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Chapter 18
Seth
Two months later
She called! She called! I can’t believe Brianna called me! It was so good to hear her voice. It was as sweet and sexy as ever and it still made me feel like my heart was beating 1000 times a minute.
I know I sound a little bitch-like, but fuck that! I missed her and I still loved her, so if me saying things like that makes you think that I’ve lost all of my swag, then I only have this to say…don’t get it twisted. I’m still me, but I’m less of a dick. Now, I'm more of a loveable asshole, but I’m a better dude…a lot better.
Brianna wanted to have lunch with me on Friday. I couldn’t tell if this was going to be a final kiss off lunch or a let’s try and be friend’s lunch. At this point, I really didn’t give a shit. I haven’t seen her in two years and I couldn’t wait. I knew that this wasn’t going to be the easiest of situations and I knew that I was certainly the cause of said situation, but I hoped that it wouldn’t be too bad.
I walked into my mother’s house after work that Wednesday smiling from ear to ear. She and Jackson looked up from her laptop and grinned.
“Hey, baby boy,” she said.
“Hey, lil bro. What’s up? How you livin’?” Jackson said as he held a container in his hand. It looked like it contained my mother’s double chocolate chip cookies. I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. The scent of onions, peppers and beef wafted through the air, which meant that she cooked her famous pepper steak.
“I’m good and you made double chocolate chip cookies…for Jack? What the hell did he do that was so damn special?” I asked.
“Well, he is the son that’s making my grandma rainbow dreams come true,” my mother said with a grin.
“Yeah…I’m her favorite now. How you love that?” Jackson asked with a smile.
“You’re a prick Jackson. That’s not fair, mama. All he did was bang his wife and knock her up. I could get someone and give them a few of my swimmers. If I did that, would you make me some cookies?” I asked as she laughed.
“Nice try baby, but no dice. I really made the cookies for the one who’s doing all the work… for Davia and my little munchkin. She’s been craving chocolate,” my mother replied.
“Really craving it,” Jackson replied as his phone rang. He flipped it open and answered. ‘Hello. Hey sweetness. Yeah, I’m on my way now. You want me to stop and get pineapples, strawberries and a double cheeseburger with bacon and extra pickles…and cookies and cream ice cream…with a dozen of glazed donuts? But Dav, I’ve got double chocolate chip cookies from mama. Do you still want donuts? Okay. Yes. Yes, baby. I’ll be home soon baby…yes I’ll have the donuts and everything else. You’d better love me. Bye,” Jackson replied as he sighed then gave a weary smile.
“Looks like someone is wearing you out?” I asked with a grin.
“Yeah and not in that good, freaky, wear your ass out way either,” Jackson whispered as my mother popped him on the arm.
“That hurt, ma!” Jackson replied as I laughed.
“Better you than me,” I replied as Jackson mouthed fuck you to me.
“Look at what my grandbaby looks like, Seth,” my mother replied as she showed me ultrasound pictures with the name Aldridge on them. Jackson was grinning from ear to ear.
“Do you guys know what it is yet?” I asked.
“No. The kid hasn’t cooperated much, but hopefully by next month, we’ll know,” Jackson said as he looked at the pictures with me.
“Isn’t that the sweetest little thing you ever did see?” my mother asked.
“Uh…no. It looks like an alien, like little globs of goop…with eyes,” I replied as Jackson kicked me in the shin.
“Hey, bro…that’s my kid you’re talking about,” Jackson replied.
“And my grandbaby…it’s adorable,” my mother replied.
“It may be adorable in about 4 more months, but right now, it looks like something from the X-files,” I said as I ducked away from the slap that my mother was trying to lay on me.
“Whatever, Seth…you’re just jealous,” Jackson replied.
“Oh yeah, I’m jealous. You’re about to have a tiny enterloper that does nothing but cry, eat, shit, puke, and piss twenty four seven that’s going to take over your entire life. You won’t be able to take a shit in peace. I’ll be able to take naps on the weekend and party all night. Yeah…I’m so jealous,” I said as my mother narrowed her eyes.
“Watch your mouth,” she replied.
“Sorry mama,” I replied.
“Screw you Seth. I’m out of here, you two,” Jackson said as he kissed my mother on the cheek and bid her farewell. He mouthed bye fucker to me and smiled. I told him bye, you little bitch and he left. I then turned my attention back to my mother who was still on her laptop. I leaned over her shoulder to see what she was looking at.
“I’m looking at stuff for the baby. I’m telling you, so much has changed since you guys were babies. They have the cutest little things and so many things to make the mom’s life convenient. I tell you, by the time I’m finished shopping, there won’t be anything left to purchase,” she said with a smile.
I smiled back at her. “You’re really loving this, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Of course I am. I’m going to be a grandmother. My oldest baby is having a baby of his own. You know that I’m in my own little heaven right now,” my mother said as I laughed.
