Lily asked him to go. She'd told Billy to leave, and he had. He left, just as she'd asked him to. She should be happy, right? She was happy. Billy had been gone almost a month from her life and...what? She and Nick were still on shaky ground. They hadn't made love since their trip to the Bahamas, and how could they, when he worked late nights, and she slept in their guest bedroom. Not only had she slept in their guest bedroom, she'd gone so far as to move her clothes into the other room. How could she sleep with Nick after sleeping with Billy?

Lily sighed and pressed her forehead against the warm glass of the window in her office. The temperature of the glass was a light reflection of the heat wave that had settled over Genoa City with no signs of letting up. It was only June and the heat was almost unbearable. Lily felt that the sudden heat was a metaphor for her life. As if things were about to get hotter, but how could they? Lily already felt as if her life was simmering in a pot of water just waiting to boil over.  She was going to tell Nick about her and Billy. She had to! She would be twenty-five in three days; it was past time for her to start acting like an adult. Besides, she and Nick would never be able to move on until she came clean, but that was better said than done, since her heart ached in a way that it hadn't in seven years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seven Years Ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Billy," Lily said as ran forward to launch herself in his arms. "Can you believe it? I'm finally finished." She smiled up into his blue eyes.

"Yeah, you are," he said. His arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Ouch, you're going to squeeze the life out of me."

"Sorry," he said as he sat her back on the ground.

"I was only joking. Why are you being so serious?" Lily looked up at Billy quizzically, there was something off about him, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.  Maybe he was relieved that she was finally out of school and almost legal. She knew it couldn't have been easy being twenty-one, while dating a girl in high school, who had yet to turn eighteen. He had never said anything about it, but she knew that it must bother him. She'd brought it up only once, since he'd turned twenty-one this past March. They were only a little over three years apart in age, but twenty-one seemed so far from seventeen. She was thankful t that her parents had gotten over their age difference two years ago, even if that didn't stop her Mother from giving Billy the occasional side eye.  

"I'm not.  I'm just...taking it all in." Billy said trying to smile down at her, but finding it difficult. They needed to talk. He needed to tell her of his decision to leave town, but how could he, when she staring at him with such love in her eyes. God he loved her. He loved her so much, but he needed to move on. He had to spread his wings, to see what else was out there, before he settled down with one person, even if she was the most important person in his life.

"It's hard to believe isn't it? I am officially out of high school, I‘ll be starting college in the fall, and I will be eighteen in three very short weeks. It's as if everything is falling in line for us." Lily said and grabbed his hand.

"I love you," Billy said giving her hand a light squeeze as he led her to the car.

Lily's family had already given her hugs and congratulatory kisses, while Billy had stood to the side and waited for her to be free. They'd arranged it before hand, so that she could spend time with Billy afterwards and he would drive her to the huge celebration dinner they were having in her honor at Gina's.

"Are you ready to party?" Billy asked trying to put on good face.

"Yes, I think tonight is the start of something new." Lily said before sliding into the Porsche.

***

Lily was happy that the dinner party would be coming to a close soon. She wanted to spend time with Billy, but that had been hard since just about everyone had insisted on talking to her. They wanted to know her plans for the future, as if they hadn't asked her this a hundred times before. She was going to school for business and perhaps accounting, which most people found boring, but she liked numbers and it was great field to enter.  It was very important that she chose a good field, and although she wouldn't major in accounting, it never hurt to take a few extra classes, perhaps even minor it.

"Now why are you sitting here all alone?"

Lily looked up and smiled at her visitor. "Hi Nick. Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome. Is this seat taken?" He asked, and sat down after she shook her head no.

She'd glanced around for Billy, but she didn't see him. Weird, where was he?

"Are you excited about starting a new chapter in your life?"

Lily smiled brilliantly at him. "Yes, I will finally get to move out of the house. Tracy has arranged it so that Colleen and I will be roommates."

"That's great. I didn't have a roommate when I was in college."

