A week had gone by and Christian’s case had gone cold. After questioning Milo, the detectives had no new leads. The medical examiner’s office released the body to Cassie. Christian’s only relative was a great aunt who lived in a Florida nursing home.

Somehow, Cassie managed to make the proper arrangements. From the medical examiner’s office, Christian’s body was sent to a crematory.

Two weeks passed, and Cassie still had not returned to the studio. She sat in her apartment staring at the black and gold urn on a side table that held Christian’s remains. She could not control her thoughts. They kept returning to the fact that Christian would never grace her presence again. He would never argue with her again or even talk to her again. And that idea left her with nothing but pain.

Cassie was half-way finished with a pint of Chubby Hubby ice cream when she heard the banging on her door. She did not move from the spot where she was sitting. Instead, she ate another spoon-full of ice cream. But the banging continued. Finally the door opened and Jade stepped in.

“Why is it so damn dark in here?” Jade asked turning on the light.

Cassie rolled her eyes, “Why do you think?”

“Look I know you’re upset and that you’re mourning, but sweetheart you’ve got to move on. Life goes on.”

“Jade I don’t think I can. My boyfriend was murdered. Do you get that?” Cassie asked.

“Yeah, I get that. But you are still here. And damn you we are finishing my album. You can go on hiatus after that.” Jade sat down beside her friend and stole Cassie’s spoon and ice cream.

“I can’t go back into the studio. I’m definitely not ready for that.”

“Don’t give me that crap Cassie. You’ve already written the songs, and we’re almost done with the album. I know you’ve got it in you.  And another thing. That,” Jade pointed to the urn with Christian’s remains, “needs to go.”

“It’s not going anywhere Jade.”

“I don’t mean throw it out. Do something special with his remains. Go to the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls or even India. You can’t move forward with his ashes in your apartment, in your life.”

___________________________________________________________

After another week alone in her apartment, Cassie booked a flight to Arizona. She was going to release Christian’s remains over the Grand Canyon. There was no specific reason Cassie chose the Grand Canyon. The national park was just the first place that popped into her head.

As Cassie stepped outside of the airport and into the sweltering dry heat of Arizona, she instantly began to sweat. She waited on the curb for the bus service that would take her to get her rental. Cassie booked her trip for one reason, to go to the Grand Canyon and release Christian’s ashes. She had no other plans.

For the night, Cassie stayed in a hotel located in Flagstaff, AZ, the city in which her plane landed. The next morning her alarm went off. She rolled over and covered her head with the pillow. Cassie was not ready to face the day, but she had to.

After getting dressed, she grabbed a quick bite to eat at the hotel’s complementary breakfast bar before heading out. She had a lot to think about as she drove through Arizona to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. She thought about how she felt her life was supposed to be. Cassie had hoped that she and Christian would one day get married. Now, that possibility was not an option.

Cassie’s eyes began to tear up. She pulled the rental car over to the side of the road and sat for a few minutes. Trying to calm herself, Cassie watched other cars fly by on the highway as she attempted to focus on happy memories she had of Christian. Those thoughts were enough for Cassie to keep going for the moment.

After driving alone in a car for almost two hours, Cassie arrived at the Grand Canyon National Park. She looked out across the great gorge. This was the perfect place to let go. Cassie opened Christian’s urned and tilted it on its side. She watched as the wind caught Christian’s remains. The ashes seemed to dance in the air away from Cassie and down into the depths of the canyon. She hoped Christian was at peace with the wildlife of Arizona as company.

As she drove back to her hotel, Cassie still felt heavy hearted. But she knew releasing Christian’s ashes was a step forward. Laying in bed at the hotel, Cassie recalled the last night she saw Christian. Then it hit her, he chose this, she thought. The night Christian walked out of her apartment and consequently out of her life, he chose to walk in the company of death.

Even though Cassie made the realization about Christian’s choice, his death still hurt like hell.

___________________________________________________________

Cassie returned to New York where she helped Jade complete her album.

“That’s it,” Cassie said after Jade sang the last note of the last song on her album. Three months had passed since Christian’s death and it took longer than expected to finish the album. But they did.

“I’m so happy that we’ve got this finished,” said Jade coming out of the booth.

“You and me both.” Cassie said.

“So, where are you headed now that you’ve finished working with Jade?” Richie asked as he leaned back in his chair.

“I don’t really know. I think I’m going to just play it by ear. Maybe I’ll do something like that chick did in Eat, Pray, Love. Although my story might just be Eat.” Cassie smiled.

It had taken Cassie a while to be in a place where she could smile again. But Jade was happy to see that she was getting there. Cassie was still closed off, but her friends could tell she was trying. And as Jade suggested, Cassie decided to take some time off before trying to go back to work full time writing. Though, as far as she was concerned, Cassie did not think she would ever find the inspiration to write songs again.

Will you ever talk again?

Oh boy, why you so speechless?

You've left me speechless so speechless

Some men may follow me

But you choose death and company

Why you so speechless? Oh oh ohhhh