Confronting the Past

Mavis exited the church and looked around for VaLysia who had promised to pick her up from her meeting. She spotted her car and waved to get her attention. She was happy that Val was picking her up as she hadn't seen much of her over the last few weeks with the wedding planning. Val had called her every day to check on her since the infamous confrontation with Langston Oxford.

Val pulled up to the curb and quickly jumped out of the car. She hugged her Grandmother and gave her a quick kiss before opening the passenger door of the car for her.

"Hey Grandma. I hope I'm not late" she said grinning.

"Of course not" Mavis replied as she climbed into the car. "I just walked out of the church."

She slid her cane in the back seat and snapped her seat belt. Val quickly closed the door and walked around the car and got in the driver's seat.

"How's the wedding plans going?" Mavis asked. "You're practically glowing. I gather that Matheson has been treating you well."

"Everything's coming together." Val replied "Emily is a big help. I can't believe that it's getting so close. We'll be getting married in a couple of months!"

"I know Matheson is counting down the days" Mavis replied giving Val a sidelong glance. "That boy seems totally over the moon for you, girl. "

Val laughed. "The feeling is mutual, Grandma. I feel that I'm the luckiest person in the world"

They pulled up in front of Mavis' residence and Val helped her grandmother out of the car. Mavis never used her cane unless she was tired and so she walked into the building holding it in her hand. Val held her arm as they walked into the building.

Val was surprised when a man got up from one of the chairs in the lobby and approached them. It was Langston Oxford. She quickly looked at her Grandmother dreading her reaction. Her Grandmother stiffened for a moment and looked at Langston warily as he approached, her expression guarded.

"Good evening" Langston said nodding his head. He looked a bit nervous himself, Val observed. Gone was the suit that she first saw him in and now he was wearing a green polo shirt and navy blue pants with a blazer. His gray hair was neatly parted on the side and he ran his hand through it.

"Good evening" Val replied looking at her grandmother.

"What can we do for you, Mr. Oxford" Mavis asked her voice straining to remain in control. Now that she looked at him she could see obvious differences between him and his father. He was taller and his eyes while they were the same gray color as their fathers, they were shaped differently. His father's nose was also narrower than his.

"I really need to talk to you Mrs. James." Langston was saying.

"Talk? What is there to talk about?" Mavis asked walking away from him towards the elevator.

Langston followed her. "I think you know what. Your mother told me that we have the same father. This is a shock to me. I think we need to talk about this. I have some questions that I am not sure you can answer."

"I don't want you upsetting my grandmother" Val protested as he followed them uninvited onto the elevator. She placed herself between Langston and her grandmother. She wished that he would just leave. She would call security as soon as they reached her grandmother's apartment!

"I don't want to upset anybody, Miss" Langston replied turning for the first time to look at Val. "However-"

He paused and stared at her a moment forgetting what he was about to say as he focused on Val's face. Langston was taken aback as he realized that Val looked a lot like the woman in the picture. He was glad that he decided to bring the pictures and letter with him. Was this Mavis daughter or granddaughter perhaps?

Val looked at him curiously as he stared at her his lips slightly parted. "You were saying?"

"I just want some answers." He replied recovering from his initial surprise. He looked at Mavis pleadingly. "Ms. James don't you want some too or do you already have all the answers?"

Mavis sighed and looked at him as they rode up in the elevator. "No one has all the answers, Mr. Oxford."

"Langston" he insisted as the doors opened and they got off the elevator.

Mavis didn't reply but walked up to her door and inserted the key.

"It's been a month since I saw you at Panera" Langston continued. "I had to find you. I remembered that your daughter said that her name was Emily Matheson Hendricks and so I traced you through her. She wouldn't give me any information on you, but I was able to find you with a little detective work of my own."

Mavis opened the door and turned to him. He really did look like her father, but she knew that he couldn't help that. His eyes were kinder than their fathers. Perhaps that was a trait her inherited from his mother.

"Come in, Langston" she said finally after staring at him several moments.

"Thank you." He replied sounding relieved.

Mavis led him to the sofa and indicated for him to sit down. She turned to Val as she sat down across from him. "You don't have to stay baby."

