Xaen Choi (Shai'la Yvonne) 

Gael Choi/Faie (Song Jae Rim) 

Tyvni Orayta 

Avery Orayta (Shuntaro Yanagi) 

  “Tell us why you’re here.” Those were the first words I’d heard after I entered the life I called hell. I shook, tears fell from my eyes and this time, they weren’t full of joy. It was a while before I could fully speak. I had remained silent for the first few years, releasing my language through touch and expression. The other women folk called me strange, diseased. That rhetoric fueled the vivid memories that haunted my dreams at night. 

    “Why did you of all women get sent here? You don’t look like you could hurt a fly.” I suppose during my time there, one of the jail yard bullies decided to get big and step up to me. She looked mean, angry and like she had lived a hard violent life. I couldn’t judge her though… I didn’t know her story. 

    “All you need to know is that I’m here the same as you.” She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. 

    “Are you getting fresh with me?” 

    “I don’t have time to waste my speech on you.” I turned to leave and found myself being shoved. So, she wanted to pick a fight. Of course I was still the underdog and she wanted to test what I was made of. 

    “You want to know why I’m here?” I turned to face her, my eyes hard as steel.     “Txeis put me here after they murdered my husband. They sent my son to ash, evaporated into a black hole. And as if that wasn’t enough punishment, they sent me here on a life sentence. So… did I kill someone? No. Did I steal? No. Am I big and bad as you are? I doubt it.” Whatever I had said had connected with her because she had dropped the fist I assume meant for my face. 

    “I-I had a girl. Txeis took her away from me.” Ah, so we were both mothers. So then, how could a mother hit another? We both understood the evil that was Txeis. She looked into my eyes. 

    “You’re all right. I won’t say anything to get your hopes up but know that you’re cool with me.” And then she left. I suppose all this time, you are wondering why I came here. What is my story. Why my family was taken from me. What is Txeis. Well, now that I have transferred my language to paper, I will tell you. But first let me say… I am a woman brought to the edge with rage. I am teetering on the cliff and there isn’t much time left in it for me. 

*** 

    I remember my old life. I was young, foolish and in love. But that isn’t how it started. Of course now I’m speaking about my husband. At first, I hated him. And he hated me. 

“Xaen, meet your fiancé.” A five-year-old Xaen scrunched up her nose and pursed her lips snottily. Into her room came a little boy, his eyes to the ground. She was annoyed that he wouldn’t look at her. What was his problem? 

“This is Gael. Say hello Xaen.” 

“No Mama, I don’t like him. He’s weird.” Her mother tsked. 

“How do you know this when you haven’t even said two words to him?” Finally he lifted his shy gaze and his dark brown eyes shocked her. Even as a little kid, his gaze was intense and she couldn’t look away. 

“I think you’re pretty.” 

*** 

As we aged and grew to pre teenagers, our once innocence grew to distain and disregard for each other. He hated that he was promised to a girl without his consent and I hated him for the same reason. We were spoken for each other and we didn’t even know what that meant yet. But one day, he changed. He grew taller, his arms grew bulkier and his voice deepened. And I did not understand the change was happening to me as well. 

*** 

    “Time’s up Xaen. Enough journal writing for today. Go on back to your cell.” Putting down the pen and keeping the recounted memory in my head, I got up and allowed the guard to put the cuff on my hands, the bright blaze of the light burned my hands but then I guess it was supposed to secure that I couldn’t break away. 

    “You’re a sweet heart. I don’t know why the head jailer hasn’t let you receive credit for your goodwill.” If you knew what lingered in my mind, it would not be goodwill. I nodded silently as she led me back to my cell. But that was just the way things were to be. Until I got out of here. Oh yes, I was planning to escape and when I did, I’d go for the man who ordered it all. Why he couldn’t have left me and mine alone I don’t know. But it was too late for forgiveness and peace. I wouldn’t stop until I had bloodshed and murder. I had nothing else to live for. 

***

    “She thinks you are dead. How can you even think of blowing your cover?” A man, his eyes dark and dangerous found the younger’s. 

    “I want my fucking wife. Nothing will stop me. Even death.” His tone was angry, hard, cold and as emotionless as a cyborg. But then again, he felt as such. All feeling might as well been replaced with dark hatred and the taste for revenge. 

    “Listen… it’s been years. You should move on and find another wife. She has a life sentence. She will never be released.” That statement landed the younger against the wall with a large strong hand around his throat cutting off his air supply. 

    “I don’t think you understand.” 

    “Faie let him go.” His brother and his friend, Avery Orayta entered the room, a stern look on his face. He let the kid go. 

    “Aver-” 

    “Save it. I don’t want to hear it. Let’s focus on how we will intercede Txeis’ headquarters and get our wives and sisters from captivity.” Ah, yes. That damned company had taken Avery’s wife Tyvni. He had become a shell of a man, empty without his wife’s love, touch and presence. Same as him.  He tightened his jaw and curtly nodded. Funny that the world was so advanced but was falling apart. Hell, it was damned. This was the only hell he knew and he might as well burn in the flames to get what he wanted most back. He had nothing else to live for. Everything was taken from him. If he was going to go out, why not bring a few of those corrupt sons of bitches with him? Couldn’t hurt. 

    “Ok. Men, gather round.” The dim light grew darker as bodies gathered around the small table. This was it. The night the oppressed took their rightful stand. Tonight was it. 

 The day was cold. It was rainy outside but it wasn’t as cold as the tears that streamed down my face. The pain was too much. And I nearly begged my guard to let me write early ahead of schedule. I needed to get this out. My hand shook as I took up the pen, its bright light providing a haven for me. At least here, I could fully use my language. Because as we know, speech is dangerous. How you use it and when is the important thing. 

*** 

    I dreamt about you again. It pains my heart and it is almost enough torture that I beg the guard to kill me and relieve me of the suffering.  All I look at is these four disgusting walls everyday and have to be in close quarters with smelly bitter women. I…I miss you. My darling. My love. You always will be. I know, when I look back on it, it seems funny how we turned out to this point. Where we fell so deeply in love with each other that it seemed we were each other’s drug. I guess I had always loved you. Even when I said I didn’t. I lied. 

    My fingers stopped as the tears fell and blurred the ink. I couldn’t. I was sick of writing letters that never would be sent or seen. I was so tired. My hand resumed of its own accord, almost as if possessed. 

    Gael…. I must be honest with you. When your name comes to my mind… is it foolish that immediately my body reacts? My heart hurts after that one tender moment of hope? My palms start to sweat and my smile, the one you told me you loved comes out to play and my knees get weak. 

    Tears have fallen from my eyes and I’m sitting here crying. My soul… my soul is crying out for yours. More than my friend, my lover and my husband, you

were my soul mate. Sent to me by God himself. Don’t you know how selfish it is for you to have left me? Why did you leave me here to face this world alone? Why? I suppose if you had had a choice, you would have gladly given up your life for mine. The selfish one is Txeis. Why couldn’t they have just let us keep our child and live in peace? We paid our taxes; we contributed to the community and to the world with our research. Why couldn’t we be left alone to live the simple life that we desired? 

    I am a woman here without a man’s touch. And I crave yours most intensely than I ever have. Even if it is simple as the brush of your thumb against the back of my hand or the gentle press of your lips against my forehead…I am stupid to desire a dead man but I do Gael. I want you so badly it hurts me. My mind is tortured with the memories of our lovemaking, whether heated and rough or sweet and lazy. 

    I had to stop and bite back the moan that nearly slipped out. I-I couldn’t. I was desperate… Slipping my hand into the dirty pants, I brushed past the coarse wild curls of triangle and gently found my bud, already swollen. I gasped loudly, the tears now starting to fuse with the sudden snot that left my nose. I hurt… I wanted to feel good for once… 

*** 

    He came into the lab and I tried to erase the sudden dirty thoughts of him out of my head. He looked up to no good and that smirk… the one that meant trouble was on his full lips. 

    “Gael, what do you want? I’m busy.” I tried to keep my face emotionless. 

    “I thought about you all day in my department.” Oh Lord… when his voice dropped that low… my thighs clenched together. 

    “Can’t this wait?” 

    “It’s almost the end of the day. And I think you could use a break.” My mouth grew dry. My husband had such natural sensuality and swagger. 

    “I can not take a break. I have to get this research in.” He walked further into the field and came behind me. 

    “Stop for one minute. You’ll overwork yourself baby.” He said softly against my cheek. His breath was warm. His scent drove me crazy. He was so close and I craved the feel of him. 

    “Gael,” He slid his hands around my waist and pulled me back against him and I felt his arousal press into my bottom. 

    “I want you to take a break. Hm?” His smirk was back and he pressed into me a little more. I bit my lip and gripped the counter. He was not going to make this easy. Perhaps he was right. I had been working since the early dawn. 

    “O-Okay Gael. All right. I’ll take a break.” I reached up and pressed a small button on my watch. It brought forth my time sheet. A visor formed over my eyes and I pressed a couple words indicating break. Waving with my hand, it disappeared. I sighed and turned around. He smiled handsomely at me and I reached out to touch his cheek. He sighed into my palm. 

    “I don’t like that we are so far apart in this place.” I smiled. 

    “It is a bit much.” He backed me against the table and slid his hand down my leg before lifting it and wrapping it around his hips. 

    “Gael….. wait… There are people right in the next field. What about the cameras?” He pressed his lips against my jaw. 

    “Let the film roll. Maybe those techies could learn a thing or too. Besides… isn’t it more exciting to know you’re being watched?” I felt heat come to my cheeks. My husband was not afraid of anything or anyone. Who was worth fear? Even still, I gripped his wrists. 

    “Gael,” He smirked and pulled away from me. He pulled the air and created  separate private field where all there was were the two of us, silence enveloped. Now, I could be as intimate as I wanted and not worry about our privacy. I could be free.     I pulled him closer and softly kissed him. He sighed and pressed closer against me. He turned to kiss my cheek, further down to my shoulder. He soon slid down my body, having lifted my other leg and his head disappeared under my dress. Soon I whimpered and moaned softly, my fingers tangled in his dark hair.  

*** 

    I grunted as I released and I laid my head on the small desk, my breath heavy. It wasn’t as intense as I wanted it but it was enough not to drive me insane. When times grew to be like this, I had no choice but to touch myself. It was the only pleasure I received and there was power in being able to dictate and control your own body. Panting, the heat fell away and left me cold. The tears welled back up and I bit my lip. 

That was enough writing for today. Enough. Everything. 

“Faie,” He groaned in his sleep, beads of sweat clung to his forehead and slid down his bare chest. 

    “Faie! Wake up.” He jolted awake. His disoriented eyes found Avery’s. 

    “What…” 

    “You were talking in your sleep again.” He mumbled ‘sorry’ before falling back asleep. Today, it was his baby’s birthday. She was to turn 33 if he kept his years right. Yes… 33. He was not a young man anymore. He was getting old. Sighing in his sleep, he drifted back into time and he wished he could freeze it and savor it forever. 

*** 

    Her dreads, long and thin brushed his neck as she bent to kiss him. Her lips tasted like her favorite berry…strawberry. He smiled into the kiss and she playfully nipped at his lower lip. 

    “I love you.” It was the first time she had told him that and he couldn’t even begin to explain how his heart soared in the sky. He slid his fingers through her thick hair and brought her face closer. 

    “You mean that? Xaen?” 

    “Of course I do. I love you with all my heart.” He could feel it. The fragile yet powerful passion in the air. They were young… at the cusp of adulthood and yet… he wanted to bring them both to that point. As his father explained it: the moment when he would feel like a man and she a woman… that bonding between the body that nothing else could replace. 

    “I can’t fully express what my heart feels Xaen. I can’t not for you. But… I… I want to show you.” Her beautiful brown eyes found his and he blushed. But he would not back down. He wanted this with her. Finally. 

    “I want to make love to you Xaen.” She grew silent and he stared intensely at her, analyzing her expressions and body language. It was a while until she leaned back down and pressed her lips to his. 

    “Okay. I’m ready.” 

*** 

    The women at the encampment tried to throw themselves at him and he bluntly turned the down. He wasn’t interested in any other woman, no matter how aroused he became. She was the only woman for him and that would never change. When she found out about him, he would do whatever he could to make things go back to normal. But, for now he had to hide like some coward in the shadows. If he could, he’d break her out of jail himself. He was skilled enough to do so. But… 

    “Faie, it’s morning light. Let’s get up and wake the others. We can’t stay here much longer. Time to find another safe point.” He opened his eyes and stared in the darkness. You are all I have left connecting me to this world. If I can’t get you back, I’ll die trying. And that was all he could do. Getting up, he ran a hand through his messy hair and pulled on a shirt to get to it. 

***

    “When are you going to get her? Are you even going to try?” Faie looked up from his tent into the eyes of a young man. He put down a blazer and pushed his hair back. 

“You come to taunt me on why I cannot even save my own wife Kid?” The young man did not smile. He just looked at him. 

“When you ask? I’d leave this shit hole and go to her right now if I could.” 

“Why don’t you?” The kid was intense and very serious. Something Faie liked. 

“You know what? I will. Not now. But I will.” He watched the young man walk away and cracked a small smile. 

*** 

The wind  from the open window filled his lungs and he took a deep breath of it. A soft hand gently caressed his face. 

“Gael…” Her voice was sweet and soft, soothing and gentle. Yet he did not stir. He purposely did this… all to savor her touch. 

“Gael, wake up.” Still, he did not stir. He felt her straddle him, her dreads teasing his chest. 

“If you do not awaken, I will force you.” Her lips kissed his gently and he could no longer resist. He kissed her back deeply and groaned softly. 

“Xaen?” 

“You weren’t sleeping. You were faking it.” He opened one eye and smirked. 

“That’s rude to accuse me.” She snorted and tried to get off of him but his hands grabbed her hips. 

“Don’t leave. I like you on top of me.” She snorted louder and rolled her eyes, but weren’t her eyes smiling. 

“I have something to tell you.” He sat up and kissed her shoulder, pulling the fabric down to kiss her collarbone and the swell of her breast. 

“What’s up?” She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. 

“Txeis told me I couldn’t… I couldn’t reproduce unless they made it so. Do you remember?” 

“Sons of bitches. I’m still pissed about that Xaen. How dare they toy with your reproductive system.” His voice was angry and his face grew hot with anger. He wanted to kill those bastards. He would never forget coming home and seeing Xaen on the floor sitting in a pool of her own blood crying.

“I’m pregnant.” His body grew still and the shock of what she said caused his heart to beat faster. But… a huge smile slid across his face. She had lifted her head and was looking at him, carefully recording his reaction. 

“How…how is that possible?” She shrugged but he caught the smirk. 

“Let’s just say that my body fought their medications and tampering.” She slid her hand down his face and her smooth hand against his morning beard felt better than words. 

“I felt inadequate. How could I call myself Xaen Choi when I couldn’t even bear children for my husband?” 

“Shh… baby…. You’re not inadequate.  Never were.” He pressed his face against her breast, now bare. 

“Talk to me. A-are you happy Gael?” He hugged her tightly to him and tears came to his eyes. 

“More than you know sweetheart. I just… I want to keep this one.” His eyes met hers and she bit her lip. 

“I want to finally be able to have a child of ours live. The company’s policy has given us so much heartbreak and I…I’m glad that we were able to try again and this one pull through.” She nodded, tracing his bottom lip with her thumb. 

“We’re not giving this baby up Gael. Not…Not again. I know how much you want a child. And I will try to give you as many as you want.” 

“No Xaen… try because you want it just as much as me.” The Clok beeped loudly and he groaned against her lips. 

“Shit. I’m going to be late…” 

“I don’t want you to get up.” He took in his beautiful wife, lips parted, eyes starting to grow dusky with desire. Her chest met his and their breath was one. She looked ravishing. Her soft legs trapped him and he wished he could indulge in them. 

“Xaen, baby I have to go.”  She pouted, sliding fingers down his waist to hold him close. 

“Now that my body has resisted their medication… I was wanting another child.” She said in a teasing tone. Grinning, he pressed a kiss to her lips and then… down… down until they met her womb. He kissed there the longest. The tiny life yet to begin would know his love. 

“There will be plenty more to come.” He looked up at her and she smiled prettily. 

“Yes. There shall.” 

“Come shower with me.” She allowed him to pull her off of their bed and into the bathroom.

*** 

Memories swam around his head, bringing smiles to him. He couldn’t describe his happiness when she told him she was pregnant. She had suffered enough with miscarriage after miscarriage under forced medication. Txeis had ruined his wife but finally she was feeling normal again. He hated seeing her so broken and he had hoped that child would bring them the happiness they deserved. 

“Faie, head up. We’re moving the group east.” He shook his hair to stimulate his focus. 

“Shouldn’t we take the group further west?” 

“Their dogs patrol primarily in the West. You know that Faie.” 

“Yeah all right brother. I trust your leadership. East it is.” 

“Let’s go. Women and Children, go with Kiyard. Men, stay with me and Faie. We will meet at the checkpoint. Is that clear?” 

“Yeah.” The groups separated and began to move. The sun blazed down on them and he grunted, wiping the sweat off his forehead. 

“Fuck it’s hot.” 

“I know.” He grew hard with reserve. He would force his body to push on until they reached their destination. 

*** 

The night was cool and the air provided a comfort to him. Xaen.. what are you doing tonight? Are you looking at the stars like I am? 

“Thinking about Xaen?” He turned to find Avery laying beside him. 

“Yeah. I want her back with every inch of my soul.” 

“I bet you do.” He scoffed and punched him. 

“Be serious you asshole.” Avery’s smile soon slid off his face and that haunted look covered his face. 

“I’m more than serious Faie. I am so crazy I hear Tyvni speaking to me. I feel her and see her in the heat when we move at day. I hear her voice in my head. She’s everywhere. I feel like I am going insane.”  He couldn’t do anything but relate and understand where Av was coming from. He was driving himself insane. Xaen was everywhere. He dreamt about her every night and he saw her in everyone in each city they passed through. 

“I do too brother. I do too. Xaen… she… she is my reason for living. My air to breathe and the only one who can shatter and ruin me.” 

“Do you know that when they took Ty, she… was… pregnant? They took both my wife and child from me. Our first… we had been trying for years and every time she took the bait… they increased her medications for their experiments. They robbed me of my baby girl. It was too soon to tell but I just knew it would be a girl. Ty always wanted a girl and so did I.” His voice grew hard and bitter. Ah, so he knew more of his pain than he realized. 

“This is why we are doing this. Txeis destroyed this world with their greed. They split up families and homes; marriages and relationships. And for what? Research? Av… you are going to get Tyvni back and there will be another baby girl to come to you.” 

“I hope so. I hope Ty is okay. Last I heard from her was a year ago. I don’t think she’s been getting my letters.” 

“She is Av. You have to believe that she is. She knows just what you are doing and where you are going. She knows you are going to get her.” 

“Do you think the same about Xaen? Do you think she knows?” He turned his gaze back on the stars, his eyes aglow. 

“Xaen knows what kind of man I am. While she believes that I am dead… I am not. I will go to her. And I will rebuild my life and my family.” 

“Aren’t you miserable?” I stared outside of the window, my heart tied into knots. Her voice drifted out of my ear. The therapist had the nerve to ask me. Am. I. Miserable. I wanted to scream at her but my words would be wasted. As well as my emotion and energy. 

“What do you think?” I instead asked in a droll tone. The woman was quiet and wrote down everything I said. I kept quiet myself and waited until the session was up. I made my way back to my cell. 

The morning light streamed into my cell, giving the illusion of false hope and positivity and I despised the sun. Ever since my husband and baby were taken from me, my sun burned up into a black hole and withered away. I had gotten up early to work out. I had to keep my body fit and toned for when I broke out of this hell hole. A tap on my door stopped my mid push-up.

    “Time for your writing Xaen. Come on.” I wiped the sweat out of my eyes and off my face and neck and went to the door. The only solace that was granted. I think today I would further go into detail about how my life was before this point. I do not think I have told enough about my story. 

    I guess I should continue. The hatred between us had waned a bit but not enough to be completely gone. The changes within us were starting to be noticed. He started to go with his father to the Corporation and I was bid to stay home. At those times, even well into the future, societal and stereotypical female gender roles were practiced. I remember it like it was yesterday. Playing in the tall grasses around our abode. Not many citizens chose to live there. Not with the booming metropolises and ever changing technology. When did I change? When did everything I knew change? When did my affection for Gael take off and never return? 

    His hair flowed with the breeze. It was growing longer. He stood, tall and lithe. The sun blazed down on him and his body shone finely with perspiration. He sighed and set the blazer down. The wood neatly stacked and assembled to the side. He didn’t catch her staring at him. The male anatomy intrigued her. She observed the way his chest rose and fell with each breath he took of the air. Her eyes scanned every defined muscle, how they almost seemed perfect in place. Her eyes met the back of his neck. Hair wetly glued to his skin. She could feel a warmth blossom in her stomach and the unfamiliar heat traveled lower. She looked down at her body. It settled right in her womb. How could this place find heat? She didn’t notice him turn. 

    “You never were very good at hiding Xaen.” She popped her head up and peeked at him behind the sparse weeds. 

    “How..” She shut her mouth. Perhaps, she did not settle on the best hiding spot. 

    “Come out.” She slowly stepped into the clearing where he could see her. The wind picked up and her dreads danced in the wind. 

    “What are you doing there?” 

    “Nothing.” He eyed her, his gaze never ceasing to wan in intensity. 

    “Xaen,” 

    “I was mistaken. I lost my way.” He watched her as she fixed an emotionless expression on her face and walked away from him. He smiled softly. 

It was there that I fell in love with him. I felt it in my chest. I was too stubborn to admit it however. I wanted to keep some sort of familiarity between us. At the time, I did not understand myself what was going on. I did not know then what I know now. As I reflect back on it now, it brings a smile to my face. So young. So very young. 

    “Son, let me have a word with you.” Gael looked up into his father’s eyes. Eyes so very much like his. 

    “Yes Father.” He had been raised in a rigid way. But… he wanted to break out. The freedom inside him wanted to burst. He wanted his own identity. 

    “Let me talk to you about Xaen.” At the mention of her name, heat fell on his cheeks and he looked away. 

    “You are of age now where you can marry her.” He swallowed. 

    “Father, I do not understand. Why were we betrothed at all?” 

    “That was the way of things. The ancient way.” It was time to make a new way. A new path. 

    “It is now into the future Father. Perhaps we should invent and create our own way of life.” His father looked at him incredulously. 

    “Gael! What is this you are speaking?” He looked away with a wry smile. 

    “I was just suggesting an idea Father.” His father grumbled before he continued. 

    “I want to talk to you about intercourse.” The thought of having intercourse with Xaen made his whole entire face grow red. 

    “F-father-”

    “It is time you know. Soon, you will marry Xaen. You will need to know what to do. And where.” He looked down. 

    “I assume you know what it is.” 

    “Yes, I have been properly educated on the matter.” 

    “Ah. Let me tell you from experience then.” This subject was making him slightly uncomfortable. 

    “This night son, you will become a man. All that you have done and all that you were will no longer exist. You will be one with your wife. In the most literal sense. All that she is will become you and you her. Does this compute?” 

    “Yes.” 

    “This action will create offspring. This action will be enjoyable to you both.” He swallowed and nodded. 

    “Have intercourse with no other but Xaen. You are trusted with her physical body and her you. You do not belong to yourself any longer. And she does not belong to herself either. Do you compute?” Again, he nodded. He understood. 

    “This action is something that God has bestowed upon marriage to share. Perform it wisely.” 

    “Yes Father.” 

    “You are aware of the female anatomy correct?” The blush on his face returned. 

    “Yes.” His father then proceeded to tell him of the secrets of the woman. He listened closely. 

    “Are you all right Son?” 

    “Yes Father.” 

    “Now you are ready. I have prepared you well.”  He got up and pat his back. 

Likewise, my mother sat me down to talk to me about my duties as well. When I think back on it, I never quite fulfilled them. Our marriage was less than traditional. Perhaps because we were of the new generation. The wise stuck to their ways. It was always the young who desired to break free. 

