It’s been three months.

They’re not officially broken up, but they’re definitely not together anymore.

Bell calls every night.

She doesn’t pick up.

He leaves a message.

“It’s me.”

Tells her about his day.

“I’m really not sure what the jury’s gonna do. This guy’s obviously guilty but… damn, even I cried when he was on the stand.”

He always asks about her day.

“I heard you and Valens closed that double homicide from ’86. Was it really the priest who did it?”

And then he says goodbye.

“I miss you.”

Kat listens to every message. But she doesn’t pick up. And she never calls back.

Late at night, when Veronica’s fast asleep, she slips into her bathroom, shuts the door, turns on the faucet, and cries.

***

It’s been three months.

They’re not officially broken up, but they’re definitely not together anymore.

He calls every night.

Kat doesn’t pick up.

He leaves a message.

“It’s me.”

Tells her about his day.

“I hate Saturdays. I don’t know why, but I just do. Maybe I’m lonely,” he says, as his voice cracks just a little bit. But she’ll only hear that if she listens closely. If she listens at all.

He always asks about her day.

“There’s a great Picasso exhibit at the art museum. Have you taken V yet?” A short pause. “If not, I’d love… well, it looks amazing, you two should go. It looks amazing.”

And then he says goodbye.

“I miss you.”

It’s only when he hangs up that he registers the deafening quiet of his condo.

She never stayed over too often, but somehow when he was with her, his house seemed more like a home. Even when he was alone he could hear her laugh ringing in his ears. And it made the loneliness and the dark seem much less overwhelming.

But that was over now.

Or at least, it seemed like it was all over.

Sometimes he hated the uncertainty and wished she would just call him up and say it. Say what they both knew was coming. He’d get mad and very drunk and even consider confronting her.

But then he’d see her and the thought of her actually ending what they had… could have had, made his heart beat faster and his throat go dry. Once he’d even ducked into an occupied interview room to avoid her just in case she’d been drinking the courage juice and really did want to dump him.

All of this ran through his head every night, while he sipped a good scotch and waited for her to call him back. In vain.

***

Bell was talking to Lilly when he heard the commotion. He might not have even turned around if she hadn’t yelped.

Kat Miller was not the kind of fragile woman to cry out when a perp tried to bumrush her and make an escape. But the idiot knocked her into the doorframe and the collision caused her to cry out just a little bit.

His head turned immediately at the sound. She made the same noise when she stubbed her toe on his coffee table the first night she spent over his house.

His stomach clenched.

By the time he reached her, a couple of uniforms had grabbed the perp and shoved him into the nearest interview room. And even though he was pissed at that jackoff for pushing her, he couldn’t think about him. He couldn’t think about anything else but her.

“You alright,” he said, reaching out to touch her back, where he assumed she collided with the wall.

She twisted her left arm to rub her back and their fingers touched lightly. He stared at the point where their skin met.

“I’m fine,” she said and pulled away from his touch.

When she turned around to face him, he could swear he saw relief in her eyes, that she was happy to see him. Happy to feel him near.

But then it vanished and things were back to normal. Or, at least, things were back to what was passing for normal between them these days.

He felt his heart break just a little bit more.

“Alright,” he said, just barely able to meet her eyes for a second.

“You ok,” Lilly said, appearing at his elbow.

“Yea,” said Kat.

“What was that all about?”

Kat shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess the genius thought if he could get away from me, he could make it out the front door without anyone noticing he was cuffed.” She smirked and he felt a distinct but vague tingle in his groin.

“Oh yea,” Lilly said, lightheartedly, “three floors up. He definitely had a shot at freedom.”

They laughed, but all Bell could offer was that small, dim grin that he saved for interrogations to make people relax around the dumb ADA.

Kat turned her head towards him and caught a glimpse of the smile she hated so much. The smile that made her certain he was hiding something from her even when they were alone and he was baring his soul.

Her own smile faded.

“I gotta-” she started, already trying to figure a way to escape without getting any closer to him than necessary. “I gotta go check on Einstein in there.” She pushed through the small space between Lilly and the wall and ducked into the interview room.

“What are you still high…” Bell heard her say as the door closed behind her.

 He stared at the wall as if he could see her through it, unable to tear his eyes away.

“You two still…” Lilly said, her voice trailing off into the uncertain bog that so perfectly defined his relationship with Kat.

“Yea,” he said, all seriousness, not even able to affect some sort of witty distraction.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said, her voice full of pity.

“Yea,” he replied, finally pulling his eyes from the door. “Me too.”

***

It’s been three months.

They’re not officially broken up, but they’re definitely not together anymore.

Bell calls every night to tell her about his day. He always asks about her day and then he says goodbye.

But this time she picks up.

She doesn’t know what he’s going to say. She’s not even sure what she’ll say.

But she picks up nonetheless.