Zhay sat and watched as the ICU personnel shuffled back and forth attending to the other tower victims. She began to feel some anxiety about being at this hospital. This was the last place she wanted to be, it was the site where her almost perfect life vanished. The last time that she was here, she lost him, she lost them...she lost her family. She willed herself not to cry but it was futile; as if reading her mind, Rosie reached for her hand and Chloe offered encouraging words. However, the memories of that day came flooding back to her like a flash food and she succumbed to the grief and sadness all over again.

Flashback one year prior

 "No Love I don't like it," Dax warned Zhay, "You have been working too much lately and after the scare we had a few weeks ago...no it's too risky."

Trying to get dressed while convincing Zhay that she still need time to de-stress, was a bad move on Dax's part, he couldn't find anything that matched, he thought as he tossed yet another shirt and tie on his valet. They had been arguing the point of Zhay going back to both the ER and the clinic to see patients for the past 30 minutes. However, to Dax it felt like hours.

"Dax, the doctor said that I am fine, all I needed was some bed rest and cut back on my work schedule. I've done that," she moved to kiss him but sense that he was still agitated. "If I feel the least bit fatigue, I will call it a day." She promised hoping that it would calm his fears.

"Zhay....please I don't want to argue about this anymore. It's Friday. Let me go into the office tie up some loose ends, so that we can enjoy a nice long weekend at the beach house on Tybee Island?" Dax offered, taking off another dress shirt and walking back into the closet.

"That sounds wonderful, I just need to check on a few patients at the hospital and will be ready to leave after lunch." Zhay bargained, hoping that this would end the argument.

"Damnit woman! Why are you so stubborn, why are you so hell bent on fighting me on this. No patients, not today; they can wait until you are 100 percent." Dax roared.

"Why are you treating me like a child? Zhay countered.

 "A husband showing concerned for his pregnant wife's well being, who I might add, passed out at work from exhaustion and elevate stress levels." Dax recalled, "Is that what you think that I am doing treating you like a child?"

Zhay cringed at that, she knew that Dax was terrified when he received the call from the emergency room staff; that week had been a highly stressed one. As a pediatrician occasionally assigned to the ER, she worked several challenging cases that had left her both physically and emotionally taxed.

"Dax I'm fine. I'll just go in for a few hours while you're in the office and meet you back here at noon?" Zhay knew that Dax way beyond annoyed, he had changed his clothes yet again, this time emerging from his closet in a green polo shirt and khakis. He rarely wore casual clothes to the office, so this was a clear indication.

Dax did not respond to her question, he continued dressing and tried to calm down. He kept asking himself was he being unreasonable, but he didn't think so. Zhay was about 6 ½ months and her pregnancy so far had not been an easy one. Her morning sickness seemed to last all day; she was constantly tired. Famished one minute and not hungry the next. The scare they had sealed the deal for him; he wanted her home, off her feet and resting. Though his office was only 20 minutes away from the hospital it was the longest drive of his life. He sent silent prayers to a god he hardly ever spoke to any more, in hopes that both his wife and unborn son were not in harm's way. Once the doctors learned that her collapse was a result of high stress levels and fatigue, they warned Zhay to alter her work schedule and get some rest; or they would put her on bed rest for the duration of her pregnancy. Dax silently wished that they would simply put her on best rest. He wanted her home, resting and relaxed awaiting the birth of their child. Why couldn't she understand that?

"Zhay, I am very concerned about you and the baby; Dr. Lewis warned us of the risks and for whatever reason you are still choosing to snub them.  If something happened to you or the baby ...Your patients can spare you for one day Dr. Daniels." Dax pleaded.

"Wow...my patients can spare me, but your clients have you on speed dial; they call you whenever they feel like it and you go running. My job is just as important as yours Dax." Moving closer to him, "I promise I won't be long. Besides I feel fine." Zhay soothed rubbing her belly, trying to diffuse the situation.

Dax looked down into her eyes and saw the fight in them, she was going to the hospital whether he wanted her to or not. "My clients.....come on Love, that's not the same and you know it."

