Celia was quite useless in the kitchen. Frayed nerves caused her to forget the basics of cooking reacting clumsily to simple instructions. At one point she almost burned herself having been regulated to watching the pot simmer. Sonia shook her head puzzled by her friend's actions. Eventually Annabelle had her dismissed from the kitchen for her own safety and the sake of her own nerves - dinner needed to get cooked.

What's wrong with me? She asked herself, wiping off clammy hands on her apron. This was so out of character.

Spotting Henderson in the process of lighting the downstairs she decided to offer her assistance. Surely she wouldn't burn down the house.  He was very grateful since he needed to attend to Jonathan and fretted about the lateness of the hour. He gave her a lit candle and told her which rooms remained to be lighted.

<<<<<<<<< 

Dread - an ominous feeling that he couldn't easily be rid of. There when he took his bath and now as Henderson finished dressing him for dinner. His face tension-filled...so many thoughts racing through his mind all at once... If he pressured her he may lose her. If he didn't he may still lose her. Joseph wasn't anywhere around yet he held the best cards within his grasp - Celia and Joshua. Whatever decision she made he must accept it... regardless. But could he bear losing her twice in his lifetime without putting up a fight. He reflected back on some of the last words that he and Drake shared with one another.

"Pray for us and pray that I'm able to convince Eliza that it will work out between us. You are the only person that understands what I'm experiencing."

"I'll pray that you remain strong throughout whatever obstacles that may arise. My friend you have greater courage than I ever did."

"Ah Drake here is my opportunity to have your same courage but our lives are far more complicated," he muttered to himself.

"Did you say something sir?"

"It was nothing Henderson."

<<<<<<<<< 

There were only a few rooms remaining mainly the dining room, the parlor and the last being the foyer where she was presently. She found that her circumstance was never far away from her conscious.

Jonathan had given his word so why was she troubled?

Maybe you wanted him to go further, came the words from an inner voice.

"Nonsense..." She tried dismissing the thought but found it difficult because...

Didn't that kiss ignite a flame? A burning desire to be with your only love...

The imagery of his hands caressing up and down her spine; savoring the sensation of his tongue wrapped around hers, the weight of his body pressed against her.

"Stop It! Stop It!"

Giggles from the banister - Amy with Beatrice in tow...Soon Clara and Sofie joined them. Celia could care less. She held her head straight and went on with her task.

"Oh my Celia is losing her mind," Amy giggled.

"Is she?" Clara asked interested.

Secretly she wished it were true. "What a marvelous sight. Jonathan should have been here to witness the unraveling." Beatrice rolled her eyes in disgust. "Knock on the door Beatrice and see if my husband is ready to go down to dinner."    

"Henderson, see who's there and tell them I'm not finished." Henderson nodded.

"Mrs. Campbell wants to know if Dr. Campbell is ready for dinner."

"Dr. Campbell is running a bit late." As we all are.

"Henderson, inform the ladies that they can go ahead with the meal. I'll be down shortly".

"Dr. Campbell suggests that the ladies start the meal without him. He'll be down in a short while." He closed the door.

Amy's face wrinkled in disgust. As the man of the house he is to be present at meals whenever guests are over. She sighed and Clara sympathized. Taking her by the arm they drifted quietly down the stairway.

<<<<<<<<< 

A few minutes later and Jonathan was looking spiffy in his black suit and polished boots, hair slightly tousled.

"Go ahead and help Amos prepare the dining room. I can manage."

"Very good sir..."

One last look in the mirror - the face of an unhappy man in an unhappy state of affairs... I'm desperately in need of a kiss from a dark princess to rescue me... Although he was having doubts that she would ever come. Why? Because the princess is trapped in her own unhappiness...What a horrible fairytale he was telling himself. This whole situation was frustrating but he couldn't break his promise to her.

<<<<<<<<< 

A few hours more and the ship would be on the New York coast. The weather was so much different - colder. But Joseph was excited about experiencing the city. He knew that when the ship arrived in the southern states this privilege would be taken away.

