Chapter 46

A.J. pulled Vincent aside and talked to him in private about how to handle the situation with Courtney.

"Nothing can be traced back to me," A.J. told him.

The dark-haired man nodded. "I understand."

"Make sure she and Jesse get on the plane and make certain you are not being followed."

"Will do."

"Call me on my cell if you run into any problems. Once the plane has taken off, call me. Okay?"

Vincent nodded.

"Put your disguise back on," A.J. instructed Courtney. "Vincent knows what to do. If you try *anything*, Courtney, you will be sorry. Very sorry."

She shook her head. Her voice sounded drained when she spoke. "I just want to get on that plane."

"Let's go then," Vincent said, nodding towards A.J. to let him know he had the situation under control.

"There's one more thing I should tell you," Courtney said, looking at A.J. "Once I've contacted my friend at the Times, he's going to print a story announcing that Jesse and I have died."

A.J. couldn't hide his shock.

"It's the only way to end this," she said, sounding defeated. "There's not much left of any of us, which is probably a good thing. If you see Jason, you'll know what I'm talking about. Thank you, A.J. I know I don't deserve your help, and there's no way I can repay you, so..."

"You told me about Jason," A.J. said. "I witnessed, first hand, what Sonny's and Carly's deaths did to Michael. I wouldn't wish that kind of grief and despair on anyone. Not even you or Jason."

Courtney nodded. When she would have reached out to touch him, A.J. backed away.

"This is strictly business. I'm doing this for your son. And this is it, Courtney. I never want to see or hear from you again. If you think my staff was protective before, you'd better believe you will never get near me again. Ever!"

*~*

A.J. answered the knock on his door a few minutes later and admitted his father into the room.

"Vincent said you needed to see me. What's going on?"

"First of all, I want to thank you for what you did this morning. Facing the press couldn't have been easy, and I would've never asked you to do that for me."

"I know, but I wanted to. I know how hard you've worked to maintain your sobriety. I wanted to do something *for* you, A.J."

"That means a lot to me. Thank you."

Alan smiled at his son. "You're welcome."

"The other reason I wanted to see you was to tell you that Courtney was here. She needed help, so I did what I could. She has a young son, who is not Jason's by the way. He witnessed something horrific, and it traumatized him. I couldn't not help him."

"She's not with Jason anymore?"

A.J. shook his head. "Apparently, they're divorced. I talked to Jason, briefly. Very briefly. I'm not sure what's going on with him, Dad, but he needs you. He's in an abandoned warehouse near the end of the pier."

"He's here?!" Alan exclaimed.

"Yes. I'll tell you the rest of what I know later, but right now, you should go to him."

"What am I going to encounter?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Should I call Mac?"

"It's up to you, Dad. I don't want to make that decision."

"Good thing I have my medical bag in the car. I'm on my way."

"Call me later," A.J. said.

"I will."

A.J. couldn't bring himself to tell his father that he didn't know whether he would find Jason dead or alive.

*~*

Alone in his hotel room, as A.J. tried unsuccessfully to erase the image of the haunting look in Courtney's eyes and the sound of Jason's weary, pained voice, a sudden and intense craving for alcohol consumed him. He wanted nothing more than to savor the taste of the smooth vodka as it slid down his throat. He saw himself at the bar, holding a glass in his hand. Trying to shake off the mental image, he gripped the counter and forced himself to concentrate on something else. Anything else. But the need grew stronger. He wanted vodka, and he wanted it now!

A.J. called on everything he had ever learned in AA and had preached to others in a desperate attempt to will himself *not* to give in to his craving. Glancing at the table, he saw his cell phone. He grabbed it and within seconds, he had made the call. Help was on the way, and it couldn't get there a moment too soon.

*~*

Skye and Tom arrived a short time later, ready to do whatever was required to help A.J.

"Are you doing any better?" Skye asked, grabbing A.J.'s hands to stop them from shaking.

"Not really. I would give anything for a drink."

"We're going to get you to a meeting."