    “Xaen,” She looked into the kitchen where her mother was preparing food. 

    “Yes mother?” 

    “Come here.” She came into the kitchen and watched as her mother cut up some carrot. 

    “What do you think about Gael?” The question took her back by surprise and she felt her face heat. She tried to keep composure.

    “What is there to know about him? He is the man you have told me I must marry.” 

    “You feel that emotionless towards him?” 

    “How am I to feel?” Her mother continued to chop carrots and briefly looked at her. 

    “He is growing. He is starting to look like a young man. And you are not a little girl anymore.” She had already started to notice. 

    “Mother,” 

    “Xaen,” She had stopped cutting the carrots and turned to look at her. 

    “You are a young woman now. And this is the time you start seeings things about young men. Noticing things. Now is the time you start to think and feel things.” She swallowed. 

    “Mother…” 

    “You will be married to him. That young man. You do not have to tell me. I know you feel something. I was once young.” She smiled softly as her mother nudged her. 

    “He is… He has grown to be very handsome.” 

    “And?” 

    “Tall.” 

    “And?” 

    “And what?” 

    “Do you desire him?” Her cheeks grew warm. 

    “Desire…him?” Her mother smiled softly and took her hand. 

    “You are young still. You may not know. The warmth… has it drifted to your womb?” She looked up at her mother in shock. Was… that feeling she felt back then.. desire? 

    “Ah, you have.” 

    “This feeling… is desire? What is it?” 

    “Let’s sit down.” She led her to the porch outside and a warm breeze welcomed them. Sitting on the Chair, she sighed. 

    “It is okay to desire him Xaen. Do not fight it. He will be your husband. It is only natural. Knowing this, we must make sure we keep you apart until then.” 

    “We will act on this feeling?” 

    “Ah, yes.” Her eyes grew wide as if she couldn’t perceive it. 

    “I do not understand.” 

    “When you wed, my child… you will consummate. You will become one flesh.” She listened intently. 

    “He will touch you. And you will let him. After the union is made. You might feel some discomfort but that is only because you have not had a man before Xaen.” 

    “Wait…. touch? Union?” 

    “Yes my child. You will become one. It is unity in the most literal sense.” 

    “Unity…” Silence then… 

    “Mother?” 

    “Yes?” 

    “Will it hurt?” She had heard from the other girls at her institution of education.

    “A little bit. But we are like clay. Moldable and pliable. We women can be the most beautiful and artistic.” 

    “What does that mean?” 

    “You shall mold and shape him.” 

    “Ah,” 

    “My dear, see the clouds?” She pointed outside the window.

    “Yes.” 

    “You will touch them, taste them and dwell on them. It is such an indecribable feeling; a connection of spirits, souls and bodies. One that is meant only to be shared with your husband. None other.” 

    “Gael shall give me this feeling? What will be his reward?” Her mother laughed. 

    “His reward shall be you. Your loyalty, love, respect, obedience and your spirit.”

    “Will he feel the same as I?” 

    “Yes my dear. He shall be connected in the deepest level to you and you to him.” She felt her cheeks grow hot but pressed her forehead against her mother’s shoulder. 

    “Mother, I am frightened. I am just a girl. What do I know of marriage? What do I know of men?” Her mother clucked her tongue and gently laid a hand on her hair. 

    “I know sweet girl. I was once your age. And I too was once frightened. I met your father and  married him. The night of our consummation, he had pulled me close and for a long while we were silent. He spoke over me and said this: As your husband, I shall protect you all the days of your life. I shall take away the fear that may overtake you in the night. I shall hold you as tenderly and gently as a rose and my heart shall remain yours until the day I leave this world. I entrust my body and soul to you and I have been blessed to have been entrusted with yours.”  She listened intently and wrapped an arm around her mother’s waist as she continued, 

    “ It was then that I knew everything would be all right Xaen. I’ve never regretted marrying your father nor have I looked back. I love him with all of my being. So you shall be with Gael. He is a good young man. He will honor you and cherish you. He will be the Man who shall bring you happiness.” 

    “M-Mother… how… how do you know?” 

    “I know him. I know you. I’ve watched him with you Xaen. You two are good for each other.” She sighed and closed her eyes. 

    “Have I a say in this? At all?” Her mother turned and smoothed some hair out of her face. 

    “A say? Do you not trust our judgements for your future mate?” 

    “But Mother… what if I wanted to marry someone else? Would I not be allowed to choose my own destiny?” She smiled softly. 

    “My child, how bright you are. You may do what you feel is right. Do not be a fool in your decisions. Your spirit knows before anything else. If you feel in your spirit that Gael is not the right one, then act accordingly.” She nodded and smiled up at her. Her mother’s wisdom was boundless and she was so grateful for it. 

    “I do not think I am afraid any more. I trust that you and Father have found a man who shall be all that he can for me and for our family. And… I shall see for myself.” 

    “Good girl. Now, let’s finish dinner before the men come home.” She smirked and sighed in contentment. 

Oh how good life was back then. So simple. Free. How I desired a life like that again.  Gael, our son and I… Indeed, I did find out that Gael was the right man for me. He is the only man for me. I remember the day we came clean of our feelings. We had been fighting each other left and right. And one day… one day we settled it once and for all. How that day lingers in my mind. It is one I shall never forget. 

    “Xaen, time’s up for today.” I sighed and placed my pen on the table. 

    “Say, you’ve kept to yourself here and haven’t bothered anyone. Would you like to meet with the Head Warden?” I looked up at the guard. 

    “To do what exactly?” The woman looked flabbergasted. 

    “Wouldn’t you like time off of your sentence?” 

    “Is that even possible? Time off of a life sentence?” 

    “Hey, anything is better than nothing.” I looked down at my hands and comtemplated my decision. The words of my mother resounded deep in my mind. Be wise. Go with what you feel in your spirit! 

    “I suppose.” 

    “Is that a yes?” 

    “Yes.” She handcuffed my hands and helped me stand up. 

    “I’ll see what I can do.” If I could get on their good side, they would not see my escape possible. They wouldn’t even think I would want to nor be able to. I yearned to smell the fresh air and feel the sun on my face. It would not be Gael but… It would be enough. For now. I could not and would not give up the fight. I would live. I would get of here. And I would get even. 

“Hatred is a powerful thing.” Eyes locked on the Elder who spoke. 

    “It consumes like a deadly lethal fire and it never quite goes out. Instead, it keeps burning and growing hotter and more intense until it destroys you.” Silence. Ears were intent on his very breath. 

    “As I grow older, I realize how foolish hatred is. It serves no purpose but destruction. It does not better the individual nor does it improve them. It will do us no good.” 

    “What if everything you loved was taken from you? Would it be so easy to say that then?” Some of them looked at him and grumbled in agreement. 

    “My son, you must know that it is all a test.” 

    “A test of what?” 

    “Faith.” 

    “What good does faith do? If you had your wife beaten and raped in front of you where would faith come in?” One man asked, standing up. 

    “Or what about if your husband was given a drug so toxic that his skin peeled and you were forced to watch him die?” A woman inquired, standing up next. They looked at him waiting for him to speak again. 

    “Hatred…. is powerful. For some it keeps us alive.” The man shook his head.    

 “Son, it brings you to your doom.” 

    “Let me tell you something. With all due respect, I don’t give a damn about anything you’ve said. I have been through hell. I lost my wife, my son was murdered right in front of me and I’ve been forced to play dead. For what? Is this world not ours? Are the days gone where we are honest people who work hard and love? Perhaps that is just a dream. In the past. But, you were not there when I had to watch my son cry for me as he was sucked into a black hole. You were not there when I had to watch my wife be beaten and taken away from me in handcuffs. You were not there when I had to pick her off of the floor time and time again as she sat in her own blood after another miscarriage. You know nothing about me. Don’t come here and tell me what I feel is foolish. I have every right to be pissed. I have every right to want to get even. I want those bastards dead.” He stood up and walked away, his face hot. His heart hurt. It seemed the gaping hole had just grew even bigger. He wanted to let it all out. The emotion threatening to spill over. 

    “Son,” He turned around to find the Elder standing there, a serene smile on his face. 

    “You are correct. I apologize if I was presumptious. I do not know anything of you. I do not know what you have been through nor what you have suffered. For some people, hatred does keep them alive… for a brief moment.” He kept silent as he continued. 

    “You are justified in your anger. However, let me ask you this… what will you choose to do with your anger? Which outcome will you choose and what will be the consequence? Every thing has its own reaction. Ones we can predict and others that we cannot. Nevertheless, they come; whether it be instanteous, a week, month or years from now.” 

    “Sir,” 

    “I’m not finished.” He closed his mouth. 

    “You are rightly angry. Everything you ever knew was taken from you. Now, my question to you is how are you going to channel and use that emotion? For good? Or for your own destruction? If your son could see you now… would he be proud of you? Would he say that his father set a good example of how he should react in the world to situations outside of his control? Would you be proud of him should he act in the same manner? Anger when used correctly can create some of the most beautiful and inspiring outcomes. Or it can poison the spirit and soul and blacken it so that it slowly and eventually dies. It is your choice. As a man. As a husband. And as a father.” 

    I was once in a situation such as yourself. I am sure you are aware of the corporation Txeis?” 

    “Quite.” 

    “They have been around longer than even me. And they killed my wife. In cold blood. I had my house destroyed and found myself homeless. They had sent some of their people to chase my other relatives out of the country. 

    “Why?” 

    “Because I had chosen my path. My way. I had turned my back on them and their ways. I knew in my spirit what I should do and I did it.” 

    “It took me years before I grew tired. I was tired of hating. Tired of being angry. It exhausted me. I found that it did nothing for me but make me miserable. I grew older and older and felt as if the very life was being drained from me.” He looked into his eyes.     “You are a young man, still full of life. I implore you, do not wait until you are old and grey to finally realize how foolish and utterly wasted your life has been. You have a choice and I encourage you to make it. Let me ask you.. is your wife still alive?” 

    “Y-yes.” 

    “You can have such a bright future. One where you do not live in fear or chaos. You can be fruitful once again. You can take your wife and create a new life. You do not have to be enslaved to hatred. The man you once were… has he died?” He was silent, his hands starting to tremble. 

    “I’ll leave you now my son. You have such promise. I have such hope for you. You shall survive.” He smiled and left him standing there, the desert wind brushing sand against his face. 

    “Faie…” He looked up and saw Avery standing in front of him looking worried. 

    “It’s alright. I’m fine.” 

    “I knew that old man was going to spout nonsense. He’s gotten the whole camp upset. I cannot wait until he leaves in the morning.” He cleared his throat. 

    “The man is very wise Avery. Perhaps… what he had to say… many weren’t ready to receive.” 

    “Wait, what did you two talk about? Just a minute ago-” 

    “I know A. I know. Just…. I-I just think…. we should give him the benefit of the doubt.” Av snorted. 

    “Yeah all right bro. I don’t care what he says. I still hate Txeis with every fiber of my being. And I will not stop until I can take as many of them out as they did for me and mine.  You’re not thinking of bailing on us are you?” 

    “Don’t make me beat the shit out of you A. Not tonight.” He chuckled and held his hands up in defense. 

    “I had to ask. You were starting to sound like that old man for a minute. Come on, let’s get back.” He sighed and walked back to his tent. Laying underneath the tarp, he stared into the darkness. Hatred… There was once a time where he had hated Xaen. He couldn’t stand her. He wanted nothing to do with her. It was quite poisious indeed. But yet, it was just a thinly veiled disguise for the love and attraction he felt for her. 

*** 

    “Get out of my way.” Her tongue was sharp and the bite strong. 

    “You are in my way. It would be wise for you to move.” She glared up at him. 

    “I never liked you Gael Choi. You always thought you were better than me. Why? Because you’re a man?” He snorted. 

    “You are such an irritating little woman. All you ever do is run your mouth. You can never shut up can you?” A vein bulged in her forehead. 

    “To think that I have to marry you. The thought of touching you is repulsive. I want your hands no where near my vicinity.” He laughed. 

    “Says the girl who was caught watching me from behind a bush. Obviously, you contradict yourself.” She pushed at his chest. 

    “And to think you let me. You liked it. Otherwise you would not have let me humiliate myself as long as I did.” He smirked and leaned down to stare at her closer. 

    “My my Xaen… you are quite becoming when you allow your emotion to consume you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up.” His smirk grew bigger as a red blush flushed her smooth brown cheeks. 

    “Did I hit a nerve?” She growled. 

    “You infuriate me so much.” 

    “Yet that didn’t stop you from watching me.” The blush grew. 

    “Gael, please do me a favor. Do not flatter your fragile male ego. There is nothing of you I like or desire. Now, I shall ask again. Move.” 

    “Sounds like a command.” 

    “Gael!” Enough was enough. He pushed her into the lake and watched as she shrieked. 

    “GAEL!” 

    “Scream a little louder, the birds will even hear.” 

    “You jackass!” He sighed and jumped into the water. Swimming a bit underneath her, slowly he rose and slipped his arms around her. Coming above water, he breathed heavily and tightened his grip on her waist. 

    “Do you know how to swim?” She shivered against him and angrily turned her head away from him.     

    “Xaen,” 

    “Don’t speak to me. Get me out of this water.” 

    “I think I will keep you right here. You need me. Otherwise you will drown.” 

    “I do not need you for anything. I can swim to shore myself.” 

    “All right.” He let her go and she sunk underwater before splashing wildly. 

    “G-Gael!” He quickly grabbed her and hugged her to him. 

    “Do not ever in your meaningless life do that again.” She growled out, her breath cold on his skin. 

    “Don’t fight me and I won’t have to prove you wrong.” She scoffed. 

    “Take me to shore. I have to get home.” 

    “As you command, your Royal Highness.” He pulled her along in the water. 

    “Kick your legs Xaen.” 

    “What?” 

    “Kick outward to stay afloat.” She started to kick outward and soon they reached the shore. He pulled her out of the water and rubbed her cold arms. 

    “I never liked you. From the first moment I met you and my parents told me that I was to be your husband. I thought how selfish of you to rob me of my life.” She kept quiet, her lips shivering. 

    “I could not understand why it had to be you. Of all people. Of all women. You.” 

    “Likewise. You would never have been my choice for a mate.” She spit out. 

    “So what are we acknoledging Xaen?” 

    “I despise you and you reciprocate the same feeling.” 

    “Ah,” 

    “Look, just get me home. I would not want to get sick. If I do, I’m going to beat you.” 

    “You puny thing, you couldn’t even if you wanted to.” 

    “Gael please. You exhaust me.” 

    “Likewise. I find your constant ceaseless chatter disheartening and irritating.” They soon grew quiet and they stood at a distance as they traveled home. 

*** 

    When he thought about it now, he laughed. It was so obvious that he was in love with her. If he were honest, he enjoyed her quick remarks. He loved the way she felt in his arms. And whether it was known or not to her, he had watched every word come from her mouth. He had wanted to kiss her so badly that night. It was not understood how. How he could want to. There was an increasing level of attraction fighting its way to the surface between them and at that time he wasn’t sure if he was ready. He had been noticing many things about her. The way her body filled out her once ill fitting clothing. The curves and contours of her womanly body did very unfamiliar things to him. Perhaps it was the growing up of children to young people. Perhaps. Sighing, he turned on his side. How he missed her. She had brought out a side of him he didn’t even know existed. A sweet side. A gentle side. Xaen. His Xaen. Tears started to well up in his eyes. He missed everything about her. The scent of her skin freshly cleansed. The fragance of her hair. Her smooth soft skin. Her laughter. Her wit. Her intelligence. Her work ethic. She was such a hard worker. Never wanted to stop until she had done the absolute best. He missed the way she would crawl on top of him some mornings and kiss his cheek. She was such an earthy woman, her essence that of mint and cinnamon. Fresh. The way she would whisper his name in his ear. 

    The tears spilled over and ran down his cheek. The way she glowed with radiance as she placed her hands on her ever growing belly. The days where her feet and ankles would swell and he would kiss them and rub them. The nights she lay naked underneath him and the feeling he received pressing his face against her womb… only to feel his son move. His son… a son he held in his arms every morning only to lay a kiss to his little forehead. A son that brought laughter, joy and purity into their household. A son that would walk to him and fall asleep on his chest. 

    He hurt. The pain was too much. He couldn’t endure any more. It was too much. He wanted to go back to those days. Those days spent laying in the wild grasses and flowers. Those days spent making love to her until they reached exhaustion. Those days of placing flowers in her hair and kissing her forehead. Those days of tucking his baby into bed and telling him a story until he fell asleep. Before Txeis ruined their lives. 

    He laid on his back as the tears slid back into his hair. He didn’t want to listen to that man. Who was he to come and tell him he was a fool? Who was he to come face to face with a truth so evident that it was hard to ignore? He wanted to be angry at the man. Angry at what he said. But then, how could he be angry at truth? Wisdom? That was in itself the epitomy of foolishness. And a fool he was not. Had he thought of what exactly he would do once he got Xaen out of prison? What kind of life would they live?             Sniffling, he bit his lip. He was not the impulsive teenager he once was. He was a man who had grown and learned. Learned of the world. While he didn’t quite know what he was going to do, he did know that he was going to get his wife. He was going to emanipate her and they would go far away. Maybe… maybe they could start over. When this was all done, he would never let her go again. A memory of her instantly caused the pain to fade away and he soon found rest. 

*** 

She stood outside on their veranda, feeling the wind gently rock her naked body. It picked up her hair and danced along with the rhtym of the earth. He stood inside watching her. Her body was made from God. Every place on her he had kissed and become acquainted with. And that he never tired of. She looked like an angel, the sunlight shining on her. 

    “Xaen,” He could have beat himself. Why he spoke he didn’t know. He feared he had ruined the moment. She turned and her eyes softened setting their sight on his. 

    “Yes?” 

    “What are you doing out here?” 

    “It will rain soon. I wanted to feel the breeze.” 

    “Ah,” 

    “Come here.” He was drawn to her as if by a magnet. Such a force of her that surrounded around and within him. She reached for his hands and wrapped them around her. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her neck and further to her shoulder. She sighed and leaned her head back on his chest. 

    “Gael,”     

    “Mm?” 

    “I love you.” He smiled into her hair.

    “I love you too baby.” 

    “I can feel it. The life we created. I feel it stir and grow.” His hand drifted down to her womb. 

    “Isn’t it beautiful? Of love comes life.” He said softly into her ear. 

    “I never thought we could. Of all the love we have… it never seemed enough. But… finally…. it is.” She slid her fingers through his hand. 

    “And it is only the beginning.” She turned and pressed her lips to his. He didn’t move or kiss her deeper. Not yet. The wind picked up again and she slowly turned around. Reaching up, she slid her fingers into his shirt until it fell off of his shoulders. She pulled it away from his body. Her fingers trailed down to his hips. 

    “Xaen…” 

    “Yes husband?” 

    “My hunger for you grows every day.” She smiled before leaning up and kissing him. 

    “Let me satiate it then.” His pants soon pooled around his feet and he stepped out of them. She sighed and kissed his shoulder as she pulled his body against hers. 

    “So idyllic this life is.” She whispered against his chest. 

    “Is it?” He breathed against the swell of her breast. 

    “It makes one never want to exist outside of it.” He bent down and picked her up. He walked into the tall grasses and hid them deep within them. 

    “We don’t have to. We can stay here until we pass on from this world.” He placed a flower into her hair and leaned down to kiss her, deeply taking her essence into his being. Her body became her speech and words were spoken silently. Passionately. All that existed was her. And their child. Work meant nothing. The life outside of this simplistic haven mattered not. For the moment, they could just be. 

“Tell me about your husband.” I looked up at the woman, who sat down tapping her pen. 

“What do you need to know?” 

“You’re very closed up Xaen. I want to help you.” I scoffed. 

“You have helped me enough.” 

“Xaen, I want to help you heal. You are hurting.” 

“You’re right. But I do not have to share anything with you.” 

“So you choose to suffer in silence?” 

“Than talk with you.” 

“I see.” She stopped tapping the pen. She put her pen down on her paper and placed it on the chair next to her. She took off her glasses and sighed. 

“I am aware of what Txeis has done for a lot of people. I understand your hurt very well.” 

“Do you?” 

“Txeis ruined my life.” 

“Yet you still work for them. Must not have ruined it that badly.” She smiled sadly and sat back. 

“Xaen, you are so very bitter. It is so biting. Somewhere deep down, you are not like that.” 

“You know me so well.”  She kept quiet this time and just looked. It seemed that I had been turned to look the fool. 

“If you do not wish to talk to me that is fine Xaen. But I wish for you to be well.” I sat in silence for a long while before returning my vision to her. 

“My husband you asked about?” She smiled and gently nodded. 

“I will only disclose this bit…He was the love of my life.” My voice cracked and tears threatened to come. Such a touchy subject… one I was not ready to discuss with her. I did not trust her. Watching her pen pause one thing though was certain. Txeis had ruined her life. That story I would love to hear. 

“I’m sure he was.” 

“What happened to you? How did Txeis ruin your life?” She licked her lips and took a shaky breath. 

“My, I didn’t expect that I would be in the answering seat this session.” 

“Surprise.” She reached up and slid fingers through her hair. I scanned her every move. She was in fact a very beautiful woman. Light brown skin and dark silky hair identified her as of the Southeast Asiatic region. Her knuckles clutched her clipboard and behind her eyes lied pain. 

“Txeis has had some shortcomings with me but I will be very grateful towards their acceptance of me. Because of them I have a job.” She eyed the corners of the room. Cameras. Recordings. I sat back. She could not risk her job now could she? (Reena Ninan) 

“I see.” 

“That will be all for today Xaen. Thank you.” Her eyes looked down. Perhaps without the cameras she would be more persuasive. I sighed. I needed risk. If I was going to open up to her even a little bit I was going to need someone who wasn’t afraid to risk all. I got up and left. Who was Gael? He was the father of my precious son. He was my very best friend.

Tears fell down my cheeks and I hugged myself. Gael was apart of my soul. We would forever be connected and I would never take another man. I would remain alone for the rest of my life. Gael would forever have me as his. My hands came down to rest on my womb. Tarwyn… my precious little boy. How could a womb feel so empty and depleted? I had fought to keep him and he was such a strong boy. He had fought his way to survive, a spirit given to him by his father. I came in contact with my guard. 

“Time for the grub hall Xaen.” 

“Not hungry.” 

“You have to go.” I kept quiet as they tightened my cuffs. They led me in to the mess hall. 

*** 

“You know you have to eat, string bean.”  She glanced up at Gael who was walking up into their lot. 

“I’m not hungry.” She said, pushing away the fruit that her mother had set aside for her on the porch. 

“Why is that?” He asked, growing closer and closer. 

“Just not.” Finally, he had made it in front of her. 

“Ah, such a pity. It looks delicious.” 

“Gael,”  He looked up into the kind face of her mother, standing there behind the screen door. 

“Hello Ms. Aoura. How are you today?” 

“Fine. Yourself?” 

“Very well.” 

“What brings you by?” He glanced briefly at Xaen before meeting her mother’s eyes once again. 

“Just thought I would stop by.” Her mother smiled and glanced at him. 

“I’m glad you did. I’m sure Xaen is too.” She turned to give her mother a sharp look. 

“She is?” 

“Oh dear, my meat is in the oven. Wouldn’t want it to burn. See you later dear.” 

“Goodbye Ms. Aoura.” He turned and came to sit beside her. 

“Did rest find you peacefully?” He asked, staring out into the large expanse of the blue and white sky. 

“Yes and you?” 

“Quite.” 

“You aren’t going to the Corporation with your father today?” She asked, looking at him from the corner of her eye. 

“I should be there now.” 

“Why are you not?” He sighed. 

“I do not want to.” 

“Gael,” 

“Xaen,” He replied, looking at her with a simple smile. 

“You know that not going is breaking tradition.” 

“Ah so you follow tradition to the nine?” 

“I’m just saying…” 

“I always got the feeling of new from you. A woman who would break out of tradition and forge her own path” She snorted. 

“You got all of that from me?” 

