Rochelle

I never put much thought into making someone else’s life a living hell. I was calculated, yes. I could also be a stone cold bitch when I wanted. But making another human being’s life miserable had never seriously crossed my mind until recently. I wasn’t sure what had come over me lately. The wedding had been a week ago and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was headed down a road I wasn’t entirely sure I could follow and not lose myself in the process.

Befriending Kaleesa had been like moving a chess piece, all a part of the strategy. I’d had it in my mind that I’d lure her into some false sense of security and then pull the rug out from under her. I hadn’t really formed a plan as to how I was going to do it but then I took a step back and analyzed my motives. Why was I so upset with Kaleesa? How would getting back at her help anyone? And more selfishly, how would that help me? I wanted to work on mine and Jonathan’s friendship, first and foremost. I couldn’t let Tayla and James come back to a dysfunctional family, not that we were all that functional to begin with.

I needed time alone with him to sort out my own feelings and be completely sure about whatever I decided. I had no right to ask for his time, as I had been pushing him away all these months but I knew that was my only chance. Pushing him away hadn’t helped and ignoring the whole situation hadn’t done a damn thing. Maybe I needed a new tactic.

Similarly, in tenth grade when I had run for student council president, Janice Kellerman was my competition and a damn good opponent being that it was a measly student-run organization. She wasn’t the nicest of girls but she also wasn’t as ruthless as I was; a trait that I possessed with utmost certainty. The problem was, I had a conscience that sounded exactly like my mother — accent and all. Rochelle, now you know it is not right for you to do this. Win with dignity.

So, I chucked my plans for world domination and began my campaigning. I only hoped it would be enough, as most of the kids in school feared me, thought I was stuck up, or maybe even both. But as luck would have it, I didn’t need to do much of anything besides sit and watch the situation unfold. The day of elections came and Janice’s name was listed under the Vice President’s section. She’d been outraged at first, until she’d won the seat. Being the only other person vying for president, I had won unopposed. Of course people had suspected me, but I hadn’t done a thing. I let fortune be my guide and it had paid off. At least back then I had a clear cut idea of what I wanted, unlike now. I wasn’t sure which way was even up at the moment. My mind was spinning a mile a minute and I couldn’t get a firm grasp on what I was feeling emotionally.

Did I want John, or didn’t I want him? Your guess was as good as mine. All I knew was that I had to stop running and see if he was, in fact, the guy for me. I had a right to explore whatever feelings I had for him and see if they could possibly blossom into something more. I was fully prepared for rejection. I had to finally put on my big girl panties and face this. Running was no longer an option.

Besides, my mother’s voice in my head wouldn’t be quiet long enough for me to stop and think about any other option but this one.

It was Thursday before I decided to call Jonathan, just to make friendly conversation. To see if there was any hope of having a civil conversation or salvaging what was left of the mess I’d made.

“John Denson, Esquire.” A smiled a little at the professional tone of his voice.

It sounded like he was waist deep in work and not paying attention to the read out on his phone. I was positive that any other time, especially after what’d happened at the wedding, that I wouldn’t have gotten such a greeting.

“Hi, Jonathan.”

“Rochelle?” The surprise in his voice was expected. “Hi. What, uh, what’s going on? Is something wrong at Maxwell’s?”

“No, no. Everything is fine here. I was just finishing up some paperwork.”

“Oh.” He paused, as if waiting for me to reveal the true intention of my impromptu phone call.

I cleared my throat to fill the uncomfortable silence. This was going to be much harder than I’d thought.

“Well, I just wanted to call and see how you were.” I closed my eyes at how pathetic I sounded. “Talk to you later.”

“Wait, Rochelle.”

I did as he asked and stayed on the line, anticipating what he’d say next. I don’t think he was even sure of what he wanted to say. But I stayed and waited.

After another long pause, I heard him sigh. “Are you hungry?”

I wasn’t really hungry but I wasn’t going to turn down a chance to share a meal with him. “Sure. How about lunch in twenty minutes?”

“Okay. I’ll pick you up from Maxwell’s.”

“See you in twenty.”

It was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt much lighter than I had in months and a small smile spread across my face as I organized Tayla’s desk and gathered my purse to leave.