"No! I can't do that. I have to stay here. Julianna is coming. We're going to the hospital to see Keesha."

"Do you really want your daughter to see you like this?" Skye asked pointedly.

"Just talk me through this. I need to get my mind off of liquor."

"You need a meeting," Tom said matter of factly.

"Julianna will understand," Skye said. "I'll take you to the meeting. Tom will stay here. If Julianna arrives, he'll explain the situation to her."

"She won't know why this happened. I want to be the one to talk to her."

"That's fine," Tom said. "I'll keep her company until you get your craving under control. That's your first priority, A.J."

"Tom's right," Skye said. "Your daughter will understand."

After his weak protests fell on deaf ears, A.J. agreed to attend a meeting.

"I need to take my cell phone," he told them. "I'm expecting a couple of very important calls. If Julianna wants to go to the hospital without me, that's fine, but tell her I'll call her."

"I'll let her know," Tom assured his friend.

"Thank you," Skye said to her husband after she kissed him.

"He's in pretty bad shape," Tom said. "If he doesn't show improvement after one meeting, I'd stay for another."

"That's what I plan to do. There is no way he's losing his sobriety after all this time. I don't care if we have to stay for fifty meetings."

*~*

Tom saw the look of confusion on Julianna's face when he admitted her into A.J.'s hotel room.

"Where's my father?" she asked, looking around.

"Let's sit down," Tom suggested.

Instantly on alert, Julianna took a seat on the couch. Tom sat next to her.

"What's going on?" she asked. "We're ready to go to the hospital."

Tom rubbed his hands together as he spoke. "Julianna, your father is at an AA meeting."

"AA meeting? Why? What happened? I talked to him this morning and he seemed okay. Is this because of that reporter?!"

"We're not really sure what triggered his alcohol craving, but Skye is with him, and she's going to make sure he gets past this without taking a drink."

"I don't understand," Julianna said, rising from the sofa. "He seemed to be doing so well. He never talks about wanting a drink. He never talks about alcohol at all. I just assumed..."

Tom rose to stand in front of the young girl who looked puzzled and lost. "You can't assume," he gently explained, his blue eyes filled with compassion. "Not with a recovering alcoholic, no matter how long he or she has been sober."

"Is this because of Mama? Was it too much for him? Are we causing him stress?"

"I honestly don't know what happened, but even if I did, it's not my place to tell. Your father wants to explain this to you, Julianna. But first, he has to get his craving under control."

She nodded. "Of course. I understand."

"Do you want to go to the hospital with Dara and Justus?"

"Yes. I want to see my mother. But tell my father to call me. I have to know he's okay."

Tom smiled. "I think your father is going to be just fine."

*~*

"Are you feeling better?" Skye asked A.J., after they had attended their second AA meeting.

They sat in a nearby coffee shop.

A.J. took a sip of the strong coffee and nodded. "I think the worst is over."

"You finally stopped shaking halfway through this last meeting. Do you want to attend one more?"

A.J. shook his head. "I'll be all right."

"I'm not leaving you until you are."

A.J. leaned back in his chair. "What is it about this town, Skye? Why do I let it affect me so much?"

"Isn't this where it all started for you?"

"In some ways, but actually, I started drinking when I was in boarding school."

"But it began because of your family, right?"

"Yeah, that's true."

"What caused the craving today? I thought you would be ecstatic about how well Keesha is doing. Although I know being happy doesn't mean you can't want a drink."

"I am very happy about Keesha, and I want more than anything to be with her right now. I had an unexpected visitor this morning."

"Who?"

"Courtney."

"What?! Courtney?! A.J., what are you talking about?"

"She wanted to see me, and she found a way."

"Why, A.J.? Why is she bothering you?"

"Courtney needed my help if you can believe that. She's divorced from Jason, or so she says, and she has a young son by another man. Jesse is the boy's name. He was traumatized by something Jason did. I had to help them, Skye."

She looked at him with skeptical, cynical eyes. "What did she want from you?"

"Money. To get on a plane and meet her mother in Europe."

"And you did that for her?"