"Oh," she asked with a frown. "Well, why not?"

"I didn't want one. I'm a pretty private person." He said staring into her lovely innocent brown eyes. Nick had only recently realized how beautiful Lily was. It was the oddest thing, one day after having a terrible fight with Sharon. He'd gone to Newman with the intention of throwing himself into work, when he'd run into Lily, who was visiting Neil at the office. He'd been angry and extremely frustrated, until she looked up at him with those big beautiful brown eyes. He was captivated by their kind and gentleness. She'd smiled, and asked how he was. He'd told her that he was okay, and at the moment, he was. It was as if her smile and her eyes made it okay. She made everything okay. He had never really looked at Lily before, because well, she was a kid. Or at least that's what he'd thought until he got a good look at her, and saw that she was very much a young woman, a beautiful and sexy young woman.

Originally he'd been ashamed of himself. He'd even written of their encounter, but days had passed and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. He hadn't planned on doing anything about his slight infatuation, until he saw her with Billy. He didn't know why, but he began to hate Billy. Billy, who was such an arrogant ass, was smiling like a happy fool. His arm was around her waist and Nick had the urge to break every bone in it. He didn't like Billy touching her. His dislike of Billy had pushed him to find different ways to see her, without making it obvious he had thing for her. During those first few weeks, Nick had come to the realization that he didn't like men touching her. He wanted her. He wanted Lily all to himself. He no longer wanted the drama that Sharon brought into his life. He liked fucking her, but that was all. He was sick of the games, sick of being manipulated.  He wanted...he wanted something more, with someone who wouldn't play games, someone who would give herself completely, and he knew, without a shadow of doubt that that someone was Lily Winters.  

"Nick," Lily said snapping him out of his musings.

"Sorry, I was thinking about business. What did you say?"

"I said that you must have had somewhere better to be than at my graduation party."

"And why is that? Why would I want to be anywhere else? Lily our families have been connected for years. My parents aren't here just because Neil is an employee at Newman. He's my father's friend and right hand man. And...you and I are friends?"

Lily blinked, this was news to her. She knew Nick, but she had never really thought of him as a friend.

As if reading her thought Nick added, "Perhaps that was bit much. What I meant is that I hope that we can be friends." He held his breath in anticipation of her answer.

She bit her lip, looking over his shoulder, she still didn't see Billy.

"I think he stepped outside." Nick said. He was annoyed that she was looking for Billy, but he didn't let it show.

Lily jumped, "Oh," she flushed, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he said and reached to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ears that had fallen forward, when she'd started.  Her skin was as soft as he'd imagined. God he shouldn't want her, she wasn't legal...yet.  Three weeks, he only had to wait three weeks, before he could move in. Well maybe a little longer all things considered. She would soon need a good friend and he would be there for her. "So?" he asked again.

"So what," she asked. "I'm sorry I wasn't..." She trailed off and Nick watched as a huge smile spread across her face. He didn't have to ask why she was smiling, he already knew.

"I take it you see Billy."

"Yes," she said still smiling at his approach.

"Well then I better take off."

"You don't have to," she asked looking slightly embarrassed.

"No, it's fine. I have somewhere else to be." He stood up and she followed. "Congratulations," Nick said before turning away.

Lily watched as he left, and then turned back to face Billy. She hoped that she hadn't been rude that wasn't her intention. She just wanted to spend the rest of the night with Billy. Kate liked to joke that she had stars in her eyes when it came to Billy that blinded her to everyone and everything but him. She also said the same about Billy, when it came to her, so Lily didn't feel too bad about it. Lily and Billy fit, it was just the way it was and everyone knew it. Lily loved him and he loved her. It hadn't always been easy, but once her parents realized that being young didn't mean that a person didn't know their own heart. Who says that you have to be a certain age to really know what love is? You not may be quite ready for marriage, but that doesn't mean that you aren't ready for love.  

