It was a dreary Monday morning and the first rays of sunlight started to peak over the distant horizon. The dissipating fog lingered alongside the water’s edge blurring the visibility of the lighters and skiffs that awaited both human and cargo to be ferried off to the ships that lay beyond the harbor.

Celia walked slowly behind her husband carrying their precious bundle snuggled in his small blanket. Joseph, desiring to improve their situation had found employment as a fireman onboard a ship called ‘The Atlantic’. He would be away for the next three weeks and Celia would be collecting half his remuneration at the registry office during that time.

They reached the Bay’s harbor strategically located by the Courthouse Wharf. The docks were abuzz with activity; vessels being loaded, crewmen shouting across to one another and other couples saying their goodbyes.

“You shouldn’t have brought him down here. He still the sleep,” Joseph said gliding his hand across the blanket.

“Whether asleep or wake he need to see his father off.”

The anguish in her eyes made him want to stay but he knew he couldn’t stay behind. Working in the mahogany camps wasn’t very appealing and he was grateful when this opportunity came along. “Celia I have to go. It the only way I can make better for all the family. I soon come back.”

“And then you go again,” she added.

He gazed closely at his young family once more and observed Joshua’s head shifting from side to side before finding a suitable resting spot on his mother’s shoulder. Even though he wasn’t Joshua’s natural father he had watched him grow inside of Celia and was present on the day of his birth. He was the only father that little boy ever knew. And Celia… she was the love of his life even if her love for him wasn’t the same as his was for her.

“We have to work to survive this life and keep everything together. Before you know it I’ll be back home.”

“We’ll be counting the days then.”

“Take care of home and our son,” he managed a small smile and caressed her cheek.

“I’ll do the best I can and you take care of yourself.” She gave him a hug and kissed him.

All Abroad!  

After adjusting his collar and smoothing out his coat’s lapels she looked into his eyes and said, “Goodbye Joseph.”

“Goodbye Celia…Joshua…”

She clutched her shawl and held Joshua tightly as she watched Joseph boarding the skiff. He turned around briefly and waved at her; she waved back. The man who had come to her rescue so long ago was leaving her side once again and it was a feeling she could never fully accept.

Celia could not easily forget that faithful evening when Jonathan’s tyrannical father had forced her from the Campbell estate. He vowed to give her name a black mark amongst potential employers because of the shame she had brought upon his household. Having lost the man she loved, pregnant, alone there was no light in her future until Joseph.

He came to symbolize stability and hope and without him she felt unsure about life. She feared for their family and she feared for him. He was still a black man living in a white world. What perils might befall him while he was away at sea she could only guess. All she could do now was pray for his safe return.

“Your father gone now it time for us to go home. I need to get ready for work.”

And where was home? On the south side of the Bay where most blacks who didn’t dwell with their employers lived in two bedroom shacks in a place called ‘Eboe Town’. The community was sizable but it was mostly populated by old men, women and children when the men were away at camp. Celia and her family lived with her mother Ms. Abigail, two sisters Hortense and Lydia and Lydia’s two children. Three older brothers had left the settlement many years ago and had never returned.

Campbell’s Residence…  

“Good morning husband.”

“I wish I were having a good morning as you are my dear wife,” he replied slightly annoyed.

Amy responded with a wry smile. Last evening she had stayed out beyond respectable hours and never offered her husband an explanation as to why. Jonathan hardly pressed the issue in great length. This hadn’t been the first occurrence and from time to time he would give out subtle reminders of her wifely responsibilities which naturally she ignored.

Indubitably married life was starting to become quite a burden for Mrs. Campbell. Unlike herself Jonathan preferred to remain at home, read his medical texts or sit in the quiet comfort of his study drinking pale ale or brandy. The periods he did venture out was spent in the company of his male compatriots at the ‘Baymen Gentlemen’s Club’.

Amy was still young, attractive and received many invitations to the Bay’s countless afternoon tea and dinner parties and she often attended those without her husband accompaniment. A behavior certainly frowned upon by Victorian society. Blacks would immediately say that he was bewitched while others would say that he didn’t know how to keep his household in line. Jonathan felt that he was performing some sort of penance for his past misjudgments.

Adorned in her light blue day dress and wearing a lacy linen cap Amy seated herself at the breakfast table. A cup of tea and a bowl of fresh fruits awaited her – madam was watching her figure.

“The Edwards are having a dinner party Wednesday evening and they have sent us an invitation,” she said as she unfolded her napkin.

“Another invitation,” he pondered, “you do realize that on Wednesdays I volunteer at the Bay’s infirmary and will be very tired when I return home.”

“I understand completely but you most also be fully aware that one does not turn down an invitation from the Edwards, a most influential family in the Bay.”

“Influential they may be but not my sort of dinner companions. I do not seek a seat on the Legislator. I only seek to provide the best care for my patients.”

“Did I ever say that your work wasn’t admirable? My objections lies in the fact that you have decided to stay at home rather frequently. You are a great storyteller and yet you diminish your talent,” she said stirring her cup.

