I
Jonah Ace picked up his calculator and slid it back in the black case after finishing his last problem for his AP Calculus homework. “Bitch Alert.” He knew what that meant; the presence of Chanel Birladeanu. Jonah’s calculator was in mid-air as he was about to put it in its designated space in his backpack.
His eyes were glued to Chanel’s legs as they traveled from her shiny black Mary Jane’s, up her pristine white socks, up her thighs, up her pleated plaid skirt, continuing toward her crisp white button-down, where his eyes lingered on her ever-present chest. Beautiful. That was the only word that could be ascribed to Chanel. She was a definite ten if he rated women. His eyes finally sought out her face- the face of an angel. When he finally looked into her shining brown eyes, they made the eye contact he had always dreamed of. She had a pretty smirk on her glossy lips. Jonah almost smiled back when she looked away and went into the arms of one of her friends. They all giggled and after greeting each other, they kept walking.
"Eh. Eh. Hey, Jonah!" Jonah looked up to see his brother, Clive snapping in his face in order to get his attention. “Hey, stop fantasizing. She’s never going to notice you!”
Jonah swatted his hand away. “I’m not a dog, don’t snap at me. And, if you didn’t realize, we just made eye contact.”
Alicia, their friend snorted and shook her head. “Now you’re really dreaming.” She closed her binder and stuffed it in her backpack. “Now, let’s go get pizza, I’m famished.”
“We really did though…” He trailed off, putting his stuff away and following his best friends out of the sitting area. “And, you’re not famished, you just ate.” He mumbled as they went through the doors.
“Oh shut up, Jonah. You have to give me points for that vocabulary though right?” Alicia asked throwing an arm around his shoulder.
Jonah playfully rolled his eyes with a smile on his face as they all piled into their cars, promising to meet at their favorite pizza parlor.
Chanel trotted around her mansion, making sure all of the help made sure they knew exactly what their jobs were. Tonight was her back to school party, and she needed it to be perfect. Senior year- her turn to throw the party, and since it was her classmate’s last back to school party to attend for the academy, she had to make it was the best. She made sure the caterers were set, that the flower company knew what color daisies to bring and the most important part- a DJ. Despite being in school for a month already, she decided to have it this late to prolong the suspense.
Chanel’s phone rang in the back pocket of her jean capris. Taking it out, she tapped the call button and smiled while answering. “Hey Izzy, what’s up?” She said, gesturing to a maid to open the door. She watched the delivery men bring in the daisies. “To the garden, please.” She told them.
“What’s going on?” Izzy asked through the phone.
“The flower delivery just came. I’m so excited and anxious. This party has to be impeccable!” She sang, racing up to her room for the closet. “O-m-g, I still don’t know what I’m going to wear, like should I go basic, or should I dress fancy, like what?”
Izzy laughed at her friend’s silly behavior. “Your invitations stated to dress casual, Chanel.”
Chanel opened the door to her bedroom and closed it behind her. “Oh, I did, didn’t I?” She picked up the invitation from her vanity and examined it.
Saturday, August 16
9:45-?? ;)
Attire: Casual
“Oh, right.” She put it back on the surface and went to her closet. “I have the perfect outfit for this. Now that I think of it, I think I’ve had one planned for weeks!”
“You have,” Izzy deadpanned. Sighing, she continued. “Anyway, I actually called to tell you that Heather and I are en route to your crib, keep the door open for us.”
Chanel smiled and opened her closet and began sorting through her clothes for her outfit. “Okay, I’ll see you when you get here then. Ciao!” She then hung up the phone and tossed it onto her bed. Disappearing back into her closet, she found some of what she was looking for; a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans.
“Chanel, we’re here!” She poked her head out of her closet to see her friends open her door and come in.
Michelle lifted her arms. “And we come bearing gifts.” She announced with a grin.
“Oh yes. You know I could not be caught dead eating at my own party. You guys know me so well.” Chanel took the bag that was being handed to her and plopped on the floor with her back against her vanity. A greasy burger was just what she was craving too.
Jonah was stretched across the booth in the gourmet pizza restaurant that his friends frequently visit. “What do you guys have planned for tonight?” He asked, taking a bit out of his third slice of pizza.
“Nothing much; while you were daydreaming about BCBB, Clive and I were thinking about a horror movie Saturday. You in?” Alicia answered, taking a sip of soda.
Jonah shook his head, declining her offer. Clive and Alicia looked at him with shocked expressions. This is the first time Jonah had ever backed out of a horror movie night. “No, guys, let’s do something different tonight.”
“Do something different?” Clive asked, sharing a puzzled look with Alicia. “And by different you mean…?”
Jonah took a deep breath before presenting his idea to his friends. “Chanel Birladeanu’s back to school party.”
Alicia almost spit her drink. Instead, she hurriedly swallowed it before bursting. “Jonah Ace, are you crazy?” She shouted, grabbing the attention of the other diners in the parlor. She blushed before taking herself down a notch. “Jonah, are you crazy? You want us to attend BCBB’s party?” She whispered.