****

Kaleesa

Crunching numbers wasn’t my favorite part of the job but when I discovered an anomaly and found a way to correct it, a sense of pride always surged through me. I loved doing algebraic equations to help clear my mind of things. Numbers were a constant. Numbers never changed and equations could always be used to solve even the most ornery of figures. They never talked back, got mad at you or resisted when you were right on the brink of discovery.

Yep, numbers were the perfect companion.

If only they could talk to you when you were feeling down.

I paused my problem-solving and put down my pen with a sigh. My sister and I had gotten into last night over something I could barely remember. But because we could never stay on subject when we argued, the heated discussion switched to my reasoning for not coming to see the family more often.

“You moved out here to be closer to us, yet I feel like I see you less than when you lived across the country,” my sister scolded through the phone.

“Shauna, I’m sorry. I’ve just been—”

“Very busy,” she finished for me. “I know, I know. I’ve heard that excuse before.”

“My work is not an excuse. It’s important to me and I’m just getting started here. Give me a break,” I pleaded, but my tolerance for her attitude was wearing thin.

She may have been older than me, but she wasn’t going to talk to me as if I were one of her children.

“Maybe that’s the problem. I’ve been giving you too many breaks, letting you make too many excuses. You know the fourth anniversary of mom and dad’s death is coming up in a few months?”

I couldn’t have forgotten even if I wanted to.

“Of course I do. Give me credit here.”

“And Audra’s seventh birthday is in two weeks. She’s been asking if you’re even going to make time to be at her party.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing my little niece was more concerned with the party itself than who would actually be there. “Really, Shauna? You think I’d miss my own niece’s birthday? I appreciate you thinking so much of me,” I said sarcastically

“Don’t turn this around on me. You’re the one who hasn’t been around.”

I sucked on my teeth, trying to reign in my growing annoyance before I spoke.

“And I’m about to be the one who ends this conversation.”

With that said, I closed my phone.

It was a childish move, I know, but being chastised like I was the one about to turn seven just irked me to no end. My sister was always the protective type and the trait got even worse after the passing of our parents.

I couldn’t say I didn’t appreciate having someone in the world that cared about me enough to badger me about the things I rarely thought about. She kept on me about a lot of things, but after a while I began to depend on her too much. She began neglecting her own family to make sure I was alright and settled in my new place after my move. Distancing myself had been the only solution. And thankfully, I had her husband, Nick, on my side.

How the man put up with Shauna and stayed sane, I’d never know, but the two we practically made for either. Though exact opposites in every way, they also complimented each other like no other couple I’d seen…until Tayla and James. Couples like those two made me ache for someone I could call my own, someone I could depend to help me through tough situations, be the shoulder to cry on, and make me laugh when it was (and wasn’t) absolutely necessary.

Suddenly, an image of John doing the snake came to mind and had me chuckling to myself. I looked over at my phone and contemplated calling him but decided against it as I picked up my pen again and got back to work.

“Kaleesa Blake.”

I snapped my head up quickly and replaced my goofy smile with a confused frown.

“John? What the—I mean, how did you get here?”

His easy-going grin never wavered as he mocked thoughtfulness. “Would you like the long version or the short version of the birds and the bees talk?”

I snorted and shook my head. “Spare me. What are you doing here?” I began to stand from my chair.

“Oh, I’m—”

“Jonathan, are you ready?” Rochelle asked as she appeared over his shoulder.

She wore a relaxed expression and her eyes seemed clearer than they had in days. That gut-tugging feeling that something sinister was going on in her head didn’t come and I was thankful for it.

However, looking upon them and seeing how good they looked together had something else flashing within me that I fought to ignore.

When he finally looked in her direction and then turned back to me, his smile seemed forced and his eyes were apologetic. “I’ll talk you later, Kaleesa.”

“Feel free to take your lunch now if you want. Everyone else is on break too,” Rochelle said before turning to walk behind John. “Have a good lunch. I’ll be back in an hour.”

All I could do was nod as I picked up my pen again. “You too.”

I watched them exit and returned to my numbers; this time, without the least bit of enthusiasm.

