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Dean sat down then pulled Cassie into his lap as she put her arms around his neck. “If the baby is yours you should really be involved in his life.”
“I know that would be the right thing to do and I know you are already thinking of ways you can add him to our little nursery here,” he teased her.
He never figured Cassie as an Earth mother but she loved kids; she was so good with Deanna it amazed him at times.
“You are such a comedian, ha ha ha,” she laughed as she ran her fingers through his hair.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves I haven’t taken the test yet, besides Courtney didn’t say she wanted me to do anything.”
“Maybe she knew I would volunteer you,” Cassie laughed.
----
Two weeks later,
Sam, Dean and Cassie all sat in the living room as they looked at the envelope that would tell them if Dean was the father of Courtney’s child. Sam laughed.
“I’ll open it if you want.”
Dean shook his head, “No I’ll do it,” he said as he used his finger as a letter opener getting a paper cut in the process.
“Ouch.”
Cassie took the letter from him then rolled her eyes as she finished opening it while she watched him suck his finger.
She handed it to him without looking at it. Dean took a deep breath then finally read the words that would change his life forever.
“I am the Dad,” he said with little emotion.
“I am really surprised,” Sam said as he grimaced.
Cassie didn’t say anything until Dean asked Sam to give them a moment alone.
“What are you thinking, Sweetie?”
“I’m trying to process this; give me a minute.”
----
They stared at one another for long minutes before Cassie ran her fingers down his jaw.
“I can’t say I am happy with the verdict; but I have had time to consider the possibility. I am just afraid I will think of you being with her every time I see that kid. What is his name?”
“Jason.”
“He is a little over a year old, there is plenty of time for you to get to know him.”
“But I don’t want you to be uncomfortable; maybe I should go see him every now and then I mean she lives in Iowa.”
“What a mess,” she said as he ran her fingers over her hair.
----
When Dean phoned Courtney the next day Cassie sat beside him on the sofa to give her support.
“I don’t want to be a dead beat Dad but you see where we are as far as finances go; we are having another baby in a few months ourselves.”
She let him know again that she didn’t want anything from him but he insisted that it was only fair that he should get to know his son. Courtney finally agreed after speaking with Cassie who convinced her that it would benefit Jason to have his father around at least now and again.
“You are really okay with this?” Courtney asked.
“I don’t have much choice I can’t say I am happy about it, but doing the right thing is sometimes hard.”
Courtney hung up glad that she had spoken with Dean as well as his wife.
----
Cassie watched Dean sleep that night with visions of him and Courtney running through her mind. She tried to think of something else but she found herself in tears from the effort of trying to refocus her thoughts. Dean opened his eyes to see her wiping her face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Hormones,” she insisted as he looked curiously at her.
She lay on her back with hopes that he would drop the subject but that didn’t happen.
“Why do you lie to me?” he asked as he played with her hair. She was silent.
“Being stubborn doesn’t always help you know.”
“Fine you want to hear what’s wrong? I keep seeing you two together and its making me sick to my stomach,” she said angrily as she got out of the bed to pace the floor.
Dean was almost glad that she finally had an honest reaction to his situation it had bothered him that she was so calm before. Though he wasn’t sure that he liked this behavior considering her condition.
“Honey relax you don’t need to be stressed,” he said as he got up to lead her back to the bed but she pulled away from him.
“I know I need to relax but the more I try the more I can’t see anything but the same images running around in my head. I can’t look at you right now,” she said as she left the room.
----
She was sitting at the kitchen table when Sam came downstairs for a drink of water.
“Hey Cas, you okay?”
She didn’t look at him just shook her head.
“Is it Dean?”
“It’s me I flipped out about this baby thing; I keep seeing them in my head, you know together.”
“It’s only natural,” Sam said.
“Sam I love Dean I don’t want to hurt him I know all this happened in the past.”
Dean stood hidden in the shadows as he listened to them. Sometimes he felt Cassie was more open with Sam than with him. It was something that bothered him. Was he pressing her to be perfect? Was he asking too much? He wanted her to talk to him the way she did Sam. She put him through hell now he was doing the same thing unintentionally. He went back up stairs quietly, he would mention it to her sometime but tonight maybe Sam was who she needed to talk things over with since he was the issue she was having.