“One of many things.” Suddenly, the breeze couldn’t come fast enough and she found that her cheeks were warm. 

“Xaen,” 

“Gael,” 

“Come with me to the festival tonight.” His boldness pleased her. 

“Me? Of all the pretty girls you choose me?” She teased with a smile. 

“You are the only one who can speak for me.” She blushed more. 

“And of all the girls there, you are the only one who would catch my attention.” 

“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?” He stood up. 

“I’ve always been nice.” She laughed. 

“Surely you jest.” 

“Maybe… it is because I have grown fond of you Xaen.” 

“I see.” 

“I shall come to you tonight at 8.” 

“Alright.” 

“See you then.” She watched him walk away and soon down and around the bend until he disappeared. The screen door opened and her mother came out to sit beside her. 

“He is fond of you. Very much so.” 

“I don’t know if I should go.” 

“And why not? You are the only young woman his eyes will see. That he has made clear. And besides, this could be the time where you two really get to know of one another.” 

“Mother…. what… just happened?” 

“I believe Gael Choi just asked you to accompany him on an date.” Her face blossomed in color and her mother chuckled before kissing her forehead. 

“We must make sure you are ready for tonight. Come, let’s run your bath.” She got up. 

“Xaen?” 

“Yes Mother?” 

“Do make sure you eat that fruit. It is so beautiful to see you with figure. I will not have my daughter waste away.”  Grabbing the bowl, she started to eat the fruit as she made her way into the abode for her bath. Eat she would. 

***

“Finished.” The guards wasted no time showing me back to my cell. I sat in the corner of my bed and laid my head down on my knees. I was no longer his string bean. Our lives had been interwoven so intricately that now nothing of my former self remained. Even still, memories of the man I so longed for traveled through my mind like the wind. They were all that sustained me. My fingers itched to write my feelings but for now, they would be cemented within my mind. Gael was only thing still giving me strength. From beyond the grave, he still watched over me. I bit my lips. How I desired to go back. How I wished none of this had happened. If I could just remain safe against my husband’s chest, his arms holding me captive…I’d find the will to live. I laid down, eyes blankly staring at the grey slate wall. My will…had long since been gone. But once…it lived in him. It had been brought alive by the touch of his lips. But now an all consuming fire dwelled where once purity and love had lived. 

***

“What would you like to discuss today Xaen?” 

“There is nothing I desire to share with you.” The tapping began and I looked at the woman whose name I’d come to know. 

“There’s nothing that has been weighing on your heart?” 

“…” She sighed heavily. 

“How did the prestigious medical doctor turn into a criminal?”

“How you ask? Hatred. Heartbreak. Grief. All of which were bestowed graciously upon me by Txeis.” 

“And how did they grace you with these things?” 

“What lies beneath your surface I wonder. How long you must have worn your mask.” I watched as something changed in her eyes. She broke the contact and looked down. 

“…I understand that you have suffered…a lot of us have.”

“Suffering would be too kind a word to describe what happened to me.” She swallowed. 

“Even so… it is wise to allow someone to aid in healing. You don’t want that for yourself?” 

“What I want is to get even.” Patel lifted her eyes and fixed them onto my face. 

“I want to know how you reached this place.”

“Are you worthy of that? ”

“I simply want to help you Xaen.”

“Yet you are being monitored and cameras surround all four walls. How very careful you have to be Patel. I on the other hand don’t care what happens to me. I will speak the truth.” If she wanted to know… she would get her answer.

“What is the truth?” 

“It lived once inside my womb. It once existed between the lips of my husband. In a field of tall grass it dwelled there undisturbed.” 

***

The light from the lanterns lit up the night and the scent of iris and lilac permeated through the air. She swallowed thickly as she watched other girls her age walk past. Some of them wore dresses that revealed skin, their necks on display. Sure to entice. She, however, wore a dress once belonging to her mother. A white silk dress that touched the ground, the only skin shone was that of her shoulders, ornamented with jewels. The sleeves of the dress hung off of her shoulders and fell to her waist. Her mother had coifed her dreadlocks, lifting them up and away from her neck. Her face was bare except for golden shimmers which adorned her skin. A translucent gloss painted her lips and she nervously clutched her hands together. Eyes scanned the crowd, searching. Was he still coming? 

“Xaen?” Her breath caught in her throat and she slowly turned. Displeased that the man who faced her wasn’t him. 

“Aeris.” The way he looked at her made her stomach grow tight. 

“You look amazing.” 

“Thank you.” Her voice was robotic and emotionless. 

“It’s a pity you’re taken.”

“Why is that?”

“Gael doesn’t want to be with you. But looking at you now, I think he’s a fool not to want you.” Her throat grew tight and she clutched her fingers tighter. His gaze slid down her body.

“Don’t bother looking for him Xaen.” She stood up tall and held her head high. 

“Thanks for your advice. I shall heed it well.”  Without another word, she left him. When she was far away, un- expectant tears starting to well up in her eyes. Now, the lights had grown further away and in the still of the night, only the light of the fireflies could be seen. She sat down on the grass. This was a mistake. There was no way that he could reverse his feelings so quickly. Surely, this all had to be a ruse. Surely, he had an ulterior motive. 

And like a fool, she had played right into his hand. She knew it was all too good to be true. He wasn’t in love with her. Nor did she expect him to be. After all, they had been spoken for, their voices silenced in the matter. She let the tears fall down her cheeks. How humiliating. Even still, she was daughter of Zor and no one deserved to see her broken. Hastily wiping her tears, she stood slowly. He would not play her a second time. 

Soon the lights reappeared in view and she walked calmly, the blades of the grass rustled underneath her feet. Soon, she stopped in mid stride. There, up ahead, stood Gael. Eyes turned to meet a small group of girls that surrounded him. One in particular caught her attention. Paurel Zee. She was beautiful, pale skin glowing ethereally. Her body clothed in pure moonlight, every curve of hers accentuated. She had a hand on his bicep. For a while, she observed his uncomfortable body language. 

“I’m so glad you came Gael.” She purred, sliding that same hand down to his abdomen. He didn’t answer but the way he looked at her revealed his repulsion. She swallowed thickly and approached them. 

“I see you are here after all.” His eyes lifted and met hers. She allowed him a look as he took her in head to toe. 

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” He answered, gaze returning to hers. 

“You did invite me did you not?” 

“I did.” Paurel scrunched up her face as if something rancid had passed by her nose. 

“My, Xaen don’t you look quite plain. Don’t you know how fortunate you are to be invited by Gael to attend?” 

“I was not aware that the power of heaven and earth lied in one man.” She replied, her gaze set on the girl. 

“You are of marriageable age and yet you still look like a child. How unbecoming.” 

“You are quite right Paurel. I don’t have such ample features such as yourself. And yet, is it not I who speaks for Choi Gael?” She replied smoothly, her gaze chilly. The girl flushed red and gripped her fingers together.

“It’s a shame really. Such a handsome man promised to someone like you. You don’’t deserve him.” 

“Paurel,” Gael reached up and gripped her hand.

“I’ve had enough. Your presence makes me want to vomit.” If she could have turned into a tomato, she would have. She blinked, mouth gaping open. 

“C-come again?” He tossed her hand away as if it were infected. 

“You would do well to hold your tongue in the future. I and I alone speak for Xaen. Insignificant as you may be, no one will disrespect her in my presence. I care not who they are.” She shrank back from him, the other girls gasping. 

“I don’t understand…I thought you hated her! She’s not worthy of you Gael! She’s a simple country girl who doesn’t know her place! How could you defend her?” Before he had a chance to respond, she walked up to her and slapped her. 

“Perhaps the hole betwixt your thighs is so big and thirst so insatiable that you do not have ears. I don’t give a damn what you think about me. But, I will not tolerate you disrespecting my kin. Keep their names out of your filthy mouth!” She snarled, lifting her hand again as to strike her a second time. But before it could make contact, a much bigger hand gripped hers. 

“Xaen.” Her breath had grown labored, anger traveling through her body in waves. 

“She is not worth it.” He’d grown close, his breath a hair’s length away. She looked up at him, nostrils flared. 

“Gael…”

“Compose yourself.” She couldn’t stop the way her fingers gripped his nor stopped the hand that slid around her waist, pulling her flush against him. All the while, her eyes met Paurel’s. She watched the way he brought her arm down to her side, fingers still tightly intertwined. A blotchy red mess scattered across her neck as eyes took in the golden galaxy on her skin. 

“You…you actually love her don’t you?” Gael spoke not behind her, his breath falling softly on her shoulder. 

“Paurel…there’s plenty of other guys here…let’s go…” She was slow to turn but soon followed her friends away. For the longest time, she cursed her heart as it beat wildly in her chest. The intimate contact of his skin and breath upon her was making her light headed. The press of his male body against her had taken the feeling out of her knees. 

“You can let go of me.” 

“Am I required to?” His voice, now low in timbre touched her in places only her mother had seen. She broke the contact, pulling his arms away from her. 

“We’ve achieved our goal. Paurel is gone. Therefore, there is no need to remain in contact.” She turned around to face him. 

“What is your agenda Gael?” He tilt his head slightly as if he misunderstood. 

“My agenda?” 

“Why have you asked me here?”

“You asked me that before. I believe I answered it.”

“Refresh my memory.”

“I have grown quite fond of you.” 

“So suddenly?” 

“It has been a long tireless process trust me.” She watched him as he spoke again, his every movement under scrutiny. 

“I’m glad you decided to attend.”

“You are?” 

“Yes. I am.” She bit her lips.

“My mother spent a lot of time preparing me for you. She is hopeful for our union.” 

“The effort is very much appreciated.” 

“Gael,”

“Xaen.”

“While I was waiting for you earlier, Aeris came to me.” 

“Is that so?”

“He said a lot of things to get underneath my skin.”

“Such as?” She brought her gaze upwards. 

“He told me that you didn’t desire a union with me. How much of a fool you must be to not want me.” Strange that irritation flickered across his rather emotionless face. 

“I see.” How curious it was that the intonation of his voice had changed. 

“I understand that this is something unfamiliar to both of us. We’ve spent our lives despising one another for the decisions outside of our control. I understand also that what Aeris said is the truth.” His gaze grew intense. 

“Xaen.”

“Time and time again, we’ve been at each other’s necks. My parents have such high hopes for you and I. But, I would desire you be happy with a mate of your choice.” 

“Xaen,” His form grew closer. 

“With this expressed…I’m going to go home. I shouldn’t have come.” 

“You are very much mistaken. I have been intentional asking you here. This, being a choice of mine. Not by my parents.”

“No, everything about you and I have our parents written all over it. How fair is it to you being in bondage to me and I to you?” He grew closer as several people passed by them. 

“I’m not what you want. I’m plain and boring. I’m not in your league.” She could feel the heat from his body as he grew even closer, making her stiffen. 

“You’re wrong.” Those simple words sparked a heat to travel through her cheeks. Eyes met. 

“Gael-”

“Since when does the Xaen I know listen to minuscule little insects?” She couldn’t find words or escape his gaze.

“That’s so unlike you. I don’t like it.” 

“Who do you think you are?” 

“I am the man you will marry.” Anger suddenly lit up within her and she pushed at him. 

“I can’t waste any more of my emotion…on this.” Her legs moved before her brain had time to comprehend and everything blurred past her. She couldn’t take it anymore. The back and forth.. Did he know of what he did to her? How frustrating it was! Who was he to do so? The grasses swished around her, the breeze from the night picked up. Above, starlight lit her path. 

“Xaen wait!” Her heart leapt into her throat. Turning, she found him closer than she had anticipated. 

“Go away. Stop all of this!” 

“Wait!” She ignored him and kept going, past the fountains of Flora, said to grant wishes. Lifting her dress, she ran as far as she could until her lungs begged for wait. Gasping for the air, she let her head fall back. But, it was not air but flesh and blood which it landed on and she turned her head to find Gael behind her, breath just as heavy. The trickling of the fountain was faint and the night covered them. His hand stopped her, fingers tightly gripping hers.

“Why are you running?” He asked, gaze intense. Throat tight, she fought off tears. 

“Why are you wanting to pretend? It’s not worth it.” 

“I’m not pretending. I’ve been trying to show you that.” 

“I don’t understand you!” She said angrily, pushing his chest.

“Look at me Xaen.”

“Let go of me.” 

“Lift your eyes Daughter of Zor.” She gathered the remaining dignity within her and brought her gaze up.

“I haven’t been quite clear until now and for that I apologize.”

“Clear about what?” He pulled her closer. 

“Our betrothal.” 

“We do not have to be redundant. We both know it is meaningless.”

“Xaen, you’re not listening to me.” She remained quiet, gaze strong as she looked at him. The usual stoicism was no more. Instead, his eyes burned with something she couldn’t name. He held on to her with such tenderness, quite different than previous encounters. His hair, normally clipped short teased his cheeks, the strands a direct sign of rebellion. Under the glow of the lanterns, she caught a faint color there in his cheeks.  How breathtaking he was.

“Do you not know the reason I asked you to come here?” The tone of his voice caused her to shiver. Her mouth had long since grown dry and she found herself unable to reply. He let go of her hand.

“You have penetrated my thoughts and I have not been able to remove you.” He lifted his hands and caressed her shoulders, teasing the beaded jewels that hung across them. His eyes traveled down her body. Unlike that of Aeris, they left trails of fire that seemed to meet and conjoin in her womb. Desire…what her mother had spoke of.

“Even now, as the moon washes you with its light, I find you magnificent.” His words stopped her breath and she looked up into his eyes. Within the depths, she felt as though she could get lost. 

“You are beautiful.” She inhaled, eyes grown wide. 

“Gael…” He enclosed his arms around her, their bodies flush. 

“I want no one else for my mate. You will suffice.” She couldn’t speak and she remained still against him. What was happening?

“I don’t compute…” She whispered against his chest, eyes closed. His hand lifted and skimmed her cheek. 

“I grow tired of fighting what I cannot change.” 

“Gael,”

“Consider this to be a notice.”

“A notice of what?” 

“My pursuit of you.” Her legs had grown unsteady and she finally allowed herself to touch him. The firm muscles of his back met her fingertips. She inhaled his scent as he hugged her close. For the longest time, she held on to him and when it was time, she pulled away from him. Biting her lips, she glanced up at him. The timid boy she had known from the age of five had grown into a man who fearlessly and boldly spoke his mind. Her heart pumped against her chest but she spoke, voice soft. 

“Pursuit accepted.” He smiled and sighed, leaning down to press his lips against her cheek.

“Make a wish Xaen. The waters of Flora are listening.” She gripped his shoulders, cheeks hot. 

“I…I want to share a dance with you here…for the first time.” His hand came to slide around her waist and their fingers joined together. 

“Wish fulfilled.” He pulled her as close as she could get and gently guided her in a dance. In the quiet with no one around, the chirping of the cicadas served as their personal orchestra, the fireflies their audience. He felt so right, so good underneath her fingers. Sighing deeply, she smiled against him as they twirled to their own rhythm. Soon they came to a stop. Her arms tightly held him to her and she was sure he could feel her heart beating against his. 

“Make another wish.” He spoke lowly, watching her every move. She licked her lips. She gripped his shirt. 

“K-kiss me.” 

“You are aware of the consequences of this action?” She took a shaky breath. 

“I-I accept them…” That was all he needed. Reaching up, he let loose her hair, the strands falling around her waist. Sliding fingers through the fragranced dreads, slowly his lips came to meet hers. Her lips molded against his perfectly. Her eyelids fluttered closed and she sighed against his mouth. He explored her gently, without rush and the taste of him sent electricity sparking through her veins. His kiss sent her above the atmosphere into the stars. Sooner than she’d liked, his lips came away from hers, taking her breath with them. She couldn’t quite open her eyes yet, not while the earth still spun beneath her feet. Her breath was deep and cheeks ablaze. 

“Wish granted.” He spoke gently against the corner of her mouth. 

“I fear that I might fall.” He lifted her into his arms, cradling her to his body. Without another word, he sifted through the grass until the rushing waters of Flora were within reach. Placing her onto a stone seat, he pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Xaen…” His voice was whispery. 

“What is it?” 

“Now that I’ve tasted you I won’t be satisfied until I have another.” Her eyes opened to find his gaze on her. 

“Gael…” 

“I have never once contemplated being selfish before now.” His thumb brushed her bottom lip. 

“But your father will kill me should I act rashly.” She pulled him closer, only slightly. 

“We are to remain separated until we are joined.” 

“That is best.” Leaning up, she quickly pressed her lips against his, eager for another taste of him. One turned into many and they pulled away, breath heavy. The heat in her cheeks mirrored his. 

“The festival shall go on into the night. We should partake in it.” Biting her now bruised and tingling lips, she nodded. Fingers outstretched, waiting. Slowly, she pressed her fingers against his. He gripped them and pulled her towards him. Slowly, they came back towards the light, the music and the laughter of all of their peers. His touch pressed against her back. Eyes followed them and recorded every inkling of contact between them. Now, there was not disdain in her heart when she looked at him. But instead, there was a warm overwhelmingly big happiness. Now, he carried the word she treasured most on his skin, in between their fingertips and most importantly on his lips. It blazed brighter than the very stars. It read: Mine. 

***

“We gave Txeis everything. They took my reproductive system…our marriage….they even tried to destroy the love we had for one another. So many children we had created…they too took their lives selfishly. Txeis filled our young minds with false hope. We truly believed that we were making a difference…helping as many people as we could. But we didn’t know that in fact our hands, young as they were, were stained with blood.” Patel gripped her clipboard. The ceaseless tapping that irritated me had finally stopped and now she was at a loss for words. 

“Xaen…”

“You want to know the truth. I shall tell you.” 

“I…I think that is enough for now.” 

“Silencing me will do you no good. If you wish to know I shall reveal.” She looked shaken up, something within my words affecting her. Good. 

“Xaen.” We both looked up into the face of a guard who had come to collect me. 

“The warden would like to speak with you.” I frowned, Patel silent. 

“About?”

“You have been rewarded with good behavior.” My heart leapt in my chest. Very good. 

“I understand.” Standing up, I glanced at Patel. 

“Until our next meeting.” The guard grabbed my handcuffs and escorted me down the hall. Soon and very soon, I’d be free. 

***

“Faie?” Eyes glanced upwards to find a young woman standing in front of him. She clutched her hands nervously. 

“Tawn.” She inhaled and swallowed. 

“W-what are you doing?” He stood up. 

“What is it you require?” 

“Ah, well nothing really. I-I just wanted to come see you that’s all.” 

“I see.” Before she could say anything else, he turned his back to her. 

“If there is nothing you need, I will take my leave.” 

“Faie…” He could smell it on her. The desire to have him. It did them no good. He’d never take another woman.  He burned for only one. His eyes opened and met the sky. When he finally held her again, he’d let her breathe life back into him. He’d been dead for so long. 

“We move out in the morning.” He spoke, passing Avery. 

“Roger.” He’d cried enough tears. He’d remembered enough. Now, it was time to implement his plan. If it cost him his life, it was a worthy sacrifice. He would retrieve his wife no matter the consequence. 

The sunlight streamed through the window and burned yellow into my skin. My body was wet with sweat and tears slid across my nose into the sheets. Another dream had haunted me. All at once, the grief hit me in the stomach over and over again. It was too much. Too much to bear. When they had taken him… the last thing keeping me on the earth.. my soul died. I slowly sat up, the sheet falling away from my bare skin. This time, not even my fingers would bring me what I needed. Staring at the sky through the bars, I tilt my head back, letting the tears fall into my hair. So much to fight for…so much had been lost. 

***

The summer breeze danced around her and she took of it into her lungs. How time had come and gone. 

“Xaen?” Turning, she met the eyes of the man she would wed in just a few days time. Cheeks grown warm, she spoke. 

“What is it?” 

“Do you want to go with me into the metropolis?” She smiled. 

“Sure.” He had cut his hair, the strands once covering her fingers no more. It seemed his rebellion had passed. He wore the grey uniform of the Corporation. 

“You will stay there all day you know.” 

“As long as I can watch you, I will be content.” He came down to where she stood and gently caressed her cheek. 

“When we return, I want you to stay with me.” Her eyes widened. 

“Gael I can’t. You know it’s prohibited.” 

“I will not touch you…much.” She pushed at him playfully. 

“You’re not touching me at all. You’re trying to get us in trouble.” A small grin slid across his lips. 

“It is not a crime, my wanting you.” 

“I-I know but still…” He leaned down to press his lips against her nose. 

“I will honor you Xaen. Have no fears.” She grabbed his hand. 

“What is there to fear when I’m with you?” His eyes met hers. She let go of him and reached up to smooth the stiff collar around his neck.

“Shall we go?” 

“I’ll be waiting. Go ahead and change.” She smiled as he leaned down to kiss her bare shoulder. Without another word, he left her. Watching him contently, she bit her lip. If living in a world full of regulations meant she could enjoy being with him then she would. She went into her abode and changed into something that covered her completely.

“Mother, Gael is taking me with him to the Corporation.” She said, coming into the kitchen. Her mother nodded after looking her over. 

“Acceptable. Do mind your manners and behave Xaen.” She remained still as her mother quickly braided her hair. 

“I will.” 

“I will see you when you return.” 

“Yes Mother.” Kissing her cheek, she came to meet him. He placed a helmet on her head. 

“Hold on tight to me Xaen.” She nodded. She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly as they got on his cylis. Without another second, they rushed forward, nothing remaining but the trail of light behind them. 

***

A sea of grey surrounded her and had she not been walking beside him, she would not have been able to tell a difference. Here, no physical touch was allowed. Here, you obeyed the regulatory system. She glanced up at him as they drew nearer. Even his expression had changed. Neutral and cold, emotionless. How she ached to make the warmth come back to him. They entered through the glass doors and were instantly met by a woman. Her hair was tightly pulled into a bun, grey and scarlet covered her body. 

“Identify yourself.” 

“09-10347.” Gael replied, voice flat. 

“Identification verified.” She looked at her. 

“Identify yourself.” She grew still for she didn’t have a number to report. 

“She will be listed underneath my code.” He interjected, back straight. 

“Is she kin?” 

“We will be wed.” 

“Change noted. Welcome to the Txeis Corporation.” The smile on her face looked like it hurt and soon the woman returned to her desk. 

“Let’s go.” She followed suit behind him. Lights scanned several persons as they passed, large bright glass windows to each side. Soon, they came into a room, the persons all wearing grey. He turned to her, taking her by surprise. 

“You may sit in the adjacent room. There, you will have access to view our activities. If I finish early, we can leave.” She nodded. 

“I will wait for you until then.” A shadow of a smile breezed across his face before he turned to face the other young men and women. Clutching her fingers together, she left them and sat in the room across from him.

*** 

“Are you Gael’s betrothed?” There was another girl who sat not too far away. 

“Yes.”

“You seem to be new. Is this your first time here?” She swallowed. 

“Yes.” 

“I see. My husband is there, right next to the wall.” She pointed. The man was talking to another man, his back turned. 

“Why did he join Txeis?” She asked, eyes searching for Gael. 

“The pay is what we need. It’s getting harder these days without it.” 

“Ah,”

“Many people are moving into the metropolises and leaving the country behind. It’s all for the better I suppose.” She remained quiet. 

“Gael does not talk much but he does a outstanding job here.” 

“Is that so?”

“Yes. So young but already the higher ups are talking about promoting him.” She looked at the woman. 

“Promote him?”

“When he turns 18 years old, I heard they want him to start working immediately. He’s been trained medically for quite a while.” 

“You are well read on him.” 

“I meant no disrespect. He is hard not to notice. Everyone talks about him.” There, against the wall he stood, hands in his pockets. He observed and talked little. 

“I know that he will do great things for our world.” The woman spoke before she grew quiet. Glancing at her, she smiled. Indeed, she believed the same. 

***

“Xaen?” Opening her eyes, she looked up to find Gael crouched beside her, hand on her waist. Night surrounded the building like a blanket and yet it had remained so bright and clear inside. As if day had never ended.  

“…How was your training?”

“It went well.” 

“Good.” He smiled at her and pressed his forehead against her shoulder. 

