“Before you became pregnant, was there a ritual you two followed? With my daughter, my husband and I tried moving our bed to different corners of the room.” The host chuckled along with the audience.

“Umm, Julio and I just went out to dinner. We always go to dinner so I guess that was our pre-conception ritual.”

We left Julio’s house approximately forty-five minutes later. Julio decided to drive and I let Mateus sit in the front with his cousin, if for no other reason than to keep him from burning a hole in the back of my head. I tried to keep a steady stream of conversation flowing with Julio so I wouldn’t be caught in a sole discussion with Mateus. We made it into the city and chose a Chinese bistro that Julio and I had been to a handful of times. The ambiance was nice, the food was to die for, and the locale was secluded enough that the paparazzi wouldn’t bother Julio too much. But just in case, the staff was nice enough to place us in a private booth with a silk curtain for seclusion, if we so needed.

I slid in first, not expecting Mateus to follow. Julio sat across from both of us and grinned meaningfully. “My two favorite people in one place. I am a happy man.”

I rolled my eyes as I reached for one of three menus in the center of the linen-covered table. As I scanned the menu, the two men began speaking in Portuguese, prompting me to lower the menu and glare at them both.

Mateus caught my gaze and smiled sheepishly. He understood my expression: speak English.

As Julio began to reply to whatever Mateus had said, he stopped abruptly and reached for his vibrating phone, groaning at the name of the incoming caller. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

Continuing to watch me, Mateus chuckled and shook his head apologetically. “I am sorry, Alandra. It is difficult to speak English when I am around family. I said this is a nice place and wondered if you come here often. He said sometimes and was about to tell me what you liked.”

I’d forgotten that my mouth was set in a harsh line and my eyebrows creased in thought. I let my face relax and scanned the menu again, even though I knew I was going to get.

“We’ve been here a few times. I love sushi so I drag Julio with me every chance I get. He doesn’t mind the raw fish part but he goes gaga over the sticky rice and the potstickers.”

He licked his lips slowly and inched closer to glance at my open menu. “Do you recommend anything?”

Yeah, I thought. I recommend that you not come any closer.

“Well, I usually order the California rolls, but again, I’m a sushi fan. This of course is more Americanized. Have you ever had sushi?”

“Not that I can remember. Brazil is not known for its sushi.” He gave me a boyish grin. “I will try your California roll.”

Proudly, I closed the menu and placed it back in the center of the table. “Excellent choice.” I smiled my approval. “I hope you like it. Sushi really isn’t for everyone.”

“I trust you.” The grin had softened considerably and his bedroom voice was back in full effect.

His piercing gaze stripped me bare. I’d never been looked upon with such intensity and, at the same time, such tenderness. I should have been annoyed, offended, outraged even. But the quiet magnetism behind his pale eyes only made me curious. I wanted to know why he looked at me so intimately. More importantly, I wanted to know what the culmination of these looks would bring if I inquired about them.

“May I start you off with an appetizer?”

I looked up to see a girl no more than eighteen smiling down upon us.

I straightened my back and put space between me and Mateus. “I’ll have a bottle of California Cabernet Sauvignon,” I said quickly.

If anyone had been keeping count, that was cowardice move number two of the day. I was going to drink lots of wine until I forgot about the budding attraction for a man young enough to make me feel like a cougar on the prowl.

When Julio returned from his phone call, I was happily on my second glass of wine.

“Who was that?” I smiled lazily at him and swirled the contents of my glass before gulping it down.

Julio quirked an eyebrow but didn’t question my drinking habits. “My agent, Elise. You remember Roberta, my old publicists?”

“The publicist who’d been doing media damage control after proceeding to anonymously leak information to the tabloids about you? Yeah, I remember that hag.” I sneered and began to pour myself another glass of Sauvignon. “She’s the reason people even know my name. I could choke her for putting my personal business out there like that.”

“Yes, well, she is now trying to write a tell-all book.”

“Can she do that?” I asked, stunned.

He nodded gravely. “She can. However she has to get my approval for facts about my own life. Of course, she is not going to get it.”

“That puts a wrench in her plans for world domination, I suppose? Well, let’s toast to that.” I lifted my glass, not waiting for Julio or Mateus and toasted alone.

