By December, Scott, Deidre and Rachel were into a routine. Scott and Deidre rearranged their lives, and made a more permanent place for Rachel in it. Decorated in shades of green and yellow, the guest room was now Rachel’s sanctuary. Most of the office furniture was moved, and they completely got rid of the bed. I

While Rachel played on the carpet in the living room, Deidre was sitting crossed-legged on the floor in front of the coffee table going over a list. In the background the television was tuned to ABCFamily Channel where they were playing the Claymation version of “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Neither of the two females was paying attention to what was going on in the program.  Rachel was fully engrossed with her dolls pulling off all of their clothes and placing them on a sleeping Bear, who happened not to notice a thing. Deidre was wrapped up in creating a to-do list of things that she needed to take care of before her relatives arrived.

Scott, after being on call all weekend, walked into the house with a gym bag and groceries. Surprisingly, the dog was the first to notice Scott’s entrance. Bear stood up from his sprawled out position causing all of Rachel’s dolls to fall off of his back.

“Bad Bear!” Rachel admonished as the puppy walked over to Scott in hopes of a treat.

Deidre looked up to see what caused Rachel’s reaction. She watched as Bear went to the door to greet Scott. “Hey, how was work?” She asked.

“It was fine. Only a couple of surgeries today.” Scott said bending down to rub Bear’s head.

Rachel jumped up from her seated position and ran to the door. “Daddy!” She yelled.

Scott put the bags he was carrying on the ground, and easily picked up the two-year-old and swung her in the air. “Hey there Ray. What were you doing to Bear?” He asked

“I play wif ‘im.” Rachel replied.

“Really?” Scott said walking over to the couch.

Rachel nodded her head.

“So Bear likes it when there are a bunch of dolls on his back?” Scott asked.

Rachel giggled and nodded her head again.

While the two were bonding, Deidre picked up the bags of grocery Scott left by the door and headed to the kitchen. “You probably should have waited before you stopped by the store.” She said from the kitchen.

With Rachel in his arms, he walked back to see what his wife was talking about. “Why do you say that?”

“Because we have to go back again tomorrow to get everything on the list.” Deidre explained putting things into the refrigerator. “I still cannot believe we not only agreed to, but also somehow convinced both of our families to come here for Christmas. We do not have enough room for everyone.”

“Deidre they’re all staying in a hotel, so that’s not a problem.”

“I know but I absolutely hate that they have to. Our next house is going to be bigger.” Deidre said.

“Of course it is babe.” Scott sat down and held Rachel in his lap, who was reaching for the plastic bags to pull apart.

“I’m talking at least four bedrooms and an office. We have to have more than one guest room. I feel awful that our parents have to stay in a hotel, not so much about your sister-in-law though. She could stay in Timbuktu for all I care.”

“First of all, she’s your sister-in-law too, and second of all that was not nice, was it Rachel.”

Rachel shook her head. “Not nice mommy.” Rachel said, even though she had no clue what the two adults were talking about.

Deidre turned around and put her hands on the counter. She looked at Scott and Rachel and she couldn’t help but smile. “Really Rachel, I wasn’t being nice?” She asked the toddler.

Rachel emphatically shook her head. “No. Not nice mommy.” Rachel repeated before becoming preoccupied by the plastic bag in front of her again.

Deidre looked back to Scott, “I just don’t understand why she is such a... I don’t want to say the word in front of Rachel, but you know what I mean.”

Scott laughed. “Yeah I know what you mean. I really don’t know.  Every time I talk to Kevin about it, he says she’s not really like that.”

“So she’s somehow a completely different person when we’re not around?” Deidre asked.

“Apparently.” Scott said.

Deidre looked at the clock on the oven and then over to Rachel who was lying back on Scott’s chest. She looked like she was about to fall asleep. “Okay munchkin,” Deidre said. “Bath time and then bed time. Let’s go.”

“No!” Rachel said.

“Yes ma’am. It’s time for your bath Rachel.” Deidre said walking around the counter.

Rachel held on to Scott’s shirt, “No bath; no bed!”

“Rachel after you take a bath, how about I read you two bedtime stories.” Scott said.

“Two?” Rachel asked not quite ready to admit defeat.

“Yes two. Can you show me how many is two?”

Rachel thought about it and then held up two fingers. “Very good, now go with mommy.” Scott instructed.

Rachel sighed before allowing Deidre to pick her up.

After Scott read Rachel to sleep, and Deidre put Bear in the laundry room where he slept on his doggy bed, Scott and Deidre were in their room getting ready for bed.

“How is it that I always end up the bad guy?” Deidre asked after she brushed her teeth.