When he walked by the nursery he heard whimpering; he opened the door to see Deanna wearing a long pink baby t-shirt with one leg over the crib trying to get out or in he wasn’t sure which.
“DeeDee, you are going to hurt yourself,” he said as he picked her up.
“Daddy, play.”
“It’s two in the morning, Little Miss, but we can go down to get water if you want.”
She nodded as her blue/green eyes lit up as she let him carry her which was unusual since she loved to walk on her own. Dean kissed his daughters cheek as he headed to the kitchen with a legitimate reason to interrupt Sam and Cassie.
----
Cassie was in Sam’s arms this time when Dean saw them. No reason to be jealous he is your brother, stay calm, stay calm.
“Everything okay in here?” he asked innocently, at least that is what he was going for.
“Fine,” Cassie said as she wiped her eyes before sitting back down at the table to finish her ice cream.
Dean told them about Dee Dee’s adventure with the crib then suggested they needed to get her a toddler bed.
Cassie agreed as she put Deanna in the high chair.
“Why are you up so late?” Sam asked the little girl who was grinning wide eyed at him.
She shook her head and smiled.
“She slept late this morning; it probably missed up her internal clock.”
----
Dean put a bit of water in a cup for her before he saw her rub her eyes. “I think it is more likely she heard noises and wanted to see what was happening down here,” Dean said as he picked up his daughter before she leaned on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were being loud,” Cassie said as she looked at Dean while he raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well, I will take her back up and rock her for a bit.”
“But you have work in the morning.”
“That’s okay I’ll be fine,” he said with a grin at Cassie.
“Daddy,” Deanna said as she raised her head on Dean’s shoulder before pouring the water down his shirt.
Dean squeezed his eyes shut as he took the cup from her; she didn’t have any idea of what she had done so he put the cup on the counter without a word. Cassie and Sam were oblivious to what had happened until he turned around to walk away then they saw the water spot on his t-shirt. Sam shook his head as he watched Dee Dee lay her head on Dean’s shoulder on the way up the stairs. Cassie smiled to herself, another reason that I love my husband; he so sweet.
----
Dean went to the bedroom to grab a new shirt before taking Dee Dee to her room to play. After a half hour of peek a boo, tickle me and blow on the tummy, she was yawning along with him so he took her to the room to find Cassie lying in the bed looking at the ceiling wearing a short white cotton sleep dress. He sat the little girl in the bed beside her mother before taking off his shirt and shorts. Once he lay down beside her in his boxers Dee Dee threw her leg over his stomach then scooted up to lay on his chest. Dean and Cassie laughed which helped release tension in the room.
“She knows the most comfortable place in the house,” Cassie said with a smile.
Dean smiled back while he tried to see Dee Dee, “ What is she doing?”
“She is sucking on her fingers and watching me, but she looks very sleepy.”
Dean ran his fingers through his daughter’s silky dark curls; she leaned up to look at him so he bent down to kiss her nose, she grinned before settling on his chest again.
Cassie leaned up on her elbow then sighed.
“I’m sorry about earlier; I didn’t mean to “wig out” on you. We can get through this.”
“Don’t worry about it; you have earned the right to be irritated,” he replied as she leaned up to kiss him while Dee Dee faded off to sleep.
----
His first visit to see Jason was two months later; Courtney agreed to meet him this first time since Cassie’s due date was looming and Dean didn’t want to be too far away just in case. Sam had returned to Stanford to finish his degree program with hopes of coming to visit them around Christmas.
They met at a rental property that Courtney’s parents owned in Southern Iowa it was on a lake; very private and peaceful. When Dean drove in the drive way he knew it was a bad idea. It wasn’t that he had feelings for Courtney but the environment was conducive to romance. Why had he agreed to this thing? He phoned Cassie before he got out of the car to let her know he was safe and would be back sometime before Sunday evening.
“So you have been inside yet? I know you hate camping I hope the rental is liveable.”
Dean looked at the very modern cabin with the smoke wafting from one of two chimneys and felt trapped.