"Well tough cookies. I'm going, my patients need me." Zhay stated firmly with arms crossed and fire in her eyes.

"And what about your family, huh, we don't need you?" Dax asked hoping that his pleas for her to stay home would be considered.

"Dax you are going into the office, Nora is here; I'll be back before noon, packed and ready to go." She was trying to comfort him but Dax was still rigid, "If I feel a yawn coming on I will leave, I promise." Zhay assured, kissing her husband and holding him as close as she could.

"You just don't get it do you Zhay? Your collapse put both you and the baby in danger; I'm sorry, but for me, your patients are not worth both of your lives." Dax stated bluntly, "But you'll do whatever you want to, right? With little regard for your health or the baby's; all in an effort to save someone else's life right?" He knew that his comments were mean spirited but hell, in his mind his wife and child were more important that her patients, who could be cared for by other doctors.

"Dax that's not fair and you know it; of course I care about our baby's health." Zhay said tearing up. Is that what he thought, that she did care about her health or the baby's? Zhay knew that Dax was being overly cautious and she couldn't really blame him. Truth be told she too had been scared by her collapse.

Dax was done talking; there was no reasoning with Zhay right now. He couldn't make her see or feel how scared he was. Had the doctors put her on bed rest for the duration of the pregnancy, he had already planned to work from home; just to make sure that both she and their son Austin were well taken care of.

"I'll see you later," Dax walked over to Zhay and kissed her, never making eye contact with her.

She had never seen him this tense before, he really was scared. His kiss was tentative and without feeling. His eyes were distant and icy. He had been a real trooper these past few days, making sure that she was comfortable and relaxing. Zhay knew that what he was saying made sense but it was just her nature to want to make sure that her patients were getting the best care possible.  They could spare her for one day, right?

"I won't go Ethan; I'll get us ready for our weekend away." She acquiesced to Dax's retreating back."You're right, one day isn't too much." He stopped moving and she immediately went to him. Resting her head on his back, she wrapped her arms around him, assuring him that she was ok and silently thanking him for his concern.

"In a month or so I won't be able to wrap my arms around you like this."  She teased. "Or wrap my legs around you either for that matter." They both laughed.

He turned around to face her, "Love, you are everything to me, if something happened to you....." Dax didn't get the chance to finish. He was silenced by her kisses. Forehead to forehead, lips to lips all of their assurances were made to each other in that moment and only then did she feel the tension start to leave his body.

"Nothing is going to happen to us. I'm fine, we both are." she took his hands, kissed the inside of his palms and place them on her stomach.  "I promise. We'll be ready to go when you get back. I. Love. You." Zhay promised and kissed him again.

"And I love you, Dr. Daniels." Dax gave her one last kiss before heading out of their bedroom. "Noon" he said walking down the stairs.

"We'll be ready." Zhay shouted from their bedroom door.

********************************************************************

Listen Stefan, I can't consult on that today. I am on my way out of town."  Zhay said reaching for another pair of capris, besides her scrubs, they were the only thing that she felt comfortable in lately. She moved back and forth between the Glamoire, the nickname Chloe christened her dream closet with, and her sitting room where her weekend bag was sitting. She promised Dax that she would be packed and ready to go and she was just about done.

"Come on Dr. Daniels, you are a whiz at infectious diseases and I think that we may have a serious case of meningitis on our hands; the patient is an 8 year old girl who has been in relatively good health until a few days ago. The signs are there but this is your area of expertise." Dr. Knight coaxed.

"Call Marci for a consult, she is just as capable." Zhay offered reaching for tank tops, her floppy sun hat, and swimsuit cover up that probably couldn't fit her right now.

"While Dr. Caste is quite good at what she does, she is the ER pediatrician; you know broken legs, pennies in noses, arms in casts, yada yada yada. Zhay, everyone knows that you are the expert when it comes to childhood diseases. 1 hour, I promise, and you can be on your way." Stefan begged.

