God is in the rain.

Evelyn did what she did best when Aidan confronted her. She lied, she soothed, she lured him with the promise of sex.

“She didn’t try to contact you at all?” He asked, staring deep into her eyes as if trying to catch glimpse the lie that was hiding.

“No. She didn’t tell me at all. I had no idea that she even…escaped. ” Tying to appear authentic, she tried to look hurt by that idea. It wasn’t hard.

The fire faded from his eyes. He was relieved. He bent down to kiss her, pressing her against the bark of the apple tree.

His hands slid her skirt up, the silk gliding smoothly against her thighs. Panties pulled to the side, his fingers slid in roughly and Evelyn gasped at the contact.

She closed her eyes. Blocked him out, thought of someone else.

Lillian.

The city girl. The dancer. All swank and glitter and sexuality. Surety and dangerous.

Her voice was quiet but it always filled the whole room. When she danced, her face and body lit up from within and her surroundings would suddenly abloom with beauty.

Her energy and her resilience were creatures wholly unto themselves. Evelyn watched her carve mountains and stars out of the indifferent darkness. The stars had a rhythm and Lillian knew their meter. She would tilt her head and listen, eyes wide to the sound of the planets sliding.

Lillian would lie in the garden most afternoons with a book, glasses resting precariously on the end of her nose. Under the apple tree that she had grown herself, first in a pot for months before planting it in the ground. She never seemed to wear clothes. Her nakedness was, at times, too much for Evelyn.

Lillian had promised she would come back in time to harvest the fruit.

Evelyn had completely sunk into the sand of her skin. Slick with sweat. Tongues slippery with promises. Hooked inside each other, they would reach the edge, feeling their bodies clench just before that moment of pure bliss surged through them like electricity. Evelyn would close her eyes and tilt her head back. Allow her body to fall.

Afterwards, Lillian would hold her hand, lean close and whisper in her ear. Eyes shining, skin luminous.

Her lover’s lover.

She was pulled out of her reverie at the feel of Aidan’s hands clenched around her wrists, grinding her bones as he pushed her to the ground. She lay beneath him.

“Take me with you”.

Lillian looked up from the cash in her hand, a slight puzzled look on her face.

“Where?”

Evelyn swallowed nervously, glanced quickly behind her at the window outside, as if Aidan would suddenly appear out of thin air.

“Now that you’re out, I was thinking…can I see you still?” She turned her head and looked at the rivulets of rain running down the glass.

Lillian smiled at her, relieved. “Silly you,” she said, “Of course you can. It won’t be often but maybe later once things have settled down, you can visit whenever you like.” She resumed counting the money. The money Evelyn had given her.

Evelyn could feel her heart drop into her stomach. Whenever you like, not forever. She wanted to protest, beg, but her mouth wouldn’t form the words. She didn’t have the strength.

Lillian looked at Evelyn and frowned upon seeing her expression, her terrified face.

“What’s wrong, dear?”

“I just thought…I thought we had something”.

“Oh, honey. We do” she purred, “Of course we do, we’ve had some great times together. You’re very special to me”.

“But you…I thought we were in love” Evelyn was trembling.

“Love?” Lillian scoffed. Her eyes turned cold. “Aidan said he loved me, everything he did to me over and over…he claimed he did for love”.

It had always been this way. Aidan, the man who linked them, was a topic off bounds to Lillian. Evelyn mentioned his name and always noted the same reaction. Lillian shutting down. It was those times when Evelyn felt something other than pure adoration, when she wanted to shake her and ask what the hell it was he had done to her.

“But we’re different” Evelyn felt her eyes well up.

Lillian shook her head and Evelyn felt the coldness of the night seep through her skin.

“I don’t understand” she said, shaking her head. Yet she knew she was lying to herself. They didn’t belong to each other, they never had. Evelyn had wanted something real. She had wanted the full romantic package, the white picket fence. Lillian had wanted something else. Revenge on Aidan, maybe. Or knowing that Evelyn would come in handy. Or maybe just pleasure. A Sunday fuck to fill in the time.

“You used me…you used me! You never loved me at all! You cold, evil bitch. I should…” She felt shattered, a thousand slivers of glass.

“You’ll what? Tell Aidan you helped me leave? Go ahead, I’m actually counting on you to do that” Lillian smiled triumphantly, as if she had been waiting for the right time for Evelyn to get mad so that she could retaliate in kind. She let out a mirthless laugh, “Love is the reason people do horrible things to each other…don’t you know that? You stupid girl, you stupid, stupid girl”. She smirked, grabbed her bag and hoisted it over her shoulder.

 “Run along home to your husband now, Evie” she added in a sing-song voice, her face cold, a complete stranger.

She turned and left. Evelyn watched her walk through the downpour, the water soaking through her thin dress. She imagined running outside, kissing Lillian on the mouth. She wondered if she would taste like rain.

Her lover’s lover.

Aidan groaned as he came, slumped down against her, his heavy weight both suffocating and soothing.

“I love you” He said.

“Yes” She replied, watching the apples shudder on their branches.