“It looks stable,” was all he could say he refused to worry his wife unnecessarily. She needed to relax. He was glad her mother was on the way to town to help her out until the baby came. Mrs. Robinson had always been supportive of them though she hadn’t visited much since she remarried. He felt Cassie seemed to resent her stepfather because she loved her Dad so much; her mother probably felt that too.
----
Dean grabbed his over night bag out of the back seat just before Courtney came out of the house carrying a little brunette haired boy. He seemed to be wiggly in his arms which reminded him of Dee Dee, who loved to walk, but still endured his carrying her now and again.
“Hi,” she said as he walked to the door getting a closer look at his son in the process. Though his eyes were green he did have Dean’s nose and the expression on Jason’s face mirrored his own, curious one. Dean smiled at the little boy as Courtney preceded him inside the cabin.
“You can put your bag in the room over there.”
Dean looked around the very spacious log cabin, modern appliances could be seen shining in the kitchen near the back, the living room was fully furnished with two roomy recliners plus a sofa, entertainment center and the fireplace that drew your eyes to the middle of the room. There were rooms on either side of the living/sitting area that looked just as spacious from where he stood.
“Thanks,” he said as he went to the room to find it was as he assumed; large, with at least a queen sized bed, two dressers, a window seat, closet and bath.
“Damn, no wonder she doesn’t want me to give her anything,” he said under his breath.
He put his bag in the corner then went out to face his child and Courtney.
----
Cassie hung up the phone distracted she had heard something in Dean’s voice that bothered her. No, I trust him; I have to relax, he loves me and he will be on his best behavior. She fed Dee Dee then showered and dressed for bed before she ate her own dinner of spinach salad and a pure fruit drink. Once she rinsed out her plate she felt the urge to phone Sam but stopped with her hand on the receiver. I can do this; I don’t need an advisor to tell me my husband loves me. She took a deep breath as she headed for bed.
----
Dean sat at the kitchen table with Jason who sat in his high chair while Courtney stood at the stove stirring some soup.
Dean hadn’t actually looked closely at the little boy because he felt uncomfortable and unsure; two things he hated feeling.
“So when is Jason’s birthday?”
“June 15th.”
Dean fnally smiled as Jaso hit his spoon on the tray.
“ Ma ma ma ma,” Jason said over and over.
Courtney took the spoon from him to ease the racket then picked him up to hand to Dean.
“He wont bite; but you have to handle him so you can get used to one another,” she teased as Jason went easily into his father’s arms.
He looked at Dean with very little interest and reached to tug on Dean’s longish hair.
Dean smiled. This going to be hard he is so cute. I miss my girls.
----
When Cassie’s mother arrived the next day she filled her in on Dean’s situation which he had okayed for her to do ahead of time.
“Oh honey, I am sorry I can only imagine how Dean feels. I know that man loves you its all over his face when he looks at you.”
“I know Mom and I was a brat to him about it at first but he forgave me and we are trying to do better, you know.”
Her mom nodded she was glad Cassie had Dean in her life; she seemed to be miserable when he wasn’t around. Dee Dee squirmed in her mother’s arms as she fought to get on the floor to play.
“Settle down now,” Cassie said as she set the little one free to roam the living room.
“Daddy?” she said as she looked around.
“Gone Sweetie, but he will be back soon.”
The little girl didn’t understand as she drop to the floor and began to pout. Cassie picked up the phone to dial Dean hoping his voice would calm their little Dee Dee.
Mrs. Robinson felt sad for her granddaughter as she sat looking toward the stairs hoping to see her father come down at any moment.
----
Dean couldn’t pick up when the phone rang because he was in the shower but Courtney heard it since it lay on the night stand beside his bed she decided to answer just in case it was about the birth of the new baby.
“Hello?”
“Hi Courtney, this is Cassie; where is Dean?”
She took a message to give to him while Jason fussed in the kitchen since his breakfast had been interrupted. Dean came out of the shower in only a towel but Courtney was still writing the message and stood there embarrassed when she saw him. He frowned at her.
“Why are you in here?”
She handed him the message.
“I’m sorry I was afraid it was important.”
He licked his lips, “Thanks,” he said as she nodded and almost fell over her feet while rushing out of the room.
TBC
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