Chapter 52

Julianna tried to compose herself before she entered her mother’s room, but the moment Keesha saw her daughter, she knew something was terribly wrong.

"Julianna, what’s happened? Talk to me."

Her mother’s compassion and immediate concern caused Julianna to dissolve into tears.

"Honey, come here," Keesha said, holding out her arms to her daughter, who was in obvious distress.

Julianna sat on the edge of her mother’s mattress and gingerly hugged her.

"It’s Michael," she said, in between sobs.

"What happened to Michael?" Keesha asked, instantly on alert.

"He...he told me we shouldn’t...shouldn’t see each other anymore. Why would he do that to me, Mama? Why?"

"Oh, baby girl, I am so sorry. I don’t know why Michael would say that. Why don’t you start at the beginning?"

Julianna pulled herself away from Keesha and wiped her eyes and cheeks with tissues from her mother’s bedside box.

"Last night, he asked me to meet him after his therapy session today, so I did. He was quieter than usual, but I knew he had a lot on his mind. He said he needed air, so we walked through the park. He talked some, and then he wanted to sit on a bench, so we did. He started telling me how he doesn’t feel like a whole person and how he never wants to hurt me. Then, he said maybe it would be better if we never saw or spoke to each other again! I told him that wasn’t what I wanted, but it’s what he wants or thinks he needs to do to protect me. Mama, what am I going to do without him?"

Hot, salty tears ran unchecked down Julianna’s mocha cheeks as Keesha held her and tried to offer comfort.

"Michael is going through some things right now," Keesha said. "I bet this will only be temporary. Once he feels he has things under control, he’ll probably call you, sweetheart. Maybe you just need to give him this time."

"Daddy said you and he talked about Michael and me."

"Yes, we did."

Julianna lifted her head to look at her mother’s face.

"You and Daddy don’t like me spending so much time with Michael, do you?"

"No, sweetheart," Keesha said, stroking her daughter’s hair, "that’s not the issue at all."

"I really like him, Mama, and I’m going to miss him so much!"

"I know you do. I truly don’t think he will cut you out of his life forever."

"What’s going on?" A.J. asked, stepping into the room.

Julianna rose from the bed and dried her eyes before facing her father.

"Michael just told me he doesn’t want us to hang out together anymore. He’s scared he’s going to do something to hurt me."

"I’m sorry this happened, but I can’t help believing this is for the best."

Julianna narrowed her gaze. "Did you talk to Michael, Daddy? Did you tell him to stay away from me?"

A.J. couldn’t have been more shocked. "No," he defended, willing his daughter to believe him. "I did not say anything to Michael. I haven’t talked to him, Julianna. I promise you I haven’t."

"You’d better not have," she warned, ready to flee the room as fresh tears threatened to spill, "because I’ll *never* forgive you if you’re the reason he doesn’t want to see me ever again!"

As Julianna ran past him, a helpless and perplexed A.J. looked to Keesha for answers.

"You believe me, don’t you? I swear I did not say anything to Michael about not seeing Julianna any more."

"I believe you," Keesha said, an urgency in her tone, "but, A.J., please. Go find our daughter!"

*~*

After combing the hospital and nearby grounds and even managing to discreetly check Jason’s room, A.J. reached the sad conclusion that his daughter did not want to be found. Dejected and worried, he returned to Keesha’s room.

"Did you find her?" she immediately asked.

"No, Keesha, I didn’t. I’m sorry. I looked everywhere I could think of. But I’m sure she’s okay," he quickly added, trying to ease her fears. "She probably just wanted to be by herself. Maybe she’s on her way to Dara and Justus’."

"Call them, please," Keesha said, pointing toward the phone on the table next to her. "Tell them to call here the minute they see her."

"All right. I’ll call right now. Please, Keesha, you need to calm down."

She nodded and closed her eyes as she tried to get her heart rate under control. When she opened her eyes, A.J. was staring at her, the receiver in his hand.

"You know our daughter’s feelings for Michael run deeper than friendship, right?"

"I know. She loves him. As much as an almost sixteen-year-old can love or have deep feelings for a member of the opposite sex."

"I’m struggling with the concept, but that doesn’t mean I would order Michael to stay away from Julianna."

"I know that, too, A.J., and deep down, so does Julianna. She’ll realize you had nothing to do with this, but we need to find her. I don’t like the idea she’s run off somewhere by herself."

A.J. left messages for Dara and Justus on their home answering machine and on their cell phones.

"They’re probably busy getting things ready for Matthew and Veronica," Keesha said.

A.J. snapped his fingers. "Matthew and Veronica. I forgot about them. Do you know what room they’re in? Maybe Julianna is visiting them."

"I don’t recall Dara or Justus telling us their room number, but there’s got to be a way for you to find out."

