Sora's Dad-Shiro Takata (Okada Yoshinori)

 Sora's Mum- Alicia Takata [deceased] (jennifer hudson)

Young Sora (ming lee simmons)

Sora Takata(Crystal Kay)

Teru (Minzy)

Nao (haruna-kawaguchi)

YungJi (taeyang)

Iconic [MinSo, YunHwa, YungJi, HyunShik, JaeMan] (bigbang)

 Chapter one: Eternal Memories

a/n: unfamiliar words in italics are being spoken in Japanese.

“She's not coming back is she.”

“No, she's not.”

Shiro looked down at his daughter, three years. It had been three years since he last saw her, and now here she was right next to him, beautiful dark chestnut coloured, slightly wavy, hair cut into a bob framing her small chubby cheeked face. His daughter, iie, our daughter, he thought as he looked at the picture of his wife.

“Why?” He looked down. “Why did she have to die. Mum, she wasn't bad. She never did anything wrong. I thought only bad people got punished. So why did she have to leave me?”

The pain and guilt that he felt as his 6 year old daughter spoke those words weighed heavy on his heart.

“Sometimes things happen, good or bad, because they are out of our hands.” He crouched down beside her and held her hand tightly. “Your mother was a good person, and what happened was an accident, but I promise you, she loves you and even now she's watching over you, so you'll never be alone. And I'll be here with you too.”

“Promise?” The girl held out her little finger, just like her mother.

“Promise.” He said as he wrapped his finger around hers.

He turned, surprised to see his mother standing behind him.

“Oka-san, what are you doing here?”

“What does it look like, I’m paying my respects to your wife. I may have disapproved of your marriage to her, but I did not wish for her to end up...” her eyes flickered down to the small girl clinging on to her son's hand. Light brown skin, with dark brown hair, and matching dark almond shaped eyes, the child was dressed in the traditional black yukata and hakama. It was the first time she'd seen her grandchild. “...like this.” The child looked up at her, her eyes filled with a mixture of fear and curiosity. 'hmph' she thought 'she reminds me of Shiro when he was a child'

“My granddaughter, I presume.”

“Yes oka-san, this is Sora. Sora this is your grandmother.” Sora hesitated, looking up at her father for reassurance, before taking a step forward.

“Are you really my grandma? Did you know my mother well? Its just that I've never seen you before, and mum always told me not to talk to strangers no matter what.” It was a simple question, yet it was one that shocked Mrs Takata.

“Yes I did” she knelt down in front of her grandchild so that they were face to face. “Honestly I did not treat you mother very well, I guess I was stubborn and stuck in my old ways, and that's why even though we are family, you've never seen me before.” She glanced up to her son before continuing, “I regret my past actions and the fact that now I can not apologise to your mother personally, but I want you to know that I am sorry. And that from this day on you will be fully recognised as a member of the Takata family, and that if anyone says otherwise, they will have me to deal with. With this promise I wish that you forgive, and accept me as you oba-san.”

The child smiled brightly. “Mum says you should always accept a persons apology.”

Mrs Takata laughed “Your mum is a wise person.” She stood to face son. “Shiro, I hope you can also forgive me and your father.”

“Oka-sama of course I can.” There was no hint of hesitation in his voice, if anything the past month had taught him life was too precious to waste holding onto bad feelings. He hugged her briefly. “I've already made all the necessary arrangements for Sora to come live with us in Japan.”

“Good, it's time for her to come home, and to learn about her Japanese family heritage. When we get back I’ll arrange a meeting with the council.”

“Sora sweetie, why don't you go say your last goodbyes to your mother.” She nodded her head, as he reluctantly let go of her hand and watched as she went to her mothers picture.

“The family council have already been informed of the incident?” Shiro asked.

“Yes, an investigation has already started your father is trying to track down any leads as to who did this. But the child -Sora- she remembers nothing?”

“No, they found her screaming next to her mother's dead body. She was covered in her mothers blood shaking,” His voice began to crack with hatred for the people who did this to his family. “She was taken to the hospital, she wouldn't talk for days, she was barely eating or sleeping because of the nightmares.” Memories of his daughter thrashing in her bed screaming flashed through his head. “I think it was too much strain mentally, for a child her age, because one day she woke up and just forgot the whole thing. The last thing she remembers now is her mother taking her to the park. So I decided it was in her best interest to tell her the truth about the accident, and her mum being run over. Even so, I just didn't want to press her for details.”

“I understand, know that we will do everything possible to find out who did this, we've already started to use our contacts with the police to track down any leads.”

“Arigato oka-san.”

“Why don't I take Sora for a bit and give you a chance to say goodbye to Alicia.” She went over and took Sora by the hand gently, whispering a few reassuring words, before escorting her out of the room.

Shiro turned to face his wife for the last time.

As he looked at her picture many fond memories of Alicia flooded his mind. The first time he meet her in London. Their first date that eventually lead to him kissing her in the rain. Their love for each other had grown so quickly that when his time in London was coming to an end he could not bare to part with her, so instead proposed to her and married her, going against his families wishes.

They didn't understand how he had come to love her so much but she was his soul mate, his everything. He remembered the night he had told her who he really was, and look of pure acceptance on her face, that made him feel stupid for ever keeping it from her. But when she fell pregnant, things had changed. Not his love for her, no, that would never change even now. Alicia had always had a strong personality, and had never let his family's disapproval of her get to her. But she refused to have her child brought up in a hostile environment, having experienced that in the past herself, she knew the effects that had on a person. They were afraid for their child, afraid that she would grow up in a family that did not accept her, that’s why they had made the decision to live separately, and that’s why he had only seen his daughter twice before today, once at her birth and again a few years later. And yet here they were.....

“Alicia my love, sleep peacefully knowing that you protected our daughter, and that she is safe with me. I promise I will keep her safe from harm. Everyday I’ll tell her stories of you and me, so that you will always be a part of her life. I love you” He whispered the words softly, making no effort to stop his tears from falling.

London

“For the last time otou-san I’ll be fine, sheesh. You really need to stop worrying. Seriously, I am a grown-up now, you know- eighteen going on nineteen. Plus its been forever since I’ve had the chance to take a break, well more of a change in environment.”

After debuting as a singer three years ago, Sora's life had become completely hectic. At first it was mostly working in the studio recording songs, and touring Japan preforming on stage. But as her popularity and reputation grew, she found herself doing modelling, adverts and even appearing on TV. She was surprised at how fast her popularity had risen, but grateful to her fans and supporters for following her, which meant that she worked as hard as possible as thanks to them.

And although this was originally meant to be a holiday it was now mostly because of work. The fact that she was just invited by a Korean entertainment company, called YG, to appear and feat in a music video with one of their top groups— was just the cherry on top of the cake. It seemed like the perfect opportunity for her, since she wanted to start expanding into the rest of Asia, and eventually beyond.

“I know, it's true your most recent album is still topping the Oricon charts, however, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to worry about you. You're my only daughter Sora, it's only natural that I worry about someone so precious.” He smiled and hugged her tightly. Time really has gone by quickly, he thought, as he let her go.

“Otou-san, I'm going to miss you, and everyone.”

“I know. Now quickly, you better go before anyone recognises you, we don't want a repeat of what happened in Kyoto.”

“Hai! Bye-bye! I'll be back before you know it.”

With that, Sora grabbed the handle of her suitcase, reached into her pocket to double check, for the hundredth time, that she still had her passport and ticket, and headed towards security and check-in.

England here I come, she thought.

* * * *

“Finally, home sweet home I guess.”

The flight from Japan had been a long one, eleven hours and 30 minutes to be exact. And although she had been bumped up to first class when her name appeared on the check in screen, she was still exhausted. After putting her hand luggage down to one side, she went round turning on all the lights before checking that all her things, that had been sent early, had arrived.

Okay then, first things first, food, she thought, finding that she was still hungry despite the food served on the flight. Hmm, fridge's empty and its like nearly nine in the evening, might as well go out and get something. Not bothering to unpack her things she grabbed her key's off the coffee table and switched most of the lights off before leaving to search for dinner.

Being in central London and Covent garden at that, Sora had plenty to choose from, but after walking for awhile she decided to settle with a small modern looking Italian restaurant. After all she did love pizza.

“Hi there, are you ready to order?” The waitress, a young girl, who looked to be around seventeen, beamed at her brightly.

“Yep. I'll have a vanilla milkshake to drink, mozzarella sticks for starters and a four cheese and tomato pizza for main. Thanks.” She handed the menu back to the girl.

“Ok, I'll get the milkshake made now your starter and main shouldn’t take too long.”

Sora took a look around, It wasn't too busy. A couple of families..........young couples........and a seriously cute group of guys, korean she thought. Before getting distracted by the arrival of her delicious looking vanilla milkshake. Oishi![delicious!] She thought as she took her first sip.

* * *

a/n: when the guys are speaking to each other, you can assume that they are talking in korean ^^

“Yah! I'm hungry can't we go get some food now?” MinSo looked at his hyungs with his best puppy dog faced expression. “butakamnida~[please]”

“MinSo-ah, when are you not hungry” HyunShik laughed.

“Yah maknae [=youngest in a group]. I'm seriously starving right now.” MinSo joked.

“I guess it has been a long day at the studio.” YunHwa said as he walked up beside MinSo.

“Plus we might as well make the most of our time in London. What do you think Yung?” JaeMan asked turning to his left.

“I think food sounds good. How about pizza?” YungJi said, as his eyes locked on to a small Italian restaurant not too far away.

“Pizza time!!” MinSo exclaimed racing ahead of the rest.

The guys walked into the restaurant and were directed to a round table towards the side.

“YunHwa and YungJi sunbaes, I'll leave ordering up to you, seeing as you two speak English the best.” MinSo said as he studied the menu intently, just as the waitress approached them.

“Good evening. Are you guys ready to order?”

YunHwa cleared his throat before speaking. “Can we get five diet cokes, and three large pizzas- margherita, spicy sausage and peperoni please.”

“S-sure.” The waitress said, feeling a bit flustered. Omg his accent is so cute, she thought as she rushed off to the kitchen.

“Haha I think she likes you YunHwa-ssi.” MinSo teased.

“Whatever” YunHwa smirked “its just nice having the freedom to walk around and not get recognised every two seconds.”

“Yeah so true” said JaeMan “I mean don't get me wrong, I love our fans, but it's nice having a bit more freedom for a change.”

“Yeah its better then having to be chaperoned everywhere by manager-ssi.” HyunShik commented. “Right YungJi? YungJi....earth to YungJi! Yah!”

“Huh? Ah sorry HyunShik I was just a bit distracted.” HyunShik glanced behind him, realising all too quickly what or rather who YungJi had been staring at so intently. He turned back to face the others. “She's pretty cute.”

“Who's cute?” MinSo turned around to see. A girl, light cinnamon brown skin with beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

YungJi had noticed her the moment she walked through the door. Long dark brown hair, with long bangs cut so that they framed her face and highlighted her deep chocolate almond shaped eyes perfectly. She had a good sense of fashion to, black skinny jeans that showed off her luscious curves. With a dark purple vest top, grey blazer and black ankle boots. She looked good, that was for sure, but the thing that had caught his attention in the first place was her smile. He'd never seen anyone with a more beautiful smile, that seemed to increase as she received her milkshake. Mental note to self: vanilla milkshakes make her happy, he thought.

“Sunbae.....sunbae.....umm I think he's zoned out again.” YungJi blinked at the sight of a now slightly concerned MinSo waving his hand dramatically in front of his face.

“Yah! MinSo stop it, babo [idiot].” What if she sees, he thought.

“Why don't you just go up and talk to her” JaeMan asked smiling mischievously.

“I don't know...I mean she's probably waiting for her boyfriend or something.” The idea of her having a boyfriend made his heart beat faster in protest.

“YungJi this is why you've never had a girlfriend before, seriously.” YunHwa laughed.

“I just don't want to embarrass myself.” He watched as the waitress brought the girl her food. Maybe she was eating alone, and possibly single? He thought. No, just forget it YungJi, why would she be interested in someone like you. He decided to just concentrate on eating the food in front of him. And yet he still couldn't stop himself from glancing at her every now and then.

* * *

Oh my gosh so stuffed. Sora stretched her arms out with pure happiness that she always felt whenever she ate good food. Haha, if grandma could see me now she would definitely have a problem with my unladylike etiquette.

She beckoned for the girl to come over, “Can I get the bill please? Thanks.”

As Sora was waiting for the waitress to come back, she couldn't help but look over at the group of Korean guys again. She had been glancing at them, or rather at one of them, frequently. And could of sworn that occasionally he was looking at her too. But after years of bullying because of her 'bigger' size (well in comparison to the average Japanese girl) in junior school, and although she had since lost some weight (thanks to the hours that she spent practicing her dancing in high school), she still didn't have a lot of self confidence when it came to herself. It was only when she was preforming that she felt different.

“Here you go.” Sora looked up at the waitress, “thanks I’ll just pay by card.”

She paid, not forgetting to tip the girl, picked up her things and headed out the door.

Just A Feeling

YungJi stood up abruptly as he saw the door close behind the girl. He was already regretting not speaking to her. I mean he didn't even know her name, and the idea of not seeing her again because of his cowardices felt stupid. Was he really just going to let her walk away?

“Hey YungJi, if you're looking for a reason to go after that girl then, I think I just spotted one.”

“Huh?”

“Over there, where she was sitting, I'm pretty sure those are keys on the floor.” YungJi followed JaeMan's pointed finger. Not wanting to miss his chance he ran over, grabbed the keys and was out the door in a second.

At first YungJi panicked, but after jogging down the street he finally spotted her.

“Hey! Hey!” The girl turned around looking slightly confused. He stopped about two feet from her. “Hey...ummm” suddenly he was feeling very nervous again “ah-numm I think these are yours.” He held his hand out quickly, with the keys.

“O my gosh, thank you so much, god, I can't believe how stupid I am sometimes. They must of fallen out when I went to get my purse. Thank you so much, seriously, this is the kind of stuff that just always seems to happen to me.” She reached out for the keys.

“It's okay, I just wouldn't want you worrying or finding yourself stuck somewhere alone.” He scratched the back of his head nervously as he always did when he rambled.

“Seriously thanks-” She paused and looked at him with those liquid brown eyes of hers.

“YungJi, my name's YungJi.” He smiled.

“Thanks YungJi, I'm Sora by the way.” She stuck out her hand to shake his, “It's nice to meet you”.

“You too.” He blushed slightly as his hand wrapped around hers, and was shocked to feel a wave of disappointment when she abruptly let go. But before he could psych himself out he asked “Hey um, I know this is kind of sudden but, could I get your number?”

She hesitated. “Sorry, I would but I don't have a phone right now.” He looked down slightly wounded, well if that wasn't an obvious excuse and brush-off then what was. “And I'm really not lying, I just came to England today, from abroad, so I haven't had a chance to get one yet.....” She trailed off at the end realising that she was talking a bit excessively. He looked her straight in the face.

She looked sincere enough “It's okay, sorry for bugging you.” He moved to turn away from her, not wanting her to see the obvious disappointment on his face.

“Wait!” she grabbed his arm “Are you free tomorrow?” The words seemed to cascade out her mouth in one quick burst.

“Tomorrow,” he went through the group's schedule in his head “from two yeah.”

“Then how about you come phone shopping with me? That way you'll know I'm definitely telling the truth.” There it was again that beautiful smile.

“S-sure, that sounds great.”

“Then, two o'clock by Covent garden station?”

“Cool.” He smiled.

“Cool.” She smiled. “See you tomorrow then.”

“Tomorrow.” YungJi watched as she walked away, routed to the spot with delayed shock. He had a date, with her. He ran back to the restaurant and his hyungs, with a massive smile plastered on his face.

“I guess it went well then.” JaeMan laughed.

“It went more then well, hyungs, I've got a date tomorrow.” He couldn't contain the excitement in his voice.

“Yah! Well done YungJi-ssi.” YunHwa hit him on the back.

“What's her name then? When do we get to meet her.”

“Sora, her name's Sora. And you, MinSo-ah will not be meeting her any time soon.” MinSo pouted sarcastically.

“Sora, isn't that Japanese?” HyunShik asked, wondering why that name sounded so familiar.

“Never mind that, details details, how did you ask her out exactly?” YunHwa asked enthusiastically.

YungJi paused for a second, and then laughed out loud. “You know what, I think she was the one who asked me out.”

They all burst out laughing. Yep that definitely sounded right.

* * * *

Sora was still in shock from last night. Had she really just asked him out like that? She had barely been able to concentrate on the phone to her dad last night. She just couldn't believe it, she couldn't believe that he was interested in her at all. As she sat in the café she couldn't help but think about him, YungJi...... she just had this feeling about him. He seemed so gentle, nice and just honest. Exactly what she needed right now. But not wanting to repeat past mistakes, she had already decided not to tell him about her idol career for now.

She took a long sip of her iced vanilla latte, pausing to check the time on the clock. 15minutes before she was due to meet him, she was about 5 minutes away...

Just when she was debating whether or not she should buy another blueberry muffin, whilst staring out the window, she suddenly spotted a familiar face. She rushed out the door.

A/n: both Sora and Yutaka speak fluent Japanese and English so they tend to converse in a mixture of both, translations in square brackets :)

“Sempai! [Senior, a term of respect] Yutaka sempai! Chotto matte!!!~” [wait a second!!~]

“Oh, Sora-san! Hisashiburi da ne? O genki desuka?” [oh Sora! It's been a while right? How are you?]

“Hai, genki desu. Yutaka-san wa?” [Yeah, I’m good. How are you?]

“Um. Maa-maa desu.” [Yeah. I’m fine.]

“Taro and Hayato wa doko desu ka?” [Where are Taro and Hayato?]

“Oh they are at the studio.”

“Hontoni! [Really!] How comes you guys are in London?”

“Doping Panda are doing a couple of concerts, are next one is at the O2 Academy Islington.”

“Wow~ sugoi.” [Amazing.]

“How comes you're here Sora, I didn't know you were doing shows in London already.”

“Iie [No], actually I’m here to shoot a music video for a Korean idol group.”

“Omedetou! [Well done/Congratulations!] I'm glad to see that you're progressing, I remember when you first entered the Japanese music scene. You have real talent Sora, and you work hard.”

Sora blushed and bowed slightly. “Arigato sempai.” [Thank you, senior.]

“How 'bout you come and perform a song or two at our next concert? It'll be good experience for you performing on a foreign stage”

“Maji?! [Really?!]” Sora couldn’t contain her excitement.

“Of course, I know Taro and Hayato have missed you.”

“Arigato ne.” She couldn’t stop herself from smiling. And then she remembered YungJi. “Ah! Ima nanji desu ka?” [What time is it now?]

Yutaka looked down at his watch, “about 2:05pm.”

“Uso?! Shit! Ikanakutewa narimasen [I’m sorry I need to go], I'm meant to be meeting someone now!”

“Ah, I understand~hayako!” [~Hurry!]

“Sorry, I don't have a phone right now but if you get your manager to phone up Mio I'll definitely be at you're next concert!!”

“Hai, hai! Ja mata ne !” [Yeah, yeah! I’ll see you later!]

“Bye-bye!!!” Sora bowed quickly and then ran off as fast as she could.

* * *

She's not coming......she's not coming, god you idiot! Why did you even get your hopes up about this, she was obviously way out of your league. He thought back to last night. There's just something so unusual? Special? About her....her features are so unique, so beautiful. Her eyes, her smile...so perfect. He sighed. YungJi couldn’t stop himself from pacing back and forth in front of the station, he had been a nervous wreck all day, throughout the morning meeting he had been so spaced out that YunHwa had, had to nudge him whenever their manager or the choreographer was directing a question at him.

“HEY! Hey, YungJi!” He felt someone grab his shoulder. Sora— she stood, her hand still on his shoulder, the other on her hip, desperately trying to catch her breath and compose herself before speaking. “I'm so sorry for being late, really I am forgive me pleaseeeee?”

Forgive her? YungJi was just glad that she was here at all. “Of course, it's fine, I only got here like five minutes ago anyway” he lied. He'd rushed off the minute the meeting and formalities were over with and had gotten there a good five minutes before they were meant to meet.

“I ran into a friend of mine from Japan, and just lost track of time, sorry again.”

“Ah no problem.” To be honest, at this exact point in time, YungJi was way too busy looking her up and down, and then back up again. She looked so effortlessly pretty, his definition of ulzzang. Her long dark golden brown hair lay loosely against her shoulders, dark grey skinny jeans, an oversized purple knitted jumper, matching purple hi-top converse and a cute grey printed Harajuku bag to top it....he just couldn't get enough of her.

“Then? Should we get going?” She looked at him expectantly.

“Yeah lets go, how about Oxford high street?”

“Ok, brand new phone here I come!!” She beamed.

* * *

“Hmm.....this one doesn't look too bad, I'm not much of a blackberry girl though, but I like the fact that it's purple.” YungJi smiled to himself, purple must be her favourite colour....

“How about a touch screen phone like the new iphone?”

“Yeah I was thinking about it, all those apps look fun, I’ve never had an iphone before. My last phone was a flip phone.”

“Really? What type?” YungJi asked as he browsed the various phones carefully.

“Ah, you would probably know it, I had an LG lollipop 2, but I got it custom made in purple.” YungJi almost burst out laughing as he remembered the photo shoot that his hyungs and him had done, and the over the top colourful clothes that they had had to wear. He almost opened his mouth to tell her about it but quickly closed it again. After talking it through with his hyungs, he had already decided that it was, at least for now, better that she didn't know about him being an idol, things would just get to complicated.

“Yeah I know of it, it's very popular in Korea.” He said, trying to play it cool.

“It was a present, apparently several popular idol groups did the advertising for it. But I never got round to watching it to be honest, but I like the phone.”

“How bout this one?” He picked up a touch screen phone with a qwerty keyboard that could slide out.

“Ah, kawaii. It looks good, the best of both worlds I guess. Excuse me!”

“Hi there, how can I help you?”

“Can I get this one please? In purple.”

“Yeah sure no problem. If you just follow me to the till.”

“Ok.”

“Do you want this on a contract or pay as you go?”

“I'm not here for long, soooo, pay as you go.”

“Alrighty~ here you go. Your number is printed here, and as part of the special promotion it comes with prepaid £20.”

“Thank you.” Sora took the bag from the cashier, and turned to face YungJi.

“Here. For you.” She reached into the bag and took out the receipt with her new number printed on it. “You did ask right, da ne?” She smirked playfully.

“I-I yeah, yeah I did. Thanks.” YungJi pulled down on his cap slightly in attempt to hide his blushing face. “Then....are you free for the rest of the day? We could go get some lunch?” He asked her.

“Lunch sounds more than good.”

 You and Me

Sora and YungJi stood, quiet close together due to the typical weekend overcrowding of the underground, in the far left of the carriage.

“It gets quite crowded at this time.” YungJi said, suddenly missing the luxury of being driven everywhere.

“Yeah, but this is nothing compared to the underground in Japan, seriously never again during peak times.” Sora shivered dramatically at the memory.

YungJi couldn't stop himself from laughing at her over the top expressions. “So you grew up in Japan then?” He had been curious all day but didn't want to be rude, she seemed to know Japanese, it was reflected in her features and her name definitely was.

“Yep! I'm actually half Japanese, on my dad's side, and half black British Caribbean, on my mum's side.”

“Wow” This was the first time YungJi had ever come across a mix like that, he was kind of impressed, all though times were getting better now back then it must have taken a lot of courage to break the mould. “That's really cool, I mean coming from two distinct heritages, like you said earlier, the best of both worlds.”

