Chapter Eight



As I sat in the auditorium, I fidgeted in my seat, waiting for the moment that they began calling out the names of the graduates. A few rows ahead of me sat Tatiana; every now and then, she’d turn around sneakily and give me a bright smile before snapping her head back around to pretend she’s paying attention.

I skimmed as much of the crowd as I could to see if I could spot my family. They were supposed to be seated so that they’d be the first thing I saw once I exited the stage. True to their word, they were right on the sidelines next to the stage, grinning and waving at me. My mom was standing up the entire time with a video camera clad in her hands.

“Damn, he’s sexy.” I heard the girl next to me mumble. Following her eyes, I spotted Trey, with a sexy smirk, staring in our direction. When he saw that I was staring at him, he winked at me and blew me a kiss. I smiled widely and returned it.

“I think he’s flirting with me.” The girl stated giddily. I rolled my eyes at her ignorance and laughed.

“That’s my baby.” I said with a toothy grin, putting an end to her hopeless fantasies. She turned to look at me and shot me a stink look before sucking her teeth. I simply ignored her and continued with my perpetrating of actually paying attention to the service.


“There‘s my favorite baby!” My mom shouted once I walked out of the building with my diploma in hand. Immediately, cameras began flashing, nearly blinding me. I took pictures with everyone in my family before I saw any signs of Trey or Tati.

“Oh no, tell me that boy isn’t about to come over here.” My dad groaned.

“Be quiet! Pookie, go get Trey so that you two can take a picture together.” My mom ordered. I didn’t have to walk far, being as though Trey was merely inches away from us. I grabbed his hand and yanked him over to me with a violent jerk. I kissed his cheek and about a dozen photos were taken at that moment alone. We did a couple of poses before Tati joined in. She and Trey took some pictures alone and then the three of us took one.

In the midst of taking billions of photos, I looked a little to the left and my heart jumped at the sight of Jarell walking towards us with balloons in his hands. For a brief, imaginative moment, I actually thought that he was here for me, but then I remembered that he knew Tati and not me.

“Congratulations.” He spoke, giving Tati two of the four balloons. She smiled and hugged him, placing a small kiss on his forehead. Once he let her go, he turned to me and passed the remaining two balloons to me. Shocked, I stood there for a moment before accepting them.

“Aw, thanks.” I smiled wider than ever. “You didn’t have to.” I added, holding the strings tightly so that they wouldn’t slip away.

“You’re welcome.” He said with a small smile. I grinned cheekily and turned to Trey with a frown now on my face.

“How come you ain‘t get me nothing?” I asked him, with an added punch on his shoulder. An amused frown graced his features as he held his arm playfully and stared down at me. A slow smirk then appeared on his face as he leaned in close to my ear.

“I got something better for you later on.” His words made me blush as I bit down on my bottom lip. My smile faltered whenever my eyes encountered the menacing orbs of my father. I quickly turned away and looked back at Trey, who was oblivious to my dad staring us down like hawks.

Once the hype quelled, instead of leaving with Trey, I left with my family and Tati, who was invited to eat at my house. Trey and Jarell were invited also but they had to go somewhere. I promised both of them that I’d save them a plate, which I will, if any food was left by the time my greedy family was finished.

The whole time Tati and I were at my house, we couldn’t stop thinking and talking about what was to go down tonight. I already had plans to spend the night with them so I was free to do whatever.

“Girl, Mandy, we got to find you something cute to wear.” She said swimming in my closet. I laughed at how antsy she was but I couldn’t blame her. We were in for a long night and everything had to be perfect, if not, then we at least had to be. Once she emerged from my closet, I saw that she had one of the hoochiest outfits known to man in her hand. “Perfect!”

“I haven‘t worn that since the ice ages, and even then, I wore stuff with it to cover my nakedness.” I told her with a small roll of the eyes.

“Girl, you‘ll have Trey whooping plenty of asses in this.” She said laughing.

“Hell nah, Trey wouldn‘t let me leave the bathroom with that on.” I laughed with her.

“Fuck him, you are grown and you can do whatever the hell you want to.”

“I am not about to wear that dress, you can see right through it. Besides, it was made to sleep in anyways.” After losing my virginity, I became wild for a period; that explained some of the revealing things I still had in the depths of my closet. I didn’t have sex with anyone but Chris, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be a tease. That lasted for a while until something happened that calmed my ass down dramatically.

“Let me drive your car since you don‘t like to drive it.” She suggested once I was packed up and ready to leave this land of boredom. I nodded with an added shrug to my shoulders.

“I bet the engine has cobwebs and stuff by now.” I joked. When I started high school, my dad bought me a 2006 Lexus coupe that wasn’t even released yet until two years later. I loved the car but never drove it due to off the chart gas prices. I had no job and even though I could easily leach of my dad, I chose not to. I wasn’t that type of person, although at times, I’ve been tempted.

Arriving at her house, Tati was greeted with about a dozen cars parked on her yard. Frowning, I turned to her for answers, only to get a puzzled look from her too. She actually had to park across the street because of the lack of space in the yard.