"What did he want?" asked Billy upon his approach. He felt slightly anxious for her answer. Nick wouldn't have told her? But what could he have told her, it wasn't as if he knew anything?

"He just wanted to congratulate me."

"Oh, well are you ready to leave?"

"Yes, I am past ready to leave."

"Okay then," Billy said and waited near the door, while she gathered her belongings and said goodbye. He'd been avoiding her all night. There was no way that he could have stood next to her the entire evening all the while knowing that he was going to break her heart. Billy didn't want to hurt Lily, but there wasn't much he could do.  He had to do this for himself. He had to do this for them. He never wanted to regret not seeing the world, and he would if he stayed here and settled into a life of domestic bliss with her.

***

"This is my house," Lily said as they drove up the long driveway. "I thought we would go somewhere else. I knew we weren't going to the field, but I..." she said coyly, "I thought we would go somewhere to be alone." Lily and Billy had only been sexually active for about a bout a year. She'd waited until she was certain that she was ready, and he'd never once pushed her to take it to another level.

"I know," was all he said, as he maneuvered the car off to the side of the house where one of three gazebos on the property was located. "Let's go sit on the swing." He got out the car, walked around to the side and helped her out.

Lily followed him in silence. She didn't like this. She didn't know why, but she didn't want to go with him to the gazebo. "I'm tired. I think I should go inside and get some sleep."

Billy stopped, on a flat stone and pulled her into his arms. He sighed, when he felt her arms around him. He placed a kiss on her forehead, and made to move away, but stopped when she spoke, with her arms still locked around his waist.

"What's wrong?" She looked up at him with worried eyes. "Did my graduation bring up memories of your father?"

Billy felt a fresh stab of pain at the mention of his father. The wound was still somewhat fresh. His father, John Abbott, had died less than a year ago. "No," He answered in a slightly roughened voice.

"Okay," she said loosening her grip and stepping back. "Then what is it? You've seemed off today."

"Let's go to the gazebo," he said reaching for her hand.

"Why can't you tell me here?"  She said letting him lead her to the first step, but she didn't go any further.

"I don't know," he said running a hand through his hair.

Lily didn't say a word. She didn't know what to say. Billy looked lost and yet as much as she wanted to help him, some part of her felt that she would be the one who needed the help.

"I don't know how to say this." Billy ran a finger down her cheek.

Lily shivered at the feel his soft skin against hers. The night was warm, but she began to feel cold as Billy stared down at her with a look of complete and utter sadness. "Billy what's wrong?" she moved to stand on the first step next to him, but he moved down to take her place, so that she was now staring down at him.

"I'm leaving Genoa City."

"Wha- what do you mean? Are you going on a trip?" She asked, hope coloring her voice. This was silly. Billy was probably nervous about telling her that he couldn't spend all of the summer with her. That's was all.

"Yes, I'm going on a trip."

"Oh," she sighed in relief. See she was being silly.  Billy was only going on a trip. "Where are you going?"

"Greece," he said somewhat hesitantly. He really wasn't sure exactly where he was going. Europe was his first destination and from there, he would take it once continent at a time.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," he said and waited for her reaction.

"Tomorrow, Billy you're leaving tomorrow to go to Greece and you're only just now telling me this?" Her usually almond shaped eyes were now round, and filled with shock. "Well, when are you coming back?"

"I don't know," he mumbled.

Lily was sure that he hadn't said what she thought he'd said. Her heart was heavy and her palms felt damp. "Did...did you-no," she shook her vigorously.

"Lily," Billy said placing his hands on her shoulder to stop her. "TL, I'm sorry.

Lily blinked several times, and looked up at the white ceiling of the gazebo. This wasn't happening. "Why are you sorry?" she croaked, attempting to blink away the tears.

"That I'm only just now telling you this."

"But what exactly are you telling me," she said finally looking at him.

Billy was sure someone was anchoring his heart down at the moment, because the pain in her eyes was pulling his heart down with her. "I need to go away for a while. I need," he swallowed trying to find the right words. "I need to go out into the world and experience life. There is so much that I have never seen and I want to experience it all while I'm still young."