“Yeah it is kind of cool isn't it. I actually lived here in London until I was six. Then I moved over to Japan, so I kinda see Japan as home.” She smiled to herself, but YungJi felt like there was so much more behind the smile. “How about you?”

“Me,” YungJi paused “there's not much to say really, both my mum and dad are Korean, Seoul is where I was born and raised.” he said with a certain amount of pride and fondness in his voice.

“I've always wanted to travel to Korea. So what dr10;–” Just When Sora was about to ask what he did for a living the generic YOU ARE NOW APPROACHING PICADILLY UNDERGROUND STATION rang throughout the carriage.

People began to gather their things and head towards the sliding doors, just when Sora took a step towards the door nearest to them, a guy near her turned and managed to hit her in the face with his backpack, knocking her off balance and straight into the arms of a concerned looking YungJi.

“Sheeba [Shit]. Yah! Man what's your problem! Be more aware of your surroundings, you just knocked her in the face.”

“Dude I’m sorry, I didn't mean to hit your girlfriend.” He turned to face Sora, “Really I'm sorry.”

“Ah it's OK really, YungJi, I'm fine really.” Still slightly pissed off YungJi nodded his head slightly at the guy, his way of saying fine. Seeing the doors open he gently took her hand, as if he might accidentally add to her pain, and guided her through the crowds making sure that she didn't get hit by some idiot again while he was around.

It wasn't until there were outside by Trocadero, that it hit him. Did he say girlfriend? Girlfriend?!…......I like the sound of that......does she? God this is all driving me crazy!

“You can let go of my hand now, I'm fine, really.” YungJi had completely forgotten that he was still holding her hand and abruptly let it go, slightly embarrassed about zoning out on her.

* * *

Sora didn't actually want him to let go of her hand, she was just afraid that if he kept holding her hand and standing there with that cute confused expression on his face she would suffer from a mild heart attack. Seriously, her heart was beating ridiculously fast and she was 100% sure that it was because he was looking too damn sexy in those slightly dark blue baggy jeans, white vest top, black jacket and cap. Girlfriend?......This is driving me crazy!

“Lunch right? Where do you want to eat?” She said trying desperately to detach herself from her crazy thoughts.

“Lunch, right well, how about Hot Pot?”

“Shabu shabu? Hmm I do love the sliced meat and vegetables, though I usually eat it a lot in winter.....”

“Then just Korean barbecue instead? I know a place nearby that has the best meat.” He smiled knowing full well that this girl was definitely a foodie like him, that wouldn't be able to resist.

“The best you say. Well that's an offer that I can't refuse.” She smiled at him.

“Ohmygod– this really is the best meat ever!” Sora said whilst helping herself to another serving of marinated spicy pork and lettuce.

Unlike Sora, YungJi spent more time just watching her eat then actually eating himself. Her face was just too cute, she looked so happy just sitting there enjoying the food in front of her. Seeing that she was almost done he just couldn't stop himself.

Using his own chopsticks, he picked up a piece of marinated barbecue chicken, and then wrapped it with some spicy mixed vegetables inside a piece of lettuce. “Here~” he extended his arm over the table. Sora, who felt like she was in food heaven, happily opened her mouth in a cute 'ahhh' shape. And then munched merrily on the delicious food. The idea of her eating from his chopsticks, made YungJi seriously happy, he just couldn't explain why he was getting so sappy over her.

“Oishii~~~” Sora exclaimed. God she's so cute, he thought.

Sora finished and then looked at him with a very embarrassed expression. “I'm being so greedy, I’m so sorry, it tastes so good though.”

“Why are you apologising?”

“Because, you know, I'm not exactly holding back am I, I mean your probably used to girls who eat really small amounts and that....” she said rather quickly because of her nervousness. Looking down slightly, she thought, and girls that are like a size zero, I mean I see enough of them at home in Japan, so you must see loads of them in Korea too....

YungJi thought about this. Sure, thinking back on it, when they did hang around with girls, usually they did act very, what was the word, delicate? More like forcefully cute, eating minuscule amounts whilst always fishing for compliments about how good they looked. Although this certainly wasn't the case for all girls in Korea, it mostly was for the girls that hung around them. Nah, there was a reason why he wasn't attracted to those type of girls.

“Sora” she looked up “You. Are. Not. Being. Greedy. ” “Seriously, I like the fact that you don't hold back around me, it makes me feel, special, I guess. So don't go hating yourself, OK?” He meant every word, he was never usually so bold around girls especially when it came to skin-ship. But with Sora it was different, he loved how cheerful she was as a person, the way she smiled, made him want to be the reason why she was smiling.

She nodded, “OK”.

“How about we go get dessert?” He reached into his pocket for his wallet and got out his credit card. “My treat,” she opened her mouth to say something in protest “no arguments” and then closed it again.

After he paid for the meal, they walked side by side out of the restaurant and onto the streets and headed for the main part of Chinatown. As they walked YungJi, remembering the earlier warnings about going around 'high risk areas' as his manager called it, reached into his pocket and put on his sunglasses and adjusted his cap so that it covered more of his face, in an attempt to conceal his identity. Sora, with similar thoughts running through her mind, also reached into her bag to find a pair of sunglasses and tired her hair up in a messy top bun, a hairstyle she never really wore when in front of a camera.

As if he felt like she might become suspicious he turned to face her commenting “It's really sunny today huh, and here I thought that British weather was supposed to be bad”.

“Yeah” Sora agreed quickly “strange right.”

And then they continued to walk in a comfortable silence.

“Hi welcome to Candy Café, you can just take a seat over there by the window, here's our menu. Are you guys returning customers?”

“No it's our first time coming here.”

“Here are loyalty cards for each of you, so you can earn some free things and money off. Okay then just call me when you've decided what to order.”

“Hmm the food here looks so good.”

“Yeah desserts from Hong Kong are really tasty.”

“I'm not sure what to pick too much choice!” She said getting slightly frustrated with her inability to make decisions.

“Then...how about these three?” he pointed at the different items on the menu.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Excuse me, can we get these three please. Thanks.”

“Ah! I have a good idea to pass the time while we wait, hold on a second.” Sora started rummaging through her bag and brought out her new phone. “Ok, hold on.” She then proceeded to put the SIM and battery in the phone and turned it on. “Ok, ready!”

Ready for what, he thought slightly confused, and then it dawned on him.

“.....3.....2...1—SMILE!” Snap, the fake shutter noise went off. “Kawaii. Ahhhh you look so cute in this picture,” she laughed to herself “OK, this has got to be my wallpaper now.”

“Wait, let me see first.” He reached out for the phone. “No way, this picture is so bad. I'm halfway in between smiling and confusion.”

“That's what makes it so funny, in a good way. Now pass it back.” She said pouting slightly.

“Never, I'm deleting it.” But before he could figure out how to use her phone, she reached over and yanked it out of his hand laughing. “Hey~”

“Then let me take a proper one.” YungJi thought about this carefully before agreeing.

“Okay then but,” he got up from his side of the table and sat down next to her “this one should have both of us in it.” He smiled mischievously, as she blushed slightly.

“Then......3....2...1.” snap. “Ah this is a really good one.”

“Then message it to me, here let me” he reached for her phone and added his number to her list of contacts, a small feeling of pride that he was the first guy, not caring that she had just brought the phone that very afternoon. “...........there now I’ll just send it............cool all done.”

“Cool” she smiled. Their food arrived soon after.

They stood together outside Leicester square station, “I had a really nice time today.” She said, feeling really cliché, and as if she had just stepped out of the latest Japanese drama.

“Me too.” She watched as he scratched the back of his cap, and wondered if it was an unconscious habit of his. “So, maybe we could do this again at some point?”

“Yes definitely, so just call me then?”

“Yeah I will, I promise.”

Unsure of how to end the, the what she thought. Date? Or was this just a casual meet up between friends? God, I'm definitely calling Teru and Nao. “Ok then, see you again at some point, bye-bye.”

“Bye Sora.” He watched as she walked away

Confused much?!

“So what do you think Teru, was it or wasn't it a date? Because I’m more then confused right now.” Sora lay on the sofa in the living room, with a half eaten bowl of instant ramen on the coffee table, talking to one of her best friends.

“Hmm, well I think that there's an argument for both here. I mean the phone shopping part is more of a casual meet up right?”

“Right, that's what Nao said.”

“But....”

“But??!”

“Well he asked you out for lunch, and paid for it, and paid for dessert to. Which seems way to generous for a just friends meeting up thing and more like a date thing. To me anyways~”

“Yeah that's what I thought...”

“However, I think you're missing the most important factor.”

“Which is?”

“Well isn't it obvious? What do you want it to be? A date or not a date?”

Sora sat upright and thought about it. “.......I guess....well....if I had to chose, I'd want it to be a date. But I’m not sure if I’m ready to go back there again.”

“Sora about K—”

“Ergh lets not talk about him, it's been a year now, I just want to move on.”

“Yeah I know, just, take it slow with this guy then. Oh and when exactly will you tell me his name and what he looks like. Details girl, I need details!”

Sora couldn't help but burst out in a laughing fit. “Not until things are more set in stone, OK.” she said still tearing at the eye.

“Ok. Oh—OMG, I almost forgot to tell you, I heard from Mio, the group your working with is ICONIC, the Iconic!! And also Mio told me to remind you to look up these guys before we get there tomorrow. But seriously, I can't believe you don't know them already. God your so useless sometimes! How can you not know the Iconic oppas.” She squealed down the phone. “They debuted in Korea around the same time you debuted in Japan. I mean I know you've had a lot going on, this past year especially, but you'd think you would have taken more of an interest.” Teru being half Korean half Japanese was a dedicated fan of both Korean and Japanese music.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It's not like I haven't listened to them on your ipod, I’ve just been so wrapped up in this hectic bubble these past couple of years. I mean I keep myself up to date with what's happening in Japan, that counts, ne? Hmmmm, but I'll defo look them up tomorrow, in the evening probably, I need to go for a run in the morning. I ate way too much today, Nao scolded me about it earlier. Anyhows~ I'll see all you guys when you get here tomorrow night then.”

“Yep, I’ll bring your favourite sweets and stuff~”

“Aww Teru you know that’s why I love you so much. Thanks for talking to me, and sorry about waking you up so early over there.”

“No problem, what are best friends for, if not to advise her girl friend on boy drama. Anyway, see you tomorrow then, bye-bye.”

“Bye have a safe flight!” She hung up the phone.

* * * *

“Oh! Hyung~ you're back already. How did it go? Did you guys have fun?”

“Yeah we had fun, thanks for telling me about those good places to eat MinSo, trust you to know the best places to eat, even in a foreign country.”

“No problem bro, what's she like then?”

“She's just, a really great person. She has a great personality—”

“And she's really pretty right.”

“Yah! Of course she is, but there's more to her then that. She's just everything I need right now.” He said finding it frustratingly hard to put his emotions into words.

“She must be someone special for you to take an interest.” JaeMan walked in to the room sipping on a bottle of water, “Maybe I should make a move on her myself.” He smirked at YungJi, knowing full well that he was winding him up.

YungJi was not amused, just the thought of someone else let alone one of his hyungs getting that close to her was unbearable.

“YJ, calm down man. I was only playing, you look like your about to kill me.”

“Ah YunHwa and HyunShik are going to bring us takeaway,” MinSo said trying to lighten up the atmosphere, “when they're done with recording at the studio. What do you guys want? I'll text them our orders.”

With the prospect of food on the horizon the mood in the room changed instantly, and the three guys sat in the living room and set up their Xbox ready to play a match, completely forgetting about the previous bad atmosphere.

* * * *

*what kind of dream is this...*

Sora ran at a comfortable pace listening to her mp3, along the road. She'd been jogging for almost an hour now, and felt relieved to be exercising again. It always helped to clear her mind, and getting out the flat was a good idea right now, as it kept her from checking her phone every two minutes like some desperate school girl.

*…...sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare......somebody pinch me ….... turn the lights on....*

She turned the corner, figuring that she was about 20mins from home again.

*…...my guilty pleasure I ain’t going no where, baby as long as you're here I'll be floating on air.....*

She hummed along to her current favourite Beyonce song, as she turned the corner into a side street.

*…......and I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby.............

….......either way I don't wanna wake up from you........*

It was at this point, when the song was coming to an end, and the music began to fade out. That she realised that someone was running up behind her, but before she could even turn around to see, she felt two arms wrap around her chest with an iron grip, sending her heart into panic mode.

* * *

“OK, YJ. That was good. J-Man why don't we record your part now, and then you MinSo. By then YunHwa should be back.” Teddy, another member of the YG family, was helping to produce the songs in their latest album, including the song Dream Girl and accompanying music video they were filming here in London. “HyunShik isn't recording today, he's doing some interviews instead right?”

“Yeah he always ends up doing press stuff. Anyways I'm ready to go,” JaeMan walked in to the recording booth, and put on the headphones. The music started, he tapped the side of his leg as he counted to eight before starting to rap his lyrics.

“YungJi, YungJi!”

“What?!”

“Nothing, just, why do you keep staring at your phone so intently? It's kind of starting to worry me. You've been like that since last night, we even ended up losing against the others when we were playing on the Xbox last night because you weren't concentrating.”

“Yeah, I guess I have been obsessing slightly. It's just that, well I said I'd call her. But I just can't. Every time I think about it, I start to get nervous, it's just embarrassing.”

“Hmmm, I see. Well then just don't call her.” MinSo said sitting back down on the small sofa.

“I can't do that, be serious, I did say I would.”

“I mean just leave it until your ready to call her. Don't rush it, your putting way too much pressure on yourself.”

“I guess—”

“I'm sure she won't mind you not calling back straight away.” He laughed, “In fact I bet you're the only one stressing over it!”

“Yeah yeah, ok, I get it.”

“MinSo-ah! It's your turn in the booth.” JaeMan called.

“Araso [okay/I understand]!!” He got up and swapped places with JaeMan.

YungJi looked up at the sound of the studio door opening. “YunHwa, your finally back, what took you so long? And why are you smiling so much, what have you been up to?”

“Nothing, really, I just ended up getting a bit lost, but I got the demo CDs.”

“OK.” YungJi said still slightly curious, past experiences told him that when YunHwa smiled with that mischievous glint in his eyes, something was up, maybe it had something to do with a TV prank. All he knew was that, he would be seriously paranoid for the next couple of days.

“How's your love life going then?” YunHwa asked as he took a seat and put the CD's to one side.

“Love life?” Teddy spun around in his chair. “YJ man, you have a girlfriend? Well it's about time bro.” He got up and clapped him on the shoulder “So tell me is she hot? More importantly does she have a sister?” They continued to joke around and tease him before eventually getting back to work.

After that recording continued as usual, the guys would take turns in the booth singing or rapping to the soundtrack. Occasionally they would mess around and distract one another, but they spent most of their time listening back on each others work making sure the quality of the recordings were up to the high standard that their fans deserved, and they had come to expect over the years.

By the end of the day they were exhausted but happy at the progress they had made with the song.

“Good job guys” Teddy lay back in his chair “how 'bout we go out and get some drinks?”

“That sounds like a good idea, in fact, having already anticipated this I went ahead and booked a karaoke room for everyone.”

“Wah! Good thinking YunHwa, it's been ages since we went for karaoke.” Suddenly MinSo didn't feel so tired.

“Sounds good.” JaeMan started to pack up his things, “Don't forget to call our maknae, he'll be pissed if he gets home and finds that it's empty.”

“Of course I won't. YungJi?” YunHwa looked at him expectantly.

“Hmm I don't know” really I should get round to calling her back, YungJi thought.

“Yah! YungJi trust me, if you didn't come with us tonight you'd really miss out. Good food, drinks, singing.....” YunHwa wrapped his arms around YungJi enthusiastically.

“Well OK yeah. It's not everyday you get to hear Teddy rap drunk.” He joked. And maybe a drink will help me to relax a bit before I call her.

 Drunken Confessions......and the scent of oatmeal

“Food food food! Yummy~” MinSo couldn't stop eating the different dishes in front of him, they had just ordered around fifteen different types of dim sum and had gotten some Japanese and Korean dishes ordered from the restaurant next door. “I'm not complaining or anything but why did you go and order all this other stuff too?”

“Well I thought that our soon to arrive guest would appreciate the thought.”

“Guest? A friend of yours?” Teddy asked reaching for some shrimp tempura, and taking a sip of beer.

“You could say that.” His phone vibrated, “In fact you guys will have the pleasure of meeting my friend very soon. They'll be here in five minuets or so.”

“Seriously YunHwa, you are always full of surprises,” YungJi picked up his beer and took a gulp before eating some fried tofu and steamed pork dumplings. “How 'bout we get this party started” he picked up the mic and threw it to JaeMan.

“Alright man, how about a bit of Usher to start us off!” JaeMan said in English.

10 minuets, four songs, three beers and countless amounts of dim sum later and the party was already in full swing. Everyone was enjoying themselves so much, especially MinSo who was coming towards the end of his song Insomnia, the Korean version by Wheesung. That it was only Teddy who looked up at the door at the faint sound of knocking.

And it was only Teddy who jumped out of his seat when Sora opened the door tentatively and walked in to the private karaoke room.

She wore a cute dark grey and black striped puffy shorts overalls, with a black long sleeved top underneath. Knee high long socks with a purple floral pattern and black ankle boots, her hair was down and loosely curled so that it looked effortlessly wavy. Damn~ this girl looks good, he thought.

“Sora!” YunHwa ran up and hugged her tightly.

“YunHwa-ssi, thanks for inviting me.” She blushed slightly at the sight of six very good looking guys suddenly staring at her wide eyed. “Um, hi everyone, I guess you probably don't remember me—”

“Yah! Of course we do, your Sora, YungJi's girlfriend right?!” MinSo greeted her eagerly, not noticing how much she was blushing, not from his comment, but from confusion.

“This is your girlfriend?” Teddy turned to an extremely embarrassed YungJi, “Damn bro you have great taste.”

“Leave it to YunHwa to invite YungJi's girl without YungJi even knowing” HyunShik couldn't contain himself.

“Yah! Guys seriously stop with the girlfriend thing, you're all obviously overwhelming her right now.”

“Um guys” JaeMan stood up to join them “it's rude to speak all in Korean when the person your greeting and talking about so fondly doesn't understand Korean at all, from the confused expression on her face.”

They all froze for a second before turning to face Sora, who had been standing there awkwardly throughout the conversation. YungJi breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that she wouldn't have realised that they had kept on calling her his girlfriend, he had completely forgotten that they were even speaking in Korean.

* * *

“Sorry about that, I'm Lee JaeMan.” He said confidently speaking English with only a slight accent. “It's nice to meet you.” Apparently they had just realised that they had been speaking in Korean. And although Sora had picked up some from Teru, they had been speaking too fast for her to keep up.

The other's soon followed JaeMan's example and introduced themselves quickly.

“I'm Kim MinSo.” She noticed that his English was a bit more broken up and that he had more of an accent, but he was seriously cute, in a younger brother sort of way. “Nice to meet you.”

“Min HyunShik.” She reached out and shook his hand, “It's nice to meet you.”

“I'm Park HongJun, but people call me Teddy” He shook her hand, “You probably don't recognise me I'm a friend of theirs.”

“And I'm Kim YunHwa, duh, and you obviously know Park YungJi.” YunHwa hugged her warmly, to YungJi's annoyance.

She turned to face YungJi, “I hope you don't mind me just coming like this, it was kind of an unexpected invitation to say the least.” She cringed slightly at the memory of 15 years of martial arts training paying off.

“Of course not!” he said with a bit too much earnest “I'm glad you're here”.

“Yah! You really pack a punch.” YunHwa laughed, “you guys should have been there, I was on my way back from getting the CD's when I saw Sora out running. I tried to call out to her but she had her earphones in so she couldn't hear so I—”

“So he grabbed me from behind and sent me into panic mode—”

“Yaaah~” he said in a cute whinny voice “I didn't mean to scare you like that but really, did you have to elbow me in the side and flip me over your shoulder and onto my back. I thought I was going to die.”

The rest of the guys, including YungJi, to Sora's embarrassment, stared at the two of them before bursting out into a fit of laughter.

“HAHA!! Serves you right YunHwa-ssi!”

“Yeah man! Good for you girl.” Teddy clapped her on the back.

“Maybe now you'll learn not to jump people from behind like that.” YunHwa pouted sarcastically at JaeMan's remark.

“He didn't hurt you did he? You must have been really surprised.” YungJi asked.

She saw the concern in his eyes and smiled at him reassuringly. “Nah, I'm fine. It just really shocked me, I don't like feeling vulnerable like that. But 15 years of mixed martial arts means, even if I don't look it, I'm a force to be reckoned with.” They all laughed.

“Then why don't we get back to the party” HyunShik picked up his beer “help your self to the food Sora, and YunHwa I believe its you turn on the mic.”

Sora took a seat in between Teddy and YungJi and quickly helped herself to some sushi, tempura and fried custard dumplings. YungJi laughed.

“I'm glad your enjoying the food.” Sora blushed.

“Yeah, I didn't get round to eating lunch today. So I'm super hungry!!” She said the last bit in her most over the top kawaii voice. Making YungJi laugh even more.

“About not calling you—”

“Oh it's ok, YunHwa already told me. About you losing your charger and your battery dying. No worries, I'm sure it'll turn up at some point.” YungJi breathed a sigh of relief, and made a mental note to thank him in the future. Maybe he would by him a new pair of trainers.

* * *

“You guys are really good I mean it.” Sora had just watched YunHwa and MinSo sing along to a Justin Timberlake song, and was now listening to Teddy and JaeMan rapping to an old Notorious B.I.G song. “Your voices sound professional,” and she should know being a singer herself she'd met many average sounding people, and very few people she would class as good, “have you ever tried? Being a singer I mean?”

YungJi thought about this, he didn't want to lie to her, but at the same time he wasn't sure if now was the right time to tell her everything. Really, he was just afraid of scaring her away. “Tried? Yeah I guess you could say that.” That wasn't a lie, was it?

“What hap—”

“Hyung!! It's our turn, hurry up~” usually YungJi would get annoyed at HyunShik for interrupting him, but for once he had really great timing.

“Coming!!” He turned to Sora in apology.

“Go on, I really want to hear you sing.”

“Then what do you want to sing hyung?”

“How 'bout Kanye West's Stronger?”

“My English isn't amazing, but I know that song well enough, alright. Lets do this.” They bumped fists jokingly.

*Work it, make it, do it,

Makes us harder, better, faster, stronger!*

Sora watched in awe as the two preformed, despite the song not even being in their first language, they sung it with so much charisma, that she just couldn't take her eyes off of them.

*Let's get lost tonight

You could be my black Kate Moss tonight

Play secretary, I'm the boss tonight*

Together they started to freestyle some basic dance moves, she found it amazing how they could feed off of each other's energy like that, making it seem choreographed.

* And we'll do anything when the time's right

Ugh, baby, you're makin' it (harder, better, faster, stronger)*

She felt her heart beat faster, as her eyes locked with his. It was like he was singing for her and only her. As if no-one else was even in the room.....

*Don't act like I never told you

Never told you [x4]

Never over [x8]*

She couldn't stop a wave of disappointment followed by awe wash over her, when the music faded.

“Sugoi!!! You guys both sing amazingly. I mean all of you guys, I can tell how close you all our just by the way you each interact with one another when performing.”

