Chapter 32

When Michael's cell phone rang well past midnight, he knew it was Julianna. Sitting on his bed, he said a cheery "hello."

"Am I calling too late?" Julianna asked, realizing he knew it would be her.

"Nope. I told you to call me any time."

"But you do need to sleep," she pointed out.

"Sleep is highly overrated," he said and laughed.

"Michael, how can you be so cheerful this late at night?"

"I'm not usually," he admitted. "But I had a good feeling about your visit with Emily and her family. Did it go well?"

"Yeah, it did," she said.

"But?" he asked, sensing she wanted to say more.

"Things were going well, very well actually, and then Emily asked my father when he was going to arrange for me to meet my grandparents. The evening sorta went downhill from there."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think A.J. is ready yet, and I guess Emily pushed too hard. She's offering to run interference, but I don't think that's what he wants."

"Maybe after he thinks about it, he'll realize it probably won't be as bad as he's imagining."

"That's just it, Michael. What if it is that bad? What if...what if it's worse?"

"You guys don't have to stick around, right?"

"Yeah," she said sadly, "but I think by then it would be too late. The damage would have already been done. There's another thing, too."

"What?"

"Something very strange is going on with my mom and A.J."

"Strange, like what?"

"Strange like they can't keep their hands off each other."

She sounded repulsed; Michael gave a hearty laugh.

"What?" she asked, feeling indignant. "What's so funny, Michael?"

"You," he said, trying to contain himself. "Jule, your parents obviously like each other. They did years ago. Why wouldn't they now?"

"I don't know, but I wish I didn't have to see it."

"I think it's great," Michael said.

"How can you say that?"

Now she really was annoyed with her overly positive-sounding friend.

"Did your mother look happy?" he asked. "Did A.J.?"

"Yeah," she grumbled, hating to have to admit the truth. "They did."

"That's why I think it's great. You know, Jule, my mom was never happy. Not really. She seemed to come to life only when Jason was around. She married Sonny. I suppose she loved him, in her own way. And I guess he loved her, too, in his own way, but I don't have many memories of happy family times. I'm not saying I wanted a sit-com type atmosphere, but some calmness and routine would have been nice. We always seemed to be in crisis mode and survival mode. I hated it. I had to go off to Sonny's island more times than I can remember to feel 'safe.' What a joke. I never felt 'safe.' Never. And I was hardly with my family. I was with Leticia, my nanny, who I sometimes thought was my real mother. I hated feeling scared and alone, Jule, wondering what was going to happen. I hated having to worry who was after Sonny and would they get him? Would they get my mom? Would they get Jason or his wife Courtney? Would they get me? One place I never want to see again is Puerto Rico. I hate even saying the name. Is it so wrong that your parents are finding themselves attracted to each other again? At least, Jule, your father and your mother seem to want to be together. I'm not trying to preach or lecture, but I think you should be thankful they found each other again. And that they're getting along so well. Can't you be happy for them? At least a little?"

*~*

After a sleepless night, A.J. called Skye to see if they could meet.

"Sure. Tom and I were thinking of going to the Grille for brunch. Join us?"

"If you and Tom wouldn't mind."

"Of course not. We probably should discuss some things about the office anyway."

"Okay. See you in a bit."

*~*

Dara and Justus lingered in bed on a lazy Sunday morning with the sun streaming into their room through the curtains.

"Do you think we're doing the right thing by trying to adopt?" Justus asked as he drew his wife closer to his side and began to caress her bare shoulder.

"Definitely. Why? Don't you?"

"I go back and forth," he admitted. "I want children, Dara, I do. But I'm just wondering if we should try to adopt a baby or a young child. Should we adopt a boy or a girl? Will we make good parents? Will the child be happy and feel loved in our home? Are we really ready for this?"

"That's way too many serious questions for a Sunday morning before I've had my coffee," Dara said.

She stroked his chest and tried to kiss away his worries, but he had one more he needed to voice.

"There's also the situation with Keesha," he said quietly.

Dara nestled closer and encouraged him to continue. She saw his brow furrowed in consternation and knew he had to get his concern out in the open.