"No," A.J. said, making sure his friend understood his reasons. "I did it for her son. I talked to Jason, too."

Skye almost choked on her coffee.

"And you're wondering *why* you had a craving for vodka?! I'm surprised Tom and I didn't find you at the hotel bar!"

"The good thing is the need for alcohol paralyzed me or that's exactly where you may have found me, and it would've been too late. I thought I would be stronger by now, you know? I expected more from myself. I really believed I could handle anything. But I guess I'd better start accepting the fact that I will always have hills to climb and issues to deal with."

"Do you think coming back here has helped or hindered you? You’ve been dealing with a lot of things since returning. It’s not unrealistic to expect that you would want alcohol."

"I’m not sure, but there’s one thing I know, Skye. These last eleven years *cannot* have been in vain. I cannot lose everything I’ve achieved, and I’m not just talking about my work and my reputation. I’m talking about my sanity, my peace of mind, my relationships with Julianna and Keesha. I need my sobriety now more than ever. If these cravings continue, I know I’ll go out of my mind."

"I won’t let that happen, A.J., and neither will Tom."

"I appreciate that very much," he said sincerely, "but I have to be honest with you. I don’t plan to spend much more time in this town."

"What about Keesha and Julianna?"

"I can’t see Keesha wanting to stay here once she’s back on her feet."

"But what if she does, A.J.? What will you do if Keesha and Julianna decide to stay here?"

*~*

Julianna tiptoed into Keesha’s room. She smiled when she saw her mother was awake and looking at her.

"Hi," Keesha said, her voice sounding weak.

"Hi, Mama," Julianna said, sitting down next to her bed. "How are you?"

"I’m pretty out of it," Keesha said. "The morphine drip is wonderful."

Julianna chuckled. "My mother the druggie."

"For now."

"I know you need it. I’m glad it’s helping."

"How are you?"

"I’m fine. When Nikolas told Daddy and me that you’d made it through the operation, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. Mama, you’re going to be healthy again! Isn’t that wonderful?"

"Yes, it is. I can’t wait until I start to feel better."

"You will, Mama. Soon."

Keesha nodded. "I’m thankful I’m alive and that I get to spend time with you. I was so afraid I was going to..."

"I know, Mama," Julianna said, smoothing her mother’s brow. "But don’t talk about that. I’m here, and I’ll stay with you as much as the nurses will allow."

"Thank you. I like knowing you’re here."

Julianna clasped her mother’s hand in hers. Keesha felt her daughter’s warmth and within minutes was sound asleep.

*~*

After A.J. received the call from Vincent letting him know that everything went smoothly with Courtney and Jesse, Skye called Tom and found out that Julianna had gone to the hospital.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Skye asked A.J.

He nodded.

"Meet us at GH," Skye said to her husband. "We’re on our way."

*~*

Julianna spotted Skye and A.J. as soon as they stepped off the elevator. She raced to them and threw her arms around her father.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes," A.J. said, hugging her. "I’m okay."

"You didn’t drink, did you, Daddy?"

A.J. heard the concern in his daughter’s voice, and his heart constricted. He pulled away from her so he could look into her eyes and so she could know he was telling the truth.

"I didn’t drink a sip of alcohol, Julianna. I wanted to, but I didn’t. Skye and I went to two AA meetings instead."

Julianna nodded and hugged her father once more.

"I’m glad you didn’t drink, Daddy. I’m thankful you got the help you needed."

A.J. looked at Skye and smiled in appreciation. "So am I, baby girl. So am I."

*~*

After talking with Dara, Justus and Tom, A.J. headed for Keesha’s room and was stopped by his father, who looked very somber.

"Dad! I've been waiting for your call."

"The news isn’t good, A.J."

He tensed as he prepared himself for the worst. "Is Jason dead?"

"No."

A.J. breathed a sigh of relief.

"But he is very out of it. Disoriented. Going on and on about how Sonny and Carly dying was all his fault and how he messed up trying to avenge their deaths. I finally sedated him but not before Mac and Taggert showed up to arrest him for murder."

