I'd like to remind the reader that this is an account from the perspective of Nicole. And although at times you get the first hand account of the actions of others, try to bear in mind that when she's speaking about the intents of Brian, she is interpreting. This isn't Brian's speak. Go easy on him...k!
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Another New Year...
And yes, I had been back in touch with a few friends last year. With promises to keep in touch, time has passed and it's been too long again since we've spoken. I think about them all of the time. I am just not a good friend I guess. I don't do well with the distance thing. Time, a little pain and disappointment have left me cynical. I am grateful for all that has come to me. I cherish the moments that I have. Nothing is promised. You must grab a hold of any morsel of happiness.
The greatest joys of my life, next to Brian, are the two beautiful babies we are growing inside of me. I smile with pride at the wonderful life I have been given. There was once a time that I didn't believe in second chances. God has granted me so much in good health that I thought love would never be possible, again.
Yes I say again, because of Robbie. He wasn't my first boyfriend. But he was surely the only man I thought I would marry and give life with. The cherubic faces I stared down at on the monitor were to be ours, mine and Robbie's. I don't regret the love Brian has given me. He saved me. He loved me passed my pain. The life we share is more than I could have ever dreamed of with Robbie. But when you give your heart to someone, after years of pain and heartbreak, only to lose them to sudden death, another chance at love is unwarranted. You simply check out. But Brian wouldn't have it. God would hear nothing of it. My tears are of joy.
It's true what they say; God opens windows when He closes doors. I have always been told that if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans. These words were spoken by women in love, with husbands, or quite successful in their careers. I am not discounting the women who have all of that!
I guess you could say I was in utter disbelief. But children have a wonderful way of helping you lose yourself in them and their wonder.
Brian, the love of my life is on his way home. In a few hours, Brian and I will spend an evening alone by the fire. I have made his favorite delicacies. Candles are prepped. Calgon has taken me away and brought me back. He has a way of making me feel sexy even though it's been few weeks since I saw my feet. With nothing left to do, but just a few minutes to burst in the glow that is life, I look back and wonder how all of this came to be.