Chapter 53

The next morning when A.J. opened his hotel room door, he saw his daughter standing on the other side, looking contrite.

"Good morning," she said. "May I come in?"

"Of course," he replied, standing aside to let her enter.

"Daddy, I’m so sorry," she said, once A.J. had closed the door. "I shouldn’t have accused you of going to Michael behind my back."

"You were upset, Julianna. I understood."

"You forgive me?"

"Absolutely. I’m just glad you’re all right. And that you believe me."

They shared a heartfelt hug and then sat on the divan.

"Are you feeling better?" A.J. asked, studying his daughter’s face.

"I guess," she said, without much enthusiasm.

"Give yourself time. It’ll get easier. We have some good news to celebrate today, you know."

Julianna’s expression brightened. "You mean about Mama being moved into a regular room?"

"Yes. You’re going to the hospital soon, right?"

She nodded.

"Good. How about if we go together? I think your mother would like to see the two of us."

"Sure. That’s fine."

"I need to finish getting ready."

"Go ahead," Julianna said. "I’ll be fine."

A.J. smiled at his daughter, who he knew was anything but fine.

*~*

A smiling Ellen entered Keesha’s room and asked her if she was ready for the big move.

"Yes," Keesha said. "I know getting out of urgent care means I really am doing better."

"You are doing amazingly well," Ellen confirmed, automatically reaching for Keesha’s wrist to take her pulse.

"Can we talk about my getting out of the hospital or is it still too early?"

"No, not at all," Ellen said, after listening to her patient’s heartbeat. "I would say after another week to ten days, if you have no major setbacks, you should be ready to be sprung."

Keesha beamed. "I like hearing that kind of news."

"With lots of restrictions, of course," Ellen cautioned.

"I understand. Is one of those restrictions traveling?"

"Yes. At least, until you have your first complete post-op outpatient exam in my office. There are many variables involved, but one of the most important is that you are taking the correct anti-rejection medication. I need to monitor your reaction carefully. Then, maybe we can talk about traveling. I assume you mean back to Philadelphia?"

"I do."

"I’ve been in constant contact with your doctor, so he is up to speed with your remarkable recovery. If everything is fine, your transition back to his care should be a smooth one."

"Thank you so much."

Ellen squeezed Keesha’s hand. "You’re very welcome."

"Could I ask a favor of you?"

"Maybe," she answered, giving her a cagey look. "Depends on what it is."

Keesha pulled a sealed white envelope from atop the bedside table. "I asked Katie for some paper, a pen, and an envelope. This is a very important letter that needs to reach another patient in this hospital. Could you possibly deliver it for me or at least make sure it gets to him?"

"Who’s the patient?"

"Jason Morgan."

Ellen nodded. "I know who that is."

"Would you do that for me? Only make sure he doesn’t know it’s from me."

Ellen raised one eyebrow but didn’t question her patient further as she took the envelope.

"This envelope to Jason Morgan."

"Yes. I would really appreciate it."

"Consider it done."

"Thank you. Thank you very much."

As Keesha watched Ellen leave her room, a feeling of immense satisfaction filled her as she realized she had finally told Jason Quartermaine/Morgan exactly what she thought of him. Whether or not he ever read her letter wasn’t as important as the fact she had *finally* put her thoughts into words. Telling Jason off, even in written form, had felt so liberating she wondered why she hadn’t done it years ago.

"I *love* seeing that smile on your beautiful face."

A startled Keesha looked at the foot of her bed and saw A.J. and Julianna standing there, smiling at her.

"I’m having an excellent morning," she said. Her dark eyes twinkled. "And seeing the two of you together, and smiling, has just improved it a thousandfold. Come here. I need my hugs."

"We saw Ellen," A.J. said, after the requisite hugs were given and received. "The orderlies are here to move you."

"I am *so* ready. What are you waiting for, A.J.? Tell them to get in here. NOW."

Julianna laughed as A.J. saluted one feisty Keesha Ward and dutifully relayed her message to the orderlies who quickly followed him into the room.

Half an hour later, Keesha was settled into her room, more than ready to begin the next phase of her recovery, which would, hopefully, ultimately, lead to her discharge. That day couldn’t come soon enough for her, and she vowed to do everything within her power to make sure it happened sooner rather than later.

