“Alandra, you run a successful advertising agency, you’re engaged to Brazilian actor and model, Julio Malfacini, and it looks like you’re about to tackle a new role: mommy. How does it all feel?” The daytime talk-show host asked.

I flashed an easy smile and touched my protruding belly. “All I can say is it’s not easy being superwoman.”

It’s also not easy being a fraud.

If I were to tell you that my life was all glitz and glamour, I wouldn’t be lying but what the good folks at Forbes don’t tell you is that it’s lonely at the top. I could count on one hand the number of relationships that I’d attempted, that same number of which had also failed miserably. I had more of an attachment to my BlackBerry than I did an actual person. Scratch that. That’s not entirely true.

I had Julio.

Thank God for him. He had been my friend for as long as I could remember; maybe even before then. Julio was a constant in my life and I was happy for that. Plus, it was a bonus that he was my tabloid scapegoat and as gay as the days were long. I could rely on him to take the heat off of me when the papers had nothing better to do than have their heads so far up my ass, they couldn’t see past Tuesday. There was always speculation whether we were dating or not and we never denied any of the claims because what business was it of theirs?

Julio wasn’t quite ready for the world to know of his secret life and I don’t think the world was ready to hear the news that their favorite foreign beef cake liked American sausages more than Mexican tacos…if you get my drift. He was happy with the charade and I wasn’t going to blow the horn on my best friend. But if I wanted…I had the power to make it happen.

But as I was saying, it was lonely at the top. I was in my mid-thirties, unmarried, a successful business woman who still wasn’t content with the way life was going. I needed to tackle a new challenge. I wanted to take on motherhood but without a single worthwhile individual to help my dream come to fruition, I was at a stale mate.

Then, a light bulb went off in my head during an evening dinner with Julio.

“Father my children.”

Julio choked on the wine he’d been in the middle of sipping. “Excuse me?” Even after three decades of living in Los Angeles, Julio still had the thick Brazilian accent that had garnered Hollywood’s attention.

“You heard me, Julio. Father my children.”

“I think you’ve had too much wine, meu amor.” He began to reach for my glass.

I moved the wine from his reach and took a sip of my own just to spite him. “I’m not drunk. I’m seeing more than clearly now. If I’m going to do this, it has to be with someone I trust.”

Julio opened his mouth to speak than quickly shut it.

Really, what was he to say to my request? I had fully expected this reaction. This wasn’t like asking to borrow a cup of sugar. There were risks and no guarantees with a baby and no refunds if the kid turned out to be a complete maniac.

“Why a baby? Why not…a kitten or even a darling puppy?”

“Because it’s my right as a woman to carry and bare children. Because I need a legacy, Julio. I don’t want to leave this world without knowing there’s someone in it, besides you who will show the rest of these fools how it’s done. And because I can think of no better set of genes than yours and mine to create the perfect super spawn. My biological clock is ticking, Julio. I’m thirty-five years old and feel as though I have nothing of substance to show for it.”

I took a deep breath and watched his expression. He was searching my eyes for the truth. Julio knew me better than anyone and if he saw a flaw in this thing or didn’t feel as though I was doing this with the utmost sincerity, I’d never have the opportunity to be a mother.

“This is a huge favor to ask of someone. I do not know if I’m ready to be a father…or even if I’m father material.”

“That’s the beauty of it; you wouldn’t have any tie to the child if you didn’t want it. You know I can provide for a child in every way imaginable. You can remain a free agent.”

He sucked on his tongue in thought. “I do not think I like that. I’m all for living the bachelor life, but if I knew I had a child out in the world, I’d want to be a part of his or her life. Family is very important to me. I cannot just cut ties with someone who is a part of me like—”

I grabbed my empty plate and snatched up his, not caring that he was only halfway finished with his meal. “Like what? Like me? Just say it Julio.”  I tossed both dishes into the sink with as much force as I could muster and watched them shatter against the chrome sides.