This brought a small smile to Julio’s face that he couldn’t sustain for long. “Unfortunately, meu amor, she still has grounds to write this book with or without my permission so long as my name is not in it. She can make accusations and sell them to the papers, however. What Elise wants me to do is lay low.”

Matues, who had remained silent, finally spoke up. “What does this mean, primo?”

“It means that I am advised to take an extended vacation from work. The studio has approved it since I have already tapped a full season of the show. Elise has—”

“So, basically what you’re saying is that woman is running you out of town and Elise is letting it happen.” I said matter-of-factly. “For how long?”

Ever since I’d met Elise two years ago, I hadn’t liked her much. In my opinion, she didn’t have Julio’s best interest at heart. She was only out for herself and the nice pay check Julio supplied for her. He wasn’t the best judge of character but I had to let the guy make his own mistakes. It was just a shame he continued making the same ones over and over again.

“It’ll only be for a month, maybe two.”

My eyes went wide. “Two months? What about our plans? And what about family and all that? You have responsibilities here that you just can’t—”

“Do you think I want to leave?” His voice raised an octave, causing me to sit back in my chair. “I do not want to leave, meu amor. I do not want to run from this, but what choice do I have? I cannot put the ones I love through this media circus, especially with Mateus here.”

I looked to my left where Mateus sat focusing directly on Julio. They peered at one another through long dark lashes, having a full conversation without words.

“Will you be alright without me?”

My head snapped up to stare at Julio.

“I can manage primo.”

I turned to Matues again. It seemed I had no say in the matter of my best friend leaving his sex pistol of a cousin here. “You can’t be serious. You’re just going to up and leave him here?”

Julio reached across the table to touch my hand, rubbing the back of it. “Matues is a man. He can take care of himself.” He kept his eyes on Mateus while he spoke, and then suddenly turned to me. “Besides, there is no one I trust more to see that he has a good time during his visit.”

I opened my mouth to protest but was interrupted by the waitress who began to take our orders. I wasn’t going to give up that easily.

****

A week later, I was still convinced that there had to be another way for us all to get what we wanted while Julio kept a low profile. Unfortunately, the flow of ideas came too little too late because as I sat in my comfy office chair, Julio was flying over the ocean to some secluded resort in the Caribbean.

However, before he’d left, he’d made an appointment with the clinic I was using for my insemination procedure. He’d shown up as soon as the place had opened and done the do. I remember vividly because he’d called me that morning with the surprising news and had tried to give me a rundown of everything that had happened. I’d deemed it a private matter between him, the doctor, and the cup holding his little swimmers. I was just happy that all that was needed was my egg and I’d be headed down maternity highway. Problem was, I was much too busy to get an appointment that suited my schedule this week. I had proposals and presentations out the yin-yang and couldn’t seem to find a free moment for myself.

I sighed as I tried to concentrate on the blank Word document I had open. The cursor was blinking at me, almost mockingly. My fingers tapped a cadence on the edge my desk as if the rhythm would help the ideas flow from me. I mentally urged myself to type this proposal for the client of an up and coming luxury resort, but my subconscious was focused on the man sitting outside my door. I could have kicked myself for putting it off until now because it was obvious that I wasn’t going to be getting anything done in the realm of actual work today.

Unable to withstand it any longer, I pushed from my chair and began to pace. I put a finger to my lips as I thought of possible slogans that would help me construct the proposal.

“At Wellesley’s Resort and Spa…” I lifted my hands out in front of me as if to scribe a message in the air. “We make your every dream come true!” I smiled briefly then groaned. “What is this, Disney World? C’mon, Alandra, think.” I used my index fingers to massage both sides of my temple as I continued speaking aloud to myself. “Wellesley’s Resort and Spa, where fantasies become a reality. No, where…reality and fantasy align. My God, that’s so mediocre. We might as well just tell the customer to watch the paint peel.” I took a breath and tried again. “Wellesley’s Resort and Spa…where Kirk and Spock fight for interstellar dominance.” I paused and considered the ridiculous idea of having two intergalactic fictitious characters fighting over a room in a Wellesley suite.

I chuckled sadly to myself and shook my head.

I was beginning to wonder how I had ever become successful in this business with juvenile ideas like that. I needed a break. I just wasn’t functioning properly in this stuffy office. Fresh air would do me some good, I thought. A five minute break was all I needed.