"Have you taken advantage of our Miriam?"

"Our Miriam?" He asked plainly without any malice towards Captain Cummins.

Another evening spent in the captain's quarters drinking a smooth scotch to warm the blood before retiring. His heavy coat could only do so much. This week he was on days. He hated nights because you felt the strain on your muscles when sleep was threatening. The stokehold was an earthly hell. 

"Once she was mine but she grew tired of my many port wives," he laughed, slapping his knee, mouth revealing a few gold teeth.

Nice to have a laugh and a spot of drink with a mate... Soon he'll be returning to the bridge for night duties. The ship was so close to shore. It had to be maneuvered properly. Joseph was welcome company on these short breaks.

"Miriam is a decent woman. When you're out at sea sometimes you need a warm body to keep the darkness away. Do you understand that Joseph?"

"I'm beginning to..."

"It takes a hearty soul to pursue this sea life as a career. You, my friend, are made of sturdy stock." He raised his glass to him and they toasted.

Joseph swallowed his last. "I'm going to call it a night."

"My wife needs me as well." The ship would always be his wife while the women were his mistresses. "You can sleep in my quarters until I return." He had a small cot that Joseph could use.

Joseph was grateful for the offer. "Thank you Captain and Good night..."

"Good night Joseph."

He wasn't comfortable sleeping in the captain's quarters. He decided to study the maps of the oceans when he heard a knock at the door...strange. It was Miriam.

"Couldn't sleep," she said in a small voice.

"And you knew I was here?"

"I usually know where you are," she smiled.

"Come in, take a seat." He poured her a drink.

How many times in the past had she come into this room - a huge map of the Atlantic affixed to the wall, chairs, books, maps, but tonight it seemed different. 

"I guess you heard the story." She eyed him warily, taking a sip.

"You and the captain..."

"These men that have passed through my life mean nothing to me. But you are beginning to mean something..."

"Sea life means no promises."

Just like a man to back away but she still sensed something unique about this Joseph. "No promises but some bonds can never be broken...by anyone."

<<<<<<<<< 

Unprepared - that's why she was going through this experience. She was riding an emotional rollercoaster - up and down, side to side, incredible highs and agonizing lows. And how had she convinced herself that everything would work out splendidly? Their years spent apart of course; their marriages. Since Jonathan wasn't aware, Joshua's parentage wouldn't be much of a factor so she told herself but perfect plans have a way of unraveling - certainly hers had. She had underestimated the emotional bond between them.  

The air is so stifling in here...it was best to go outside and take in the evening breeze. On the verandah there wasn't much relief. What little breeze there was blew sporadically. She decided to rest quietly in the corner. Eyes peered off into the semidarkness. Ears attuned to the different sounds coming from the river and the neighbors pooch barking incessantly in the adjoining backyard. At that moment no one would bother her.

Not so long ago she recalled standing by his window massaging her neck. It was such a warm evening and the air was much cooler on his side of the estate.

Suddenly she felt a chill - Jonathan had blown an icy breath on the nape of her neck. She spun around her eyes catching sight of his unbuttoned shirt that exposed dark curly chest hairs. There was a glint in his eyes while his mouth swirled the small piece of ice around and around.    

"Do you know of something that can cool me down?" she asked without thinking about her words.

He nodded then pulled her into his arms. The heat of their kiss quickly melted the ice away.

"Alas I'm hot again," she whispered in a sultry voice, fingers becoming entwined in his chest hairs.

In a low, sensual voice he replied, "I have another way to cool you down." Slowly he undressed her, one hand loosening her head warp, the other hoisting the hem of her skirt.

"Wait...what time is it?"

"Time for my bath...," he joked, trailing small kisses along her neck.

Yearning for him to continue but she also remembered. "Jo I'm serious." She tried stopping his pleasurable onslaught. Finally she managed to push him aside. "Mrs. Bennington is probably wondering about my whereabouts."

"I don't give a damn about...Mrs...Bennington. Lia, you can't leave me... like this," his voice pleading, dark eyes sending her mind on fire.