*~*

"What do you say you help me clean out the garage?" Tony said to Michael. "I packed up so many boxes, but never really went through them. I feel like I need to get rid of some stuff and better organize what I’m keeping. We can talk while we work, if you want."

"I’ll help you," Michael said, knowing he didn’t have anything better to do. "But you do the talking."

"Fair enough."

After changing into grubby clothes, they headed for the basement where several stacks of boxes waited for them.

"Where should we start?" Michael asked.

"It doesn’t matter. Pick a box and see what’s inside. If it looks like it contains only books or reference material, keep it. But if it looks like junk, set it aside so I can go through it. I brought a marker so I can label the boxes I’m keeping and list what’s inside them."

Michael gave his father a sarcastic grin. "It would’ve helped if you had done that in the first place."

Tony ruffled his son’s hair. "Just shut up and help me go through them."

They worked quietly, side by side, opening boxes and sorting through the contents. Michael stacked medical and reference books into several boxes while Tony sorted through old papers, photographs and letters. He stopped when he spotted a cassette tape that had Carly’s name on the label.

"What’s that?" Michael asked, seeing the stunned expression on his father’s face.

"This?" Tony said, tossing the tape aside. "It’s nothing. Nothing at all."

"It must be something. Your whole demeanor has changed. What is it, Dad? Tell me, please. I want to know."

"It’s something stupid, Michael, that needs to be thrown in the trash. Come on. We have a lot more boxes to sort through."

But Michael remained obstinate. "I’m not boxing up anymore books until you tell me what you found."

Tony shook his head. At the moment, all he saw was Carly’s fierce determination and stubbornness in his son. So he did the only thing he could. He told him what he had found.

"It’s a tape I made for your mother another lifetime ago. There. Are you happy?"

"What kind of a tape?"

Tony sighed. "I wrote a song for your mother, and I recorded it onto a tape. Now can you get back to my books, please?"

"Wait a minute. You wrote a song for my mother?"

"Yes. Like I said, it was a stupid thing to do. That tape is going in the trash."

"No," Michael said, reaching for it. "I wanna hear it."

"Why?" Tony asked, growing impatient. "It doesn’t mean anything."

"Yes, it does. You wrote a song for my mother. Of course that means something."

"You do remember how things turned out between your mother and me, right, Michael?"

Michael rolled his eyes. "And you wonder where I get my sarcasm from? It’s not all from my mother. Yes, I know what happened between you and Mom, but still. This is a part of your history. I want to hear the song. Please?"

Off his father’s concerned look, Michael asked, "Or don’t you think I can handle it? Is that it? You think hearing a song you wrote for my mother is going to send me even further over the edge? If that’s possible."

In disgust, Michael threw the tape, which bounced onto the concrete floor and landed at Tony’s feet.

"Fine. Forget it. I don’t need to listen to some dumb love song about an adulterer and a woman who didn’t even know who had fathered her baby and then decided to name the only man she hadn’t slept with as my precious daddy. I’m out of here."

Michael had reached the front door when Tony stopped him.

"Am I part of the problem?" Tony asked his son pointedly. "All this anger and hurt you keep saying is directed at Sonny and Jason and your mother. Am I in there, too, son? Because if I am, then you and I need to have a long talk."

*~*

"Well, well, well. Look who I get to take care of."

Carrying a towel-covered tray, Bobbie entered Keesha’s room and gave the three of them a warm greeting.

"Hi, Bobbie," Keesha said. "It’ll be nice to see a familiar face."

"Ellen says you are doing unbelievably well."

She turned her attention to A.J. and Julianna.

"I just need to take a fresh set of vitals for Keesha’s chart, check her IV and change her bandages. Give us half an hour?"

"Of course," A.J. said, placing a hand on his daughter’s back to usher her from the room.

"How’s Michael doing?" Julianna blurted out before she could stop herself.

Bobbie gave her a tender smile. "As far as I know, he’s okay. He’s staying with his father."

"I know. I saw Lesley Lu. She told me. I hope...I hope he’s all right."

Bobbie set the tray on Keesha’s table and then patted Julianna’s hand. "You are so sweet. I’ll be sure to let his father know you asked about him."

"Come on, sweetheart," A.J. said. "Bobbie needs to be alone with your mother."