Val's mouth fell open. She wasn't about to leave her grandmother alone with this man. She stared at him as he sat on the sofa with his hands folded in his lap.

Mavis looked at her and smiled as if reading her mind.

"I'll be fine."

Val looked at Langston and then back at Mavis. "I don't have any plans for a while Grandma. I'm not leaving." Her voice was firm letting Mavis know that she meant business.

"Alright then" Mavis replied reluctantly. "Would you mind making us some tea then?"

Val stared at the two of them a moment in total disbelief. He Grandmother looked at her and nodded towards the kitchen. She couldn't believe that her grandmother was actually going to talk to this man. Val sighed and walked off knowing that Mavis wanted to talk to Langston alone. She didn't want to fight with her, but she was going to keep her eyes on the two of them.

"I'm sorry if I upset you the other day." Langston was saying. "I had no idea..." His voice trailed off as he looked away. He then fumbled as he reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope.

"After you all left Panera's I went back to my family home and searched through my father's things to see what I could learn. I found these" he said holding the envelope. He opened it and took out three pictures and handed them to her.

He watched her face as she looked at them and he could tell that she recognized the people in them.

"Who are they?" Langston asked.

Mavis got up from her chair and sat on the sofa beside him. She held up the picture of the black woman and the baby. "That's my mother and the baby is me." She held up the second picture of the same woman with a small girl who looked about two. "That's me and my mother" She held up the third picture. "That's me, my mother and Ms. Trudy and her husband Mr. Alvin."

Langston stared at the pictures a moment. "So you really are my sister."

"I guess I am" Mavis replied. "I didn't know about you...I didn't know much about my father. I just hated him for what he did to my mother."

"You mean because he didn't marry her?" Langston asked.

Mavis laughed bitterly. "Marry her? I am a product of rape, Langston. Your father raped my mother when she was fourteen! She was just as child and he took advantage of her! Then he'd come back every other Christmas and she couldn't keep him off of her! He even did it in front of me. I hated his guts."

Langston stared at her in total disbelief. "I...I don't know what to say. "

"There's nothing to say. It's not your fault." Mavis replied.

"I guess I had hoped that he loved her" Langston said. "It doesn't make sense to me. Why did the Mathesons allow it? Why did they let him stay at their home over and over again?"

"I've often wondered the same thing" Mavis replied. "I know Ms. Trudy tried to protect my mother. She'd send us away sometimes when she knew he was coming and she and her father would get in awful fights. He controlled the purse strings and he knew how to exert his power over the household. Mr. Arnold worked for Ms. Trudy's father so Mr. Matheson had complete control."

Langston looked at her curiously. "Her father's name was Matheson too?"

Mavis nodded. "Yes. He only had Ms. Trudy and always wanted a son. Mr. Alvin was a distant cousin of theirs. He played matchmaker with Ms. Trudy and that boy. Mr. Alvin's family was in a lot of debt and Ms. Trudy's father told them that if Mr. Alvin married his daughter, he'd take care of everything. Mr. Alvin's folks were against it because even though they were distant cousins, they were still blood but Ms. Trudy's father wouldn't take no for answer."

"He arranged a marriage with his daughter with her own cousin?" Langston asked shocked.

"That's right." Mavis replied. "Ms. Trudy and Mr. Alvin's great grandfathers were brothers...they weren't close, but that still too close for some folks."

"Ms Trudy's father wanted a grandson bad. But he got Ms. Emily." Mavis said as Val came from the kitchen with the tea and handed each of them a cup. Her grandmother paused and then looked at her. Val knew that she would not continue her conversation with Langston until she left.

"I'm going to call Matheson" Val said walking into her Grandmother's bedroom.

"That's fine, dear. Shut the door" Mavis replied. She waited until she heard the door shut and then turned back to Langston.

"I love Miss Emily like my own daughter" Mavis said sipping her tea. "I raised her. Her mother's deathbed wish was that I do so. Ms. Trudy knew I wanted to leave that house. I was very angry at them for what they allowed to happen to my mother." Mavis sighed and sat the cup down. "I don't know what I thought she and Mr. Alvin could do. Her father ruled that house with an iron fist. Now God don't like ugly but he ain't stuck on beauty either. Ms. Trudy's father wanted a grandson, but he got Miss Emily and Ms. Emily is a little off. We don't know if it's because of the close family connection or if it's because she took so long to take her first breath when she was born."