“Yeah, I know. Mama, you made pepper steak, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Yes, Sethie?” she asked as she clicked on the next page on her laptop.
“You know I love your peppersteak mama…with the mushrooms and the bellpeppers and the onions,” I said as my mother turned her head and looked at me.
“I know you love it. It’s one of your favorites,” she replied.
“Well since you know it’s one of my favorites, would you do me a favor and fix me some …please?” I asked giving her my little boy pout. My mother laughed and patted me on the cheek.
“I guess I can’t refuse that, now can I? So, you worked late today, huh?” she asked as she walked into the kitchen and retrieved a bone white plate from the oak cabinets. I sat on the stool near the long counter and watched her walk over to the stove where the pepper steak was held and watched her fix me a plate.
“Yeah. I had a few things that I had to clear up before our quarterly meeting tomorrow, so I stayed and got it done. Pops is bowling tonight, right?” I asked.
My mother finished fixing my plate and she sat it in front of me.
“This looks good, mama. Thank you,” I said as I picked up my fork.
My mother grinned at me and said “You’re welcome, sweetie.” She then proceeded to fix a plate for herself. “Seth, you know that man bowls every Wednesday night. He has for the past 21 years. Why? Did you need him for something?”
“No, I talked to him yesterday. He wanted me to come over Saturday and help him rearrange the garage. I told him I would,” I said as my mother placed a glass of lemonade in front of me.
“He said he was going to rustle you and your brother up to do that. I need room for some of the baby stuff that I ordered, so thank you in advance. Just for being a good son, I’ll make you some brownies…”
“The ones with the chocolate chips and the caramel?” I asked. My mom laughed as she sat next to me on the other stool, her plate and drink in front of her.
“The very ones. Besides, I was making Davia a batch, so I can give you the extras. I'm sorry to say, but I really was making them for Davia and my little mooky moo that she's carrying. I gotta keep my little bun in the oven happy,” my mother said as I nodded. She forked some of her tender pepper steak and placed it in her mouth to chew.
“Wow, ma. Thanks for not treating me like an unwanted stepchild," I replied.
"You're welcome," she said with a grin.
"You know, you're a good mother-in-law. You treat the bun carrier really well. First double chocolate chip cookies, then the caramel chocolate brownies…” I replied.
“Don’t forget I made her some cobbler and fried chicken and potato salad last week. If you had a wife that I absolutely adored that was carrying my grandbaby, she’d be getting the love, too. But, it has to be someone I like and not one of those little hookers for rent that you used to date. You know what I mean?” my mother replied.
I knew what she meant, but I didn’t want to go there with her. I was relishing the taste of the tender, juicy beef and I smiled. “I don't pimp anymore more, so I get it. Umm, this is good mama.”
“Thanks baby,” she replied.
“Guess what ma?” I replied.
“What?” she asked.
“I’m up for the Senior Marketing Executive promotion. I’m going to find out tomorrow at the quarterly meeting whether I got it or not,” I replied with a grin as she smiled and lightly punched me in the shoulder.
“That’s wonderful, Seth! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to jinx it. I wasn’t going to say anything at all, but I got kind of excited. I’ve been working my butt off for the last three years, and finally I get a little recognition. I’m rather proud of myself,” I said with a grin as I continued to eat.
“Well, you should be, honey. I mean, you were truly a complete ass, and now you’re only part ass. I’m proud of you,” she said as she winked at me.
I laughed. “Thanks ma.”
“No problem, darlin’. So, how’s everything else? Are you seeing anyone?” my mother asked.
I smiled. “No one serious. I had a date last week…things didn’t click. I don’t think she was ready for the Seth experience and I really wasn’t feeling her like that, so that was that.”
My mother laughed. “I wonder why…”
“Ma…”
“What? It’s no secret that I know that the only woman for you is Brianna and you’re not going to feel anyone as you put it because she’s the one,” my mother replied as I sighed and continued to eat.
“I know that and you know that, but does she?” I asked.
“I don’t know, baby boy. I mean, you fucked up big time Sethie. Infidelity isn’t something that a woman can easily forgive, but stranger things have happened,” my mother replied as she ate.
“Ma…Brianna called me and she wants to have lunch with me on Friday,” I said nonchalantly.
“Well, that is something. You know, sweetie, you don’t have to act like this isn’t exciting to you. I know you love her. I know you miss her,” my mother said as I grinned.
“Yeah, I do, but the thing is, I’m kind of scared. What if she shoots me or tries to stab me with her fork or something,” I said as my mother laughed as she reached over and ruffled my dark blond hair.
“She would have every right, too, but this is Brianna we’re talking about. She probably just wants to clear the air. I mean those letters were very intense and personal and so not you…I mean the old you. She needs to see if it’s the real you in those letters or an alien. She wants to see you and see if you’re bullshitting or being real. That’s my take on it,” my mother replied.