Sitting up straight, Jonah nodded. “Yeah, but if you guys don’t want to go, I could just by myself.”
“That’s even worse.” Clive spoke up. “Just look: a bunch of losers showing up at Chanel Birladeanu’s party? We would never hear the end of that.”
Jonah shook his head. “Guys, how bad can it be? There’ll be what, over five-hundred people in her mansion? No one will even know we’re there.”
Alicia and Clive shared another look. “Fine,” Clive agreed. “We’ll go to the party, but we’re only going to prove that the party scene is not for us.”
Clive and Jonah didn’t spend much time changing their clothes, but Alicia went all ‘girl’ for the event. “Oh my gosh, what should I wear?” She actually came downstairs in the dress she wore for junior prom. “Is this too formal?” Clive and Jonah actually were on the floor laughing when she asked that.
“The invitation says casual, Alicia. Casual. What do you not understand?” Clive jabbed throwing the small folded cardstock at her. Alicia blushed and stormed upstairs to change her clothes.
“This is better, right?” She was wearing a pair of black high waisted shorts and a white v neck t-shirt tucked in. With a pair of sneakers, she was ready to go finally. Alicia had thrown her hair into an artfully messy bun and did her make up.
“Much, now let’s go.” Jonah answered, jumping up from the couch.
“Easy there, tiger, the party doesn’t start until nine forty-five. We can get there at ten. Plus, she lives in this neighborhood and it’s only nine thirty.” Clive said, ushering his over eager friend to sit down. Clive actually couldn’t take his eyes off of Alicia as she disappeared into her kitchen to procure some drinks for them. She looked so different.
Chanel brushed on her final layer of maroon lipstick as the music began to reverberate around the house. Running her fingers through her burgundy hair, she slipped on her beanie and checked herself out in the mirror one last time. “Do I look okay, guys?” She turned to her friends and posed.
She was wearing a black beanie, a solid black crop top, her dark jeans, a black and gray plaid flannel wrapped around her waist, and a pair of black combat boots. “You are a ten, easily,” Izzy remarked, coming up to her and straightening her gold chain necklace. "Okay and what about me?” Chanel stepped back and looked her best friend up and down. She was wearing black leggings, a white crop top, and combat boots. The crop top showed off her belly button piercing, a short dangling diamond shaped ruby. Her waist length hair was pulled on top of her head in a tight and neat bun and he ears adorned a pair of ruby hoops.
“You’re a definite ten point five!” Chanel said high fiving her best friend. “Now it's your turn, Michelle.” Izzy and Chanel turned their attention to Michelle, who posed for them while smirking. She already knew she was a ten, she didn’t see any reason for being rated tonight. “You cocky bitch!” Chanel reached over and playfully smacked Michelle’s arm. Michelle giggled and flipped her long hair over her shoulder. Michelle was wearing a pair of ripped light wash skinny jeans and a maroon crop top, fitting in with the central theme. Her long hair was bone straight and her right arm was stacked with gold bracelets.
The three of them stood in front of Chanel’s mirror and Izzy, in the middle, whipped out her cell phone and they posed as Izzy held up her arm and snapped a picture. “Send that to us.” Chanel requested before checking her appearance one more time and walking towards the door. “Are we ready?”
“Yes!” Michelle and Izzy said at the same time, following their friend as she locked the door behind them.
Jonah and his friends rolled up to the parking lot of Chanel’s mansion. Jonah paid for valet and they were allowed into the first party of the year. “So do we just walk in, or do we have to knock?” Clive asked, his fist inching toward the door.
“This is a party; do you really think they would be able to hear your knocking over that loud music?” Jonah asked him, his eyebrows rising as if he was talking to a child. “You just go in.”
Clive threw his hands up in surrender. “Hey, don’t get mad at me, I’m not experienced in this sort of thing.”
Alicia, tired of their bickering, reached through the brothers and opened the door. “O-m-f-g, now look how easy that was?” With a sarcastic smile on her face she pushed through them and walked into the party. It was 10:15; they were officially thirty minutes late. And this is okay, because that’s how the cool kids do it. “On second thought, Jonah, you can go in first.”
Jonah rolled his eyes and walked into the party. Pushing through people, he made his way to the less crowded place, Alicia clung onto Jonah’s black polo shirt, and Clive positioned his hands on Alicia’s hips. “Where exactly are we going, Jonah?”
“Just follow me.” He said, turning his head just a little bit in order to assure them. He led them to a corner that, as he predicted, wasn’t that crowded.
When there was no more danger of them being individually pulled into the crowd, Alicia smacked Clive’s hands off her hips. “Wow, Jonah, you lead us to where we usually are.” She exclaimed sarcastically, gesturing to the corner that they had backed themselves in.