“Yah! Unni, this is nothing—Ow!” JaeMan hit MinSo before he could say anything else.

“Here” HyunShik passed his mic to her “everyone else has sung, so it's your turn now.” He grinned at her.

“Sing sing, sing sing!” MinSo clapped his hands.

Well I guess it's only fair, she thought, now what's a good party song?? Ah!~I know. “Ok then mina-san for your entertainment I will now be singing Keshas's Tic Tock.” Already feeling the surge of confidence she always got when on stage, she bowed dramatically.

*Wake up in the morning

Feeling like P Diddy (Hey, what's up girl?)*

*Got my glasses

I'm out the door

I'm gonna hit this city (Let's go)

Before I leave

Brush my teeth with a

Bottle of Jack

'Cuz when I leave for

The night I ain't coming back*

Being familiar with the song she sang every word with confidence and feeling. She liked the playfulness and rebellious vibe of the lyrics. Without hesitation she danced along and acted out some of the actions described, just having fun with it all.

*Don't Stop, Make it pop

DJ blow my speakers up

Tonight, I'mma fight

'Til we see the sun light

Tick tock, on the clock

But the party don't stop, no

Whoa whoa oho [x2]*

As soon as the music stopped she posed, slightly out of breath, but feeling exhilarated from the chance to preform freely, without the usual pressures that came from being an idol. The guys all clapped and whistled loudly.

The night continued on in the same manner. Sora had never had so much fun, truthfully she had only been to karaoke rooms a few times before back home. Because of her busy schedule as a trainee and then as an idol, she had never had the chance to develop a 'normal' social life. As she sat next to YungJi, now listening to a rather drunk Teddy rap, she began to think about how tired she was, not because of this night, but because of the past year, and the toll it had taken on her

As her thoughts began to drift, and her unconsciousness took over. Her eyes started to close and she fell asleep unknowingly against YungJi.

* * *

It was only when YungJi felt Sora's head on his shoulder that he realised she had fallen asleep. She never stopped surprising him, how she could fall asleep with all the noise he didn't know. Trying not to disturb her too much, he reached over for his coat. Carefully, he moulded the jacket into a make shift pillow and placed it on top of his lap. He then guided her head down so that she was resting on his lap. After a few minuets, much to YungJi's happiness, she had snuggled up against his chest in a foetal position, so that her knees were against his side. Every now and then he would reach down and stroke her hair and pat her forehead soothingly, concerned by the fact that sometimes it looked as if she was having nightmares. Apart from that he was just content with looking at her, however weird that seemed. To him her sleeping face was a beautiful image.

“Ah~ hyung did she fall asleep?” MinSo asked in Korean.

“Yeah, I'm going to take her home in a second, I just wanted to let her rest for a bit. Pass me her bag please, I'll see if her address is written somewhere.”

“Araso hyung.”

“JaeMan-ah can I borrow your car keys, Sora fell asleep I need to take her home. You guys can get in Teddy-ssi car instead OK.”

“Sure no problem, drive safe.” YungJi caught the keys JaeMan had just thrown at him.

* * * *

“Sora.....Sora......Sora...” YungJi unbuckled his seatbelt and reached across trying to get Sora to wake up.

“YungJi-ssi” she looked at him, slight confusion on her sleepy face “where am I? Uh, did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah you fell asleep” he laughed softly “I thought driving you home would be best.”

“Home?” she looked out the window “how did you—”

“I found your address written on a piece of paper in your purse. Sorry I didn't want to wake you.” He blushed slightly.

“Its fine, thanks for driving me back. Sorry I fell asleep” she scratched her head out of embarrassment and quickly wiped her mouth, just in case she had drooled. “Then, I better get going.” She reached out to unlock her door.

“I'll walk you to your door.” He reached for her bag in the back seat and then quickly got out and walked with Sora to her front door.

“Again thank you for looking after me, I appreciate it.” She smiled up at him and reached out for her things. He couldn't take his eyes off her, he had always said to his hyungs that it he ever found a girl that he really liked he wouldn't let anything stop him. Including himself, and his stupid nerves.

“Sora,” her dark hazel eyes looked up into his “I— can I be your boyfriend?”

It was at this moment that Sora realised something. YungJi was the guy for her. Never throughout her eighteen years in this world had she ever heard that before. Usually the guy would say things more along the lines of 'will you be my girlfriend' or 'be mine'. Instead he came out with 'can I be your boyfriend' as if she was too good for him. She made her mind up, I won't let the past hold me back.

“My boyfriend huh?” she almost laughed affectionately at his anxious expression. “I really like the sound of that. Me being your girlfriend that is.”

“Really.” He took a step closer to her, so that there was barely two inches between them. “Then~” he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the cheek, and then gently on the lips “it's official.”

“~yep official” she breathed softly. She blinked several times before her thoughts finally connected again “I better get going, it's kind of late.”

“Ok, I'll call you tomorrow then.”

“Tomorrow” she punched the code into the door and practically ran up the stairs.

YungJi almost laughed out loud at her fast get away, but instead as he turned to get back into his car, thought about the soft feeling of her skin, the taste of her soft lips, and the faint smell of, oatmeal and cinnamon?

Surprises

“Girl you are in trouble.” Teru sat on the stool by the breakfast bar.

“Mio wasn't too happy to see a note with the words 'There's food in the fridge, I'll be back later, don't worry' . You know what she's like, with the whole 10:00pm curfew thing.” Nao sat next to Sora on the sofa.

“I know I know, but what was I meant to do, be rude and turn down his offer.”

“Well yeah, pretty much.” Teru gave her that sarcastic look. “I mean I wouldn’t, but your the good one remember.” Sora laughed at that.

“Well I'm just glad that something came up at the studio, at least this way by the time Mio gets back and checks up on our flat, I'll be fast asleep in bed.” They all laughed at her carefree attitude.

“Talking of bed I need my beauty sleep, an eleven hour flight really dries out the skin, and we all need to be up bright and early to get there in the morning.” Nao took out her over night sheet face mask and handed one to each of them. “As your stylist and all round beauty guru I feel obligated to make sure you take care of you skin Sora, and as your friend Teru I feel the same, you want to look good for you fav idols, ne?.”

“Thanks Nao, and you're right, I'm exhausted. If it weren't for my daily oatmeal face washes in the morning, I’d definitely wake up with bags under my eyes.” They all got up wished each other good night, and headed to their separate bedrooms.

Right before Sora feel asleep she suddenly remembered what she was actually meant to do that evening, Shit! I never looked up the group ICONIC, argh, Mio's going to kill me, I should have just listened to Teru all these years~ Oh wells I'll just wing it.....somehow... She drifted off to sleep, her mind preoccupied with thoughts of her first kiss with YungJi and excitement about their new, and surprising, relationship.

* * * *

“Yaahh!! Hyung~”

“What is it MinSo-ah?”

“I'm hungry, really did we have to get here so early, I didn't get a chance to finish my breakfast!”

YungJi looked at MinSo with a stern gaze “MinSo-ah, if you had just woken up when YunHwa tried to wake you, then you would have had plenty of time to eat your kimichi soup with rice and your new box of cereal, what was it called again, coco pops. But you didn't. So, next time don't sleep so much.” MinSo pouted while the others laughed at YungJi's tough love.

“Glad to see you guys are all in good spirits this morning,” Mr Choi walked in to the conference room carrying a couple of files in his hand “despite, the fact that you all went out last night and did not return till well after curfew.”

Busted!! They all thought.

“Seeing as you all managed to get here on time, I'll let it pass this one time. But if it happens again, I won't be so lenient. Do you understand?” They all nodded. “Good. Now, back to more pressing matters, in about five minuets you will be meeting the Japanese idol who you will be working with for the next month, and her acquaintances.”

The boys were all excited, they hadn't heard much about the girl they were meant to be working with as it had only been finalised last minuet, but Mr Choi had assured them that they would all get along well.

“The girl, you never mentioned her name.” JaeMan pointed out.

“Really?” That doesn't sound like me, “I have been busy lately, it must have slipped my mind” his Blackberry started buzzing “she's just coming up now. Her name is Sora.” The guys all froze all thinking the same thing, it can't be, can it?!

The door opened.

YungJi sat rooted to his chair in shock. There, right in front of him, stood Sora. His Sora. Her hair tied up in a cute messy bun, black v-neck t-shirt and skinny blue jeans with grey ankle boots. She looked effortlessly beautiful, like she always did to him.

“YungJi!!!” She looked at him blatantly confused.

“Sora...” he was still in disbelief, and from the looks on the rest of the guys faces, so were they. Nobody said anything for what felt like forever but, in reality, was mere seconds.

Mr Choi coughed and switched to speaking in English, “Do you guys know each other?”

Sora blinked before answering “Errh~ Hai, we happened to meet each other already” she neglected the fact that technically she was dating YungJi “but neither of us new the other professionally.”

“I see, then why don't you, your manager, and your friends take a seat.”

“Ah of course,” she sat down opposite him “sorry for being rude. This is my manager Mio.” She indicated the young women sitting to her right. She was Japanese, with long dark brown hair tired up in a ponytail with a full fringe. She looked both smart and trendy in her matching black skinny fit trousers and blazer and white blouse. There was something in her facial features that he thought resembled Sora, but he couldn't quiet figure out what it was.

“It's nice to meet you, I look forward to working with you all.” She smiled.

“This is Teru, a close friend of mine who was recommend by my company as a dancer for the MV.”

“Hi everyone, it's nice to meet you. I can't wait to learn some of your amazing choreography I'm a big fan of your choreographer and have followed your group since debut.” Teru said looking trying to look as chilled out as possible. She wore a long sleeved purple top with a grey sleeveless hoodie, skinny jeans and a pair of multicoloured Nikes.

“And this is Nao, another close friend of mine, she's my stylist.”

“It's nice to meet you.” Nao bowed her head slightly. She had spent what seemed like hours choosing her outfit. And had settled on a pair of black heels, dark grey skinny jeans, a white blouse that had floral detailing and a short sleeved grey blazer, with her hair held back with a floral printed scarf. As she pointed out on her blog, floral prints were her favourite summer trend.

“It's nice to meet you all.” Mr Choi said whilst taking a seat at the head of the table. “Well then, let me introduce the guys, who make up the group ICONIC.” the guys all stood up and bowed.

“This is YunHwa, the leader of the group” YunHwa flashed a wide smile. He stood confidently in black skinny fit trousers, a white shirt, black cardigan and matching black tie. And to top it off a black bowler type that sat slightly crooked on his deep chocolate brown locks of hair. He was definitely embracing the British culture.

“YungJi, he raps as well as sings.” For a moment Sora forgot the situation she was in, she was way to busy checking him out. Damn he looks hot today! Dark blue jeans, with his belt buckle showing in front of his white vest top, and a bright red leather jacket. She loved the way his long black hair was tied back in a bun, with some strands loosely hanging. A hairstyle not so different from hers, she thought. When his eyes met hers, she couldn't stop a big smile from forming on her face, as she remembered last nights kiss and confession.

“JaeMan, like YungJi he also raps and is the oldest member of the group.” JaeMan looked unfazed by the mornings revelations as he stood with a confident smile on his face. He wore a bold plaid print raincoat, with a burgundy brown cashmere jumper on top of a white shirt and some skinney light brown chinos. Sora thought that, if it was anyone else, they would definitely look odd. But on JaeMan it just looked good. Very high fashion, she thought. The man definitely knew how to dress himself.

“MinSo, he's definitely the personality of the group” this was definitely reflected in his choice of clothing. A bright orange sleeveless leather jacket on top of a white printed graphic tee. Cropped trousers showing off his stripped socks and orange hi-top sneakers. He looked like he had just stepped out of a Uni Qlo advert.

“And HyunShik, who is the youngest member of the group.” HyunShik wore a pair of skinny burgundy chinos, a white shirt and a waistcoat with a matching burgundy bow tie. He had a cheeky grin on his face, still trying to hold back his laughter after seeing the expressions on Yung's and Sora's faces when they first saw each other. In truth he had been shocked to, but more then that he felt that things were going to get more interesting, and that idea excited him.

The guys all sat back down.

“As a representative of YG entertainment, and the manager of ICONIC, I just wanted to thank you for taking up this offer, despite it being very last minute.”

“Really it's our pleasure. We already had other things scheduled here in London, so this partnership is good for the both of us. I heard that you planned on working with another singer in you company.” Mio asked politely.

“Ah yes that's right. She's part of group called 2ne1, Park Bom, but she fell ill so we were left with a dilemma in our hands. It was then that an old friend of mine contacted me with your information. I must say I'm very impressed, you debuted at a very young age, you're very talented.”

“Thank you very much.” if it wasn't for Sora's slightly darker complexion, you would have seen her blush.

“So how about we talk you through the concept of this MV. YunHwa and YungJi wrote the song, so why don't we I leave it to them to explain.”

“The song is call Dream Girl. The plot is the main girl sees her boyfriend kiss another girl, upset by what she sees she rips the necklace that he gave her, from her neck and throws it at him vowing to never see him again”

“The guy picks the necklace up, and that night falls asleep with it in his hands. This is when he dreams of her and all the reasons why he fell in love with her, and the future they could have had together.”

YungJi continued on from where YunHwa finished. “At the end he wakes up realising the mistake he's made, goes to find her, but she tells him it's too late and drives off on her motorcycle. The words that are going through his head are ''Baby girl I made a mistake. I forgot the reality of our love. You're my dream girl. But now that you're going away....... you will only ever be in my dream, girl' ”.

“What do you think.” YunHwa looked at them expectantly.

“I think it sounds really beautiful. Sad, but at the same time, it draws on the reality of being in a relationship. Sometimes things just don't workout.” YungJi noticed the subtle wistfulness in her voice as her eyes seemed to darken slightly. It worried him, so much so that he wanted to reach over and comfort her, but he knew better. Now was probably not the best time.

“Exactly, ICONIC are changing their concept with this album, they are trying to give-off a more mature vibe, a reflection of the fact that as artists they have all grown since they debuted.” Mr Choi explained.

Trust

The rest of the meeting continued in the usual manner, Sora, Mio, Teru and Nao were introduced to the rest of the team they would be working with. Everyone from the backup dancers and stylists to the choreographer who was known as Young Li. By the end of the meeting she was mentally exhausted. They had run through the concept behind the music video step by step leaving no details out. She now knew exactly where each site was in London and when they would be shooting.

Thankfully they had given Mio a printed out copy of the schedule, because Sora doubted she would remember the ins and outs of it all by the evening. All she knew was, they had just under a month to produce the music video, which meant they were on a tight schedule considering she already had numerous other commitments, such as various photo shoots, interviews and now a live performance with doping panda, and the fact that Iconic were also in the process of recording the rest of their album in preparation for its launch.

But instead of feeling negative about the prospect of the demanding schedule, Sora felt excited. This would be a first for YG, having a mixed race person feat in one of their music videos. She felt motivated by the fact that she now had the opportunity to break down barriers and set a standard for a new generation in terms of interracial relations.

With the meeting now over, Sora walked down the corridor alone. Mio was still engrossed in a conversation with Mr Choi, Teru had already made friends with the other dancers and was being shown around the main studios. And Nao was getting all her make-up and wardrobe equipment from the mini van.

“Sora, Sora! Wait a minute.”

“Yung-ah.” At the sound of a nickname YungJi blushed as he came to a halt in front of her.

“Umm, I— about this morning. And you know the whole me and you being an idol thing. I just wanted to apologise for not telling you earlier, and to make sure that we were good.”

“We're good. I didn't exactly tell you either. We both have our reasons, so don't worry about it, really.” She paused. “I guess this kind of shows that maybe we need to take things slow. I mean we've known each other for three days. Maybe we should just try and get to know each other better.” she felt guilty as the words left her mouth and a slightly hurt expression was on his face. “I'm not going back on last night. I do want to be your girlfriend, it's just that I came out of quiet a serious relationship and I just...don't want to be hurt again.”

“Yeobo [Honey], I promise I will never do anything to hurt you.” Sora had heard similar words to that before, but the way in which YungJi gazed into her eyes and held her hands, made her trust him. It was crazy. She knew it was. Three days, compared to the three years she had known Kouta before they had even started dating. But right now the part of her that was scared and clinging on to her painful past and insecurities, was being heavily outweighed by the part of her that felt that instantaneous deep routed connection to YungJi. “And I think getting to know each other is a great idea, because I want to know everything about you.” He gently pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her protectively. “Whoever hurt you in the past is an idiot, but I’m not that person. And I’ll prove it to you over time.”

“Yung-ah” she let her face rest against his shoulder “arigato ne [thank you].”

“How about dinner tonight? Dance practice should be finished by seven because it's the first day.”

“Dinner sounds good. Yung, about us seeing each other. Do you mind if we keep it among ourselves for now. I mean just keep it amongst close friends only, no managers, press or family....”

YungJi did mind in a way. He felt that he had nothing to hide, and that keeping their relationship a secret would only make things more complicated. However, he could see that Sora needed this, and understood her desire for privacy, so that their relationship could develop without unwanted attention and pressure. Besides, her happiness made him happy. So if this was what she wanted he would give it to her.

“I don't mind. As long as we're together, I don't care whether people know or don't know.” he kissed her lightly on the forehead. “We better get going, Li hates it when people are late.”

Dance practice was intense.

With only a half an hour break at lunch time. Sora understood why Mr Li had the notorious reputation that he did. Perfection was the only thing he accepted. Nothing less. But his choreography was amazing, it was an mix of classic hip-hop moves with more modern variations that pushed all the dancers to their limits. By the end of the day her body ached all over, and she knew she would have to soak in a hot bath for a long time to avoid muscle ache in the morning.

Mr Li walked over to where Sora was sitting on the floor. “You did very well today, how long have you been dancing?”

“Thank you. I guess you could say I’ve been dancing from birth.” She laughed, “My mum used to dance when she was younger, and taught me from a young age. I have very fond memories of walking down South bank watching dancers showcase their skills and compete with one another. It definitely inspired me to strive to be the best.”

He nodded in approval. “Good. Make sure you and your friend rest up, practice starts at 8am tomorrow. And I don't like people who are late.” He walked off saying goodbye to a few other dancers, before leaving the studio.

* * * *

After soaking in a nice hot bath for a good hour, Sora felt refreshed and ready for her date with Yung. She had already asked Nao to help her out with choosing an outfit plus accessories, which were now laying on her bed. She got changed did her make-up and made her way into the living room to get her friends final approvals.

“Yep, it's official. I’m a fashion genius. Seriously, this black Temperley London dress looks amazing on you especially with those shoes and clutch.” Nao nodded in approval.

“YungJi won't be able to stop staring at you~” Teru teased.

“I'm not usually a dress person but, the silk feels amazing against my skin. And the gold sequin embellishment and embroidery around the neck is really beautiful. Where did you even get this dress?”

“Seriously, your grandma sends you dresses to wear all the time. For an heiress to a multinational company, you don't exactly indulge yourself much do you. But that's what we love about you.”

“Yeah yeah, you know some of us just aren't born with the fashion spark.”

“Well at least you were born with feet that look fab in Alexander McQueen shoes.” Teru pouted in mock jealousy. “Are baby girl has really grown up, ne mama?” Teru wrapped her arms around Nao.

“I know papa, but she can't be ours forever. But YungJi seems like he will make a good son-in-law.” Nao patted Teru on her back in mock reassurance.

Sora couldn't stop herself from laughing at their little act.“Jeez, you guys are really something, ready to marry me off huh?! Seriously, being around you two makes me feel normal, and that's saying something.” They all burst out in a fit of laughter. 'Normal' they weren't. But best friends they definitely were.

“So will YungJi be coming to get you?” Teru went round to the kitchen area and started rummaging for a snack.

“No, he did offer but I thought meeting him at the restaurant would be best.”

“Definitely the right move, that way you can make an entrance.” Sora laughed at Nao's comment.

“You really need to stop reading all of those magazines. Any ways, I better get going the taxi should be here any minute.”

YungJi sat nervously playing with the napkin on the table. Usually it took him less then thirty minutes to get ready, today it had taken him well over an hour. Iconic were well known as a fashion icon for the youths of Korea, but YungJi had never felt so unsure of what he was wearing, then he did today. He wanted to look good, but more then that he wanted to appeal to Sora's tastes. Unfortunately he didn't know what they were, yet. He had settled with a white shirt, black waistcoat, skinny black tie, and smart black skinny fit trousers. But being YungJi he couldn't help himself from wearing a black limited edition cap to add a twist to the otherwise, clean and classic look.

The minute Sora walked through the doors of the award winning Byeol restaurant, her eyes found YungJi. As she approached the table his eyes darted up, acknowledging her presence. He stood up.

Damn he looks good. Sora couldn't stop a wide smile forming on her face. He looked both smart and trendy. His shirt fitted in a way that showed off his thin, yet sculpted torso. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He walked over and took out the chair for Sora to sit down. “You look amazing.” This was YungJi's first time seeing her in a dress, he now hoped it wouldn’t be his last.

“Thanks. You look really good to.” Who knew a man in a waistcoat and shirt could look so sexy, she thought. As she sat down she realised they were playing a version of Elton John's Your Song in the background. It reminded her of her mother, who often played it in the house when she was young.

A part of her wanted to cry.

“Sora.”

She blinked back into reality. “Sorry, haha, sometimes I zone out a bit.”

“It's fine,” YungJi still felt a bit concerned about the fleeting sad expression that had crossed her face “I was just asking what you wanted from the menu?”

She picked up the menu in front of her, and carefully looked through all the options. “I'll try this one,” she pointed, not knowing how to pronounce it's Korean name “the description sounds good.”

“Okay.”

Their food arrived soon after, and both of them relaxed as they began to eat.

 Bonds

“Then what about family?” YungJi continued with their conversation, wanting to find out even more about her life, and wanting her to learn more about him.

“Family...well I told you right. I moved to Japan when I was six years old.” She moved some of the food on her plate around before continuing. “The reason why I moved was because my mum died in a hit and run car accident. I was the only witness, but I can't remember what happened. I try, but I just can't, it meant that we never found the person who did it.”

She reached for her glass and took a sip of water. YungJi reached over and held her other hand gently. “I'm sorry that must have been hard.”

“No one has an easy life.” She smiled that beautiful smile of hers. “I'm just grateful for the family I have now, including Nao and Teru, they're like sisters to me.”

“Really, how did you guys meet?”

“I've actually known Teru a year longer then Nao. Teru's half Japanese half Korean, but when she first moved to Japan she didn't speak Japanese very well. She was 14 and had just joined my company to continue her training as a dancer. I was still a trainee at 13. I guess we just kind of clicked. She was having a hard time making friends because of the language barrier. I remembered what it was like, I was the same when I first moved over. So I introduced myself to her and our friendship started from there.”

“I'm surprised, she seemed to make friends so easily with the other dancers today.”

Sora laughed. “She's actually really sociable, even back then, people just weren't patient. Ha- but Nao, this girl, is definitely the over the top type of person. She could talk for hours none stop.” She couldn't stop herself from laughing at the memories. “I think sometimes people couldn't see past that. Me included at first. But I soon realised that she's one of the nicest and wisest people out there.”

“Really?”