“Yeah, I figured that,” I replied.
“And whatever she decides in regards to you and her, are you really ready to deal with it?” my mother asked as I sighed.
“I guess I’m going to have to, huh?” I said as my mother shrugged her shoulders.
“Yes…you’re going to have to,” she replied as we continued to eat. I know that she was right. But I didn’t want her to be. I mean, I wanted Brianna back and there was no guarantee that she was even going to let me back into her life as a friend, much less intimately like before.
I guess I would just have to wait and see.
***************************************************************
Brianna
Okay. I can do this. I can do this. I can saunter over to that table and talk to Seth and not be affected by him. I can do it. I can do it.
Then, I see him stand up and he looks good. He looks really good.
And he’s hot.
He’s still hot as hell.
Aw, fuck that. I can’t do it. I can’t.
Oh, my goodness. He’s still fine as hell. He looks like he’s a little broader in the chest and he has on this black suit with a black shirt and a red tie, looking all kinds of deliciously fuckable.
This is not good.
His hair is a little longer and he is still sexy as hell.
How the hell am I going to get through this without jumping on him?
He’s smiling at me and I try to walk a little slower and show him what he missed out on by showcasing what I was wearing. I was wearing a cute, but sexy, pale yellow spaghetti strapped sundress that fit me to a tee and tan heels. I cut my hair to my chin because I wanted a change. Hell, I know I looked good. I gained a few pounds, but the weight went to all the right places, (like my ass and my legs) and I was super toned. He couldn’t keep his eyes off me and he looked at me like he used to…like he could eat me whole.
I didn’t know how I was going to get through this, but I would. Lord, please be with me.
“Hello Brianna. It’s good to see you,” he replied as I walked up to the table.
“Hi Seth. It’s been awhile,” I said as he smiled at me.
“That it has,” he replied. Seth held out my chair for me and when I was seated, he pushed my chair in. The musky scent of his cologne brushed my nostrils and I inhaled deeply. He smelled so good and he looked even better.
Get a grip, Bree. Get a grip.
Seth took a seat across from me with the biggest smile on his face. I smiled slightly not knowing what I should do in this situation. There was silence for a minute before he spoke.
“I can’t believe it’s been two years, Brianna. You look absolutely gorgeous, girl,” he replied as I blushed a little and held a slight smile.
“Thank you. Time has been good to you, too,” I replied as he laughed.
“Thanks. So, I heard that you’ve been choreographing for a lot of artists,” Seth said as I smiled.
“Yes, business is great and I’m happy,” I replied as those gorgeous blue eyes of his seemed to take me in. The waiter came over and took our drink orders and walked away.
“I’m glad to hear that. You look happy. You look incredible, actually,” he said as I looked him in the eye. Oh yeah, I was killing him.
Good, you fine ass bastard. Squirm.
“Thank you again. So, what’s been going on with you?” I asked, really wanting to get to the contents of those letters, but I didn’t want to get into that yet.
“I’ve been working a lot and I just got a promoted to Senior Marketing Executive,” he said as our drinks, along with our waiter arrived at our table. I took my iced tea and sipped it. We gave the waiter our lunch order and after I took another sip of my drink, I spoke.
“Congratulations, Seth. You’ve wanted that for a long time,” I replied.
“Yeah. There’s a lot of things that I want,” he said as his eyes held mine and that’s how it started.
“Seth, I don’t know what you want from me,” I replied.
“Whatever you want to give me. I know what I did to you was dirty and I hurt you, something I never wanted to do and I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I don’t know what to expect out of this. I just don’t want you to hate me,” he replied.
I took a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t hate you, Seth, but you hurt me, and it hurt…a lot. How could you do that to me and with that bitch of all people?”
“She was just there, Brianna and I’m sorry. I truly am,” he said sincerely. I know he was sorry, but he had to know how much I hurt.
“I loved you, Seth. I trusted you. I cried for months after we broke up and when I finally stopped crying, I realized that what we had had to end. It ended badly, but we needed to be apart. You hurt me, but you know what? I got past it. I stopped crying. I stopped hurting. But you really broke my trust. I just don’t trust you, Seth. I just don’t,” I said, finally glad to get that off of my chest.
“Yes, I know. So how do I get that back…your trust?” Seth asked.
“I don’t know if you can. It may take some time. It may never happen. Who knows, Seth,” I replied as he nodded his head.
“I understand. It’s just hard, you know. I mean, I’m sitting across from you and you look so fuckin’ beautiful and all I want to do is touch you, kiss you, tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me, but I can’t and I know that’s my fault. I’m just glad that you don’t hate me. I guess I have to take what I can get. I’ll deal with that,” Seth said and I wanted to slap him to see if he was real. This Seth spoke as if he had sense. What the hell?
