Author's Chapter Notes:
Meeting Mrs. Mendes...Shout out to Donna Summer! The original disco queen! Love her!
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Brian and I spent the evening together and when his phone came on with the sound of the alarm the message indicator lit up like a Christmas tree.
"I am sure they are all from my mom. She was unavailable, and obviously didn't want me to have a good time...yep, just as I said. And another, and another...Oh here is one from my dad...he said he was on his way...what?"
"Your dad was...Brian, what's wrong?" I asked before he went into a panic. Nothing coherent was coming out his mouth. Next thing I knew I was driving him to Oakwood Hospital and he thought his dad had a heart attack. It wasn't long though before I glued together between his flurry of emotions that Mr. Santi had been admitted and was in emergency surgery.
I dropped Brian off, parked the car in valet, and caught up to him minutes later. The weather was cold, damp, and spring was in hiding for sure. When I got off the elevator, I noticed that everyone was there, JT and Kym, Neil and Celeste, and Greg. I didn't see Liz until I glimpsed down a hallway, and there she was holding and comforting Brian. My goal was to speak briefly to the gang and make way to my Brian. I had not felt that hopeless since first losing my dad and then Robbie nearly two years earlier. My knees went a little wobbly and just as I was making my way past the door of the waiting room, Kym jumped up quickly in front of me.
"Nicole, take a walk with me" she said, ushering me out quickly and in the other direction.
"How bad is it?" I managed to say.
"We are still waiting to hear. But he had another episode."
"Another?"
"Yes, Brian's dad has been struggling with his heart for some time now. And it looks like this attack was really bad. The paramedics had to do an emergency tracheotomy Nicole. Mrs. Santi was a mess. She completely lost it. I have never seen her so upset. You can understand that she is scared and she couldn't get an answer when she tried to reach Brian. I didn't think it was a good idea that she saw you; at least not right now. "
"Oh my god, Oh no!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was thinking about Brian, and how horrible he must have been feeling and poor Mr. Santi. He was such a kind man, with a beautiful spirit. I needed to sit. It was all too much to take in.
"I know you want to be there for Brian sweetie, but I think you should give his mother some space right now, after all this is her husband."
"But, I need to be here for Brian." I proclaimed. "Why does my presence here irritate her so?" I continued.
"Think about Brian then. He is upset about not being there. And, well his mother is really taking a licking to him about ignoring his phone. It's not like him to do that. And if she saw you, she would know that...well. You understand. I just think you should give him some space" she tried to explain.
As if the devil conjured her up, Celeste appeared and threw her two cents in. "Why don't you give the family some space. Better yet, give the family some space," reiterating her statement.
"Celeste!" Kym interrupted.
"No, it is your fault that Brian's mother had to be given a valium and be admitted for exhaustion."
"Exhaustion?" I asked.
"Yes, Nicole, she is resting now. But I don't think any of this is your fault. Brian's dad has had a weak heart, and his mother hasn't been completely kind about you in this situation."
"Yeah, I wonder why?" Celeste continued. "Just leave. No one wants you here."
"Kym, is that how everyone feels; that this is my fault?" I asked.
"Celeste, leave us please...look sweetie, I simply think it would be best, not that I agree, but I am trying to keep this from escalating. Brian is torn up right now and he has his family here. His sister is trying to get a family emergency leave. How about you call him later and check up on him? I will give you an update on his dad as soon as I hear something. Ok."
The last thing I wanted to do was leave. I balled my eyes out in the car. The light rain had erupted into a roaring thunder storm. I was so sick I couldn't even drive. I had to pull over. It was all coming back, all of it. The pain of the past, the feelings of hopelessness, and the new: being pushed out and aside when all I wanted to do was to be a support for Brian. I loved him and it didn't make any sense that Liz was there consoling my man.
I tried to find something to do to occupy my thoughts. But I found myself weeping and desolate, so I decided to call Brian since I hadn't heard from Kym, who promised an update. I didn't get an answer. And that was killing me. I needed to hear his voice and give him some sort of reassurance, something. I just wanted to let him know that I was there for him and so I left that as a message. I tried calling again and grew tired of the voicemail. I was truly having VoiceMail Blues.
I fell asleep crying and woke up to the phone ringing. It was Brian.
"Oh baby, I am so sorry about your dad. How is he?"
"He had to have a triple bypass. He is resting comfortably now. We will be going back down to the hospital after dinner. Nicole my dad had a heart attack on his way to meet us and was in an accident. Thank god he didn't sustain any injuries from the accident."
"Can I do anything for you? I feel terrible about this."
"I was looking for you. I understand you had to leave."
"I...I didn't know what to do or say. I felt hopeless and..."
"Why? This isn't your fault."
"But...if you weren't with me having dinner, your dad..."
"...would have probably still had this heart attack." he interrupted. "So stop blaming yourself, ok."
"So, how is your mom doing?"
"Well, she's doing as well as can be expected. She was very upset with me. She was just scared and couldn't reach me. But she's ok now."
"I know." I said regretfully. "Do you need anything? Do you want me to bring you something to eat?"
"Actually honey, I..."
And before he could finish his sentence the phone dropped.
After several attempts to reconnect the call, I heard a Voice Mail alert. It was Brian apologizing for the call dropping and that he was going to be having dinner at Neil and Celeste's. There was no love lost between me and Celeste. If Brian was there, then the whole crew was together and that included Liz. I was sick with that thought. My stomach was churning and doing flips. Nothing would settle it. I tried a ginger ale. I even tried some soup and saltine crackers. I put on a movie and cried myself to sleep.
Chapter End Notes:
Awe...cheer up Nic. It's going go get better!