 The desire in his eyes made her say...be quiet...quit worrying. That Adonis like body was eagerly calling her and she intended to heed his call. She unlaced the strap that held his hair together, allowing it cascade around his shoulders. He plowed his hair with his right hand, shaking it loose. She moistened her lips while he closed the distance between them.  She started to undress him and he did the same with her.

"You're so beautiful."

"Hmmm...," came her breathy response as his body covered hers.

A passion-filled night - kissing, caressing and stroking each other until she had to leave much to Jonathan's dismay but he wasn't the one that got into hot water afterwards...  

"OH!" She let out a startled expression when she saw Jonathan standing in front of her.

"Forgive me Celia. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I was surprised, that's all," she responded, caressing her neck. Her body felt heated. "Th-thought you'd be at dinner?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing. After our last encounter I was a bit worried." He stood in front of her trying to gauge her mood but she averted her eyes.

"There is no need to worry. I'm fine."

"Alright... if you say so..."

He sat next to her slightly touching her arm, sensing an emotional connection between the both of them but if she wanted to play coy about it he would allow her to do so.

"What were you thinking about before I came out?" he asked deliberately.

She couldn't think of way to respond without sounding foolish but then she replied, "How could anyone think with that dog continuously barking."

"I need to speak to Mr. Abraham about that damn dog." She managed to relax. "Do you mind me coming along with you and Ms. Sonia?" Why did he want to come along? "I miss being around Joshua."

Her heart sighed. "Sure..." Ask him you know you want to. "Would you let me go...if I asked you to?" Her face slightly turned towards him.

This question... "Even if you asked me I wouldn't let you go because deep down you don't want me to." He wanted to kiss her so badly but..."I must go inside before they send someone for me." He arose and walked away.

Celia you can't have it both ways. Either you want to be with him or you don't.

She looked down at her hands helplessly but there were no answers there.

<<<<<<<<< 

"One guess as to where my husband is at this moment...Celia..." Dinner wasn't going well for Amy - the food lacked taste and the wine was dry. "And to top it all of this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. I don't know what Annabelle is doing in that kitchen. Beatrice, take this away immediately."

"Yes ma'am." Beatrice quickly took away her plate and exited the room.

Clara didn't find anything wrong with her portions - the meal was divine - chicken fricassee and rice served with white wine. She eyed Amy - slowly he friend was going over the edge.

"Henderson, go and look for your master!"

At that same moment Jonathan entered the room. "I'm found!"

"Why did you take so long in coming?" She asked already irritated by his lack of propriety.

"I was delayed." Henderson pulled out his chair. "Never mind the soup I'll dine on the main course." He placed his plate in front of him, pouring his wine. "The meal looks splendid." He spread out his napkin on his lap, taking up knife and fork.

Amy wouldn't accept that shortened explanation. "Clara is a guest in our home and here you are exuding appalling behavior," she said staring at her discarded meal.

"Are you a stranger to me, Clara?"

"Well...no..."

"There you have it! So you see...you are the one that's overreacting."

"I'm the one who's overreacting, "she mocked sadly.

"Amy, I'm the man of this house so give me that respect," he seethed. He took a bite then said, "Delicious isn't it Clara." What could Clara do but nod in agreement. "How is the wine? Superb as well..."

Clara looked on frightfully at the display - Jonathan gushing over his meal while Amy was next to tears. Making a marriage work was harder than she thought. Suddenly Amy got up and rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"You should see to her Clara," he said matter-of-factly, "After all you two are friends."

Another meal interrupted because of Amy. "Of course," she replied.

Jonathan had his own concerns Amy wasn't the only one hurting. It seemed Celia wanted to be released on his word. She needs to look me in the face and say that she doesn't love me otherwise...I'll never let you go.  

<<<<<<<<< 

"You've seen with your own two eyes how horribly he treats me," she cried, stroking her arms. "This interloper must be kicked out of our lives once and for all before it's too late."

Clara almost felt like it was already too late. They strolled on until they reached the stairs. Amy leaned against its bottom rail for support. Clara sent Sofie off to her room.