"Why do you think they allowed my father...our father to come back again and again?" Langston asked reaching into his pocket. "I don't believe Trudy Matheson approved whatever the reason." He handed Mavis the letter from Trudy and she opened it. Langston watched her as she read it and heard her gasp before she slowly closed the letter and handed it back to him.

"I never knew that the money she paid me came from him." Mavis said looking at Langston.

"She knew you wouldn't take it" Langston replied.

They didn't speak for several minutes as Mavis seemed deep in thought. "What do you hope to get out of all this, Langston?" she said finally.

"I don't know." he confessed. "I guess I just want to make sense of it all. Why would my father do such a thing? Why would Mr. Matheson condone his behavior? I guess we'll never have any answers."

He stood up. "I've taken up enough of your time. I'll take my leave."

"There is one other thing." Mavis said slowly. "I could never bring myself to do it...but now may just be the time."

Langston looked at her curiously. "Do what?"

"Read my mother's writings...she used to write and keep a diary. I kept it all, but could never bring myself to read any of it. It was much too painful so I kept all of it in a box."

Langston sat back down. "I don't want you doing anything you don't feel comfortable about"

"No...now is the time. I just know it." She reached out and took Langston's hand. "You're my brother. It's not your fault what your daddy did. We both should know the truth. Have you searched through all of your father's things? Are you sure that there's nothing else?"

"I'm not sure" Langston confessed. "I didn't look through everything. What should I be looking for?"

"I don't know really" Mavis replied standing up. "Wait here"

She knocked on the bedroom door and went in. She came back out with a box and Val was with her. The box was the size of a normal storage box that was used to store documents.

"I've kept this in the closet for years." Mavis said. "It's my mother's writings. I haven't looked at them and I don't want to just yet." She handed him the box. "I want you to look through them. I don't want to read about the trauma she went through with that man...it would be too hard for me. You read it. Maybe you can find some answers."

Langston took the box from her. "I'm not sure what I should be looking for."

"The answers you seek...that's what you're looking for." Mavis said leading him towards the door. "Read though these and look around your father's house and then come back to see me and we'll talk."

Langston nodded. "Very well then." He looked at Val who was watching them. "You look just like her." he said then his gaze returned to Mavis.

"Like who?" Val asked.

Mavis smiled "My mother. You look like my mother."

She opened the door for Langston. He then turned back to Mavis. "I'm sorry about all this."

"There's a time and a season for everything, Langston. I believe it's our time to now confront our past."

He nodded in agreement. "Perhaps you're right."

William Hendricks, Sr. sat back in the chair and read the report he had received. He had a plan. If he couldn't break them up, he could at least stir the pot a bit.

He had set up a meeting with a couple of Matheson's old girlfriends. One looked particularly promising. Iris Andrews was the type of girl that William Sr. approved of for his only grandson. She was a striking beauty with large green eyes. Her long auburn hair and olive complexion enhanced her striking features. What went wrong there?

Iris had been located and the report said that she was still single. Good. He had paid her way to fly to Florida and offered her a free weekend at a top notch hotel. She had quickly taken advantage of his generosity and she should arrive any minute. His plan had to work!

The doorbell rang and he knew it was her. His wife was at dialysis and would be gone for hours so he knew that he'd have no interference from her. His housekeeper Debra knew how to keep her mouth shut because he paid her extra to do so. She hadn't let him down yet.

William Sr looked up as Debra led Iris into the room. She looked around curiously and then smiled at William Sr.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Andrews" William Sr said. "Sit down. I appreciate you taking me up on my offer."

"The pleasure is all mines" Iris said mentally calculating the cost of the expensive items she saw in the room as she sat down across from him.

"I asked you here for one purpose. " William Sr. leaned forward in the chair. "I want to know what happened between you and my grandson. What ended your relationship?"

Iris looked at him surprised. Was this why Matheson's grandfather was being so generous? Why was he concerned now about something that happened over two years ago?

"Matheson worked all the time. He never had time for me" Iris explained.

"I find it hard to believe that he never had time for a beautiful girl like you" William said smiling hoping to get more out of her.

