Author's Chapter Notes:
All of my chapter's will be broken up into multiple parts, most of the time just 2. The reason being, I write a lot for one chapter and I don't want to overwhelm the readers.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
` CHAPTER 1 | COOKIE MONSTER | PART 1
- Fall 1984
The night air was light and breezy, the nice jacket weather that coasted over the city before the violent winter came and shut it down. Tensed she sat in the tattered chair that decorated the living room of her one bedroom apartment, head tucked in between her legs, fingers gripping her dark brown locks. Young Tremaine watched in fear as his mothers body began to shake uncontrollably, he couldn't understand why on a cool night like this she seemed so hot and sweaty. Slowly he walked over to her, running his tiny five-year-old hand down her back trying to comfort her light sobs.
"Mama, you okay?" he asked nervously.
"Yeah, baby mommy is fine. Just feeling a little sick." she said forcing a smile in an attempt to reassure her sensitive son.
"You want me to go and get the `tussin?"
Even though she was in pain, that made her smile. It made her flash back to a happier time. The times when her grandmother would nurse her back to health, her favorite remedy being a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a tablespoon of Robitussin every hour on the hour. That was her answer to all of life’s illnesses, if Robitussin couldn't fix it then there just had to be something wrong with you. There was even a time when she had sprained her ankle and her grandmother truly thought that a trip to the hospital was a waste of time because she was sure that "the "tussin would make it all better". She wished this could be fixed with Granny Bee's antidote. She wished that all she had to do was take a spoon full of the thick, dark liquid and all her cravings would vanish and with it all of her withdrawal symptoms. That is what she was experiencing, withdrawal. It was an addiction that caught her off guard. She wasn't ashamed to call herself a pothead, and she knew her way around a bottle of John Daniels. He wasn't Jack to her, when you knew him the way that Faye knew him, you called him John, JD for short. But crack was in an entirely different playing field. When she ate cookies she was lifted in a way she only dreamed weed could do. It made her float and enhanced every feeling that coursed through her body. That it is, until she crashed. Every time she lost her high it felt as though she were forced to live through the worst moments of her life over and over again; in a slow motion replay with ESPN highlights. Mary Jane never did that to her. Even John never hurt her like this, he might smack her around a little bit from time to time, but never did he try to kill her.
Death. That's what it felt like when she needed her fix, like she was dying a slow and painful death. She didn't want to die and she didn't want to hurt. Faye just wanted to feel lifted one more time. She wanted to feel carefree like none of her problems existed. She wanted to feel as though she didn't just receive a final pink slip on her door. That fucking pink slip. The one that told all of her nosey neighbors that she couldn't even afford to pay rent in this dump of an apartment. She wanted to feel as though she had a real job, even though later on that night she would be back to twirling around on that long, shiny, silver pole once more in an attempt to save her home so that her children would have a place to rest their heads. Her children, that’s what the high really made her forget. That high made it easy for her not to hear the loud noises their stomachs made when all she had to feed them was baking soda and leftover ketchup packets. It allowed her to save face because in her world she was the mother of all mothers. They were a family with a house and a husband and a dog. There were no sirens wailing at all different hours of the night. They didn't have to sleep on the floor just in case a stray bullet decided to pay them a visit while they rested. In this world people like her didn't hide from the police because she was an upstanding citizen. When the pigs came driving down her street she would tip her head to them, instead of dropping it, silently praying that she wasn't the target. She had such an elaborate world created that it made coming back to the reality of things that much harder. All she wanted to do was get back to her world. That's what she was always doing. She was always trying to be back. She was always chasing that next fix, the next high, so much that it began to consume her life. She needed her glass dick more than she needed to breathe. In fact, sucking dick was the only way she felt could breathe.
Tremaine watched his mother intently as the questions rolled around in her mind. He didn't understand what was going on, or why his mother seemed on edge all the time. He just knew that he didn't want her to be sick, and she seemed to be getting sick all the time lately. One night while one of his 'uncles' was babysitting him and his little sister, he watched a movie about a girl whose mother was sick all of the time and she died at the end of the movie. He didn't want his mother to die, just the thought made him want to cry. Lightly he continued to rub his mothers back, longing to soothe her, hoping that he would make her feel better. But his efforts didn't work. Faye didn't stop shaking; in fact she only got worse until finally she couldn't take it anymore. Abruptly she got up from the chair, nearly knocking Tre over in the process.