"If he treats you this badly then why would you want to remain in this marriage?"

Was Clara moronic? She was married to a physician. It afforded her the wealth and status that every woman of her age greatly craved. "Because I know it's because of her! I cannot allow myself to be beaten by that black marauder!"

Clara tapped a finger on her cheek. "I have an idea but perhaps you may not want to consider it."

"I'm at my wits end...say it Clara!"

"Mr. Campbell isn't here and I seriously doubt that his staff would be very helpful towards you. Mrs. Bennington is a very strict steward of that estate."

"Are you saying that I won't be welcomed?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "But I'm Jonathan's wife."

"Not his intended bride," she replied glibly.

Which was true - they had never considered her part of the family. "So what should I do stand here bawling my eyes out!"

"Come let's sit down."

"I don't want to sit. I want to go after that Black HEATHEN!" She attempted track down Celia, confronting her but Clara halted her advance.

"You'll do so at your own peril." Amy thought about it momentarily. "I've learnt that it's not wise to confront these types of issues head-on." Amy twisted out from her grasp, flopping down on the bottom stair, brooding.

Finally she asked, "So tell me Clara, what must I do?"

"I believe... in some way... that S-Sara can help us." She cleared her throat.

A crazed look came into Amy's eyes. "NEVER! Begging that witch! She believes that I took Jonathan away from her. Why would she want to help me?"

"You don't have to go. I'll do it."

"But why would you want to speak to my sworn enemy? She hates me as much as I hate her. What sort of information can you squeeze out of a dried up turnip?"

"Where else are you going to get some answers? You would look very foolish if you confronted this maid with mere suppositions." She paused. "Sara has known Jonathan longer than any of us."

Amy had to admit that Clara was right for once. She relented. "Alright..."

<<<<<<<<< 

Sonia was astonished when Jonathan joined them on their carriage ride home. Sitting across from him the ladies remained quiet.

"Probably would have been gossiping about my fractured household no doubt," Jonathan observed, chuckling. For a second the comment seemed to come out of nowhere then Celia and Sonia giggled sheepishly.

"A little...," Sonia offered, "But we mainly speak about our own lives."

"Is that so? I would think that my intriguing life would carry the weight of any conversation."

"Who is to say that our lives aren't more intriguing?" Sonia asked. This Sonia was a clever woman. Celia nodded in agreement.

"You're right Sonia who is to say," he smiled politely.

Once they had gotten past the awkward beginning they managed to have a good conversation - Sonia chatting away about Celia's kitchen mishaps. Both Jonathan and Celia knew why it had occurred. She hadn't been alright after all.

"I was distracted," she explained quickly.

"I guess I should thank Mrs. Annabelle and Sonia for rescuing the meal."

"You're very welcome." Sonia nudged Celia. "Otherwise she is a very good cook Dr. Campbell. I wonder what caused your distraction Celia."

"Yes Ms. Celia, tell us. We are very curious."

When his eyes gazed upon her she felt her cheeks become warm. "My preoccupation with your dear wife and her friend Clara..." She looked straight at him. The look in his eyes complimented her...a very good response Celia...very good.

"Understandable." Sonia folded her arms and didn't say anymore about the subject.

"It won't be long ladies when my house is back to normal. I promise."

<<<<<<<<< 

"Thank you so much Dr. Campbell for your company and the nice conversation. Have a very good evening."

"I enjoyed our little chat as well. Good evening Ms. Sonia."

She felt a bit uncomfortable standing there without saying anything but she was waiting until Sonia was out of sight. "I'll be back shortly."

Jonathan nodded. Thereafter his eyes carefully scanned her small dwelling. The surrounding yard was properly maintained and knowing Celia so was the inside. But he wanted so much more for her and their son. He had it within his power to give to her if only she would accept it.

Before long Celia returned with Joshua secured tightly in her arms. "Look Joshua your father has come all this way to see you." She placed him on the ground.

"Joshua...," he said going down to one knee.