“Really. There was this time when I was really upset, I was crying in the dressing room. That day was the first time I was recording a music video, not mine, I was still a trainee then. Some girls had made comments about my skin.” YungJi noticed how she tugged on the end of a long black translucent silk sleeve unconsciously. “They were making nasty comments about how my arms must have stretch marks, because I was bigger then them. Not what I would now think as overweight but you know, the usual childish bitchy comments,” her eyes flicked up at him and back down again. To be honest YungJi hadn't even noticed any stretch marks, and didn't really care. To him things like that just weren't important. But he could see how her insecurities had formed from bad experiences

“Back then I really took it to heart. Nao was 16 and just doing some work experience, but despite that she was the one who took it upon herself to defend me and put them in there place. I think she said something along the lines of 'instead of wasting your energy bitching, you should move your jealous anorexic ass's back in the practice room, because this girl just out danced you ten fold and you know it.' ”

“We've all been friends since. I honestly don't know where I would be without them. I'm quiet envious of you guys, you've always had each other, being a solo performer can feel lonely at times, but knowing that those two are always there for me keeps me going.”

“I know the feeling. I’m not saying that we've always been the best of friends, but to me they are my brothers, no matter what.”

“I can tell. You guys are really in sync with each other, especially you and YunHwa.”

“Yeah me and YunHwa go way back, we both started training from a young age like you. Back then I wasn't even sure I would make it, I was more of a dancer then singer. But YunHwa, he's different, he always knew he'd get there. He may not look it, but that guy's determined, definitely born a leader.”

“Then the others, they joined you two later?”

“Yep, back then we were all just a bunch of adolescent teens with big dreams. There were no guarantees that we'd make it, but we did.”

They grinned at each other, both feeling the same thing. Pride, they'd worked their way up from the bottom to the top. Both fighting against the odds, to be where they wanted to be.

***

“And you're sure that you didn't want any dessert?” YungJi and Sora walked outside the restaurant. Taking their time as they strolled down the street idly, enjoying the warm summer evening, and the company of each other.

“Yep I’m sure. Thanks for dinner, it was really good, I’m stuffed.”

“I'm glad you liked it.” He reached over and wrapped his right hand around her left, as they continued to walk along the street.

“Yeah, I was surprised. I knew the food would be good, but I wasn't expecting such an intimate atmosphere.”

“That's what I like about the place, we always make sure to stop by.”

“How many times have you and the guys been to London?”

“A couple of times now, but only for a day or two. How about you?”

“I haven't been back since I was six.”

They stopped in font of YungJi's car.

“I guess it just didn't feel right, until now.”

“Here.” Feeling like it was finally the right time, YungJi reached into his pocket and took out a small charm. “I brought this the day we went phone shopping, before we met up. I didn't have the courage to give it to you until now.” Sora took the phone charm, it was a cute miniature purple panda drinking a vanilla milkshake that was the same size as it.

“It's perfect. Really, it's just perfect. Thank you.” She kissed his cheek quickly.

“I know it's cheesy, but,” he reached into his pocket again “I just couldn't stop myself from buying them.” He held onto a matching purple panda phone charm, the only difference being his panda was drinking from a chocolate milkshake instead, and wore a small bow tie around it's neck.

The first thing that Sora did when she sat in his car was attach the phone charm to her mobile. She couldn't stop playing around with it as he drove her home.

Expectations

“Are you ready, the interview will be starting in a few minutes.”

“Yep I’m ready. Thanks for getting me the Aloe Vera juice Mio.”

“No problem, what are managers for.” She joked. “Sorry I couldn't come round for dinner last night, I was busy finalising a couple of things with Doping Panda, they've given you the go ahead with talking about the performance in this interview, which is good. What did you and the girls get up to?”

Sora groaned inwardly. She felt terrible for lying to Mio. As her cousin, she felt like she wanted to tell her everything to do with Yung. But Mio wasn't just her cousin, she was her manager too, and in the end she just didn't want to complicate things right now. “Oh, nothing much just the usual, good food and a cheesy DVD to match.”

“That's good, as long as you're getting as much rest as possible. I know that this hasn't turned out to be much of a holiday, but, it is a chance to relax a bit.”

“I know.” There was a knock at the door.

“That'll be the magazine reporter now, I’ll leave you to it, I’m just in the room next door if you need me.”

The young guy walked in carrying a small mac notebook.

“Hi I’m Tom Smith, it's a pleasure to meet you, I’ve been a big fan of yours since you debuted.”

She shook his hand, “Thanks, it's always nice to meet a fan.”

“I'd also like to thank you for agreeing to this interview with Neo Magazine.”

“No problem, I’ve read the magazine and I really like it.”

“Thank you, well then how about we start this interview. I’ll be taking notes myself as well as recording it on the macbook.”

“That sounds good to me.”

< So why don't we start with you introducing yourself to our readers. > Hi everyone, my name's Sora, and I’m eighteen years old.

< At only eighteen years old, you've become one of the most well known artists in Japan, with two albums going straight to number one in the charts. How has this effected you? > Honestly this has definitely been the most rewarding three years of my life. I love the fact that I’m performing on stage and being given the chance to work with other Japanese artists. It's a lot of work, but, it's what I want to do. I feel really blessed.

< For our readers out there who don't know you, how would you define your genre of music?> This is definitely a tough question for me. I think that coming from two distinct cultures has helped to shape me into a very diverse artist. When I first debuted I felt that my music had a mostly pop/ slightly hip-hop RnB feel to it. But now that I’ve matured my most recent album definitely has a rock/visuel kei undertone to it. As it's what I feel is me at my most raw in terms of emotion.

< Having listened to your song Glass heart, I would definitely have to agree with you, the vocals are amazing. And the visuals in the MV really reflect the lyrics.> thank you. < What was the concept behind it?> the song is about the feeling of losing someone precious to you, not necessarily because they physically died, but because the bond between you has broken. And the realisation that the heart that you always thought was made of steel is actually fragile and made of glass. And the emotions that you go through in order to heal.

< Going back to your heritage. You're Afro-asian or blasian, tell us a little bit more about this.> My mum is black British and from London, and my dad is Japanese. Unfortunately my mum passed away when I was younger, but they've both influenced my career. I grew up here in London when I was very young so it's nice to be back. I'm not the first blasian singer in Japan, there are other people, like my good friend Jero, who I believe is doing a tour of east Asia right now.

< How are you enjoying being in London?> I love London, there's a really nice vibe here. I haven't had the chance to sight see much. But I definitely want to go on the London eye, and visit places like Camden and Shoreditch market.

Ah maji [really]?!! I’m really happy to hear that, I didn't know I had that many fans here in the UK. All I can say is thank you so much for listening to my music and supporting me, I really appreciate it. Mina-san arigato ne [everyone thank you]!!

 I am looking at expanding overseas sometime in the near future, when I feel that I have matured enough as an artist. So keep supporting me and look out for my own tour in the future. However, I am happy to be able to announce that I will be performing in my sempai's, Doping Panda's concert next week. So for those of you who are coming I can't wait to see you, and for those of you who haven't got tickets, you better hurry up!

 I love all my songs, obviously they each have deep meanings for me. If I had to pick one right now I would have to say the song I debuted with Broken Mirrors. I recorded this song for the opening of the anime Naruto, so some of your readers might have listened to it without knowing who sang it. It was really cool seeing myself transformed into an illustrated konoha ninja. I actually asked the illustrator to print me out a poster of it with their signatures on it.

The interview continued on in the same style, by the end of it both Tom and Sora were satisfied.

“Thanks again for taking the time out of your schedule for this interview.”

“No problem, I look forward to seeing you at Doping Panda's concert then.” As soon as Tom had walked out the door Mio was walking in typing away on her blackberry, leaving Sora with no time for a breather.

“That seemed to have gone well, they'll be using some pictures that were taken of you from your last concert and some from your last Harajuku girls campaign. Part of the interview will be published on their website by tomorrow and the whole article will be in the next issue which is coming out by the end of the week, you'll be sent a copy as soon as it's ready.” She looked up from her phone and smiled. “We better get going you're meant to be back at Central studios to rehearse some scenes with JaeMan for the MV this afternoon.”

Seeing Sora's slightly tired expression Mio pulled out a bottle of Calpis and handed it to her, “Lunch will be ready when you get there, it's ohagi [rice cake covered with bean paste] and tamago yaki [sweet omelet]. Your favourites, just like obaa-san makes them.” She smiled at her.

“Thanks.”

“It's the least I could do, I know your still a bit tired from dance practice earlier this morning. Oh, I just sent you your schedule can you double check your phone for me.”

“Yeah sure.” She took her phone out her pocket and saw the notification on screen, “Yep it's there.”

“Good good, let's go then. Cute phone charm by the way.”

* * * *

“Ok guys take a 15 minute break.”

“Ah man so tired, we've been practising since 7am, I’m beat.” MinSo sprawled himself out on the hard wood dance floor.

“Here have some water.” HyunShik threw him a bottle of water and then sat crossed legged against the mirrored wall next to YungJi, YunHwa and JaeMan.

“Thanks.”

“That's what you get for eating too much instead of coming to the gym when your meant to.” MinSo stuck his tongue out at YunHwa.

“Well at least that's it for me today.” JaeMan said, while wrapping a towel around his neck to wipe off his sweat.

“How come?” YunHwa asked.

“Acting session with Sora, we're rehearsing the first scene from the MV, when she sees me kissing another girl.”

“She texted me a minute ago, she's already here, but she's just eating lunch with her manager first.” YungJi said.

“Araso [I understand]. I’ll head down there in a bit then.”

There was a knock at the door, the guys looked up to see Teru walk in.

“Hey guys, how's practice going?” Teru spoke in Korean.

YunHwa jumped up, “Good we just finished learning one piece of choreography. What are you doing here?”

“Me and the other backup dancers were practicing in the other room, I just wanted to have a word with YungJi quickly.”

“Sure.” He got up and followed her out into the hallway. “What's up? Is something wrong with Sora?”

“Nothing's wrong. Look, I just thought I should get this out of the way now.”

Get what out the way....

“If you hurt Sora, in anyway at all— I will hurt you. Understand. That girl, as far as I’m concerned is my sister, she took me in under her wing. Her family treat me like a daughter, just like my family treat her like a daughter too. I will not see her get hurt again. I think your a good guy YungJi-ssi, and I respect you as an artist. I hope you can live up to that.”

YungJi stood rooted to the spot in delayed shock, before he could even think up a response. He wasn't angry though. Far from it. He was glad, Teru was a true friend. And that he could respect.

“Araso Teru. I promise you, I’ll do everything to live up to yours, Soras' and everyone elses' expectations.”

“Glad to hear it.” The tone of her voice lightened, reflecting her acceptance of his pledge. “Okay then, I better get back to practice. Oh me and the girls are having a film night tonight you and the guys should come along. It'll be a nice chilled out evening.”

“Sounds like a great idea, I’ll let the others know, I’m pretty sure they'll be up for it though.”

“Cool catch you guys later then.”

YungJi made his way back into the studio room, just as the other guys, accept JaeMan, were starting to stretch and warm up for the next dance session.

“Okay I’ll see you guys later.”

“See ya~”

“Laters.”

“Bye hyung.”

“Oh JaeMan before you go, Teru invited us over to theirs tonight for DVD'S and food. You're up for that right?”

“Yeah I’ll be there.”

“You guys too right.” They all nodded.

“As long as we aren't in for a night of you and Sora making out.” MinSo joked.

YungJi rolled his eyes. “You're such an idiot sometimes.”

* * *

“Good, like that. Try and show all the emotions you'd want to say in your eyes when your staring at him. Right, just like that.”

Sora stood at one side of the room as JaeMan stood, his arm around the waist of one of the female actresses on the other side. She had already read through the directors notes for this scene. The standard stuff— shock, anger, teary eyes. But instead of sticking to the notes, she drew from experience. Shock, anger, and teary eyes were a scratch on the surface of emotions you felt when the person you love betrays you.

“Now I want you to look away,” Sora turned her head slowly, so that she was now looking just over her left shoulder, as if she needed to hide the hurt expression on her face. “Now when you turn back, the expression in your eyes has to change, when you rip the necklace from your neck it has to be done with conviction.” She understood, you had to make a choice. You either let yourself break apart because of one moment or you move on and live life.

When she turned back to face him JaeMan could she the change behind her eyes. Before they had looked similar to milk chocolate, now they burned with a dark smouldering fierceness, that made him feel taken aback for a second. He could feel the change in his heartbeat as it frantically sped up, urging him to go to her, comfort her. As if he had really just hurt her and this wasn't just an act.

He felt bad for YungJi, that is if he was ever stupid enough to cheat on her. Which he knew he never would, it just wasn't in his character.

She ripped the necklace from her neck and threw it to the ground in his direction turned and although it was scripted to run away, she decided to just walk away without looking back.

* * *

“Good job guys, let's call it a day.”

“See you later JaeMan— Sora.” JaeMan nodded

“See you later Kaitlyn, get home safe.” Sora began to gather her stuff together and pack it away into her sports bag.

“So a movie at yours tonight, right?”

She looked up, “Yep, no chick flicks we promise.” He laughed whilst walking in her direction, with his bag in hand.

“I'll let you into a little secret,” he leaned close so that his face was no more then a finger's width from hers. “Us guys don't actually hate chick flicks, especially MinSo. We just say we do.” He smiled.

She blinked, this was a side to JaeMan that she had never seen before. Usually he was composed, mature, even if dressed in his more extrovert outfits. But right now he seemed— different. “Really?” She laughed, “Then I might just throw one into the mix.”

He leant back so that he was standing up straight again. “Sounds like a good idea to me. See you later then.”

“See you later.”

She watched, a slightly puzzled expression on her face, as he walked off.

Moments

“Is it done yet?”

“No not yet, patience Nao. It'll be worth it trust me, nothing taste better then my four cheese jerk chicken pizza. Nothing.”

“Amen to that.” Teru high fived her. “Do you think we made enough? MinSo has a more than a healthy appetite, that guy is always snacking during practice. Even when he thinks no one is looking.”

“Yeah I made two medium sized ones and one large one. I think it should be enough. Plus there's cake and ice cream for dessert.”

“Omo, we haven't had ice cream in so long.” Teru leaned her head back, already imagining her overly generous portion of ice cream melting on top of her warmed piece of chocolate cake. “God, when will they be here, I want dessert already!!”

“You two really have no patience.” The buzzer rang, “Good thing they're early birds.”

She turned down the temperature of the oven, asked Nao and Teru to start getting the plates out and the DVD ready. Before heading quickly to the answer the buzzer. “Hey guys I’ll buzz you in now, its the penthouse flat so just use the elevator.”

“Oh your flat is really nice!! Look at the view.” MinSo stood by the sash window looking out at the night view of the now busy bars and restaurants in a side cobbled street of seven dials, Covent garden. “Wah! And its so spacious.” He sniffed the air excitedly, “Omo, is that pizza I smell and …......chicken?”

Sora bust out laughing at MinSo's childish enthusiasm “Even better pizza topped with chicken. I know you guys love spicy food, so I thought pizza topped with jerked chicken would go down a treat.”

“Jerked chicken? Never had that before, what is it?” HyunShik took a seat on one of the two sofas next to YunHwa.

“It's chicken marinated in a blend of peppers, mixed spices, sugar, cinnamon and of course my mum's secret ingredient.”

YungJi came up behind her and, feeling no restraints in the presence of friends, wrapped his arms possessively around her waist. Positioning himself so that his head perched comfortably on her right shoulder. “Then your mum taught you how to make this?”

“In a way yes. I remember her making this when I was a child, and me watching her intently. But she died before she was able to actually teach me herself. But in her belongings my dad found this notebook. My mum had been writing down recipes in it since she was in college. I don't know how many times I flicked through that notebook over the years until I finally started practising the recipes. I’m glad that I have it though, it's very precious to me. Not even my dad knows my mum's secret ingredients and tips, he wanted it to be something that connected me and mum. I like that I have that connection to my Caribbean heritage.” She leaned her head against his wistfully, forgetting herself in the possibilities. Just for a moment, imaging what could have been.

The timer went off.

“Foods done!” Teru called from the kitchen area.

Everyone gathered on the two sofas, pizza slices in hand snuggled up and ready to watch the film. First on the list 'I'm a cyborg, but that's OK'. It was one of Sora's favourite films, partially because Bi Rain was in it, but mainly because the storyline was just weird genius. In her opinion.

Half way through the film, she felt YungJi kiss her lightly on the head as he pulled her closer. Happily, she let him guide her, so that the side of her body was resting against his.

By the end of it, she felt tears begin to form as they always did, but before they could fall, she felt someone brush them to one side gently.

“Don't cry.” Sora looked up at Yung, and into his concerned eyes.

“I'm such a sap sometimes.” She whispered back, unconsciously snuggling up even closer to him.

“Crying doesn't make you a sap. I just don't like the idea of something upsetting you. Especially when I can't stop it.” He murmured into her ear.

“I used to think I would never find someone who would look after me like Il-soon did for Young-goon, sad right? But I’m glad I did.” She barely whispered the last part, but knew that he could hear it.

“Ok, cake time!!” Teru jumped up from where she had been leaning against the sofa on the floor and went to get the cake from the kitchen area.

“What film do you guys want to watch next?” Nao knelt down next to the TV, already taking out the first DVD. “You guys like action right, we just brought the new fast and furious 5 film. How about that?”

“Yeah that sounds good.” HyunShik said stretching out his arms and legs. “What do you think Sora?”

“Yeah sounds good, I haven't had the time to watch it yet. The reviews—” She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She checked the screen and saw that it was coming up as unknown. Thinking that it was probably a message or call from Mio she quiickly excused herself and went to the hallway to pick it up.

She paused for a second debating on whether to answer it in Japanese or not, but decided to go for English just in case. “Hello?”

“Sora, this i—”

“Dad! I thought you were too busy to call me today.”

She heard him chuckle down the other end of the line. “I always make time to call you remember.”

“Yeah I know, it's just I knew you had an important meeting with some potential business partners in America today. You're planning on expanding the brand over there next year right?”

“Yeah, we're just in the middle of negotiating the terms of the partnership. But enough about business, how are you and Mio doing in London?”

“Good, as always. My schedule is pretty busy right now because of me performing in Doping Panda's concert and the fact that I have yet to meet up with this other debuting group to film the MV for the collaboration that we recorded earlier this month. But Mio is looking out for me so don't worry, OK.”

“Hmm still, don't take too much on. Take some time out for yourself, enjoy being in London. Why don't you and the girls go on a day trip or something. I can arrange it for you if you like.”

“Dad, you don't have to do that. I earn enough to look out for myself, I don't want you spending your money on me when it isn't necessary.”

Shiro frowned, she was always so stubborn when it came to money. She never liked him spending money on her, and had been financing herself ever since she debuted. He didn't like it, only because he felt that she was growing up way to fast, and because he liked to spoil her. She was after all his little girl still. “You really are stubborn aren't you.” He sighed, “Just like your mother. I remember the first time I brought her a present, her expression when she opened the box went from happiness to rejection the moment she realised how much it cost.”

“Really?! Why, what did you get her?” She leaned against the wall.

“I brought her a designer hand bag. I guess I didn’t realise that an expensive gift could feel like a burden too. I was, how would you say it, slightly more spoiled when I was younger. Your mother definitely beat that trait out of me. She taught me to appreciate things more. I doubt I would have turned out to be the person I am today without her.”

Sora smiled, “I guess mum had it hard back then herself. I don't know what I would have done in her place. Not being able to dance because of an injury, kinda makes it hard to be angry at someone......”

“Sweetheart.....”

“I'm fine, I just always miss her I guess.”

“I know, so do I.”

“I'm planning on visiting her grave here soon. I've been thinking about it for ages now, I just seem to keep putting it off.”

“Will you be OK? I could book a flight over so that I can be there with you, you know?”

“Dad, don't be silly we both know you have enough commitments as it is. Plus I kind of want to do this alone, it sounds stupid, but I just want it to be me and mum.”

“I understand, but if you change your mind just phone me I don't care what I have on, you come first and you always will.”

“I know, love you dad.”

“Love you to.”

“I better get going the girls will be wondering what's taking me so long.”

“Hai hai, say hello to them for me. Talk to you again soon. Bye bye.”

“Bye dad.” She hung up the phone. Slowly she let herself slide down so that she was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and head resting on her knees.

She worried about a lot of things, but one thing she worried about the most was her dad. He put on a a brave face around her, but deep down she knew that the accident had taken a toll on him, she felt like he immersed himself in work so much to keep himself from facing what had happened, as if he still had to keep his promise to her. She thought back to when she was just a child, and how she had hurt him by directing her anger at him unfairly. At that age she just didn't understand why things had turned out the way they had.

Why did her mum have to die? Why did she have to leave behind the home that she knew? And why did her dad abandon her in the first place?

If her grandma handn't of explained what had happened then he would have let her continue to be angry at him even though it was unfair.

“Sora-chan, you shouldn’t be angry at your father. Your mothers death was an accident, he couldn't have done anything to stop it.”

Sora sat scrunched up in a ball in the corner of her bedroom. It was her first mothers day since the death of her mum and the move to Japan. Throughout the whole day she had had to deal with the fleeting memories that she could feel slipping away, but when she saw other families out spending time together, it had all gotten too much. She knew that being angry at her dad wouldn’t change things but she just didn't know how else to express all the emotions manifesting inside her.

“Everyone keeps saying that. It was just an 'accident', 'no one could have stopped it'. But if he had just been around from the beginning maybe things wouldn't have turned out like that!!”

Mrs Takata knelt down in front of her. “Then instead of being angry at your otou-san you should be angry at me and your grandfather. It was us that made it so that your dad couldn't live with you.”

She reached over and started to wipe the tears from her face. “I don't understand.” She paused, trying to think of the best way to explain it to a child.

“We realised that he was serious about his marriage to your mother and recognised that he also had a duty to look after you. However we were still adamant that he was taking the wrong path, you see for a long time we had already had someone picked out for him to marry. It would have been very beneficial to everyone. So we gave him an ultimatum. Either divorce Alicia and marry the women we deemed suitable, and we would see that you and Alicia were still well looked after. Or give-up his inheritance and start from the bottom of the family company until you worked your way up the top, and only then would we recognise his marriage to Alicia and see you both as part of the family.”

“Why would you do that? Why would you make him choose between his family and the person he loves?”

“We thought that we were doing the right thing, but now I realise it was just us being stubborn and trying to test his resolve. And for that we're more then sorry. You have the right to be angry, but if you're going to be angry, be angry at us not Shiro.”

“—I don't want to be angry at anyone, not really. I just don't know what to do with all these feelings. They just build up inside me. Sometimes I just feel like I’m drowning. I don't know what to do oba-san.”

“My little sakura,” she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her until the crying stopped.

Even now Sora felt like the child from her past. Lost in a labyrinth of her own emotions. There would always be that part of her that couldn't understand how one moment, one 'accident' could result in her losing so much in life.

But then maybe that was something she would always have to deal with.

“Sora,” she looked up at Nao. “I was just worried you were gone for quite a while. Everything OK?”

“Yeah, just thinking. Ah~my dad said hello by the way.”

Aishiteru

Mum?

She looked down.

Mum?

Panicked tears blurred her vision as her eyes refused to look away from the distorted motionless body.

Please move.

Please.

Don't leave me alone.

“Soraaaa, Soraaa. Earth to monkey! You OK?” Nao waved her hand in front of her face.

“Huh, yeah sorry I’m just a bit tired.”

“I know, take a breather before we continue yeah?”

“Yeah, I will. How many more outfits do I have left to shoot in?”

“Not many just three. And then we just have a press meet with Doping panda for the concert tomorrow.”

“OK cool.”