Pulling my office door open, I stepped out into the lobby. Mateus sat typing away. Most likely editing something of mine or corresponding with a client to set up a meeting. He was assimilating well into the daily routine of the office and I had to admire how smoothly the past few work days had gone with him around.     

I paused for another moment as I watched him. It was unusual that he hadn’t looked up yet. It was around this time that his eyes would meet mine and I would pretend coy and look away.

“Mateus.” I tried getting his attention, he remained unresponsive.

My eyes narrowed. Have I done something to offend him? I wondered, moving closer and calling his name again. He was unmoved and I began to seethe. This was my place of business. I was the boss here and anyone working under me was damn well going to show me some respect.

As I began to reach out to tap him on the shoulder, I noticed the black buds secured in his ear and the thin cords dangling from them. I chuckled to myself at how ridiculous the idea of Mateus ignoring me sounded. He wasn’t disregarding me, he was listening to music. In my haste, I had overlooked the subtle bobbing of his head to the beat he was so caught in and the silver iPod sitting pretty on his desk.

“Mateus,” I sang and tapped him simultaneously.

Startled, he pulled the buds from his ears and turned those mesmerizing eyes on me. “Yes, Alandra? I apologize, I did not hear you. What do you need?”

I needed a nice cold shower, that’s what I needed.

I bit my lip and tried to stall, as I’d forgotten why I’d even attempted to get his attention in the first place.

“What are you listening to?” Changing the subject was usually a viable distraction.

He glanced down at his iPod briefly and then back up at me, smiling wide. “Boyz II Men.”

“Boyz II Men?” My neck snapped back in disbelief. “What do you know about them?”

“Alandra, I am twenty-seven, not eighty-two. Why would I not know a great group like Boyz II Men?”

He picked up the small device and handed it to me. Glancing at the screen, I gave a half laugh. Sure enough, it was Boyz II Men’s hit I’ll Make Love To You.

Mateus continued to surprise me with each passing day.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” I waved him away and handed the iPod back. “It’s just…I didn’t know the Boyz had made it all the way to South America. Maybe that’s just the ignorant American in me talking.”

He let out an airy chuckle. “They never officially made it to Brazil but I had a friend who introduced R&B to me. I love how sultry and sexy it sounds. It crescendos slowly, building and building. Then, when you least expect it, you are brought down only to be taken to the peek again. It is very thrilling.”

If I didn’t know any better I’d have said he was no longer referring to music. I cleared my throat and tried to smile, though an undeniable heaviness had settled at the pit of my stomach and was making its way to the apex between my legs.

“You make it sound very thrilling. It’s only music, Mateus”

He shook his head. “No, it is much more than that. Here, listen.” He held up a bud for me to take, the music flowing softly through.

The song had changed, the beat pulsing but the tempo slow. I didn’t recognize the song or understand the lyrics as they were in Portuguese. I’d never heard anything other than American R&B and to hear this brought a smile to my lips. The singer, a female, crooned in my ear as if whispering sweet nothings to a lover.

“Who is that?” I asked, ejecting the bud from my ear.

“My sister, Clara. She is quite popular back home.”

“She has a beautiful voice.”

He smiled graciously, his jade eyes twinkling. “I will pass on the compliment. We are all very proud of her.”

“How did she manage to fall into R&B? With a voice like that…she could do any genre.”

“After it was introduced to me, I introduced it to her. She fell in love with it and the rest, as they say, is história.”

I chuckled softly and nodded. “That is what they say.” I shifted my stance, not realizing I had moved closer than I had anticipated. The subtle scent of his cologne wafted into my senses, causing me to blink away inappropriate thoughts of a bare chested Matues spraying the fragrance on himself.

“So, have you had lunch yet?” I winced at how quickly the question had fallen from my mouth. It was obvious that I was trying to fill the silence that had engulfed us.

“I have not,” he said with expectation in his gaze.

“Would you like to come with me? I was just headed out to take a break and possibly get something to eat.”

He beamed, sweeping his sandy hair from his face. “I would like that very much.”

****

I’d let Mateus choose a small delicatessen I’d never been to for lunch. We’d taken our sandwiches outside onto the patio area where tables and chairs were situated so patrons could enjoy the warm California weather. It was overcast today and not too hot, which I was thankful for.  