He regarded Jonathan for a moment then ran into his open arms. Jonathan closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. He would be the father to this little boy that his father never wanted to be to him.

"Would you mind terribly if Joshua and I went on a short carriage ride?"

"Go on..."

"I promise to bring him back safely."

"I know you will..."

"Let us men go out for a spot of fun until your bedtime." He tickled his chest causing Joshua to burst out giggling.

Celia's heart was elated at the bonding that was occurring between father and son. She decided to sit on the stoop and await their return.

<<<<<<<<< 

Joshua rested comfortably on his father's lap, talking and pointing when he observed something interested outside. Celia must have a difficult time getting you to bed.

They stopped off at Milner's Grocery where Lawrence went inside to purchase shaved ice and syrup along with a spoon - Jonathan didn't want Joshua getting dirty. Joshua enjoyed the treat immensely but sometimes behaved unruly believing that he was old enough to take care of himself - typical two year olds Jonathan laughed. He held these memories close to his heart but regretted the ones that were never experienced.

Final stop before taking him home was the Bay's only public park located on the north side of the settlement. Currently occupied by the few young lovers ...the older set preferred their homes or the neighborhood taverns so it was easy for him to find an area where they wouldn't be disturbed.

Immediately the sight of fireflies flying around captured Joshua's imagination. He raced around trying to catch one. Jonathan caught one in his palms and allowed him to hold on to it before it flew away.

"It gone...," Joshua said surprised.

"Don't worry I have another surprise."

It was a zoetrope - a toy that seemed to make pictures move. Upon spinning the drum Joshua laughed, clapping his hands. When the movement stopped he became so disappointed that Jonathan had to spin it over and over again until he finally fell asleep in his arms.

"I hope Celia isn't going to be too upset when we return," he muttered, cradling him in his arms. "I love you so much Joshua as I love your mother."

<<<<<<<<< 

When they returned he found Celia huddled against the doorframe stifling a yawn.

"Forgive me Celia we were having so much fun..."

"No matter...it looks like you two had a great time."

"We did indeed have a great time. Thank you," he said with grateful eyes.

"As his father you should spend time with him."

He carefully placed him in her arms. "Good night my little boy," he said stroking his hair. "Good night my love..." He caressed her cheek, eyes relaying unspoken feelings. Reluctantly he turned and walked away.

"Home Mr. Lawrence..."

"Yes sir." Lawrence tipped his hat to Celia who waved goodbye.

<<<<<<<<< 

She stood silently watching the carriage leave. Everyday Joseph was slowly slipping away from her conscious. No she couldn't have it both ways and she was starting to realize where and with whom she truly wanted to be.

When she came inside she found Lydia lying down in the settee staring at her with contemptuous eyes. Celia walked past unmoved.

<<<<<<<<< 

As the evening progressed Jonathan sat in his study...thinking. Tomorrow he had something very important to take care of.

"Dr. Campbell, are you in there?"

"Come in Mrs. Annabelle. It must be very important for you to seek me out this late."

She found him sitting at the edge of his desk. "I would have spoken to you earlier but they told me that you went out."

Jonathan noticed her unhappy features. "What's wrong Mrs. Annabelle?"

"If your wife is to remain in your life...I can no longer work for you. She treats the servants horribly and never utters a word of greeting. Everyday she harps on our shortcomings and I won't take it anymore. I understand that she is your wife but I should be respected as well. Jonathan you are like a son to me but..."

"Mrs. Annabelle I assure you that by the end of the week Amy will no longer be a problem."

Her big speech wasn't necessary. "I hope you are divorcing her," she said casually. Jonathan laughed, giving her a warm hug. "Does this also mean that you are clearing the way for Ms. Celia? Remember she's married with a baby."

"I haven't told you this but Joshua is my son."

Annabelle smacked his arm. "No...My Lord! Someone is going to get hurt."

"Joseph has my family. I can't and won't lose them again."

"Jonathan, Celia has a say in all of this. Her life will be affected more so than yours."

"She's asked me to be patient and that's what I'm doing," he said in a low voice.