Sora sat crossed legged in her make shift dressing room. Slowly she drank from her bottle of aloe vera drink hoping that it would help with her current state of fatigue. Lately she had found the frequency of her nightmares increasing. The same moment each time. The moment she realised her mother was dead. It was the most she could ever remember, and it killed her each time.

She hit herself on the head. Now was not the time to think about those things, she had a job to do.

She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. The way in which the stylist team could transform a person never ceased to amaze her. They had made her eyes look bigger and more doll like by using fake eyelashes and carefully drawn white and black eye-liner. Her skin seemed even more flawless now that they had mixed some BB cream with her normal shade of foundation. And the unnatural rosy tint on her cheeks added more to the doll look they were going for. She had flat out refused to wear the bright pink lipstick that they had suggested, and instead compromised with a more subtle pink lip gloss that gave her lips a more full and seductive appearance.

Her bangs had been straightened, with the rest of her hair lightly curled with extensions bringing her hair length from being mid back, to down to her waist. It was somewhat like being a life size Rika-chan doll.

Sometimes she felt it was strange. Almost like seeing a stranger in the mirror. But when she thought about it, maybe the idea of being able to be someone else, even for a short while, was why she was so attracted to modelling in the first place.

She sighed inwardly, frustrated by her growing fatigue. It was so unlike her to be in this sort of mood, especially when it came to photo shoots for Baby the Stars Shine Bright. She was no stranger to the brand, they had signed her up a year after she debuted, her campaign had received a lot of positive feedback so they decided to sign her up for a further 4years and had eventually released a line of accessories she had designed earlier this year which had sold out with in the first week in Japan. And now she was shooting an Alice in wonderland -esque theme for their autumn campaign.

She looked down at her current out fit, A beautifully designed gothic lolita dress from their new Alice and the Pirates range. Black with purple accents, she had to admit corsets really did wonders for the figure. Five more minutes before I should head back.

She found herself unconsciously reaching for her phone and dialling his number before she could stop herself.

“Hello yeobo?”

“Hey baby, I just felt like giving you a call.....I—” He cut her off.

“I miss you more.” Sora laughed.

“Since when were you a mind reader huh?” She said sarcastically.

“Didn't you know? I can read the minds of people close to me. That and I was just about to call you myself~ I was serious when I said I miss you more.”

“It's been too long since I’ve seen you, I miss your smile.” She leant against one of the dressing room tables, picturing the way his nose slightly crinkled as he smiled brightly at her.

“What time do you finish tonight? Can I come round?”

“I finish at 8 today, so come round any time from 9 OK?”

“Yeah...........Sora?”

“Yeah?”

“Is everything OK though? It's just that, well, you sound a bit tired. And MinSo was talking to Teru who mentioned that you weren't sleeping too well recently.” Sora could picture him lifting his cap slightly so that he could scratch the back of his head, as he always did when he was nervous. She smiled to herself wistfully. She had been avoiding this conversation......

“I've been getting these nightmares about my mum's accident,” she paused “always the same thing, the same moment. Over and over. It's like I’m stuck, I want to remember more but I just cant. I used to get them a lot when I was younger, I thought I had gotten over it. But I guess not huh.” She let out a long sigh. “It feels like torture, like I’m being punished.”

“Sora,” she could hear the pain in his voice “yeobo, why didn't you tell me all this sooner? You don't have to go through this alone. I know that I haven't gone through what you have but, I can say with confidence that you're not being punished. It's natural for you to have nightmares about something so traumatic, it shows how much you care for your mother, and how much the loss of her has affected you. Araso?”

“Wakarimashita.” She looked at the clock opposite her. “I better get going, I have this photo-shoot to finish.”

“Ok.” He hesitated. “Sarengheyo.” He said the last part, not for a reply, but just so that she would know how he felt.

Sora paused, he had said the last part so softly that she couldn't pick up what he said, and didn't have the chance to ask as he had already hung up the phone.

She put the phone to one side, she felt better. Like some of the weight she had been carrying around had been lifted off. She wondered why she hadn't just call him earlier. She had to get herself used to having someone caring about her, the way Yung did. She took one last look in the mirror and then headed back on set with a more refreshed attitude.

* * *

“God I’m exhausted, seriously, the press meet went on for what felt like forever. I mean do they really need that many photos?!”

“Your telling me, answering questions in both English and Japanese, tires a girl out you know.” They both headed towards the breakfast bar, so that they could eat the sushi take-out they had gotten. “Has Teru messaged you yet?”

“Yeah she said YungJi is giving her a lift, they should be here in like half an hour, they were filming on location today. It seems like they got a lot of recording done though. You guys finished all of the beginning scenes yesterday, so that leaves the dream sequence in the middle and then the ending when you ride off on a motorbike right?”

“Yep. So far pretty much everything has been going according to the schedule.” She yawned. “I might go take a quick nap before they come.”

“That sounds like a good idea, I have to update my blog, I’ve been neglecting it lately.”

Once she finished eating she headed to her room and changed in to an old New York Yankees shirt that her dad had brought back for her from one of his business trips when she was younger, and a pair of dark grey sweatpants. She set an extra alarm on her phone so that she'd wake up in about 15 minutes and then flung herself under the covers and in to her bed, wrapped her arms around her Domo doll and eventually fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

YungJi knocked on Sora's door before quietly opening it. He smiled to himself, she was still asleep. He made his way from one side of her room to her bed, making sure not to disturb any of her things. He sat, careful not to wake her, on top of the covers on the edge of her bed, and reached out for her, not realising just how much he had been craving the feel of her skin.

Mum?

She looked down.

Mum?

He frowned in concern as she began to mumble words, and move around in distress.

Panicked tears blurred her vision as her eyes refused to look away from the distorted motionless body.

He reached out and began stroking her hair soothingly, hoping to ease her out of her nightmare.

Please move.

Please........

“Don't leave me alone.” Those words that in reality, came out as merely a whisper, cried out in her mind. And resonated deep in her heart. She opened her eyes suddenly, forcing herself to wake up.

“It's OK, I’m here......” YungJi continued to stroke her hair rhythmically. “I’m here, and I promise I won't ever willingly leave you, not ever.” Her erratic breathing slowly calmed at the sound of his voice.

“Yung?” Sora blinked several times, as if she might finally be dreaming. Then she remembered that he was meant to be there. She turned to her bedside clock, “I overslept, sorry.”

“Don't be, you're tired. Go back to bed, sleep, please.”

She shifted so that she was facing him completely, propping herself up with her elbow. “I don't want to sleep any more,” she whispered knowing that she sounded childish “now that your here I'd much rather be awake and happy then asleep and afraid. I’ve missed you.”

He opened his arms out for her, “I've missed you more.” She nestled into his chest, resting her head so that she could her the comforting steady beat of his heart. She closed her eyes, savouring the feeling of security that she got from the warmth of his arms wrapped around her.

“How about we compromise?” She felt the warmth of his breath on her eyelids.

“Compromise?” She murmured.

“How about I sing for you, my mum always said that singing kept bad dreams away.” She nodded her head sleepily, no matter how much she wished it not to be true, she was tired. “As long as you stay.”

YungJi began to sing softly, songs and lullabys that his mother used to lovingly sing to him. He remembered those nights when he was convinced that there was a monster under his bed. The times she looked after him when he was ill. When he became discouraged and upset during his trainee years. The memories made him smile, he loved his parents very much, but there would forever be a soft spot in his heart especially for his mother.

A feeling of sadness washed over him, he knew that Sora had few memories of her mother. He hated that she would never get to experience the things other people would.

He kept on singing, until he was sure that she was fast asleep. When he was, he eased off his trainers and positioned himself more comfortably on the bed. He thought it would be best if he stayed on top of the covers, he didn't want to disrespect anyone or cause any misunderstandings.

Within minuets the wave of exhaustion that he had been holding back consumed him, and he was fast asleep, his arm still wrapped protectively around Sora. Shielding her from the bad dreams.

Aishiteru

* Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! *

* Okiro! Okiro! Okiro! Okiro! *

* Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! *

The half asleep Sora groggily reached over and turned off the alarm on her phone, and then rolled over.

“Oh!” right next to her was the sleeping face of YungJi. “I forgot.” she whispered to herself. He looks so.....peaceful. She reached over and lightly traced the line of his jaw, carefully moving a strand of his long black hair. She loved his hair, loved how much it was like her own, she smiled to herself. I’ll have to plait it one day.............I think he'd look cute with it plaited back in cainrows. She let her fingers run through his hair, releasing a few strands from the bun he'd tied it back in to. Her eyes drifted to his lips, she felt her cheeks flush. She leaned closer to him and kissed him softly. Thank you for staying.

She felt his arm tense around her waist pulling her closer to him, and deepening the kiss. She heard him moan softly before he finally released her and opened his eyes.

“Mmmm......I don't think I’ve ever been woken up in such a creative way.” She noticed the smouldering glint in his eyes. “Morning yeobo.”

“Morning.”

“What time is it?”

“6:30am, sorry I forgot to tell you I had an alarm set.” He sat up and stretched his arms out, she frowned. “Have you been sleeping on top of the sheets all night? Yung-kun~ weren't you cold? I should have got you a blanket or something.”

“It's fine, honestly I was too tired to notice, plus having you nestled next to me kept me more then warm.” He smirked knowing, by the quick downwards glance of her eyes, that she was definitely blushing. “I'll have to stay over more often.”

“Any time.” She meant it.

“Did you sleep better?”

“Yeah, thank you.” She positioned herself closer to him. “I’ve decided to go visit my mum today. I think now is the right time. I want to see her before this concert, I'm meant to be in rehearsals from 8 but I need to do this, I’ll let them know that I won't be there till later.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “I'll drive you.”

“I would love for that to happen, one problem, your curfew. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me, you better get back to your hotel before Mr Choi checks up on you guys this morning. I know that they would cover for you, but knowing MinSo he would get carried away creating some exaggerated story.”

“I don' know....”

“I'll be fine really, I’m perfectly capable of getting myself from A to B. Okay?”

“Okay.”

She kicked the covers off and forced herself away from him and out of bed. “Time to get ready then.”

“Aaaaaah” YungJi stretched his arms and started to get up. “I'll just shower when I get back to the hotel.”

* * *

Sora clutched tightly onto the bouquet of flowers in her hand and breathed the cold morning air in slowly. It was still early, the only noise being the sound of the wind rustling the leaves of the trees, and the occasional conversation between birds.

She knelt down next to her mothers headstone, placing the wild flowers in the small pot.

“Hi mum.” Silent tears ran down her cheeks.

“I'm sorry it took me this long to come visit you. I know you wouldn’t be angry though, you were never an angry person. Even when I did something wrong, I don't remember you shouting at me, not once.” She sat back on the heels of her feet.

“I miss you mum.” her voice began to strain with suppressed emotions. “So much it hurts, everyday, no matter what I always get this lonely feeling, because you're not here with us. And that feeling grows, because I know that I’ll never get you back, not in this world.” She ran her fingers through the long strands of her hair, unconsciously trying to move it from her face.

“But I have to keep going, don't I. I have to...... At first I thought these nightmares were a punishment, one that I’ve endured since a child. A constant reminder of your death. But I’ve realised that it's not a punishment, I think it's just because I’ve always wanted to remember. I need to, after all memories keep a person alive in your heart. If I don't have my memories of you then, it makes losing you even sadder.

Its the only way I can make peace with all of this. I need you to let me remember now, I know you've been protecting me up there, but I promise I’ll be okay. No matter what I’ll be okay, because I have dad, grandma, grandpa, Mio, Teru, Nao and Yung.......” She found herself gazing at the wild flowers she had placed in the pot and the bunch of roses and tulips next to them.

“Dad told me that my name meant that my life would be limitless, because the sky is the limit, as the saying goes.” she laughed to herself, holding back her tears. “So only I could limit myself. He also said that when he was apart from us he would always know that you and him were forever connected through me because no matter where you are you can always see the same sky. That’s how I know you can see me know, always watching over me.” She leaned her head back, letting the morning sun warm her face.

“That's how I know you'll be cheering for me today, supporting my first performance in London. Because I wouldn't have gotten this far without you mum. And I promise I wont stop till I get to where I want to be. To who I want to be.” She felt the continuous flow of tears falling down her cheeks, as she reached out to place her hand on the picture on the headstone; needing that physical connection to keep herself together.

“ Aishiteru [I love you].”

13 Looking in the mirror  ........part 1

>> Sora-chan don't cry, I’m here for you.<<

“Sora!”

“huh?”

“Put your phone away, come on, you already came late. I know you had your reasons, but now you need to focus the concert is tonight you know.”

“I know, sorry, just got some random text....maybe Nao changed her phone again and forgot to tell me wouldn’t be the first time.” She sighed and put her phone away in her gym bag, and returned to the rehearsals.

*

“Nervous?”

“Yutaka senpai, umm just a bit.”

“Well you have no reason to be, rehearsals went really well, you'll be fine.”

“Arigato senpai.”

“No problem, listen I know you went to see your mum today. I never met her but, I’m sure she'd be really proud, I mean it.”

“Thank you, that means a lot. It really does, you, Taro and Hayato have always looked out for me, I’m glad I can be part of this concert, standing on the same stage as you three.”

“Five minuets and we're starting, Doping Panda need to get ready to go on stage now.”

“Okay on my way. See you on stage Sora.”

“Um.”

*

I took a deep breath as I stepped onto the stage. That feeling, excitement, energy, the feeling of being alive. If felt more then good, it felt long overdue. I felt like myself again, it had been so long.

“Mina-san thank you so much for supporting my senpais concert here in London my home town!! As a special thank you I will be performing two songs the first is the song I debuted with in Japan it's called Broken Mirrors.

This song means so much to me, it talks about all those times I was put down and rejected because no one would give me a chance, everyone just judged me by face value. Sometimes I would look in the mirror and no longer be able to see who I really was. When I wrote this song I wanted to give strength to anyone who has ever felt the same, to be able to break past those negative emotions and embrace themselves for themselves and not for what people try to tell them they are.

The second song is called Glass heart, I believe this song reflects the fragility that exists in all of us, even those who think that they are made of steel, me included. It is those times, when we realise our fragility that we learn who we really are. And we become stronger because of it.” I thought about how much I had changed in just the past couple of weeks, I felt proud of myself for once. This is what growing up really was, learning who you are, and becoming who you want to be.

I let the music embrace me.

*

“Well done.”

“Congratulations!”

“The concert was a real success, I hope we can work together again in the future, Japanese and Korean music is getting a lot more attention in western markets now. And we would like to be the driving force behind it.” I shook hands with the music executive.

“Thank you, I look forward to working with you in the future.”

She felt a hand rest on my shoulder as a familiar voice caught her attention. “Congratulations Sora, you looked amazing out there.”

Sora turned around, and stood rooted to the spot. “Kouta? What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to surprise you. Can we go somewhere quieter so we can talk?” She nodded her head slowly.

“Look, I know it's a bit of a shock me turning up here, considering how things ended with us, but I promised didn't I?” Sora stood silent, maybe a couple of days ago she would have flinched at the mention of their breakup but not any more. She had moved on now. “A promise is a promise right?”

He was right, it had been so long ago that they had made that promise with each other. Both of them had been trainees in different companies when they had met. A year into the relationship things had gotten serious between them, it was around that time Kouta had made his debut in his first drama. Even though she had had to sneak out of practice, she had made sure to wish him luck on set. It was then that he promised no matter what he would be there to wish her luck when she finally gained enough popularity to perform on stage in London, he knew that was her dream.

“Thank you.” She meant it, it meant a lot to her that he had at the very least kept that promise to her.

“It's the least I could do.” He took her hand, “The way things ended, you wouldn't except my calls—”

She pulled her hand away, and saw the look of regret in his face “I forgive you I really do, but I can't forget Kouta. You abandoned me. Accused me of being the person who leaked our relationship to the press, as if I would have ever betrayed you. When the media attacked me, you stayed silent. When the anti fan groups spread all those rumours online, hacking into my computer, sharing our memories with everyone. You weren't there to hold my hand. You believed everyone else but not me. You even started dating your co worker without even breaking up with me face to face. It wasn’t until my dad had to step in and clear the mess up, finding the culprit who had talked to the press, your then new girlfriend, and suing her for damages, that you suddenly wanted forgiveness. That's not what real love is. You destroyed any chance of that kind of love, after three years you turned your back on me.” And here they stood a year later.

“I know I did.” He looked into her eyes, searching for any hint of the feelings she once had for him, “I'm sorry”, but there weren't any there. He was too late.

“I'm sorry too, sorry that it took you so long to say that.” She took a deep breath, “I hope you're able to find happiness again Kouta, because I’ve found mine.” She thought about YungJi and couldn't wait to get home, knowing it meant seeing him.

Kouta couldn't fail to miss the look in her eyes, and felt a pang of jealous. Once upon a time she had looked at him with that expression. “Whose the lucky guy?”

She looked startled for a second, he could still read her like an open book apparently, “Hmm just someone very special to me now, his name is Yung.” She couldn't stop a smile forming on her face.

“I'm glad you're happy you know, I really am. Maybe we can try to be friends again?”

“That would be nice. ”

“I hope he doesn't screw up like I did.” He joked.

“I know he won't.” She smiled back and lightly punched him on the shoulder.

“I guess this is goodbye for now then.” He held out his hand for her to shake, and was surprised when she hugged him warmly.

“Goodbye Kouta.” He went to walk out of the dressing room door. “Ah Kouta! Good luck with your latest drama, I’m sure it will do very well.”

“Thank you.” Sora watched as he closed the door behind him, a part of her wished he had done this a year ago, so that she did not have to suffer like she had, but then she wouldn't have met Yung. In the end she felt that things just had a way of working out.

As Kouta walked down the corridor he saw a familiar face, Mio. The truth was, he was a bit afraid of her, last time they had been face to face was a year ago when she had turned up at his apartment and slapped him in anger at what he had put her cousin through. But he felt like he should stop being cowardly, as he went to approach her he saw her talking to a guy and overheard their conversation.

“Yung, what are doing here? I thought you guys had activities scheduled till late?”

“Yeah we did, but I couldn't miss this chance to see Sora live, after working with her I’ve become a big fan.”

“Thats nice to hear, I don't suppose you've got the email address for the manager in charge of tomorrows video shoot.”

“Yeah hold on.” he took out his phone, “I'll message it to you.”

“Thank you.” Something caught her eye. “Nice phone charm.”

“Ah” she noticed his slight blush “thanks. I’m just going to find Sora now.”

“Okay see you later.” Mio, was a bright person so it didn't take her long to connect the image of his phone charm with Sora's. Something was up. Kouta approached her.

“Kouta?” Now this really was a surprise. “What are you doing here?” Kouta could hear the slight edge to her voice, yep she as still angry.

“I just came to talk to Sora,” she gave him a disapproving look “don't worry I just came to apologise not to cause any more trouble. I just wanted to apologise to you to.”

She looked him up and down, letting him sweat a bit before answering, “apology accepted.”

“I'm glad that she's found someone. Maybe I can be as happy as she is again too.” Mio frowned mentally.

“Yeah Yung is a nice guy.” She kept a smile on her face.

“I'm sure he is.” This was the confirmation she needed. “Anyways I hope next time we meet it will be as friends. I better get going, bye Mio.”

“Bye-bye Kouta.”

Mio was left with one thought: her and Sora needed to have words.

Looking in the mirror....................Part 2

But she would let it go for tonight, after all she deserved this one night, at least, to celebrate with her friends, to enjoy being a teenager. And she had other, more urgent, things that needed to be sorted out and quickly. She sighed to herself in exasperation, she had heard the Korean term 'sasaeng fan' before but this was a first for her.

She whipped out her blackberry phone and began taking precautions.

*

>>Sora well done with your performance! Sori we cudnt be there >.< me and Teru are gonna hang out with the boys tonight and stay over at theirs. So have fun celebrating with Yung :3 [Teru said ->] dont do anything I wudnt >////< xx <<

“Sora?” She looked up, “let's go.” Yung smiled down at her. Sora quickly pushed her phone into her bag and hoped that he couldn't tell that she was blushing. Those two really were a handful sometimes, but she was grateful that they had arranged it so that she could spend some quality time with him. “Come on, I’ve got a surprise for you!”

*

“Ready open your eyes.” Sora opened her eyes and couldn't stop a wide smile forming on her face. No one had ever arranged a surprise for her before, let alone something so thoughtfully romantic.

She looked around taking in her surroundings, white twinkling fairy lights, flickering candles on each table. It was the restaurant they had first met each other, the small American Italian restaurant in Covent garden. She stood rooted to the spot in shock, she was truly touched by what he had done. She couldn't begin to imagine how much it would cost to rent out an entire restaurant.

She turned her attention to the table in the centre, a beautiful deep purple orchid was placed in an elegant long glass vase. And on the table were her absolute favourites from the menu.

How did he even know?

A proper ice-cream vanilla milkshake, which just had to be hers, and a chocolate one, definitely his. And a large four cheese and tomato pizza, the thin crispy base and perfectly melted cheese literally called to her stomach. And to top it off mozzarella sticks, which had become a favourite of hers since her trip to New York as a child with her dad. And this was one of the few places you could find decent ones in London.

“YungJi this is the sweetest, the most touching thing anybody has ever done for me.” She wrapped her arms around him whilst placing a shy kiss on his lips.

“What are you waiting for then my cute little yeobo.”

Needing no more encouragement Sora sat in the chair he held out for her.

It was official he was the perfect boyfriend for her.

*

“I'm glad you liked the surprise.”

“Yung honestly, you surprising me by coming to my performance was more then enough. This, this is just amazing. Arigato ne, hontoni, arigato.”

YungJi couldn't stop himself from grinning whilst adjusting the tilt of his cap, he didn’t need to understand the Japanese words that she spoke, the expression on her face was enough. Seeing her happy was more then enough of a reward for all of the work he had to put in to make this happen. Arranging it with the restaurant manager, getting his hyungs to cover for him being MIA for the later half of their schedules. But the smile on her face made everything worth it. “I know this performance really mattered to you and I wanted you to know how much it meant to me as a result. Also I just wanted to keep that smile on your face, I’m glad that you're really beginning to make peace with the things that happened with your mum.”

“Thank you.” those were the only words she could say. She hoped that the emotions behind them came across.

He smiled, “Also, you looked a bit sad when I came to surprise you in your dressing room. But you seem much better now.”

Sora moved her half empty vanilla milkshake to one side, “Yung about that.” She forced herself to not be a coward and keep direct eye contact with him. “My ex-boyfriend, he came to see me, before you came that is.” She continued on, nerves evident in her voice. “I mean it was a complete surprise, he just turned up I didn't invite him or anything.” She sat waiting for a response.

Would he be angry? Did he trust her? …...........Believe her?

YungJi stayed relaxed and answered calmly, trying to ignore the sudden tightness in his chest that was definitely jealousy being fuelled by an unexpected feeling of possessiveness. “What did he want?”

“He wanted to talk to me.” She took a silent breath, better to tell the truth right. “He wanted a second chance.”

He knew the answer deep down, but he still had to ask, he felt weak for it, but he was still insecure. No matter how deeply he felt for her, he knew their relationship was premature compared to her previous one. “And you?”

Sora's eyes widened in shock, was he serious? Her facial features softened. “I turned him down,” she reached over for his hand “of course I did, because even if there was a time when I loved him, I’m in love with you. Baka.” The relief on his face made her heart ache.

“Good, or else I would have felt really stupid for buying this.” He let go of her hand and reached into his pocket to bring out a small black velvet ring box.