“I wonder just how long you’ve been waiting.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” He sighed. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve come.”

“Why now decide to come back?” 

“You.” She lifted up some. 

“Me?”

“You are the motivation behind my return.” She lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek. 

“Gael…” He gently stood up and tugged on her hand. 

“Let’s get you home. It’s late.” Yawning, she got up. They came back down the hall, down the stairs and past the now empty desk. They spoke not a word as they left through the glass doors. Standing in front of his cylis, she lifted the helmet to place it on her head. 

“Xaen,” 

“Yes?” He leaned down and kissed her, making her grow stiff. 

“Thank you for coming with me.” She licked her lips and smiled at him. 

“It’s nothing.” He placed his helmet on and once she was secure, he took off, speeding through the night. 

***

My arms came to enclose around me. That was the beginning of it all. Now, I understood why he rebelled so much against them. Even then, he sensed something wasn’t right. No authority should have been greater than that of the Creator’s. No one should have been allowed to create such a repressive world. From then on, Gael was seen less and less as he spent his time at Txeis. For a moment yet, we still had peace. We still had a taste of the old life… the old way. For a moment, I could love him without any inhibition.

*** 

The veil was placed on her head by her mother, the sides hanging down to the floor. It caressed her hair and face and it smelled sweet. Golden bracelets slid up her wrists and triceps. Gold flecks were pressed into skin fragranced of orchid and dahlia. For hours, she had soaked in the water while other women in her village had re twisted her dreadlocks and rubbed sweet oils into the strands. When she had gotten out, hands wrapped a thin silver chain around her hips, small bells attached. Tradition had it that a bride who wore the family heirloom would be fruitful and have increased fertility. Her mother before her had worn one and her mother before her. Handmade and custom to the woman of Zor, love and longevity prospered. A sheer garment covered her skin. Her first layer. From there, it was a long exhaustive process until finally she was fully clothed. 

“You’re ready.” Her mother stood back, tears in her eyes. 

“You look beautiful.” Tears welled in her eyes and she hugged her mother tightly. 

“Mother…” 

“Don’t be afraid my darling.” She sniffed and stood taller. 

“I an a daughter of Zor. We do not fear.” Her mother caressed her cheek. 

“That’s my girl. Are you ready to meet your husband?” Her heart pounded inside her chest but she looked forward with a strong gaze. 

“Yes.” 

“Let’s greet them all.” Bare feet stepped forward, toes met the ground. Her hair fell down her back like the waves of the sea and her fingers tightly gripped her mother’s. Upon coming into the gathering, she spotted Gael, the garment of his heritage upon his body. His hair had been pulled up into a bun, a small jade pin securing it through a black holder. He wore a long red fitted jacket, a large golden emblem embroidered on the sides. A rectangular belt around his waist enclosed the jacket shut. Pants were seen underneath and a sheer black hat covered his head. She gripped her mother’s fingers. How quickly her breath had been taken. He looked so handsome. 

“The bride enters!” She held her breath as all eyes turned to her. At the sight of her, his mouth parted and his eyes grew wide. Beside him stood his father and he stepped forward to take her hand from her mother’s. Placing a kiss on her forehead, his father led her closer to him. She felt emotion rise and suddenly, it became hard to speak. Her throat was so tight she didn’t think she could. 

“Receive your bride Gael.” His father spoke strongly, his voice carrying upon the wind. He bowed lowly before her. Lifting, he took her hand, pulling her away from his father. She gripped his fingers, eyes lost within his gaze. 

“Before God, we witness the union of Xaen Zor and Choi Gael. The love the two of them have discovered will surely last many lifetimes. Xaen is a woman who is more than worthy of being Choi. She’s strong and yet has an undeniable femininity about her. Not only is her beauty pure and genuine but she keeps Gael on his toes,” Laughter sounded in the crowd. 

“My son has become a better man because of her. Their union shall be and will be blessed by God. I am honored to call her daughter and I know that she will live a long happy life with Gael.” Tears threatened to spill but she tried to keep it together. 

“From the first moment I met Gael as a little boy, I knew that he would suit Xaen. Though he was timid and quiet, he had such a solidity about him even then. Someone who possessed the qualities to provide and give his all for the ones he loved. It seems I was correct.” Her mother looked at them and smiled, cheeks wet with tears. 

“Now we shall provide the couple a few words. Gael, “ His voice didn’t waver but his hand trembled slightly. 

“When I reflect back on my expectation of this day, I never could have imagined that it would be quite like this. In all honesty, it took me a very long while before I accepted the fact that we were to wed. I felt as if Xaen had somehow robbed me of my future…of the life I wanted to create for myself. I didn’t realize how foolish I was. Though our journey has been challenging, I fell deeply and irrevocably in love with her. She means more to me than words can ever express and I intend to give her the life she so deserves. I will cherish her for as long as God sees fit to put breath in my lungs.” She took a breath and looked up at him, cheeks hot. 

“I fought you every step of the way. Sometimes, I hurt you with my words or with my actions. I didn’t want to accept that indeed I loved you. Since my heart decided on you, I had no choice but to appease it. I haven’t regretted it. You are my very best friend, one who has been with me in my worst and best times. Yet, you’ve never abandoned me. For that Gael, I give you my life. Should you so desire it, my body, heart and soul I too give willingly to you. I ask only that your love never dies. May it continually be a burning flame, hot and never ending.” He lifted her hand to press it against his lips.  

“Now you shall finalize your union with a kiss.” She sucked in a breath as his hands came to cradle her face in his palms. She reached up to wrap her fingers around his wrists. She stood on her tip toes as he leaned down to kiss her. She felt the earth shift underneath her feet as his lips met hers. His kiss shook her very soul. Applause was deafening but somehow, all she could hear was the beating of her heart. Before she lost her balance, she pulled back from him, lips tingling. Blushing, she glanced up at him. His eyes radiated with happiness and overwhelming love. She smiled, teeth showing. He sighed against the top of her head and slid fingers through hers. 

***

Tears streamed down my cheeks. That night, we shared our first time together. I had never experienced anything so intimate, so transcendent. He loved not just my body but the essence that lived within me. I became living art when he made love to me. Each time a different more complex masterpiece. The music made only treasured by the divine.  A cry escaped my throat. I missed his scent, his breath. His heat. The way he had made my body sing. His vibrations shook my spirit to its core. 

***

Fire crackled, the glow from its light painting shadows. She inhaled as arms folded around her. The water crashed against the rocks and the moon was high. Clothes had been scattered, a moment after lips had eagerly kissed one another. Fingertips met his chest, skin smooth and hot to the touch. Her head spun, the warmth within melting her. 

“Xaen,” His voice was quiet. She lifted her eyes to his. 

“I want to see you.” She grew still and removed her hand from him. Taking a deep breath, she nodded. 

“You may remove it…” His hands slowly peeled the last layer of her wedding dress away, leaving only the sheer fabric against her skin. He inhaled sharply as his eyes drifted below her chin. Reaching out, he pressed his fingers against her breastbone, having slid past the thin collar. 

“You’re…so beautiful.” She turned her face away, cheeks seared. 

“Look at me…” He gently commanded, bringing her gaze back to his. 

“You, to me, are perfection.” 

“Gael…” He said not another word as he slowly slid the fabric down her shoulders. It wafted to the ground, the scent of dahlia surrounding her.  His fingers breezed down her arms down to her wrists. 

“Let’s become one.” She looked up at him, intensity radiating from his eyes. Pressing shaky hands against his chest, she nodded. 

“Come with me.” She led him by hand into their private place, deep in the woods. Once there, pants pooled around his feet. She inhaled shakily, suddenly feeling faint. The sight of him bare as the day he was born was nearly too much. A rushing pool collected between her thighs and at the sight of his desire so plain and open, it overflowed. He let her look, gently taking her hand. 

“My body expresses what my words cannot.” He spoke softly, pressing his lips against her skin. 

“As does mine.” She took his other hand, placing it upon her breast. Desire dwelled so deep within his depths she could taste it. 

“Touch me…please.” Lifting his hand from her breast, he brushed her bottom lip with his thumb. Their eyes met only briefly before he kissed her. She lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck. A low rumble came into her mouth and his fingers slid down her waist only stopping when the sound of bells cut through the night. She pulled back, gasping for air. Slowly, he pressed her back against the pallet. Pulling back just enough, he took her in completely. Her chest rose and fell, her wrists pressed against the cushions. His fingers brushed the bells, the chime sweet. Further he went until he met the curls of her triangle. Her breath caught in her throat. He pressed his body against hers and inhaled the scent of her skin and hair. 

“You will be a death I will welcome.” He whispered, fingers nearing a breast. 

“I want not to kill you but to bring you to life.” He hummed, lips finding hers once more. He gently squeezed her, holding her in the palm of his hand. The heat burned her but the mouth that found her melted her. Lips kissed her before gently taking her nipple into his mouth. She cried out, arching her back. Her entire body felt as if it had been set aflame. He suckled at her, making her squirm. He let go, nuzzling her before his tongue came forward to lick at her. She couldn’t contain the sound that escaped her belly.

“G-Gael…” She moaned, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. His mouth left her and continued its journey down past her ribcage and abdomen. Her body shook with the new sensation but how quickly she desired more. His forehead pressed against her hip, fingers gripping the flesh underneath him. Her heart beat against her chest as he slowly part her legs. 

“Gael…” He paused, glancing up at her. She couldn’t quite help the timidity that came over her.

“Will you allow me to dwell here?” He asked, pressing a kiss to her thigh. Biting her lips, she reached up to pull the jade pin free, letting his hair cascade to his neck. Caressing his cheek, she slowly nodded. She sucked in a breath but slowly, she relaxed a bit. He intertwined their fingers and kissed her skin. She allowed him to part her legs and at the sight, his fingers gripped hers tighter. It seemed as if he looked at her very soul, her most private and intimate place now for him to see. 

“You’re so beautiful baby.” She flushed, turning her face into the cushion. The heat of his mouth grew closer and closer to where she ached most, tiny adorning kisses to her inner thigh. 

“Xaen, look at me.” She bit her lips before turning her eyes downward. 

“May I taste you?” Her inhale was unsteady, heat pulsing through her body. The way he looked at her…all of it making her dizzy. 

“…y-yes.” She whispered softly. He leaned forward and kissed the coarse curls of her triangle. His finger came to take a part of her and bring it to his lips. She watched in awe as he nearly crumbled, the groan that came from his belly enough to rustle her spirit. His lips came to suckle the small berry that no longer wanted to hide. Sensation flooded her and she cried out, fingers sliding into his hair. Pleasure unlike anything she’d experienced before hit her in waves. 

“G-G-Gael…” He hummed and teased it a bit more, making her sob. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and she didn’t think she could contain it. Just when it felt like she was going to explode, he pulled away. Panting, she pressed her face into the cushion. His breath had grown heavy and he licked his lips before delving in once more. A finger came to tease her and soon hid within. She gripped the cushions beneath her head as he began to suckle her again. Her hips had developed a mind of its own, trying to draw him in deeper. A deep fire had stirred in her belly and soon it threatened to explode. She tried to prolong it but Gael was determined to make her release it. His ministrations increased until finally it burst free. She took flight on the clouds and arched her back as it overtook her. She gasped for air but only for a second before his lips claimed hers.

Slowly, he pulled his fingers out of her and slid up her body, her legs lifting to drape around his hips. She lifted up and hugged him, fingers gripping his back. He lifted her into his arms. Pulling away, she pressed her forehead against his. Neither one of them spoke a word. When her heart returned to normal, she pressed her face against his shoulder. The feel of him against her felt better than she could describe. She bit her lips, a smile coming to her. How he yearned for her. She could feel it, the hunger that lied beneath her. His fingers reached up and lifted a small handful of her dreads, bringing them to his nose. 

“Xaen…” 

“Yes?” 

“I love you.” He whispered against her temple, kissing her hairline. 

“I love you too.” He gripped her cheeks and leaned her back against the pallet. She looked up at him. 

“Gael.” 

“Xaen.” 

“Dwell within me.” He groaned softly and pressed against her, so close and yet so far away. She lifted her leg slightly, teasing him with her warmth. 

“Please don’t make me beg you. End this torture.” He pressed flush against her, his gaze taking in every movement on her face.

“So I shall.” He gripped her hips and slowly came into her. Pain flushed her face and he paused, only to have her shake her head. 

“N-no. Come.” He let go of her hips and wrapped his arms around her, holding her against him. He was slow and careful. Indeed she became as clay, molding him. He soon fell into her completely. 

“Fuck…” He cursed, gripping her tightly. He fisted the cushion beneath her, biting his lips. 

“G-Gael…” Shuddering against her, he relaxed. She inhaled, feeling him grow still. But without warning, he begun to thrust into her and she bit her lips in a moan. She cried out to him and he answered her with a kiss. He thrust deeper, fingers gripping her cheeks. The fire started to grow and intensify. The bells vibrated loudly, the sound of their lovemaking sweet and clear. He groaned against her, muscles growing tight. 

“G-G-Gael…” She clung to him as slowly, his hips slowed. Her breath decelerated and she opened her eyes to find his trained on her. She arched her back once more, eager to take more of him. He held her still, movement ceasing. Breathing almost calmly against her, his lips came to hover above hers. 

“I wish to dwell within you for eternity.” Her heart calmed and she blushed prettily. 

“I will allow it.” She replied softly, her fingers hidden in his hair. He sighed deeply as he inhaled her scent. How they had become one… He rested so deep within her that she had grown lost… not knowing where he began and she ended. 

“Shall I bring us to climax?” Fingers intertwined. She could only nod, words dried up on her tongue. Lips met without another word and slowly, he moved against her. Long deep strokes that made her toes curl and breath hitch. Just as swiftly, soon the breath left her lungs as he sharply came into her. She moaned his name, rewarded with more piercing thrusts. It seemed as if he touched her very core and she couldn’t control it anymore. The vibrations deep within him rocked her. Tears slid back into her hair.

“Please…Gael…please…” She begged, not caring that she sounded so needy. He groaned against her, fingers digging into her cheeks. The belt tangled in-between them, the bells releasing the song that lived in their hips. Intense and yet so exquisite, they trembled violently as a wet sharp rain doused her. 

“I…I…can’t….oh God I can’t…” Pressing lips against hers, he breathed one simple request. 

“Come for me Xaen…” She sobbed as it suddenly washed over her, consuming her. He followed her to euphoria with a groan, gripping her tight against him. Sweat dusted their flesh and the scent of their lovemaking mingled with the dahlia and orchid, intoxicating her. He buried his face into her hair as his body released, his breath deep. She pressed her fingers against his skin, lips kissing his shoulder.

After a while, the sweat dried and the only thing remained were limbs intertwined. The night had claimed them both in slumber and the stars above twinkled above them. 

***

Memories of it flickered as pictures behind my eyelids. Hugging my body close, tears fell. The happiness that was once so abundant was no more. Was it the cruelest thing to desire the life once held? I could still feel the heat that once lived in my cheeks, the lips of the man I once called husband as they smiled against my shoulder, the laughter from our darling son. My hands slid down to my womb. So many children that we had created… all to be destroyed. Grief covered me and I cried out loudly, agony deep within. I sobbed, feeling the pieces of my heart shatter into a million new pieces. I simply wanted the images to consume me until I traveled back… away from here. I wanted all of it back. 

***

The birds sweet melody drifted into her ears and sunlight streamed inside the tent. She stirred, slowly opening her eyes. She grew still as she felt an arm strewn lazily across her waist. Breath came in soft puffs against her shoulder and she turned around to view the face of the man she now called husband. Hair covered his eyes and his heart beat calmly against her fingertips. His leg still trapped her against him and she couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips. How childlike he was. How trusting he was. To allow her to touch him so freely. She pressed her forehead against his chest and inched closer to his body. His arm came to tighten around her and a deep content sigh came from above her. 

“Did I wake you?” She asked softly, glancing up as slowly, his eyes opened to look at her. 

“Not at all.” 

“You were sleeping so soundly…” A gentle smile came to his mouth and he lifted his hand to tangle his fingers within her hair. 

“How could I not? My beautiful wife is by my side.” Heat flushed her cheeks and she looked away. 

“Gael…” He let his hand fall and shimmied down until his face hid against her breasts. His arm circled her hips. 

“What are you thinking I wonder?” He asked, voice muffled. She bit her lip as her fingers slid into his hair. 

“…What happened last night…wasn’t a dream was it?” Lips smiled. 

“It was very real.” 

“I wasn’t sure anything that felt that good could be real.” He lifted his gaze and his smile grew deeper. 

“Our copulation was satisfactory?” She pushed at his shoulders, watching as he grinned. 

“Don’t taunt me.” 

“I dare not taunt you…” Pursing her lips, she pushed him away to stand. A throbbing soreness rested between her thighs, something her mother mentioned would happen. 

“In all seriousness,” She turned as he lifted, the furs sliding away from him. Even the sight of such took her breath. How greedy she found herself. Sore as she was, she couldn’t help the melted warmth that hit her womb as she set her eyes on what existed between his thighs. She quickly looked away. Arms came around her and pulled her against a solid warm chest. 

“I found it to be more than satisfactory.” She looked up at him to find that his cheeks were as warm and red as hers. But, his gaze was piercing. 

“I’m..glad.” Before she could say another word, he had leaned down to kiss her and with it, a burst of emotion washed over her. How intertwined she was with him…Something so simple… meant the world to her. 

“Would it be selfish to indulge in you this day?” He asked quietly against her mouth as he gripped her tightly. She was powerless to stop herself from that moment on. Tightening her fingers in his hair, she answered him with a kiss and soon found herself once again tasting Heaven. 

***

   When the morning sun was starting to meet the sky, they had risen. She had taken their clothes and bedding and washed them in the nearby stream. When she’d come back, they tidied up their tent giving the clothes and fabrics a chance to dry. Once clothed, they made the travel up to her family home. Only a bit aways, they came in sight fingers threaded together. At the sight, her mother who had been standing outside smiled. 

“Hello Gael. Xaen.” She blushed and found herself unable to speak but he spoke strongly, kindly. 

“Good morning Ms. Aoura.” 

“Have you fared well?” 

“Indeed.” She eyed her flushed face and smiled deeper. 

“Let’s get you two inside. Surely, you must be hungry.” 

“Thank you.” He led them inside. She found his sisters at the stove as they made breakfast. 

“Gael!” Finally, pink creeped into his cheeks as his mother came to them. 

“How have things been?” 

“We’ve not seen them for two days. How do you think they’ve been Yerin?” His father answered gruffly, eying how close he had pulled her against his side. 

“I still must ask. He is my baby after all!” 

“Who stands before you is not a child.” His fingers tightened against her hip. 

“Father,”

“I take it you two have consummated.” 

“Garuyn, stop embarrassing the poor boy. Can you not tell they have consummated by the way they touch?” Chided by his grandmother, he showed a smile. 

“I want not to embarrass him. I want to hear him say it as a man.” Back stiff, he swallowed and looked at him straight on. 

“Yes. We have consummated our union.” 

“Good. Very good.” 

“Come and sit you two. Please.” Her mother said gently as she placed plates onto the table. She pulled him away from his father’s intense gaze and slowly they sat. She grimaced, an action not unnoticed by her mother. 

“Xaen, eat. I will braid your hair.” She nodded and glanced at Gael who held out a spoon. Smiling, she took the spoon into her mouth and sighed as the food it held warmed her heart. Soon, the nourishing touch of her mother’s fingers in her hair soothed her. 

“Xaen,” She ate but listened as her mother continued quietly. 

“When you return, I will give you some salt to put in your bath. Soak in it for a while. It should help with the tenderness.” The language of her people sounded so sweet. 

“…You can tell?” 

“The pain on your face is clear.” 

“He hasn’t hurt me…” 

“On the contrary, he’s expressed what only lies within his heart and spirit.” She peeked at him as he ate and paused her spoon. 

“Mother…” 

“Yes darling?” 

“I have found myself filled with greed. How can I want so much of him so quickly? I do not understand.” Her mother’s fingers stopped braiding and pulled her back against her. 

“That my love is but a normal reaction. It’s healthy to want of your husband. Do you think it abnormal?” 

“I find I am not satisfied until I have completely exhausted myself…Always the yearning persists. I wonder if consummating was a wise thing.” Her mother laughed against her. 

“Now you know why we kept you two separated. What exists between you now is a very powerful force. It is a higher form of your love expressed.” Her fingers began to braid again. 

“Rest my daughter. Rest.” She smiled as she began to eat again and soon finished. As her mother finished braiding her hair, she leaned back against her and she embraced her. 

“Gael, we are preparing a home for you.” They looked at his uncle who had come to sit beside his father. 

“We must hurry. We only have five days to finish it.” His father spoke, crossing his arms. 

“Father…Uncle…I do not want you to be responsible for something that falls upon me.” 

“Oh?” His uncle looked his way, eyebrow lifted. 

“It is my duty to build a dwelling for my wife. No one else should interfere.”

“I see.” 

“How will you fund this abode?” His father asked, eyes on him. 

“Soon, I will start research at the Corporation. The monetary proceeds I receive should be enough.”

“Will you be living in the metropolis?” 

“That is something Xaen and I haven’t discussed.” 

“When the time is right you will. I know you two will make the right decision.” 

“I’m proud of him, your husband. How mature he is for such a young man.” Her father commented with a gentle smile. 

“Indeed.”  

***

Everything had been simple then. I watched my husband as he labored, building a home for the two of us. He worked so hard to ensure that it pleased me. And when it was finished, I couldn’t be more proud of him. He had honored me yet again. The days had turned into a month and it was then that I realized that I was with child. 

***

The breeze hit her face as she suddenly emptied her stomach, barely making it outside. Gripping the grass, she gasped for air, the bitter taste in her mouth making her cringe. What was this? Surely, she couldn’t be sick…Just when she thought she was done, she heaved again and this time it was worse than before. She groaned and clenched her eyes shut. This horrible feeling…She had to go see her mother. She lifted and washed her mouth out before heading out. 

Upon view of her mother, she ran until she hugged her. 

“Xaen! What…what are you doing here?” Her mother exclaimed in surprise. 

“Mama…I have to ask a question…” 

“S-sure.” 

“Let’s go inside.” 

***

“I haven’t bled for three weeks Mama. And not too long ago I vomited twice.” Her mother sat still and for the longest time just looked at her. Her eyes filled with tears and finally she spoke. 

“My child…you know not what this means?” 

“No…”

“You are with child.” 

“…with child…”

“Yes. A most beautiful creation of you and Gael.” She felt happiness wash over her and gripped her dress. 

“I must tell him.”

“When you feel you are ready.” 

***

That night when he’d come back from the Corporation, I decided to tell him. I’d been scared…why I could not assess. Surely, a child would bring such joy to him. Even so, I trembled as I told him. 

***

“Gael…I have something to share with you.”

“What may it be?”

“I…I’m…I’m with child.” For a moment he stood still and didn’t speak. Her heart beat up into her ears as she waited for him to respond. 

“S-say something…anything…” She pleaded, gripping her hands together. But they were forced apart as he crossed the room and pulled her to him in a tight hug. She felt wetness against her shoulder and lips press against the skin. 

“Words are not enough to express how happy I feel…” She lifted her arms to hug him tight. 

“Gael…”

“I must work harder now.” He said, voice full of tears as he pulled away. 

“You already work yourself too hard.” 

“You’re worth it. And now…in a few months time…we shall welcome a child.” She blushed prettily and nodded. 

“Xaen…look at me baby.” She lifted her eyes. 

“I will do what I must to provide for you. Both of you.” Joyous tears slid down her cheeks and she hugged him. 

“I know you will.” 

*** 

On the eve of his seventeenth birthday, everything changed. It was from that moment that nothing but agony awaited me. Everything would be ripped from us.

***

“Identify yourself.” 

“07-79329.”

“Identity confirmed. Welcome to the Corporation.” Grey and scarlet covered her body and she somehow managed to remain composed even though she was nervous. Everything had moved so fast and now she was standing in the lobby of one of the most prestigious institutions the world had ever seen. 