"Well...he was into his work a lot" Iris continued. "We saw each other on occasion...I mean...he worked so much that he never had much energy for me."

William raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

Iris sighed. Did she have to spell it out to this old man? What was this really all about? "He was tired all the time. He never had time for me. I'm a grown woman with urges just like anybody else, sir. I mean...we'd go weeks and weeks without...you know...being together and then when I'd finally get with him...well let's just say his efforts left much to be desired."

William studied her a moment. "I see...and did Matheson ever try to correct his...er...problem?"

"I asked him to buy me things and he did...I mean I needed something out of the relationship. I wasn't getting much affection from him...so he bought me things to make up for it."

"I gather though that these "things" were not enough" William responded.

"Let's just say I started getting what I needed elsewhere and then Matheson found out about it." Iris replied looking down at her nails.

William Sr. took out his checkbook and began to write. "I don't think he has that problem anymore" He handed Iris a check and watched as her eyes grew big reading it.

"I want you to look my grandson up. See if something may be still there" William replied smiling.

Iris looked at him confused. "I heard that he's engaged. What's the point?"

"The point is" William replied standing. "Is that I'm not too happy with his choice in a bride. His family wants him to reconsider his decision and just maybe seeing you, he will do that."

"I don't know..." Iris replied putting the check back on the desk. "It doesn't seem right. Matheson is a nice guy...he just didn't have much going on in the bedroom. Either he couldn't get it up or he couldn't keep it up. I mean...I'm happy that he's better now. If he's happy I don't want to mess with that."

William Sr. tried to hide his anger as he smiled at her. He had done his homework and knew that Iris was up to her ears in debt. He immediately went for the jugular.

"Miss Andrews, I've done my research well." he said politely. " You have overextended yourself and can barely make it month to month. The bank that you've worked at for over ten years tends to frown on employees with low credit scores."

Iris jumped up. "I'm making my payments!" How did he know her financial condition? She tried not to panic.

"Barely!"William Sr snapped back. "Your credit is about to go down the toilet!"

"My credit is just fine" she replied trying to sound confident.

William Sr scoffed at her denial. He had her just where he wanted her.

"Yes...but for how long? You have a younger brother you're help putting through college. If you lose your job..." He let his voice trail off and watched as Iris eyes filled with tears.

"Please don't do this Mr. Hendricks." she begged.

"Do what?" William Sr. said trying to sound innocent. "All I want you to do is to look up Matheson. Talk to him. Feel him out. Is that too much to ask? This check will pay your brother's tuition and cover your debt. What I'm asking of you is just a small favor in exchange for becoming debt free, don't you agree?"

Iris stared at the check for a moment. He had cornered her. She looked at him admitting defeat. "Alright I'll do it."

She walked towards the door and then quickly turned around. "However, cancel my weekend here. I want to go home."

"As you wish" William Sr replied smiling triumphantly.

Langston took the box that he had obtained from Mavis back to his condo. He wondered how she could go all those years and not read the contents. He could barely wait to get home to sift through the papers.

He took the box to his bedroom and opened it on the bed. The drive had taken him over two hours because of the traffic. He quickly undressed and checked his watch. It was only eight o'clock but he had a feeling that he would be up for a while. Inside the box were several cloth bound notebooks and some letters wrapped up in a string. He was surprised to see that all the letters came from his father. He flipped through them seeing that they were in date order and took out the oldest one. It was yellow with age. He decided to read the letters first.

February 15, 1947

My Dearest Lilly:

I know that you think that I am a coward and have told me that you do not wish to see me ever again, but I cannot do so. If we were in a different era, perhaps things could be different. Perhaps one day colored people and white people may be able to get married, but that is not so today.

I was disappointed when you returned the money I sent you. I wish you would keep it and use it to help with our child when it is born. I know that you are proud and I respect that.

You said my career as a Senator is more important to me than you and the baby. That's not fair. It's more complicated than that. I have everything to lose. Most likely I would lose custody of my young son. I cannot allow that to happen. Please try to understand my position. Know that in my heart, I do love you and I always will.

Yours, Langston.

Langston stared at the letter totally stunned. Mavis had said that her mother was raped. This letter indicated otherwise to him. His father had been in love with her. He quickly read some of the other letters. There were about ten in all.