“I thought you said it was supposed to be at a club.” I stated as she shrugged.

“I thought so too.” She said. “People are probably just meeting here before they head over to the Kush Lounge.” She said as we grabbed our things and headed for her house. Entering, we were greeted with the smell of weed and alcohol. Tati looked as if she was used to it all, I on the other hand became slightly nervous.

I haven’t been in this type of environment for so long that I’ve almost become uptight about it. I wanted to leave before I lost the self-control I’ve worked so hard to regain over the years. The smell of weed was so tantalizing that I could almost taste it as much as I could smell it. I could feel the alcohol burning my chest right now and I could taste it on my tongue.

“Wassup baby?” I heard Trey slur from behind me. I turned around quickly to see him standing there with chink eyes, leaned back with his arms folded. If there was a word other than sexy to describe him I would use it. However, there wasn’t any.

“Hey Trey.” I said, walking into his arms as he unfolded them in a gesture to hug me. I inhaled the mixture of weed and alcohol that was imbedded in his clothes, enjoying every minute of his presence. I was beginning to think he wasn‘t here.

“What took yall so long to get here?” He asked, breathing into my neck. His hot breath against my neck made me moist in areas that were normally dry. I almost hated the affect he had on me, yet I loved it at the same time. He made me weak, which was good, but bad whenever he wanted something out of me.

“I had to find something to wear.” I told him, my voice was muffled by his shoulder since it was pressed near my mouth. Inhaling deeply, he let go of the majority of my body, still hanging on to my hips.

“Damn girl.” He mumbled, taking in a full body view of me.

“What?” I asked; he shook his head and began backing away from me. When I stood still, he beckoned me with his fingers.

“Follow me.” The way his voice increased in bass and the way that wanton smirk played about his lips, I knew what was to be next and I couldn’t say that I minded; couldn’t say I minded at all.




The average summer day consisted of me hanging out with either Tati or Trey at their house. Most of the time Tati was out with her boyfriend Torrance leaving me alone with Trey. However, Trey would sometime leave early in the morning and come in late at night. Since he blew up on me the last time I mentioned something about him selling drugs, I decided not to even bother questioning where he was. I had other things to worry about besides his location.

Unlike the rumors I’ve heard, Jarell wasn’t anything people depicted of him. Many thought that he was right along with Trey in the drug trade but from eavesdropping on their convos, I learned that he wanted no part in what Trey did which was smart. Why they were friends was beyond me. They were totally different, almost like oil and water but somehow, they blended well.

Another thing I noticed was that Jarell spent a lot of his time at Trey’s house as well. While he normally remained downstairs, I hogged either Tati or Trey’s room; most of the time, I was in Trey’s. We have still yet to speak more than three words to one another. At least now it wasn’t as awkward for me to be around him as it was before hand.

As of right now, I sat on Trey’s bed with a bowl of cereal while watching Disney Channel. During commercials, I couldn’t help but to stare at the picture of the female that was placed neatly on Trey’s dresser. It bugged the hell out of me not knowing who she was. I know she wasn’t just a random girl he knew but I couldn’t get him to tell me what importance she held in his life.

I’ve been trying to get Trey to open up to me but he barely says anything to me…on an intellectual level. I didn’t mind at first but lately, I’ve been wondering why the hell I was even hanging around. What I knew about Trey came from me observing him and what Tati has told me. It was like I was in a relationship with a brick wall; he was just there. I loved being with him and I enjoyed his company…whenever he was around.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t be that nagging girlfriend that always wanted attention or the one that would never shut up but lately, it seems like I may have to turn into that to get some type of response out of Trey. He was the perfect person to hang and joke with but he lacked personality when it came to serious subjects.

He didn’t even talk about his mom for goodness sake.

Last week I tried to tell him that maybe we would be better off as friends. He was definitely not hearing any of what I had to say. He confused the hell out of me with everything. He wanted me here, yet he made no efforts at keeping me here. It wasn’t like I wanted a fully detailed biography of his entire life span, I just wanted to know different things about the person that orbited throughout my life.

Come to think of it, I don’t even know his favorites. I barely knew him.

Red was his favorite color and he loved the hell out of fried chicken. His temper reared its ugly head every once and a while but other than that, he was one of the sweetest people I knew. As much as I adored Trey, I don’t know how much more I could take of him. Was it normal to feel this way? Should I give him a chance or would I be wasting my time if I stuck with him?

“Bay, you sleep?” Trey asked, disrupting my serene trance. I had my eyes closed the whole time while I thought about various things that went on in my life. Trey obviously being the primary target of most of my thoughts.

“No.” I answered. My words gave him permission to slide in behind me and wrap his arms around me, digging his chin into the curve of my neck and shoulder. I remained stiff for a few seconds before I finally exhaled, making myself more comfortable in his hold.

There was something different about him that I sensed the moment he opened his mouth. This sudden change in the atmosphere alerted me. Turning in his arms to face him, I took a good look at him. Being that I had my back turned to the door when he came in, I missed the scar right under his eye and near the corner of his mouth.