Zhay looked at her watch and debated whether she could spare one hour to head over to the Children's ER at Mercy Hospital.  She knew that she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if the child died, because she wasn't properly diagnosed. However, Dax was going to be pissed, not because she wasn't ready to go by the time he got back home, but that she went to the hospital anyway.

He'll understand that this is an emergency; she thought with very little confidence but decided to go in anyway. "Ok ok...I'll be there in 20 minutes, but I can only spare an hour. I mean it Stefan."  Zhay warned.

******************************************************************

Dax rushed into the hospital not knowing what he faced. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind.  Fuck, he hated the smell of this place; it smelled life despair, grief, and sadness he thought. Zhay is ok, he kept telling himself.  What kind of accident could she have had at home? He prayed that it wasn't something serious. He feared that she might have become dizzy again on the stairs. He found her sitting there one evening because she got so faint. That's it, Dax thought, they'll move downstairs into one of the guest suites, so she won't have to trek up and down the stairs. He hoped that Zhay didn't take a tumble on the stairs. The baby, what about the baby? Please let them be ok Dax pleaded.

When he got the emergency call that there was an accident at home and they had been rushed to Mercy Hospital, Dax actually felt his heart stop beating. His hand started shaking and he was rendered mute. It wasn't until the voice on the other end of the phone kept asking if he was still there, did he realize that what he had just been told was not a sequence in a bad dream. He hung up the phone and blazed a trail out of his office and mumbled something to Rosie, he couldn't remember what.

Thank god for Rosie, she grabbed his phone out his hand and began calling Chloe and his parents. She insisted on driving to the hospital and kept reassuring him that everything was going to be fine. 

****************************************************************

"Stefan, please, please you have to save her?" Zhay cried hysterically, "Get Marci and Lucas have him prep the OR for her, please."

"Zhay, we are going to do everything we can to save her believe that, but you have to calm down. We don't want you going into early labor." Stefan reasoned, trying to get a shaking Zhay to sit down in the plastic chair in the back of Emergency Room #4. Zhay had doubled over twice already clutching her stomach and the ER team was worried that she was already showing signs of pre-labor.

"Cassie, please get her some water and watch her." The nurse nodded her head in the affirmative and tried to calm Zhay down. "Dr. Daniels they will do everything the can to save her; you have to believe that, but please you have to calm down, for the baby."  Cassie reminded her. "Oh god, Cassie, oh god, there‘s so much blood." Zhay sobbed and felt her stomach doing summersaults, she began hyperventilating, and Cassie with the aide of another ER nurse immediately went to work trying to calm Zhay down.

Just as Zhay's breathing began returning to normal, the ER door opened. Dr. Caste ushered in Dax and Rosie. Dax wasn't prepared for what greeted him in that room; both he and Rosie were shocked by the amount of emergency staff that filed in and around the tiny patient, barking orders; the amount of blood and the constant beeping of machines were overwhelming.  What surprised both of them further was the sight of Zhay sitting in the back of the room. She had a bandage on her forehead but from the looks of it was otherwise ok. What type of accident did they have at home that, left Zhay virtually unharmed but Lele fighting for her life? Dax wondered.

Before he could dwell on that thought, their eyes met and Zhay moved with swiftness to get to him. "Ethan, oh god it's all my fault, it's all my fault...." Zhay cried as she ran over to Dax and launched herself into his arms. He held on to her tight and could feel his heart beating hard in rapid succession. Dax was at a lost for words, as he peered over Zhay's head and watched the ER team frantically worked on their 2-year daughter. This was beyond bad "Love, what happened?" He finally croaked out, stroking Zhay's back in an attempt to calm her down. He was a bit unsure as to whether he wanted an answer from her, as he felt the tears building up, but pressed Zhay for an answer, "Zhay, honey, take a deep breath and tell me what happened."

Zhay looked up into Dax's eyes and saw the unshed tears glittering there; it broke her heart to know that they were in the ER watching their daughter fight for her life because of her stubbornness.

"I was, I..." Zhay wept as she tried to find the words to tell her husband that the one thing that he had asked her not to do today was the reason that they were in the dreary ER right now.

