“That’s all I ever wanted,” she said in a small voice.

He massaged her hands and stared loving into her eyes. “Ask more of me and I’ll give it to you.”

“There is nothing more to ask. You have helped me a great deal.”

Their speaking in such soft tones brought back horrifying memories.

“Can you ever forgive me?” he quietly enquired.

Celia blinked her eyes. “What are you to be forgiven for?”

“For letting the woman I love go…”

She pulled her hands away and stood saying, “I’m too tired to talk about this anymore. It’s time for me to leave.”

“Please forgive me for overstepping. My lunch break isn’t quite finished and I’ve enjoyed your presence.”

Admittedly she had enjoyed his as well. “Very well I’ll stay.”

The conversation continued.

“It hasn’t been too much work for you.”

A wry smile formed on her lips. “Haven’t you asked me this question before? You want to give me a salary for doing nothing.”

“Possibly…”

“And what of Sonia she wouldn’t take that too kindly.”

“She doesn’t need to know unless you tell her.”

“Seeing that we are good friends I think I would tell her.”

He laughed heartily. “Let me help you with a carriage ride home. The least I can do for bringing me lunch.”

Celia was surprised. “You’re sending me home for the rest of the day?”

“Why not? You deserve it.”

“Jonathan you should take me to your residence.”

“How many miles did you walk today?” he asked serious.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “but I assure you that I’ll be able to continue on with my work.”

“You have two choices…either I take you home or you remain here.”

“Stay here?” That certainly wouldn’t do. “And do what?”

“Lie down. There is a small bed in the adjoining room.”

“No…Jonathan I haven’t started on the other rooms. Precious time has already been lost.”

“I thought you were enjoying our time together.”

“I am but…”

“Stay here or go home,” he repeated.

“It seems I don’t have another choice,” she sighed.

“Well I am your employer.” Jonathan tilted his head. “What does Ms. Celia prefer?”

“I’ll remain here.”

Walking in front of her he grinned fully aware that she was very sore about the decision.

He led her to a room containing a bed and a wooden table. Lace curtains covered the one two open windows.

“What am I expected to do?”

Defiant behavior but if she was going down that road then…”Sit on the bed, unlace your shoes and lie down. I’m going downstairs.”

“You’re leaving me here...alone?”

“No one will disturb you in this room. Besides I haven’t seen a ghost as yet,” he winked but Celia laughed nervously. “Don’t tell me that you believe those ghost stories.”

“Of course not,” she responded confidently.

“Alright then…relax.” He touched her shoulder then strolled away.

Luckily a slight breeze was blowing and she did exactly as Jonathan requested. By the time her head crashed into the pillow she was sound asleep.

Center of Town… 

The Café  

Amy’s lunch with Ana and her sister Clara had just concluded – cucumber sandwiches, scones, sweet tarts and tea.

“The Edward’s dinner party is finally here. Isn’t it so exciting,” Clara gushed, “Mrs. Edward has chosen me to play a piano solo.”

“As well Mrs. Edwards has asked me to join her ladies’ circle…,” Ana said. Amy sneered. “Such a pity that you haven’t taken up embroidery. It would increase your social standing greatly.”

Clara had become her sort of friend and she considered Ana a mere bug that should be squished under her shoe.

“A physician’s wife doesn’t need to be carrying on in such social circles. They are quite dull. I already have status,” she replied sipping her tea.

“Gained on the back of your poor husband,” Ana muttered to herself.

“Pardon me…”

“Ladies it serves no purpose whatsoever to argue over foolish matters. Let’s gossip about the possible guests.”

“Let’s,” Amy responded dismissing Ana with a quick turn of the head. “I believe Addison may be coming along with your admirer Thomas…”

“Why do you always remind me of that laggard? Amongst Jonathan’s friends he’s the least impressive.”

“You shouldn’t be so judgmental Clara. You have so many suitors and you haven’t made your choice. Maybe Thomas believes that he still has an opportunity to gain your affections.”

“Of course Ana is perfectly correct. I need to make a decision fairly soon.”

“Clara you should start doing away with the weaker elements and don’t forget what counts for status...”

“Money and property...We should also include attractiveness.”

“You’re so right. Who could bear the sight of a hideous creature standing at your side.”

“There should be room for love,” Ana offered.

Ana needed advice. “You must also secure your future. Love is only for a while. When your body becomes old and frail is your husband going to comfort you and be there till death. No…he’ll find himself a young vixen to warm his bed. Learn Ana and you’ll be greater for such knowledge.”

One person she didn’t want teaching her anything.

Campbell’s Residence… 

“It no right that Ms. Amy send Celia out like that,” Sonia complained, “Celia must have done something to upset her but I can’t think what that could be. Celia just go bout her work and no bother nobody.”