Although the scars were small, they weren’t unnoticed. I scanned his entire physique to make sure nothing else was out of place. Just as I was about to look away, I noticed a jagged tear on the side of his shirt. Peering into the hole, I took note of a huge, purple bruise that looked pretty damn bad for him to be laying here as if nothing happened.

“Trey…what happened?” I asked him. My forehead was now creased with slight wrinkles caused by my frown. His eyes opened slightly, to peer up at me and just as suspected, they closed again as he shook his head.

“Don‘t worry about it.” Those were the words I hated the most coming from him. I hated whenever he just dropped the subject, leaving me clueless about everything that was happening. Trey was so tight lipped, he could be dying of Cancer and I wouldn’t know until the damn Autopsy.

“Trey, this is ridiculous. What good am I to you if you don‘t tell me anything? What am I here for, my health? Why won‘t you talk to me?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Shit I don‘t know; whatever the hell you want to tell me. Whatever the hell you‘re going through, I want to be there for you so you won‘t feel like you‘re in it by yourself.” The room fell silent while my words hung in the air. He closed his eyes again as if he were contemplating on whether to open up and tell me, or revert into the shell he’d grown accustomed. If it were the latter, I’d seriously lose my mind.

“I got into a fight.” He said. A ‘Class A Retard’ could figure that much out but hey, it was a start. When he didn’t continue, I decided to help him along.

“With who?” My voice came out softer than I intended.

“Some nigga.” He responded. I opened my mouth to encourage him to go on but he did so on his own. “He wouldn‘t pay me so I had to take it from him. He wanted to be dumb and fight back so…” His voice trailed off and a heavy feeling developed in my lower abdomen. Swallowing hard, I debated whether to leave the subject alone.

“You didn‘t do anything stupid though, right?” His eyes opened again and gazed at me with an emotionless expression.

“No.” He said as I let out a sigh of relief. The way his jaw clenched told me that he was fighting the urge to say more. I caught onto it and decided not to provoke him, all it would do is lead into an argument, an argument I wasn’t up for today.

“Does it hurt? Do you need me to get anything for you?” I asked him. All I got was a lousy shake of the head and a low, inaudible mumble that I couldn’t make out. He went to turn on his side but I stopped him. “Trey, are you sure you’re okay? Your lip doesn‘t look too good.” I pressed. A warning glare was all I needed to shut me up. If he wanted to sit in pain, then I would go right on and let him. His reaction towards me only gave me another reason why I wanted out. Maybe I was being irrational but hey, he was the one that wouldn’t let me near him emotionally.

“You know what, I‘m out.” I said, sliding from under the covers. Since I was already dressed in a wife beater and shorts, I slid on my sandals, which was by the door and swung the door open. I paused for a moment after coming face to face with Jarell, debating if I should just storm pass him or say something. This nigga always seemed to know when the hell to pop up. It was almost scary.

“Wassup?” He greeted. Shocked a little, I took a while to respond. Normally, it would be me to be the first one to say hey…maybe he was finally getting used to me.

“Hey Jarell.” I said with a warm smile. My crush for him has almost shrunk into a smidgen of nothing. I still thought he was gorgeous but as of now, there were no feelings left for him. I was too busy keeping up with Trey to have a crush on anyone else.

Walking past him, I ignored Trey as he attempted to call after me to come back. As I descended the stairs, I twisted my hair into a makeshift ponytail made up of my own hair and grabbed my car keys off the coffee table where I left them. Yes…I actually drove. This summer, the temperature reached maximum highs and I’d be crazy if I was caught walking in this heat. Normally the heat didn’t bother me but this was ridiculous.

“Yo, what‘s wrong with you?” Trey asked, coming from nowhere to grab my arm, preventing me from getting inside of my car.

“Trey, get the hell off me.” I scoffed while yanking away from him. I only got out of his grip because he willingly let me loose. I tried once again to get away but he stopped me, this time moving in front of me to block my path.

“What‘s wrong?” He asked.

“Oh, so now you want to talk?” I stated sarcastically. He shot me a ‘don’t play with me girl’ look that I returned with more frustration present on my face. For a while, we both stared each other down, not wanting to give in to the other. Finally, he looked away and sighed exasperatedly.

“Yo, why does it matter so much to you about what goes on with me? I go through the same shit every damn day, it‘s not gonna change, Mandy.” Trey said.

“Okay…and? I care about you…therefore, I care about the shit you do. Damn, why are you being so difficult Trey? You‘re acting as if I want you to write a 16 page essay on what the fuck you do and how the hell you do it. I‘m in a relationship with you but I barely know you Trey. You probably know me like the back of your damn hand by now whereas I don’t even know the simplest thing about you. It‘s like you‘re pushing me away before I can even get close to you.” Silence fell upon us like a suffocating blanket. He held this blank look on his face that I wasn’t able to read to save my life. I didn’t know whether he actually heard me or if he was off in his own little world.

“You know what, just forget it.” I threw my hands up in the air and turned on my heels, and slid my body into the front seat of my car and started it. “Will you move?” I snapped angrily at him. He gave me a look before stepping back slowly. I shook my head and slammed the door, reversing out of his driveway and out of his damn life.