“Meu amor, I did not mean it like that,” he said gently as he came up behind me. “I know why you do not speak with your mother. I was right there with you, remember?

I remembered all too well. My mother was the reason why I didn’t trust men or think much of people in general. She’d been running the same scam for years — marrying for money and then divorcing, citing irreconcilable differences. She’d been married five times, if my math was correct and I was sure this most recent one was about to get the boot soon. It had all come to a head the night of my twenty-fifth birthday. She’d promised to take me to dinner — just me and her. She was attempting the straight and narrow for once in her life, having landed a job as a receptionist at a local shipping company. At the time, I was convinced that she was finally done with the games and ready to grow up. I was more than ready for my mother to become the woman she was meant to be and had planned to let her know that night.

I’d been overly excited, thinking this would be the time I’d tell her about my idea to start my own advertising firm. Instead, she’d stood me up to rendezvous with the man who had been the CEO of the company where she worked and her soon-to-be third husband. She would later admit that the only reason he’d agreed to marry her was that she’d trapped him with a false positive pregnancy test. With that startling revelation, I’d decided I’d had enough. I didn’t attend her wedding, which in turn caused her to cut me out of her life — if only temporarily. When Loretta Meyer-Jamison-Walker-Jennings got mad, she didn’t stay made for very long. After a few months, and once her third divorce was finalized, she called again to apologize and ask for money, as she’d already blown through her settlement. By that point, I was networking and attending conferences on a weekly basis to garner attention and collect a list of potential clients for my business.

Later in the day, I’d gone to Julio’s apartment and poured my heart out to him. He’d let me cry myself to sleep on his shoulder and had tucked me into his bed that night.

I’d be forever grateful for him.

“Ali, minha querida, give me time to consider this.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me.

“I’m sorry Julio. You’re right.” I sighed and turned my body into his embrace. I buried my nose in his chest for a moment before pulling away. “I’m being completely insensitive to your feelings. Take your time. This is a huge decision and I don’t want you to rush anything.”

“You will not hate me if the answer is no, will you?”

I lifted my face and tried to muster a reassuring smile. “I’ll love you no matter what the answer is. The fact that you’re even thinking it over means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

I stood on my toes and laid a chaste kiss on his lips.

****

Two weeks later, I was still at a stale mate. Julio hadn’t given me an answer and I wasn’t willing to push the matter for fear that I could screw up my chances if I demanded a response of him. He held my future in his hands.

I would simply wait…which was the hardest part.

When a knock sounded at my office door, I expected to see my executive assistant, Olivia, saunter in wearing something that wasn’t even close to work appropriate.

I swiveled around in my chair and smirked at Julio standing in the threshold of my office. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I need a reason to visit my best friend?” His dark exotic eyes twinkled with mischief, which peaked my interest. I stood from my chair and made my way over to greet him properly.

His six-foot frame made it a little difficult to wrap my arms around his neck. Most times I opted for his shoulders and let him lift me to his level. He always smelled clean shaven and fresh, even after a workout. The man was one in a million.

“Of course not. It’s just unusual for you to come by unannounced in the middle of the day. Speaking of which, Olivia didn’t even phone to let me know you were here.” I looked over Julio’s shoulder toward my receptionist desks that was irksomely empty.

I rolled my eyes and groaned. It was just like her to leave for lunch without notifying me. I should have fired Olivia weeks ago, but because she was the niece of a sorority sister, I’d tried to give her more chances than she’d deserved. This would be the last time I practiced nepotism.

When I focused back on Julio, he held up a bright pink sticky note. “About your screening process, I believe this is for you.”

I snatched the note from his large hands and read it quickly.

Ms. Meyer,

I quit. Sorry.

- Olivia

“That is probably the shortest resignation letter I have ever seen.” Julio smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. “The little hearts she used to dot her I’s are cute, yes?”