“The dinner parties have become very tiresome. We should be concentrating on settling down and starting our own family.”

“How many times most I tell you that I’m not ready to have a baby in this forsaken colony.”

Every time she uttered those words he felt a pain in his heart. “Tell me Amy…Am I the cause of your unhappiness?” he asked serious.

“Jonathan, don’t be silly,” she responded changing her mannerisms, “I love you. We are just at different stages in our lives. I’m still young as are you but I believe that we should live our lives to the fullest. A child would certainly be an impediment.”

Condoms were always on hand during their intimate moments and so far it had been very effective. Just in case Amy had her Plan B – there were always ways of getting rid of unwanted things.

“You chose to marry me and dwell in the Bay and yet you are choosing not to have my child. I’m unable to understand your conclusion.”

“There are many risks involved but this type of conversation isn’t for the breakfast table… my dear. Maybe we can speak about it later.” Jonathan sighed the way he always did when Amy ended their serious discussions matter-of-factly.

“By the way I need a new evening dress for the dinner party and also a new pair of shoes, a pair of gloves and handbag to match.”

Jonathan searched his breast pocket for the correct denominations to give to her. Being satisfied she kissed him on the cheek and excused herself. Amy would be gone for the rest of the day and that was alright because she hardly participated in the day to day affairs of his household. To his dismay he shouldered that burden as well.

He was left alone in his thoughts and now that Celia would be working for him his mind drifted back on fond memories – her laughter, those passion-filled, dark brown irises playing upon his heart. Their emotional bond that he felt could never be broken…but it was.

You were such a fool!  

“I was a coward.”

Drake was certainly able to show more courage than he ever could. Every time Drake wrote him he felt a tinge of envy – his successful business and home life and here he was…completely miserable. Since his departure everything had changed for him. His sweet Amy had become dismissive of his needs and now Celia was returning.

“Celia…I say your name and...”

He heard footsteps coming towards him. It was his cook coming to clear away the table. Ms. Annabelle was a buxom woman of 50 with a pleasant smile. She had worked at the Campbell’s estate for many years as the head cook but had wanted a change. Jonathan offered her the job which she accepted much to his father’s consternation.

“Are you quite finished sir?”

“Yes Mrs. Annabelle,” he replied somberly. Annabelle wasn’t married but the title Mrs. acknowledged her high position within the household.

“What would you prefer for lunch today?”

“A bowl of soup with some bread or maybe I’ll have lunch at the club.”

During his free time he usually went to the ‘club’ to take his mind off his marital woes. Ms. Annabelle would prepare the soup regardless. She couldn’t wait for Sonia to arrive so that they could go off to the market.

“What your father did to Celia was very cruel and I’m so glad that you gave the vacant positions to her and Sonia. I only ask that you do me one favor.”

“Which is?”

“We both know what has passed between you and Ms. Celia. She is a married woman and I want you to offer her that respect.”

Jonathan felt caught off guard by the comment. He rose from the table and proceeded to walk away.

“Is that such a harsh request Jonathan?”

“I’ve given her the employment that you suggested and of course I’ll respect her marriage.”

“And what about her…”

“I’ve had enough of this conversation!” he cut her off and then calmed himself. “Please inform Henderson that I’ll be in my study.”

“Yes Dr. Campbell.”

 <<<<<<<<<  

A couple of days ago Celia and her good friend Sonia had interviewed for domestic positions at Jonathan’s residence. The encounter was brief mainly because her appearance confused him a great deal and he was unable to speak at length. She too felt strange being around him. He had certainly changed from last she remembered. Gone were his long, dark locks and although it was still handsome his face seemed preoccupied with many burdens. She wondered if she had made a wise decision but pride and that emotional stirring that she felt had to be set aside for the sake of living.

Immediately they were hired – Celia to be a housemaid and Sonia to be a kitchen assistant. He requested that they return promptly at 7:30 a.m. Monday morning to begin their duties thereafter they were expected to report to work at 6:00 a.m. Working hours would be 6:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. Mondays to Saturdays with Sunday being their day off.

Now that the day had actually arrived the decision weighed heavily on her mind and she sat thoughtfully eating away at her bowl of cold corn porridge. Joshua lied sleeping in the adjacent room while Lydia’s children played a game of tag in the backyard.

 “You serious bout going to work for Dr. Campbell?” Lydia enquired.

Celia paused staring at both her mother and sister standing before her like moral authorities.

.

“She serious cause she dressed to go,” her mother replied.

“We need the money. You pregnant had to stop work. Mama can’t work long hours. While Joseph away I will only receive half his pay and then add in Hortense money and maybe we can make it with all these kids.”

“I know she the blame me mama for getting pregnant again but I never know it would make me feel so bad.”

“I no blame nobody. I have to do what I have to do. Mr. Campbell made sure that I couldn’t find work anywhere.”

“Even after all these years?” Lydia looked at her suspiciously.

“Word get round and people believe something that isn’t true.”