"Tell me," she said, entwining her slender fingers with his much larger ones.

"Should Keesha not get a new liver and that causes her to die," he said, choking back his emotion, "Julianna becomes a part of our lives. I want nothing more than to see that she is with us, but it would change our dynamics, don't you think?"

"You're right, it would, although should something happen to Keesha, and I pray every night for her to get a new liver so she can live a long, healthy life, maybe it would be good for Julianna to have a younger child or children around her. Maybe it would help to ease the grieving process."

"You could be right. I admit I haven't thought about it in those terms. I've just been focusing on the huge void that is going to be in all of our lives should a liver not be found for Keesha. I can't imagine her not being around."

"I try not to let myself think about it," Dara admitted, "because it only makes me weepy, but you're right, baby. It is something we need to consider very carefully. Although with what I've seen lately, I think there's something else we need to start thinking about."

"What?" Justus asked, brushing the hair away from his wife's lovely face.

"The way A.J. and Keesha have been getting along the past few days, I think there's a very real possibility that Keesha would want A.J. to have the option of gaining full custody of Julianna should she succumb to her illness."

Justus had to admit that thought had never occurred to him. And now that it had, he knew he had to have a long, serious talk with his cousin.

*~*

"I heard great things about you two from Emily," A.J. said to Skye and Tom as they sat in a corner booth at the Port Charles Grille.

"A.J.! You saw Emily. How wonderful."

"Actually, the three of us, Keesha, Julianna and I had dinner at their house last night."

"Wow," Skye said and chuckled. "I wasn't expecting to hear that. How did it go?"

"It went well until..."

"Until what?" Tom asked, his sapphire eyes quizzing A.J.

A.J. cleared his throat. "Until Emily asked me when I was going to contact my parents."

Skye and Tom shared a knowing glance. Skye placed her hand on top of A.J.'s.

"You don't have to until you believe you can handle it."

A.J. frowned. "That means I'd never contact them, so I can't wait that long."

Skye glanced at her husband who encouraged her to state her offer to A.J.

"Would you like me to talk to them?" she asked. "You know I would, A.J. For you."

He smiled in humble appreciation. "Thanks. I really appreciate the offer, but I can't accept it."

"Why not?" Tom asked.

"Because my parents would accuse me of using Skye. I can hear the conversation now. I have to face them. On my own. Or what I'm trying to accomplish will mean absolutely nothing."

"But that doesn't mean you can't have help," Skye insisted.

"Yes, it does. Skye, you lived with them. You know how my family is. Maybe they have changed, but I can't take that chance. I know what I have to do. I'm just not ready to do it."

"What about Keesha and Julianna? They can help you, right?"

"Yes, and they want to, or at least Keesha does."

"You know, A.J.," Tom offered, "I think the more you stew about this, the more daunting it's going to become. I know, from Skye, how bad things were between you and your family when you left, but it has been eleven years. Surely some of that animosity has passed. Won't they be thrilled to know they have a granddaughter?"

A.J. looked at Skye. "What do you think? Remember how warm and fuzzy your welcome was when my father thought you were his daughter?"

Skye shuddered. Tom wrapped his arm protectively around his wife's shoulders. "Please, don't remind me," she said. "But A.J., you *are* their child. And Julianna *is* your daughter. There's no disputing those two facts."

A.J. stared at his water glass and gripped it so tightly he thought it would shatter. "I need to say this. I need to get this out of me before I explode. I haven't said this to anyone. I've barely given myself a chance to think about it. I keep trying and trying to push the thought from my mind, but it won't go away."

"What, A.J.?" Skye asked, forcing him to look at her. "What is it that has you so scared?"

He swallowed hard and then nodded. He knew he could tell them. He had to tell someone. His voice was quiet when he spoke. "When I finally do contact my parents and Julianna meets them, I keep thinking that my mom, and especially my dad, are going to be wishing that it were Jason who had come back and that they were being introduced to his daughter or son."

"Oh, A.J.," Skye said, tears filling her eyes at the thought of how one of her dearest friends had been torturing himself.

"I don't know what I would do if Julianna were to suffer at the hands of *my* family all because she has the misfortune of being my child and not Jason's."