Zoe watched Mal struggle after the torture he had endured. It broke her heart. She had tried to help him but he had only sent her back to her husband. On the third week she had had enough. Wash was still having nightmares and Mal had taken to sleepin in the passenger cabins. Of course no one knew but Zoe.

She had Simon get something for Wash to help him sleep without the dreams. She sat beside him until he fell into a deep sleep. Then she left to find the Captain.

It didn’t take her long. She knew him so well. He lay in the double bed naked. The door was open. Zoe silently closed it and began undressing. Tonight would be the first time they were together since she had married Wash. She wouldn’t regret it. It was her due since Wash was sleeping with Simon

“Zoe, go back to your husband.”  He muttered not opening his eyes.

“My place is here sir.” Slowly she began taking off her clothes.

“If I need servicin’ I’ll get Inara.”

“No you won’t.” Carefully she crawled onto the bed next to him. She knew he was still sore. “Left me a trail a child could find. Doors open and you’re naked.”

“Wash…”

“Wash and I haven’t laid together since his night with Simon.” Mal considered her words for a minute.

“Shoulda married you.” He whispered rolling over on top of her. “Shoulda given you those babies you kept yappin about.”

“You mean when I was twelve.” She laughed until he pushed into her. He was so big. He filled her up and stretched her good.

“Always wet. Always ready for me.” He pressed their bodies closer together until every upward thrust rubbed him against her core. She trembled.

It was always forced with Wash. Like something was off but he wanted a family and Mal didn’t. After two years there were no babies. Zoe was begining to think it was a sign.

It didn’t take long for them to find their end. Mal lay on top of her for a long time. Zoe liked his heavy weight pressing her into the mattress. It had been like this the first time they were together. Right after he got Serenity.

Said it was for her. They cleaned and scrubbed that ship until they were raw. One night she was bathing under a waterfall near their camp when he came to her. They had done it plenty of times. Been naked together but this night he kissed her and touched her in such a way that Zoe was sure she passed out from the pleasure of it.

They were together until he called it off three months later. Said he was too afraid of losing her. She accepted his decision without question.

Then Inara came and Kaylee. They both tried and failed to take him to their beds. Mal left it to Zoe to get them off of him.

Then Wash came and made so many promises’. Zoe wanted to believe them all. The Captain cried when they married. He even cornered her in the cargo bay one night and took what he said was his. Zoe didn’t fight him. His pain came from grief and loss, but she did warn him after that she was no longer his to have.

             Then there was the night that changed everything. They came back early from a mission and caught Wash and Simon in the med bay. Zoe couldn’t say what she felt. Mal could. He attacked Wash. It took Jayne and Sheppard to pull the men apart. It was over, Zoe knew she just needed to let go of him.

            “Ain’t no turning back Zoe. You put your things in my bunk today. Wash can go to Simon. I’ll have Sheppard end it all by tonight. You’re my woman by tomorrow night.” He rolled off of her. Mal was strong and sure not shook up like he had been. “Puttin a baby in you by month’s end. Gotta wave from Aril. Need to claim the land my pa had or the Alliance is gonna take it back. Be a good place to raise a family.”

“Yes, sir.” Settling meant saying bye to River and Simon. Wash and Inara too. Maybe Kaylee. Sheppard would stay, maybe Jayne.

“Gonna take you again soon.”

“Yes sir.”

“Got money saved for feed and such. Can make a good, safe life for you.”

“Yes, sir.” She sighed when his fingers found her core.  “A good life sir.”