"I...I can go with you," she said. "I'm almost eighteen, you could hold off a few weeks and I can go with you."

"No love, you can't."

"Why," she asked in small voice. "You don't love me anymore?"

"No, that's not it. I still love you. My loving you has nothing to do with it. I just." Billy stopped and ran frustrated hand through his hair. "Lily I love you, please never doubt that, but we've been together for three years. There is so much that neither of us has experience. Things that I want to experience and someday there will be thing that you want to experience too.

"No Billy," she said shaking her head. "No! I want you. You are the only one I want. I'm never going to look back and think that I missed out on something, because you will be with me. "

"Lily you don't know that. You're seventeen! Maybe in three years, when you're twenty-one, you will want to have known what it was like to be with someone else."

"You said that this was about experience. Yes, someday I want to visit different countries and learn about other cultures from more than a book, but I don't want to be with anyone else, and that will never change." Lily felt as if the ground was moving and everything around her was about to shift and reform. She didn't want things to reform. She wanted them to stay the same. "Billy I thought that you felt the same way, but you want to be with other girls."

"Lily it's not that. I just don't want to worry about doing something that would hurt you, by trying to walk a fine line. I'm a young man. There will be temptations everywhere and I don't ever want to cheat on you. You don't deserve that."

She wanted to argue with him. She wanted to tell that he didn't have to go alone, but he had already made up his mind. "How long have you known that you were going to break up with me?"

He looked away, "I've been thinking about it for a while now, but I only finalized my plans three weeks ago.

She swallowed. "That long, and you're just now telling me."

He turned back, "I'm selfish." He reached out and captured her face between his hands. "I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.  I wanted to cherish every last moment with you. I know that I'm hurting you. Baby this is the last thing that I wanted to do. I love you so much." He said and did what he hadn't planned, he kissed her, hard.

Lily held on to Billy as if he were a life line. Her lips moved against his in a feverish battle of wills. She used her tongue, her body and her mind to will him to stay and to will him not to forget her when he was gone. She pressed herself against him, and moaned when she felt his body rub against hers. Billy growled low in his throat as his tongue moved against hers. One hand cupped her face, while the other ran through her long curly locks. The tantalizing scent of freesia and other floral scents were over powered by the sweet vanilla scent of her hair. Billy knew that no matter where he went the smell of vanilla would always remind him of her, his home. Lily was his home. Billy knew that after his father's death that she was the only true home left for him. They say home is where the heart is. Well, he would be leaving his heart with her, because there was nowhere else he'd want it to be.

Slowly and regretfully he pulled away, subsequently ending their heated kiss.

The sound of their ragged breathing blended with the sounds of the night. They stared at each other for a long moment, each committing the other to memory, her eyes, his smile, her lips, his eyes, her hair, his laugh, her strength, his character.

"I will come back," he said in a hoarse voice. He knew that would return, if for no other reason than to take her away with him.

"You promise." She sniffed.  

"Yes."

"When?"

Billy thought for a second before speaking. An image of her and Nick popped into his head, but she shook it away.  No, she was too young for Nick, but not for Daniel or many other guys. She would be at college and some else would see just how wonderful she was and... He couldn't finish the thought. The very idea made him queasy, and yet he knew he couldn't ask her to wait for him. "Two years, at the very least.

"She gasped, "Two...two years? Are you asking me to wait for you?"

"No," he said, unconvincingly. Fuck he was selfish. "I can't ask you that," As much as I want to. "I promise you that I will return.  And...and I will write to you."

Lily knew that she should feel slightly better. Billy said that he loved her, and that he would return home, but she knew that things would never be the same after this night. They wouldn't be a couple. "But you're still breaking up with me," She whispered, just so that there was no confusion between them.