Scott was in bed already and smiled. “I just can’t say no to that face. I mean have you seen the face it’s so hard to resist.”

“I think she likes you more than me.” Deidre said joining Scott in bed.

“Deidre, you’re not serious are you?”

Deidre gave him an uncertain look.

“Deidre, Rachel adores you. I see it everyday in the way she follows you around and the way she tries to mimic your behavior. Sometimes while your working on a case at home, Rachel will run to her room and grab her folder from daycare and pretend it’s a manila folder like yours. You may not see it, but I do. You’re good with her and you love her. And that’s all that really matters.”

Deidre snuggled up to Scott and buried her head in his chest. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I just don’t understand why you doubt yourself so much.”

“I don’t want to screw this up. She’s a person, a little tiny person with her whole life ahead of her. I don’t … you know me, I like to be in control and there’s so much about being a parent that I can’t control and it terrifies me.”

“You have got to let some of that stuff go Deidre. You cannot worry about every bad thing that might happen to her. We can’t shelter her. Bad things will happen that we can’t prevent. But she’ll grow and learn from them.” Scott said.

“You’re right.”

“I know I’m right. Generally, I am right.” Scott laughed.

Deidre smiled and shook her head before turning around to go to sleep.

Over the next few days, with the help of Hannah, Scott and Deidre prepared for the arrival of their holiday guests. The Christmas countdown was at three days, and everyone’s flights were due to land at some time during the day. Each family unit agreed to rent a car, enabling them to have some autonomy while they were visiting.

Rachel was sitting at the kitchen table coloring while Scott was putting away dishes from breakfast. Deidre walked in with her purse and jacket in her hands. “So,” she said getting Scott’s attention. “My parents, Aaron and Beth are the first ones to get in right?”

“Yeah, I talked to your mother while you were in the shower. She wanted to make sure they had the address right for when they get the rental. They plan on checking into the hotel first and then coming by the house. I think as long as you’re back by lunch you should be able to meet them when they come over.” Scott said.

“Right and your family, they arrive when?” Deidre asked putting on her jacket.

“I’m pretty sure mom coordinated their flight with Kevin so they should all arrive around mid-afternoon. They are going to be exhausted though. “

“I bet. Your parent’s flight is what ten hours long?” Deidre asked.

“Yeah, something like that. Are you taking Rachel?” Scott asked.

Rachel looked up from her coloring book after hearing her name.

“I don’t know. Does Rachel want to come with me?” Deidre asked the little girl.

Rachel tilted her head to the side and thought for a minute before nodding her head emphatically. “I go!” Rachel said hopping off of the chair.

“Alright then let’s go get your shoes and jacket, then we can go.”

Deidre stayed out much later than she anticipated. By the time she and Rachel arrived back at home, Rachel was fast asleep in her car seat.  Parked in her driveway were three cars with out of state tags. Instead of pulling into the drive, Deidre parked on the street.

Carrying a sleeping Rachel, Deidre walked into her very active home.  All of the men, Kevin’s two boys and Margot were in the living room watching highlights from previous year’s Christmas football game. Deidre was almost able to make it into the house unnoticed. However, the ever-observant Margot called her out.

“Hi Aunt Deidre!” Margot said getting up from where she was sitting in between her brothers.

“Hi Margot. Can you give me a minute? I need to put Rachel in her bed okay.” Deidre said as she continued to walk toward the back.

“Okay.” Margot followed Deidre to Rachel’s room.

After putting Rachel down, Deidre came back out to properly greet her guest.

“Hey guys.” Deidre said greeting everyone sitting in her living room.

“Hey D. Mom, Beth and the rest of the ladies are all in the kitchen. I think they’re discussing Christmas dinner.” Aaron said taking a sip of his beer.

“I don’t think they’re planning Christmas dinner.” Deidre said.

“Why not?” Aaron asked.

“Because I’m cooking and you guys are going to help.” David said.

“Wait a minute. Dad and I usually cook Christmas breakfast not Christmas dinner.” Aaron protested.

“In our family, we usually have an Italian feast.” Scott explained.

“Yes, Italian is my specialty.” David said.

“So what, Deidre? Our family traditions go out the window?” Aaron asked.

“I have no objections to you men cooking breakfast too.” Deidre smiled.

“Dad?” Aaron said turning to Michael.

“I think it sounds like a good idea, son. We’ll show David, Kevin and the boys how breakfast is done in the James household on Christmas morning.”

“That means you guys are going to have to be back over here bright and early.” Deidre explained.

Aaron turned to his brother-in-law who remained quiet on the subject. “Scott, what do you have to say about all of this?”