“Humph…” Annabelle mulled it over.

Sonia raised her arms. “That Ms. Amy no correct in the head. She want control over everything…everybody. I tell you Dr. Campbell better watch himself.”

“Dr. Campbell can handle himself better than you think. Ms. Amy is the one that need to watch herself.” especially with Celia around…

<<<<<<<<< 

Celia moved her head from side to side, yawned and her eyes popped opened. For a moment she couldn’t recall where she was and then she caught sight of Jonathan.

“How long have you been sitting there?”

“Not long…”

“What are you doing?”

“Guess…”

Sketching… right foot propped against the left with a sketchbook on his lap fingers moving swiftly across the page.

“Surprised?”

“I am. I thought…”

“Marriage, work…who has the time…but once I have a muse I make the time.”

“May I ask what or whom you are sketching?”

“You. Are you offended?” he asked with a smile. How long had she been asleep? “An hour and a half...”

“I didn’t ask,” she said nonchalantly rising from the bed.

“You thought it therefore I answered.”

“Now you can read minds.”

“Yours for the time being...”

“May I see it…”

“It’s not finished.” He quickly took it from view.

“Jonathan let me see…please.”

“Be patient…I’ll show it to you when I’m finished.”

Celia feigned tearful disappointment and turned away. “Why are you being so cruel?”

“If you want to see it so much…then…”  Celia swirled around happily. “Then you’ll have to catch me first.”

“You are cruel as I supposed.”

An exciting chase ensued until a tired Celia collapsed unto the bed breathless.

“That was very enjoyable,” he said. He placed the pad on the small table then fell into the bed beside her.

“I almost forgot how tired I am.”

“Still…So I was right all along.”

He seized the opportunity to caress her cheek. Celia didn’t resist the gesture but simply lowered her eyelids feeling the weight of his palm against her skin. Sleep was threatening to overtake her once more.

“Mrs. Benington would consider our behavior very childish,” she said yawning.

“Mrs. Benington wouldn’t know amusement if it bit her in the rear end.”

“Hmmm…” Celia shifted over to his side. Jonathan snuggled her closer – his right arm looped across her chest.

Right where he wanted her to be – secure in his arms…even if she belonged to someone else.

“Celia, do you trust that I can be here for you?”

“Hmm…” her eyes opened slightly.

“Lia…Do you believe in me?”

She whispered, “I believe in you.”

He gave her a gentle kiss but refrained from taking it any further. She moaned softly against his lips before descending into quiet slumber.

Surely he had broken both a marriage vow and one of the Ten Commandments but that small kiss ignited an extinguished flame. All thoughts drifted to reviving their love affair but it wasn’t possible. Life and too many years had passed them by.

It isn’t possible…he mentally recited over and over again. It isn’t possible…damnit but why doesn’t my love for her die? Why?! 

It hurt greatly to desire someone that was emotional lost to you. 

“Dr. Campbell, are you in here?” A voice inquired from the outside...

“Yes I’ll be out shortly.” Rising from the bed he made sure not to disturb her sleep. 

Jonathan sighed. Dr. Lake’s small favor to him had run its course. He almost forgot the sketchpad on the desk.

“Can’t leave you behind…”

Campbell’s Residence… 

“You… cease from your duties and go clean the house at once,” Amy commanded.

She and Beatrice had just entered the kitchen.

“Me?” Sonia questioned. The evening’s unprepared repast was spread across the kitchen table.

“Yes I’m speaking to you! The housemaid hasn’t returned as yet and the house needs a cleaning. You do know how to clean a house?”

“Yes ma’am but…”

“Annabelle can take care of the cooking by herself. It doesn’t take much to prepare a meal.” Then you do it witch. “Go on and clean the house instead of standing here looking very foolish.”

“Yes… ma’am.” Sonia needed a breath to soothe her anger. Noisily she grabbed the cleaning articles from the housemaid’s closet.

“Why are you creating such a commotion?!” she asked vexed.

“Forgive me…ma’am,” Sonia responded and strode out of the kitchen.

Amos stood outside at his mistress beckoning – a life he had grown accustomed to over the years. He never saw much beyond doing it for the rest of his days.

“Ms. Sonia…”

“What is it Amos?”

“Wondering how you are?”

“Ask me how I am later on but not right now.”

  <<<<<<<<<  

“Beatrice come along my hair needs to be styled. Everything must be perfect for this evening.”

“That foolish housemaid must have gotten herself lost or trampled by an oncoming carriage. Whichever it is I hope never to see her common face again.” Annabelle glanced at Amy and shook her head in disgust. “No matter we can always hire a new one. Beatrice make the curls tighter you silly girl. Must I tell you everything?!”