“That's very funny, Alicia.” Clive deadpanned. “But hey! At least we’re by the drink table, right?” He tried to lighten the mood, sweeping his hand over the long wood table with a grey table runner from one end to the other. Clive picked up one of the acrylic cups. “Nice! It's hard plastic!" He took a swig out of his chosen cup, upset to find that it was just soda. “Okay, where’s the alcohol?” He asked turning and scanning his eyes across the labeled sections of the table. Alicia and Jonah shared a look before shaking their heads.
Jonah, against his better judgment, also searched for the alcoholic drinks.
SODA, LEMONADE, HARD ALCOHOL, LIGHT ALCOHOL, WATER.
Deciding to warm up, he grabbed a cup from the LIGHT ALCOHOL section and a cup of soda, which he was assuming was just cola. Mixing the two, he drank the cup. Although they were labeled as the anti-drinking losers, Alicia, Clive, and Jonah really knew how to hold their liquor. They often drank at each other’s houses while watching movies, playing card games, or just chilling.
“Is this seriously all we’re going to do, guys?” Alicia asked while grabbing herself a soda. “I mean, it’s obvious I’m the D-D, but are you guys just going to stand in the corner and drink?”
Jonah shrugged and reached for a cup of hard liquor. “I don’t know. As soon as you find something better to do, let’s do it.”
“Hey Alicia, let’s dance.” Clive proposed, reaching for her hand. Alicia grabbed it and shot him a smile. “Looks like you’re on your own, brother.” He remarked, shooting his brother a wink.
Jonah shook his head and watched them disappear in the sea of partygoers when he reached for his second drink. It was obvious that Clive liked Alicia, so why didn’t Alicia figure this out? She’s smart, she should know already. Clive always gets extra flirty and extra touchy whenever he drank, and she always thinks it’s because that’s just the way he is.
Jonah stood with one hand in his pocket, the other holding his drink and his eyes scanned the party. He was looking for Chanel. He wouldn’t talk to her. He just wanted to see her.
But, there’s this little thing called liquid courage.
Chanel separated from her friends and meandered through the crowds making sure that everyone was having a good time. Spotting a few people who weren’t enjoying themselves, she decided to leave them alone. If they weren’t having fun, they would surely find the drink tables on their own; she could tell it was those tight-wad people who needed some alcohol to loosen up. She checked the thermostat on the wall, making sure it wasn’t hot, turning the temperature down to sixty degrees. On her way back to finding her friends, she stopped by the drink table and grabbed herself a water bottle. She drained it and threw it in the recycle bin right next to the table. Noticing the lack of contents, she shook her head. Her maids were going to have a really bad time in the morning.
Chanel picked up another water bottle and emptied that one too. While finishing off the last drops and picking up a third, her eyes spotted something they didn’t want to see. Someone was standing in the corner with a drink in their hand!
They weren’t dancing or talking to anyone, they were just standing there with their back against the wall. Not at my party. Although she was a little upset, she couldn’t help but have to bite back a fit of giggles. The person was literally standing in the shadows just holding their drink. Chanel started walking right up to the person.
“Are you not having fun?” She asked while leaning on the wall and taking another sip of water.
The person stood up straight and looked down at her. When he recognized who she was, his eyes widened and he began to splutter out a reply. “Oh, um, uh, Ch-, uh, shit, uh, Chanel. Hi.” He smiled awkwardly.
“Hey there, stranger.” Chanel replied then placed a hand on his back and watched him finish his drink, ready to give him an encouraging push onto the dance floor.
As she did this though, he took it as a sign that she was welcoming something. He bent his six foot frame down and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’m Jonah.” Chanel caught a whiff of Jonah’s breath and rolled her eyes. She passively wondered how many cups he had sipped on already, although, the feel of his lips on her cheek made her a little bit flustered, as she quickly thought of a response.
“And I’m totally caught off guard. Hey, Jonah, why don’t you go dance?” Jonah reached out to take her hand but she quickly snatched it back. “Alone.” As he gave her a pout- which she actually thought was kind of… cute? She watched him toss his cup in the recycle bin and disappear onto the dance floor. She took care of that freak.
II
Jonah woke up the next morning next to Clive with the sun shining on his face. He looked over at the clock on the white wood nightstand. 12:53.
With a groan, he rolled over and shook his brother awake.
“Clive.” Another shake. “Clive.” A slap on the cheek. “Clive, wake up.”
Clive rolled over and put one of Alicia’s white pillows over his head. “Jonah, shut up.”
The door suddenly opened. “Oh. You guys are awake.” Alicia said as she sauntered in wearing just her towel. “I didn’t expect you to be up since you were snoring like pigs, and now I’m just wearing a towel. How awkward.” Jonah glanced at Clive and he was peeking from underneath the pillow. Alicia went into her closet and shut the door behind her. She emerged a few minutes later wearing a pair of black cotton shorts and a tank top. “Don’t you guys have something to do today?” She asked with a smirk.
Jonah groaned and fell back onto the bed- which smelled like strawberries, making him a little sick. “Clive, huge paper for English is due at midnight.”
Clive sat up. “Can’t we just skip all that? I kind of just want to sleep.”