Sora held her breath unconsciously....he wasn't was he? And if he was what then?

He opened the box to reveal two rings, sterling silver each with a gemstone and engraved with their names. “They're couple rings.” He smiled at her as he placed hers on her finger. “Think of it as a promise, because one day I’ll definitely propose.”

She let herself breath again, it was strange, a small part of her was disappointed that it wasn't more, but then he had just all but said he wanted to marry her just not now, which brought a massive smile to her face at the thought of their future together. “They're beautiful.”

Knowing who you are

The walk back to the flat was nice, just holding hands was enough to make them both happy. Sora wanted to savour these times because even if neither of them wanted to talk about it, their time in London was coming to an end, which meant moments like this wouldn't happen so often.

Seeing Sora lost in thought Yung gave her hand a little squeeze which brought a small smile back to her face.

“What's wrong?” He slowed down and turned to face her.

“Nothing its fine.”

“Really” he sighed knowing that something was definitely bugging her, “Hold on I’ll be right back.”

“Ah—” but before Sora could say anything to stop him he was already off.

Sora leaned against a lamp post beside the road. She hadn’t meant to put such a damper on what was one the best evenings in her life. She glanced down at her watch, 11:30pm, and then just stood wondering where Yung could have gotten to.

“Dad! Dad! Hurry up, hurry!”

“Michael, slow down I’m coming.” Sora smiled at the cute little boy carrying a miniature football under one arm, and the tired father running up behind him. “Gotch ya, you little muchkin. Come on, we better get home before your mother calls.”

“Put me down put me down!” She watched as he wiggled about in his football uniform.

“Alright, alright. Hold on now I just need to take some money out from the cash machine. Stay next to me.”

She watched as the boy started to play around with his ball, somewhat jealous of how much fun he seemed to be having because of something so simple. Being a child and so carefree looked like so much fun in retrospect. A part of her felt that she lost out on that childhood.

She watched as he played the clapping game, throwing the ball up in the air once and then clapping once, twice and then clapping twice and so on. Until he got to six and didn't manage to catch the ball. She frowned at his obviously disappointed expression and then got concerned when the boy started to follow the path of the rolling ball, which was heading in the direction of the road.

“Sora? Sora?!” Alicia turned around in confusion frantically searching for her daughter.

“Michael? Michael?!” The man turned around after finishing his transaction realising his son had begun to wonder off.

“Sora no! Watch out!—” Alicia's eyes widened in horror at what was about to happen if she didn't do something, the car was turning the corner too fast and the driver seemed preoccupied with his phone conversation when he should have had his eyes on the road.

“Michael!! Michael stop!” He ran after him.

Alicia ran out knowing that she had seconds to save their precious daughter, she made a choice and pushed her daughter out of the way.

Sora moved at the same time knowing she was closer. She grabbed hold of the boys collar just as he stepped out onto the road, pulling him away from the fast approaching cab. The car horn blared at them but she ignored it, feeling only relief as she fell backwards with the boy safely in her arms.

“Michael! Thank god!” The man reached down to help Sora up. “Thank you so much! I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to him.” He wrapped his arms protectively around the boy who now stood crying from the shock of what had just happened.

Sora stood up, what had just happened? Those images that had flashed through her mind, they were so clear....... “Say thank you Michael.” Her attention went back to the boy.

“Thank you.” The little boy wiped away his tears and hugged her.

“Its fine, but from now on make sure to listen to your dad, OK?”

“Okay.”

The father continued to thank her before leaving with his son, his hand tightly wrapped around his.

Sora once again found herself standing alone, but this time she was consumed by her thoughts. They weren't just images that had flashed randomly through her mind, they were memories of the accident.

I walked out on to the road. Just like the boy, I was following something. She shut her eyes trying her best to concentrate. What was it? ….....I dropped something.........? we had been at the park playing and then we were walking back home..............but we stopped by this shop display, it was filled with brightly displayed jewellery and craft items, mum was talking on the phone...........her face looked upset. I was just playing around with something, and one dropped and rolled away.........I just didn't think.....I just followed it without saying anything................And then I remember this loud noise, just like today, a car horn, and this feeling of being pushed and then the force of hitting the side of the pavement and—

“Sora!” Her eyes opened startled. “I'm sorry it took me so long” he held out a twister ice lolly “this is one of your favourites right, it took me ages to find a place that sold it at this time.”

He stood and waited for an answer, and then got worried by the strange expression on her face, “...Sora?”

“Ah, thank you. Yeah it is one of my favourites.” He watched as she forced a smile on her face. He didn't understand, her mood seemed worst then before.......

“Sora, are you okay?”

It took everything in her not to break down and cry, the truth was she didn't have the confidence to tell him. I killed her.......she died to protect me. She didn't know what to do any more, how had things changed so drastically from ten minutes ago let alone from the afternoon. Where had her strength gone.

“Sora?”

“I'm just tired. I guess the concert took more out of me then I realised.” She smiled at him as best as she could, knowing that she couldn't hid the stillness in her voice. “I just need to get home, you know, get some proper sleep for tomorrows shoot.”

Yung was still worried he knew just by looking at her eyes that there was more going on, but he just had to trust that she would tell him when she was ready. “Okay, let's go, I’ll get a cab.”

*

“Are you sure you don't want me to stay over? I’m just worried.....”

“I'm fine, really I just need to sleep that’s all. I’m fine.” She knew she was repeating herself too much but she just couldn't think of anything else to say, she had already texted Nao and Teru and asked them to come back to the flat instead of staying over. “I'll see you on set tomorrow right? Last day of filming with you guys, I’m excited.” Yung frowned inwardly, last day of filming, he hadn't even realised it himself. Was this what was bothering her?

“So am I.” She turned to open the door, “Sora,” she turned back to face him “saranghaeyo.” She stood rooted to the spot as his eyes held hers in an intense gaze. She had heard him say it before, but now she understood it, he had the same conviction in his voice that she had when speaking at her mothers grave.

“I love you to.” .She whispered the words back, before turning back and leaving him. But I need to sort myself out....

*

Sora sat on her bed clutching her phone, she had been staring at it for hours now, waiting till she was sure both Teru and Nao were asleep. She brushed away her tears with the back of her hand, she needed to speak to someone, and there was only one person who she knew she could call at this time.

She waited as the phone rang.

“Mushi mushi Sora-chan daijoubu desuka? [hello, Sora are you okay?]”

“Otou-san [Dad]” she felt herself start choking up as tears rolled down her face, “I—I've done something unforgivable.”

“Sora.” Shiro rose from his chair in concern.

“I—it was my fault the accident. Mum, I killed her.” her voice came out as a chocked whisper.

He froze for a second, trying to digest her words. “Sora.....”

“I went out into the road, she pushed me out the way.” The words came out as a muddled rush of emotions. “...Tou-san [more informal like daddy]........I—”

“Don't cry” he could feel his daughters pain through the phone and it hurt him not to be there to console her. “Listen sweetheart, it’ll be okay everything will be okay.” He heard her hiccup, struggling to breath through all her crying. “Listen to me. I promise we will get through this together okay?”

“But” she struggled to get the words out clearly, “I'm a murderer dad. It's all my fault. Don't you hate me? I took her away from you. I took away the person you loved. If—”

“What ever happened it's not unforgivable. That's something I made peace with long ago. This doesn't change that Sora. What happened was an accident, you didn't do anything on purpose okay? Some things are just out of our hands. They just happen, like a game of chance and fate. We just have to believe that things happen for a reason. If your mother hadn't have made that decision I know she wouldn't have been able to be at peace with herself.

I would never throw that decision back in your face. Do you understand that, never. I—we, love you so much Sora. Love isn't something that can be tossed aside.”

“Otou-san. I’m so sorry I love you both so much too. If I could change this I would.”

“I know sweetheart, I’ve said that to myself countless times. If I could I would swap places with your mother in a heart beat. But we can't. So we have to keep living well in her memory.”

“I know.” She felt herself calm down, as the pain dulled. She knew that the guilt would never go away though. “I know.”

“Listen go to bed okay, it must be really late over there. Get some sleep. I’ll be on the next flight over.”

“Otou-san—”

“No arguments. I’ll be on the next flight over from New York in the morning, family comes first no matter what.”

Sora felt relieved, she really needed her dad right now.

*

Sora woke up feeling more refreshed and herself again, if she had had dreams she couldn't remember them but at least they weren't nightmares. She looked at herself in her bathroom mirror before splashing more water on her face. Wasn't it just yesterday that she had been telling people that it was when you were at your lowest point that you really found who you are. Well she was strong, not weak, whatever her demons were she would face them and overcome them. She would not let herself crumble because of something that was no longer in her hands.

Today was her last day of filming with the guys and although there were still a few other activities after, and the guys still had some scenes to edit, she wanted to really enjoy her last day on set with them and everyone else. Despite everything, her time in London had been one of the best experiences abroad ever. Meeting Iconic and making some life long friends, finding a relationship. Being able to visit her mothers grave, performing on stage, making some really good contacts. But most of all just being able to walk around freely without having to worry about bumping into fans. It sounded selfish but meeting one fan at a time, that was fine, being bombarded with a whole bunch at once was just scary. She would really miss this, the late night trips to the corner shop, going shopping with Yung, eating out after a long day of practice. These were the good things in life.

*

“Hyung are you okay?”

“MinSo-ah, yeah I’m okay, just a bit worried.”

“Did something happen?”

“I don't know, I think so, she just hasn't talked to me about it yet....”

“Don't worry hyung, Teru said that Sora tends to try and solve problems herself before talking to others. So I’m sure she'll talk to you when she's ready.”

“Umm araso.”

“Come on we better get into hair and make up otherwise Nao and the other ssaems will get annoyed at us.”

“Yeah let's go.”

Hair and make-up didn't take too long, within the next two hours ICONIC were ready each in their outfits on set. Yung checked his phone for the hundredth time, but still there were no messages from her.

“Ah Mio-ssi.”

“YungJi-kun, good morning.”

“Good morning, I’m guessing you being here means Sora's here right?”

“Right.” He couldn't help but here the slight edge to her voice. “YungJi, would you mind if I talked with you for a minute? It won't take long.”

“Sure.”

“Look. I’m Sora's manager but I’m her cousin first, understand? She's like the younger sister I never had, I’ve always looked out for her because she means the world to me. Even when my mother, her aunt, showed her hate, she held no prejudice against me. And yet people treated her with unjustified prejudice on a day to day basis. I made a mistake when I judged Kouta's personality. Now I’m wondering if I’ve made a mistake judging you.”

Yung stood rooted to the spot, suddenly under interrogation.

“Being in a relationship takes serious commitment for anyone, for an idol, it takes more. People in this industry love to see someone go from a nobody to a somebody. But what they like even more is seeing that person fall from that pedestal. Wakarimasu ka? [understand?] I don't want her to go through another scandal. Or for you to for that matter. I’m upset that you both kept your relationship from me and your manager, but as her cousin I do understand. What I want to know is what now? She lives in Japan, you live in Korea. You're both at the prime of your careers, so where does a relationship fit into all of this?”

She waited for an answer.

“I don't know.” No matter how much he wanted to deny it, he had been asking himself that same question a lot these last couple of days. “I just know that I don't want us, our relationship, to end. I care about her a lot Mio. And I’m sorry we kept this from you, but I think at the beginning we were both unsure about what we wanted, about our feelings for each other. I know this isn't the most confident answer, but it is honest, but I can promise you that I will never do anything that puts her in a harmful situation.”

Mio took note of his serious expression, and the honestly in his eyes. “Okay. Look here's what we are going to do. I’m going to have a word with Sora after the shoot. Me, you, her and your manager will sit down together and talk about this as adults. After all I can see that your serious, and knowing her she'll be just as stubborn as you. In the meantime, I'd appreciate it if you two kept a friendly distance from one another. We can't afford other people getting the wrong impression.”

Yung grimaced, I guess that means no staying over at hers tonight. Mio didn't miss his change in expression. “I'm serious Yung, we're having a small security problem right now.”

“Security problem?”

“....We found a blog online it seems that a very enthusiastic fan has been following Sora. We're not sure how credibly it is though. They haven't posted any bad images that we know about, but in some of the comments they're talking about very particular places that we've been shooting at. But we've got it under control, I’m just taking some extra precautions, especially as, because of the concert, a lot more people are aware that she's somewhere in London. I’ve not told Sora yet though, she had a lot on her plate, with her mum and I’m guessing you too now, I just don't want her to freak out about it, it's just not the right time.”

Yung nodded in approval, after seeing her mood yesterday, she certainly didn't need any thing else to upset her. “I understand I’ll be careful.”

“Good.” She smiled at him with a certain amount of respect and gratitude, it seemed like he really did care. “Look, Sora's just by the café we're filming by. She's not looking 100% herself right now, maybe you could go cheer her up, as a friend.” she added.

“No problem.”

*

Sora smiled softly as Yung approached her.

“Hey” she said.

“Hey.”

“About yesterday...”

“Don't worry about it, just tell me when you're ready okay? Just know that whatever's troubling you I’m always here to talk to.”

“I know. And I promise I will, I just need to....sort things out in my head a bit more I guess. Just give me a bit more time, it's not that I don't trust you. I love you, so much Yung, you wouldn't understand how much. I just...need more time.”

“I understand yeobo. I do.” He wanted to kiss her, to comfort her more, but he had heard Mio's warnings loud and clear, so he gave her hand a quick squeeze.

“Come on let's go enjoy our last day on set together. Miss biker chick.”

Sora burst into laughter. “I can't believe I’m doing this stunt myself. I’m so excited.”

“Be careful though, okay?”

“Don't worry, it's not the first time I’ve been on a motorbike, Mio may not look the type but she owns one, so I’ve had the odd ride here and there. Plus it's pretty simple just act out my scene with you then we'll do the stunt takes. All I have to do is drive down the road and turn the corner out of shot.”

“I know, just make sure you're wearing all the safety gear, and don't become too much of an adrenaline junky with the speed, OK?”

“Um, promise not to go too crazy with it.” She laughed some more, wondering how it was that he could cheer her up like this. “Let's go.”

*

“Good job on set today guys.”

“Thank you Choi-ssi.” Yung and the guys all said in unison as they bowed.

“Come on lets go and take a look at Sora's stunt scene.” MinSo whined grabbing a hold of YunHwa's arm.

“Araso, araso.” YunHwa pulled his arm away, “geeze your in such a hurry, anyone would think that you couldn't stand to be away from a certain someone's friend.” MinSo blushed.

“Shut up hyung I just want to support Sora, there's no harm in that right?”

“Yeah yeah. Come on JaeMan-ah, Yung-ah.”

“Yeah why not I’m sure Sora on a motorbike will be a site I won't want to miss. Right Yung?”

Yung hit him hard on the shoulder. “Yeah my yeobo will look good, she always looks good.” They all laughed at Yung's new found possessiveness, it would become a new game of theirs.

“Come on then!” MinSo rushed off.

They sat by the side of the road safely out of the way. JaeMan was right Sora looked good, really good. She wore the motorbike gear as if she was wearing high end fashion, with style and elegance. He watched as her first take went well, it seemed that he really didn't have to worry she was good.

“Okay, let's do a couple more takes” the director called out.

*

“Hello, yes, okay. Yes, I understand.” Mio excused herself from the rest of the team, who were busy filming Sora's scene and went to find a quieter area to talk. “Listen find a way to take down those photos right now......what do you mean they've been up since morning. I couldn't care less about how long they've been up find a way to take them down now!” She couldn't hide the anger in her voice, she hung up the phone, only for it to ring minutes later.

“Hello? What no?......Listen I don't know what magazine or newspaper you're working for but I only have one thing to say NO COMMENT!”

*

YunHwa noticed that Nao was looking a bit more flustered then usual as she rummaged through her bag. “What's up?”

“Arhh, I wanted to take loads of pictures seeing as it's our last day on set together but I’ve run out of memory. I don't suppose one of you guys has a camera I can borrow?”

“Umm I think MinSo does” he turned to look for him only to see him a bit preoccupied with Teru. “Yung! Hey, did MinSo bring his camera in today?”

“Umm I think so.”

“Could you go check, Nao was looking for one.”

“Yeah sure,” he turned back to the filming, she only had one take left anyways “I'll be back in a second.”

It took Yung a bit longer then expected to even find MinSo's bag in the temporary dressing room, but after rooting around for it and opening it up he finally found the camera.

He heard a loud ruck-us coming from outside, and then footsteps that came rushing in his direction. The door swung open and YunHwa came crashing in.

“YungJi!” he could see the urgency and distress in his eyes, and noted how he called him by his full name, “Yung—Sora, she, there's been an accident.”

*

It was like being underwater.

I knew people were trying to talk to me but the sounds were muffled, echo like. The words were just sounds that were not quite reaching my ears as if they were talking to me from outside the water I was submerged in.

Figures were blurry, and I could feel my eyes sting with the strain and effort required to keep them open. I always hated swimming without goggles, the blurred vision was so disorientating.

I closed my eyes, finally feeling more peaceful in the calm darkness that settled around me. The noises became louder, more distressed, crashing around me, disturbing my new found peace, rattling my world, like the wind of a tornado lashing out at an old wooden window.

But soon the tornado was gone, replaced by the silence that wrapped around me securely, keeping me afloat, leaving me with what was left of my thoughts.

It was a strange world.

That was what I thought as a child.

How was it people lived knowing they would die? Knowing that in the end there was an end. But unlike in a story book were you could physically see how many pages were left and anticipate when the ending would come, with life you didn't. How was everyone else so brave?

Was I the only one who was afraid......

I remembered the look on my mums face as she died. How was it that I had ever forgotten?

It was a strange peace, this sense of calm.

Calm......I let the emotion flow through me

Calm....I let go of the things weighing me down

Calm.....Perhaps this was retribution

I thought of the unknown and held on to the belief that I might see my mum again.

The thought was soothing as I let myself float

Doing what's best

YungJi sat outside the operating room, desperately trying to go through every detail in his head, trying to workout were everything had gone so wrong. He gripped his head within his hands and stared blankly at the sterile off-white floors. He tried his best not to move afraid that he might crumble to pieces.

He listened as Mio paced back and forth, and heard her stifled tears and irregular breathing. Nao and Teru tried their best to comfort her, as the guys tried their best to comfort him. But he knew, just as it would be for Mio, that nothing would comfort him, not until Sora was out of the operating room and safe back in his arms.

They all turned as the sound of the double wide corridor doors slammed against the walls.

“Where is she!” Mio turned recognising the voice, “where is she Mio?”

“Uncle.” She saw the panicked look in his eyes, “I'm so sorry this is my fault uncle. Please forgive me. There,” she tried her best to keep her speech coherent but the words just weren’t coming out right, “was an accident on set today.”

Shiro Takata looked at his niece, trying to process her words, “what happened Mio? I don't understand.” He didn't mean for the words to come out so cold, and didn't miss the pain and guilt that flashed through her eyes. But that was his baby in there, his little girl.

“We were having problems with security, a fan had been posting about Sora online. We, I thought it was under control. But this morning they released some pictures. They upset a lot of people.”

“What type of pictures?”

“Pictures of Sora with another Idol.”

YungJi flinched.

“Who?”

“Sora has been dating recently,” Mio paused “dating Park YungJi.” Her eyes flickered in Yung's direction, Shiro followed her line of site and saw the broken figure of YungJi huddled on the floor against the chairs, his head in his hands resting on his knees.

He kept his voice steady. “Continue.”

“Some fans used some of the pictures and information that was posted to find the location of the video shoot. I don't know what they wanted to do but, a couple of them ended up running around looking for her, they just ran out into the road. Sora was filming the stunt scene.” She felt the tears run down her face, “she must have seen them coming, because it looked like she tried to stop, but the timing wasn't right, there just wasn't enough time for that. So she tried to turn, too sharply.......

The doctors said that she could have died instantly, if it weren't for the safety gear. But there are complications, the impact of the crash ruptured a blood vessel in her brain, they're operating now, but there are no guarantees to the outcome. She might be drain damaged or have a completely different personality, or never walk again. It varies from person to person......she might not even make it through the operation.” She broke down in tears.

Shiro reached over and hugged her tightly. “It's okay Mio, I’m sorry, I’m not blaming you, I’m just angry at myself for not being there. For failing to protect someone I love for a second time.”

“I'm sorry uncle. I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I know. All we can do now is pray. Sora's a fighter, we have to believe that she will fight through this.”

*

“Have a seat.” The doctor ushered Mr Takata into his office.

“Please just tell me she'll be fine.” Mr Takata could not hid the desperation in his voice, he was mentally and physically exhausted, they all were. The operation had been long and they had still not been able to see Sora as she had been taken straight into intensive care to keep her condition monitored.

“I'm sorry Mr Takata, I can't make those kind of promises, I just can't. But what I can say is that we've got her into a stable state right now, she's fighting, and as long as she continues to fight we believe that she will recover.”

“Then can I finally see her?”

“Yes of course, we just wanted to prep you beforehand, some people find it quite distressing to see their loved ones like this. She will be hooked up to many different machines and monitors, but I have to stress, this is just so that we can give her the best care possible.”

“I understand.”

“I also need you to be aware that right now she's in a comatose state, now I don't want you to be overly concerned about this, it's not uncommon for patients who have head injuries to go into a coma, it's the brains way healing and protecting itself.”

“How long?” He felt his world close in on him tightly.

“We can't say, it varies person to person. But just have to keep monitoring her, and plan for her recovery.”

“Her recovery?”

“The chances of her coming out of this completely fine are low, because of the ruptured blood vessel, we are looking at a multitude of possibilities. Most patients that suffer from ruptured blood vessels suffer some form of disability afterwards.”

Shiro could not believe the words coming from the doctors mouth, that was his baby, his little girl. It was his job to make sure that she was safe, healthy. But he had failed.

“Mr Takata, Mr Takata—”

“My daughter, she's a performer, did you know that? Just like her mother. Dancing makes her smile, laugh, it makes her happy in life. Singing gave her confidence. This accident, will it take that away from her?”

Doctor Malvern looked at the defeated face in front of him. He hated this part of his job, the part were honestly could kill a person's soul. “Honestly, I have seen patients who have come out paralysed, and unable to speak, and who have had to go through years of therapy to recovery any of their original capabilities. But on the other hand I have seen patients who have recovered within the month.

I have children myself, so I can just about begin to relate to what you are feeling. All I can say is we have to believe in our children. Believe that they know how much we love them, and know how strong they really are. She's still quite young, so this will help her chances of a better recovery.”

“I understand, thank you so much Doctor, I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

*

“I'm sorry.” Yung held Sora's hand gently. “For everything. I should have been more careful with our relationship. I should have had the courage to make our relationship public, so that it wouldn't have been made public like this. I’m sorry that they were my fans that did this to you. I’m sorry that I wasn't there when it happened. I’m sorry that I couldn't hold your hand when you were lying there on the floor.” He broke down and finally let all his tears fall, as he brought his forehead down to her hand. “Please, forgive me......please. Open your eyes for me.....”

But there was no response, just the noise of the machines hooked up to her.

*

Shiro sat in to the hospitals canteen, opposite to YungJi. “You should eat something.” He motioned to the food that sat untouched in front of both of them. “Your friends are worried about you, so am I.”

Yung picked at some food lifelessly. He had no appetite, and had barely been sleeping the past couple of days. “I'm sorry.” these were the words he had wanted to say to Sora's father for days but had never had the courage to his face. “I didn't mean for any of this to happen.”