“Xaen.” Turning, she found Gael standing next to a man. Swallowing, she went towards them. 

“My, you’re just as beautiful as Choi tells me.” She felt a blush come to her face and bowed her head. 

“Thank you.”

“Please introduce yourself.” She looked up and stood straighter. 

“I am Xaen Choi. I came to visit Gael.” 

“Ah, have you witnessed him conducting research?” 

“Yes.” 

“What are your impressions?” 

“His ability to recognize healthy and defective cells is almost abnormal.” 

“My, what high praises! What say you Gael?” He smiled some, the action striking against the otherwise sea of emotionlessness. 

“My wife is my biggest supporter. For that I am most grateful.” 

“Who sir might you be?” She asked, pausing as he took her hand in his. 

“I am Entui Malos, CEO and Chairman of Txeis Corporation.” She grew still and brought her eyes to Gael. 

“Your husband is quite gifted Xaen. I wanted to meet him personally as news of him spread through the ranks. And now, I’ve asked him to introduce me to you.” She glanced back at the man. 

“Have you need of me?” 

“Gael tells me you too are very gifted. His regard and opinion of you are high. Tell me, if you had a choice to make an impact in this world… would you?” She was still for a moment but finally she answered. 

“I would.”

“Txeis is more than just pharmaceuticals. Txeis is about global change and improvement. Should you accept, I’d like to enter you into a training program.”

“Sir…I can’t… I’m not-”

“Please consider Xaen. You know not what you are capable of until you apply yourself. I believe with the two of you… as well as with more young people on board… we can positively influence the world.” She took a shaky breath. 

“Please let me think about it.”

“Take as much time as you need.” 

***

I decided to take up the challenge. The lush green, clear skies and stars faded behind us as did the warmth and tenderness of my mother’s embrace. Gael and I left our old life behind and set our sights on the metropolis. There, together we surely could do wonderful things for the greater good. Surely, I would have a chance to live in my own shadow. 

“Xaen. It’s time for your journaling.” The tears had long since dried and I pulled myself to my feet. Within the empty pages, perhaps I could find solace in mind. Perhaps, with the ink, I would make myself feel whole again too. 

A soft pitter patter echoed in ripples and the soft voice of a woman was heard. The sudden darkness that had once covered his eyes lifted and he opened them to find his beloved sitting on the ground, red all around her. Body bare, her dreads fell down her back until they too met the liquid emanating from her. So red and brilliant, it seemed to scream. Tears slid down her cheeks silently.  

“Xaen,” She slowly turned her head and looked up at him, pain and aguish deep seated in her expression. 

“How much longer shall this go on? How much more will they take until I am nothing left?” Before he could reach her, she began to cry, loud piercing wails that penetrated his very soul. 

***

He shot up, sweat soaking his body. He gasped, gripping the furs beneath him. There, in his chest dwelled a pain. He felt his eyes water with tears. Xaen. He began to tremble. He remembered that night. That night they both had lost a part of them. Sitting there, he watched as his wife crumbled into pieces. She had become as dead. Even as he had gently lifted her into his arms and ran a bath. Even as he had tenderly bathed her, she remained still, her expression devoid of any feeling. It had been so many losses. So much pain. So much she wanted to escape. She had grieved…the tears she cried wafted across his nose and he shook with the force of it all these years later. 

He laid back against the furs, the tears that had formed sliding back into his hair. A deep seated anger rose up from his spirit. He stared into nothingness, fists tight. How they had violated her. They had tried to destroy her spirit through her body and mind. But Xaen wouldn’t bow. Even after it had been done over and over again. Still, though broken, she wouldn’t surrender. 

***

“Xaen wait!” Hands pushed against him. 

“Get out of my way Gael!” 

“I won’t let you do this!” She struggled against him but he only pulled her closer until she stopped fighting. 

“I can’t lose you Xaen.” A bitter laugh came from her. 

“But the children that have died in my womb are acceptable?” He eyed her incredulously as if she were crazy. 

“What are you saying?”

“You don’t know…what I’ve had to endure. How dare you be so selfish!” He shook her, bringing silence to her. 

“Stop it!” She blinked, tears having wet her cheeks. 

“Do you not think I have felt pain? Do you think I’ve not grieved and cried from the depth of my soul? You’ve forgotten that they were half of me.” At that, she turned her head, biting her lip. 

“If you must condemn me for being selfish then I will allow it. I refuse to lose the last thing I have left. You’re all I have and I will be damned if I let them take you away from me.” At last, she fell into his arms and cried, her small body shaking with tears. 

“Don’t you understand just what you are to me Xaen? You are my sun and my moon. Without you, I cease to exist. If you die, what becomes of me?” She didn’t speak but lifted her hands to grip his shirt. 

“I’ve kept in for your sake. I’ve pushed it away to be strong for you. But,” Gently, he lifted her face and their eyes met. 

“I want to destroy them. One by one until they are exterminated.” Her eyes grew wide. 

“G-Gael…”

“Even so, we are responsible for innocent lives. We cannot act out of emotion. It will get us killed.” She sighed. 

“Gael…I’m…I’m sorry I-” 

“Don’t apologize.”  

“This will be the last child of ours they will have.” 

“I agree.” 

***

The murmuring had grown louder and he couldn’t ignore it any longer. 

“Pak.” His partner turned to him. 

“What is the commotion about? Should we not be working?” Pak paled and swallowed thickly. 

“Gael…I think you should come see this.” 

“See what?” 

“X-Xaen…she’s…” At that, he immediately put down his lens. 

“Finish your sentence.” He demanded, looking him dead in the eye. 

“We’ll see soon. They want all of us to gather in the women’s quarters.” Another in his sector said with a shrug. He wasted no time as he briskly walked towards the quarters, a place he was forbidden to go during hours. He couldn’t ignore the feeling that something was not right. His legs carried him to a jog and he turned the corner to find a large crowd. Men and women alike had formed small groups, the chatter deafening. Eyes turned to him. 

“G-Gael…” The tone of voice. Sorrow. Pity. He tightly swallowed and came to the large window facing them. He searched the sea of naked bodies until his eyes settled on one. His heart began to thrash in his chest. It couldn’t be… 

“Xaen…” 

“She’s been selected Gael.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Completely bare, she stood, swaying as if in a daze. He turned stiffly, finding some of the men devouring her. 

“Attention! The selection process has been underway. Listed are the names of the woman chosen to aid in our quest for a healthier society.” The robotic voice began to read the names but only one shook him. Xaen Choi. They stood witness as the director of selection came into the room. He clutched his fists tight as he walked up to Xaen and grabbed her face. 

“You will save so many lives Xaen. Aren’t you happy?” She glared at him and yanked her face back. A hand lowered to grab her breast. 

“You are a most ideal specimen. Do well to take care of your body.” He felt his self control snap and turned on his heel. 

“Gael! Wait! You cannot enter!” Nostrils flared, he came into the room, eyes on only one man. 

“Gael Choi, remove yourself from the selection chamber!” Arms came to restrain him but he fought them. 

“Take your filthy hand off of my wife.” He hissed, anger radiating in his tone. The director sneered, hand having moved not. In spite, he gripped her tighter, forcing her to embed her nails in his wrist. 

“You are one lucky man indeed Gael Choi. Xaen’s body is very susceptible. Her ability to receive and process sperm is quite amazing. She is quite fertile.”  He pushed past the arms and punched him, sending him to the ground. Ripping off his lab coat, he wrapped it around her, covering her.

“I will not allow this. I forbid it.” He barked, rage bubbling up inside. 

“Gael Choi, contain yourself at once.” He glanced down at her. Her eyes were glassy and she stared at nothing in particular, mouth slightly ajar. They’d drugged her. 

“Xaen…we’re going home.” 

“You cannot leave. If you attempt to remove her we will call for security.” 

“Fuck you.” He growled, reaching down to lift her into his arms. 

“Let them go.” The director said, standing up. Blood dripped down his chin. Without another minute spared, he crossed through the doors and headed towards the exit. 

***

They had allowed him to leave that day but the next day, it seemed things had gotten worse. That day he had allowed his emotion to slip through a second time. 

***

It was quiet in the sector, only the occasional scrape of tools heard. He carefully put his latest project into a syringe before he paused to take some notes. He felt a sudden presence beside him. 

“Choi.” He paid the man little attention and kept writing. 

“Choi.” Nothing. 

“Answer me this for I am curious to know…what does she sound like when she comes?” That brought his pen to stop. Slowly, he brought his gaze to the man, one he couldn’t say he was familiar with. 

“What concern is it of yours?” He replied, voice flat. 

“None really. But, I’m so curious to know. I wonder does she sob or beg…Perhaps both….” He felt his chest grow tight. 

“I would encourage you to return to your sector. I have no time for foolishness.” He began to write again. 

“She has such a nice ass.” The man’s voice grew low until only he could hear the next statement, 

“I’d fuck her until she cried.” The pen slipped out of his head and instead he grabbed the work he’d sacrificed hours of his life for. He shoved the man against the wall, the needle a split second from his skin. He grew still. 

“Allow me to tell you about my newest project, a paralysis serum. I’ve spent many hours working on it but I believe it will be the most effective one to date. It’s quite simple really. It is to be injected directly into the bloodstream. Within two to five minutes, it will take effect. Loss of limb usage and nerve sensation will occur almost immediately. Since you are so curious and eager, perhaps you would be willing to try it.” The man paled, sweat starting to bead up on his forehead. 

“No… No I was not serious Gael! I was just messing around.” He smoothly inserted the needle into the man’s skin, so effortlessly that he didn’t feel a thing. 

“If you will, also allow me to be frank.” He leaned forward to press his lips against the man’s ear. 

“On the subject of my wife, I would advise you never to bring it or her up again. If by chance it does occur again, paralysis will be the least of your problems. I would have you disposed of before morning and no one would ever find or piece you back together again.” The man gripped his shoulders. Removing the needle, he pulled back from him. Placing the syringe back on the table, he picked up his pen and began to write as if nothing had ever happened. 

***

Little did that bastard know, she was so beautiful when ecstasy consumed her. His wife was very much aware of the power she held between her thighs. It was dangerous and the death that existed there was one he would willingly submit to. She had the ability to move the very earth with just a smile, the stars and the sea with her laughter. It was he that needed her. It was he who begged her. Time and time again, over and over he pleaded with her to drift even deeper within her. Such a privilege it was and it was one he didn’t take for granted. He sighed heavily, the familiar ache rising in his groin. When it came to Xaen…he couldn’t help himself. She always had been a touchy subject for him. Anyone who disrespected her or put her in harm’s way would live to regret it. Even still… even now… he would protect her. There had been a time when he could do nothing. The powerlessness making him bitter. He was no longer without power. This time, he would use it to the fullest. 

I had laid there in the same spot for three days. Refreshing my system with tears until even they dried up. The tears had done nothing to alleviate the ache in my chest.

“Xaen, you are required to eat.” The guard commanded, peering in at me. But I had no words to give her. I could smell the stench from my body but somehow the pain weighed far greater. 

“You took everything from me.” I instead replied, turning empty eyes onto the door. 

“Now you wish me to eat.” 

“Xaen,”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll eat. I’ll eat until I vomit. Then will you be satisfied?” 

“We will send for you a meal.” A bitter laugh escaped my throat. Xaen. What good will you do if you are like this? I froze. The voice of my husband traveled through the airwaves. I grew still, nibbling on her lips. Alas, in a circumstance like this, he would say something like that. Keep focused on the mission ahead. If you don’t eat, you have no energy. It was strange, to feel comforting waves flood my spirit. Gael…

Turning on my side, I closed my eyes. I wanted to remember the good..the laughter shared…the freedom we once had in a world where no freedom existed. 

***

“Mama!” Small hands reached out for her. She smiled and gently grabbed the hands. 

“What are you doing?” The little boy grinned, the spitting image of his father. 

“Papa took me for a ride.” 

“Ah, did you have fun?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. Are you hungry? Surely, you’ve been riding with Papa for a little while.” 

“I will eat.” She pulled the boy closer and he sighed against her breast. 

“I’ll make you something really good then.” 

“‘Kay Mama.” She kissed soft round cheeks and watched as he turned and soon disappeared within the tall grass. 

“He missed you.” Turning, she found Gael standing there against the veranda, arms crossed and a smile as big as jupiter on his face. 

“Did you take him by the sea?” The wind rustled his hair, the strands past his shoulders. 

“Yeah.” She looked back out to find their son playing with a small creature he’d discovered. 

“There’s so much yet for him to find. This world’s full of treasures.” Arms pulled her against a chest and lips pressed against her ear. 

“Xaen,” She smiled and caressed his cheek, lifting her eyes to meet his. 

“Yes dear husband?” 

“Do you think this will end?” Gliding her fingers across smooth skin, she sighed. 

“I can’t say. But-”

“Mama! Papa! Look!” They turned their gaze unto their son who held up a wild rabbit. 

“I found a bunny!” She laughed, feeling his chuckle from behind. 

“Let him go so he can find his way home Tarwyn.” 

“‘Kay Papa.” Soon, silence ensued. 

“You were saying?” He asked above her, arms tightening slightly. 

“I don’t know what the future holds. But, for you and our son, I’d fight to the death.” It was a while before he spoke again. 

“I feel the same. What we must do now is live in the present. Every moment counts.” 

“Agreed.” 

***

“You must choose to live not just for yourself but for those who treasure you most.”  The words of my dead husband lingered in my spirit for far too long. What happened after was still too fresh and I couldn’t be sure what life held… what purpose it served. Aside from revenge…earned and most certainly be paid in full. My heart had been ripped out and in its wake, a black hole lived in its place. Fingers gripped the sheets. Black holes…weren’t they curious things? 

***

Sweat formed on their skin but how they resembled art. Unable to be replicated, the love they made so tenderly in the morning sun was magnificent. Her fingers gripped the sheets and her teeth bit the pillows. Under his control, her body remained still, hips pressed against her. They writhed against her and she could do nothing but weep for him, her voice the morning dew. The way he came into her took her breath but soon he came to a gradual gait, allowing her to take him in, little by little. He groaned above her as his hands left her cheeks to slide upwards until they came to meet her breasts. She lifted, her back arched as a bow. Turning her head, she dared to look at him. She felt his fingers sift through her dreads as she drowned in his gaze. 

“Gael…” His other hand left her breast and wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against him. The humidity from the summer had produced even more sweat on their flesh, the stickiness nearly unbearable. Fingers intertwined with hers. 

“You are the most potent drug one can consume…” Even after all of this time, still a blush warmed her cheeks. She reached up to brush his lips. 

“I feel the same about you.” He kissed her fingertips. 

“Perhaps Tarwyn is awake now.” She laughed softly at the thought. 

“Have I been too vocal?” 

“I like it when you are vocal.” There again the heat blossomed. 

“Gael…” He grinned and playfully pressed her into the covers, bringing eruptive laughter from her belly. 

“You are a fool!” She said, tears in her eyes. 

“That I am.” He replied simply with a chuckle. She sighed as his body covered her and he laid his face against her hair. 

“Gael..” 

“Yeah baby?” She turned her head to glance up at him. 

“I want our son to have a sibling.” To her surprise, his cheeks grew red. But, his gaze was loving and strong. 

“If that is what you wish.” He replied with a soft smile. She reached up and slid fingers into his hair, the strands forming a veil around them. 

“Is that also your wish?” He leaned down and kissed her, stealing her breath. 

“It is a desire of my heart. I want to create many beautiful things with you Xaen.” She fisted his hair as he came into her again. Moaning against his lips, her eyes fluttered closed. He rolled his hips against her slowly, making her whimper. Tearing her mouth away from his, she sharply inhaled. Electricity charged throughout her body as the new position brought her agonizing pleasure. He rocked against her in a leisurely stride before suddenly his pace increased. She cried out, fingers gripping his chest as his mouth met hers again. He groaned against her, the sound reverberating in her spirit. She moaned in frustration and he stopped, panting. He disconnected from her but only for a moment. She turned flat on her stomach, fingers bunching up the sheets beneath her. He pressed against her, his body dwarfing hers. She smiled against the pillow. He gently lifted her dreads and laid them to fall across his back. He leaned down to press his lips against her cheek. Slowly, he lifted her hips slightly, holding them firmly against him. He entered her and she gasped, sensation flowing through her in waves. 

“G-G-Gael…” He answered with a groan and without hesitation thrust into her. The early sun filtered in through the window and bathed them with its light, intensifying with every breath. She tried to stifle herself against the pillow but he reprimanded her with a piercing stroke. She squirmed against him and he let her go intertwining their fingers. She pushed back against him as he pumped into her deeply, the force of him leaving her breathless. A searing white hot fire burned within her and threatened to set her ablaze. He sensed it and caressed her cheek, pulling her mouth to his. 

“Come for me baby.” He panted before their lips meshed. Instantly, she let the fire saturate her and soon the fire spread to consume him. With a groan, they both grew still. He pressed his face against her shoulder. A tired smile came to her lips. His lips kissed her shoulder as he laid to the side of her, lifting a leg to entrap her. She bit her lip, the feel of him still deep inside gratifying.

“I love you.” He spoke softly against her temple before nuzzling the apple of her cheek. She sighed as slumber beckoned her. 

“I love you too…Gael…” Those were last words she spoke before she drifted to sleep. 

***

Unbeknownst to me, those were the last words I spoke full of contentment and peace. For a few hours later, all hell broke loose. 

***

Footsteps trailed up onto the veranda. She was in the kitchen getting a head start on dinner. Outside, she heard the laughter of her husband and her son and smiled to herself. Cutting some meat, she set it aside and went to wash her hands. The creak of a door sounded. Turning, she stared right into the barrel of a gun. She froze and dropped the towel. A man dressed in grey and scarlet faced her. 

“I see you’ve enjoyed playing house.” She grew still as the laughter outside suddenly stopped. She looked towards the door. They’d been found. Gripping her fingers together, she slowly retrieved the towel from the floor. 

“You certainly took your time in arresting us.”

“Proceed outside.” 

“If I decline?” 

“I will force you.” She stood tall and slowly walked past the man. Her eyes met her husband’s the minute they had reached outside. Tarwyn clutched to him, unease written all over his face. 

“Papa,” He held him tightly, jaw tight. 

“Tarwyn, go play in the fields for a little while. Mama and I have some business we have to address.” The boy shook his head and pressed his face against his leg. 

“I don’t want to…I don’t like these men Papa.” 

“Sweetheart, everything will be alright. Go on now. We won’t be long.” She sent soothing waves towards him and it radiated in her voice. He looked unsure but slowly let the pants leg of his father go.

“Papa you’ll get me when you’re done?” Gael smiled and lifted him into his arms. 

“I will get you when we are finished.” He kissed him on the forehead before putting him down. Without another moment, Tarwyn set off and soon disappeared beyond the tall grasses. 

“Cute kid.” 

“Don’t.” She hissed, looking up at the man who still had the gun pointed her way. 

“You are quite the mother Xaen. It’s a pity you couldn’t have more children.” 

“You bastard.“ Gael interjected, anger visible on his face. 

“Did you think we wouldn’t find you? It was only a matter of time.” 

“We knew that.” She replied, locking eyes with the man who stood closest to her husband.

“Even though you knew you would be caught, you still did it. Was it was worth it?”

“Worth every last minute.” 

“I presume then that you know why we are here.”

“Indeed.”

“Whatever is deemed our punishment we will accept. But, I implore you to leave the boy out of it.” Gael spoke, eyes meeting the man strongly. 

“I’m afraid we cannot do that. He, just like you, is considered a criminal.”

“He’s done nothing wrong.” She countered, fists growing tight.

“He should have been disposed of. His crime is in direct violation of that mandate.” 

“You are fools then to punish an innocent child.” The man grew closer until he pressed the barrel of the gun against her cheek. 

“Your rebellion is high treason.” 

“I don’t give a damn about your treason.” The man pulled the gun away from her cheek and aimed it at Gael.

“It doesn’t matter much if you do. The result will be the same.” He pulled the trigger, striking Gael in the arm.

“Gael!” She shrieked, running towards him. Fingers grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her backwards. 

“ I won’t waste anymore time. Farga, go get the child.” 

“NO!” Tears welled up in her eyes as the man disappeared into the grasses. 

“Gael….” His face had grown pale but his expression remained cool. Blood trickled down his arm. 

“I’m all right.” 

“No…. you’re not. You’re bleeding…” 

“I’m okay baby. Don’t worry.” She turned angry eyes onto the man who held her. 

“You pig.” Fingers gripped her jaw, forcing her to shut her mouth. 

“Your mouth is pretty big. You might get yourself into trouble.” She glared at him, hatred burning deep within her. 

“Mama! Papa!” The man let her go and she ran towards him, pulling him against her. 

“Tarwyn…” 

“Mama, why is Papa hurt?” She pressed her cheek against the top of his head, fingers sliding into his hair. 

“Tarwyn, listen to mama okay? You have to be cooperative. Don’t fight them. Do you understand?” 

“Mama…” She pulled back to look at him. Teary eyes mirrored hers and she gently wiped them from his eyes. 

“You have to be strong. Show no fear.” His small chin trembled. She kissed him and held him tightly. 

“I love you so much…my sweet darling…”  As she pulled away from him, his eyes grew resistant. Her heart throbbed. How he resembled Gael, his spirit unwavering just like his father. She turned around, meeting eyes with the man who pointed the gun at her, aiming right between her eyes. 

“I’ll do whatever you want if it ensures that my son is set free.” The gun wavered not. 

“Anything?” She felt nausea spread through her stomach. 

“Yes.” The man slowly grinned, glancing to the left of her, setting eyes on one man whose eyes burned with fire. 

“In front of him?” She didn’t need to turn to know who he meant. She gripped her fingers tightly together. 

“Only Tarwyn needs to leave. Have some ounce of respect for the child.” 

“Farga,” Her son cried out as the man grabbed him. 

“Tarwyn! Don’t resist! It’ll be over soon don’t worry!” 

“Mama no! NO!” Tears fell down her cheeks but she forced herself to look away. 

“Gael…” Turning, she slowly approached him. His throat had grown tight and his cheeks and neck crimson from rage. But yet he still remained so composed. She knelt in front of him, lifting shaky fingers to his face. 

“I’m…I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t apologize sweetheart. You’ve wronged me not.” She tore off a piece of her dress and made a tourniquet for his wound. 

“I will do what I must to make sure you live. Even if that means being willingly violated…” She pressed her forehead against his and his free arm came to wrap around her, pulling her closer. 

“Xaen…” 

“I love you Gael. I love you so much.” The anger had been briefly quelled only by the tears that welled up in his eyes. Without another word, she slowly pressed her lips against his. He groaned into her mouth as he deepened the kiss. She slid her hands upward to slide fingers into his hair, gripping tightly. She welcomed his touch as his hand slid down to grip her cheek. Her body yearned for him and she wanted him to know it. Pulling her lips away from his, she took his hand and placed it in between her legs, fingers tightly gripping his wrist. 

“I will always belong only to you. Now and forevermore.” A strangled moan rose from his throat. 

“Xaen, we haven’t all day.” She slowly pulled away from him, fingers once nestled close against her now upon the ground. Her heart twisted but she faced the man with an unshakable aura. 

“I want your word that you will release my husband and spare the child.” 

“I can’t promise that he won’t be thrown in jail but the kid I can work something out for.” She swallowed thickly and slowly lifted the dress from her body. It fell to the ground and she stood still as his eyes hungrily glided downward. 

“You were a lucky man Choi Gael. Damn.” 

“Enough talk. Let’s hurry.” The man chuckled as he grew nearer. She tightened her fists as he came to roughly grab a breast. 

“I understand why you remained ideal for the Corporation. Your body is one that is superior in all aspects.” She turned her head as he leaned down to take her into his mouth. 

“Tell me Gael, did you suckle her here until she melted?” 

“Fuck you.” He barked, eyes grown dark with anger. The man laughed against her. 