Alicia clicked her tongue and pulled the blanket off of the brothers. Scoffing she began to nag. "Ugh, you guys got so plastered at the BCBB's party. And how did I dance with Clive while I was sober? Oh, my gosh. Nope. It’s time for you to get up and leave, you nerds. You guys made me sleep in the guest bedroom last night and now I’m being subjected to your presence on what is supposed to be a nice Sunday afternoon? No. Get out.”
Clive was the first to stand up. “Sorry, Alicia. Hey what does the BCBB mean again? I know who it's for I just always forget what it stands for."
She shooed him out while tossing him his shoes. “It stands for 'Bitch Chanel Bird Brain'." Jonah shook his head, not exactly partial to the acronym. The brothers pulled on their shoes and trudged out of her room. "Bye guys!” Alicia said sweetly, closing her door behind them.
Chanel Birladeanu’s back to school bash was two weeks ago and it was still topic of the buzz going around. Chanel had finished packing up her school bag with a slim binder in the crook of her left arm and her pink leather purse hanging from her right shoulder; she began to leave her AP Calculus class with a triumphant smirk on her face. She had just overheard a group of juniors say that her party was better than last years.
“Miss Birladeanu…” She heard from behind her. Her smile quickly faded as she slowly pivoted on her left toe to face her math teacher’s desk.
“Yes?” She said as she approached it.
Mrs. Tomane looked at her and slid last week’s quiz in front of her. “Let’s have a chat.”
Chanel bit her lip as she spied the grade on the top of the paper. A thirteen out of thirty-five; that was less than forty percent! Chanel took the paper and slid it into her binder. Well it was no wonder she didn’t get it back with everyone else- her grade was terrible. “Oh god…” she mumbled. Looking back up at the teacher, she sat up straight. “What would you like to chat about?”
“Chanel we’re only a month and a half into the school year. You’re already failing this class.” Mrs. Tomane said pulling out a sheet of paper.
Chanel raised her left eyebrow. “A ‘D’ is not a failing grade yet!”
Her teacher gave her a pointed look. “It is when it’s a sixty point one.”
Chanel’s face fell and she clasped her fingers in her lap. “Your point, Mrs. Tomane?”
“My point is that you need to bring this grade up now. At least to a ‘C’, that way it could at least be a ‘B’ by the time the semester is over. You need to get yourself on two good feet to pass my class. I’m sure you don’t want to have to take it again.”
She let out a breath and looked at the teacher. “Okay, what can I do?”
“For starters,” Mrs. Tomane began, pulling out Chanel’s grade sheet. “You could do your homework more often.”
That was true; Chanel only did homework once a week- twice if she was feeling peachy. “Okay, what else?”
Mrs. Tomane utilized the sheet of paper she pulled out earlier. “You could come in for tutoring after school, before school, and during lunch every day, I’m here all the time.” She pointed to the schedule. “This is the official tutoring schedule if you wish to go to a different teacher, but just so you know, I’m here every day.” She passed the paper to Chanel and began to write her a pass. “You’re free to go. And as the daughter of the headmistress, I expect you to be doing much better than this. I heard good things from your past teachers, but you seem to be suffering from ‘senioritis’ already.” Mrs. Tomane tried to make a joke that just passed in one of Chanel’s ears and right out the other. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Please don’t hesitate to ask me for help.”
Chanel picked up her things including the tutoring schedule and her hall pass. Tutoring my ass. She thought to herself as she marched out of the classroom with a scowl on her face. What would I look like going to tutoring? Yeah right- over my dead body.
Jonah picked up the whole conversation from his seat in the first row. Chanel? His perfect Chanel Birladeanu was failing AP Calculus? Well how cliché and romantic and everything in between would it turn out if he could tutor her in his best subject?
An idea began to form in his head. A very wicked idea actually.
Jonah Ace could tutor Chanel Birladeanu in AP Calculus for the rest of her senior year if she pretended to date him for two months. That honestly sounded like a pretty sweet deal. He gets a short ‘relationship’ with the girl of his dreams for two months and level of popularity that comes with it; she gets the tools she needs to pass AP Calculus. And it’s only two months out of a ten month school year; heck- it was only two months out of a lifetime!
How could she turn down this offer? Who in their right mind would turn down this offer?
So Jonah decided. He would catch Chanel in one of the times that she was alone and propose the arrangement to her.
Jonah was lucky enough to have found Chanel perusing the non-fiction aisle in the school library after school. He had excused himself from Clive and Alicia, telling them he was going to take a trip to the bathroom. On his way there, he saw her crouched down her fingers lightly touching every book, none of them coming up as the one she was searching for. He smiled coyly and then composed himself. “Chanel?” He inquired before clearing his throat.
Chanel looked up, the books she already carried tucked in the crook of her arm. “Yes?” Their eyes met and she squinted, knowing she had encountered him before, possibly on more than one occasion. Standing to her full height, she straightened her skirt and cleared her throat as well.