“I know, and I’m not blaming you for this. I wish that the both of you had come to me about your relationship in advance but I understand why you didn’t. And I can understand how you are feeling right now. When Alicia, Sora's mother passed away, I felt like I had failed as a person. If Sora hadn't have been there I’m not sure I would still be here today. She's my world, as I’m sure she's become yours.” He paused and took a sip of his coffee. “But I wonder if your relationship is what either of you need right now.” He placed his coffee cup back down.

“Your schedule in London is over now, correct? That means that you are meant to be back in Korea, I understand that you've been given some extra time, as Mio and Mr Choi are sorting out the press for this scandal, but that extra time will not last forever.” He paused to let Yung digest his words carefully. “I am also planning to transfer Sora back home to Japan, I want her to receive better treatment, and her grandparents would also like her to be closer to them. Family is very important to us.”

Yung looked defeated, “please don't take her away from me.” He sounded pathetic, and he knew it.

Shiro looked at him sadly, he wasn't trying to be the villain here, he just had to be realistic. “I'm not trying to take her away from you but you have to see things from my point of view. We don't know when she will wake up, and when she does what condition she will be in. You need to think about your options if she doesn’t wake up soon. You don't just have yourself to think about but your group, your family, your fans. You can't stay in this hospital forever, you have to move on at some point. You're still young.”

“I don't want to move on! Why should I? She's not dead is she. She could wake up whenever, I don't want her to wake up and think I abandoned her! I can't do that to her!”

Shiro reacted calmly to YungJi's outburst. Honestly, he liked the kid, he really did. He could see why Sora had fallen for him, he was a genuinely nice person, who loved her a lot. But his friends and his parents had both come to him in concern, he wasn't sleeping or eating. He wasn't even singing any more. And since finding out that it was in fact a handful of his fans who had caused the accident he had not been his usual bubbly self during the few press events they had had to attend. If he stayed like this much longer, he wouldn't just be a visitor he would become a patient at the hospital himself.

“I'm sorry, but I’ve already made the arrangements, she'll be transferred at the end of next week. Until then I’m happy to have you visit her as much as you like, but afterwards I hope you can respect my wishes as her father.” He stood up, giving Yung no chance to respond. “I'm doing what's best for everyone.”

*

 The feeling of someone stroking my hair roused me from my sleep.

“Finally awake huh, sleepy head.”

“Mmmmmm.” I opened my eyes slowly. “Yes I’m awake now.”

“About time, come on lets go for a walk.” Alicia helped her daughter up, and patted down her summer dress.

“Where are we going?”

“I thought you wanted to go to the park today?”

I thought about this for a second, “that would be nice.”

“Come on then, we can talk as we walk.” She grabbed hold of my hand.

I looked over at my mother, “What should we talk about?”

“Anything, I don't know about you but, I'd just like to listen to your voice. You've grown-up so much my beautiful baby girl.” Alicia smiled radiantly at her. “You look so much like you're father, but I can still see myself in you too. That's nice to know.”

I didn't really know what to say to that, so we continued to walk in a comfortable silence.

“What happened?” I whispered. I didn't really know if I was asking her in particular or myself. “What is this right now?”

“Well this is what it is. This is us walking together as mother and daughter. As to the first question why don't you tell me?”

“It was my last day on set.” My mother nodded her head listening to me intently. “And the guys and me had finished filming the acting scene outside the café. It's the last scene when the main guy realises that he's made a mistake and comes to get her back. But she rejects him.”

“I see.”

“It was the stunt scene next.” I slowed down forcing myself to really concentrate. “It was going fine, it's not the first time I’ve been on a motorbike you know, it wasn't particularly difficult. There was a small break between the two takes. I was going to go over to the guys but, Teru and MinSo looked busy, and so did Nao and YunHwa. And JaeMan was talking with HyunShik, I couldn't see Yung. So I asked the director if we could just continue.”

Alicia reached over and rubbed her arm up and down soothingly, trying to ease her daughters growing distress.

“It happened so quickly, but slowly. That sounds stupid right? I saw them out the corner of my eye, and I knew that I was going to hit them............Why were they even there mum?! I panicked, I knew it was too late to just stop, so I tried to turn to do something. And then, I just, I was just drowning.”

I felt my mother wrap her arms around me, rubbing my back rhythmically.

“I didn't hurt them did I? I didn't kill them, right? I don't know what I'd do if I was responsible for that, not after your accident.” I began to cry hysterically.

“Sweetheart. It's okay, it's okay. Those girls are perfectly fine. They weren't hurt, so stop worrying about it. Look at me. You are not responsible for my death. I chose to save you.”

I buried my head into my mothers shoulder.

“Do you understand that? I chose to save you. And I don't regret it. I will never regret that. Do you think I would have been able to live with myself if you died when I could have stopped it. I would never have been able to look Shiro in the eyes if I had been such a coward.”

“I'm sorry mum. I miss you so much.”

“I know. I’ll always love you baby, always.”

The Choices we make

Mio sat down next to YungJi.

“If you ignore all the machines it kind of just looks like she's sleeping doesn't it.”

“Yeah, I hope she isn’t having any nightmares any more.”

“I'm sure she's having good dreams, why else would she not wake up right.”

She watched as he traced the faint scar on her arm. “Did she tell you how she got that?”

“No, she never mentioned it.”

“When she first moved over to Japan, she had things hard you know. There were a lot of new things for her to learn. She wasn't really good at speaking Japanese yet. She had been getting a lot of trouble at school, whenever she said even the slightest thing wrong in Japanese, the other kids would have a go at her and call her a foreigner and stupid. She literally refused to speak anything other then Japanese at home because of it. But despite this they still ganged up on her, one of the boys in her class took it too far, and used a compass to see if she had the same colour blood as them.”

Yung listened with a look of disgust on his face, he wished he had been there that day to protect her from their stupidity and ignorance.

“Do you know, she didn't even shed a single tear about it until she got home. And even them they weren't angry tears, they were tears of frustration. When my uncle found he was the angriest I had ever seen him, but Sora made him promise not to do anything. She wanted to prove herself, even at that age. So uncle made sure that she learnt mixed martial arts so that she could protect herself.” A smile appeared on Mio's face. “So months later when the same boys tried to gang up on her again, lets just say, she really gave them what was coming. They never did bother her again.”

YungJi smiled, “Yeah, that sounds like Sora.”

“Right. I thought so too. She's a fighter Yung-kun, even if she doesn't realise it sometimes herself.”

“I know. I’m just afraid that I’m not strong enough without her.”

Mio rested a hand on his shoulder. “You have to be. Have you looked in the mirror lately, you look ill Yung. Do you want Sora to wake up to this? You know her, if she saw you like this she would blame herself for it. She'd be so worried seeing you like this.”

“I know but—”

“But nothing. Your group mates need you. You guys have been together for years now, you're just getting to where you want to be, you can't just give up on that dream now. Sora would never forgive herself if she was the reason for you not following your career path.”

“I know...”

“Even if you don't do it for yourself, do it for her. Sing for her. Dance for her. Be happy for her. Because I believe that happiness will become her strength.”

Mio's words really hit home for him, he knew deep down in his heart that she was right. “Okay.”

Mio smiled with relief. “We've sorted out things with the press. You should really thank YunHwa, MinSo, JaeMan and HyunShik. They've really had your back this past week.”

“I will.” Mio stood up to leave. “Mio, thank you, for being a friend.”

“No problem.”

*

“Hyungs, I’m really starting to get worried. Yung just hasn't been himself lately. When was the last time he even stayed in the flat longer then just to shower and change his clothes. He hasn't eaten with us since the accident. I don't even know what he's eating these days.” MinSo looked across the table at his hyungs.

“I know MinSo we're all worried too.”

“I've talked to Mio, she said she'd talk to him today.” JaeMan pushed the food around his plate, he was really worried too. Him and Yung had a love hate relationship, but right now he was really missing hanging out with his friend.

“I had a word with Mr Choi today, he said we can't put off activities any more,” they all turned to HyunShik, “I tried to get us more time, but he's adamant that we're already far behind.”

“I know,” YunHwa pushed his plate away in frustration “and he's right we are far behind. We made promises to our fans, we have concerts we're meant to be training for. But at the same time I’m not sure that YJ is up for it right now. We can't give our fans a bad performance.”

“And we won't.” They all turned to face Yung standing in the doorway.

“I'm sorry guys, for being MIA this past week and well you know since the accident. My heads just been everywhere recently. I just haven't been myself. It wasn't just Sora being in a coma but also the resentment I was feeling towards the fans who caused all this. It made me really question whether I wanted to be an idol if it meant this.”

He took a seat beside them. “But then I remembered why I wanted to be an idol to begin with. I love to sing, and dance and to just be on the stage. We've worked too hard for me to just throw that away for everyone. To throw away my dream like that would be an insult to Sora. She knows more then anyone how hard it is to get here, but she also knows it's worth it. And so do I. I won't hold any more resentment. I won't let this accident suck the life out of me. I promise to be there for you guys from now on.”

“Even if it means leaving Sora, which it does....” YunHwa looked at his best-friend seriously.

It took Yung longer to answer. “Yes. I know that she'll be looked after, her dad, Mio, the girls, her family, they all really love her. Maybe being home is what's best for her in the end. When she wakes up I want to be able to stand in front of her proudly feeling like myself, not like this.”

The guys all looked at him with respect, this was the YungJi they had been missing.

*

“This is the last time you'll see me for a while.” Yung lay carefully next to Sora, her hand in his, as he stared up at the blank ceiling. “But don't think that means I don't love you, okay babo. I could never stop loving you. Every time I step on stage I’ll be singing to you. Hoping that you'll hear me and come back to me. I’m not abandoning you okay. So you better not abandon me, so hurry and wake up already.” He turned to face her, lightly kissing her on the cheek. “I know your dad will make sure that you get the best treatment in the meantime.” He laughed lightly.

“I love how despite all the times we talked about our lives, you failed to mention the fact that your father is Takeshiro Takata, the Takeshiro. Like the multimillionaire corporate leader. I mean you're an heiress to one of the oldest Japanese families, and I didn't know. I wonder why you never told me, but maybe it's just because that doesn't matter to you.” He turned so that he was completely on his side facing her, and started to play with her hair a bit.

“There's so much more I want to know about you so wakeup yebeo, and tell me.” He waited for what seemed like ages before he sighed wistfully and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you Sora, I always be waiting for you.” He got up and closed the door behind him.

Mio was waiting for him outside.

“I know this is hard for you, but as an idol you just can't have the luxury of more time, and I’m sorry for that. I really am. But I just wanted you to know that I promise to keep you updated on her condition regularly, so please don't worry too much.”

“Thanks Mio, I’m glad she has a cousin like you.” He held back his tears, not wanting her to see him cry.

*

“YungJi-ssi its good to finally hear from you, I hear that you ready to continue schedules.”

“I will, but first I have a request.”

“Go on.”

“I want to make an announcement to the press, myself, no input from the company. Just me.”

He paused down the other end of the phone. “This could be more difficult then you think, she's not just any girl, and she's more then just an idol. She's the heir to the Takata family. Her family will not appreciate the attention of the press, they lead very private lives.”

“I'll talk to her father, and he will agree once he hears my reasons.”

Mr Choi hesitated, but could hear the conviction in his voice, this wasn't really up for negotiation. “Alright, I’ll see to it.”

I love you Sora, I’ll always be waiting for you.

We sat on the swings together, enjoying the warm summer breeze.

“There are times when I get really scared.” I said quietly, “because I can feel myself forgetting the small details. The sound of your voice, the way that you smile, the feel of your hand holding mine.....things like that. I always call dad and ask him to talk to me about you, but then I feel like they just aren't my memories they're his......”

“They're ours.” She smiled at me softly. “Memories do not belong to an individual, but to a collective. That's what makes memories strong, that's what makes them last. My memories, Shiro's memories, your memories, they are all connected.”

I smiled, “I like the sound of that....”

“.......Mum.”

“Yes sweetheart?”

“What happened that day? What really happened?”

Alicia stopped rocking on the swing, “are you sure you're ready to remember baby?”

I let me head hang backwards as my face basked in the sunshine, “I'm ready.”

Merry Christmas

5 months later

“Hyungs, hyungs! Have you seen this!” HyunShik came bursting through the door to the studio. “We just won a kTV award, our fans have really supported us!”

“Are you serious?! This is like the best present we could get for Christmas.” MinSo jumped from the sofa.

YunHwa soon followed and clapped him on the back. “This really is amazing, I mean really amazing. We have to thank our Icons, maybe we can do a fan meet.”

“Yeah I think a fan meet would be good, we need to keep our relationship with our fans secure...” YungJi didn't miss YunHwa nudging JaeMan before he could finish.

“It's fine he can say it. The accident did mess things up within our fan group, I’m not stupid. I read the articles, but I wasn't prepared to continue to lie about our relationship to people. I’m sorry that we lost some fans because they didn't want me to be in a relationship, but I'd rather have true fans left that can except it.”

“We know hyung don't worry, you don't need to explain yourself. After all we're not kids we're growing up it was bound to happen to one of us.” MinSo said honestly.

“Yeah man, I wasn't trying to take a dig at you.” JaeMan said unconsciously running his hands through his hair. “How's Sora doing anyway?”

“Okay, no change really, but she's stable.”

The guys all sat in a solemn silence. It had been 5 months now and still she hadn't woken up. They all wondered how YungJi would continue to cope, especially if things took a turn for the worst.

*

“Obaa-san ojii-san, please go get some rest, I’ll stay by Sora's side tonight. My mother sent over dinner, I’ve left it in the dinning room.”

Sora's grandmother stood up and walked up to her eldest grandchild. “Mio-chan, that is very kind of you, please pass on our thanks to my daughter.” She smiled at her wearily, unable to hide her fatigue.

“Of course obaa-san, ojii-san please go to.”

Sora's grandfather remained seated. “I'm fine.”

“Ojii—” He raised his hand up to silence her.

Ayumi Takata smiled at her husbands unchanging stubbornness, he did not show emotion openly, but he truly loved his grandchildren, but he held many regrets when it came to Sora. She walked over and placed a loving hand on his shoulders.“Yebeo, please, let's not worry our grandchild. Mio is perfectly capable of looking after her cousin while we eat and rest a bit.”

Yashiro Takata looked up in to the kind eyes of his wife. No matter how many years passed, she was still as beautiful and as wise as the day they had first met. He stood up and reluctantly let go of the hand of his sleeping granddaughter.

“Ahh I’m getting old.” He said jokingly as he stretched his back. “Not in my eyes.” Ayumi placed a kiss on his cheeks and led him out the room, giving Mio a small nod as they passed her.

Mio felt relieved to see her grandparents finally resting, they stayed by Sora's side almost constantly whenever Shiro was forced away on business.

She smiled wistfully down at Sora's still face, everyday she thanked god for the gentle rise and fall of her chest, and beeping of the machines, reminding her that she was simply in a state of sleep and was not already dead.

She let out a long sigh. “I hope you wake up soon idiot, don't you know how selfish your being, huh?! It's Christmas for Christ's sake. And that's coming from me, remember, the queen of selfishness. If it wasn't for you I’d still be the same spoilt bitch as I was back then. You really were the only person who could see past that though. I was really lonely...... This family isn't the easiest to be part of, your mother had to deal with that the hard way and so have you. Money isn't everything, but it defines a lot about a person, and even more about the people who surround you. I never really did thank you for being there for me. Being your manager really set me free, gave me the independence from this family that I really craved, even if my mother wasn't exactly behind me not taking up the family business, at least she can see how successful we've become on our own. So thank you baka and wake up soon. We all miss you so much.”

She got her mobile from her handbag, “Better give Teru and Nao a quick call to let them know how she's doing.”

*

Shiro threw his coat to one side and placed his bag beside the coffee table. He was exhausted, the meeting in Shanghai had taken longer then expected, and although it resulted in good things for the company's growth in China, it had meant he had been away for a week now.

He made his way down the corridor, his bare feet savouring the smoothness of the dark wood floorboards. It was nice to be back at the family home. A breath of tradition in the heart of modern Japan. As a kid he could remember days spent practising traditions on the tatimi mats of the guest rooms. He had many good memories here, and of course some bad.

He opened the door to the room where Sora was being kept. They had made the decision to move her out of the hospital and back home three months ago, in the hope that her being home would help. So far he just thanked whatever god was out there, that she remained stable. He smiled at the site of Mio sleeping. “My little niece thank you so much for looking out for her.” He whispered as he went to get a spare blanket from the cabinet, placing it over her shoulders to keep her warm.

He pulled up another chair on the other side of the bed, and tried to make himself as comfortable as possible. He tucked his daughter in and moved a strand of her hair out of her face. “Hello baby, I’m back just where I should be right by your side. Are you still dreaming sweetheart?”

“I brought you back a little something from Shanghai, an early Christmas present I suppose, I know how much you love it when you get a souvenir from my travels. After all you still have that old jersey I brought you from New York when you were just a little kid. This time I brought you back this” He reached into his pocket, “It's a small diamond crane. I have a thousand of them, just for you, but this one is special, see if you hold it up to the light you can see, just there, a hint of purple. And I know what you'd say, but you know how bad I am at arts and crafts it would have taken a lifetime and more for me, of all people, to fold them, and yes. Spending money on you is worth it.” He placed it on the table beside her.

“Sora, I just want you to wake up. Just wake up for your old man. It feels like I’m not living any more, in a world without Alicia and you, all I do is exist. I need you baby, so much. I just want you safe and back with me.” He held her hand tightly in his, almost in a position of prayer. The silence that settle in the room killed him.

The word that broke that silence came out as barely a whisper but it was enough.

“Dad.”

Shiro looked at his daughter in disbelief.

“Otou-san.” He felt her squeeze his hand lightly, snapping him out of his state of shock.

“I'm here sweetheart.” He stood up, letting his chair fall to floor, the noise waking up Mio.

“What's going......Sora?” Mio started crying out of a mixture of shock and relief. “Sora....”

“Dad, Mio.” Her voice sound hoarse and crackly from months of no use.

“Mio go get her some water, and call the doctor.”

“Of course! I’ll go wake up grandma and grandpa to! And call the girls!” She ran out the room, as quickly as she could.

A look of fear flashed across Sora's face as she tried to sit upright. “Dad I—”

“It's okay baby, everything's going to be okay. We're getting the doctor now.”

She tried to sit up out of frustration, moving the oxygen mask from her face, trying to get the words out as she felt herself slipping back into her state of sleep. “I can't feel my legs.”

***

“Look I can't do this, do you hear me?! I’ve moved on from that part of my life, I’m happy now. I just can't deal with this right now............I wasn't even eight when you walked out on us. And now you want me to call you dad? I have no father.”

Alicia tried to keep her voice low as she watched her daughter play on the swings.

“Listen Alicia, I know I wasn't there for you when you needed me—”

“When I needed you!” She closed her eyes forcing herself not to cry in public, not to let old emotions resurface. “I needed you that night Jason was killed, that day Mum passed away. When my dream of being a dancer faded away! Those were the times I needed you!” She grabbed her bag from the park bench, thanking god that it was a Sunday and the park was practically empty apart from the occasional early morning pensioner walking their dog.

This was meant to be a day for her and Sora to spend some quality time together. She had planned the whole thing out, playing in the park, going to a pottery painting session, the cinema and her favourite jerk chicken pizza and dessert.

“I'm sorry baby-girl.......”

She ignored the man who called himself her father and ushered Sora over, “Come on sweetheart, put your scarf back on, we're going. That's it, hold my hand.”

“Alicia....” Her father silently pleaded down the phone.

“What?” She snapped back. Sora gazed up at her mums angry expression worried.

“...I heard you got married, you've got a kid now......”

“And?”

“Look this isn't easy for me to ask, but, I need a loan.” Alicia stopped suddenly in her tracks, was this man serious?

Sora stood beside her following her mothers every word. “Mum?”

Alicia moved the mobile away from her ear, “I'm sorry sweetheart, mummy's just going to be a bit longer on the phone, why don't you play with those...what was it again. That prize you won at school for good behaviour last week?” She mentally kicked herself for not remembering, but she just had so much to deal with this last week.

“...the marbles Miss Kaye gave me?”

“Yes those.” She smiled down at her.

“Okay.”

“Don’t wonder!”

“I know mum~” She smiled, how was it she already sounded like a teenager, was she really growing up that fast.

She put the mobile back against her ear. “Alicia!....... Alicia!........ Alicia?......”

“.....You know what maybe if this conversation had gone a bit differently I would have considered lending you the money.” She turned to let herself briefly admire the display of the shop window they had stopped by. How many times had she walked past the beautiful jewellery on display always debating on whether to buy that one necklace..... “Maybe if you had shown some actual genuine interest in my life....” She sighed, “even if it wasn't for me, it could have been about your granddaughter for Christ's sake.”

She glanced over her shoulder to check Sora. “Like her name, which is Sora by the way. What she looks like....”

Sora sat kneeling on the floor, not too far from her mother. She took her marbles out and stared at them wondering what she could play on her own and without the marble board....

“I—”

“I thought I needed you, when I was a kid...but now I realise all I need are people who really love me. And I have that now, my husband loves me and my daughter loves me. —Shiro, he's given up so much for my happiness. I wonder why you couldn't do the same for mum? Were drugs and alcohol that much more important then us?”

Sora listened in concern as her mother raised her voice to the person down the phone and wondered who was upsetting her so much. She wanted to get up from were she sat, but remembered her mothers clear instructions and stayed obediently where she was and continued on with the game she had established. She held a marble in each hand and let them roll, imagining they had minds of they're own and were racing one another. Just until she thought they would roll too far from her she would quickly reach out and grab them. Being the inquisitive child she was, each time she would let them go that bit further, challenging herself on how fast she really was.

“No......they weren't. It just took me too long to realise.”

“Dad I love you, but you can't be in my life right now, not in the state you're in. You need to sort yourself out, I have to think about my family first now.”

“Ah!” Sora watched as one of the two marbles just slipped past her outstretched fingers. She watched as it rolled away and started to get up to follow it, but hesitated as she turned to face the profile of her mother. She debated as to whether or not she should say something to her, but decided on the latter, noting the worn expression on her face and exasperated note of her voice. She glanced in the direction of the rolling marble, it wasn't that far away, she would be able to get it and come back in no time.

“Alicia....I loved your brother and mother very much. I still love them and you. I’m sorry...........for everything”

She paused as his words sunk in. “I believe you dad I really do. So for both our sakes get some help. Until then I stick by what I said, you just can't be part of me or my family's life right now.”

“Baby—”

“Bye dad, please don't call me again until you can be a real father and grandfather.” She hung up the phone, unsure of what emotions she was really feeling at that moment. Was she doing the right thing? She sighed, only time would really tell. She just hoped that things would all work out in the end. She turned with a smile fixed on her face towards where Sora should have been sitting.

“Sora? Sora?!” Alicia turned around in confusion frantically searching for her daughter. Only to see her focused on the rolling object in front of her, casually following it out on to the road.

“Sora no! Watch out!—” Alicia's eyes widened in horror at what was about to happen if she didn't do something, the car was turning the corner too fast and the driver seemed preoccupied with his phone conversation when he should have had his eyes on the road.

Alicia ran out throwing her phone and bag to one side, knowing that she had seconds to save their precious daughter, she made her choice and pushed her daughter out of the way.

***

[1 day later]

“....Mio?....”

“I'm here Sora.”