“It still no right since you doing it behind Joseph back,” Ms. Abigail admonished.

“Mama Joseph know I going to work.”

“He don’t know that it is with Dr. Campbell.”

“I tell him when he gets back.”

“If you don’t tell him he’ll find out anyway,” Lydia said.

“I still no understand how it easier to find work at his house.”

“Because Jonathan is nothing like his father,” she insisted.

“That man turn his back on you and Joshua. I wouldn’t even want to see a man like that again for the rest of me life.”

 “At the time Jonathan couldn’t help me but now he can. Besides it all in the past and Joshua and I still alive.”

“Thanks to your husband Joseph. I think Jonathan will ask bout Joshua,” Ms. Abigail said.

“He can’t ask bout something he really know nothing bout!”

Celia! Celia!  Sonia yelled outside.

“Old fire stick easy to catch. Mind Celia,” Lydia said half-jokingly.

Celia ignored her comment and quickly went to her room to retrieve her bonnet and kiss Joshua goodbye.

“I think she still have feeling for that man.”

“I think so too but I hope people no get hurt in the end.”

 <<<<<<<<<  

“My precious little boy…every time I look at you I see your father. Yet I don’t want to betray the man that has always been a father to you. What to do?”

“Celia!”

A final kiss on his forehead then she departed.

Celia and Sonia walked briskly past row after row of similar wooden houses, unto another dirt road and then another. They barely spoke with each other mainly due to Celia’s sudden quiet disposition. Finally they reached the wooden bridge that connected the south side to the north side of the colony. Across the bridge the landscape changed dramatically – beautiful colonial residences surrounded by well-kept gardens and a peaceful ambience with birds chirping in the trees.  

“Maybe this no a good idea,” Celia wavered as they walked along.       

“Why because Dr. Campbell know you.”

“No…,” she corrected.

“Celia you can’t stay home forever. We both need to work and take care of our family.”

“Well here we are.” Celia hesitated and stopped by the gate.

“I’ll go knock on the door. You can come behind…if you want,” said Sonia unhappily.

Celia couldn’t understand her fear about seeing Jonathan. Hadn’t she seen him just a couple of days ago. Maybe the reality of being this close to him everyday was affecting her resolve. It also brought to bear that there were still some underlying hurts that had never really healed. In the meantime she stood by as Sonia knocked at the door and spoke to the butler – a tall imposing figure probably in his mid to late 40s with a countenance that commanded respect.

Sonia motioned for her to come along which she did reluctantly.

They walked along the foyer past the stairs until they came to a rear door. After the butler knocked and announced their arrival they heard a voice from the other side granting them entrance. Mr. Henderson allowed them to enter before taking his leave.

Celia’s eyes circulated the medium space. She understood it to be Jonathan’s study from the number of books and periodicals that encompassed the room.

“Good Morning Dr. Campbell,” they both greeted.

“Good Morning Ms. Sonia…Ms. Celia…”

Jonathan sat behind a huge mahogany desk and stared at her briefly before turning his gaze to an eager Sonia.

Celia felt she could hardly breathe. She saw his lips moving but didn’t hear or understand the words being spoken. It continued like this for the next five minutes until she heard.

“You may proceed to your respective duties,” he ended.

“Celia…Celia…come…”

He let out a huge breath as she exited and muttered, “This isn’t going to work out.”

On the other side Celia thought that she couldn’t go through with it either.

“Celia you look like you see a ghost. You alright?”

“I alright…no worry.”

“I feel so happy that you and me working here.”

Sonia was going on and on and even mentioned that it was strange that they hadn’t seen Dr. Campbell’s wife. Celia thought it was strange as well and wondered why she hadn’t thought about it. They continued to walk until they arrived at the kitchen.

“Good Morning Ms. Annabelle,” they said.

“Good morning. Celia you don’t look so good child. Sit down. I’ll get you a glass of water.”

“I think she sad cause her husband left today.”

Celia took a seat by the table. “Thanks,” she said after she drank about half the glass.

“You feel any better?” Celia nodded her head yes. “Sonia take this basket and go wait for me outside. We are going to market.” Sonia really didn’t want to leave Celia. “Hurry up child.”

<<<<<<<<<  

“I thought I could handle being round him most of the time but now…”

“So your husband gone away on a big ship. How long he be gone for?”

“Three weeks. I should be happy. It better than ten months.”

“Celia you a strong woman. Have some faith…,” Annabelle said as she patted her shoulders before she turned and walked away.

It was time to lift herself out of this momentary depression. She found the broom closet and gathered her cleaning equipment – buckets, broom, mop, rags. It was going to be a long day but as long as her efforts were rewarded she would be satisfied; besides hard work usually deflected the mind.

He was determined to find her and tell her that it was going to be an impossible situation but when he saw her sweeping the hallway he changed his mind. It wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t keep his emotions at bay.

“Have a good day Ms. Celia.”

“I wish a good day to you as well Dr. Campbell,” she responded softly.

He looked on as she returned to her work and knew that the love he had buried was about to rise to the surface.