What do you have to do to get a decent espresso in here?

Charlene greeted her relief, her smile too tight, like taffy pulled too thin. She ignored the brief look of concern from her assistant as she walked past him towards the doors of her laboratory and into the corridor. The hall was filled with too much light and sound as crewmembers dashed to and fro, reporting to and newly freed from their shifts. Charlene took a deep breath, raised her chin and joined the fray. She was no moonflower, frightened of exposing her flesh to the light, wearing the night like a veil.

“Good evening, Charlene.”

“Hello, Lieutenant.”

“Got dinner plans, Charlene?”

Charlene answered in nods and grunts as she made her way to the safety of the turbolifts.

They all know, she thought to herself. They all know and they feel sorry for me. I don’t need their fucking pity.

She winced at the bitter paranoia of her own thoughts. Only Uhura and Christine knew about the incident and her relationship. They had been careful to be discrete; it started and ended in secrecy. However, she still felt raw.

Charlene sighed as she stepped into the deserted turbolift. She turned and pressed her back to the cool metal of the walls and looked out onto the world she was leaving behind.

“Deck 5,” she ordered the computer, thankful that the ride to her quarters would be unobserved.

A broad fingered hand suddenly impeded the progress of the closing doors. Charlene’s breath caught as the doors drew back to reveal Lt.-Cmdr. Scott. Charlene allowed her eyes to drift over his person, noting the unruly cowlick at the crown of his head, the deep crinkles at the corners of his eyes and the grin that parted his thin lips wide revealing coffee stained teeth. She felt something tighten in her core as she followed the path of his adoring gaze to the woman on his bent arm.

“After you, Mira,” Scotty said as he swept his right arm gallantly into the open space of the lift.

The woman smiled up at Scotty, her ice blue eyes somehow warm before she stepped onto the lift.

“Charlene,” Scotty said, his bright smile faltering momentarily as he finally took notice of her. “Hello.”

“Good evening, Lieutenant Commander.”

Scotty’s lips pursed at her formal reply before his attention was drawn away by his companions gentle tug on his arm.

“Aye, right. Lieutenant Masters, may I present Lieutenant Mira Romaine. She’ll be joining us for the next two months on her way to her first assignment on Memory Alpha.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, Lieutenant,” Mira greeted.

Charlene grasped the woman’s hand and was treated to a limp handshake. Afterwards, she resisted the urge to wipe her palm on her uniform skirt. There was something about this woman that made Charlene’s teeth itch.

“Welcome aboard, Lieutenant,” she managed.

“I look forward to working with you, Charlene,” Mira continued. “I’ve heard so much about you from Scotty.”

The sting of Mira’s casual address was soothed by her use of Mr. Scott’s more common nickname. Whoever this woman was to him, he was not “Monty” to her. Charlene’s posture straightened at the brief vindication, however unwarranted. She had been the one to let him go, after all.

The rest of the short turbolift ride passed in relative silence as Charlene endured the adoring looks and affectionate touches Scotty showered on his companion; looks and touches that had once been reserved for her alone. Anger bloomed in her chest. They had only ended things a week ago and he had already moved on. When the lift finally stopped on Deck 5, Charlene hurried off, not bothering to return Mira’s mumbled farewell. She was thankful to make the twenty-meter walk to her quarters unobserved. Deck 5 was primarily composed of quarters and thus normally deserted during the transition from Alpha to Beta shift when the residents were ensconced in the mess hall and their duty stations.

Charlene slipped into her quarters and went to the head to splash some water on her face.

“You will not cry, girl,” Charlene told her reflection. “He isn’t worth anymore of your tears.”

She quickly stripped out of her uniform, leaving her dress and boots strewn over the bathroom floor. She stepped into her shower and switched it to the water setting, ordering the computer to make the water as hot as she could stand it. After a few minutes, she stepped out and harshly scrubbed her body, face and hair with a towel before changing into some casual attire. Her belly rumbled traitorously. She ignored her hunger. She could face the crew during her shift, brave the busy halls and run her lab. But she did not think she was strong enough to brave the Senior Officer’s Mess. Not while he was there…with her.

Charlene ordered up a chocolate chip muffin and a kettle of hot water from the replicator. She took the hot water to her kitchenette and pulled out a fresh bag of coffee beans. She carefully weighed out a few ounces of beans before depositing them into her well-used grinder. Soon the familiar sound of pulverizing coffee beans reached her ears. Charlene shut her eyes as she breathed in the comforting scent of fresh ground coffee. She poured the coffee into her French press followed by eight ounces of steaming water from her kettle. As she moved to clean the grinder, a scrap of red paper caught her eye. She pulled the paper out from beneath the grinder to find an old fashioned Valentine.

“Happy Valentine’s Day to the most beautiful geophysicist in the Fleet. Perhaps now you won’t need my scotch to make your coffee drinkable, but my flask will always be available should you need a little something extra. XOXO Monty.”

Charlene’s vision blurred as the tears she had denied for weeks broke free. Charlene quickly dashed them away as she tossed the Valentine and French press into the recycler.

She wouldn’t do this to herself—punish herself for looking out for her own interests for once. She had tried. She really had. She forgave Scotty when he came crying and begging for forgiveness after manhandling her. She knew that he had not been in his right mind, that the trauma from the accident caused him deep emotional distress. She waited patiently as he went through counseling and therapy. She even sought counseling herself. Then he had agreed to McCoy’s cockamamie treatment of a medical shore leave on Argelius II, as if some half-dressed dancing girls and a good shag would fix everything. Charlene had asked Scotty not to go, but he claimed that it was doctor’s orders. Granted, he did not ask to be framed for three murders by a malevolent energy creature, but the trial and resulting attack on the ship had been too much for Charlene to bear.

The door chime to her quarters sounded. Charlene took a moment to compose herself before bidding the person to enter. Her assistant Larry Riddle stepped into the room, his dark eyes wide with concern.

“I hope you don’t mind me dropping by like this,” he began. “But, you seemed a bit out of sorts today in the lab and I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

Charlene smiled weekly. “I’m fine, Larry. Its nothing that a little bit of time won’t fix.”

Larry looked down at his boots. “I saw him in the hall with her. If you don’t mind me saying, Mr. Scott is a damn fool. I just wanted you to know that if you need anything…”

Charlene looked up in surprise. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Its ok, Charlene. Its not like everyone knows. I don’t miss much, is all. At least not when it comes to you.”

“Larry,” Charlene sighed. “We’ve talked about this before.”

“I know. I’m just here as a friend. That is, if you want me to be.”

Charlene regarded her assistant, who stood before her with pink cheeks and a hopeful expression. Riddle had always been a good colleague and a friend even after she turned down his offer to become something more.

“Ok,” she finally replied. “I could use a friend.”

Larry smiled and shook his head before offering his arm. Charlene looked at it askance.

“You worked straight through lunch today. I figured you could use a bite to eat.”

“Larry, I don’t know if I feel up to it.”

“I thought we’d grab something at the Junior Officer’s mess on Deck 22. That is, if you are willing to slum it with us underlings for a night. Tonight is burger and milkshake night. Good ‘ol greasy American 20th century fare.”

Charlene bit her lip. “Do you think they’ll have chocolate shakes?”

Larry’s smile widened. “It would be criminal if they didn’t.”

“Then lead the way, Mr. Riddle,” Charlene said as she took his offered arm.

~Fin~