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He had not meant to say it aloud, but it was out there now. His secret had been revealed though it happened accidentally. He had thought it but when the words left his mouth, he was surprised to realize what had happened. There was no way he could take what he said back again, besides he meant it. Sara was silent as he lay beside her though he had two minds about his slip of the tongue. He half wanted to hear her say the same words to him and half regretted laying his feelings out so soon. Sara loved Sam too but she knew without a doubt it was too soon for her to say it to him. Therefore, she said nothing. After a few minutes, the mood in the room changed from passionate to uneasy and that bothered Sam.
“Sara, I don’t want to rush into anything but I needed you to know I am not going anywhere. I also don’t expect you to rush to declare your love because I just did,” Sam said as he lie on his back and looked at the ceiling.
“Okay,” was all she said as she bit her lip hoping that the one word expressed something of what she was feeling.
“Good,” he replied with a smile in his voice as he leaned over to look in her face.
She grinned as he leaned down to kiss her inviting lips again, she cradled his head in her hands as he ravished her lips. Her tongue found solace in his mouth as he easily brought her heart rate back up to racing speed. Yes, she loved him; more than likely, since the moment she laid eyes on his tall, toned frame. His longish brown hair had been tousled and his eyes seemed to light up when he looked at her. No, loving Samuel Winchester was something she hoped to enjoy for a very long time. Telling him about it could be a bit trickier since saying I love you to men had never worked out well.
Cassie tapped Dean on the shoulder a few hours after the kids where a sleep. Dean smiled up at her before she motioned for him to follow her. Once they were in the bathroom, he pretended to have no idea why she was waking him at six thirty in the morning.
“What’s up,” he said as he tried not to grin.
She pulled him to her for a kiss as he reached to pull her nightie over her head.
“I see you have no idea why I dragged you in here,” she teased as his pajama bottoms hit the floor.
He pushed her against the door a second before he put his lips against her neck. Cassie saw a flash of Courtney and jumped.
“Cas?” he said concerned that he had stepped on her toe or hurt her some how.
“Nothing,” she said as he looked curiously at her before going back to nuzzle her neck.
She put her arms around his neck, then saw the flash of Courtney before her eyes more clearly this time. Dean felt her tense up then looked up to see tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”
She shook her head as she opened the door to go back to the bed. Dean followed her but was concerned about waking the kids.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded in a whisper.
She totally changed gears on him.
“I shouldn’t have woken you it was a bad idea,” she said coldly.
“What?” he said with a glare.
“I am not feeling well, I am sorry,” she said with less agitation this time.
Dean decided to lie back down though he knew she was lying. Since it was too early to wake the children, he would have it out with Cassie later in the day. He was concerned that she was acting erratically. Once they were all up for the day they got their things together so they could leave for home after lunch. Cassie seemed sad to him and it bothered him to see her that way. He asked Sam and Sara to watch the kids before he pulled Cassie into the room. He sat on the bed as she stood uncomfortably in front of him.
“Cas, I hate when you are sad please talk to me.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
She had her arms folded over her chest in a protective stance even though she stood between his legs.
“Tell me why you are sad? You know you can tell me anything, I hate seeing you this way.”
She swallowed as she avoided looking at him. Dean could not take it as he stood up to pull her into his arms.
“Please,” he said into her ear.
She relaxed as she put her arms around him, God help me be strong for my family. She knew pushing Dean away was not what she needed to do; she needed to get past the thing with Courtney to make their family better.
When she told him what had happened he continued to hold her for a few moments before he looked in her eyes.
“I only want you, Sweetie, you have no reason to worry.”
“It was stupid I know how you feel and I don’t want you to keep saying you are sorry because I am sorry for my part in all of this too.”
He hated the thought of how he had contributed to her distress and he remembered that his little girl was having issues with the whole Jason affair also. The only thing he could do was to be a loving and affectionate husband and father as they tried to deal with their emotional issues.
“I know I should have told you earlier but I felt so stupid for letting her come between us, even if it was in my head.”
“Don’t worry about that you have to know that I see what happened with Courtney as a horrible mistake and if nothing else hold on to the fact that your face was who I saw when I was with her.”
Cassie smiled, that was definitely a point in her favor. Did Courtney in her scheming remember that important fact? How could she have any feelings for a man who clearly wanted someone else as he made love to her?
Sam and Sara were grocery shopping a few weeks after Dean and Cassie had visited when they saw Jason in a basket at the end of the aisle they were on. Jason looked as though he might cry as Sam picked up the little boy before Sara could stop him.
“Sam, what are you doing?”
“He’s my nephew,” he said as he went in search of Courtney as Sara followed him while the situation became clear to her.
They found Courtney on the next aisle talking with another young lady. She was shocked to see Sam as he walked around the corner with Jason. Courtney had not seen Sam since the night at Jade’s bar years before. Sam only knew Jason from the pictures Dean had given him.
“Why is my nephew sitting alone while you are over her talking?” he asked angrily.
“Uh, I was coming right back,” Courtney replied as she reached for Jason.
“Sam?”
“Anyone could have taken him, what in the hell were you thinking?”
Courtney tried to grab Jason from Sam again but he wouldn’t let him go. She glared at him.
“Give me my child.”
“Why? You obviously couldn’t care less about him to leave him for any stranger to wander off with him,” Sam replied, as he only got angrier at her look of supposed concern.
“Give him here, Sam,” she insisted.
“Sam that is her child…,” Sara started to say.
Sam shook his head as he looked at Sara he had only given her a bit of detail about the situation because it wasn’t really his story to tell.