"Reluctantly I suppose," she said with a smile. Jonathan turned away then he felt Annabelle's comforting hands on his shoulders. "Over the years I've seen the sadness in your eyes. I can never begin to understand your pain. You know something..."

"What?" he asked softly.

"You might have lost her physically but emotionally she has always been a part of you. I know she feels the same way about you. If it's meant to be then it shall be. Don't stay up too late...worrying." She moved away.

"I won't stay up too late." He heard the door close. "Always has been. Always will be..."

<<<<<<<<< 

The next day...

By mid-morning the house was quiet. Celia found that she and Henderson were the only ones remaining in the house. Annabelle and Sonia had gone to the marketplace. Jonathan needed to go and take care of some urgent business. Amy, Clara, and their entourage went out as well. It felt great working in relative peace and quiet. She didn't know how long she could enjoy this feeling.

<<<<<<<<< 

Clara entered Sara's establishment feeling a bit out of place. The interior had changed - now supplying the latest in women's fashions. Gregory wasn't anywhere around only Sara and two shop assistants.

Sara looked up from behind her counter. Who could it be but Clara? Amy sending one of her minions on a mission... What could this be about now?

"Are you sure you didn't take a wrong turn. You are definitely in the wrong place being that you are that troll's friend." Her eyes slanted.

Clara took the remark in stride. "I assure you that I'm in the correct place although things had changed remarkably."

"One has to progress. So tell me why are you here?" she asked bluntly.

"May we speak privately?"

"It all depends on the nature of your visit."

"I have a concern regarding Dr. Campbell."

Now that is really interesting. She told one of her assistants to manage the shop while she led Clara to the back storeroom. This was business certainly not pleasure otherwise she would have been taken to her parlor for tea and refreshments.

"Speak..." She parked herself in a chair leaving Clara to stand.

Clara went straight to the heart of the matter. "I was wondering about Jonathan's past relationship with his housemaid Celia."

Celia...Her mind became flooded with past memories especially that ill-fated evening. After all this time the castoff had found a way to reenter Jonathan's life with him allowing it of course.

"Is that all? I've found that you've wasted my time with this nonsense."

"So you do know of this maid?" she persisted.

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I fear that this maid may have something on Dr. Campbell that may cause him great harm. He is behaving strangely...unlike the Jonathan I've come to know."

What a weak explanation. She could have thought of something much better. Amy is turning out to be a feebleminded adversary. On second thought Sara decided to humor herself.

"Celia was once employed at the Campbell estate before being dismissed for her lack of decorum - exposing the family's affairs." Clara eyed her curiously. "My goodness Clara, don't be so naïve. How do you believe our men gain their sexual prowess? Only by means of self-gratification," she laughed. "Remember we white women are expected to be virtuous until the marriage bed. Well most of us are. There are always a few exceptions to every rule. I pray you are the latter...Clara." Was she threatening her?

"I promise you that I've never slept with any man."

"Mr. John Baker is a very good man with a prominent business. You don't want a nasty rumor to be going around about his intended bride-to-be."

"Are you threatening me?" she asked a bit fearful.

Sara barely blinked. "I'm saying that you should be careful about your friends. In the end they may take you down with them." Seeing Clara's shocked expression made her laugh wickedly. Clara heeded the warning and left immediately.

Clara was her least concern but it felt great to put fear in someone's heart again. "What to do about Mrs. Amy Campbell? Expecting that I could be used to get back in Jonathan's good graces..."

How should Amy be dealt with? A simple note from a concerned witness informing Jonathan of Amy exposing their business publicly would be sent off promptly. Details included of course.

As for the black whore Celia...She had to admit that Celia has always been her true adversary. For Jonathan to be so in love with a black housemaid - the thought made her want to vomit but Jonathan's little plaything wasn't worth her best efforts.

"Upon his return Mr. Campbell will deal with her..."        

Her real dispute was with Amy who took away the man she was going to marry. She deserved everything she was going to get. If she could only be present when Jonathan threw her out of the house with Amy pleading for him to take her back... Ah you can't have it all.