” I said, sliding from under the covers. Since I was already dressed in a wife beater and shorts, I slid on my sandals, which was by the door and swung the door open. I paused for a moment after coming face to face with Jarell, debating if I should just storm pass him or say something. This nigga always seemed to know when the hell to pop up. It was almost scary.

“Wassup?” He greeted. Shocked a little, I took a while to respond. Normally, it would be me to be the first one to say hey…maybe he was finally getting used to me.

“Hey Jarell.” I said with a warm smile. My crush for him has almost shrunk into a smidgen of nothing. I still thought he was gorgeous but as of now, there were no feelings left for him. I was too busy keeping up with Trey to have a crush on anyone else.

Walking past him, I ignored Trey as he attempted to call after me to come back. As I descended the stairs, I twisted my hair into a makeshift ponytail made up of my own hair and grabbed my car keys off the coffee table where I left them. Yes…I actually drove. This summer, the temperature reached maximum highs and I’d be crazy if I was caught walking in this heat. Normally the heat didn’t bother me but this was ridiculous.

“Yo, what‘s wrong with you?” Trey asked, coming from nowhere to grab my arm, preventing me from getting inside of my car.

“Trey, get the hell off me.” I scoffed while yanking away from him. I only got out of his grip because he willingly let me loose. I tried once again to get away but he stopped me, this time moving in front of me to block my path.

“What‘s wrong?” He asked.

“Oh, so now you want to talk?” I stated sarcastically. He shot me a ‘don’t play with me girl’ look that I returned with more frustration present on my face. For a while, we both stared each other down, not wanting to give in to the other. Finally, he looked away and sighed exasperatedly.

“Yo, why does it matter so much to you about what goes on with me? I go through the same shit every damn day, it‘s not gonna change, Mandy.” Trey said.

“Okay…and? I care about you…therefore, I care about the shit you do. Damn, why are you being so difficult Trey? You‘re acting as if I want you to write a 16 page essay on what the fuck you do and how the hell you do it. I‘m in a relationship with you but I barely know you Trey. You probably know me like the back of your damn hand by now whereas I don’t even know the simplest thing about you. It‘s like you‘re pushing me away before I can even get close to you.” Silence fell upon us like a suffocating blanket. He held this blank look on his face that I wasn’t able to read to save my life. I didn’t know whether he actually heard me or if he was off in his own little world.

“You know what, just forget it.” I threw my hands up in the air and turned on my heels, and slid my body into the front seat of my car and started it. “Will you move?” I snapped angrily at him. He gave me a look before stepping back slowly. I shook my head and slammed the door, reversing out of his driveway and out of his damn life.