"Look here, I need someone to stay with her while I'm in the hospital." Nikko spoke loudly over the phone as he moseyed pass Maple and Crenshaw. Ignoring the hustle and bustle of the city around him, he moseyed by the glaring pedestrians. "I swear to God, if you're not on the next plane; I will hop on a plane and kick your ass my own damn self!"

Nikko listened to her half-assed excuses and reproached Felicia through the phone's receiver. He pulled a cigarette from his breast pocket fully intending to curb the anxiety that had climbed its way up from the pit of his stomach until it was clawing at the recesses of his mouth. He swallowed hard attempting to push the anxiety back down were it belonged.

Nikko was going to therapy; he wasn't too happy about it but George refused to move back in until he did. He cringed at the thought.

He listened to Felicia as she tried to refute his claim and come up with excuses as to why her narrow ass wasn't on a plane to New York like she promised. He'd have to open up a can of whoop ass and when Nikko whooped ass, he whooped ass. She tried to argue back but Nikko wasn't having that; he set her straight right there with four words.

"Your sister needs you." Then Nikko hung up. He flicked the bud of his cigarette away and ran a nervous hand through his hair; he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He stopped in front of a large brick building that looked like a remodeled apartment minus the intercom.

He took in his surroundings--the leering camera which was mounted to the essential brick. He closed his eyes attempting to pull himself together. Nikko moved through the glass doors 'Just breathe' he kept telling himself that it was worth it to get George back. 'This shit better be worth it.'

It had to be.

~~~~~

'Oh shit.' Bea's chocolate eyes bore into the empty drawer as if a snake was about to pop out any moment and bite the hell out of her. Her eyes gravitated to the closet looking over the barren space Lucas had made for her next to his things. 'Oh, shit this is bad.' She pinched herself once, twice, three times to make sure she wasn't going off her rocker, 'So much for a hallucination'.  She ran nervous hands down her thighs attempting to rid herself of sweaty palms. Nikko was laughing his ass off wherever he was; he had to be because she couldn't find a damn thing funny.

Lucas gave Bea a dresser drawer and some closet space. He even went as far as to give her a place for her toothbrush and she was freaking out. Laugh all you want but to her a drawer was serious. Her breathing sped up and her eyes became unfocused--shit she was having a panic attack. She backed away from the offending space and slipped on one of his shirts. On bare feet, she padded down the hall into the living room, collecting the clothes they'd hurriedly pulled off each other, while in the throes of uninhibited passion. Bea bit her lip as images of the previous night assaulted her already sensitized nerves.

He had to fuck up the afterglow with his proclamation. Lucas giving her space in his place scared her out of her mind. She was extremely close to running. She wanted to convince herself that everything she and Lucas had was a cruel joke but her common sense that wouldn't let her thoughts transform. 'Why go through all this if he wasn't serious?'

She still had an hour before he came back from the gym. She had to get out before the walls swallowed her whole. On rushed legs she ran back to the bedroom and threw on a pair of Lucas' shorts, she pulled at the drawstring until she felt a sting at her waist. She clutched her car keys in her hand, so tight they cut into the palm of her hand.

Propelled by a sudden burst of energy she ran. Her heartbeat thumped angrily at her chest; her eyes were unfocused and she could feel sweat run down the curve of her back. However, all she could see were the walls closing in on her. Her bottom lip was bleeding from the pressure of her teeth against the thin skin.

She had to get out, now. She omitted the elevator all together and opted for the stairs. Bea clutched the railing so tight the nails on her middle, index, and ring fingers broke. She could hear her own breathing; feel her pulse in her ears muting out the outside world.

She made it to ground level; the door attendant looked at her strangely. He must have been talking to her but all she saw were his lips moving. His hands fell to her shoulders and he sat her down on the dark plush couch in the lobby. She watched him move to the desk and grab the phone. He must have gotten through to whomever he called because his lips moved fast. He kept shooting nervous glances in her direction. However, Bea didn't care all she wanted was to get out. She stood on fawn like legs and made it out the rotating doors.

~~~~

She only made it home by the grace of God. Anything after that reminded her of a Jackson Pollack meshed to the inside of her skull. She tore off the clothes she'd been wearing and ran to her shower, turning on the hot water. A soft whimper left her lips once she realized what she was doing. She bit back a hollow sob. She hadn't had a panic attack in a long time. She thought she'd stopped this her junior year in high school.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been in her bathroom or in the shower for that matter but the sun was setting. On top of that, she was hungry, extremely hungry. She moved through her living room and stopped short when she heard her answering machine beep. She reached out and pushed the large play button Lucas' concerned voice filled the room.

Message 1

'Baby, Norman called are you all right?' His voice was heavy with concern and she could feel a strange ache in her chest.

Message 2

'Bea? Baby, please pick up.' The husky timbre of his voice caressed her bones sending a shiver down her spine. It filled the room and gave her comfort s if he was there with her, loving her.

Message 3

'You're really starting to worry me, sweetheart. Please, pick up just so I know you're ok.' He sounded desperate and she felt like a harpy for worrying him like this.

Message 4

'Dammit baby, answer the phone.' She could hear the sound of trffic in the background and knew he must have been on his way over.

Message 5

'Are you there it's me, Julia. How are you? I'm good. Funny story--actually remember when you told me your door was always open? Well, I'm about to board a plane to New York. Umm, I guess I'll just see you when I get there.' Her movements stalled at the sound of her sister's soft melodic voice. She could hear the sound of a baby cooing in the background and nearly cried. 

~~~

"Are you going to eat that? He wants me to go to therapy," After spearing a sausage from Bea's untouched plate with a nod of her head. Nikko observed his best friend. She'd been quiet since he arrived and cooked breakfast. She'd barely touched her breakfast and she was staring intensely out the window. Nikko gushed on about his first therapy session attempting to fill the pregnant silence between them. "Me, can you believe that?"

Nikko scrunched up his face as if it was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. Bea stared hard at him, green orbs clashed with brown orbs, and an unspoken connection was made. 'That fucking Julia!'

"That's good; you have some things you need to work at." Pulling her eyes away from his, she blew on the hot contents of her mug. Bringing the mug to her lips, she drank the hot contents which slightly burned her throat. "I mean you do want help right?"

"I want George." Nikko deadpanned and Bea felt the strangest need to beat him with her slipper. She looked at him for a while. Then looked back out the window and tried to figure out her own musings but all she could think about was Julia. "I'm doing this to get us back on track."

"That's not what I asked." His eyes bore right back into her eyes. "I don't need therapy. I'm not a nutcase. Shit, that didn't come out right!" Nikko ran a stressed hand through his hair and scrambled his brain for the right words but none came to mind.

"Nutcase, I'll let that remark slide with no problem but you are looking at this with the wrong mind set. You go in claiming you don't need help, you won't get help. You can't go in just for George's state of mind. You have to do it for yourself or you won't be able to say 'I did it and I am a changed person for me' and not because youfre convinced it's the only way you can get George back."

"But-"

"Therapy is give and take. You can't expect it to be effective if you aren't going to be open. It can only be helpful if you're working with your doctor. Nikko, I love you even if you are four different kinds of crazy. But promise me you'll do this for yourself."

"Fine, I promise." He finally relented but it didn't feel sincere to her but she just shrugged it off knowing Nikko.

"No, if you really plan on going back do it for yourself not for him."

"Bea?"

"You can spend all the time you want doing what you think will make him happy, but understand this only you can make yourself happy."

"Nikko you can't go through your whole life running and assuming that George is going to break your heart."

"Look who's talking. You're just as afraid as I am only I'll admit it."