"Ma, where you going?" he asked eyeing her intently.
"I have to go take care of some business Gramps I’ll be back!" she said as she slipped on her shoes and kissed her only son on his forehead. Lightly she ran her fingers through her sleeping daughters’ hair before walking towards the door.
"Lock the door and don't answer it for anyone! You understand?" she asked firmly.
"Yes," he told her before closing and locking the door behind her.
Although he was only five, Tre was used to being left at home by himself. It was his job to look after his younger sister Zoë when his mother had to leave and run her special errands. She never left them for very long, and when she came back she always seemed happier than before so it never really bothered him. But this night was different. Tre waited for what seemed to be hours and his mother never returned. Tired he climbed on the couch with his little sister Zoë, knowing that even though his mother had yet to return, she would definitely be there we he awoke in the morning. But she wasn't. Night turned to day and his mother was still no where to be found. Tre was nervous now because he couldn't remember a time when his mother left them alone all night by themselves. He was young but instinctively he knew something was wrong, yet there was nothing he could do about it.
"Where mama at Tre?" his younger sister questioned as she rubbed her eyes with her pudgy little fingers.
"I'ont know."
"What we gonna eat Tre?"
"I'ont know."
"I'm hungry though."
"Me too. Maybe ma will be back soon Zoë, we just gotta wait for her."
And wait they did. They watched TV and they waited quietly. They waited as their stomachs growled so loud that they were forced to eat dry, stale cereal out of the box. They waited until their favorite Saturday morning cartoons were over. They waited as the day turned into evening, the evening into night. But the two children were forced to spend another night alone because their mother was still missing in action. This scared Tre. He didn't know where his mother was or when she planned to come back. This was too much on the shoulders of a five year old.
A new day arrived and there was still no sign of his mother. Tremaine didn't know what to do, he was hungry and he was scared. He thought about walking across the hall to his neighbors’ house but he didn't want his mother to come back and be angry with him so he decided against it. Before he could think of another idea there was a loud knock on the door. It sounded almost as if someone was trying to bang his front door in. The sound frightened the two children, there could be someone on the other side wanting to hurt them and their mother wasn't here to protect them.
"It's the police! Is anyone in there?" a loud voice said on the other side.
That made Tre feel safer, it was the police it wasn't anyone trying to hurt them. But wait, anytime the police knocked on a door in their neighborhood, somebody was going to jail. That fact made him think twice about opening the door. Tre didn't want to go to jail.
"Tre it’s the police open the door!" Zoë said, pulling on his shirt.
"Shut up Zoë! Mama said not to open the door so we aint gon open it. For nobody!"
"But Tre - "
"Shut up! You gon make them hear us!" he hissed. Maybe if he they pretended that they weren't home the police would go away and leave them alone. But that wasn't the case. When they didn't respond the first time, the officers just continued to pound on the door.
"We know you're in there kids! It's alright open the door!" a woman’s voice said on the other side of the door.
This got Tremaine's attention. The officers knew that they were home; there was no hiding from them like he thought. But he couldn't open the door his mother said to never open the door for anybody. He didn't want to disobey his mother, she would be angry and he would get in trouble. He hated getting in trouble with his mother, but he didn't want to get in trouble with the police either. He decided to answer the officers; there was no way to get around it. They couldn't hide because the officers already knew they were inside.
"We aint s'pose to open the door for nobody!" Tre yelled out.
"It's ok your mother said it was alright. She can't come and get you right now and she didn't want to leave you alone. She sent us to look after you guys for her." the softer voice explained. "Don't worry, we won't hurt you and you won’t be in trouble."
She said that they wouldn't hurt him; they would be safe and that made Tre feel good. Best of all, his mother sent them here because she was concerned. She didn't want them to be alone. Slowly he placed his hand on the handle and his stomach growled loudly as he unlocked the door allowing the uniformed men and woman into his home. But they weren't all officers like he originally thought. There was a petite little woman with bright brown eyes and blonde hair piled on top of her head in a bun. The woman wore a black suit that laid on her curves snugly, and carried her briefcase with her closely. Tremaine had never seen a woman like her before; she didn't look like she belonged in their neighborhood.
"Hey, how are you guys doing?" she asked running her hair through Zoë’s wild curly mane.
"Fine." the two of them said in unison.
