"We need to talk about the baby." Nick said. He was slightly frustrated. "We have to talk about the baby."

Nick watched as she turned on her side away from him. "Lily let's discuss this."

"Nick, don't," Lily said, as she stared at the dull white wall in her hospital room. She waited for him to push her, because she knew he would, Nick didn't know when to back off. He didn't know when to give her space, not like Billy. She knew it wasn't fair of her to compare them, but how could she not, when she was constantly reminded about those differences?

"Lily this baby is-"

Baby, there was that word again. Lily felt as if her heart was going to explode whenever someone mentioned it. How could this have happened? She had been shocked and confused when the doctor told her she was pregnant. Shocked, because she hadn't expected it, and confused, because she was taking birth control pills. She knew it wasn't a hundred percent effective, but she took her pill every day. She'd been on the pill since she was fifteen, way before she and Billy ever became intimate. She'd rarely missed a day in the last ten years and if she had, it was usually for medical reasons. But she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had been taking her pill every day for last two years. So how had this happened, and why did it have to happen now? Now when her life was in free fall and the only place she could land was the ground. Billy will catch you. Her conscience whispered, but she didn't believe it. Why would he now?

Nick stared at his wife's stiff back and sighed. "Lily, I fucked up. I know I did, but the baby isn't going to go away."

"Nick, please." She didn't want to do this. She wasn't ready to do this. Everything was so fresh. She needed time to process the last twenty four hours. 

"Sweetheart, this baby is a blessing." Reaching over, he touched her arm, and tugged her towards him. She let him turn her over, but she didn't look at him. Her eyes were focused on the sheet that was catching the silent tears that slid down her cheeks. "Lily."

"No," she said.

"Lily."

"No."

"Lily."

"No!" She sat up in the bed, "No, Nick. No. Why, is it so hard for you to listen to me?" She said in frustration. "Why don't you ever listen to me?" 

"Lily we can't just pretend that you aren't pregnant, and I know that this is fresh on your mind." Nick moved from his chair and sat next to her on the bed. "But Sweetheart, don't you see?" He ran a hand down her cheek. "This baby is our shot at a second chance."

She shook her head back and forth, shaking off his hand in the process.

"Yes, baby," Nick took her hand in his.

"No," she said and gently pulled her hand from his. "This is not our second chance."

"I know that you're angry, but-" He began, but she cut him off with the words that would change him forever.

"It might not be yours." She said looking him the eyes. 

She watched as disbelief, sorrow, pain, anger and finally resentment passed through his eyes. She didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything to say. She could tell him she was sorry, but it would be empty, because she wasn't. To be sorry, she would have to regret sleeping with Billy, and she didn't.

"Billy."

He said the name so low that Lily was sure it had taken everything in him to utter the word. "Yes," she said trying to hold his gaze. His eyes were the darkest she'd ever seen them, the intensity in them slightly frightening her.

"You fucked him."

Lily started as if he'd yelled at her, but the statement was made in the same low tone. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She couldn't speak, not when he was looking at her with such anger in his eyes.

"How many times?" asked Nick

Lily bit her lip and swallowed. Her throat felt dry and her palms were clammy. "Once," she said, making her voice sound as normal as possible. She didn't feel the need to tell him exactly how many times they'd had sex in that one night.

Once, the word registered deep inside Nick's mind, in the place where civility still ruled, but he didn't let it affect him. Something had awakened in him, or perhaps it had always been awake and waiting for the right moment to take over. Waiting for the right moment to show the world that he wasn't the man everyone assumed he was. No, he was something darker, and from the look on his wife's face, she knew it, too.His wife, Nick could hear the sound of his heartbeat at those words. She had betrayed him by sleeping with a man he hated more than anyone else in the world. His beautiful, perfect wife had been sullied by his enemy and yet, as he sat here staring into her lovely brandy eyes, he knew that he still loved her.

"When?" he asked after the silence stretched.

"It doesn't matter," Lily said not wanting to get into the details. "Nick, I'm tired."

"When?" he said again, this time more firmly.

Lily closed her eyes, and said in a voice barely above a whisper, "The day we came back from the Bahamas."

Nick couldn't speak. He felt as if she'd just twisted the knife in his heart. The anger he'd previously felt magnified at her admission. Of course it had happened then. He'd practically handed her to Billy the moment he chose his business, no, Sharon, over her. Nick felt like a tool, well, for Billy he had been a tool. He'd used him to get to his wife. Nick had known what Billy wanted, and he had played right into his hands. Now his wife was pregnant, and the baby might be another man's. A baby he'd wanted since the day they married. 