“Uh, hi. I’m Jonah.”
Jonah, Jonah, Jonah. The name was from somewhere, she couldn’t recall where she had met him. “Jonah…” she mumbled to herself, biting down on her lip. Suddenly she looked at him, her eyes widening in recognition. “You’re the guy that I always catch staring at me, huh?” Jonah’s palms were sweaty as he hadn’t ever realized she had caught him. Tapping the index finger of her free hand on the corner of her lip, she nodded. “And you’re the one that kissed me at my back to school bash,” she informed him, tilting her head to the side a little.
Jonah stuttered over his words as his he got a nervous itch at the back of his neck. “Uh, I have absolutely no recollection of such an event taking place.” He lied in a monotone.
Chanel arched a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at his response and sighed. “Okay, what do you need?”
“What?”
“You obviously approached me for some reason, what do you want from me?”
Jonah took care of that itch at the nape of his neck making his crisp white button untuck just a little bit from his black slacks. “Oh um, will you be my girlfriend?” Okay that did not start out how I planned at all. Jonah thought, internally grimacing at how that sounded.
She took a step back in shock. “Excuse me? I mean I’m flattered and all but I don’t even know you!”
Jonah nodded his head. “Well I’m Jonah Ace, you’re Chanel Birladeanu; what else is there to know?”
“I don’t know! Like my favorite color or my favorite food, or, or, or what I like to do in my spare time? Oh, and keep in mind, I just now learned your last name.” Chanel fired, listing the obvious things.
Jonah waved his hand, dismissing all of her ideas. “Only for two months.”
She hugged the books to herself and shook her head. “This sounds weird, brother. What’s in this for me? The chance to fake date some freak I always catch staring at me? Ugh no thanks.” Scoffing, she declined his offer and turned to leave.
“Ten thousand dollars?” He offered, no willing to bring up his eavesdropping antics just yet.
“Are you serious right now? I’m the richest person at this school, why would I want ten thousand dollars?” Chanel again turned began walking.
“I could tutor you.” She stopped mid-step. “Uh, that way you wouldn’t have to attend Mrs. Tomane’s tutoring times and no one would know about this secret deal.” He thought of something else to sweeten the deal. “Plus, calculus is my strong suit; I have a ninety-nine.” Way to rub it in. “And who in their right mind would take tutoring from the teacher that they couldn’t understand in the first place? That’s absurd.”
Chanel rolled the idea around in her head. There was no one she liked at the moment who would get the wrong idea about her dating Ace, she could totally use the help, and he wasn’t all that bad looking. “Two questions…”
“Shoot.”
“Does the tutoring last as long as the ‘relationship’?”
Jonah shook his head. “All year. Next question.”
“Were you eavesdropping on Mrs. Tomane and I’s conversation?” He rubbed his palms together and nodded.
“I sit in the front row, right in front of her desk. Now, what do you say?”
She spied Jonah’s hopeful look and she thought of his cute pout from the party. It wouldn’t be so bad. So with a shrug of her shoulders, she agreed. “Fine, we’ll do it, but we’ll come up with a strict set of rules,” Grabbing a pen from her purse, she wrote her number down on his palm. “Call me tonight at seven on the dot. Any later, the deal will be off.” She clicked her pen closed and tucked it into her purse. Pivoting oh the heel of her Mary Jane’s, she walked out of the library.
Chanel’s wrought-iron Roman numeral analog clock showed 6:58. Jonah Ace only had two minutes to call or the deal would be off. In the recesses of her mind, she wished he would be late, but at the same time, she wanted, no needed him to be on time. She couldn’t risk the humiliation that’s tutoring. She placed her cell phone on her vanity and began to pace.
6:59.
Okay he has approximately fifty-two seconds to call.
It’s fake dating. The relationship is artificial. Bogus, phony, a replica of what could be. But nobody else knows that, and this is what’s making her have a battle with herself. And goodness, she sounded like some amateur anxiously waiting for her crush to call.
Her phone rang and she ran to it. 7:00.
“Hello?” She answered.
“O-m-g, Chanel, you’ll never guess what happened tonight!”
Chanel rolled her eyes and held in a frustrated groan. “Izzy…”
“Oh well good evening to you, too.” Izzy grumbled. “Anyway, you’re bad mood aside, I have great news!” Chanel heard the tone notifying her that she had another call coming in. She debated on whether or not she should cut Izzy off and talk to Jonah, or listen to what her best friend had to say.
Oh well; first come, first serve.
Hopping onto her bed, she brought her knees to her chest and leaned her head on their caps with a sigh. “What’s this great news?”
“Okay, get ready for it!” Izzy shouted, trying to add to the suspense.
Chanel let out her groan of frustration and urged her friend on. “Holy fuck, Izzy! Spit the shit out already!”
“Damn what has you snappy? Anyway, Parker asked me to homecoming!”
All other thoughts aside, Chanel went into ‘girl’ mode. “O-m-g, Izzy that’s great! Oh gosh we have to go dress shopping a-sap.”