“Good, because that’s all I can do right now, Seth. This isn’t easy for me, either. I mean, I had a role to play in what happened to us…,” I began and he stopped me.
“Don’t do that, Bree. I fucked up. I cheated. You didn’t do anything to make me do that. I fucked everything up,” Seth admitted and I was glad to hear that he knew what he did, but at the same time, it wasn’t all him.
“No, you have to listen to me. I can look back and honestly say, I wanted to get married. I may have denied it, but I did. I wanted you to want to marry me. I wanted you to change. I wanted to change you. I knew that I was just talking and I wasn’t listening when you tried to talk to me about why you didn’t want marriage. I just wanted what I wanted and that was my part in what happened. I tried to make you ready for something that you weren’t and that was my bad. But, we needed to grow up and I have. You know what I found out? I don’t need a fancy party or a ring or a man to be happy. I can make my own happiness without all of that. I have been doing that for the last year and I’m not married. So, it wasn’t all you, but you were wrong for what you did. You were,” I said happy that I was finally getting everything out.
“I know that, Brianna and that’s why I’ve been talking to someone…that’s why I wrote you those letters. Because I knew that I had to change…not only for me, but for you. You deserve better and I wanted to be better…for you,” he replied as he reached over and took my hand. I wanted to pull away from him, but I couldn’t. He was actually being sincere and not just bullshitting around like he used to. He had grown up. He had changed.
But, I wasn’t stupid. I still didn’t trust him.
Our lunch entrees arrived and we ate in silence for a few minutes, both thinking about our current situation. I still loved the man. I won’t lie about that. But, I still didn’t trust him. He was going to have to earn my trust back and that wouldn’t be an easy feat.
Then, he said. “What do I have to do, Brianna?”
I looked up at him from my chicken salad and said, “Give me time.”
“I can do that,” he replied.
“Give me a chance to get to know the new Seth,” I replied.
“Okay. Can we go…”
“No. Not like that. It’s not that simple. We can’t just fall back into a relationship. Remember what you wrote: if we never got to be together again, you’d like to be my friend. Did you mean that?” I asked, looking for bullshit in his eyes.
“Yes, I did,” he replied. He looked sincere. He sounded sincere. Still, I was apprehensive. I think I earned the right to be.
“I’m glad to hear that. Seth, I think we need to just tread lightly. Not force things. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Let’s leave it at that,” I said as he nodded his head. I could tell this was not what he wanted to hear, but I could give a shit. I was the shot caller now.
Hell, he’d better recognize.
It was going to take a lot of kissing ass and truth telling for him to get back in my good graces, to get me to trust him again.
The thing is, I wanted to trust him again…because I still had feelings for this man.
“Alright. I guess I gotta do a whole lot of ass licking and butt kissing to get back in with you right?” he asked. I laughed because he sounded like the old Seth. That was something I’m glad didn’t change…his smart ass remarks and sense of humor.
“You said it, not me,” I said as he grinned at me.
“Good thing I’m a freak,” Seth said as he winked at me and I laughed once more.
“I see some things haven’t changed,” I said.
“Not that. Being freaky is what I do best, if you recall,” he replied with that devilish grin of his.
“Only too well,” I said as he stopped eating and pushed his empty plate to the side. He wiped his mouth and leaned over and stared at me with the most serious look on his face.
“I’m glad you remember that. Brianna, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get you to trust me again, because I know one thing,” he replied.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“That we belong together and I love you…only you. I never stopped. So if it takes me two more years or ten, I’m going to work so that I can get that gleam in your eye back…the one you used to have when you looked at me,” he replied and I sighed.
“Well, I suggest you get out your kneepads and call your florist because it’s not going to be easy…or cheap,” I replied as he stared at me.
“Never expected it to be. I’m ready,” he said, those blue eyes of his staring into mine. He was seriously telling me that he was going to get me back. The nerve of him.
But it was sexy as hell and I was grinning inside.
“I got my gloves on…you’re going down for the count,” I replied.
“I don’t think so, but we shall see. I don’t mind a good knock down drag out. You’re worth fighting for…believe me,” he said.
“Oh, I know that. Bring it, big boy. Let’s see what you got,” I replied as we stared at each other. Seth’s eyes looked me over slowly.
“You already know what I got. It’ll be fun to introduce you to it again,” he replied as I smiled at him.
“Not gonna happen,” I replied.
“A man can dream, can’t he?” he asked.
“That’s all you can do is dream about me because you can’t have me,” I replied.
“Trust me sweetheart, that’s all I do is dream about you and who knows how this is going to turn out. I might win,” Seth said and I really couldn’t respond to what he said.
“And you might not. But, good luck. You’re going to need it,” I stated as he smiled and gave me another once over. I don’t know if I was going to win this fight, but I would die trying.
Let the games begin.