"I got a call from Dr. Knight for an emergency consult...I was packing and told him I couldn't consult today because we were headed to Tybee; but his patient was possibly facing a case of meningitis and you know I'd just published a paper on childhood diseases...." Zhay rambled on but was interrupted from her chattering, when Dr. Caste came over to update them on Lele's condition.

"Zhay, Dax  ..." Marci whispered with sadness in her tone, "I am going to be honest with you, Ledae has lost a tremendous amount of blood, we are trying to stem the flow, but so far we haven't been as successful as we'd like. We are trying to stabilize her long enough for surgery so that Lucas can go in and stop it." Marci looked at both Dax and Zhay and was trying to fight her own tears as well; she couldn't imagine what they were going through. "I know that is hard to hear, but her heartbeat is still very strong. Hang in there, ok. We'll do everything we can."  She moved in to give Zhay a reassuring hug and supportive words.

 "Honey, you need to sit down, you're shaking." Rosie suggested, guiding a crying Zhay back to the seat she'd abandoned.  Zhay nodded and slide into the chair.

"Ethan?" Rosie uttered softly as they both stood, "Do you have the name and number to Zhay's OB/GYN?"

Dax looked at Rosie a bit perplexed by her question, "Yes of course, Dr. Lewis is on Staff here, why?"

"I don't know if you noticed, but Zhay has been wincing and rubbing her stomach the entire time we've been here." Rosie quietly stated trying not to alarm an already frazzled Dax. "I think that Zhay needs to be checked out by her doctor."

Dax looked down at his wife, who was whimpering with her head propped up against the wall and her right hand lightly massaging her stomach. He then noticed the blood on her sundress and that her entire body was shaking. He gave Rosie his cell phone, "I'll call her and try to reach Barron and Alise again." Rosie said walking into the hallway to make the calls, leaving Dax to his attempts at calming Zhay.

Dax knelt in front of Zhay, "Love, are you all right?" Dax queried making sure that the stress of today's events weren't catching up with her; intertwining his fingers with hers, she continued rubbing her belly. "Do you need something, are you in any pain? Rosie left to call Dr. Lewis." He kissed her eyes and whispered sweet words in an attempt to calm her down.

Zhay stopped her movements and looked at her husband, really looked into his eyes. There was so much love and fear there, she could barely breathe. "I should have listened to you Ethan, I am so sorry. And now Lele..." Zhay cried harder and Dax felt his chest get tighter.

"I was on my way here for a quick consult." Zhay explained, but was quickly cut off by Dax. In his head, he needed to know what happened, but in his heart, he didn't want to know what happened. Based on everything that he saw so far and Zhay's condition he wasn't sure if he had enough in him to shoulder what they would have to face today. "Love, please just tell me if you are all right?" He knew that this added stressor could only harm their unborn son.

Zhay ignored his question but soldiered on with telling him about what lead to the heartbreaking events of the day.    "I was in the car when I realized that I left my hospital ID upstairs. I was on my way back out of the house when Lele woke up. She was being so fussy; I told Nora that I would hold her for a bit until she wasn't so cranky.  But when I noticed the time, I knew that I had to leave then if I was going to make it back home by noon."  Zhay continued shakily, "I handed Lele to Nora, but she started crying, I mean really crying, she was crying so hard, Dax; like I've never heard her before not even when she was a new born. She wanted to be with me... but I just ignored it; she wanted to stay with me, but I told her that I had to go help save another little girl and that I would be back soon. She just kept crying harder and harder, so I asked Nora to just take her so that I can leave." Zhay took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Zhay felt Dax's eyes on her and his grip on her fingers tighten; she knew that he was now crying too. "The irony, huh.... I am running off to save a little girl's life while ignoring the cries of my own daughter." Zhay lamented with a sad laugh and more tears. Dax didn't say anything, he couldn't; his mouth suddenly went dry and he felt his heart slowly breaking.

"I told her that she could come outside to wave goodbye to mommy and that seemed to quiet her down a bit. They were standing under the portico and Nora was holding her hand." Zhay blubbered as Dax moved to sit in the chair next to her, with his arm around her he encourage her to continue. "I got into the car and started to pull off when my cell phone rang, I was digging in my purse for it when Lele broke out of Nora's grip..."