“Okay, I have to call Michelle now, let’s plan that for a few days from now.”
“’Kay, talk to you later.” Chanel was genuinely happy for her best friend, but also genuinely pissed. She quickly hung up with Izzy and went through her called log. She quickly tapped the foreign number at the top of the list and waited for Jonah to answer.
After three rings, he picked up the phone. “Hello?” Seriously, three rings? He should have been waiting next to his phone with bated breath for me to call back!
“Hi, is this Jonah?”
“Yeah, you told me to call you at seven?” Jonah had to confirm, if she was going to be so precise, she should have at least honored the deal.
Chanel sighed. “Oh yeah, sorry about that, someone else called me literally right before you.” She got up and went to her desk in the loft attached to her bedroom. Opening up a notebook that had pink lavender scented paper, she found a blank page and pulled out her pen.
“Oh it’s cool. So what rules did you have in mind?” Jonah asked, getting to the real reason they were talking.
Chanel positioned her phone between her right shoulder and ear and held her pen in her left hand. “Are you writing these down?”
“No… should I be?”
“No it’s okay I have it already. But you should that way you don’t have to be reminded.” She titled the paper Rules. And wrote the number one. “Okay so rule number one is no kissing.” She wrote that and underlined ‘kissing’ with three lines equal in length. “Hand holding only, hugging only when necessary, no pet names unless they’re approved by the receiving party, lunch at my table.”
“Can I bring my friends?” Jonah interrupted.
“Only if they look presentable- no greasy hair.”
“We’re not those kinds of nerds.” He defended.
“Whatever.” She wrote the number six on the next line. “Can we continue?” She asked sarcastically. When she received a grunt of approval from him she moved on. “No exaggerating the relationship- in other words, no spreading lies about the things we don’t do unless I approve of it. Seven: tutoring location switches on and off from mine to yours, always act lovey-dovey in front of people with extra hand touching, we’re not matching for homecoming- or anything unless I say.”
“Homecoming?” He asked, not sure where this played into the list of rules.
“It intercedes. Last rule, number ten: we start the relationship on Monday, September 1, and end it on Friday, October 31- Halloween. Are we clear on the rules?” She asked him.
Jonah thought it over in his head and nodded, even though Chanel couldn’t see that. “Crystal.”
Chanel rolled her eyes and shook her head at his cheesiness. “Okay then it’s settled, I’ll see you on… tomorrow. We need to work on your style.”
“What’s wrong with- uh?” Before he could get out his question, Chanel had hung up the phone. “Okay…”
When Chanel hung up the phone, she tucked the rules into the back of her binder. While closing it, she caught her calculus homework. She glanced at the worksheet and shook her head. “I can’t do it.” She mumbled and closed her binder.
Jonah woke up on Saturday morning and checked his phone. No texts had come in, no e-mails, no phone calls, nothing. He decided he would start the conversation today.
Jonah: What time are we meeting today?
He still hadn’t saved Chanel’s number in his phone. He hadn’t decided what he should save her as. Chanel? Chanel Birladeanu? Girlfriend? Fake Girlfriend? Boo? What? Chanel’s reply came about fifteen minutes later.
Chanel: Let’s meet at 11:30 at the mall. Is that cool with you?
Jonah: Yeah, that’s fine.
Jonah rolled out of his bed and hopped to his closet on happy feet. Opening it up, he looked through all his clothes and sighed. What would he wear to show Chanel that he’s not some badly dressed nerd? Shaking his head, he padded off to his bathroom and turned on the water. He felt like a girl, stressing out over what outfit he would wear to meet the person he liked. Brushing his teeth, he ran his fingers through his hair a few times.
“I should do something new.” He decided, going through his drawer filled with untouched hair products. Jonah had come to the conclusion that she couldn’t do much about his clothes style since they wore uniform so what she really meant was his hair.
Jonah tussled his brown curls and tried different positions on where they fell. He couldn’t decide if he should use gel or not. Deciding against it, he just ran his hands through it, letting it stay where it fell. Walking back into his closet, he wore the first outfit that came to mind. A blue cotton button up, a pair of tan chinos, and a pair of black dress shoes. Doing the buttons on the cuffs, he put on a watch and sprayed on some cologne.
Taking a peek at the clock, he realized it was 11:10 and he should probably leave. He grabbed his wallet and stuffed it in his back pocket and opened his bedroom door.
“Easy, tiger. Where are you going on this fine Saturday morning?” He was stopped by Clive walking by in his pajama pants and socks.
Jonah smiled to his brother. “I have a date.”
Clive rolled a wrist with a cookie in his hand, telling his brother to elaborate. “With…?” He asked suspiciously.
Jonah’s small smile finally broke into a large grin and he answered with, “Chanel Birladeanu.” And quickly sped off before his brother could ask any more questions.