"Nick," Lily said. She wasn't sure what was happening. She'd expected Nick to react when she told him, but she hadn't expected this. She'd expected...she wasn't quite sure what, but it wasn't this, this cold anger that pulsed around him like static electricity.

Her soft, worried voice pulled him back to her. He could feel himself going deeper into the darkness, but she'd pulled him back, for now. He looked from her eyes, and then down to her mouth, where he noticed she was biting her bottom lip, a sure sign that she was thinking. He didn't know what to say to her. He knew that he needed to say something, but he wasn't certain what that was, so he asked the questioned he'd wanted to ask her earlier. 

"Would you have told me that you'd slept with him, if I...if you weren't pregnant?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation, "that's one of the reasons why I came to your office."

He nodded as if it made perfect sense. "What was the other reason?" He asked the question, but he didn't want to know the answer. He had a feeling what she would say. He'd been running from this answer for a month.

Lily took in a deep breath, held it, and then slowly let it out. There was no easy way to say this, she'd always known that it would be hard to say, but now, knowing that she was with child, made it ten times worse. But there was nothing for it. She hadn't changed her mind, not even now, because how could she, when everything she had known was a lie? 

"I was going to tell you that I thought we should separate," she swallowed, "but now…" she trailed off.

"Now," he said forcing her to hold his direct gaze.

"Now, I want a divorce."

"You want to leave me for him."

"This isn't about Billy," she said.

"Well, as far as I can see it is."

"No, Nick it's not," at his look of disbelief she went on. "There were problems in our marriage before Billy came into town. I tried to talk to you about it, but you wouldn't listen. You were too busy with work and Symphonic Smells." Lily turned towards the door, unable to say this part to his face. "I was happy. I tried to tell myself that I was, but the truth," she turned back to him. "The truth is that I haven't been happy in our marriage for a while."

Nick could feel his heart stop at her words. He'd always thought that she was happy. He'd never known that she was unhappy in their marriage...that he made her unhappy. "Why didn't you tell me? I wasn't always working on Symphonic Smells, so why?"

"Why?" She sighed. "Nick, because there was always a Symphonic Smells, but it went by a different name or had something to do with Newman. You rarely made time for me."

"Lily,"

She held up her hand, "It was different when we first got married, and I...I just wanted to be a good wife, so I put your career first, and I told myself the first time you left me in New York during Fashion week to take care of a deal, that was more important than standing around and watching me network. I put the message in my head, and somewhere along the line I convinced myself that it was true. I convinced myself that your career was more important than mine, and as your wife, I needed to be there for you."

Nick wanted to say that he was sorry, but he knew it wouldn't be enough. He was angry, angry with her for not speaking up, and angry with himself for not asking her how she felt.

As if she could read his mind she said, "It's not all on you. I should have said something, before it got to this point, but I didn't, so here we are."

Nick stared her for a long moment and asked the only thing he could, "Do you still love me?" 

She looked away for a beat, before turning back, "Yes, I do."

The darkness receded even further at her words.

"But," She took a deep breath and blinked, "It's not enough."

"Lily how can you say that," he asked feeling the surge of blackness begin to take over his soul. "How," He said the words slowly, "Can you say that?"

"Because Nick, it takes more than love to make a marriage work."

"Ours can work."

"No it can't."

"Why not? Because you're in love with Billy?"

Time stopped and Lily could swear she heard the second hand make its slow journey around the clock on her wall.

"Say it," he demanded.

"Nick."

"Say it."

Lily turned to away.

"No, you look me in my face and and answer the question. You want to lay all of the cards on the table, well, go ahead."

Lily turned back to face her husband. His eyes where almost black with anger, his jaw was tight and his hands were clenched into fists. Lily would never admit it to him or anyone else, but at that moment she was very afraid of her husband. She moved her hand towards the remote on the side of her bed that would alert the nurse's station. She didn't think he would hurt her, but she honestly wasn't one hundred percent sure. Her mind drifted back to the way he'd handled Sharon. She felt the small box in her hands, before she answered.

Nick watched the fear in her eyes and then glanced down to her hand that was resting on the remote. She was afraid of him, and that more than anything else calmed him. He wasn't absolutely calm, but he never wanted Lily to be afraid of him.

As if sensing his change of mood she said, "Yes."

Nick closed his eyes to keep the rage that shot through him at her words at bay. He needed to be calm or he would do something terrible, not to her, never to her. But it didn't mean that he wouldn't pick up a chair and throw it against a wall. "So part of our issue is about Billy," Nick said. "But then again, Billy has always been a part of our marriage and your heart." 

Her heart felt heavy, because she knew his words to be true. "Fine, yes Billy is a part of it, but so are Sharon...and Noah."

And just like that, the mention of his son pushed back the anger that coursed through his limbs, leaving him empty and alone in the dark.