“My my, what a way to honor your wife’s sacrifice.” He grabbed her and threw her to the ground. She gripped the dust beneath her fingers as he hastily shoved his pants down. Fingers gripped her hair and yanked her head back, forcing her to lock eyes with her husband. 

“Cry out to him.” She squeezed her eyes shut as he pressed himself against her. His scent made her want to vomit. 

“I’ve wanted a taste of you since that day at the selection. Now, I finally get to have you.” She gasped, turning to look at him. 

“You…” He lifted her leg, pressing her knee into the dirt as he towered over her. Without another word he pressed himself against her, teasing her flesh. She felt herself retch and he pulled her head back, pain radiating throughout her temples. 

“Look at him…the bastard that once threatened to kill me.” She forced her eyes open and they settled on him. The calm had expired and he shook with visible outrage, fingers flexed. 

“Do you wish you could rip me from limb to limb?” Her husband spoke not, the color of murderous red surrounding him. 

“Watch as I destroy her.” Before he came into her, she watched in horror as their child came from the house. 

“Mama!” 

“NO! STAY BACK!” She screamed, now starting to fight the man above her. 

“Hey hey hey, don’t make a scene.” She grew still, bringing a chuckle from him. 

“Good girl…” She turned and tangled her fingers in his hair. Leaned up as much as she could, she kissed him. Repulsion flowed into her mouth and she wasted no time disconnecting, taking his bottom lip in between her teeth. With all her might, she bit down until blood stained her chin. He screamed and punched her, recoiling back from her. Grabbing his gun, she ignored the million dots that blinded her and ran towards her child. Before she could get to him, the man who had run after him pulled out a device and shot a blast of light at him. Eyes wide she could do nothing but watch as a large black abyss formed at his torso. He glanced down before locking eyes with her. 

“Mama! Help me!” She pointed the gun at the man who’d attacked him. 

“Reverse it! Now!” 

“It cannot be done.” 

“Xaen!” She turned towards her husband’s voice. That bastard came towards her, blood soaking his uniform. 

“You bitch!” She fired the weapon and it struck him, killing him instantly. Training it back onto the man, she felt herself break into pieces. 

“Tarwyn!” 

“Mama! Papa! Help!” The both of them could do nothing but watch as the abyss spread, pulling him into it.

“HELP ME!” The pleas of her child went unanswered and soon, the screams stopped as well. A bloodcurdling cry of anguish pierced the atmosphere and she pressed her face against the dirt, tears flowing. 

“My baby…” Her body trembled and she sobbed, pain flowing through her. 

“Soon, reinforcements will be here.” She slowly lifted to her feet, her body swaying in the breeze. Lifting the gun in her hand she aimed it at the man. 

“You killed my son…have you no regret?” 

“Xaen Choi, should you harm him, we will kill your husband where he stands.” Eyes turned onto two others who held Gael, pinning his arms behind him. She assessed the pain that dwelled on his face and without a moment wasted, shot the man nearest to his right. He dropped like a blade of grass and the other man let go of him. Gael used the opportunity to grab the small blazer he kept tucked against his side. He swiftly sliced the other man’s major vein, watching as he fell to the ground. She turned to find the other man gone. Dropping the gun, she stared at the spot where once her life had stood, her flesh and blood… her entire world. Even with a weapon such as this, still she had been powerless. Still, she could do nothing. Arms slid around her and she felt her legs give out. Even with his injury, she knew he no longer felt it. Not while a greater suffering took over his heart.

“He’s gone….He’s gone Gael…” The tears that touched her shoulder screamed, the anguish plenty. 

“Xaen…baby…” 

“NO! THEY KILLED HIM! THEY TOOK MY BABY FROM ME!” She screamed, fresh hot tears meeting cold cheeks. He didn’t respond, instead hugging her to him so tight it had begun to hurt. He began to weep loudly, pressing his face against her. She stared blankly into the sky, hearing nothing but cries of her husband.

“Choi Gael and Choi Xaen.” Neither one of them moved or said a word. 

“For the crimes of high treason, by order of Txeis Corporation you are hereby sentenced to death.” A bitter laugh surfaced from behind her and his breath was full of fire as it hushed against her. 

“It’s a shame you came all the way here for that.” He lifted his gaze and found that they were surrounded, guns and electrocution blazers at the ready. 

“We’re already dead.” His flat desolate reply. 

“Get up.” One of them demanded. His arms withdrew from her and he stood, blood soaking through the tourniquet she’d made. She slowly pulled herself up, fingers tightly gripping the gun in her hand. 

“Drop the weapon.” 

“Why would I do that?” She asked, eyes settling on the man in an empty stare. Lifting the gun, she aimed and fired, striking one. A sharp pain ripped her apart and she screamed, dropping the weapon. Her body convulsed and her gaze grew blurry. 

“If you do not cooperate, we will have no choice.” They closed in on Gael, the only one left standing. 

“If either one of you move, I’ll shoot you!” She groaned, trying to lift. Gunshots rang out and she froze. Turning, she found Gael slowly walking towards her, feet unsteady. Blood seeped through his shirt and finally, he fell to his knees. 

“GAEL!” Hair covered his face but he reached out for her.

“Xaen…” She crawled towards him but soon he fell face first against the dirt. 

“NO! GAEL NO!” She finally got to him and wrapped her arms around him. A pool of blood grew underneath him and the skin beneath her fingertips had suddenly grown cool. 

“You can’t have him…I won’t let you take him.” She lifted him slightly, grabbing his face. Sweat beaded against his hairline and she pushed the hair back from his face and with shaky fingers, she pressed them against his cheek. 

“Look at me…Gael… please my beloved…” But his eyes remained closed, the slow soft moan of a dying man instead replied. 

“YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM! I WON’T LET YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME!” Hands came to pull her, prying her away from him. Fingers grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her backwards. 

“We will take you to be sentenced Choi Xaen of Zor.” She fought them, crying from the deaths of her soul. 

“GAEL….GAEL! NO…NO..…GET OFF OF ME…GAEL!” Even as fists came to strike her and feet came to kick her, she still reached out for him. Finally, she stopped fighting, allowing them to drag her away, the pain a dull throb. Tears fell across dirty cheeks and as they lifted her by her hair and threw her into a transport vehicle, she felt a part of herself die. Alone in the dark, body bruised and bloodied, she wept until even the tears refused to come. 

***

They forced me to cut my hair as it symbolized the free world… a world they prohibited. Every trace of who I had been was intentionally erased and when it surfaced, they made sure to keep a syringe handy. All of it was the same as before… only realer. Rawer. The brainwashing had taken the lives of so many women. The drugs coursing through their veins a way to cope with the pain and suffering. For me, it kept me strong. It kept me focused. Oftentimes, I wanted it all to end. But, then I remembered my life was not my own. I owed it to my son. I owed it to my beloved. The breath of the Creator still lived in my lungs. I owed it to Him. I placed feet on cold ground and got up. 

“Guard.” 

“What is it?” 

“I will eat.” I knew the food would be drugged but my body needed nourishment. 

“Very well.” After a while of waiting, the door opened and a delicious meal slid towards me. I blinked. That wasn’t regularly what met me. I glanced towards the door. What were they up to? Grabbing the fork, I parted through the tender meat until it was in pieces. A small white piece of parchment stuck out in one of the shreds. Picking it up, I read the small words elegantly scribbled. 

Soon, you shall be free. 

I tossed the plate aside and went to the door, glancing through the small window to find no one but the guard standing there. How had this slipped through detection? Glancing back towards the meal, I swallowed tightly. There was an informant within the walls of the facility. Someone I hoped I met soon. With their alliance, not only would I be able to escape… but I’d try to take as many of the women willing to go as I could. Then and only then would Txeis truly have something to fear. Then, they would be defeated. 

The desert winds swirled around him and he pulled the fabric around his face higher. Behind him were women and children, all of them hungry and tired. Soon, they would need to rest. 

“Faie.” His eyes turned onto Avery, who came up to him. 

“The checkpoint is up ahead.”

“Will the women and children be able to withstand?” He asked, glancing at them. 

“I think they will last. Food and rest await them.”

“Where are the men?” 

“They’ve reached the location.” He gave a short nod and turned to the crowd who had gathered, some with crying children. 

“I know you are tired and desire rest. Should you preserve, your husbands and brothers await you at the checkpoint. I need you all to work with me as a unit.” He spoke, scanning for any injured. 

“Faie, we trust you…”

“We’ll carry on.” Voices rallied together confidently.

“Is there anyone who is injured?” From the large mass of people, he couldn’t assess correctly.

“My grandmother!” A young girl yelled, slowly pulling her grandmother through the crowd. The old woman looked fatigued and could barely walk. He stepped forward and reached for her hand. 

“T-thank you Faie…” She smiled at him, her breath heavy with exertion. 

“It is nothing dear Elder.” He said gently, pulling her up to sit behind him. The young girl was small enough to fit in front of him. 

“Let’s move! Dusk grows quickly.” Soon, everyone started to move. He revved up his cylis.

“Hold on.”  Arms wrapped tightly around him. He took off, Avery and the others not far behind. 

***

Cheers greeted them as they entered into the checkpoint and he slowed his engine until it glided smoothly to a stop. 

“Are you alright?” He asked the older woman behind him. 

“Yes…yes thank you. Tierry,” He set the child down on the ground and she went to her grandmother. 

“Now we can find Argis and Tol.” She said softly, watching as he helped her down. 

“Should you feel any ailments, please come to me.” He said, gripping her hand. The old woman smiled and to his surprise kissed his forehead. 

“You are very kind. Thank you.” A blush entered his cheeks and he nodded his head as they walked away from him. 

“Faie.” The commander of the region eyed him. 

“Zachiel.” The large man shook his hand. 

“We’ve been awaiting you. Glad your group made it.”

“Same.” 

“Since we’re safe and sound, why won’t we have a drink?” He pulled his mask down and nod. 

“Sounds good.” 

***

“Have you heard?” In the firelight, he watched Zachiel intently. 

“Heard what?”

“Txeis is about to send parties to destroy these refuges. If we don’t do something soon, there will be no where safe to go. I won’t allow them to kill so many innocent people. This is a good place and I’m proud to call it home. I would do anything to protect it.” He watched as he lifted the glass to his mouth. The spirit of strength and protection dwelled inside of him. 

“I understand completely. It gives life meaning when we have something to protect.” 

“Don’t you have something to protect Faie?” His glass lowered. 

“I did. Once.” 

“Was she your wife?” 

“Yes.” 

“What happened to her?” 

“They viciously murdered my son before my eyes and dragged her away as if she were an animal. She serves a life sentence in the metropolis.” Zachiel paled as he continued. 

“Our crime was escaping the control they had over our lives. And for that, we had to pay.” 

“That’s bullshit. No one deserves that Faie.” Slowly, he lifted his glass. 

“Indeed.” 

“So, are you going to free your wife? She’s still alive right?” 

“Yes.”

“This gives us even more reason to fight them. All of the men here who have lost their women, mothers and sisters… we have to fight.” 

“What of you Zachiel?” 

“They killed my mother when I was fourteen. I too once had a love but they imprisoned her and got rid of her family.” 

“I see.” 

“Those bastards will pay for what they’ve done.” 

“We will make right what has been done unto us by any means necessary.” 

***

The days swirled together and I had lost track of time. But, how pleasant the wind felt on my skin, the warmth from the sun shining upon me. I kept the note tucked against my breast, its words reigniting the small ounce of hope that once had burned up inside my heart. 

“Xaen,” I turned slowly to meet an unfamiliar face. 

“Who are you?” The woman began to speak in a dialect belonging to my home village, one only a few knew. 

“The resistance has started outside the metropolis. The men are coming to free us. Txeis will fall.” 

“Are you the one who sent me the letter?” The woman nodded. 

“I will contact you again soon.” Before I knew it, she had darted away and I stood alone once again. I had scanned her appearance and stored it in my memory. The language I once thought had died on my tongue brought me comfort. I wondered if I could trust her. The informant had finally shown herself and from the sound of it, she wasn’t alone. The resistance she called it. I wondered what it entailed. Turning back to face the sun, I closed my eyes. I would see about her and this so called resistance. 

***

The summer sun blazed down on him, bringing his body to a sweat. He pulled the hair back from his forehead into a ponytail. Sighing, he placed his visor onto his eyes. Grabbing the welding tool he kneeled underneath his cylis. After a while of repair, he lifted and stretched, the heat drying the oil on his hands, arms and face. 

“Faie.” He reached for a towel and turned. Zachiel. 

“Is there a problem?” 

“I found her.” Blinking he leaned back against the cylis seat. 

“Found whom?” 

“Xaen.” At the mention of her name, he slowly stood straight, his eyes intent on the man. 

“I don’t recall giving you any names.” 

“I have moles inside the prison. One of them made contact with her and told me her name. She is your wife isn’t she?” 

“What was the purpose for the contact?” 

“Jesyra is gathering together a group of women who will oppose the prison system from the inside. I am planning to gather a group of men from the outside who will be willing to retrieve their women.” He swallowed tightly. 

“You understand that what you are attempting is a suicide mission?” 

“It’s one I am willing to take.” 

“You also understand that you will be putting these people in direct risk of being annihilated.” 

“A representative of mine will lead the operation. I will not abandon my checkpoint.” 

“Very good.”

“You will go to her won’t you? This is the last opportunity we have to fight for our livelihoods. While you still can, take Xaen and go.”  His heart throbbed painfully in his chest. 

“I cannot be that selfish. The lives of those who reside in the checkpoints are just as important.” Zachiel pat his shoulder. 

“I understand. The choice is yours. Should you want to go, they are gathering in the public square tonight to go over a plan.” 

“Acknowledged.” As the man left him, he sighed again. Perhaps when he was younger, he would have jumped at the opportunity. Now, being wiser, he understood that there were so many ways the decision could go wrong. He appreciated the passion that dwelled in these people. But, little did Zachiel know…Xaen would not have wanted him to waste his life solely for her. She would have encouraged him to do the right thing and put others above himself. That was the kind of woman she was. Looking up to the sky, he swallowed. He wished all the men who volunteered the best. He knew many of them would not return. As for him, he would free Xaen himself. No one could but him. Glancing towards the direction Zachiel went, the breeze rustled his heated skin. He’d watch him closely and see if he was worth trusting. Whether he knew it or not… there within was a rising up of rage, fire and vengeance and sooner or later he would act upon all three. With or without him. 

***

Silence enclosed around me and my eyes adjusted to the darkness of my cell. Body still and straight, my mind raced with so many thoughts. A small sound shot through the quiet and I sat up, eyes trained towards the door. The sound of something sliding through the nearly invisible crack underneath the door caught my attention and soon, the silence resumed. I sat for a moment longer before I slowly got out of bed. Lightly stepping on my feet I picked up the paper. Going towards the window, I read it, starlight sifting through the thin parchment. 

In the garden of sorrows shall you find your chance to be free. 

Tonight unity awaits. 

My hands started to tremble and my throat had suddenly grown dry. Glancing towards the door, I stood. I would go. Perhaps an alliance could be formed and we could have a chance to escape. I touched the wall and felt no life beyond. The guards surely couldn’t stay put all night now could they? Wrapping my fingers around the bars to the door, I blew out a breath. Slowly, the strength within me enabled me to become like water and I slipped through the narrow bars. I willed my feet to remain light and I commanded my body heat to be undetectable. 

Swiftly and silently, I cut around the corner. Empty. I smirked to myself. Fools. Didn’t they know it was dangerous leaving women unattended? Oh the things we could do. I jolted down the hall until I heard a gathering of voices. The sound of rushing water grew nearer and soon I slowed, coming face to face with a small group of women. They stopped talking and turned to greet me. 

“Welcome.” I didn’t speak as I looked through the small cluster of women.

“Xaen,” My eyes met ones that I had seen once before. The same woman. She smiled, hands clasped together. 

“How do you know my name?”

“You’re quite the talk around here. Everyone knows who you are.” 

“Is that so?”

“Wife to the esteemed Dr. Gael Choi, you yourself were a former doctor and director of Txeis Medicinal Department. The findings of you and your husband have brought many advancements to this world.” I chose not to reply. 

“It is wonderful that you chose to attend this humble meeting.” 

“Why have you gathered here tonight? What are you planning?” I asked, looking her in the eyes.

“We plan an uprising. It is time that Txeis be eradicated. They’ve done nothing but bring grief, shame, misery and death to all who has been associated with it. It is time we dictate for ourselves the life we wish to live.” Her words were so passionate.

“Who are you?” 

“I am Jesyra, born in the countryside of the humble beautiful people called Zor like you Xaen. My entire family was murdered by Txeis. Used as laboratory rats, they were taken down one by one. A year or two ago, I stumbled upon this man by the name of Zachiel. He is the commander of one of the refugee checkpoints on the outskirts of the metropolis. He also suffered at the hands of this Corporation and wanted to take it down. Just as I am on the inside, he is gathering men to come for you, their sisters, wives, aunts and grandmothers. Together, we will be a force to be reckoned with.” My heart ached for the man I’d never again see.  the tall sweet grasses and the warmth of the sun from my childhood. Even so, it hurt for what this woman must have endured.

“You knew I’m Zorian?” 

“The language Txeis tried to eradicate still lives on your tongue. The way you operate, you couldn’t be any other but a daughter of Zor.” I nodded, my emotions carefully controlled.

“It is to be understood that what you embark on will cost many of you your lives.” I spoke up, coming closer. 

“We willingly accept.” I sighed and glanced around at the other women. Age mattered not for some of them were elders. They ranged in ethnicity and intelligence but one thing that united us all was the desire to bring freedom. 

“What are your names?” I asked, looking at them.

“My name is Alia…this is my sister Chaye.” One woman spoke, gently grabbing another woman on her arm.

“What is your story?” I asked, glancing between the two of them. Chaye’s face grew sour and Alia scowled deeply. 

“They had selected our mother and once they were done using her, they disposed of her. They blamed it on her being defective and destroyed our family. We are the last surviving members.” An older woman came from behind them.

“I am Mnhanna. They used my husband as an experiment for a new test using acid. Least to say I soon became a widow. I want to live to see this evil brought down.” She spoke, gaze and voice fierce. The others introduced themselves one by one. Then Jesyra spoke. 

“It is imperative that we develop a plan. I am not sure how many more times we will have the opportunity to meet like this.” 

“Would it be possible to reprogram the droids who guard the cells?” I threw the idea out and Alia took it.

“It’s very possible. I would need direct contact with them in order to do so.” 

“If droids can be shut down, the first level of security will be clear.” I looked at Jesyra. 

“What we need is a complete system shut down. If we can divert their attention towards the collapse of power, we can begin to make our escape.” 

“Agreed. ” 

“Is there any way for you to contact your men? If they are to come as you say, they need to know of our move.”

“I can make contact with them. For now let this meeting be between us. Lips must remain closed… no matter what.” The group of women agreed and soon they all departed, finding their way back to their respective cells. I however stood alone. Inhaling the night air, I sighed. It was time to let the end begin.

“Xaen?” There in the deep tall grass she sat, legs crossed. Sunlight adorned her smooth  brown skin and the long full dreads caressed her back until they became one with the earth. At the sound of his voice, she turned, blinking. His heart ached and he desperately desired to touch her. 

    “Yes? What concerns you?” A small dab of paint pressed against her cheek, the startling white color enhancing her skin with intensity. 

    “Nothing baby. I just wondered what you were up to.” 

    “I am preparing myself.” He smiled and finally allowed himself to join her in the grasses. 

    “Preparing for what?” She looked up at him as he gently skimmed a small shoulder. 

    “War.” His fingers paused. 

    “War?” 

    “Gael, sit…” At once his legs dropped and he eyed her, gaze growing intense as he looked at her reflection in a small handheld mirror. 

    “It is a tradition of my people…to always be prepared.” She reached down and dipped her fingers into the white paste. 

    “We are a warrior people. Much like yours. It runs in our blood…we are one and the same.” She turned to him and gently smeared the paste across his cheek. 

    “Xaen…” She said nothing but began to spread the color across her skin until her entire face was covered. 

    “There will come a time when I will paint my face again…and in that time I will fight to the death for you and for the unborn child that lives in my womb.” She looked at herself in the mirror. 

    “As your husband I will protect you Xaen. Whatever the cost.” She turned to face him and smiled, caressing the paint stained cheek of his. 

    “I believe and trust you dear husband.” He smiled in return and lifted her palm to his lips. 

    “For now the only war that exists presently is in my stomach.” He grinned against her and enclosed his arms around her bare body. 

    “Ah, you are hungry hm? Poor little one.” She pouted. 

    “Don’t jest. I need to eat….baby is hungry too.” He laughed and slid hands to her growing belly. 

    “By all means then we should get inside.” She kissed him playfully and lifted to run towards their abode. 

    “Turn this into a game must you?” Laughter traveled through his veins like liquid and he caught her by the waist, lifting her into his arms as he carried her into the house.  

    “For once could you not let me get far?” Smirking, he pressed his forehead against hers. 

    “I’ll never allow that.”

***

    Sweat soaked him from head to toe. Fingers tightly gripping the furs beneath him, he swallowed hard. It had been a little while since he’d dreamt of her. With his focus on the refugee points and the people therein, his energy had been stretched and pulled every which way. Pushing wet hair back from his face, he took a deep breath. He remembered that day as if it had happened yesterday. The last tendrils of the old way had permeated in the air before their move to the unsuspecting hell that awaited them. It was a moment of peace. Now the war his young wife had spoken of had come into fruition. Now, he was preparing for a war unlike anything he’d ever imagined. Slowly he stood and went to his face bowl, looking at himself in the mirror. The youth was gone from his face, instead hard grit looked back. He was not old by any means but long gone were the days of the flowers and water and sun. 

    “Faie.” Sighing deeply, he turned to face Avery who peeked in through the flap. 

    “What is it?” At his bare body, Avery dropped his eyes. 

    “We need you to come to the square. Txeis has made the first attack.” His blood grew cold. A month had passed since the revolt had started. The group of men had left the checkpoint, intent on retrieving their women. However, as he had suspected it didn’t go as planned. They had barely infiltrated the prison. Though a good admirable fight had ensued, more than half of the men were captured and labelled as treasonous traitors. A public trial had been broadcast and there his comrades had all been executed. Though they were pressured to reveal their whereabouts, not one surrendered. The measly few that had escaped became reclusive and talk of a rounding spree began to strike fear in the hearts of the people.

    “Where was the camp?”

    “In Daawil.” He cursed lowly under his breath and went to grab his pants. Daawil was far enough away to possibly relocate the people to another checkpoint but the move itself was risky. Txeis had been silent long enough to give an illusion of peace and comfortability. Those who had believed in it were nothing but fools. 

    “Where is Zachiel?” 

     “He’s on his way.” He tightened his jaw.

    “When he gets here, tell him I need to speak with him. For now, we need to gather the camp together. Daawil is still quite close. We need to explore our options.”

    “We need to be gathering as many arms as we can. They are sure to be on their way here.” 

    “Agreed. But only Zachiel can command this group, not you or I.” Avery ran shaky fingers through his hair. 

    “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Those fuckers waste no time.” 

    “Do not fret Av. When they come, we will be ready for them.” The man sighed and smirked lightly, only something he would do in a situation like this. 

    “Now I’m glad I didn’t go…my life and my effort would have been wasted.” He responded not. 

    “Now I have more time to think on how I’m going to get Ty back.”

    “Indeed.” 

    “Let me ask you a question.”

    “Anything.” 

    “Are you prepared to die?” He faced him and looked him dead in the eye. 

    “Only when I have claimed Xaen as my own again will I allow death to take me. I will not die here. ” 

    “Yeah..”

    “And you? Will you allow this place to be your resting place?” Avery scoffed, crossing his arms. 

    “Hell no. I got a wife that needs me. She’ll be the only one worthy to take my life.” He nodded, a small smirk coming to his face. Avery had grown in the years they’d been acquainted. He was very proud of him for remaining true. 

    “There has been no one to put them in their place.” 

    “Yeah. It’s high fucking time.”

    “Zachiel and I will meet and come up with a plan.”

    “Whatever you decide, I’ll back you. It’s your call.” He pat his shoulder. 