The officers took it upon themselves to begin looking around the apartment. They were going through their things and Tre didn't think that it was right and he was sure that his mother wouldn't like it. He didn't even know what they could be looking for.
"Don't go through my moms stuff like that! She ain't gonna like it!"
"Your mother doesn't have much of a choice in this situation little boy. Hey why don't you do your job and get these kids out of here Marie!" a tall and stocky police officer said to the young woman who took interest in them.
"I'm doing my job, why don't you focus on yours!" she replied as she lightly grabbed each of the children’s hand. “Why don't you two come with me?" Marie said not really asking. Slowly she turned around and attempted to walk the children away from the assault of their apartment, but Tre wouldn't move.
"Wait, where we going!" he asked snatching his hand away from Marie's. "Mama said we were s`pose to stay here until she got back. We not s`pose to go no where and they not s`pose to be going through her stuff like that!" He was beginning to get upset and no one seemed to be listening to anything that he had to say.
"Look kid," the same officer said, cutting in before Marie could even attempt to explain what was going on. “Your mother is not coming back here alright? She went out and got herself in trouble now you're our responsibility, so why don't you just be a good little kid and go with Marie."
"Wait what do you mean my moms not coming back?" Tre cried. He didn't understand how could his mother just leave and not come back. She was only going to run an errand she was supposed to be right back, she promised that she would be right back. He wasn't going anywhere with these people, he didn't know them and he didn't believe that his mother sent them to their house anymore. They were liars. Liars who were trying to take him from his home and away from his mother, he couldn't trust them.
"My mom is coming back! She said she was! She's comin' back! Leave her stuff alone! Get off of it!" he yelled, charging towards the policeman, hitting him in an attempt to make him leave his mother's things alone. Over and over again he punched and kicked the policeman, yelling for them to stop and wanting nothing more than for them to go away. He was upset and behaving erratically and that caused his sister to do the same.
"I don't wanna go! I want my mommy, where is my mommy?" little Zoë cried, burying her head into the woman’s lap.
"Great now look what you did! You've gone and gotten them upset! Do you know how hard it'll be to get them out of here now? Jesus Christ I told you I could handle it!" Marie exclaimed as she tried to scoop the little girl up and her arms and comfort her. She wanted to explain to the kids that their mother had to go away for a little while. She wanted to tell them how they were going on a trip. She wanted to reassure them that everything would be fine. The new social worker had everything planned out, she had her speech ready, her words practiced and memorized. Marie wanted everything to be perfect. But nothing was perfect. In fact, everything was as far away from perfect as she could have ever imagined. Her nerves were frazzled; it wasn't supposed to happen this way.
"You little bastard!" the cop cried as he held onto his knee where the little boy kicked him in a fit of rage. "Get these freakin' kids out of her now Marie!"
She tried to get them out of the apartment as fast as possible, but Tre's constant fighting was making that hard to do. He was only five years old, but she was a very small woman. It took nearly all of her energy to wrestle with him to the car, while still keeping a firm hand on Zoë. Marie tried to calm him down on the way, reassure him that everything was going to be okay. But Tre didn't want to hear it, not one word of it. All the words she'd practiced in front of the mirror for hours fell on deaf ears, and any words of reason were drowned out by Zoë’s impassioned cries. Marie couldn't continue to use her prewritten words; she had to come up with something on the spot. Anything to make him listen to her, she needed his cooperation.
"Please Tre! Look at me! Listen to me!" she said firmly. Gently she grabbed him by his shoulders, stopping his movements and forcing him to look at her. “I don't want to hurt you; I just want to help you. Let me help you, please."
“I don't need your help! I - want - my - mom!" he said as he tried to struggle free. But Marie wouldn't let go, instead she held onto him a little tighter.
"Your mother can't help you right now, and you can't go to her okay? Listen to me, I know you’re scared and you want your mother, but I need you to be a big boy okay? You have to be brave." For the first time since they were in the apartment Tremaine stopped fighting and looked at her.
"I need you to be brave and come with me Tre, I promise everything will be okay." Marie told him as she softly wiped the tears from his face.
"You promise?" he asked looking at his sister as she hiccupped her tears away.
"I promise." she reassured him.
His mother was gone and he didn't know when she was coming back. Tre was young and needed someone to trust. He wasn't sure if Marie was the one, but right now she was all he had.