"Where is he?"

"He’s here, in a secluded room with a guard posted outside. When he comes to and is a little more coherent, he’s going to be given a psychiatric examination. I don’t believe he’s competent enough to stand trial, should it come to that. In my opinion, he needs a long rest somewhere."

A.J.’s gaze narrowed. "Are you talking about Ferncliffe?"

"Yes, except I wouldn’t send him to Ferncliffe. He needs to be out of the country."

"Like a clinic in Switzerland?"

"Yes," Alan said. "Something like that. I’ll let you know if and when Jason is lucid. I’d like you to see him."

A.J. nodded, grateful for the reprieve. He knew there was no way he could’ve handled visiting his brother. All A.J. wanted to do was to spend time with Keesha. He needed the tranquility she never failed to provide.

*~*

"Hi," Keesha said softly when A.J. entered her room. "I’ve been waiting for you."

"How are you?" he asked, taking a seat next to her bed.

"I’m using the morphine drip, and I feel wonderful. Our daughter called me a druggie."

They shared a laugh. A.J. couldn’t believe how much better he felt after hearing her melodious sound.

I need you so much, he thought.

Out loud he said, "I’m glad you’re able to control your pain."

"Me, too. The pain has been unbearable a couple of times when I tried to go without the morphine."

A.J. brushed her hair. "I hate that you’re suffering."

"I expected it, but I hope it eases up in intensity soon."

"I do, too."

"Ellen said everything I’m experiencing is normal. My body is trying to reject the liver, but the anti-rejection medication is doing its job."

"Thank goodness for that," A.J. said.

He reached for Keesha’s hand and held it in his own. The words ceased. They simply gazed at each other for a long moment.

"I love you so much, Keesha," A.J. finally said. "Every time I’m with you I realize more and more what a serious mistake I made in not contacting you. And not just because of Julianna. But because of all I have missed out on by not being with you. You have a way of making things easier, better and more tolerable. I did so many stupid, hurtful things after you left. I tried to justify them, which only made me look even more pathetic."

"I thought we weren’t going to have these kinds of conversations anymore. I thought we moved past the recriminations, the regrets and the ‘what ifs’."

"We did. We have. But I need you to know that I fully realize I’m a better person when I’m with you. And I want you to know that I’m planning to spend as much time with you and our daughter as you’ll allow me. I love you, Keesha, and I want to be in your life."

Hearing his second declaration of love buoyed Keesha into admitting her own feelings for him.

"A.J., I have something I need to tell you, and this is not the morphine talking, so please believe me when you hear what I have to say. Okay?"

Perched on the edge of his seat waiting to hear what she had to say, he nodded.

"I love you. I know you told me you loved me before I went into surgery, and I didn't respond in kind. But you couldn't have given me a better gift to take with me into that operating room. I just couldn't bring myself to voice my love for you until I knew I had some semblance of a future to look forward to. I know there are no guarantees, but I needed to have hope. Something to hold on to. My fears and the unknown kept me from uttering the words, but I prayed you would know what was in my heart. What I was feeling. I love you so much, A.J. I want us to be together. To be a family. That’s all I’ve been dreaming and thinking about since you told me you loved me."

A.J. returned her smile as he tenderly stroked her cheek. "Thank you for loving me. Your soulful eyes convey so much of what you are feeling, sweetheart. I saw your love for me in them, but hearing you say the words is like a balm to my soul. And now, I want you to tell me your dreams, Keesha. All of them. I want to make them come true. For you. I want you to know how very much I love you. I want you to know from this time forward you can count on me."

"I already know that, silly," she said and laughed.

"But your dreams, sweetheart. Tell me about your dreams."

Keesha gazed at him with serious brown eyes. "My dream is that we will always be together, no matter what. Can you make that happen for me, baby?"

"Yes, my darling," A.J. said, kissing her lightly on the forehead when she closed her eyes. "I *want* to make that dream come true. For you. For me. For Julianna. For the three of us. And I want to make it happen soon."