"Yes," he said, sliding the hand that had been cupping her cheek down her face, before stepping away. "Yes," he said in hoarse voice. He blinked several times to staunch the tears gathering behind his eyes. He sniffed. "But that," he cleared his throat, as a single tear slid from eyes, "that doesn't mean that I don't love you." He stared at her, the light blue dress she wore swayed lightly in the wind, as she stood silently on the first step of the gazebo, one hand on the banister the other clutched in a fist at her side, as tears poured without restraint from her eyes.

Billy stared until he began to feel numb, and then turned away, got into this car and never looked back.

~~~~~Present~~~~~~~~~

Lily wasn't sure how she'd made it through the first few weeks. He eighteenth birthday hadn't been the exciting event that she had anticipated it would be. Her mother had planned a huge party, but had cancelled it at her request. Instead of celebrating in Genoa City, Lily and her mother had gone to South Beach, where they had met up with her aunt Olivia. Colleen and Kate had flown in from New York. Kate was staying there on her summer break, while Colleen had gone to visit Tracy. They'd all tried to cheer her up, but to no avail.

Lily couldn't honestly remember, when she'd finally come out of her funk. It had been a slow progress, but after he'd failed to write her a single letter, she'd decided that enough was enough. He'd obviously lied to her and had moved on with his life, so she would do the same.

"I never asked him why he hadn't written." Lily said aloud the empty office. "And now it's too late." It was always too late. She shook herself. Why was she feeling like this? He'd left this time, because she told him to. This was what she wanted, or at least what she thought she did. She wasn't sure anymore. She wasn't sure about her feelings for Billy; everything felt so confusing. She knew she loved him, but was it real love? Did she even know the man she was in love with? Did she know either of the men she loved? She knew she still loved Nick, but she could honestly say she wasn't in love with him. And she wasn't sure if Billy's return was the reason, or if she'd always felt that way. And Billy, did she love Billy or was she confusing him with her fist love, who wasn't the man who'd returned the Genoa City? Or was he?

Lily had a hundred questions. Almost four weeks had passed, and she still didn't have answers to all of them. The only thing she knew for certain, was that she and Nick had to talk, the sooner the better. Having made her decision Lily grabbed her purse and headed for the door. She would call Nick, and tell him that they needed to talk...tonight.

***

Lily stopped by Crimson Lights on the way home to grab a cup of coffee. She had just gotten her change from the cashier, when a female voice spoke to her.

"Lily, look at you, all grown up."

Lily turned to see a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes smiling at her. She knew the face, but she couldn't quite remember the name.

"Oh, come on, it's only been five years."

Lily searched her brain and finally came up with a name. She frowned.

"Ah see, you do remember me."

"Sharon," Lily said coolly. It was odd, she didn't feel the anger that she used to feel whenever Sharon's name was mentioned. Could Billy have something to do with that?  She still couldn't stand her, but after her own indiscretion, how could she hold her nose up in the air? Nick had had an affair with Sharon doing the earlier part of their courtship. Lily had discovered the truth, when she'd gone to New York to surprise Nick, but she had been the one who was surprised. At the time, Lily had sort of understood, it wasn't as if she and Nick had been intimate. They'd only been dating for three months. Lily had broken it off, before returning to Genoa City. She hadn't felt heartbroken, just an acute case of embarrassment and a simmering anger. Nick had followed her back, and told her everything, they'd made up.

"I didn't know that you were back in Genoa City."

"Yes, I'm here on business. Your husband didn't tell you?" Sharon asked, enjoying the look of surprise that tidbit garnered. This was too easy. Sharon really didn't understand what a man like Billy wanted with someone as mousy as Lily.

"I trust my husband," Lily said wanting to choke on the words. Was Sharon the reason he'd been M.I.A.? Was Nick having an affair? Lily was worried about telling him about her and Billy, when it was possible that Nick had his own indiscretion to hide.