    “Let’s go.” The ground where he stood would not cry out with the blood of innocent people any longer. Not while he still had breath in his lungs.

***

    Eyelids fluttered closed as the syringe slid past the barrier of skin. The fluid within traveled up into my bloodstream and I felt tears well up in my eyes as light passed over my lids. Yet again I was being put under this torture. A voice ran across my senses. 

    “Xaen, I am going to ask you a series of questions. I want you to answer honestly.” The tears that formed slid down my cheeks but when my eyes opened, fire blazed within the depths. 

    “Your repetition will not work on me. I have already told you I don’t know.”

    “You’ve never seen or heard of a woman called Jesrya?” My body trembled as the drug hit me with full force and I gasped, my cheeks soon growing wet. 

    “N-no. I’ve never heard of her.”

    “Did you ever hear of a resistance set to happen within the prison walls?” 

    “No.” The voice belonged to a man I’d grown to despise. He leaned forward, breath fanning hot against my cheek. 

    “I have sources that tell me they located you talking with these fugitives. Alia and Chaye Forrester. Mnhanna Graiyel. Jesyra Adama of Zor. Have you no knowledge of them?” The liquidity soon turned to warm tendrils that traveled up and down the nerves in my body. I knew they would turn to flame. 

    “I have no knowledge.” The man studied my every move, every twitch, every breath. 

    “Very well. I trust then that no reaction shall come to you when you view their execution.” Before I could utter anything else, the flame shot across my skin and I screamed as it seemed the very skin that covered me began to melt. 

    “Take her back to her cell.” I was powerless to the pain and it enveloped me until I felt black washed over me.

***

    “Xaen.” Saliva dripped down the side of my mouth and my eyes couldn’t see anything but darkness. 

    “Xaen.” My fingers twitched against my pillow and I forced my eyes shut. That voice… no…surely in my current state I was being subject to delusions.

    “Will you surrender?” So warm, the voice of my past traveled across my skin like the morning sun and I shuddered, trying to reply…Delusion or not…I wanted…needed him. My reply came in the form of low muffled groans. Inside I screamed for him, at war with my body. 

    “You’re not the Xaen I know. Has she died? Where has she gone?”I’m here…Gael…I’m here. I wanted to scream.Tears fell fresh down my cheeks. Lifting my eyes, I grew still as my vision finally returned. He stood so close and yet so far away from me, looking just as he always had…his hair once again long and rebellious. 

    “G-Gael….” He smiled in the soft loving way I remembered. 

    “Ah, there you are my love.” His gaze grew sad as he looked over me. 

    “It seems you’ve allowed them to get inside your head and control you…finally.” He sighed heavily. 

    “Will you surrender?” My fingers reached out, body paralyzed. At least my fingers could move… if only I could get to him… touch him… 

    “Remember you are a woman of Zor. Fight for your life and fight for your freedom.” My fingers froze as suddenly he was gone. Unsuccessful, my now tired fingers fell against the sheets and I groaned. Without warning I wept. Alia. Chaye. Jesrya…even elder Sofia and Mnhanna…All this blood soon to spill.  I gripped the sheets and forced myself to lift. Gael…my love…his spirit was still so connected to mine…even after all this time. He was right as usual. When the time came, I would wage war. All these women whose blood would be sacrificed…I never forget them.… And I would recompense their sacrifice. At all costs.

***

    “They’ve been killed. All of them.” 

    “I heard.”

    “I just left one of the checkpoints not too long after they were attacked. Had I stayed I would have been offed.”

    “That was their objective.” Finally, Zachiel had returned from an alliance meeting with two other checkpoints in the surrounding region. Once he had returned, he had immediately sought after him. With the news given from Avery and now this revelation… it seemed that doom was impending. 

    “My men were quiet until the end. They kept silent.” The weary man went to a small cabinet and poured some alcohol into two glasses. His hand shook dangerously.

    “I’m sure you’ve also heard about what happened to the women.” He safely retrieved the the extended glass and brought it to his lips, inhaling the contents. 

    “Indeed.”

    “I was certain that it would work… we’d planned this for months.”

    “Do you regret the decision?” 

    “I don’t know…”

    “The sacrifice of your men is to be respected greatly Zachiel. They will be remembered for eternity.”

    “Yeah…”

    “With all due respect, however, you have no time to grieve right now. We are faced with a more serious issue.”

    “I am aware of that.” The large man in front of him seemed to crumble little by little. 

    “I don’t know what to do Faie. A part of me wants to take my people and run. But another part of me wants to fight.” 

    “What do you think is best for your people?” Zachiel sighed. 

    “Run. Get them somewhere safe.” 

    “Alright then. Let’s do it.” 

    “Okay.”

    “I’ll get my team together and we’ll go from there. If we are going to do this, we need to be fast.” 

    “My sentiment exactly. Grab your guys Faie. It’s gonna be a long night.” 

    “Acknowledged.”As he left out of the tent, he exhaled deeply. He’d made up his mind. Once the camp was moved to a safe place, he’d go get Xaen. It was high time he made a move. 

*** 

    “Jesyra Adama of Zor, have you anything to say?” The woman stood in front of a crowd, face set in stone. Blood had dried on her lip and the skin surrounding her eye was black and bruised. But her eyes glowed with fire. At the sight, my chest swelled with the strangest pride. In this moment, death looking her dead in the eyes, she was unafraid. Her face might as well have been painted, a warrior in battle. Lips cracked, she opened her mouth. 

    “Don’t give up the fight. We are stronger than these devils.” In our sweet language her voice was strong and unwavering. 

    “Do you admit your crimes?”

    “The only crime I’ve committed is fighting for my right to live.”

    “Do you accept your penalty which is death?” She kept her eyes straight ahead, looking at nothing in particular. 

    “If dying for my freedom is the cost, I shall gladly accept.” The crowd was still. 

    “This woman has committed high treason. Therefore, she and all other coconspirators are sentenced to death.” Without warning, a blazer struck her through the chest, bringing a war cry from her, the last she’d ever make. 

    “Long live Zor! Long live free-” With one clean cut, her head was severed from her body and members of the crows screamed and moaned. Chills traveled throughout my entire body and tears welled up in my eyes.  Her blood screamed for vengeance the minute it hit the ground and  mine itched to give it to her. My heart sank into my feet. Pain traveled throughout my body. Txeis had to pay for this. They had to be disposed of like the animals they were. As Alia and Chaye Forrester were being brought up next, my knees threatened to give out. I would be strong. For them. I had to be.

The night was still, the wind silent. Black, not even the moon decided to reveal itself. A perfect night to relocate. Standing, a bright fire lit across his features. 

    “Avery.” Smoking a cigarette, he looked up. 

    “Go wake the men.” Flicking the bud towards the ground, he nod, face stern. 

    “You’ll get the women and children?”

    “Affirmative.”

    “Alright then. Let’s get this shit started.”

    “Meet back here.” 

    “Roger.”  He inhaled deeply, glancing up towards the clear sky, dotted with millions of tiny white lights. Showtime. Treading lightly, he entered into the women’s quarters where it was still, unsuspecting women and children drawn up for the night. Looking around, he scanned his first entry. The elder Jogia and her granddaughter Uel. Slipping into the large tent, he pulled out a small light and flashed it upon the young girl’s face. At first she didn’t stir. But after a while of persistence, she began to wake, an irritable scowl on her face. Opening her eyes, she set them on him. Before she spoke, he lifted his finger to his mouth to silence her. She lifted up and pulled back the cover, careful not to awaken her grandmother. Coming closer, confusion gathered in her brow. 

    “Faie? What’re you doing here?” 

    “We are moving.”

    “Now?” She whispered rubbing her eyes and quietly yawning. 

    “Yes. In order for you, your grandmother and all the others to be safe, we must relocate.” 

    “To where?”

    “I need you to wake your grandmother. Can you do that for me?” She nodded, swallowing tightly. He could sense the fear emanating from her and gently placed his hand on her head. 

    “I won’t let anything happen to you. Wake your grandmother and meet me in the square. Okay?” She nodded again, this time slightly more at ease. He withdrew his hand and quickly exit their tent, urgent to get to the next one. Before long he had awakened the women and children and gathered them in the square. 

    “Faie, where are we to go?” 

    “Where are the men? Will we go together?”

    “Need we bring anything with us?” He cleared his throat and looked upon them all. 

    “I’m sure you have already heard that Txeis is destroying checkpoints and refuges. Thousands of people are being murdered and before long all of the refuges will be decimated.” Gasps of surprise rippled through the crowd. 

    “As your leader, I will do everything in my power to ensure that you, your children and your men will survive.” A plethora of emotion stared back at him and it made his chest tighten. Fear. Anger. Hopelessness. Strength. 

    “We will be moving far away from here, near Chanthy.” 

    “Chanthy is so far away!”

    “We can’t walk that far!” He tightened his lips. 

    “Avery will be arriving with your men shortly. Those that are of Zachiel’s camp will embark with us. If you decide you do not want to go, you can stay here. Doing so will result in your death.” At that, he found the consistent murmuring quieted. 

    “We have a long way to go so I encourage you to bring things of practical use. Should you have weapons, I encourage those as well. Pack light as heavy loads will slow you down.” 

    “Faie…” Turning eyes onto a woman, his heart grew heavy. She carried child, her belly bulbous. 

    “What of me? Surely, I cannot get that far.” Reaching for her hand, he squeezed gently. 

    “Should you tire, you may ride with any one of the leaders. Both of your lives are of upmost importance.” Turning to the crowd one last time, he spoke, voice strong but warm. 

    “There is no weakness within you. Put your faith in me and the others. Together, we will succeed.” Pulling his mask up back over his mouth, he turned to see Avery oft in the distance with a large number of bodies. 

    “Make haste! Your men are approaching!”  Scrambling feet and dust sounded behind him. Closer they came. Reaching down to grip the handle of his blazer, he swallowed thickly. Where was Zachiel? 

    “Faie!” Eyes met Avery and a multitude of men. 

    “We’re ready to go.”      

    “Have you located Zachiel?” Avery frowned. 

    “No, I thought you’d have seen him.” 

    “We haven’t the time to wait for him. Time grows short.” 

    “Wait a minute Faie. We can’t just leave them.” A man spoke up. 

    “I will wait but not for long. My first priority is to your safety.” In the night, the wind was unusually chilling, cutting straight through to the bone. He could feel it. The chill of death itself was on the horizon.

    “We have to move. I don’t want to leave him but the lives of our people take precedence.” Just as members of the women’s quarters started to return, satchels and bags wrapped around them, children tied to some of their their backs, a glow appeared in the distance. 

    “Faie,” He narrowed his eyes until he could make our the figure of a large man. Good. There he was. Right in the nick of time. 

    “Faie, we have to go. Now.” Zachiel’s words were hard as they approached. 

    “Move out!” He bellowed, hopping on his cylis. Revving up the engine, he began to lead the massive group into the night, dust and sand swirling around them. 

*** 

    Sweat dripped down my forehead and a breath wooshed out of me. The muscles in my arms were tight as I dipped, nose touching the ground before lifting. All this time, I would have had to be a fool not to keep in shape. Those days where I could do nothing but stare at the wall…days when my body permit me to move…I did. All this time I had been running over and over in my mind my escape. But with the women I once called comrades now dead, I realized I needed to make my exit more swiftly than before. Down…slow. Just before she’d met her demise, I’d had Alia hand me a layout of the prison, Chaye following up with the guard points and security stations. Their parting gift to me. And now was the time to repay them.

***

    “Gael, do you tire?” Her voice was like that of a bluebird, sweet and light to the ear. 

    “No, I am fine.” Smiling, she intertwined their fingers. 

    “It is a long walk to my village. Something you never quite get used to.” 

    “It bothers me not. I find pleasure in going home with you.” Cheeks flushed, she looked away out toward the long lush grass that swayed to and fro in the breeze. How long it had been since she’d been home. He knew she was anxious to see her mother and her father. Things had changed. He knew she thought the metropolis was engrained in her now. But she hadn’t lost herself. She’d only grown more beautiful, more Zorian. Upon reaching the dark houses, a smile spread across her face. 

    “Welcome home Xaen.” Glancing up at him, she allowed a giggle to escape from her belly, girlish and giddy. 

    “Thank you dear husband.” 

***

    His hands were starting to cramp up but he tightened them on the handles of his cylis. Behind him, his camp pushed on, fatigue having made them weary. The night had grown obsidian, giving them the coverage they needed. He scanned the crowd for any signs of pain or extreme fatigue. More than anything, they looked ready to rest. Rest he would give them… soon. For now, they still had some ground to cover. 

*** 

    Things however were not as they once were upon entry. She immediately could tell something was off the minute they approached her family home. 

    “Mama?” There was no answer. The giddy smile started to falter. 

    “Baba?” 

    “Who goes there?” The face of an old weathered man appeared and upon sight, tears came to the milky eyes. 

    “Xaen?” 

    “Yes Baba… it’s me.” Hands reached out to caress her face. 

    “How beautiful you are. Where is Gael?” 

    “Here.” He spoke, respectfully at a distance behind her. He smiled and reached for him too. 

    “Come. Welcome home my son.” His heart swelled and yet the tiniest ounce of heartbreak overcame him. 

    “How have you been?” 

    “Come inside and I shall tell you.” They entered and came to sit at a nearby table. The home wasn’t warm or lively any longer, instead it had grown cold and lifeless. Barely existing. 

    “Where’s Mama?” Hands grabbed hers and squeezed tight. 

    “She was murdered by Corporation soldiers.” Xaen grew still. 

    “M-murdered?”

    “She was shot down on her way to the market.” Beneath his hands, hers started to shake. 

    “For what reason?” 

    “None other than she was of the free world and that she was old. That satisfied them.”

    “No… n-not Txeis. There surely had to be a reason. Surely, she rebelled against them and they had no choice.” At that, her father withdrew his hands from her and for the longest time he stared at her. 

    “Mr. Otan…”

    “She’s changed.” She looked as if he had stabbed her, hurt deep in her features.

    “Baba…I am still your daughter. I am still of Zor.” 

    “The daughter I know would not take sides with the murderer. Her warrior spirit would rise and it would rebel.” 

    “If the Corporation was so bad, why did you willingly indoctrinate us both in its ways? To you, Txeis could do no wrong. To you, Txeis was the future.” 

    “I was once a fool, blind to the truth. Just as you are now.” 

    “Baba!” Swallowing hard, he stood. 

    “Xaen.” She refused to look at him, locking eyes with her father. 

    “She was killed three years ago. In that time, I have heard much about your successes. The fulfilling research you and Gael have done for the modernized world. A part of me mourns as well as rejoices. How much blood you must have spilt.”

    “Baba that’s enough! I am no murderer!”  The feeling of heartbreak had grown into a full blown ache that traveled across the spans of his chest. 

    “Xaen, we should go.” He countered, touching her shoulder. 

    “No! This is my home and I will stay!”

    “Dear child,” Her father came to stand to the side of her and gently picked up her dreads, fisting them. 

    “You look so much like your mother. Her strength lives in you. I hope that it is awakened soon. For her sake and for mine.” Tears began to well up in her eyes and without warning, they slid down brown cheeks. 

    “I am nothing more than an old withered man now. My hope is that you never let our legacy, our people, our way die from within you Xaen.” He looked at him and the intensity made him grow still. 

    “You are her alpha and as such I expect you to breathe life into her.  Don’t let her lose herself.” His throat closed up and he couldn’t speak, only nodding. 

    “Daughter,” Leaning down, he whispered something into her ear and she bit her lip, tears growing. Kissing her forehead, he let go of her and left them in the great room, now bare save a couple baskets. 

    “Xaen…” She started to weep, hunched over. Face pressed against the table, her hair sprawled across the table. Slowly approaching, he with the softest care, lifted a few strands and to his lips he pressed a kiss. 

***

    Chanthy was a vast city, beautiful and rugged.Unlike that of Saraic, it wasn’t a designated refuge or checkpoint for the rebels. Chanthy was a metropolis and it was ripe with prosperity. It had the amazing ability to disappear underground and here, his people would be able to make a new life for themselves without fear that Txeis would find them. It was the perfect hidden treasure. Upon entering the epicenter, he breathed a sigh of relief. He’d given several people rides, their legs not being able to handle much more exertion and by now they were ready to collaspe. 

    “Good job you guys. We made it.” Zachiel grinned tiredly. 

    “Indeed. I am glad everyone was able to make it. Your camp and mine.”

    “Agreed. Men, take your women and set up camp. Faie, Avery…you’re welcome to join me in my tent for a drink when you get settled.” He clapped his back and their camps dispersed. 

    “How are you feeling Av?” He asked, turning to face him. 

    “Tired as hell but glad we made it. Those bastards will never find us here. Good call Faie.” He didn’t reply, only a whisper of a grin on his lips. 

    “I’m going to bed. See you tomorrow.”

    “Rest well.” As the men went to find their women and children, he sat back against his cylis. Damn. Everything hurt. He definitely needed a soak but that would come later. Much later when he’d retrieved his woman. Glancing up, the sky began to twinkle, stars still visible. He’d get as much sleep as he could. He had another long journey ahead of him. 

***

    It was quiet. No one moved much less breathed. Perhaps it was grief. Too cowardly to fight for their own freedom, they found their voice in the women martyred. But, I was quiet for an entirely different reason. It was to mask the utter rage bubbling inside of me. The desire to break, smash and destroy everything around me. Plotting was best done in the quiet and I was silent as a mouse. 

    “Xaen, it’s time to be evaluated.” Silly games they played. I stood, slipping a thin needle I’d acquired through Jesyra underneath my tongue. Filled with a Zorian poison, it was my only line of defense should things get out of hand. As the door opened, I lifted my hands to be cuffed, surprising the guards. 

    “We’re going to have to report your good behavior to the warden. You improve daily.” Still, nothing said as they tugged me along. Funny I hadn’t seen Dr. Patel in a while. Interesting. They led me down the long narrow hall until I stood in front of a crisp white door. 

    “Should things be satisfactory, you will be returned to your cell and commence your writing time.” Nodding curtly, I entered what had become a new hell. Only for a little while I reminded myself. Only for a little while.

The smell of collard greens drifted across her nose and she inhaled deeply. Off in the distance, the sun was starting to set, a multitude of colors blending into one. 

    “Xaen!” Turning her head, she looked up to see her mother standing there, a big smile on her chestnut brown face. 

    “Come! Gael has set the table already. We are waiting on you.” Eagerly, she inched towards the house, the warm summer breeze tickling her strands. It lushed across her bare shoulders, picking up the tinkle of her bracelets that adorned her ankles. Stepping inside the small cozy abode, she set eyes on her love. His hair was starting to grow again, his short strands singing their freedom to the wind. Tall and strong, he helped her mother sit down and went over to the pot, scooping out freshly fragrant greens and yam. Placing it on the table for her, he inched back to the pot, holding another plate. 

    “Aren’t you going to eat?” She asked, standing by the doorway. Instead of answering, he reached out his hand, waiting for her touch. Biting her lip, she took his fingers and he pulled her closer to him. Leaning down, he whispered something into her ear. Playfully, she slapped him on the chest, drawing a mischievous grin from him. 

    “Gael… behave. We’re in front of my parents.” 

    “Acknowledged my love.” Winking at her, he began to fix a plate for her father. 

    “We did right with them don’t you think Aoura?” Her father’s observant eyes settled on the two of them and Gael straightened up. 

    “I think so. Xaen’s blossomed most beautifully.” She felt her cheeks grow warm and reached up to play with a few of her dreads. 

    “Yes. She was so beautiful.” Hands paused. Was?

    “We must hurry and eat our meal dear. Soon, it’ll be time for us to leave them.”

    “Gael is almost finished. Can’t we wait until they sit?” Her father shook his head and began to eat. 

    “This is a meal they should share together.”

    “Baba, we wish to eat with you!” Turning, she found Gael still at the pot but he had stopped putting food on the plate. 

    “Gael, hurry up.” He moved not, arm bent over a plate. 

    “Gael…” He turned around, his face serious and ominous. 

    “It’s time we eat together Xaen.”

    “What are you talking about?” He pointed toward the table where her parents sat. 

    “Look for yourself beloved.” She followed his body language and her parents sat unmoving. 

    “Mama? Baba?” 

    “Xaen.” Suddenly, they shattered into a million pieces like glass, bringing a scream from her. 

    “No!” 

*** 

    “Xaen.” My eyes shot open. Still, I could feel the heartbeat of another living being. I wasn’t alone.

    “Who’s there?” 

    “I will explain later. We have to go.” Lifting up slightly, I could make out a figure in the darkness. Male. 

    “Identify yourself.” 

    “Xaen….” 

    “Who are you and how do you know my name?” The man was silent and grew closer in the darkness. My eyes had not yet adjusted to the room but as soon as I felt a hand on my arm I grabbed him and flipped him on his back. Pinning him down, I reached for the needle I kept close and pressed it against his neck. 

    “If you do not answer me I will kill you.” My voice was soft but deadly. Eyes fully adjusted, I could make out the jawline, nose and lips of the man. 

    “You’ve never changed. Still the same after all these years.” I froze, pausing from killing him. That voice….. it… it couldn’t be… 

    “W-who…who are y-you?”

    “We don’t have time Xaen. I’ll explain later.” This man…. sounded so much like Gael…even his touch electrified me. He grabbed my hand before I could do anything and pressed it against the floor, now hovering over me. 

    “We must go. If you desire to protest, I will put you over my shoulder.” I spoke not, heart beating wildly in my chest. He got up and helped me stand. 

    “Good. Let’s go.” Pulling me against him, he pushed against the glass wall. Without saying a word, he jumped, forcing the wall to assume the proper position. In a nanosecond, we landed on a cylis and sped away silently, all in a layer of invisibility. My mind and my heart raced. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to think. The only thing I could feel was the fresh air as it hit my face and I opened my mouth to breath in lungfuls. So good, I stuck out my tongue to taste it. Fingers gripped him around the waist and for the briefest second, I couldn’t help but feel as if I’d done this before… a long long time ago. In this way, Gael and I had escaped from enslavement and ran for our lives…  How was it possible that in this same way this unknown man had emancipated me? I closed my mouth and tilted my head back, letting the wind I’d forgotten about brush my neck. Many many questions I had for this stranger. For now, I felt a smile come to my face. I was free. Finally. 

*** 

    They rode into Chanthy, morning settling in on the rising city. Already, the epicenter was filled with people, setting up their hubs, shops and tents. They looked on as they glided to a smooth stop. Not a surprise that Avery was up and about, in the middle of town so early. Possibly to get his nicotine fix, he turned eyes onto him and knew him.

    “You went and got her huh? Good man.” He smiled and shut off the machine. 

    “Welcome back Faie.” 

    “It’s good to be back…now with what I lost.” She sat still and watched him, scanning his every move. 

    “I will ask again who you are.” She asked, eyes intense behind her visor. 

    “The man you married.” He replied simply and reached up to take off his helmet.

    “Turn around that I may view you stranger.” He did without a second thought and he smirked a bit. 

    “I know what you’re up to. Analyzing every vibration of my voice and sudden movement. Quite the cyborg you are.” He came closer and reached up to pull the helmet off of her head. Their eyes met and her hands began to shake. 

    “Y-you…you can’t be.” 

    “Why can’t I be?” 

    “I watched my husband be murdered in cold blood by Txeis pigs. You have to be a counterfeit.”

    “I didn’t die.” He spoke softly. 

    “No…I don’t believe you…I know what I saw.” 

    “I saw them take you away in handcuffs.” He said gripping the seat behind her. 

    “I saw them beat you within an inch of your life.” He looked straight into her eyes and she couldn’t look away. 

    “I still feel the warmth between your thighs as you cradled my fingers close to you; giving me one last bit of yourself before that bastard was to violate you. Don’t you remember Xaen?” She pushed him away from her with a hard shove. 

    “That’s enough!” Getting off of his cylis, she took in her surroundings. 

    “Where is this place? What do you intend to do with me?” 