****

Jonathan

Awkward moments were pretty much a staple in my life, but unlike most people, I could talk my way out of the most awkward, mundane situations. I knew that being a lawyer was right up my alley when I was about ten and I could charm my mother out of giving me a whooping when James and I had misbehaved.  Although I felt bad for my brother, because most times mama could see right through James’ charm and would spank him anyway or just for the hell of it, I wouldn’t have traded my rhetorical talents.

But today it seemed I was at a loss for words.

Rochelle had contacted me out of the blue and we had agreed to lunch. I had to admit, I was somewhat excited that she had finally decided to call but something inside told me not to get my hopes up. I had missed Rochelle’s company and I knew she’d also missed mine but too much had gone on between us to just forget the past and start fresh.

There was also Kaleesa.

I had been thinking about her sporadically throughout the entire week since the wedding. It would come at the most odd times; when I was just sitting around not doing much of anything. A funny commercial on TV would prompt a thought about her and I’d grin out of nowhere, thinking of her contagious laugh.

The image would come about so strongly that I’d shake my head just to will it away. The other day I had burned toast in the oven thinking of something funny she’d said last week. My mind had checked out so quickly that when I returned to reality, smoke was coming from my oven and my bread was completely chard.

That had never happened to me. Not even with Rochelle; who was calling my name at the moment.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I blinked.

She raised an eyebrow but repeated herself. “I was just saying I’m glad we’re having lunch together. It’s been too long.”

“Oh, right, yeah. Too long.” I nodded and pushed the pasta around on my plate.

We sat in silence for a long while. Neither one of us spoke or made much eye contact during the meal. It was enough to make me want to scream.

“Why is this so weird?” Rochelle asked, breaking through the unbearable quiet.

I let loose the first real smile since we’d arrived at the restaurant. It was so like Rochelle to say the first thing that came to her mind when she was uncomfortable.

“Because there’s this elephant in the room that you’re ignoring and I’m avoiding talking about because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

She twisted her lip in thought and cast her eyes toward her plate then back up at me. “We just need to get it out there.”

“Okay.” I nodded and cleared my throat. “I love you. And not in the way a brother loves his sister. I’ve felt this way for quite some time and the night of the engagement party just felt right to finally let you know. I was fully prepared for you to stand there blinking, possibly slap me, or hell, even throw your champagne on me. But you just turned and walked away. That, I wasn’t expecting. Then, you started avoiding me like the plague. I was hurt, confused, and pretty much heartbroken.”

Rochelle closed her eyes, trying to absorb the things I was telling her. I could see remorse and guilt in her body language, but that wouldn’t make up for the time I’d spent experiencing those feelings.

“I honestly didn’t know,” she began. “I would like to say that I was fully prepared but I wasn’t. You blindsided me and I didn’t know what else to do. You’re my best friend. You and James are my family, my brothers, and I don’t like the fact that that’s changing. I hate it. So I took the easy way out and tried pretending like it never happened.”

“I guess you see how that one worked out,” I joked, attempting to lighten the mood.

She gave an airy laugh; music to my ears. “Not my proudest moment.”

“So…where do we go from here?” I asked after a lengthy pause.

“I guess we take it slow. See what happens.”

I considered the idea for a moment before I nodded. “I like that plan.”

Once we finished with lunch, I dropped her back off at Maxwell’s. I think we were both feeling much more comfortable around each other again. We’d definitely had to work to get back to the level of comfort we had before but I was sure we were on our way to something good…maybe even more than good; great even.

“Well, I’ll see you later. Thanks for lunch,” she smiled softly.

I leaned over the console to give her a hug and kiss her cheek. I felt her stiffen for a moment; as if I was going to try to kiss her lips instead. The light touch of my mouth against her skin was brief but I knew this meant something new. This was a new chapter for us and I was motivated to see where it was headed.

I lingered a little longer than necessary and I searched her eyes as she pulled away, trying to gauge her reaction. Rochelle gave a tiny smile I wasn’t sure was completely genuine before she thanked me again and exited the vehicle.

I sat in the parking space for a moment, trying to get a handle on what I was feeling. I wasn’t exactly feeling sparks, like I had expected and I wasn’t feeling let down either. I shrugged it off and backed out of the space, wondering if I should call James before he got home or wait to speak with him afterward.