"There is," A.J. said.

He gave Keesha a quick kiss on her cheek and told her he hoped to return to her room soon. With their daughter.

*~*

Lesley Lu saw Julianna huddled in the far corner of the hospital courtyard, her eyes hidden by sunglasses. She approached her and asked how she was.

"I’m okay," she answered. "How are you?"

"I’m fine. Mind if I sit down?"

"Go ahead."

Lesley Lu took a seat next to Julianna at the table. She couldn’t help but notice the wad of tissue Julianna fiddled with in her hands.

"Nikolas told me your father is looking for you. He’s very worried."

Julianna nodded. "I’ll see my mother before I leave. I promise."

"So what’s going on?" Lu asked, genuinely concerned.

"Nothing," Julianna lied.

"Really?" Lesley Lu questioned. "Then why are you covering your eyes when the sun is nowhere to be found?"

"I guess that doesn’t make much sense, does it?"

Lu shook her head. "No, not really."

Seeing Lesley Lu’s concerned face, Julianna slowly removed her glasses to reveal her red, puffy eyes. She gasped when she saw how bad Julianna looked.

"Julianna, what’s wrong? It’s not your mother, is it?"

The young girl shook her head. "Mama’s getting better, thank God. It’s Michael."

"Michael? What happened to Michael?"

"We...we’re not seeing each other anymore."

"Are you kidding? You guys have been as thick as thieves."

Julianna shrugged. "He doesn’t want to hang out anymore."

Lesley Lu placed a comforting arm around Julianna’s shoulders. "I’m so sorry. Maybe he’ll change his mind."

"That’s what my mom said, but he sounded pretty definite to me."

"I heard he saw Jason."

Julianna looked at her with surprise. "How did you hear that?"

Lu chuckled. "Believe me, Julianna, *nothing* that happens around here is a secret for very long."

Based on her mother’s experience, Julianna knew that was true.

"But," Lu continued, "you have to remember that Michael’s grandmother is my aunt."

"She’s upset, isn’t she?"

"Yes. She told me Michael will be staying with his dad for a while. Aunt Bobbie loves Michael so much, but she can’t always handle him."

Julianna continued to toy with the tissue in her hands. "Do you think Michael is going to get worse?"

Lu gave her a thoughtful look. "I’m not sure, but I know Aunt Bobbie is counting heavily on Tony to keep Michael from backsliding to where he was a couple of years ago."

Tears sprang to Julianna’s hazel eyes. "I feel so badly for Michael. I wanted to be there for him, but he won’t let me. This is so unfair!"

"I hate to say this, Julianna, but Michael may have done you a huge favor."

Julianna didn’t agree, but she refrained from commenting.

"Hey, how about getting together with Brooke Lynn and me tonight? We’re going to kick back with a pizza and a movie. Would you like to join us?"

"That would be nice. Thank you."

Lesley Lu smiled. "No problem. We can get to know one another better. Tell me what topping you like on your pizza and what your favorite movie is."

"I like pepperoni and any comedy would be great. I need a good laugh."

Lesley Lu rolled her brown eyes. "You and Brooke Lynn and your precious pepperoni. Be adventurous. How about pineapple or anchovies?"

Julianna scrunched her nose; Lesley Lu laughed.

"Okay, okay. Half pepperoni, and half mushroom and sausage it is. Is that okay?"

"That’s fine."

"Come to the apartment around seven."

"Okay. Give me directions from here. I’ll spend some time with my mom and then head to your place."

"Sounds good. See you later. And don’t worry, Julianna. Michael will be in your life again."

She gave her a knowing smile. "I can almost guarantee it."

*~*

"Dad said you’re going to be staying here for a while."

"Yeah."

When Michael returned to his father’s house, Lucas was waiting for him.

"Wanna talk about what’s going on?"

"I messed up, Lucas," Michael said, throwing his jacket onto the sofa. "So what else is new, right?"

"Messed up how?"

"I thought I could handle it. I really thought I could handle it."

"Handle what?"

Michael sat on the arm of the couch and faced his brother. "Seeing Jason. But I was wrong. I was so incredibly wrong and stupid."

"What happened?"

"I wanted him to help me, but he was so smug with me. All he wanted to do was to warn me about A.J. Can you believe that? Julianna told me that A.J. helped Courtney. You’d think Jason could at least acknowledge that. But no. He had to make sure I knew how dangerous A.J. could be, and by extension, his daughter. The man has really lost it."

"So why don’t you accept that and move on? Why do you still care about Jason? Your life does not involve him anymore. Let it go."

"Easier said than done. It’s not even about Jason anymore. It’s about the anger I thought I had resolved only to find out it’s all still there, Lucas, just waiting to ruin my life!"

"Only if you let it."