“So are we.” Teru and Nao reached, from where they sat next to her bed, to hold her hand. They both gave her a quick squeeze to reassure her.

Sora smiled at them, “You don't know how nice it is to hear your voices, I feel like it's been a really long time. What's going on though guys? Why do I feel so drowsy......”

They looked at each other quickly before Teru spoke, “You were in an accident Sora do you remember?”

“Yeah, I think so...”

Nao spoke in a gentle tone, “You've been in a coma Sora.”

Sora felt he eyelids begin to close again. “....Coma?.....Where's my dad?”

“He went to speak with the doctor, but he'll be back soon.” Mio said.

Her words began to slur slightly with fatigue. “.....Okay....tell him I saw mum..........I saw everything.”

Mio tried to hide the confusion from her face, “I will, why don't you go back to sleep for now, the doctor said that you'll keep going in and out of sleep, so don't force yourself. Just rest.”

“....'kay. I think I will....” she drifted back into a state of sleep.

***

“I'm sorry, shit shit, I— I just didn't see you. I was— God I’m sorry I really am...” Sora turned her head dazed and confused to face the figure of the young man who was slowly backing away from her. “I—”

“Mum?” Sora felt the throbbing of her head from hitting the pavement, and the unfamiliar wetness of the blood seeping from the gash. “Mum?” She felt sick as shock forced her to look at the sight in front of her.

Her mother lay motionless, her arms and legs looked wrong and distorted. As if someone had abandoned a life size rag doll in the middle of the road.

She crawled over tentatively towards her, unable to understand why her mother had not replied to her. Once she was by her side she reached out and shook her gently. “...Mum........”

Alicia turned her head and tried her best to open her eyes.. “Yeah baby, I’m right here.”

Sora reached out,“Mum, you're bleeding.....” she knew everything was wrong, and couldn't stop her tears from falling. “I shouldn't have moved, I’m sorry mum, I—”

“Hey, don't cry sweetheart. This isn't your fault come here.” Alicia shifted as much as she could without screaming out in pain, as Sora lay down and wrapped her arms around her chest. “listen to me things will be okay. Just close your eyes and focus on my voice.....”

***

[2 days later]

“Sora can you hear me?”

“Mmm....” She murmured slightly.

“I'm doctor Masami Endo, but you can call me Masami. I’m just here to examine you. Your father is right here too.”

She opened her eyes slowly, “okay.”

“Can you you squeeze my hand for me. Yep like that good. Now just move your right hand for me......and now your left...good. Now just wiggle your toes for me. And again.....”

Sora closed her eyes trying her best to concentrate, trying not to think about why she still could not feel her legs. But the frustration began to show as tears began to fall. “I can't!!”

“It's okay just take a deep breath and try again for me.”

Her breathing became more erratic as once again she failed to do what was always such a simple task. “....I can't okay, I just can't!”

“It's okay sweetheart. I promise everything will be okay...” Shiro reached out to comfort her, unsure or what else he could really do.

“Nothing is okay! Nothing!” She felt her chest contract in pain, as breathing became harder. “I don't want him to see me like this!”

“You need to calm down Sora.” Dr. Endo did his best to restrain her, “listen to me what you are experiencing now is a panic attack. You need to take deep breaths and just focus on me and nothing else.” The effect wasn’t immediate but slowly she began to feel the pressure on her chest release. “You're right, things right now are not okay. But they could have been worse. You made it through a serious operation, you can make it through this. But it will take time.” He released his grip on her.

He could see the pupils of her eyes begin to lose focus again. “Let your body rest, don't force yourself.”

She could feel the fatigue set in again as frustrated tears wet her cheeks. “Dad.....I don't want to leave her there alone.......”

Shiro watched as she fell into a reluctant sleep. “Its been three days already, how long until she can stay awake normally?”

“It depends, it's not like in the moves, coma patients don't just wake up and that’s it. They go through periods of slipping in and out of consciousness. She stayed awake for longer this time, it's a good sign that she is recovering.”

“And her legs?”

“We ran tests and some abnormalities have come up, but we need to run more tests before I can confirm anything. But it looks like we will need to operate. However, I think it might be underlying physiological problems too. I went through her medical records, she experienced a trauma at a very young age, I don't think it was every really dealt with at an emotional level. This accident has likely put her mind through even more stress. I’ve already contacted the hospitals counselling department, I recommend that she go through some treatment with them as well as normal physiotherapy.”

Shiro rubbed the temples of his head “Thank you.”

Growing up

*

Sora tried her best not to cry “Please don't close your eyes. Mum....”

Alicia heard the distress in her daughters voice and forced her eyes open again, “it's okay Sora, look at me sweetheart, I promise you I’ll be okay.” Sora stared deeply into her mothers eyes, and saw the calm that comforted her. “Listen why don't we both close our eyes, and when you open them again your dad will be there to take care of you..”

She closed her eyes. “....Dad will?”

“Yep, he'll look after you......”

“...what if he doesn't like me?”

Alicia laughed, ignoring the taste of blood and agonising chest pains. “...Your dad adores you.”

“Then why isn’t he ever around?”

“He would be if he could baby, but you know I send him pictures of you almost everyday. Remember, he loves us very much, that's why he's away right now. So that you, me and him can be happy in the long run. So that we can all be a family. Then you can meet your grandma and grandpa, and aunts and uncles. You even have a cousin not too much older then you.....”

“I don't need to meet them though, I just need you!”

“Aww baby, we all need family. I don't ever want you to feel as lonely as I felt growing up.” She could feel herself slipping away, pain being replaced by an expansive feeling of numbness. “I wish you could have met your Nana and Uncle Jason they would have loved you too....I'll tell them all about you...”

“....Mum?......” Sora kept her eyes squeezed shut “....mum...............mummy...........” She didn't dare open them, this time she would do exactly as her mum said, she would keep them closed and would not open them until her dad was there. Maybe once he came she would also open her eyes too....... “DAD!...........Dad!............... Daddy!..........”

She sat there curled up, her mother's blood stained her dress, her eyes squeezed shut, still screaming out for her dad to come.

*

[3 days later]

There was a knock at the door, “Can I come in?”

Sora turned her head around“Yeah otou-san, of course you can.”

“You've been up since morning then?”

“Um, it feels a bit strange still, I don't feel sleepy though not like before. But it's just weird, you know, the whole waking up and losing months of your life, my own birthday, and almost Christmas too. I guess the world just keeps on revolving.....”

“My world didn't.”

“Otou-san....I know this sounds strange and maybe I just imagined it all but I swear I saw mum.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “She hadn't aged a day from when I last remembered her. She was so beautiful. Everything, the way she smiled, talked, walked.”

“Sweetheart...”

“I'm okay, I just can't really explain it. What it felt like being in a world where she was there too. It felt so natural....but at the same time I knew that that wasn't why I was there, not to stay........... to remember. I sound crazy right.”

“Not to me baby. I will always understand you.”

“Then maybe now I can tell you everything, everything that I remember. Maybe now we can both get proper closure, and move on....”

*

I looked at the young me that sat curled up and screaming out. She was a part of myself who I had forgotten, no, more like rejected. I had abandoned myself........

“I'm sorry.” I turned to face my mother as she spoke, “Sorry that I didn't have the strength to stay with you. To be there as you became such a beautiful young woman. To be there as you continue to develop.... I’m sorry that I couldn't hold your hand at that very moment and tell you that everything is going to be okay.......but you have to let go. You have to let go of me. Of your guilt, because until you do that you'll never really grow up. There will always be that little girl locked up inside of you in pain.”

I felt the warmth of her arms as she embraced me. I felt all her love in that one moment.

I had never really understood what it meant to grow up, to mature, to become an adult. I strived for it though, fought for my independence, for people to recognise my existence, to be in a spotlight so bright that it would blind me and put the rest of the world in a darkness that I could dismiss...But that wasn't growing up.

Growing up is acceptance. You have to accept yourself, the good and the bad. Because it's only when you can truly accept and love yourself that you stop questioning why others love you.

Actions have consequences.

But it was still an accident.

*

Sora sat upright in the bed and observed her dads reaction to everything she had just told him.

“It was an accident.” He said, not with a smile, or with anger, or even with regret. He said those four words with acceptance, with love.

“You could find him, couldn't you? The person who was behind the wheel, I remember everything now, his face, the sound of his voice, what the car looked like......even the license plate.”

“I could.” He didn't doubt it, money was not an issue.

“But that wouldn't really change things....”

“No......it wouldn't change the events that day...”

“Even though we could, I don't know if I want to...... Just like us, that person will have to live with what he did for the rest of his life. But he won't have closure.......maybe one day he'll seek us out?”

“.........Maybe he already has....” The words came out of Shiro's mouth quietly, he had been unsure as to whether or not he should tell her. But seeing her now he knew that it wasn't something he should keep from her. She wasn't that six year old girl any more, clinging on to him desperately, she was a young woman. And old enough to make her own decisions.

“What?!”

“When you phoned me later on that day you visited your mother's grave, something bothered me. You said there were roses and tulips already there. I had only sent tulips that week, I didn't really think anything about it at the time. But these last couple of months I was constantly going over everything in my head. Every conversation we had, every word you had spoken to me....”

“Dad...” She reached over and held his hand tightly. “Can you trace them, the flowers?”

“Your grandfather is already looking into matters. Sora............I need to know if this is the right thing you, for us. Forgiving a nameless person is very different from forgiving a person who you can identify. Someone you could potential see face to face.”

She looked him dead in the eyes. “I can, we both can together. Whether the results are good or bad, all three of us need to put this behind us.”

*

YungJi, YunHwa, JaeMan, MinSo and HyunShik sat in chairs arranged side by side on the raised platform. Each had a mic and glass of water in front of them. They had all prepared for the press conference.

Mr Choi stood centre stage, “Thank you all for coming today, as many of you might have guessed we have an announcement to make.” He let the tension build as they murmured between themselves. “...ICONIC will be taking a hiatus.” the press went wild, cameras flashed and hands flew up in the air as each reporter was keen to have their questions answered. “Calm down please. After the success they had with their last tour, and this last year, we as a company would like each member to have the opportunity to develop as an individual. Question may now be directed to either me or ICONIC. —Yes?”

“This is a question for you: What do each of the members intend to do during this hiatus?”

“I can't go into details at the moment, but I can say that in the future we are looking at solo album releases as well as possible roles in dramas. —Yes”

“A question for YungJi.”

“Ye...” He smiled openly.

“Is it a coincidence that this news has been announced just a week after the Japanese singer Sora was confirmed to be in recovery?”

“mwuh rah goo?! [what did you say?!]” He stood up suddenly letting his chair fall off the raised platform.

*

“Yung you have to understand—”

“I don't have to do anything! Why didn't you tell me Mio?! Why!”

“I'm sorry but she didn't want to see you. There have been complications.”

“Mwuh? [what]”

“Yung....Sora's paralysed. I mean it might be temporary or it might not... ”

His grip tightened on his phone as a shocked silence settled between them.

“..........And!?.....Mio I don't care whether she's paralysed or not, that doesn't matter to me. And I don't care what she said, you should have told me. I need to be there. She needs me to be there......”

She could here the determination in his voice, she knew he was right. No matter how much Sora had been avoiding talking about him, Mio had still caught her flicking through magazines or even watching the TV in hopes of hearing about him, she obviously still cared about him.

“...............Okay. I’ll get you on the next flight over.”

**

Sora turned her head at the knock at the door. “Come in.”

Mio poked her head round the side before stepping in “Hey.” She held up a box. “I brought doughnuts.”

Sora smiled. “I could definitely do with a doughnut right now.”

“Do you need help sitting up?”

“No, I’m fine.” She used her arms to push herself up on the bed, and moved each of her legs to one side so that Mio could sit on the bed next to her. “So what’s wrong. You only ever bring me doughnuts when something's bothering you.”

Mio sighed and laid back next to her with a cream filled doughnut in hand. “I guess I do, don’t I.....” Sora took a bite of a chocolate ring doughnut and waited knowing that she would start talking when she was ready.

“..........YungJi's on his way.”

“What! Mio I said—”

“I know what you said” She snapped back. “I know....but you're just being stubborn.” She took a bite of her cream doughnut. “He deserves to see you Sora. I know he wasn't here in person, but everyday he phoned or texted or emailed me to check on you. He sent flowers, he.......”

“I know he did. I know he loves me. I know, but I don't know what I'd do if that changes. If he took one look at me like this.” She looked down at herself in frustration. “I can't even go to the toilet without help.......”

“Sora—”

“I've had to deal with a lot....” She thought about her acceptance of the past. “.....And I still have to deal with some things.” she felt nervous at the thought of coming face to face with her mum's killer. “I don't think I could deal with losing him. I just need time, I know I can get better........”

“You're underestimating him.” Mio sat up and reached over for her bag. “You need to watch something, to understand his feelings. And if you still don't want to see him then I promise I’ll make sure he doesn't even step a foot in this hospital.” She took out her laptop and clicked on a video she had loaded on her web browser. “Watch it. I’ll give you some time to yourself.”

She got up, doughnut still in hand, and left before Sora even had a chance to argue back.

Sora sat staring at the laptop for a while, trying to work out what was so important that Mio would bet everything on it. Eventually she reached over and picked it up and pressed play.

*

I maximised the youtube screen and pressed play.

The words 'My Love' written in black calligraphy faded on to the screen.

What?! I cringed as I saw a video of the 4 year old me. Wild messy locks of brown curly hair, a pair of purple denim dungarees over a long sleeved white top. I sat on the steps outside my old house in London. I had seen this video clip before, it was one that my mum had filmed and sent to my dad.

“Sora, hey!” I watched as the young me shifted her attention from whatever was distracting her and focused on the camera, a wide smile on her face.

“Yes?”

“Why don't you repeat what you said to mummy earlier.”

“...about what?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I could see the excitement on my face. “I'm going to be a singer! And a dancer!”

“Really?”

“Really, really. Because I wanna make people smile just as much as you make me smile when you dance! I’m gonna be just like you mum!”

The clip faded out and an into a clip of Yung sitting on those exact steps. He looked amazing, his hair was semi tied back, his eyes catching the afternoon sun, that made his skin take on a rich bronze tone. He stared straight down in to the camera, as if he was looking directly at me. The background music faded in as he begun to speak.

“People keep asking questions about what happened while I was in London. Well I only have one thing to say to those people. It was simple, I fell in love.”

“Sailor Moon!!!!!” My eyes widened in shock as I watched the clip that it transitioned into, no one was meant to see this. It was after a long day of dance rehearsals when everyone was feeling exhausted and a bit down. Me and Teru had thought it would be funny if we re-enacted the poses from one of our favourite animes Sailor Moon. It was so cringe worthy because we were so into it.

The sound of his voice overlaid the montage of photos that followed, it was a ballad. I listened intently to the emotion, not just the meaning of the lyrics. Some parts were in Korean whilst other bits were in English. My heart ached as I heard the deep embedded love that he was singing about, the way he perceived me.

From that very first time he saw me in the restaurant..........how my long bangs had framed my face so perfectly, drawing him into my deep brown eyes.

To the time when we had gone out phone shopping, and he had found himself watching me without realising it himself. Watching the way I frowned just slightly, at the prices. Or twitched my nose when I was in deep thought. To the way my fingers absently moved a strand of hair from my face.

He sang about how he didn't know he could love this hard. That he could find someone who wasn't perfect, but was perfect for him.

A girl that was gorgeous not just in body, but in mind too. Who's laugh made him want to laugh, who's smile made him not just smile, but want to be the reason why she smiled.

I was the girl who made him understand what love was, what it meant.........

I focussed as another video clip faded in.

“yah!” I watched as a sour pouty expression formed on my face, after a day of filming, the last thing I had wanted was to be filmed by Yung. “Yung! Stop filming meeeee~” You could hear him chuckle at my annoyed expression. The camera position changed as he bent down and kissed me on the forehead.

I remember the pleasant shock of that kiss, and the lingering warmth it left behind.

“You're so cute, you know, even when you're trying to be angry” He teased.

I remember trying not to smile at that comment, but now, watching it from his point of view, I could see that I had failed miserably at that. It was so clear that I was no longer angry.

Every expression

Every time you look at me

Smile at me

Think of me

Those are the moments that will stay with me

Because you're the only girl who I could love like this.

The only girl that understands all parts of me

All I can give you back is my love

He smiled that small smile of his.

But it's you, so I know my love is enough.

**

Sora patted down her hair and sat up at the timid knock at the door. Mio had already told her he was coming, and she had been waiting very patiently ever since watching the video. “Come in.” Her voice sounded slightly raspy from nerves.

But that all changed the minute he walked through the door. He was angry, she could tell from the look in his eyes. But there was so much more beyond that anger. The relief, of finally seeing her awake, the love, but also the sadness, as his eyes flicked down momentarily at the lower half of her body covered by her blanket. The silence that settled between them was comfortable, as if they both needed that time to just look at each other. To take in every aspect of the other, every change.

Without saying a word Sora moved herself to one side of the bed and gave him a soft smile. He walked over and lay next to her sighing as she snuggled up next to him. “I'm still pissed at you....”

“I know.” She smiled as he kissed her softly on the forehead. “Yung?”

“Yeah?”

She looked up at him. “I love you.” He broke out in a massive smile with a 'well duh' expression on his face.

“Love you too. Always have, always will.” She wrapped her arms around him tightly, taking in his scent and savouring his warmth. “Sora?”

She rubbed her head against his chest lovingly, snuggling up even closer to him, making sure that nothing could get in-between them. “Yes?”

“I know it's a couple of months late but Happy Birthday.” He kissed her lightly. “And I know its a couple of days early but, Merry Christmas.” He bent down and kissed her more deeply this time, knowing that a part of him had feared that he would never be able to say that to her, that she was never going to wake up.

“Merry Christmas.” At that moment Sora felt content. Yes she had overcome some things, and yes she still had more to overcome. But at that exact moment, none of that mattered, because she knew that she would be fine. Because she wasn't alone, through all her parents sacrifices they had given her her greatest strength, family. The people who, despite their faults, would always standby her, and her family now included YungJi.

Epilogue

The next year of Sora's life was a testing one, that seemed to fly by anyway. Christmas had been spent with all her family and friends. Everyone had gathered at the family home in Tokyo, not just her immediate family but her extended family too, including Yung and the guys. At first it had been nerve racking, just the idea of facing everyone whilst in a wheelchair was daunting if anything. She was afraid of the looks people would give her, or the whispers people would exchange between one another. But none of that had occurred. In fact, to her surprise, everyone had just treated her with respect, well the majority did, the rest just treated her as per usual. Which pretty much meant that her aunt still passed the odd smart arsed remark, and every so often a member of the family would hint at the fact that maybe, looking at her current condition, now would be the time for her to think about giving up being an idol and taking on the family business instead. But the normality of those remarks made her feel secure more then anything. Besides, her dad and Yung had always been right there beside her making sure she was okay.

January was the month of the first of many operations and physiotherapy sessions that came in-between them. The results were slow, but at least there were results, well that's what Masami, her doctor, kept on reminding her. Each operation came with risks, and it hurt Sora to see the strain that put on her family. They all knew the potential complications, and the reality that there was always the chance of her just not waking up again. After the first operation everyone kind of got into a pre operation routine. Her grandma and grandpa would stop by the morning of the operation, they would only talk about day to day things never about the actual operation. But Sora preferred it like that, usually they'd stay for an hour two before leaving her to rest, when saying goodbye they would never fail to say 'I love you'. Teru and Nao would always come by together to keep her company throughout the afternoon. Those were the jokes time, just the three of them hanging out. Mio and her dad would always be there right before the operation, just talking to her and keeping her calm. They would always be the ones to hold her hand until she had to go into the operating theatre and was put asleep. Sora had her own secret tradition too, every night before an operation she would say a little prayer whilst holding the 1000th miniature diamond crane her dad had brought her, the purple one, for some reason she was always able to sleep well after that.

And Yung, he was there when he could be. They had had a serious discussion over Christmas, despite Yung being totally against it, Sora insisted that he continue with his planned activities. After all she didn't want to be the reason why his career became non-existent. It was tough being apart, but it was what she wanted. They called each other everyday without fail, and skyped when they could. Her dad even surprised her in March by paying for Yung to fly over for a weekend, with the excuse that she 'looked a bit down'. She knew that it was no coincidence that it just happened to have been two days after she'd had a bit of a melt down in her Friday session of physiotherapy.

May was a month full of positives though, Yung launched his solo album so he was busier then he'd ever been. YunHwa and MinSo were both filming drama's. Whilst HyunShik took up a temporary position as an MC for SBS's latest variety show, and JaeMan started doing modelling work. Teru had gone on tour with another group and Nao's blog had become so popular that her career as a style and fashion guru was reaching new heights. Sora found that she no longer had to use a wheelchair and was becoming more active now. Her mind craved running though, it had always been her way to cope when stressed, but her body just wasn't at that stage yet. But that was okay because she knew she would get there eventually, but whether she would ever return to dancing again she couldn't really say.

Therapy was probably what helped her the most, Sora didn't know why that surprised her, maybe it was just because she'd had so many negative pre-assumptions about it. In her mind she just thought it would be some non caring doctor who would just sit there with a clipboard asking standard questions and writing down notes. But it wasn't anything like that, it was kind of like taking to a friend and a stranger at the same time. Mahiko was nice and just easy to talk to, and after just a month of therapy Sora could feel the relief of just having her there to talk through painful memories.

Despite this, not even therapy could have prepared her enough for the emotions that had overwhelmed her when finally, in June, Sora and Shiro had sat opposite Alicia's killer. Anger, hatred, sadness, confusion, depression...these were just a scratch on the surface. His name was Matthew Wells, he was in his late thirties now and he was just your average guy, 9 to 5 office job, wife, kids.... It was difficult at first, she probably would have walked right back out that door if her dad had not been there. But she stayed, and she listened. And as they both listened, she began to digest his words. Not accept, but it was a start. They weren't interested in pressing charges, all they wanted was closure. They learned that although he had not attended her funeral he did place flowers on her grave once every couple of months in her memory, he admitted he had been too much of a coward to face what he had done and had lived with regret since, the only thing that had kept him going was the fact that his girlfriend, the person who he had been on the phone with, was pregnant at the time and needed him.

It wasn't a justification but it was all he could say. And at the end of it, all Sora wanted to say was that he was forgiven, despite the anger and the loneliness and the hurt she had felt from the loss of her mother, she just didn't want to carry the weight any more. A part of her still felt that it was a bit selfish, but she wanted to be able to finally forgive and let go and just move on with her life. So that's what she did. Shiro too felt only closure walking out the room, he was ashamed to admitt that there was even a point, when Alicia had first passed, that he himself had suspected his own parents causing the accident. He had even go to the lengths of hiring his own personal private detective to trace their actions and whereabouts around that time. It was crazy, but he just had to be sure that it wasn't them.

And just like that a year had passed since she had woken up from her coma. A year of ups and downs, of set backs and progress. But by the end of it she was just happy to be able to run again, mp3 player plugged in, Beyonce playlist on replay, and headphones blearing. It didn't matter that her movement was not as it was before, or that the effort she had to put in was so much more. Neither of those things mattered to her because, it was just good to feel so weightless and free.

But the best moment came on Christmas eve as Sora walked hand in hand with Yung on the way to meet-up with everyone else, under the twinkling street lights of Tokyo. The moment when Yung bent down on one leg in front of her, quickly playing with the back of his cap, before taking out a small purple amethysts and diamond ring and proposed to her.

The moment she said yes.

The End