Chapter 27

"I'm not ready to go home," Julianna said to Michael once they had left A.J.'s hotel room.

"Are you hungry?"

"No. My stomach is upset, and I have a headache. Can we go somewhere so I can get something to drink? I'd like to take some aspirin."

"There's a store down the street."

After Julianna took her aspirin, she and Michael resumed walking.

"I should call my mom," she said, pulling her cell phone from her purse.

Dara answered and told her Keesha was sleeping. Julianna told her she would be home soon.

"Do you want to head for the house?" Michael asked.

"I guess we should. I have to face my mother some time and tell her about my talk with A.J. If she's awake, would you like to meet her?"

"I'd love to."

"I bet you know who were staying with."

"Let me guess. Are you with Justus and Dara?"

Julianna nodded.

"When you said your last name was 'Ward,' I had a feeling. I don't know them that well, but, man, can Dara sing."

"You've heard her?"

"Yeah. There's a place called 'The Outback' that's really neat. I guess I shouldn't hang out there because I'm underage, but I don't drink. My cousins are there some times. Their parents own the place. It's fun. Maybe you'd like to go some time?" he ventured.

"I don't know."

Michael heard the lack of enthusiasm in her voice and didn't press.

"Is your headache easing up?"

"Not really. Michael, I have to know. How did you accept all those different fathers into your life? I don't get it."

He knew her mind was still on her conversation with A.J. He wanted to help her if he could.

"I didn't have much choice. My mother chose my fathers for me. I didn't really know any different until I would hear my mother and Sonny arguing, sometimes, about Jason and A.J. Jason was always a presence in my life. He's the one I was the closest to. I never got to see A.J., so I didn't think about him, and I didn't even know my real dad existed until the accident."

"Sonny thought A.J. was your father?"

"He did. I don't think my mother ever told him about my dad. Remember when your father said there was more he could have told you about his life back then?"

Julianna nodded.

"I can fill you in on some things if you want me to."

"Do I really want to hear more?" she asked and sighed.

"It's up to you, Jule."

"Go ahead," she said, sounding drained. "You might as well tell me."

"Well, according to what my grandmother told me, by the time Sonny entered the picture, my mom and I were living with A.J. at the Quartermaine mansion. He and my mom had married."

"I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but your mom did some strange things, Michael. Why would she marry the man she knew wasn't your father? It certainly didn't seem as though she ever loved A.J. Didn't my father say they ended up bitter enemies?"

"Yeah, he said that because they were. I'm not really sure why my mother married your father, but I know nothing good came out of it. The reason Sonny remained in our lives is because my mom was pregnant with his child. I've heard that she tried to pass off the baby as your father's. But when that failed, Sonny basically took control of my mother's life. That's when we left A.J. and moved in with Sonny."

"And you were how old then?" Julianna asked, her head pounding.

She wondered how much more she could stand to hear.

"I was about 2-1/2 years old."

"And you were already on to your third father?!"

"Yeah. I know it's crazy, Jule, but I didn't really know what was going on. The one person I knew the best was Jason. He was always around."

"I don't get why your mother didn't just marry him."

Michael chuckled. "My grandmother said the same thing. I think it had more to do with Jason, but whatever. It doesn't really matter now."

"No, I suppose it doesn't. Was my father still living here when your mother died?"

Michael shook his head. "He was already living in Manhattan."

"Then how did you and he become friends?"

"A few weeks after the funeral, when things had started to somewhat calm down, my dad told me he had talked to A.J. He suggested we go visit him."

"Were you with your dad?"

"No. I was with my grandmother and my brother."

"We really haven't told each other a lot about ourselves, have we? I didn't know you have a brother."

They found themselves strolling through the park.

"We're taking the long way to your house. Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

"Until I knew who my real father was, I didn't know I had a brother either."

"So this wasn't your mother's child?"

"No. My mom lost that baby."

He chose not to tell her that it was due to an altercation with a drunken A.J. on the staircase at the Quartermaine mansion.

"So your dad has another son?"

"Yes. This is going to get even weirder, Jule, but my dad and my grandmother were once married."

"I don't even want to know the details about that."

"Well, they adopted Lucas. They lost a daughter before I was born. Her name was B.J. My cousin Maxie has her heart."

"Now that's tragic," Julianna said, "but I can relate to that. I mean, in order for my mother to get a new liver, I know it means someone else will have to die. I hate that thought, but if my mother doesn't get a new liver then she will die. That's so sad, Michael. I feel bad for your grandmother. She's lost two children. I feel bad for your father, too, but some of this other stuff is just too out there for me. I don't know what I would have done if my mother hadn't kept things structured for me."