"Oh god...No...No...No..." Dax whimpered. He didn't need her to finish, he could piece together what happened thereafter.

"I pulled off and then I felt it, I heard it.....I knew I hit something.... Nora came running over and I rushed out of the car and...." Dax reached for her and held her tight, their chorus of cries adding to the drab appeal of the ER. Though lost in her sadness, Zhay knew that Dax was crying just as hard as she was, she could feel the shuddering from his body. Both sat there crying for a moment, while watching the urgent movements of the ER staff who work to save their daughter. "Ethan, Ledae is laying here fighting for her life, because of me. " Zhay cried repeatedly, "I'm so sorry, why didn't I listen to you?"

After a few moments of their silent tears, Dax pulled Zhay into him holding her even tighter and promised that they would get through this. "Don't think about that now, Zhay. She is going to pull through this." Dax assured wiping away her free falling tears, while trying to flow the stem of his own.

**************************************************************

"Ethan, Dr. Lewis needs your consent for the procedure." Rosie advised while rubbing Dax's back. She couldn't imagine what he was feeling. He had been sitting at Ladae's bedside holding her hand for the past hour.  She looked like a little sleeping angel. Peaceful and serene, youthful and loving. Her mass of sable curls were all but hidden by bandages, save for a few at that snuck out at the sides. Her golden bronze complexion barely marred by the poking and prodding that she had endured all morning. He sat silently begging her to open her amber eyes. He knew that she wouldn't but he wasn't ready to visit that place yet, acceptance.

"Rosie, I don't think that I can take much more.....This has been the worst day of my life, what did I do to deserve this....." Dax cried as he kissed his sleeping angel yet again. "Is this my punishment for all the pot I smoked in college? Wrecking mom's jaguar that summer? Is it because I quit going to Mass, huh? Going to Cancun for Christmas that year without telling anyone, what Rosie, tell me. I know what it was, the piss-beer that we gave the pledges the year that I was president of my fraternity....Why did this happen, why did this happen to us?" Dax screeched unable to find any comfort in Rosie's embrace.

"Oh honey, you didn't do anything, you didn't cause this. This is one of those times where we just don't have an answer." Rosie held him closer as his cries got louder.   "I know that this is hard, Ethan; probably the hardest thing that you'll ever have to face. But you have to dig deep and find some strength. Zhay and Austin need you right now. Zhay still hasn't regained consciousness."

Shortly after being told that the ER staff had done everything they could to save Ledae but it was to no avail, Zhay fainted and went into premature labor. Dax knew it was not a good sign that his wife was still unconscious and they had to act fast to save both her and the baby. Dr. Lewis had spent the past hour making sure that everything was in place to ensure that both mother and son would make it through early delivery ok.

Dax knew that Rosie was right but looking over at his daughter, he knew that he was near empty. Zhay and the baby had to be fine, he couldn't loose them all today, it would kill him. Dax stood up taking in deep breaths and rubbing his temples, "Where is Dr. Lewis?"

"She's in the hallway, and her team is ready to go as soon as you give the ok." Dax kissed Rosie; she had remained by his side through the entire ordeal. Leaving him only to check on Zhay.

"Rosie, I don't want her to be alone; could you stay with her until....." Dax barely got out. "She hated the dark and could only sleep alone if one of us sat with her until she drifted off." Looking back and forth between her and his princess, "Could you also call Grandpa Jake, I know he maybe busy but I..."

"Anything you want sugar," she kissed him and dabbed a hankie to his moist eyes. Her own tears on the verge of raining down her cheeks. "And Grandpa Jake is on his way."

Dax started to say something else but lost his thought when his father entered the room.

"Son, Dr. Lewis is waiting, they need to operate quickly."

"Let her know that I'm on my way out." Barron looked from Dax to Rosie. Rosie gave him a looking to let him know that Dax was ok and would be there in a minute. Barron nodded and left.

