After Detective Parker finished questioning her, Cassie left. She did not want to go home yet, but she did not have anywhere else to go. So she made her way to a coffee shop. Cassie ordered her drink and sat down at the bar facing the window. She stared out into the street and watched all of the happy, healthy, living people walk by. Cassie tried to understand why this was happening to her, how it happened to her. Sitting alone her thoughts began to wander back to the memory of when she it hit her, when she realized that Christian’s less than legal job could put him in a pine box six feet under.  

Cassie spent two months in London convincing an up and coming singer that no one could write better songs then she could. In those two months Cassie did not get a chance to really talk to Christian. She was always busy and when she did find the time to sit and try to reach him, Christian was working.

Now, Cassie was home in New York City. She could not wait to surprise Christian; she did not tell him when she was coming home. They had been dating for over two years, and it was serious, at least she considered it to be serious. She did not really know what Christian thought. He never hinted that their relationship was going toward something more permanent, but Cassie hoped.

For Cassie, dreaming about the future was a favorite pastime. The entire flight from London to New York Cassie was picturing what her life would be like. She came up with the typical little girl dreams, the kind that would be played out in a thought bubble in cartoons. She wanted it all: the nice house with the picket fence a dog and 2.5 kids. Cassie could easily picture what their kids would look like. 

After dropping her bags off at her apartment, Cassie went to go see Christian. The doorman at his swanky apartment smiled as she walked up.

“Hi Frank, how are you?” she asked.

“I’m good. Haven’t seen you around lately.”

“I’ve been out of the country. But, I’m back now. Do you think he’s home?”

“He might be. Go on up. I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.” Frank waved Cassie in.

Cassie rode in the elevator up to his apartment. She fidgeted. Cassie was both anxious and excited to see Christian. The elevator came to a stop as it dinged. The doors slid open and Cassie made her way out into the hall. Her stomach flip flopped as she walked up to his door. She knocked twice, closed her eyes, and hoped for the best.

The door swung open, and light from the room flooded the hallway. Cassie did not get a good look at him because of the blinding light.

“Cassie?” Christian mumbled. He was surprised to see her. He was happy to see her. He just did not want her to see him like he was. Stepping aside, he allowed Cassie to enter his domain. Christian turned his back to Cassie as he closed the door. He rested his head on the door and waited until he heard Cassie sit down somewhere.

“Are you not happy to see me?” Cassie asked, she began to think that this was a bad idea, surprising him. She was back two weeks earlier.

“No,” he slurred into the door, “I’m happy to see you. I just… I thought you would call first.” He continued to stand at the door, not facing her.

“Christian, are you drunk? It’ s only one in the afternoon.”

“I’m not drunk,” Christian said as he turned around to face her for the first time.

Cassie took in his face. He stood still and kept his mouth closed. There was something off about his appearance.

“Christian?”

“Yes?” He moved his mouth carefully and almost not at all.

 When his mouth opened briefly, Cassie could see the metal in his mouth. "What, what happened to your mouth?"

"I broke my jaw."

"You broke your jaw? How did that happen?" 

"I..., I don't want to get you involved Cass. It's nothing." Christian said sitting down.

Cassie got up from the arm chair she sat in and went to sit next to Christian. She placed her arm around his back and leaned into him. "Christian a broken jaw is not nothing. And what are you talking about? What don't you want to get me involved in?"

Christian laughed as he rubbed her thigh. "I've told you before Cass; I'm no good for you."

"What are you talking about?" Cassie asked slightly confused. 

Christian continued to sit quietly and continued to make circles on her thigh.

"You make me happy and I love you, so there's no way you're not good for me." Cassie said placing a hand over his causing the circular motion to stop.

"You and I both know that's not enough to make a relationship work. There are things I do. I can't tell you about them. It would only put you in harms way."

"So this has to do with your work?" She knew what Christian did was illegal, she just never considered how illegal it was. Nor did she think it was that dangerous. Cassie turned her head to look at him and it hit her. What he did was life threatening.

"What am I thinking, of course it's about your work." Cassie stood up and began pacing in his apartment. She was upset and mentally berating herself for not realizing sooner that Christian could be hurt or killed at any moment because of his job. 

He watched her walk back and forth across the room. He was beginning to become upset. She knew what he did was dangerous; he never told her exactly how dangerous it could be. He did not want Cassie involved in what he did. He was always getting on the wrong side of  the wrong people. And if the wrong people found out about Cassie, then she would not be safe.  

Christian bowed his head and stared at the floor. "Cassie,"

She stopped moving around the room and stood still.

"We need to end this." Christian slurred looking up at her. "Now." He closed his eyes and bowed his head back down. It hurt him to say it, but it needed to be said. He could not, would not have her get hurt because of him.

"What? No. I don't want out." Cassie said.

Christian looked up again. He stared into her eyes. "But I do."

With those words, Cassie felt her world begin to crumble. It felt like the thread holding her heart together were being torn apart. This was not what Cassie was expecting when she came home from London. She expected him to be happy to see her, to want to spend some time together. She did not expect him to end things. All of her bubble dreams went flying out the window.

"Okay." 

Cassie was in shock and still processing what had happened as she rode the elevator back down to the ground floor. She should have expected something was up when she could not get in contact with him while she was out of the country. Cassie wanted to cry, but she refused to break down before she made it home. She hailed a cab and left. She did not look back. If she did, then the tears would start, and she could not have that happen. Once they started, they would not stop.  

I can't believe how you slurred at me

With your half-wired broken jaw

You popped my heart seams

All of my bubble dreams, bubble dreams