“No, this is Dean’s child and he would never leave his son unattended the way you just did,” he said with emphasis as he handed Jason back to his mother.
“Don’t think he won’t know what just happened,” he insisted as he pulled out his cell phone to call Dean.
Sam called as he stood watching Courtney who had gone back to chatting to the other young lady as though nothing had happened. Once he explained to Dean what he had witnessed, Dean insisted he needed to speak with Courtney.
“For you,” Sam said as he handed her the phone and took Jason in his arms again.
Jason began to cry this time not sure of what was happening but the little boy looked into Sam’s puppy dog eyes and saw a friend.
“Dean, he is making it seem like I abandoned him I was just….”
“You left him alone in a grocery cart? Why do you even want him with you if you don’t care about him?” Dean asked angrily.
Cassie walked into the kitchen to see Dean running his hands through his hair in frustration.
“Well you don’t have to say you don’t care your actions have spoken for you.”
“You have no proof,” Courtney insisted with a look at Sam that spoke the same.
“From what I have heard you have three witnesses and I know two of them will testify,” Dean said as Cassie stood beside him with a sad look on her face. When he hung up, he told her about the grocery story incident.
“Do you really want to have custody of Jason?”
“What I don’t want is any child of mine to be neglected, I hope you see where I am coming from with this.’
She hugged him, “I do, Dean, I just think it may be harder than you think to get him.”
It was a few days after the grocery store incident that Sam and Sara ran into Courtney again at a bar and grill. She was with a few other ladies drinking at the bar. Sam and Sara took their seats, but Sara was unaware that Sam positioned them to watch Courtney and he used the excuse of going to the men’s room to take pictures of her with his cell phone. She looked totally smashed as she talked to a man who had walked over to the ladies. He wasn’t about to let his nephew stay with Courtney if she was out whoring around, it just wasn’t right. Dean had a decent job and he knew his brother would rather have Jason with him then to see him with a negligent mother but he needed proof. They lawyer they had spoken with told him tangible proof was the best way to get things done fast in custody cases. Dean and Cassie had agreed they would much rather have Jason so they could decide when Courtney could visit then for the little boy to be left feeling unwanted. Sam already knew just by asking around that Jason spent more time at the babysitters than at home with his mother. Though he realized her being single and having a job was part of the reason that did not negate that fact that her son needed her to spend time with him.
Sam pointed Courtney out to Sara once they began to eat their dinner.
“Her family’s ready cash flow may still make it hard besides a single mother going out on the town isn’t exactly a crime,” Sara said.
“I know but we have to try, Sara, you see that right?”
“I do and I am glad I’m not in Courtney’s shoes I would hate to deal with the Winchester’s in court,” she teased.
“What does that mean?” Sam asked with a grin.
“You and your brother are so passionate; Jason is lucky to have you two on his side is all I’m saying.”
Dean seemed irritable the rest of the evening but Cassie ignored his attitude since she realized he was probably upset about the latest development with Jason. She allowed him to make love to her at bedtime even though she knew his heart wasn’t in it.
Afterward he lie next to her staring off into space.
“That was nice,” she said sarcastically into the silence.
Dean looked at her as though he had no idea she was there before he went into her arms.
“I’m sorry that should not have happened. Good Lord, you are the only good thing in my life and I thank you for putting up with my crap.”
“It’s okay, I know you have been distracted I should have just said no.”
“You would have said no to me?” he said as a smile formed on his handsome face while he looked at her with his head tilted to the side.
She laughed.
“I just prefer to be the only thing on your mind when we are intimate.”
“I understand, its just this….thing with Jason worries me. He is so innocent though I know his grand parents will probably try to get him for Courtney to keep us from getting custody of him.”
Cassie nodded as they finally settled down to sleep. When this whole thing began she never thought that they would be talking of Jason living with them.
A couple hours later a scream awakened everyone in the house. Dean jumped up then raced to Dee Dee’s room next door. He found her drenched in sweet with her sheet tangled around her. She was crying in her sleep. He didn’t want to frighten her so he whispered.
“Dee Dee wake up its Daddy. I’m here, you are okay it was a bad dream.”
He said the same thing a couple of times before she opened her eyes to look at him then put her hands around his neck. He picked her up as well as her blanket to try to keep her warm. Cassie was waiting in bed to get her. Dean handed the little girl to Cassie as he went to get a towel to try her off, a fresh diaper and a clean nightgown.
Marty was kicking contentedly in his crib when Dean checked on him after Dee Dee changed.
“How many nights in a row has she had bad dreams?”
“Um at least the last couple of nights,” Cassie said as she handed the little girl back to Dean to take her to the kitchen for some water.
“We have to find out what is causing her to do that she seems to young for nightmares,” Dean said as he walked away with her.
“Daddy, k?” Dee Dee said as he put her in the high chair so he could fill her cup with water.
He smiled as he noticed the top of her hair was frizzy and stuck up. When he handed her the water he tried to pat her hair down but it only stood up again. Dee Dee looked up at him with a grin.
“Daddy, k?”
“I am just fine and you will be too, I promise,” he said to her not realizing that she was concerned for him.
Dean had not even considered that Dee Dee might have a gift only that Marty seemed astute for his age. After her water he took her to the bathroom to attempt to detangle her hair. Dee Dee sat still only a few minute under Dean’s ministrations.
“Ow, Daddy.”
“Sorry Sweetie, I think Mom better take care of this.”
Cassie smiled when she saw what little progress Dean had made on de-frizzing the little girls wavy hair.
“Well, at least you tried.”
“Very funny,” he said as she leaned over to kiss them both on their cheeks.
TBC