August 14, 1955

My Dearest Lilly:

It is a hard thing to look in the face of your child and show no emotion. It's hard to lie with you at night and then remain impassive in the morning as you serve me breakfast. It's hard to know that your child doesn't know you, doesn't love you, and in fact hates you. It's hard.

I know that your life is much harder than mine, so I'll cease my whining for a bit. I made my bed and so I have to lie in it. Emmit Matheson has insisted that I continue to finance his endeavors if I know what's good for me. That means that he'll drop some hints to some reporters and my constituents if I don't do as he asks. He even set up a meeting with me and my radical KKK constituents. I think he likes to remind me of the power he has over me.

The only light in all this mess is the fact that he welcomes me still in his home and I get to see you and Mavis. I've talked to Alvin about my situation and he is very sympathetic even if his wife Trudy isn't. She feels that I have taken advantage of your position. Perhaps she's right. All I know is that I love you.

It was hard for me to leave you in tears and return to Virginia. I spotted Mavis in the corner as I was leaving your bed. I didn't know how long she had been there. She must have sneaked back in your room after you left her with Cissy. How could I explain my actions to an eight year old? I cannot, so I let her be.

I look forward to seeing you over the Christmas holidays. I will be down then.

With all my love,

Langston

Langston sat there stunned. Emmit Matheson was blackmailing his father about his relationship with Lilly. Surely there was something his father could have done! He sat there and remembered the fear in his father's face when he argued with him about the civil rights movement. No wonder he was so against it. How could the elder Langston allow himself to get in such a mess!

Langston opened the last letter in the bundle dated several months before the letter he had read from Trudy Matheson.

April 12, 1959

My Dearest Lilly:

I am truly grieved to hear about our loss. You may not believe me, but I do regret all that I have put you through. You told me that you never turned me away when I came to the Matheson house because you loved me too, yet you cried every time I left your bed. It breaks my heart to realize all you have endured because of me. This past Christmas was a happy time for me. I should have been more careful with you. Only when I'm with you do I feel whole. The fact that you would still accept me in your bed is a bit of a mystery, but being with you makes the burden of my life much more bearable.

I would come to see you, but I am sure Trudy Matheson would have my head on a platter after this latest pregnancy. I will do as you ask and stay away for now. Mavis is growing up to be such a beautiful young lady. It's tragic that I can't claim her as my own and even if I could, I doubt if she'd have me. You were her age when we fell in love and yet I cannot imagine my own daughter being put through what you have endured from me. It may be of little consolation, but there is no other woman for me. I only want you, my dearest Lilly.

Even though you have refused funds in the past, I am ready to provide whatever you may need. All you have to do is ask. I hope that you will be well soon. I understand that you are still recovering and are weak from a lot of blood loss. I will do all I can in the future to protect you from conceiving even if it means abstinence. I think you know that my feelings for you are beyond the physical.

I have decided not to run for reelection. I am tired of the blackmail and the threats. I'm tired of hiding my feelings and trying to field questions from others as to why I never remarried. I'm tired of people telling me that Langston needs a mother. He's 18 now and he doesn't even need me, much less a stepmother. If things had been different, that person would have been you. He's off to college soon. He's so naive to this world, yet he's so optimistic. I feel older than my fifty years. I just wish things could have been different for us. I'm afraid that all this has seriously affected my relationship with my son. My life is full of regrets. My failures are numerous especially when it pertains to you and Mavis.

Regardless of what has happened, I love you and I love my child. I love the one you lost. How I long to lie next to you and hear the steady beat of your heart and I pray for one more visit with you that I may do so, however I feel in my heart that my wish may not come to pass. Nevertheless, know that I will always love you.

Yours,

Langston

Langston put the letters back in the box. he couldn't read anymore right now. What was he going to tell Mavis? His father didn't force her, but still...she was only a child when their relationship started! How would Mavis take the fact that there had been another baby who didn't make it? He wouldn't contact her right away. He needed to get Lilly's perspective on all this. Perhaps something in her writings would reveal her true feelings about his father.

He placed the box by the side of his bed and cut out the light. In the darkness he thought about all he had read and realized that he really didn't know his father at all.