"A.J. and I hope Michael will be all right, too," Keesha said, once the thermometer had been removed from her mouth.

Bobbie looked up from the chart where she had been recording Keesha’s vitals. "I wish I had never mentioned Jason being here to Jerry. It’s my fault Michael found out. The last thing I wanted him to do was to see Jason. I knew he couldn’t handle it."

"If you don’t mind my asking, why did Michael want to see Jason so badly?"

Bobbie pressed the file against her chest and heaved a troubled sigh. "Ever since Sonny and Carly died, Michael has had it in his head that Jason would give him the answers he thinks he needs regarding the paternity switch. Tony and I have tried to tell him that he needs to put that behind him and move on. But he is my daughter’s son. He wants to know why they played this cruel trick on him and Tony and A.J. Jason will not talk about it. I told him that but, unfortunately, he had to find out for himself. And now he has to deal with the consequences of that ill-advised visit. I hate what my grandson is going through. I want to throttle Jason for ever being in that boy’s life. But at one time, Michael idolized him. It’s a horrible situation, Keesha, and I don’t see any quick fix in sight."

*~*

"Why would I be angry at you?" Michael asked, his tone evasive. "You were a victim of Jason and my mom, just like A.J. and I were."

Tony searched his son’s face and then proceeded to voice a thought he had long held. "You could be, subconsciously, resenting the fact that I’m your father. Let’s face it, Michael. For the first twelve years of your life, you didn’t even know I existed. One tragic night changes everything and, suddenly, you have yet another father. If there is resentment or anger, let it out, son. I want to know so we can deal with it."

"No," Michael said, pacing the length of the living room. "You’ve got it all wrong. I don’t resent you. I don’t!"

"Not even a little?" Tony pressed, wanting Michael to air his thoughts, his concerns.

Michael stared at his father as if seeing him for the first time. "Okay," he acknowledged, thrusting his hands inside his pants pockets and shrugging his shoulders, "maybe I do feel resentment. But only a little."

"Because?"

"Because you cheated on Grandma with my mother who was her daughter! How sick is that?! Why did *you* have to get involved with my mother? Why did you let my mother use you in her psycho scheme to get revenge on her birth mother?! Why didn’t you stay with Grandma and raise Lucas, who, thanks to you and my mother, is both my brother and my uncle?! The dynamics of this family are crazy. There, I said it. Are you happy?!"

"Yes," Tony said. "I am happy you are talking to me and telling me how you feel. I knew you accepted a few things too easily after the explosion. I’ve been waiting for this."

"But my stating how I feel doesn’t change anything. You’re my father. I have to accept that. What else can I do?"

"You can be wishing things were different and then resenting me in the meantime because they aren’t. Michael, I need to know something. Deep down, way deep down inside yourself, there’s a part of you, maybe a big part, who wishes Jason were your father, isn’t there?"

"I can’t answer that question," Michael said, turning away from his father.

But Tony’s hands on his son’s shoulders turned him around. "Yes, you can. And I want you to."

"Jason never was my father," Michael maintained. "He was my mother’s sick fantasy. That’s all."

"No, that’s not all. Jason was good to you. I know you loved him, Michael. We all know you loved him. When your mother and Sonny died, you wanted to go with Jason when he left town. Didn’t you?"

"No!" Michael vehemently denied, but the truth was written all over his young face.

"I think you’re lying to yourself, son."

"Okay!" Michael yelled. "Yes! Yes! I’ve always wanted to be with Jason. For years, I waited for him to come get me, but he never did. He let Sonny control my mother. He never helped her. He never helped me. He wouldn’t take me away even though I begged him to. I wanted Jason to be my savior, but he wasn’t. When I needed him the most, he wasn’t there for me. I hated Sonny! He caused nothing but problems between my mother and me. She never listened to me when he was around! The night he and my mother died I was planning to run away. I was so angry at both of them. I wished my mother were with Jason and that Sonny were dead!"

The room became suddenly, eerily quiet as Michael thought about what he had just screamed. With a faraway look in his chocolate eyes, he repeated the words to make sure he had heard himself correctly.

"I wished Sonny dead, and then, a few hours later, he died."

Tony caught Michael in his arms right before the young man fainted.