Dax leaned over to his sleeping angel, still clutching her tiny baby fingers in his big daddy paws and whispered, "Daddy loves you so much princess and nothing is ever going to change that." He gave Ladae one last kiss, and then headed out of the door.

**************************************************************

"They are so tiny." Chloe uttered as quietly as she could to Alise as they stood watching the feverish work of the NICU team.

"4lbs 3oz for Austin Jakob and 4lbs even for Lucas Blake." Alise said as she looked on at the barely there twins.

"I can't believe that no one realized that Zhay was pregnant with twins. No wonder her morning sickness seemed to last all day and she was so tired all the time." Chloe murmured.

"Dr. Lewis thinks that Lucas was hiding so snuggly behind Austin that was the reason he never showed up on any of the sonograms. " Barron offered, apologizing for sneaking up on the chatting women.

"Where's Ethan?" Alise asked Barron, "Sitting with Zhay."

*************************************************************

Dax sat and watched his wife. Zhay had completely succumbed to events of the day. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get her to calm down, her panic lead to her early labor. Though everyone was worried given her fragile condition, everything went as smooth as possible for Zhay's delivery. The doctors felt that she was no longer in danger and that she should come around soon. Dax wasn't sure that he was ready for that. He knew that no matter how gentle he was with her, there was nothing that he could say or do, to soothe her spirit or assuage the guilt that she was feeling.

He needed to go and check on his sons but couldn't leave her now; if she woke up alone he knew that she would be frantic.

"Dax, if you want to go and check on the twins. I'll sit with her." Chloe offered quietly entering the room, as if reading his mind.

"Thanks, I just don't want her to..."

"If she wakes up, I'll send Rosie or Alise to come get you. I promise. I won't leave her alone and besides the boys could really benefit from having their dad nearby cheering them on to a speedy recovery."

Dax smiled at that.

"Oh and cool names by the way I'm sure Zhay will love them."

"I hope so; the only one we agreed on was Austin after your dad. The others were possible middle names; we just couldn't decide on it. But it worked out that we could use all three huh? Jakob after Rosie's dad, Lucas after me and Blake...well that was Zhay's #2."  Dax laughed softly still staring at his wife. "I tried to tell her that Blake was an even wussier name than Ethan, but she liked it..."

Chloe watched his hesitant movements and stalling tactic, "Dax, go to your sons, they need you, Zhay won't mind."

"I know Chloe, but honestly....I am so scarred, I don't think that I can't watch them....." Dax choked out.

"Don't even think about it; that is not an option not today.   Austin and Lucas need you to teach them the Daxton way of getting things done. The Dax I know wouldn't be sitting in here crying like a virgin giving it up on prom night; he would be making shit happen. So get out of here and go make shit happen, go coach your sons out of ICU."

Dax finally looked away from his wife, and at Chloe, he got up and pulled her into a big hug, kissing her cheek; she was fighting her tears, and he saw it. "Thank you, I needed that...I won't stay too long....I know the NICU is doing all that they can." She hugged him back, "You know for a minute there you sounded just like Janis." Dax teased, attempting to lift both of their spirits.

"Now you really should leave." Chloe responded rolling her eyes at the comparison. "You know that she is on her way here, don't you? She probably flew the plane from London to New York, herself just to get here." They both laughed because they knew that Janis would probably break all sorts of FAA rules to get to Atlanta to be with Zhay.

*************************************************************

"Mom! Please...just leave me alone....please. Just for a few minutes....please." Dax barked, he knew he sounded harsh and that she was only trying to comfort him; but he didn't want her comfort or her hovering or her words, they were useless to him. What he wanted was a dream that was slowly dying before his eyes. "Of course son, take your time." Was Alise's somber response, as she eased away from him and out of the room.

Dax still sat on the floor of the NICU, where he slid after watching Austin take his final breath; knowing that in all likelihood Lucas was probably barely breathing too.

