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Present Day
I didn’t get in bed until almost five the next morning. Lydia had stayed up past two with me but I finally convinced her she needed her rest. We were both going to be a mess for Mackey the following day. I lay down beside her to watch her sleep with hopes my tiredness would kick in quickly. She had her knees up and her hands under her pillow as she rested in what seemed to be a peaceful slumber. I envied her that right away. I sighed as I counted my blessings; my sweet wife, my beautiful daughter, my devoted brother and sister-in law. They were all people I loved dearly and hoped my desire to find Logan did not drive away. Dean had been so heart broken when he saw what could be going on with his nephew it took all I had to kick him out so he could get some rest. He had enough on his plate without the addition of my issues. I lay on my back as I tried to clear my mind so I could rest. To many thoughts roamed around in my brain, it took every ounce of sanity to focus again on the good in my life before I dozed off.
---
The sun was high in the sky when I finally woke up to see the spot beside me was empty. I looked at the clock with one eye and was shocked to find it was after two in the afternoon. I groaned, I never slept that late; though I knew why it just seemed a bit indecent to be in bed after nine in the morning to me. I rolled over and got up into a sitting position before I went to grab a shower. I was startled to hear the bathroom door close as I rinsed my hair. I squinted as I saw Lydia get in the shower with a grin.
“Hey,” she said as she grabbed the soap.
“Hey yourself,” I said as my heart raced.
She started to rub the soap on a washcloth as she watched me watch her. It had been so long I felt a bit shy. However, my heart and other parts of my anatomy were catching on to the game quickly. I turned around to pick her and push her against the wall. She smiled as she kissed me under the spray of water.
“I missed you,” she said.
I couldn’t speak I could only show her how I had longed for her.
---
Thanks to Cassie and Kara, we had the whole day alone. They were taking care of our daughter while we indulged ourselves. It was a special treat before what I predicted could be the night from Hell. We spent most of our time just looking at one another but I confess I had never been able get enough of Lydia. She was the sultry siren men dreamed about with her full lips, sassiness and confidence. Every time she touched me, I would become aroused all over again. It wasn’t something new for us, though it amazed me still. She bewitched me with her smile and her soft touch repeatedly, and not just on that day but the entire time we had known one another.
---
“You okay?” she asked me as she lay in my arms after our second time making love in the bed.
“Yeah, I’m good as could be expected.”
“I hoped our time today would help you relax for later.”
“It’s working,” I encouraged her as I leaned down to kiss her welcoming lips.
Then the phone rang. I sighed as I picked it up to find my brother on the other end.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me you told Gordon to forget coming tonight?” Dean said.
“Yes, I told him, it’s just us and Bobby.”
“Good I was just checking, sorry to interrupt.”
Sure Dean, just a way to make sure I am being the best I can be, I thought with a smile.
“No problem, see you tonight,” I said as Lydia moved the phone from my ear to put it back on the cradle.
“Enough talking,” she said as she pulled me down to kiss her again.
---
Bobby showed up in time for dinner with us as well as Kara, Cassie and of course Dean. After our meal, the women did the dishes and chatted while we took Mackey in the living room to amuse her. She clapped her hands as she looked around at all of us funny looking guys. She ran to Dean as soon as he sat down so she could reach for him to put her in his lap. He obliged with a sad smile. It bothered me because he had every reason to be excited. He was expecting a kid at any moment. I felt down again because I wanted him to be happy for his future.
---
Bobby smiled as Dean played patty cake with the little girl.
“Good practice, for you Dean,” Bobby said.
Dean smiled, “Yes, though I am not sure I will ever be ready.”
“Oh you will be fine I’m sure,” I said with a grin as my daughter jumped out his lap to head toward a surprised Bobby.
“I see they can be fickle,” Bobby said as he picked her up as though she were a dirty diaper he was uncertain as to how to deal with. I laughed along with Dean who tried to hide it behind his hands. Mackey took a sniff of the older man and struggled to get back down to come into my arms.
“He’s a nice man,” I said to her as she held tightly to me while she sucked her thumb.
---
I went to the kitchen, to find Cassie was sitting down as the others tried to convince her to go to the hospital. I stood back to see what would happen.
“It’s probably all that’s going on, you should go,” Kara said.
“No I’m fine I could be in labor for a long time, they told me when I called.”
“Cassie, you should tell Dean,” Lydia encouraged her.
“Right, Sam needs him tonight, I’ll be fine.”
Lydia shook her head and I could tell Cassie saw the look in her eyes.
“Don’t you dare tell Sam.”
“But Lydia’s right, Dean would be devastated if you had this baby without him,” Kara said with frustration.
I didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping but I felt stuck to the spot.
“I just need to relax I will be fine,” she said as Dean strode into the kitchen with only a glance in my direction.
---
He saw the look in his wife’s eyes and knew something was wrong.
“Cassie why are you sitting down? You don’t look well,” he asked as he looked around the room for answers.
No one spoke and Cassie groaned.
“Nothing, probably, just the excitement about what you and Sam are up to tonight.”
Dean kneeled in front of her, I could see he was torn, I felt upset all over again. He loved his wife but we both needed him. I should have intruded, let him know that his own family should mean more.
“So how about I take you to the hospital to be checked out?” he asked as again I felt bad for listening.
“But?”
“Wait, if it’s going to be a long time or overnight I will bring you back here. I mean as long as you and the baby are fine, then great.”
“Okay.”
“Good,” Dean said as helped her up, I was impressed with my sibling for making the right choice.
---
While Dean took care of Cassie, Bobby and I discussed the plan for later. We sat in my study, he was in a chair on one side of the desk while I sat down to double check my information in my desktop computer.