Chanel was actually woken up by Jonah’s text. She knew she should’ve done away with that interval reminder setting; ten minutes after she initially received his text, she got a reminder that he was trying to communicate with her. Rolling over and grabbing her cell phone off of the nightstand, she unplugged it and checked the text. “Jonah?” She whispered to herself, and then realized it was Jonah Ace, some nerd that’s actually going to tutor her in exchange for her presence in his life.
What a pathetic proposition, really. Who would offer up a year’s worth of tutoring a stubborn girl like her in exchange for two months of dating? If it was her, she would’ve asked to go the rest of the semester. That seemed reasonable enough for the amount of time he would have to put in for tutoring her.
It took her about five minutes to come up with a location. At ten o’clock, she decided to get out of bed and start getting ready.
Hopping in the shower, she put it on warm and stood under for a few minutes before getting out.
She did her makeup and hair then skipped over to her closet.
“What should I wear?” She mumbled out loud. It took her twenty minutes of sifting through an endless closet before she finally realized she didn’t need to dress fancy for Jonah. Chanel could show up to the mall in sweatpants and he would still drool.
She figured he’d wear something like a button or something. Or maybe he’d wear his hair in a ridiculous curly side part. She went to the portion of her closet that held all of her one pieces. Jumper after jumper, she landed on a halter top jumper with a blue paisley pattern throughout. The outfit was loose and comfortable and something she didn’t mind wearing. After buckling a pair of black strappy wedges, she put on a golden watch and sighed contently at her outfit. She looked nice and casual. Her three inch wedges would probably make them see eye-to-chin, she contemplated while spraying on her perfume. Running a hand through her straight hair one last time, she smiled, grabbed her purse and got ready to leave.
Jonah and Chanel arrived at the mall at the same time. Before they left their homes, they had agreed to meet at a café on the second level.
Chanel had just sat down in a wooden chair when Jonah arrived. “Hey there.” He greeted as he approached her with his hands deep in his pockets.
She let out a low whistle as she looked him up and down. “Did you do something different with your hair?” she commented, reaching up and touching a piece after he sat down.
He shrugged nonchalantly before answering, but his cheeks heated considerably. “I figured you couldn’t do much for my uniform so you really wanted to do my hair, which I can admit didn’t look all the great, so I decided to try something different today.”
“Well it looks good; do that every day.” she complimented. He blushed again and looked down at his hands. Taking a look at the menu on the table she looked for something to sip and nibble on. “Well since we just came out here for nothing, we might as well get something to drink, right?”
“Right,” he agreed, picking up a menu of his own. “Have you been here before?”
Chanel nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“What do you recommend?” He asked as his eyes scanned the menu of undesirable options. The only thing he would consider on here is a fountain drink.
Chanel glanced at him. “Not a coffee guy?” she didn’t need an answer. “I recommend you just get pop or something. Maybe a smoothie.”
“Not really a smoothie guy either. I’ll just get some soda.” Chanel shrugged, not really caring what he got. Jonah set his menu down and out it to the side. “What are you getting?”
Chanel placed her on the side also and said, “I’ll take a French vanilla iced coffee with three creams, ten sugars, and a mandarin orange bowl, please.” Jonah nodded his head and walked up to the line. Chanel couldn’t help but stare as he walked away and eventually stopped behind a woman and two young kids. He shifted all of his weight onto his left foot and took out his wallet.
She examined his broad shoulders and let her eyes travel down his narrow waist and hips and finally to his legs. She couldn’t make much out through his pants, but she knew if they were proportionate to the rest of his body, they were probably alright in her book.
Five minutes later, Jonah set Chanel’s order down in front of her. “Here you are,” he announced as he settled into his own seat with his soda, two large cookies, and red velvet pound cake. Chanel’s lips slightly parted when she spotted the cake slice. Red velvet cake was her weakness. And of course Jonah knew this, so he put it to the side and began eating his cookies. It actually irritated him when she ordered a fruit bowl instead of something that she really wanted.
Chanel broke open her fork and picked at the mandarin slivers. Putting one in her mouth, she imagined it was the cake, but the sour citrus ruined the entire image. “Are you not going to eat that?” She asked, pointing at the cake.
“No.” He said, taking a sip of his soda. He was getting joy from watching her hungry look as she eyed the sugary treat. “Why? Do you want it?”
Her gaze quickly snapped to his and an incredulous look formed on her face. “God no! Way too much sugar.”
Jonah expression went flat. “Are you sure? I bought it and then I realized I wasn’t in the mood for something so decadent.”
“Yeah, decadence- that piece of cake would literally be my downfall.” She defended. But she really wanted it. At his surprised look, she scowled. “Okay, if there’s anything school related that I’m good at, it’s English.”
“But why? One slice isn’t going to kill you.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess not.” Reaching across the table, she picked a piece of the cake off and ate it. Suppressing a moan, she pushed her fruit aside and pulled the pink paper bag toward her. How long has it been since she’d indulged in sweet treats? Too long. Watching her while she ate, Jonah continued eating his cookies and sipping his soda with a smile on his face.
How was this possible? Chanel even ate like an angel.