I covered my mouth as laughter overtook my body. Mateus was telling stories of Julio’s visits home and some of the mishaps that had occurred. Apparently, on his last trip to Brazil six months ago, he’d been in a skydiving accident, at least that’s what he’d told me and the rest of the world when he’d come off his private jet in an arm cast and sling. Turns out, he had actually tripped over a stool in his mother’s kitchen.

I was going to have to tease Julio about that one later. It was always good to have some dirt on him. Things like that would help keep him grounded and humble.

“I swear, he just spins these wild stories and everyone believes them.” I shook my head as my laughter subsided.

“He was very embarrassed. We all teased him about it; my sister and I, my mother, even his own.”

“I’d be reluctant to tell people of what happened too if I broke my own arm in a kitchen not doing anything remotely dangerous.”

Mateus smirked lazily. “He is human. I think sometimes he forgets.”

“It’s not that,” I said, taking the last bite of my sandwich. “He just likes to keep his private life and public life separate.”

Since I’d known Julio, I’d always admired the fact that he had different personas when it came to different people in his life. There was the showboat, thesbian Julio, who never let anyone see a shred of weakness in him. This person was always willing to amp it up for a crowd of adoring fans; the gorgeous actor that every man wanted to be and every woman wanted to be with. Then there was the real Julio, the guy I knew best; the one who wore his emotions on his sleeve and cried at all of Nicholas Spark’s books and film adaptations. This Julio, I respected his take on family and how important they were to him.

At times, I was even envious, realizing the bond I shared with my own family left everything to be desired. Remembering the conversation I’d had with my mother the other day left me suddenly feeling raw and exposed.

I snapped back from my thoughts when I heard Mateus’ accented, bedroom voice call out to me and felt his hand resting atop of mine. I gazed briefly at our conjoined hands, then at his lips that looked soft and pliable.

“Alandra? Are you all right?” His emerald eyes held curiosity.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.” I forced myself to tear my eyes away as I untangled our hands, and pushed away all thoughts of how kissable his mouth seemed.

“Are you sure?” He asked with a hint of amusement as if he’d known exactly what I was thinking about.

I only nodded and tried to pick up the conversation where I’d left off. “If you live here long enough you eventually end up acquiring another persona; one public and the other private. It’s a special individual who can control them both.”

“And who are you outside of your public persona?” He scooted closer, waiting for an answer.

I opened my mouth, ready to reply, but found that I didn’t have an answer. I hadn’t really thought about it. I was just…me — daughter to an absent, selfish mother, friend to a popular actor, and boss to a team of kick-ass business associates; one of whom had a mouth at which I couldn’t stop staring.

Idly glancing at my cell phone, I recalled the time and gasped when I found that we had been out longer than I’d expected. The time had flown by and I hadn’t even noticed.

“We need to get back to the office. I still have work.” I stood and brushed away crumbs from my skirt.

“I am sorry if I took up too much of your time.”

 “No, you didn’t,” I reassured him as we threw away our trash and headed toward the exit. “I like talking to you.”

With a faint smile playing on his lips, he opened the driver’s side door for me once we’d made it to the car. “I also enjoy talking with you.”

We stayed quiet on the drive back. I’d come to find that words were rarely needed when we were together. I found that I liked our comfortable silent moments; they always gave me time to think about the man seated next to me.

Fifteen minutes later, we were back in the office and at our respective desks. Even though I had taken a longer break than I’d wanted, I now felt like I could conquer this proposal; make it my proverbial bitch, if you will. I clapped my hands together and began to type away.

A knock at the door a while later pulled me back to reality. I wasn’t sure how long I had been in the zone but when I came to, I had a full page typed out.

Smiling from ear-to-ear, I instructed the person to come in.

Mateus poked his head in sheepishly. “Excuse me, Alandra but there is a call for you.”

“Who is it?”

“It is a woman, she will not say who she is but she says it is important.”

“Probably Helen Wellesley, wondering how the proposal is going,” I mumbled and gave Mateus a hopeful smile. “I’ll pick it up.”

“Are you sure? I can have her call back if you are busy.”

The consideration he displayed always touched me, and turned my insides into mush. “Yeah, it’s no problem. Thank you.”