“So Dean has the ID cards?”
“Yep, he used a bit of sweet talk to distract some nurses while he took the cards.”
“So those skills come in handy?”
I nodded, ”From time to time I guess.”
“And you have the map?”
“Yep, we just needed to check out the areas that look most promising for a um..for finding my kid,” I said.
I had a feeling this had to be the night. Bobby watched me quietly for a few minutes.
“Sam, I really hope Logan is okay. But either way he is coming with us.”
“That’s all I’m saying,” I said as I heard a car pull up.
I got up to open the shade to see who it was.
“Damn it.”
“What?”
“It’s Gordon.”
“You called?”
“Well, I left a voice mail.”
“Dean is going to flip.”
“I know,” I said as Gordon rang our doorbell.
---
Two years before,
There were days that I felt guilty about not actively seeking the Demon that killed Mom and Jess. Sometimes Dean would call and we would talk about old times and how we had such high hopes of getting our revenge.
“I think Dad would be so pissed,” I said one day as Dean was quiet on the other end of the phone.
“Oh well, too bad for that I guess, but we should still try to watch the signs.”
“Yeah who knows it may show up when we least expect.”
I agreed it was a plan though all of us including Lydia still hunted from time to time just not as much since we had Logan. His gift had scared me silly, I never expected him to be burdened as I had been. Though there is no way I could have ever regretted having him in my life. He was a gift to us that we could have never foreseen. His little smile would light up a room. There were even times I wondered if he were angel because of his sweet disposition.
---
After Dean and Cassie married he spent a lot of time asking my advice, which floored me from the start. He had always been such a confident person that I was curious as to why he suddenly doubted himself so often.
“Man, you know Cassie like no one else how come you are second guessing yourself.”
“I guess I don’t want to lose her, now that I finally have her.”
I shook my head, there had to be something I was missing. They were married after years of trying to get to that point he should be cockier than ever instead he was going backwards.
“Dean what are you not saying? I can’t help without all the facts, man.”
“I didn’t tell you the entire truth about when I came back,” he said.
That revelation was not as unexpected as he might have surmised, but I did not tell him that.
---
He went on to tell me that when he got to Cassie’s house the day he returned she told him she was dating someone. She said she wanted a family and a life but she would chose someone else if he had no interest in those things.
“She was willing to accept the hunting, she said it was a part of me, she just didn’t want me to walk away again and expect to return when I felt like it.”
“And you accepted the terms obviously?”
“Sam, I love her then and now.”
“Okay, so what is haunting you? I don’t see the connection.”
“I just want to be a good husband, it’s not something I have training in. I have never been in a relationship..”
“I know Dean but you and Cas get along great, I mean you don’t fight much any more, she seems happy. Dude, just relax.”
“I know it’s silly Sam, don’t tell anyone okay.”
“No of course not, sh*t I’m not perfect, we are all just human.”
My brother smiled as he left that evening though I am not convinced he told me everything.
---
It was a month later, when I found out the reason he was so uneasy the day we discussed his marriage. Dean had a girlfriend or at least he was seeing someone outside his marriage. I saw them at a restaurant not far from our house. They sat in the window chatting then I saw my brother, the one who was so upset about being a bad husband kiss this dark haired beauty. It was not a peck on the check it was a full blown, lip lock. I had to do something there was no way around it.
---
I walked into the restaurant and went straight up to the table. Dean looked at me and had the nerve to blush.
“Hey,” he said as the Brunette looked up at me.
“Dean we need to talk,” I said without preamble.
“Sure,” he said as he got up and smiled at the girl before we walked over near the rest rooms.
“What the hell man? How could you be worried about Cassie when you are here with another woman?”
“Sam, I’m sorry. I tried not to cheat I did. It’s just too hard,” he said as he frowned and ran his hands through his hair.
“Damn it Dean, you have to be committed to your wife. Life is hard. You can’t do this…”
“Maybe I am just no good, maybe Cassie needs someone better than me…”
“No, Damn it, you are going to do this, you love her. You know you love Cassie. Tell me you did not sleep with that woman please.”
“No, I just met her a couple of weeks ago, she came into the shop when I was there and we got to talking.”
“Damn it, Dean, did you happen to mention you were married?”
“She knows.”
“Oh great, not only are you cheating but you are with an adultress who knows the truth. She is the worse kind, man. Tell me you will end it before it’s too late. Cassie deserves more than this from you.”
My brother looked into my angry face and swore he would do it. He promised he would do better than throw his marriage down the drain. He confessed that he did love his wife and he had let a moment of weakness cloud his judgment. He had not even been careful in his actions anyone could have seen them.
---
I went outside without going back to the table to meet the woman who could change my brother’s life forever. He had spent to much energy on getting married to the woman he truly loved for it to end that way. I watched as he went to the table, made an excuse and met me outside. He seemed somber as we walked to our cars.
“Sam, I screwed up, man. I let myself get off track. It was stupid. I am glad you saw us today.”
“You were going to go sleep with her weren’t you?”
He gave me a half nod.
“Dean, tell Cassie about this, man, maybe she will forgive you and it can be over.”
“What if she doesn’t forgive me?”
“Then that is how it goes sometimes,” I said as I tried the tough love I had read so much about.
---
Dean was lucky with Cassie she accepted his explanation though she kicked him out of her bed for a while. I am certain he never mentioned my part in his change of attitude because that would have put a whole different spin on things for her. I watched him after that. He did try harder he seemed to get into the spirit of marriage and family, after my lecture. I love my brother and if I thought for one minute he had chosen Cassie unwisely I would have given him different advice that day in the restaurant. The thing is Dean never knew I had had a vision of him and the lady the night before.
TBC