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The last time I saw Nathaniel Blake I was in the prime of my adolescence, riddled with teenage hormones that were all aimed towards him. I was attracted to his personality and his looks, well mostly looks. What can I say? He had a killer smile and extraordinary bright brown eyes that had a persona of their own. You could read his thoughts and his feelings just by staring into his eyes. It was easy for me to assume that he was a horrible liar because of that.
I learned about him from watching him or listening to what other people said about him. He was smart, really smart and a prankster. A few months ago, the school alarm system would go off every time the office telephone rang. The principle let us leave early because the constant noise. I heard Nathanial was the one responsible for it. What made me fall in love with him, besides his looks, was the fact that he rides a motorcycle, a black and silver 2010 Triumph Thunderbird. I love motorcycles; my dad owns a chop shop and made sure that I was as passionate as he was about vehicles.
I heard that he was moving away to Alaska or someplace because of his army dad. This would be the last day that I would be able to tell him how I feel so I decided it would be better for me if I tell him how I feel.
“Nate?” I called to him as I stood beside him in front of his locker. I took a quick glance inside and saw that it was bare except for random graffiti that was placed inside. I briefly wondered if he had done it himself.
“Yea?” I could tell that he was surprised. I wasn’t the most talkative person in school.
My throat felt dry, “Um…Did you get the History assignment?”
He closed his locker before moving a loose braid out of his face. “You’re in my History class?”
“Yes, I’m Toni.”
His stare was blank.
“Toni Akida,” I said slowly, trying to jog his memory.
I felt my face warming at his compliment and he must have seen my blush spreading across my cheeks because he smiled at me again but I could tell that it was an awkward moment for him.
Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to tell him that I had a crush on him since I was a freshman. I was afraid of being humiliated like those drama queens in Disney Channel movies. I didn’t want to become the center of the rumor mill.
“I didn’t get the homework,” His eyes were apologetic.
“Ihadacrushonyousinceforever,” I blurted out all at once. If I was going to get it out, I had to force it. I sounded like a three year old on a sugar high.
“I’ve liked you since freshmen year. I just wanted to tell you before you left.”
I watched as his lips twitched as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. I knew that it was a bomb that I dropped on him but I felt relieved. It was like this huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders and now I wanted to escape.
“I know you don’t see me that way,” I finished for him.
He put his backpack on like it was filled with dead weight and slung it over his shoulders that were now hunched before walking away. Even though it wasn’t the way I wanted it to end, I felt like I somehow grown up. I started to leave as well but his baritone voice stopped me. “Wait.”
He turned to me again but this time his bright eyes were not as bright to me. Maybe it was the lighting?
“Toni, my name’s Toni.” I corrected.
“Sorry but I get this a lot and I want to know do you ladies think about the burden you put on a guy when you tell him you like him?”
“No, I guess I never thought about it like that.”
“You really liked me as much as you say you do, I wish you would have thought about how I would feel after you tell me and I don’t feel great.”
“You’re the hottest guy in school and I’ m just me.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way about yourself but I’m glad you understand,” he said before leaving.
That was the last time I saw Nathaniel Blake.