Annabelle felt that Amy’s behavior had gotten progressively worst as the years went on and her treatment of the servants was inexcusable. Many maids had left the household due to her horrid behavior. Jonathan had often turned a blind eye choosing instead to be non-confrontational...hiring new staff. She had kept silent for far too long and the situation needed to be explained to him in greater detail or she may have to find work elsewhere.

Her Majesty’s Infirmary…

Who are you looking for? Jonathan… where is he?

Mr. Campbell, what…what are you doing here? 

What am I doing here? The question should be what are you doing here.  Didn’t I tell you to stay away from my son! 

He’s a grown man that can make his own decisions. He doesn’t need you lording over him! 

So now you are willing to speak on my son’s behalf. You’re not frightened. 

I was never frightened of you. 

I should laugh at your feeble attempt at bravery but I am more interested in your secret.. 

What secret?! 

Come…come Celia you’re a smart woman. I’ll give you that at least.  Joshua is my grandson. Surprised that I know your little secret. 

Nothing you do or say surprises me Joshua has a father! 

Jonathan is his father witch! I warned you Jonathan about her character. Now you have heard it for yourself. 

Why Celia? Why did you keep my son away from me?

Jonathan…it was all I could do. 

I thought you loved me. Didn’t that love create our precious son? 

The situation was impossible and I did what I needed to do. Jonathan… 

Walk away Jonathan she can never defend her actions.  

Jonathan please I can explain…I can explain… 

You liar! You’re dead to me Celia…DEAD! 

I have my son and I will be coming for my grandson shortly...hahahaha… 

No…No…No…  

no…no…no…no… 

“Celia, wake up…”

“Huh! Jonathan…” She clung to him tightly. “Oh Jonathan I had such a horrible dream.”

“It explains why you were talking in your sleep.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “What…what was I saying?”

“Didn’t understand what you were saying. It’s over now.”

If he only knew that it wasn’t over for her. She started to waver on the decision to keep Joshua a secret. Was it fair to Joshua not to know his true father? 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes…” She took note of his changed features. “Is something wrong Jonathan?”

“There’s nothing wrong. Come on let’s get you up. My duties are completed. May I take you home now?”

“No you should take me back to your home.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to discuss something very important with Ms. Annabelle...”

“I see…”

<<<<<<<<<  

The fading rays of the sun carried them on the journey home. Sitting side by side Jonathan stayed quiet and it troubled Celia a great deal.

“What are you thinking about?” her eyes gazed downwards.

“I’m considering giving you a day off.”

Two reasons…after what occurred she deserved a day and secondly he needed one day to regain his mental fortitude – something was persistently nagging at him and it needed careful thought.

“Jonathan I assure you that I’m not a feeble woman.”

“Celia I’m not accusing you of being feeble,” he replied. Celia was never someone to pretend weakness and he admired her for it.

“Because I’m perfectly capable of performing my duties... My tiredness was due to the heat and the wearisome journey.”

“You react as if I’m going to dismiss you. What’s going on?”

“Nothing…,” she ended abruptly.

“I guess we’ll hear no more of this then.”

Perhaps an awkward back and forth but the level of comfort had changed between them. Neither would say it out loud but it had already commenced.

 <<<<<<<<<  

After descending from the carriage he asked her to remain while he struck up an in-depth conversation with Henderson at the far end of the verandah. It lasted around twenty minutes and having been satisfied they all entered the hallway.

“My husband Jonathan and the missing housemaid...”

“Amy I need to have a word with you…privately,” he said removing his gloves and handed them to Henderson.

“Forgive me my love but I’m still preparing for the Edwards dinner party,” she said calmly. “I’m surprised that you have come home early. Have you changed your mind about going?”

“I don’t care about the stupid party!” He yelled banging his fist against the wall. “You and I need to have a word…now!”

Amy shocked expression prevented her from uttering another word. Quickly she flipped her curls and hurried off to the parlor… Jonathan followed. Sonia who was cleaning at the time was immediately removed. Celia stood in the hallway unmoved reflecting on her own concerns.

“Celia, me think you hurt or something. Ms. Amy has no heart.”

“Dr. Campbell took care of me and brought me back.”

“That good. I guess opposites attract because those two are complete opposites.”

“What wrong with you?”

Best thing to do was leave. “Give this to Ms. Annabelle and tell Dr. Campbell I went home. He won’t see me till Friday.”

“Alright.”

 <<<<<<<<<  

“Was it necessary to embarrass me in front of the servants?”

“Shut up Amy and sit the hell down!”

She sat down on the settee unsure Jonathan’s rage. “Jonathan, why are you in such a dark mood?” her voice trembled.