“I don’t have a problem with it. It seems like a good plan to me.” Scott said.

“You can’t be serious?” Aaron said.

“Hey before you get too deep into this conversation and try to weasel yourself out of this Aaron, I need you guys to bring the groceries in from my car.” Deidre instructed.

“We’ll take care of it.” Scott said standing up from his seated position on the couch.

Deidre left the men and went in search of her mom, mother-in-law and three sister-in-laws. She found the five women in the kitchen drinking coffee.

“Hi ladies.” Deidre said as she sat down at the table.

“Well, it’s nice of you to join us.” Sam said.

“It’s nice to see you too Sam.” Deidre said.

“Hey Deidre! I still can’t believe it’s been a year since I saw you last.” Beth said embracing Deidre.

“I know. A lot has happened since then.” Deidre said.

“Yeah it has.” Beth smiled.

“Hi mom.” Deidre said as she hugged her mother as well.

“Hi sweetheart. Where is Rachel?”

“She is napping. I wore the poor girl out. We were only supposed to be out until lunch, but I could not find all of the things on my list at one store. I ended up at several. This is the last time I’m hosting a holiday.” Deidre explained.

“It’s not so easy to pull off now is it?” Catherine asked bouncing Matthew, Aaron and Beth’s one-year-old, on her lap.

“No it’s not. How was your flight?” Deidre directed the question to her mother-in-law.

“Long, very very long. I wish the four of you lived closer. That way I could visit you guys more often.” Catherine said.

“Mom that’s the reason Scott and I moved out here. Didn’t we tell you?” Hannah joked.

Catherine shook her head at her daughter and smiled. At that moment, the men began bringing the groceries into the kitchen.

“I think we should let them bring everything in first, and then we can put it up.” Beth suggested as she watched each male, including the boys, carry in bags.

“I think that’s a good idea.” Deidre said.

The women made their way into the living room and occupied the now vacant seats. Hannah changed the channel to less testosterone fueled programming. While they were waiting for the men to finish bringing in the groceries, Rachel woke up and came out of her room. She was startled by all of the unfamiliar faces in her house. Catherine, who was sitting in an armchair facing the back hallway, was the first to notice the two-year-old hugging the frame of the doorway.

“Well look who woke up from her nap.” Catherine said.

Deidre turned her head to look at Rachel. Seeing her mother, Rachel ran around the couch and hoped onto Deidre’s lap. She buried her head in Deidre’s chest so the only visible part of her body was her back and her head of massively curly hair.

During the days leading up to Christmas, Rachel slowly came out of her shell. She became more comfortable with the people around her and she had even begun to follow Margot around. Margot, of course, loved the attention.

After Christmas dinner, Deidre and Beth volunteered to clean up the mess.

“I think this turned out very well Deidre.” Beth said.

“I think so too. I’m glad I didn’t have to cook though.”

“Me and you both.” Beth laughed. “So, it’ll be a year for you and Scott in a few days. Tell me how it’s really going.” She prodded.

Deidre stopped washing the dish she had in her hand and looked at her sister-in-law. “Things rarely go as planned.” Deidre smiled.

“I’ll say. When you called and told me about Jessica I was devastated.”

“Yeah, but things seem to be working out well with Rachel. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if Jessica was alive; if she were here to raise Rachel. What would Rachel be like? What would my relationship with Scott look like?”

“It’s not bad is it?” Beth asked.

“Dear god no!’ Deidre exclaimed. “Things are good with us, very good. I just imagine we would be in a different place if our lives hadn’t changed so much with the addition of Rachel. “

“I know you told me that after a year you and Scott would discuss having a child. Is that still on the table now that you have Rachel?” Beth asked curious.

“I haven’t really put much thought into it. On that front, I’ve been so consumed with just making sure Rachel is okay. It’s hard to know how a toddler takes the death of the one person who’s been there for them from the very beginning.”

“She seems to be doing well.”

“She is. She’s adjusted very well.”

“So, are you at leas open to the idea of having another child; of bringing life into this world.” Beth asked.

Deidre shook her head at Beth’s dramatization of the concept. “I’m not opposed to the idea. I’m just not sure how soon that would be. We have yet to discuss the topic at length. What about you and Aaron? Any more for the two of you?”

“I don’t know. Matthew just turned one. I’m thinking it is a little early to have another baby around. I love him so much, and I love getting to know this little person.” Beth said.

“He is a pretty cool little guy.” Deidre laughed.

“I know. I’m biased, but I don’t think there is another kid as amazing as he is anywhere in this world.” Beth said.

“Yeah, you’re biased. But that’s a mother’s prerogative right.” Deidre smiled.