"I didn't say that you didn't, but," she gave a dramatic sigh, and grabbed her coffee of the counter. "After the unfortunate misunderstanding that happened last time, I was sure that Nick would have told you the minute he saw me." She took a sip of her coffee, "But I guess not."

"Sharon, Nick told me that you like to play games, and while I'm sure that you're good at them." Lily stepped forward, "I am better." Lily stepped around Sharon, leaving the blonde smiling after heer. Lily really wasn't violent, but she wanted to turn around slap the bitch.  

Yes, thought Lily, she and Nick needed to talk, and they needed to talk, yesterday.

***

Sharon watched as Lily made her way out the door, while pressing two on her speed dial.

"Yes,"

"Someone is in a bad mood." Sharon purred.  "Are you missing your little tiger, because I think she misses you."

"Spill it," said Billy.

"I just saw her at Crimson Lights, and your little tiger has claws. I was very impressed."

"You should never under estimate TL. She's not the CEO of a magazine empire just because her mother left her the company."

"Really? I was certain that that was the exact reason."  Sharon said sounding somewhat bitter. Her mother wouldn't have anything to leave her when she died, that Sharon hadn't paid for. Noah would not have that problem. Her son was a Newman and it was past time that everyone knew, especially his step mommy.

"Don't do anything rash," Billy warned. He could taste Sharon's bitterness in the air like a gas seeping through his phone.

"Now what could I do that would be rash?" She asked innocently. Oh I don't know, push Nick into a corner. She smiled, yeah something like that.

"Sharon, don't fuck this up. I left town, because she asked me to. Lily was right. She and Nick's marriage will end on its own. You came to town, and you're doing your part just by being there. Don't see Nick alone, at least not for a couple of weeks.

"And what if I don't want to wait a few weeks? I haven't seen Nick in almost a month." She said getting angry. Who the hell did Billy Abbott think he was? It wasn't as if she needed his money. He'd purchased her share of Symphonic Smells, and now she had a nice comfortable nest egg that she could live of off for the rest of her life, but what she didn't have was the respectability that came along with the Newman name. She knew she would never marry Nick. He was weak and beneath her, but her son would carry the Newman name. Noah deserved everything that came along with that honor, and Sharon was going to make damn sure he got it. "I have to go," she said abruptly.

Billy sighed, he knew it was pointless to say anything else, but he would try. He was so sure, after she asked him to leave that he wanted Lily to go through the reveal alone, but now that they'd been apart, he wasn't so sure anymore. He'd done a lot of thinking and he needed to talk to her. Yes, she'd been a bitch the last time he'd seen her, but that didn't mean he wanted her to get hurt, especially not from something that was partially his fault. He would leave tomorrow, but he had a very important meeting scheduled. Hell, he had several meetings within the coming weeks. He wouldn't be able to get away for at least two to three weeks. He was in the process taking Symphonic Smells global. At the moment there were five stores in the United States; New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, South Beach and Atlanta each boasted a store.

Billy had been in negotiations to open stores in London, Edinburgh, and Paris. The deal had been up in the air until he'd told Jack the truth about his involvement with Symphonic Smells. To say his brother hadn't been pleased was an understatement. Jack felt betrayed, but it hadn't lasted long after Billy laid out his idea to make Jabot the exclusive distributor. Jack was a business man first. He realized that there was still a large amount of money to be made by distributing the product. Jack was here in London, so even if he'd wanted, Billy knew he couldn't leave, or Jack was sure to never forgive him.   

"I'll be back in a few weeks."

"I know, and I will see you then."

"Sharon," Billy said a warning in his voice.

"Kisses," she said, before ending the call. She walked through the small café, ignoring the looks from the men who ogled her goodies as she passed them. She didn't have time to play coy or even stop to flirt. She pushed the patio doors open with one hand, while sliding on her Prada shades with the other. "Newman Enterprises," she said to her driver- who held opened the car door for her- before sliding in and relaxing against the leather seat. "Don't worry Billy. You can pick up whatever is left of your little tiger, after I'm done with Nick, who is going to wreck his world... and hers. "