“Shut up, Julio.” I growled and balled up the Post-It note, throwing it over my shoulder. “That girl has impeccable timing. I set up a meeting with our biggest client next week, and she decides to quit! How unprofessional will it look for the President to be secretarially challenged? Also, she can’t quit. I’m supposed to have the pleasure of firing her.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and I tried to take cleansing breaths.

“As it seems you are not in a good mood, I guess I should reveal the purpose of my visit and then make a quick exit. I need a favor,” he said with the roll of his tongue, making his accent more prominent. “My cousin is coming into town and—”

“Forget it,” I said abruptly and turned to walk back to my desk.

Closing the door quickly, Julio trailed behind me as he began to explain himself. “You have not even heard what I’m going to say.”

“I don’t need to hear the rest. I’m not going on a date with anyone related to you.”

“That is not very nice, meu amor.” Julio frowned, looking genuinely upset by the comment.

“Yeah? Well, take it up with Joanie in Human Resources. I don’t have the time.”

“Melhor amiga, listen. I’m not asking you to take anyone on a date. HHe needs a temporary job, and since you have a secretarial position that just opened up…”

I began to shake my head. “Do I have the words ‘preferential treatment’ stamped on my forehead or something?”

“You do not understand. He is—”

“Nope, not going to happen. The last favor I did for someone got me saddled with a pre-pubescent twit and a resignation Post-It note."

Having had enough of my evasion, he stood in front of me and secured my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to match his gaze. “I promise, Alandra, if you give my cousin a job you will not be sorry. My family is very hard working. Just look at me.”

He stood proudly, as if he was the prime example of why I should hire anyone in relation to him. Julio was a proud man; he was also completely out of his mind if he thought I would hire another person as a favor to someone else.

“The answer is no.” I turned away from his touch and moved around him to occupy my chair once again. “It’s not going to happen.”

Julio sighed sadly. “Is there no way to convince you?”

I looked up from my mound of paper work and gave him a look that was supposed to be sympathetic yet partially dismissive. “There’s no way I’m going to agree to it. Look, I know you’re trying to do something good here but I don’t have the time or the patience for this right now. I’ll see if Georgia has an assistant position open in the design department. That’s the best I can do. There’s no room for error at the executive level. I’m sorry.”

I switched my focus to my computer screen where I opened up a Word document ready to prepare a memo Olivia was supposed type last week, but never got around to it. I could see Julio out of my peripheral vision, unmoving. I had hoped that he would leave of his own accord so I didn’t have to continue with my bitch act. However, he was making it very difficult.

“Is there anything else, Julio?” I said in my professional voice that was reserved for my associates, and individuals I didn’t much care for. I hated having to use it with Julio.

“As a matter of fact, there is.”

I raised an eyebrow at the challenge in his stance and the defiant tone of his voice.

“Yes?”

“I’ve made a decision.”

“Regarding?” I asked idly.

“A child.”

That garnered my full attention. My body went stark still as I studied the man in front of me, the man I thought I knew like the back of my hand. The implications of his words weren’t lost by any means and I fought to stay in control of my emotions.

“I think you should leave before you say something you can’t take back.” I spoke lowly and prayed to God that he would turn around, walk out that door and we could forget ever having had this conversation.

Acting as if he hadn’t heard me, his expression remained the same. “What I decide is up to you.”

If not for the complete void of emotion on Julio’s face, I’d have said he was joking. Never, in the years I’d known him, had he been so somber about anything. We rarely ever seriously fought. Sure, we disagreed and had heated discussions about things but they never lasted long. This, however, was one battle that seemed to have no end.

“Are you seriously using my dream of motherhood as…leverage?” I asked in disbelief.

“Think of this as a precondition. You have something I need and I have something you need.” Looking more than ashamed of himself, Julio let his head hang low. This was a side of him I’d never seen before and it completely shocked me.