When Chanel finished her cake, she grabbed her large and purse. “Are you ready? I want to shop around a little bit if that’s cool with you. Cause if you want to leave I could totally call my girlfriends to come.”
Jonah picked up his trash and soda. “Uh, yeah I can come with you.” He said, standing up from his chair and taking Chanel’s trash. “I’ll meet you by the food court exit.” She nodded and walked away.
Jonah silently grinned to himself while throwing away the trash. Chanel actually invited him to shop with her. This was a major milestone in their relationship! He finally got to see how long it took her to pick out a blouse; he got to see her check herself out in the mirror. Wow, what a lucky day he had to have this opportunity.
Chanel and Jonah walked together to an expensive clothing store first. One thing Jonah learned about Chanel was that she was not a stroller; she only liked to walk with speed. The only time she slowed her pace was when she saw something she really liked, then she rolled the material around in between two fingers while trying to convince herself she didn’t need any more clothes.
“But I need this.” She would say to herself, looking through – not at - Jonah as she did. “Oh well, I’ll just send whatever is similar to the Salvation Army,” she would justify to make it sound okay. At least she had a heart. “In with the old and out with the new, right?” And with these words, she would hook the hanger to her finger and keep moving.
Walking wasn’t the only thing she was quick with. Her fingers flew so fast through each rack of clothing, Jonah wasn’t sure is she was actually looking. Sometimes she would pause on something just to insult it. “Holy shit, this blouse is hideous. Look, Jonah!” She would wave him over, scrunch her nose and show him whatever it was she was vetoing. “Okay, last stop.” She finally said as they were trekking through the mall. They stopped in front of a lingerie store and Chanel looked at Jonah, just to make sure it was totally okay. “Hey, are you cool with this?” She asked for reassurance, but she really didn’t care; it was time to buy sexy underwear. Every two months, she comes to the mall and totally splurges on underwear.
“Yeah, it’s okay,” Jonah confirmed. But as he took his first step in and the smell of warm vanilla hit him and he saw the poster of a model in underwear lying amongst a mountain of pillows, it suddenly wasn’t okay. Everything Chanel picked up, Jonah imagined it on her. It seemed kind of perverted, the way he trailed behind her, sniffing the perfumes while she put the cups of a bra against her own chest.
It wasn’t until they had been in the shop for ten minutes did she pick up a lacey red bra and turn to Jonah. “Does this color look good against my skin?”
To say that Jonah was surprised would be an understatement. He was flabbergasted. And he churned out a reply Chanel was not expecting. “I think anything would look great against your skin, but don’t you already have one like that? I mean, doesn’t every girl?”
Chanel shook her head. “I guess I do, but the other set is a year old and doesn’t come with panties like this. This one comes with a tanga panty, the other one comes with a G-string,” What is the difference? Jonah thought as he began to imagine Chanel in the set she was currently holding. “I’ll put the other bra in the Salvation Army pile. But you’re also wrong; not every girl has a red bra and panty set. Especially not in this shade of red.”
“Well why not?” He asked, shrugging his shoulders. His mine started to wonder if Alicia had a set like that. He internally shivered; Jonah did not like Alicia that way- at all.
Chanel rolled her eyes. “The color red doesn’t look good on just anyone! You have to have the perfect skin tone.”
Jonah cleared his throat while he thought this through. “But why does that matter?”
“Do you really think I would have died my hair this burgundy color if it didn’t look good?” She asked rhetorically, turning and picking up the same set in royal blue. “You know what, Jonah? You have a lot to learn.” Another set in orange. “Lesson one: girls like to look good. You will never find a girl who doesn’t care about her appearance, even if she doesn’t like the way she looks. Not even just girls, everyone has to work with what they got. It’s hard to just change even the simple things like body weight and muscle mass. Girls just like to look nice. Here’s an example: you would never catch me wearing neon colors. They don’t look good on me and if I’m being totally honest here, they don’t look good on anybody.”
“Okay, I think I understand.” Jonah said, glancing down at the bags he was holding.
“Good,” she ended the conversation and kept walking through the store. The whole time she was talking she was busily grabbing and putting things back. Her next stop was the swimsuit section. She didn’t spend much time there and instead picked up a black one piece. Chanel wears a one piece? That was definitely not what Jonah was expecting. “Okay, I’m ready to go.” She went to the counter to buy her lingerie.
“Aw. That’s cute that your boyfriend shops with you. And he doesn’t look the slightest bit bored.” The cashier remarked with a smile on her face as she scanned Chanel’s items.
Chanel turned and looked at Jonah who, again, sprayed and smelled perfume. “Eh, I guess.” Chanel answered, sliding her card when the cashier was done ringing her up.
“You guys are so cute I hope you last.” Chanel just smiled at the girl behind the counter and gathered her purse and her bag, walking to retrieve Jonah.
They walked out of the store and as they headed for the exit, they were stopped. “Chanel?” She turned and made eye contact with the one guy she hoped she would never see again – Michael Sands.