He shook his head “A dark mood she says. Your cruelty knows no bounds sending that poor girl on that tiresome journey.”

“Celia managed the journey well. I see that you brought her back none the worse.”

“Always a nice… roundabout explanation from the lovely Mrs. Campbell...”

“What is the meaning of this?!”

“How many times have I dismissed others observation of you…”

He paced from one end of the floor to the other barely looking at her directly. One hand massaged his forehead while the other was firmly attached to his hip.

“What have others been saying about me? Do you now believe their words? It’s all lies!” she yelled standing rushing to him. “I love you Jonathan.”

Indeed he was willing to make their marriage work even though it was a complete fallacy. He proposed and didn’t she deserve a husband who could give her whatever she desired. Why? Because he was unable to give her that part of himself that belonged to someone else… 

“I don’t want to hear a single word of love out of your mouth.”

“But I do…” She tried to hold his hand but he snatched it away.

His eyes caught sight of the refilled sherry bottle sitting atop the center .

“Love doesn’t set about poisoning one’s husband.”

She recoiled at his words. “Poison?”

“Are you daft?! There was some type of drug in that sherry last night. Foolish of me not see through your motives.”

“Jonathan, there was no poison in your sherry…,” came her tearful response.

“All morning it nagged at me and there were no answers. Why would I forget making love to you? Why was it so hard for me to recollect some of the evening’s events?”

“Jonathan there was no poison,” she repeated, “why don’t you believe me?”

“Then what was it!” Gripped by fear she was unable to respond.

“Earlier you had complained that Henderson wasn’t there to assist me therefore I asked Henderson if he saw you downstairs after he had closed the main doors. His response was yes. Then I asked if you had requested any assistance from him at the time. His response was no. He waited for your return but still you chose to bring the sherry and the two glasses upstairs…alone. I find that very strange for a woman who has two servants at her beckoning,” he growled.

“Because you have no memory of last night immediately I’m being accused of trying to do away with you.” Her defiant stance had returned. “I reiterate that I didn’t see Henderson.”

“I say that you pretended not to see him believing I wouldn’t question your narrative. Servants are mainly seen and not heard. Henderson is never one to participate in idle gossip.”

“You choose to believe him over your wife!”

“I choose to see the truth!”

“Your truth! How about seeing the real truth!”

“What was in my drink? Answer me!” He yelled gripping her shoulders.

Amy struggled. “Jonathan please, you’re hurting me!”

“I’m sending you away to Cousin Rosemary until I’ve made a decision about our future together.” Jonathan pushed her aside.

“NOoooo…”

“Go to your silly party but by tomorrow you’ll be gone.”

“Please…,” she groveled. “I’ll do anything…anything…”

“Amy you shouldn’t beg. It shows bad form.”

Monday evening’s words thrown back at her… Amy steadied her nerve understanding that his mind wouldn’t or couldn’t be changed. “How long must I stay away?”

“I’ll send word when you should return.”

“So I must be carried off to some desolated area until you send for me!”

“Does it look I give a damn!” He yelled walking away.

“You have never cared about me you bastard!”

Amy hurled a vase at the slamming door.

 <<<<<<<<<  

“Ah.” He took a short breath. “Ms. Beatrice! Ms. Beatrice!”

Beatrice came running down the staircase. “Yes Dr. Campbell.”

You bastard! Come back here we are not finished! I love you! 

“Please see to your mistress and afterwards start packing for a journey. Mrs. Campbell is going to stay at Cousin Rosemary’s for a time.”

“Yes Dr. Campbell.”

A nervous Sonia announced, “Dr. Campbell Ms. Celia has left and won’t return until Friday,”

“Celia’s gone? Damnit!”

“Do you need anything else?”

“You may return to the kitchen.”

Henderson stood aside awaiting instruction.

“Henderson my gloves… I’m going for a short drive to settle my mood.”

“Very well sir.”

 <<<<<<<<<<  

Relief set in when he saw Celia leaning against the porch.

“Sonia told me you left.”

“It’s been a hard day and I’ve decided against walking any further. Kind sir I’m in need of a good carriage driver to take me home. Do you know of anyone?”

He jokingly looked around. “It seems that I’m the only one available. May I be of some assistance my good lady,” he grinned.

Celia patted her chin lightly. “Hmmm…I don’t know. Are you qualified to take on such a task?”

Extending his right palm he said, “Trust me. I’ll take good care of you,” he whispered in that voice that sent shivers throughout her body.

She recovered enough to say, “I trust you.” …and accepted his hand.

The good humor was a way to measure his temperament. In her heart she couldn’t leave given the turbulent mood – that’s why she had stayed…to be his shoulder to lean on if he needed her.

He needs me.