This ruthless person — who’d stop at nothing to get what he wanted — wasn’t him. It wasn’t him at all. It was always me but I never used that side of myself on anyone I actually cared for. I didn’t like this role reversal one bit.

 “You’re…unbelievable. Get out. Get out right now!” I ground out and pointed toward the door.

“I did not mean to hurt or offend you, meu amor, but this is very important to me and to my family. Please consider it.”

Hesitantly, he reached for me and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and stood rigid as I waited for him to step away. I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding when the door shut behind him. I rested my weight on the edge of my desk and blinked away tears.

If this was a prelude to parenthood, I could definitely do without.

Julio and I didn’t speak for the rest of the week. I was sluggish and irritable and pitied anyone who got in my way. When Friday afternoon rolled around, I welcomed the weekend with open arms.

I missed Julio like crazy. I had almost convinced myself that he’d had a lobotomy and that the person in my office wasn’t my Julio. I was tempted to pick up the phone and call him but I resisted. He’d started this war and it was up to him to fix it.

Although, I’d known that I’d taken some cheap shots at him and had pushed him to a limit. Julio was a very family oriented person. On the first of every month he’d send money home to his parents. If someone in his family needed something, whether it was a third cousin’s sister’s friend’s mother’s husband, he was right there to lend a hand.

I should have given his cousin the job, I thought that Sunday morning when I woke up. I knew that I should have just relented and given it to him, but my damn hardheadedness had made me resist. And ironically, with the stress of putting my meetings together and mine and Julio’s impending fight, I hadn’t had time to look for Olivia’s replacement.

It was just too much and I was getting a head ache thinking about it. I needed coffee in my system to jump start my day. The intoxicating aroma of the dark liquid always got me going in the morning. I could smell it now…as a matter of fact, I really could smell it.

When I rounded the corner to my kitchen, there stood Julio with a mug in his hand a fresh pot brewing behind him.

“Hello, meu amor.”

I blinked away my surprise and approached him wearily. “Hi.”

We stared at one another for a long moment before he offered me the mug he held. I gladly accepted with the inclination of my head as a thank you and remained silent.

“I want to father your children,” he said seriously.

Not expecting that confession, I sucked in a breath and almost dropped my coffee.

“Julio…”

“Alandra, I must apologize to you. The other day…it was wrong of me and selfish. What I did was low and I’m ashamed. I would not ever make you choose between my family and a potential one of your own. I will do whatever you need me to do to gain the family you so deserve.”

I bit my bottom lip to keep it from trembling but I was no match for the onslaught of tears that rolled down my cheeks. I set the mug down and stepped closer to wrap my arms around my best friend’s shoulders. I let my body wretch with a sob as he held me tightly. He cooed softly in Portuguese and stroked my hair gently, willing my tears away.

I took a step back and held him at arm’s length. “I’ll give your cousin the job, only because I’m desperate and I know that if he’s anything like you, he’ll do his best. I’m sorry I was so stubborn about it the other day. It was just terrible timing all around. I should have done it sooner but you know me…”

“If you were a stallion, the best trainer would not be able to break you.” He smiled and kissed my forehead.

I gave a watery laugh. “You know me so well.”

His smile suddenly dropped and he resembled the man in my office a few days ago. He became solemn and reclusive. “I am so sorry, meu amor, about what happened the other day.”

I palmed his cheek and caressed his stubbled skin with my thumb. “Apology accepted.”

“Let’s not ever fight like that again, yes?” 

I nodded and pulled him into another embrace. “Don’t ever become that person again. I didn’t like him very much.”

“I did not like him either. I promise I will never become him.”

“Good,” I sniffled and quickly reached for a paper towel to clean up myself. I probably looked absolutely ridiculous. “So, tell me about this cousin of yours and what I can expect from him as an employee.”

Julio unveiled his thousand watt smile and began to tell me about his very talented little cousin whom he was convinced would be the best thing to ever happen to my company.