When he woke up this morning, he only wanted to enjoy a long leisurely weekend playing on the beach with Zhay and Lele. Never in his wildest nightmares was he prepared to face this onslaught of tragedy in a single day. He'd even lost track of the time, but all he knew was that in less that 24 hours, he'd lost his 2-year old daughter, watch his wife deliver their second child and first son; only to learn 2 minutes later that they'd been blessed with another child, a son as well; he sat and watched his sons struggle to live and a few hours later breathe their last breaths. He couldn't cry anymore. He didn't think that he had anymore tears left. They only emotion he now felt was anger. Anger at himself for not forcing Zhay to quit work; anger at Zhay for leaving the house when she said that she wouldn't; anger at Dr. Lewis for not deeming Zhay's pregnancy as high risk; anger at god for the cruel way he toke his family away from him. Angry with everyone who kept telling him that he needed to be strong for Zhay? Dammit! What about him? There is only so much a person can take before they reach their boiling point; and he was bubbling over. Whom could he draw strength from right now?

**************************************************************

"She's asking for you son, you need to be the one to tell her. You're the only one who can offer her any comfort right now." Grandpa Jake stated ignoring the NICU staff that moved around them.

Ethan had adopted Rosie's father Jakob as his surrogate grandfather. Grandpa Jake was the stuff that old school grandparents were made of firm but fair, loving and supportive. Grandpa Jake was a giant of a man, literally and figuratively. Tall and strong, quiet but stern and had shown Dax more love and support than his own grandfather had. His most memorable memory of him was when Dax was about 11 or 12 and chided Rosie to take him on a visit to her parent's farm just outside of Savannah. He loved going there, he and the other children had free reign to do just about anything. On one visit, listening to one of the older cousins, who thought that it would be fun to sample some of the white peaches from one of the other neighboring farms, he learned just how firm and fair Grandpa Jake was. They'd scored their goods and were on the way back to the farmhouse when a fuming grandpa Jake greeted them.  After he scolded them about dishonesty, stealing and hard work, he toke off his belt and reinforced his lecture. He didn't take pity on anyone. Up until that day, no one had really held Dax accountable for his actions. That summer each offender was assigned a Saturday to work on the neighbor's peach orchard. Dax laughed every time he thought about the first butt whipping he got, at the hands of Grandpa Jake. Until this day they never found out how he knew and Dax refused to eat another peach; but that lesson did help him to become a more honest and hardworking person.

"Grandpa Jake, I don't know if I can face her." Dax replied honestly, "How do I tell her that they're all gone?"  

"You'll find the words. They maybe hard to say but just hold her close and assure her that you'll both get through this, together."

"Everyone one wants me to draw from this never ending supply of strength, I have to tell you, I am empty...I have nothing left to give."

"Of course you do son, the strength you need is right here next to you and just outside that door; that's why I'm here, why we are all here. To help both of you get through this." Grandpa Jake with his arm around Dax's shoulders did actually make him feel a lot stronger in that moment. This was why Dax loved him; here they were mourning the loss of his children on the floor of the NICU, without pre tense or concern for those who watched. Grandpa Jake just let Dax be; he spoke only when engaged and never pressed Dax to give more than he was ready to. Dax doubted that Barron or Archer would have been as accommodating.

****************************************************************

"Dax, Dax, please tell me are they ok, Chloe and Alise...won't tell me anything..." Zhay begged, pulling the IV tube from her arm and getting out of bed.

Dax started towards Zhay, insisting that she lie back down. Holding her close, he kissed the top of head and attempted to answer her question. "Love, the babies...Austin and Lucas, they...."

"Please, Ethan, Please just tell me that they are ok?" Zhay wailed. She felt her husband inhale deeply and exhale a slow breath. She eased out of his embrace searching his eyes for an answer; but the look in his weary pools told her what he couldn't say aloud.

"Oh god... oh god.... not them too...oh god... no...no...no...what have I done, I killed my babies...I killed my babies... oh god what have I done...? It's all my fault....it's all my fault.  Zhay screamed repeatedly.

"No Love, this wasn't your fault." Dax cried over and over, knowing that nothing he could say to her would ease her pain or silence her anguish. He simply held her close and prayed that they both would make it through this grim chapter of their lives.