"Well, I almost lost it in Jason’s room. I was thisclose to punching him. Can you imagine what that would have done to Julianna?"

"I have a feeling she would have applauded. It sounds like Jason was a total jerk."

"Julianna would not have applauded. She would have been horrified. I would have caused that."

"But it didn’t happen, Michael. You managed to keep your anger in check."

"That time. But I have no guarantee it won’t happen somewhere down the road. I can’t take the risk. Not with Julianna."

"Let me get this straight. You’re willing to give up every good thing you have with Julianna on the chance, the chance, that somewhere along the line you might, *might*, lose your temper or lash out at someone in anger?"

"Yes," Michael said, his resolve absolute. "I won’t risk scaring or hurting Julianna. I can’t do it, Lucas."

Michael’s brother shook his head. "I don’t get it."

"There’s a lot about my life I don’t get either."

"So what are you going to do? How do you figure all this out?"

"With Dr. Kevin Collins’ help, I guess. I’m back to seeing him twice a week instead of once every two weeks. Some progress I’ve made, huh?" he said disgustedly.

Lucas scooted closer to him and gave him a serious look. "You know what, Michael? I think you already know what the real problem is that, for some reason, you are unwilling or unable to face. You just have to start digging deeper inside yourself for the solution that will finally free you from all of this."

*~*

"I’m sorry I worried you, Mama," Julianna said as soon as she stepped inside Keesha’s room.

"You worried your father, too," Keesha admonished, even as the relief at seeing her daughter was evident.

"I know. I’ll call or see him later."

"You accused him of something he did not do, young lady. I expect you to apologize to him."

"I will."

"Where did you go? Your father looked everywhere."

"I was in the courtyard. I saw him, and I hid. I’m sorry, Mama. I just didn’t want to talk to him."

"Julianna, your father is not responsible for Michael’s actions."

"If you say that, I believe you. But you have the admit, the timing was weird."

"The timing coincides with you and Michael visiting Jason," Keesha reminded her daughter.

"Yeah, I know. I saw Lesley Lu in the courtyard. She mentioned that."

"You have to consider it, Julianna. I’m sure it’s what triggered Michael’s fears."

"You guys are probably right," she said and sighed. "But that doesn’t make things any easier for me."

"I know, sweetheart, but you can’t fight Michael on this, and I won’t have you pining away for him. You need to spend time with people who want to be around you. Go to dinner with your father or spend time with Dara and Justus. I’m sure they could use your help and would like to tell you more about Veronica and Matthew."

"Actually, Lesley Lu invited me to spend the evening with her and Brooke Lynn at their apartment. I told her I would. Is that okay?"

Keesha smiled. "That’s fine. You should get to know your cousin. And Lesley Lu seems very nice. You can spend the evening with them. Let Dara and Justus know. And, Julianna, call your father. Soon."

*~*

Brooke Lynn opened the door and greeted her cousin with a hug.

"Come in. I’m glad Lesley Lu saw you at the hospital and invited you over. Let me give you a mini tour."

After showing Julianna around their small but cozy apartment, Brooke Lynn offered her a soda from their mini fridge and opened one for herself.

"Make yourself comfortable," she said, pointing to the living room area that had handmade throw pillows everywhere. "Lesley Lu will be here shortly with the pizza and the movie."

"I’ll sit on the floor if that’s okay."

"Suit yourself."

Brooke Lynn, wearing a light pink sweat suit, curled up on the sofa and hugged one of Lesley Lu’s pillows to her stomach. "Lu said you were in pretty bad shape at the hospital. Sorry to hear about the Michael situation."

"Thanks. I keep telling myself it’s going to be okay. It has to be."

"He’s a great guy, but you probably know that better than me. I missed a lot of his early life, but I’ve heard the stories. I know he hasn’t had it easy."

Julianna nodded. "I agree. We communicated by Web cam for a long time. Even though I had actually never met him, I knew he was a good guy. I also knew he was going through a bunch of really bad things. He told me he’s not caring or kind, but I know differently. He must have forgotten how he was there for me when I really needed him. That’s why I wanted to be there for him, but, unfortunately, I won’t have that chance."

"Jason is bad news," Brooke Lynn declared upon seeing Julianna’s sadness. "I know, technically, he’s family, but you know he doesn’t acknowledge the Quartermaines at all. Once our great-grandmother died, he disassociated himself from us totally and completely."

"He told the family that?"

"My dad told me that’s what he said. I’ve never seen the man or not that I remember, anyway."

"I was with Michael when he confronted Jason. I couldn’t believe the things he said."

Brooke Lynn’s dark eyes flashed with excitement. "I heard Michael really told him off."

"Yeah," Julianna said, looking at her cousin as she spoke with a voice filled with sadness. "He did. And look where it got him. And me."