    “Follow me.” He led her to his tent and without a word, he entered leaving her outside. She slid her hand through the opening of the tent and came in slowly, taking in everything. It was fairly big in size and had ample space, given to him by Zachiel as a token of thanks.

    “This is where you live?” He washed his face in the basin.     

    “Yes.” 

    “How do you have so many of my husband’s memories? Whomever programmed you did an impeccable job..” He pulled his ponytail apart, letting his hair cascade to his shoulders. She watched him carefully as he turned around. 

    “You think me a drone…I don’t know whether to laugh or feel insulted.” He said with a boyish grin, crossing his arms.  She, however, was far from humored and she reached for the nearest weapon she could find, a handgun. Aiming it at him, she held it nice and steady. Ready to fire. 

    “You haven’t answered my questions.  My patience is running out.” His grin left and a seriousness invaded. 

    “Ask to your heart’s content.” 

    “Why have you brought me here?”

    “I brought you here to give you freedom.”

    “Why?”

    “You deserve life and you deserve freedom.” 

    “Who are you?” He answered without a breath. 

    “I am your husband.” She fired right above his head, moving it downwards towards his heart. 

    “Don’t lie to me.” He took a step towards her. Closer she allowed him to come until he wrapped fingers around the barrel, pushing it directly against his chest. 

    “I dare not lie to you. But I must admit, after all this time…it pleases me to see that you’re still my spunky little string bean.” That seemed to unravel her and she let go of the weapon, yanking her hand back as if it was on fire.

    “There are things between us that no drone would ever remember or have access to.” He lifted teary eyes to her. They mirrored hers. 

    “I didn’t die that day. I witnessed everything. The murder of our son. Your arrest. All of it. It tormented me for 10 years. 10 long fucking years I had to play dead while you wasted away in prison.” Her throat grew thick with unshed tears.     

    “I’m far from a drone. And you’re far from any hurt harm or danger now that I’ve gotten to you.”  She reached her shaking hand out to finally touch him…grazing his cheek. He sighed into her palm. 

    “G-Gael?” Her soft spoken voice uttered his name… a name he had once tried to forget. He pulled her against him. 

    “Yes beloved. It’s me.” He whispered against her neck. She felt her legs give out and he drifted to the floor with her. 

    “Gael…Gael…” She cried against him and he held her tightly. Over 10 years has passed but now that he had her back, he was never going to let her go again. 

***

    The morning came as a blur and after so long of lying still, I awakened, memories of my capture playing over and over again in my head. A male body laid next to me, arms tight around his torso. Away from me. Turning, I pressed my head against a pillow and indulged in the sight of him. There were a strand of grey here and there in otherwise midnight hair. Skin once soft and smooth now looked rough. His hands now reminded me of Baba’s. What remained the same was the expression on his face as he slept. His face was relaxed, calm and peaceful. I wanted to reach up and touch him, his brow, his cheek…his lips. But I couldn’t bring myself to. His heat tempted me to come near but away I stayed.

     My mind tangled in knots. I couldn’t believe he was really alive…really here. All the years I’d mourned him…Turning away from him, I took in our surroundings. In true Gael fashion, everything was orderly and in its proper place. Hustle and bustle happened nearby and I knew sooner or later, he would wake. He’d always been an early riser. Turning back towards him I curled up into a ball, fingers tight around myself. I’d try to sleep a little while longer, my body begged for rest. Closing my eyes, I fell back asleep. 

*** 

    Standing at the basin, he dipped his razor into the hot water. Staring at himself in the mirror, he began to shave his five o’clock shadow. The sunlight had awakened him not too long ago. Xaen still slept, something he hoped she got more of. After so many years of imprisonment, he wanted her to regain the agency to dictate her own decisions. Gliding the razor smoothly down his skin, he glanced at her from the mirror. She had grown more comfortable this time in slumber, smooth brown skin, slender limbs and soft woman pressed against him. For the longest, he couldn’t do anything but look at her. Watching her chest rise and fall, she affirmed with each breath that she was real. 

    She was so beautiful. She was still so small but her arms appeared even more sculpted and legs toned than before. Her once full dreadlocks were no more and she kept her hair closely shaved. She no longer looked innocent and wide-eyed, a hard grit translated in her face like stone. But to him she had grown even more beautiful away from him. Neither one of them resembled their younger selves and that was more than all right with him. After living in the past for so long, they would need to carve out just exactly how they intended to spend the future. 

    Finishing up, he wiped his face now clean shaven. Pulling his hair up and away from him, he secured it with a holder. Stepping away, he began to dress. He heard her stir behind him just as he’d pulled up his pants. Turning, he found her wide awake, staring holes into him. 

    “Good morning.” 

    “Good morning…” He fastened his pants and reached for a shirt. 

    “How was your rest?” She kept her gaze level, observing his every move. 

    “It was fine.”

    “Good.”

    “Will you leave me?” Turning fully, he let her gaze travel down the length of him. The absence away had made her hungry for him. He reciprocated greatly. 

    “No. I want you to accompany me today.” She stretched, lifting hands above her head.

    “Fine.” Lifting, she yawned. 

    “There you may wash and groom as needed.” He pointed behind her to the small vanity. 

    “Thank you.”

    “When you are ready, I’ll be outside.” 

    “Acknowledged.” Lifting the flap, he exit the tent breath deeply leaving him. He planned to show her around Chanthy, what of it he had come to know. His camp would be especially interested to know who she was so it was proper to introduce her to them. He glanced to his right and found Avery coming towards him.

    “Morning Faie.”

    “Good morning.”

    “How are you feeling now that you’ve got your wife?”

    “Words cannot explain.”

    “I’m sure.” 

    “Now, you need to retrieve Tyvni.” 

    “Yeah that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

    “Roger.”

    “Why does he call you a name that does not belong to you?” Both of them turned to find her standing behind them, clothed in that dirty dingy garment of imprisonment. Avery met her eyes. 

    “You must be Xaen.”

    “I am.”

    “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Avery.” He outstretched his hand but she merely looked at it. 

    “Who are you to him?”

    “A comrade and a friend.” 

    “Hm.” She took him in and he remained relaxed, not put off by her behavior. 

    “I’m no threat Xaen. Ask your husband about me.” 

    “I shall in due time.” 

    “I’m glad you’re a free woman. It’s good to have you on the team. Hopefully in a while, you’ll warm up to me.”

    “Hm.” 

    “I’ll get going then. Catch up with our camp. Let me know when you’ll be back Faie.”

    “Acknowledged.” He slid hands into his pockets and traveled away from them. 

    “Xaen-”

    “Who is Faie?” 

    “He is me.”

    “I do not compute.”

    “I’ll explain at a later date.”  He came closer until he was a breath’s length away. 

    “For now, let’s go get you some clothes.” She swallowed and looked down. 

    “Okay.” 

*** 

    My heart threatened to come out of my chest. I tried not to make it appear too obvious but perhaps I was failing. Everything was so confusing and going so fast. I hadn’t anticipated this in my newfound freedom. My once dead husband was alive and had been the whole time. I had mourned the loss of him for so long and now that I had him so suddenly, I did not know how to react. But even so, his gaze still commanded me. He still owned every particle in my body and I wanted to submit. 

    “Do you like this?” Looking up, I swallowed thickly. He held up a dress, one that resembled what I used to wear when we were younger. Smiling to myself, I reached out to touch it. 

    “It’s lovely.” 

    “Do you want to try it on?” Biting my lip, I fingered the material. It was strange to feel anything other than rough cotton against my skin. You’re no longer enslaved. Reclaim yourself. 

    “Yes.”

    “Pick what you like Xaen. It does not matter the price.” Bowing my head, I took the dress he’d offered and went into a small dressing area. Stripping down, I gingerly stepped into the dress. Staring at myself in the mirror, I felt tears come to my eyes. The material was soft and white, cascading down around my body. Short sleeves adorned my shoulders and arms. Lastly, a plunging neckline traveled down my chest. There I am. Licking my lips, I took a shaky breath. Turning, I part the curtain and peeked out, looking for Gael. There. Back turned, his hands in his pockets. Quietly approaching him, I cleared my throat. Turning, he grew still. The way he looked at me made me bite my lips and I twirled some. 

    “This will be okay?” I asked, fingers balled into fists. 

    “It will more than suffice. You’re a vision of beauty Xaen.” Feeling my cheeks grow warm, I nod and began to turn around. His hand grabbed mine, stopping me. 

    “Pick what you want.”

    “I don’t want to abuse your kindness Gael.”

    “Stop it.” He gripped my hand tighter. 

    “You’re a free woman now. You must dress like it as well as act like it.” I bit the inside of my cheek.

    “Very well.”  I pulled my hand away from him and went to browse the selection of clothing they had. Selecting more items, I went into the area again. After a while, I returned and handed them to him. Watching as he went to pay, I reached up to scratch my head.     “Xaen,” 

    “Yes..”

    “Select what you will wear now. I’ll also take you to get some shoes.” 

    “O-okay.” I quickly grabbed an outfit, one that was comfortable and slipped into it. Returning, he smiled as he viewed me. 

    “Much better.”

    “Thank you.”

    “Let’s go. There’s so much I want to show you.” 

    “Lead the way.” 

*** 

    “What do you do here?” They walked down a sandy road, the sky above them deceivingly blue. The dry desert air was hard for her to handle and she coughed a bit. He’d have to get her a turban. She eyed every person, observing their communication, the way they moved, what they did. 

    “I lead a group of refugees.”

    “Oh so this is a refugee camp.” Eying the women and small children, she pursed her lips. 

    “No… this is Chanthy.” 

    “Chanthy?” She asked, turning those big beautiful brown eyes up towards him. 

    “Yes.”

    “What is that? Where is it located?” 

    “It is the invisible city.”

    “Invisible?” Her eyebrows skyrocketed. 

    “Yes. It’s been undetectable for centuries. Brilliantly masterminded with a field that acts upon the will of the inhabitants.” 

    “How is that possible?” He chuckled at all of her questions. 

    “You forget the technology we helped create? How far in advance it was.” Looking out at the people, he smiled softly.

    “Now, it has evolved into something greater than we could ever imagine.”  She was quiet for a long while. 

    “Did we create it truly or did we just help it to progress?”

    “The latter.”

    “Another lie we were fed.”

    “Indeed.” Scowling, she crossed her arms as they continued on, passing several strands of people, women and children…brothers and uncles. 

    “How did you come to lead these people?” 

    “It’s a long story…” Their conversation was cut short as an elderly man came towards them.

    “Miss, Mister…would you like to invest in one of these?” She looked down to find him holding a strange fruit.

    “No.” She spoke coldly but he reached into his satchel and pressed a coin into his hand. 

    “I will take one please.”

    “Here you are young man.”

    “Thank you.” Showing a toothless smile, the man went on away from them onto other unsuspecting customers. 

    “Gael,”

    “This is pretty good. It reminds me of the fruits your mother used to grow in her garden.” She grew quiet, eying it before he put it into his satchel. 

    “You quiver with rage. Bitterness and anger ebb from you.” He observed quietly, glancing down at her. 

    “It does not from you?” 

    “While I desire to eradicate Txeis for harming the lives of thousands…I have not forgotten how to treat people.”

    “You also weren’t kept in a cell chained like an animal for 10 years either.” 

    “No. But I lived in a prison of my own, a hell even death could not release me from.” That didn’t gather a response from her but that was okay. She’d been through hell. So had he. Soon, the epicenter came into view and at once the hawking and loud hustle and bustle began. Slipping an arm around her waist, he pulled her to his side as they entered, pushing through throngs of people. Being high noon, they had walked into the busiest time of day. 

    “FAIE! OVER HERE!” Zachiel. making it through the suffocating amount of people, they came over to where members of their camps lounged, drinking coffee and eating sweets. Upon sight of her, Zachiel stood. 

    “Who is this Faie?”

    “This is my wife.” His eyes grew big as he took her in. She kept her expression cool and hard, fingers digging into his side. 

    “This is the woman you spoke of? She’s gorgeous!”

    “Thank you.”

    “Man, look at her. Faie didn’t tell me he had a woman.”

    “She’s beautiful. Glad you were able to free her.”

    “Indeed.” 

    “Will she then be a female leader for your camp of women?” 

    “We haven’t discussed anything as of yet.”

    “I see.” The men looked at her and she said not a word. 

    “Doesn’t speak much huh?”

    “Xaen…” He lifted her chin to make her look at him. 

    “It’s okay. These are trustworthy men.” 

    “I’ll see about that.” 

    “You got yourself a feisty one Faie..”

    “Yeah that’s how he likes em. Can’t you tell?” Laughter spread through the group and he chuckled lightly. 

    “Are you ready to go?” 

    “Yes.”

    “Very well. I’ll meet you guys later on.”

    “Take up my offer for a nightcap Faie.” Zachiel said with a big grin, lifting his cup. 

    “Acknowledged.” Pulling her away, he went in the direction of the central headquarters tent. 

    “It seems you have built yourself a nice brotherhood here.” She observed as he reached for her hand. 

    “Yeah. These guys helped me through.” The rest of the walk was relatively quiet as they reached the compound. Upon sight of them, Avery poked his head through the tent opening. 

    “Hey.”

    “Hi.”

    “Showin her around?”

    “Yes. She’s met Zachiel and his bunch already.”

    “Okay then. Well, it’s just me and another subordinate here. I’m sure Faie told you that he leads this bunch.” She nod, lips pressed tight. 

    “I am his second in command. We met years ago in another refugee camp and since then, we’ve stuck together.” Her grip on his hand tightened ever so slightly. 

    “I have a wife who serves a life sentence in the metropolis, same as you did.” That peaked her interest some and she let go of his hand save two fingers. 

    “Just like Faie here I aim to rescue her and bring her back into freedom.”

    “What is her name?” She asked quietly, staring at him. 

    “Tyvni. Tyvni Kim.” Her eyes grew wide. 

    “Tvyni Kim?”

    “Yeah..you’ve seen her?” Avery asked, standing up from his desk. 

    “She visited once or twice to a meeting Jesyra conducted.”

    “Did you speak to her?”

    “Not but briefly.”

    “What’d she say?”

    “She expressed how she wanted to join the resistance. But after the second time, I never saw her again.” Avery tightened his fists. 

    “Got it.”

    “Avery.” Letting go of his hand completely, she stepped closer to him. 

    “She couldn’t have been too far away from my cell block. Where Gael retrieved me…she can’t be too far away. The prision is massive yes. But, Jesyra gained her initial following of freedom fighters on my side of the building.” He nod, jaw tight. 

    “I appreciate the information.” 

    “I hope you are able to succeed in your mission.” Smiling slightly at her, he sighed. 

    “Me too.” 

    “Av, when is the next gathering?” 

    “In a few days.”

    “There I will introduce Xaen to the camp. For now, I’ll take her back.”

    “Sounds good.” 

    “Ready?” She nod but not before outstretching her hand towards Avery. 

    “Best of luck to you Avery.” Firmly shaking her hand, he smiled at her. 

    “Appreciate that Xaen.” 

***

    On the way back, I lifted my hand to my mouth, the sand in the air suffocating. Noticing, Gael stopped and pulled off the scarf he had around his neck. Wrapping it around my head, he covered my mouth. 

    “This air is difficult to breathe. It had taken some getting used to.” Thanking him softly, we resumed our walk. There were so many questions I had to ask but I’d persist. One thing proved clear. Gael had utilized his time wisely in the time we’d been apart. His actions pleased me greatly. He still had a heart for people and he’d risked his life time and time again for this bunch. I was given a reprieve as we came up on his tent. Taking in lungfuls, I sighed upon entering. 

    “What are your thoughts? You’ve been very quiet.” He mused, standing near the entryway, arms crossed. 

    “I have too many thoughts to name just one.” I replied, taking his scarf and neatly folding it. 

    “I’m curious to hear them.” Coming to sit down at his desk, I looked at him for a while before I spoke. 

    “You’re very much needed here.” My statement surprised him and he smiled gently. 

    “I think so too.”

    “How long have you been leading these people?”

    “Five years.” 

    “Wow.”

    “Yeah…they welcomed me in with open arms and allowed me to lead them whenever Tceis threatened to destroy them. I had to feel useful somehow.” Coming into the room, he laid hands on the desk, near an array of tools. 

    “When we are not in danger, I take to repairing machinery and curing those who have fallen ill.” 

    “You still practice medicine…” A small smile came to my mouth. He was a healer by blood and his desire to make people well came straight from his heart. Perhaps that is why Txeis wanted his abilities so. The greatness within him couldn’t help but be noticed. 

    “Yes…after all this time it has not ruined me.” Coming to stand beside me, he lifted my hand. 

    “I have several projects to complete today. Would you like to accompany me or explore on your own?” 

    “I want to see what this Chanthy is about.”

    “Alright. I’ll be back in a few hours.” 

    “Okay.” Lifting my hand, he pressed a kiss to it and soon left me alone. Biting my lips, I stood and went to finger some of his clothes. Pressing my nose against them, I felt tears come to my eyes. Quietly, I sobbed, the emotion within my chest spilling free. My mind threatened this all was another deception brought about by the drugs that once coursed through my veins. But the earthy sweet scent that dwelled in his clothes told a different story. A truer story. We’re really here…we’re really together. 

    Letting go of his belongings, I wiped my face with back of my hands. All this time we could have been together… like always… We’d been robbed most cruelly. But now that I had my freedom, I needed to have him be apart of me again. To make me even a little bit whole.

***

    A long day it had been. Vehicle grease lined the inside of his nails and his body was tired from the medicinal treatments he’d given. Sighing, he gladly opened the flap to his tent, eager to see her. She didn’t disappoint, sitting in the middle of the floor, sluicing water in a small tin pan. 

    “Xaen,” Turning, she smiled. 

    “Welcome back.” 

    “Somehow I wasn’t sure if you would be here.” She stood, lifting the pan. 

    “I share your sentiment.” He sat down at the table, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve. She came to sit the pan on the table. 

    “What did you discover?” He asked, watching her intensely. 

    “This place is full of surprises and wonders. But I can’t help but miss Zor. The long country roads, lush green grass.” 

    “Mm.”

    “You could make a very nice life here. That’s for sure.” 

    “But?”

    “But nothing…Chanthy is a haven. I’ve determined that.”

    “I agree.” She gently slid small fingers across the back of his hand. 

    “I discovered this pan as well. I figured I would care for you the same way you care for your camp.” Lifting his hand, she turned it palm side up. Quiet, she ran fingertips across the blisters and hard skin. 

    “Xaen…” Pressing her lips against the skin, she lowered it into warm water, smoothly scrubbing away the dirt and grime. He couldn’t find words, emotion locked within his throat. She brushed underneath his nails with a small brush until the appearance satisfied her. He watched her intensely as she lowered the other hand and groomed him with tenderness and care. She stepped back for a moment, finding a towel dry and clean. Before she could dry them, he’d pulled her closer by her arm. Touch solid but gentle, he grew her closer still. The emotion that lied in his belly had drifted below his waist and the long forgotten tendrils of desire stroked his blood. Her presence, the force of her shook him to his core and he wanted more. 

    “Gael…” Pressing his forehead against hers, he sighed heavily, letting her arm go to instead encircle her hip. 

    “You’re the very first thing I thought about when I arose and the last thing I thought about before I closed my eyes. My spirit cried out for you but I never could reach you.” The skin underneath his fingers felt like the finest satin. He lifted his gaze to hers and her gaze mirrored his. They spoke volumes without her having to say a word. 

    “I fear you are just another dream. Should I kiss you will you vanish from me?” Without a word, she lifted hands and pulled his hair out of the restrainer. Getting lost in the strands, she gripped them slightly. Nuzzling his nose, she lowered her mouth to his. He felt his body come alive, the press of her lips a slow tender fire.

    “Here I am husband…and how I have missed you…Everything about you…”  She let his lips kiss her, roam free and explore. His hands strong and large covered her and she sighed, allowing him to pull her up into his lap.

    “Gael…” She whispered as he pressed his face against her chest. He was silent, waiting… listening. 

    “I must be reunited with you…I must know you again.” He bent and kissed her clavicle. 

    “Very well.” 

***

     For the very first time in over 10 years… I felt safe again.  Fingers traced along the side of my waist. Like a paintbrush, they formed lines across my ribs. I could feel my breath grow heavier. Lifting me up into his arms, he stood. I slid fingers into silky hair and kissed him deeply as he crossed the room. A low rumble electrified me as he gently laid me down upon furs. His lips, as soft as I held in my memory took tiny little pieces of me as they left mine and traveled downwards. Tears came to my eyes. My mind hadn’t accepted his existence. But, now…now I simply wanted…needed to surrender to reality. 

    “Gael…” He took in a shaky breath, discarding slowly what clothed me. For a long while, he just stared at my naked flesh silently. His eyes were intense, filled with so many emotions I couldn’t name them all at once. Lifting, I brought my hand to his cheek and made him look at me. 

    “Time had been taken from us so cruelly. It’s not fair.” His eyes grew teary at once and he soon pulled the clothes from his body until he was as bare as the day he was birthed. His kiss spoke of sadness and grief… crippling grief. I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me as he began to weep. We never did get to mourn for the soul we had so tenderly created that was ripped from our grasps. 

    “Xaen…”

    “Yes husband?” Lifting above her, he pressed his forehead against hers. 

    “Will you allow me to possess you? In mind, body, spirit…even your soul?” Lifting my legs around his hips, I urged him closer ever so slightly. 

    “Have your way my love.” With permission granted, he began to take hold of me, lips, mouth and tongue awakening the parts of me I yearned for him most. I gasped for breath but it didn’t come until he had become apart of me, nestled deep inside. I didn’t even try to contain the sound that came from my belly. Shuddering against me, his throat resounded with throaty notes and his hands, large and warm covered my hips, bringing them closer. I felt the wet heat of release tickle my skin but I fought it off. Not yet. Not until I was ready. 

    Pushing up, I turned until I hovered above him. I had to bring some sense of normalcy back between us. The time away from us communicated almost animalistic hunger. Tangling his strands between my fingers, I leaned down to kiss him soft and sweet, the way I felt. Arms enclosed around me, his breath warm against my chin. My body moved to a dance of its own, coaxing him to follow. But, his fingers gripped my cheeks, his willing submission. His eyes held power and emotion as I flitted so delicately. Lifting from the furs, he pressed his face against my breasts, breath discordant. You are everything. His voice was calm but emotive as it echoed across my brainwaves. His nose pressed against my neck. Smiling, I pressed kisses to his hairline and further down to his cheeks. He bit his lip before raising his eyes, beautiful and deep. Xaen…I began to move again and his shaky groan gave me life. Let me reclaim you first. In my own way.             Leaning back, I arched my back, lifting my arms above me. Further I went until I felt the warm fire’s heat against my forehead. His breath caught in his throat. I wanted to love him in a way I’d never before done and this was the only way I could tell him exactly what lied in my heart. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply and willed my hips to move, nice and slow.  

***

    He wouldn’t ever be able to remove her from his mind, not like this. She’d shifted their entire world into another level of eroticism… one they’d never before discovered. In only a way in which she could, she left him breathless. He forced himself to remain still, fingers gliding up across her stomach. Soon, they covered her breasts. He gently followed her gait. 

    “Gael…” Letting go of her, he loosely encircled her waist and moved his body weight forward, allowing her to lie flat against the furs. Pressing his face against her ribcage, he felt the urge to climax hit him in the stomach. Not until she was ready. He wouldn’t do it without her. 

    “Xaen…baby…” She grasped his hair and pulled, forcing him to slide upwards. 

    “I submit to you. Do what you will.” Crushing his lips against hers, he intertwined their fingers and pushed them back into the furs. He wasted no time and the ferocity that dwelled in him crumbled her into pieces. She gripped his fingers tightly and surrendered to the will of his body, a loud wailing cry coming from the depths of her spirit. He devoured her release coming to his own with a groan that vibrated against her lips. She tore her mouth from his, gasping for breath. Pressing his mouth against her jaw, he drew breaths until they slowed. He wasn’t satisfied until he felt her heart pump against his ear. Then and only then did he close his eyes and find rest.