"That's what my dad and my grandmother tried to do for me, but my grandmother was grieving. I'm ashamed to say this, but I took advantage of that fact. Big time. I'm surprised she didn't kick me out of her house."

"Your grandmother loves you, Michael. She knew you were hurting, too. Did she go with you and your dad when to went to visit A.J. in Manhattan?"

"No. Jason wanted to go, but my dad said 'no way.' At the time, I was very upset, and I told him if Jason didn't go, then I didn't want to go. My dad was strict, but he was right. Jason didn't need to be there. Plus, he was a marked man, and my father wanted to make sure I was as far away from him as I could be."

A sobering thought suddenly occurred to Julianna.

"Are you safe, Michael? Is it okay for you to be walking around like this?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Those guys got who they wanted, for the most part. The fact that Jason hasn't been seen around here in a few years has cooled their interest in this town."

"What happened?"

"It was all mob- and territory-related. I don't know the particulars, and I told my dad and my grandmother that I don't want to know. I have enough images in my mind without adding more."

"What happened when you went to Manhattan?"

"I can tell you that A.J. was devastated when my dad told him what had taken place in the hospital with my mom's deathbed confession. But my dad was prepared. He was able to answer all of A.J.'s questions, and he produced every bit of evidence A.J. asked for. In the end, your father had to accept the truth. That doesn't mean it was easy for him because I know it wasn't. He offered for us to stay with him for a few days. Unfortunately, he sometimes witnessed me at my worst. I didn't really want to be with my dad, Jule. I wanted Jason. He was the one I felt the most comfortable with. I know now how much that must have upset your father. I was also having terrifying nightmares. I still have them," he added quietly.

"I would be shocked if you didn't," Julianna said, empathy present in her voice.

"A.J. tried to talk to me, to counsel me, but I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I didn't want to hear what anyone had to say. Not then. The pain and my grief were too fresh. I really didn't know what was going to happen to me. When my dad and I got back to Port Charles, they made me go to counseling. I hated it. I just wanted to be left alone. I refused to talk. The summer after I turned fourteen, my dad called A.J. and told him about my drug and behavioral habits. He asked A.J. to help me. I agreed to go to Manhattan because I thought it would be cool to see what damage I could do there with no parental control. A.J. wouldn't let me. I lived with him, Jule, and he placed me in one of the newer programs he had just started for teen-agers who were grieving and who were on drugs and/or drinking. He called it 'The Michael' program."

"How can you smile when you say that?" Julianna asked, her tone serious.

"Sometimes you just have to laugh. I knew I was a mess; A.J. knew I was a mess, but that summer I lived with him changed my life. He spent a lot of time with me, whether I wanted him to or not. He didn't care. He was just there for me. I knew I was getting special treatment, but you know what? I loved it. He was tough on me, and so were my counselors, but he and I had a lot of fun, too. He took me places, he showed me all around Manhattan, we went to baseball games, he listened to me when I really needed to talk. He knew I hadn't completely kicked the drug habit, but he told me, in no uncertain terms, what would happen to me if he found drugs in his penthouse. You talked about structure. That's what your father gave me. Before the end of that summer, I had come to respect him. Grudgingly, but I really did respect and like him. As a person. When I was getting ready to return here, he told me it was up to me. I had to be the one to say I didn't need the drugs anymore. The only thing he made me promise was that I would continue to go to therapy and attend NA meetings. I told him I would, and I did, Jule. By the time my fifteen birthday arrived, I was happy to say I was drug free. Your father called me that day, and we had a great talk. He always calls me on my birthday. I'll never forget that summer I spent with him, Jule. He helped me so much."

"When you talk about my father like that, I ask myself why I'm so reluctant to give him a chance. But then when I think about the other stuff he's done..."

"I know it's hard, but sometimes, you just gotta let the bad things go, or at least not dwell on them so much."

"I guess," she said, but Michael could tell he had not been able to convince her.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked as they reached Dara and Justus' house.

"Not really."

"If you'd rather I didn't go inside, I understand."

"Maybe another time would be better."

"No problem. Will you call me or send me an e-mail?"

"Yeah. I'll be in touch."

"If I don't hear from you, I'm going to have to be a pest again."

Julianna offered him a weak smile. "You've never been a pest," she assured him. "You're my friend, Michael. And I'm very glad you are."