Still grinning, I picked up the phone and pressed the appropriate line. “Alandra Meyer.”

“Well, don’t you sound all high and mighty.”

The feeling of accomplishment suddenly turned to stone-cold anger at the sound of my mother’s voice. She always had a knack for bringing me down.

“How the hell did you get this number?” I growled.

“Who was that that answered the phone?” She asked, disregarding my initial question. “He sounded yummy. Is he a mail-order…secretary?” She cackled at her own joke, while my anger grew ten-fold at the mention of Mateus.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Don’t speak to your mother that way, Alandra. Lord only knows where you got such a mouth.”

“You’re no mother. A manipulative con-artist, yes; a mother, hell no.”

Her sugary sweet voice suddenly turned as emotionless as mine. “You always were unkind, even as a child. It’s a wonder why I try to keep in touch with you at all. You’re ungrateful.”

“It would make no never mind to me, mommy dearest, if you simply stopped trying. As a matter of fact, I encourage it.”

“I know you don’t mean that.” Her pretend sweet and concerned mother routine was back in full force. “I’m just trying to make amends, which is why you’ll be happy to know that I’m in Phoenix.”

I stood from my chair because the constricting feel of material made my skin crawl. “How the hell did you end up in Phoenix? You know what? I don’t care. I don’t want to see you. I want you to stay as far away from me as possible. If you call me again, I swear I’ll take out a restraining order against you.”

I slammed the phone down on the receiver and pinched the bridge of my nose. My mind was heavy again and I knew I wouldn’t get anything done today. I brought a hand to my chest to calm the beating of my heart but nothing could stop the tears that began to well up in my eyes.

She was too close for comfort. I didn’t want her here. I didn’t want her tainting the strides I had made in my life with her poison.

I needed Julio. He could calm me down and reassure me that Loretta wasn’t going to take what was mine. I pressed his number on my cell phone as I swiped at angry tears that cascaded down my cheeks.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang but he never answered.

I’m alone, I thought as I placed my cell back on the surface of my desk. I’d been left alone to face my biggest demon and the one time I needed Julio, he wasn’t there. The realization brought about more tears.

“Alandra?”

I turned abruptly at the sound of Mateus’ voice, as I wiped embarrassingly at fresh tears. I cleared my throat and threw up the wall of professionalism.

“I was just about to call you in to discuss the meeting I had set for next week.”

He continued to watch me from the doorway, saying nothing. He pushed the door closed behind him, never taking his eyes away, as he moved closer. The need to escape flashed briefly but disappeared once he was in my personal space. Silently, he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his stubbled chin on the top of my head.

Stunned and embarrassed, I stiffened. He must have heard my shouting match, I thought as he continued to hold me in place.

Blood pumped wildly to my head, causing me to sway a bit. The intoxicating scent of his cologne was overpowering, as my face was settled in the exact spot he had sprayed. I closed my eyes briefly and hesitantly let my arms wrap around the solid muscles of his back.

I never let anyone see me like this, except for Julio. But with his absence, his cousin seemed to be the only other likely candidate.

“I am so sorry,” he whispered into my hair. “I never should have—”

“You didn’t know,” I said as I stepped back and held him at arm’s length.

He shook his head to dismiss my comfort. “I will do a better job of keeping that person from hurting you. I promise.”

Genuinely affected by his second display of concern of the day, I reached up and cupped his cheek. When his eyes locked on mine, something passed through me.

Julio and I had been in a similar position before but this time, it felt different being held and holding as we did. The sudden urge to kiss him struck me. Let it happen, my inner thoughts whispered. Those lips were so close and inviting and his piney, masculine smell was doing things to my insides.

It would have been so easy to let him take me but I knew I couldn’t. Not when I was feeling so drained and empty.

I stepped away fully and wiped at the last of my tears. “I appreciate that. I need a minute to myself, if you don’t mind.”

He paused for another moment, his expression unreadable, before he nodded and made his way out.

How easy it would have been to let myself get lost in him, I thought once I was alone again. Mateus was dangerous; a beautifully handsome kind of dynamite that I couldn’t help but to ignite. I knew, soon, there would be an explosion between us. I had resided myself to that fact only a minute ago. I didn’t know where or when but I did know that it would be like the Fourth of July.